Why are you unlucky in love. Reason #3. I am unsure of myself as a man and I think that I am not worthy of such a woman. Why men are unlucky in their personal lives
Bad luck in love- one of the most frequent and widespread problems of modern society. “Why am I unlucky in love? After all, I am so smart, beautiful, interesting ... ”- many women ask themselves. But few people know that the reason for such bad luck lies deep in the subconscious. Believe me, it's not always about appearance or character. As the proverb says: “For every product there is a merchant”, it is the same in life.
Let's look at the main reasons why a love relationship may not work out.:
- unsuccessful experience. If in the past a person already had novels with other people that ended unsuccessfully, this is deposited deep in the subconscious and prevents starting a new relationship. The fear of being abandoned or betrayed sits deep inside, and even if new relationships do appear, then with your negative thoughts and memories you “program” them for a sad outcome. In this case, you need to try every time to remind yourself that a new person means a new relationship. Not necessarily a new partner will do the same as the last one. Just let the relationship flow freely without expecting a catch, and you will see that life will become much easier. It will also help you attract love into your life.
- stereotypes. Here, relationships in the family influence the attitude towards the partner. If the parents divorced or quarreled all the time, this is deposited in the subconscious of the child, and when a person grows up, he already has an attitude that scandals are an integral part of relationships. Who wants to get on their nerves for the rest of their lives? And in order to avoid negative emotions, people simply do not perceive the relationship as something serious, or are deliberately set up for their disintegration. In this case, you need to realize that you are not obliged to follow the path of your parents. Remember that all people are different, and it is impossible to predict how your partner will react to a particular event. Listen to your heart and do not listen to the advice of your parents if everything was not going well in their marriage.
- complexes. For every person who has at least one relationship that did not end very well, the thought comes that the problem lies in himself. Maybe he's not handsome enough, he's not smart enough, he doesn't follow fashion, or he has a bad temper... All this develops in people a huge bouquet of complexes that are not only in their heads, but also projected onto others. Believe me, this can be seen when a person is clamped and not confident in himself. Such people attract few people, so you need to do something with yourself. Namely, love yourself. It may seem unrealistic for some, but if you want to build new relationships that will bring you only joy, then you should make an effort on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. Every person is unique. If you do not have a very slim figure, not a pretty enough face, or do not earn enough money, there will still be a person who will love you just like that. You should not adapt to the crowd, be individual. Sign up for a gym if YOU don't like your figure, but by no means do it for the sake of society.
Sometimes people may not think that new relationships cannot be built because they are afraid of being abandoned again. Fear also affects the development of relationships. For example, if an enviable handsome man suddenly starts courting a girl who is completely inconspicuous at first glance, she will probably decide that he is too good for her and she could not be so lucky. And, most likely, will reject courtship. But the guy could really have serious intentions!
The problem of bad luck in relationships mostly affects women, but men also suffer from it, although they have a slightly different vision of this situation. Let's see why people of different sexes are unlucky in their personal lives?
Why is a woman unlucky in love?
Unfortunately, women are more unlucky in love than men. Maybe it's a matter of psychology, or maybe it's just a coincidence. In any case, we can observe the presence of this fact for years, and this cannot but upset. So why is it so difficult for the fair sex to find a beloved man?
The first and most important reason is the excessive requirements for the future chosen one. Do you remember how, as a child, you dreamed of a fairy-tale prince on a white horse? Over the years, this dream transforms into a more serious one: I want a man who is handsome, smart, with money, with a good figure, stylish, cheerful, and so on. Yes, such men really exist, but the demand for them is so great that it is unlikely that you will get it. But that's not the biggest problem. The real problem is that when you make demands on your partner, you forget that they can do the same. Yes, some men also follow the principles and choose smart, beautiful, curvy, domestic girls for relationships, and so on. Think about whether your requirements correspond to your position? It is foolish to dream of a prince when you yourself do not really shine with virtues. In this case, control your desires or take care of yourself.
The second, but far from unimportant reason is fear. Fear of being alone, abandoned, ridiculed. Starting a new relationship, a woman tries to become the best for her man. But over time, it becomes harder to wear a mask, new facets of a woman open up, which a man could not even guess about. Men do not like such surprises, so in such cases they try to disappear as quickly as possible. To prevent this from happening, you should always be yourself.
Yes, guys can like mystery sometimes. But to call the mysterious three folds on the stomach, which you always hid under corsets and braces, the tongue does not turn. Let men see the real you, and if someone likes you in your natural form, you can rejoice. Perhaps it will be a strong and long relationship.
The third problem is the unawareness of the importance of the partner's interests. Healthy selfishness is not always bad, but if in every new relationship you think only about your own benefit, without thinking about what a man thinks about this, then these relationships are obviously doomed to failure. You need to learn to take into account someone else's point of view, consult, think not only about yourself, but also about your beloved. Men do not like it when their opinion is not considered, so do everything possible to avoid this.
Why is a man unlucky in love?
Men are unlucky in love a little less often than women, but still they also face this problem. Many do not really bother about this until the age exceeds a certain figure. But, nevertheless, the problem, as such, exists. Let's look at the main reasons why men are unlucky with girls.
The first reason is overconfidence. It is known that men are hunters by nature. This negatively affects relationships, because, having achieved a girl, many men begin to treat her like prey. Women will obviously not appreciate such behavior. Try to moderate your ambitions a little and treat your rug as if it were your own. Do not impose your opinion on the lady, do not make her feel slighted. Try not to prioritize or put before her a choice. Very often there are scandals when men force a girl to choose between him and her mother. In this case, the majority will choose a mother, because you are practically nobody for her, and if you have not managed to gain her trust yet, consider that such an ultimatum is a serious reason to leave.
The second reason is, on the contrary, a lack of self-confidence. A man who, by some miracle, managed to get a girl, begins to behave like a rag. Allows her absolutely everything and refuses to take an active position in the relationship, putting this heavy burden on the fragile female shoulders. Yes, there is a type of women who will like this alignment, but in general, the weaker sex is called weak for a reason. The girl should feel protected, guarded. In no case do not abuse pity and do not hang a ton of your problems on her ears. Male whiners do not command respect and are regarded by women as weaklings. Provide your lady with a sense of protection, let her sometimes feel weak and stupid, and then you will see how her attitude towards you will change.
The third reason is greed. Yes, girls certainly love gifts. There are also ladies who do not talk about it directly. But be sure that even one rose, presented without a reason, will make your beloved tremble and feel significant. We are not talking about overly expensive gifts. In this case, you need to know the measure. In no case do not spend your last savings to please your beloved, because such a step will make the girl feel like you owe something to you. In addition, if you give everything at once, and you have nothing left, the woman will become uncomfortable with you, because you have nothing more to give her. It is enough for no reason to buy her a chocolate bar, pay for it in a cafe or give a small teddy bear - and the girl will blossom. Remember, never show your greed.
From all that has been said above, we can conclude that in love most often those who have internal problems with themselves are unlucky. You should not look for flaws in your appearance or character, the flaw is your attitude towards relationships with a partner. We sincerely hope that you can make an effort on yourself and eradicate this problem. May you be lucky next time in love!
Without love, complete happiness is impossible. Unfortunately, not everyone manages to find love and keep it for many years. However, there is a reliable way to break a series of failures and find a real mutual feeling.
Strong mutual love makes a person better and stronger, pushes him to self-development and helps to reach new heights. However, if problems are constantly haunted in the personal sphere, and relationships that seem promising at first glance fall apart before they really start, any person begins to lose faith in himself and look for reasons why he is being pursued by a series of failures.
Bad luck in love can manifest itself in different ways. Someone for a long time cannot meet a person whom he could love. Some find a soul mate, but cannot build harmonious relationships and reach mutual understanding, which is why everything ends in parting. And sometimes even stable and happy marriages that have existed for ten years give a crack.
Everyone is unhappy in their own way, but the reasons are similar, which means that there is a universal way that will help solve any problem.
Why are you unlucky in love?
Failures in love are like the symptoms of a disease: they warn of a deep problem, and it is this that must be addressed in the first place in order to get out of a series of troubles and find personal happiness. Most of the reasons for bad luck in love lie in the energy of a person.
The most common reason is the presence of negative attitudes. This is a subconscious belief that "all men are the same", "love passes sooner or later", "any relationship can fall apart" and so on. Sometimes such attitudes are assimilated by a person in childhood because of the negative examples seen or appear in adulthood due to the negative experience experienced. The result is always the same - a person cannot decide on a relationship for a long time, and when he nevertheless decides to look for a soul mate, he cannot make a choice or take a responsible step. The result is lingering loneliness. The fact is that the energy of a person first of all suffers from negative attitudes, and he begins to literally “repel” personal happiness, even if he himself realizes that he wants love and is ready for it.
Dealing with this problem is difficult, but quite possible. The first step towards this is getting rid of negative attitudes and “improving” your energy. A strong talisman can help with this, which will direct your thoughts in the right direction and restore your love energy.
The second most popular reason is self-dislike. If you find yourself in a hopeless relationship over and over again and always give your lover more than you receive, most likely your “disease” is insecurity and dislike for yourself. A person who does not feel worthy of care, true love and bright deeds from his beloved is unlikely to attract a worthy life partner. From low self-esteem in the human biofield, gaps so strong appear that it can take years to “treat”. And as long as a person continues to enter into an exhausting relationship and give his beloved all his strength, without receiving anything in return, the situation will not improve.
You can also break this vicious circle with the help of a strong love talisman. Such a thing can awaken your hidden powers and natural attractiveness, increase self-confidence. Agree, a person who radiates with cheerfulness and energy will attract a worthy candidate for the role of a future spouse much faster?
The third reason is less common, but still it has a place to be. Bioenergy experts say that our world is permeated with flows of energy - positive or negative. And negative energy, especially purposefully used against another person, can cause him great damage: bring health problems, failures in the financial sphere or in love. This is what is called spoilage or evil eye. This is all the more dangerous because it is not always possible to notice a negative impact, and most often it is carried out unintentionally. A simple example is that a happy family was envied (it could be a colleague, acquaintance, or even a friend or relative), and a black streak began: quarrels from scratch, mistrust and scandals. A person might not want such problems for the family, but he was very envious - and the energy impulse was released into the Universe.
If a stable and happy relationship has cracked, and there were no obvious reasons for this, think about it: have you told anyone about your happiness? Did you share your joy with a person who could greatly envy you?
Let all failures remain in the past, because every person is worthy of personal happiness.
Integrative psychologist, practicing psychotherapist,
The other day I heard from a client that he is on the way to “quit everything or yes, these women.” Young, not bad-looking, quite a typical man, does not smoke, occasionally drinks for company, has his own apartment, stable income, vacations in warm countries 2 times a year and, on top of that, is single. And yes, romance is more than enough! In general, a golden set, a dream of women! Why did he end up at a psychologist's appointment with the question "I'm not lucky in love"?Using the example of working with my client, I want to highlight the most common causes of male "bad luck" in personal life, and consider possible options for correcting these situations.
So. The client, let's call him Vladimir, asks: “What is wrong with me? Why don't I have a woman? I want a family and children, but it feels like I will never find the right one. Some bitches around who only want money. And here STOP!
Reason #1. “All women only need money, all women lie, cheat, etc.”
As a representative of the “women”, I always felt sad if a man I liked began to express such an idea out loud. However, being a psychologist, I will explain the following. Of course, experience, the son of difficult mistakes, is the first thing that underlies this delusion.Once upon a time, when Volodya was still young and lived with his mother, he tried to study well, earn furtively and save up for something, because he believed that only he was responsible. And then the sexually mature and hormonal Vovochka met his first girlfriend, from whom everything was spinning around. Perhaps she was older. It’s more interesting with older girls, because they are more experienced, and they look more like women.
And the entire salary flowed there. Flowers, sweets, gifts, movies. What girl can not resist such persistent courtship? Soon Vova remains "thankful" from all sides and for a moment happy in love, but that's bad luck! She didn't appreciate the feelings. She said that he was good, but she was bored with him and she was not ready for a serious relationship.
The offended wounded Vova came home, complained to his mother, and she, reassuring her son, said: “Son, do not pay attention to these .., first study, find a job, and then everything will appear by itself.” And mom was right.
Volodya graduated from the institute, got a job, began to simultaneously develop a business with a friend, and yes, money began to appear more and more easily. And right there again these, who need only one thing. No love or romance. They only ask for rings and coats. Thus, a certain idea was formed, which acquired a permanent character.
Over time, Vladimir himself turned into a cynical and insensitive man who, somewhere in his soul, still dreams of great and bright love and family. But, having met potential love, he automatically does not believe a single word of her, since experience is more influential.
And what to do? To begin with, allow an understanding to arise within yourself that people have the right to be different. And for those who are looking for mercantile relationships, and for those who strive for true feelings, and for those who are ready to live in a hut, and for those who give a hut in the Maldives. The question is what do you want and what do you believe.
If a certain idea of women lives steadily and densely in your head, then a similar response will be from the world in your direction. And here it is worth considering, perhaps it is beneficial for you yourself, and then you should not talk about deep feelings. Just enjoy the pleasant benefit-benefit that actually suits everyone.
Reason #2. To be with a woman, I first need to earn a million.
Of course, the amount is approximate. The metaphor is that today there are indeed many men who are hesitant to build relationships without earning some amount or status. They are sure that for a serious relationship and creating a family, they must be successful in order to make their woman happy. They are not ready to have children until there is a house, an apartment, a car, and even this crisis.It would seem, what good fellows that they care and think about their woman so much. But the question is, do they really think about a woman in these moments?
As long as there is love, perhaps a woman agrees to these conditions, but time goes by, and feelings go somewhere. I know cases when girls got bored with this kind of relationship “dear, everything later, you see, now is not the time, I can’t give you anything” and they left. Only after a while did the man come to his senses and comprehend the loss, because in these races for material achievements, he did not even notice this. The question "What did I do wrong?" confuses everyone.
If you partially recognize yourself in these lines, I think it will be useful to see a woman's point of view on this.
“I need support. And, first of all, it lies in the fact that when I come home, there is someone who can just put his head on his shoulder and who will say that everything will be fine, because he is there.
A woman needs a sense of security, usefulness and honesty. This is the most common answer found among women who want to build a relationship and are ready to give love, have children and go all the way from start to finish, side by side with their man. In sorrow and in joy, as they say. And success, in this case, will come with time.
It’s up to you, men, to decide whether these are just another excuses that are invented in order not to take responsibility for the relationship. After all, here she is a woman, she needs you, she is ready to go along and support in everything. What makes you think, if she does not openly talk about it, that she needs something else? What should be immediately given in return for something material? After all, the path to success is often long. Do you run the risk of remaining in the role of the successful Koshchei the Immortal, with his wealth, but so lonely and evil, by the end of the journey? :)
Reason #3. I am unsure of myself as a man and I think that I am not worthy of such a woman.
All the same Volodya, a quiet, modest boy who is not particularly popular with girls, once secretly fell in love with a classmate. But besides him, half a class of boys loved her, and the girls stared, to be honest. On quiet winter evenings, he dreamed of how one day he would invite her to the cinema or to his birthday, to which she would definitely come, and then she would see what he really was, this Vova. Reliable, loyal and, most importantly, how he knows how to love sensually.But the script did not turn into its director's version and Vova failed, and even got ridicule, God forbid. Children are cruel to other people's feelings. So the poor wounded boy lived with this pain for the rest of his days. Although his squeezed potential always burst out and he liked not ordinary girls, but very difficult ones. I had to live in splendid isolation. Each time he felt like that ridiculed teenager whose feelings were not appreciated. He was angry and, perhaps, even hated the very first one. And now, it turns out, and live with it? Of course not!
Often, over the years, gray girls endure miracles of transformation. Suddenly they blossom and become hyperattractive for men. The same is probably true for men. However, the inner truth, to which poor Vova is so accustomed, does not allow positive scenarios to live in his head. And fear binds because of the reluctance to hurt yourself again.
The question is, as a grown man, are you ready to try not to be a small wounded "pimple"? Statistics play into your hands! There are more and more single women, perhaps they are waiting for just such a person as you! An adult, ready to ride through fear like a tank and show his woman what kind of "Vova" he really is.
A woman does not fall in love with words, she cannot read minds and does not always know exactly how much you like. A woman falls in love with herself. The one that so often seemed like quiet winter evenings.
In addition to the main three reasons, behind the scenes, topics such as:
- "no brains",
- "not outstanding dimensions of manhood",
- "the search for identical views and values, or rather the frequent absence of such",
- "I'm not like that, I'm not worthy, work, money, my mother said,"
- “I didn’t have much luck with women, that’s why I’m gay”, etc.
If you don't start thinking about it now, what next? The category of children raised without fathers is growing; the fashion for homosexual relations, metrosexualism and alphonism is being strengthened; women are increasingly angry at the frivolous attitude to relationships; it becomes more difficult to trust and everything goes in a vicious circle.
Being yourself, what does that mean to you?
How often have you caught yourself thinking that fate is not very inclined to indulge you with happiness in your personal life and loneliness - this seems to be the cross that you will have to bear until the end of your days? All attempts to correct the situation usually have a zero result, and the men in your life appear and dissolve in the air, like ghostly mirages of the desert. Familiar story? If so, then the time has come for a radical change, both externally and internally.
How much am I worth?First of all, let's understand, in love? Most likely, all your troubles are from the fact that you simply underestimate yourself. In any textbook on economics, you can read that what is the cost of the goods, so is the buyer. Hang a price tag of $ 1,000,000 and men will pray for you as an icon, but if the figure of 1 ruble modestly looks through on your personal label with a barcode, then everyone around you will instantly believe in it, and you, most likely, will and you will sit alone in your room, thinking about how unfair life is and sad about the fact that you are constantly unlucky in love.
Is everything so bad?The thing is that we are seen from the angle that we turn to people. Admit it, because you probably have a lot of virtues that you stubbornly hide for some unknown reason.
For example, it seems to you that you are full and the realization of this greatly spoils your life. Try to look at it from the other side. Firstly, not full, but feminine, and secondly, your waist may not be the thinnest in the world, but nature, most likely, generously endowed you with breasts, which means we will throw it on the front flank. From now on, your entire wardrobe will be subordinated to one single goal called "Emphasize the chest and let all living things die!". Believe me, if you choose the right dress, then all males will follow you like hypnotized banderlogs, and they won’t even turn their heads towards some skinny model with two flat “higher educations”. By the way, it would also be nice to visually separate the waist from the shoulders and hips. To do this, use corrective underwear, since its choice is now huge.
In addition to the wardrobe, you will most likely also have to change your hairstyle, including your current hair color and style. To work for sure, it is better to contact a competent stylist, he will select the perfect option for you. In this case, it is better not to rely on your own strength.
How to behave?And now the most important thing: in order to never again wonder why you are unlucky with men, turn inside out, but make sure that when meeting you, the candidate for the knights of your heart feels that he is in front of him soft, playful, but with this inaccessible and 100% self-confident panther. Be kind to him, but with restraint. Talk less about yourself and ask more questions. All your movements should be slow and smooth, no sharpness. During the conversation, look him straight in the eyes and nod your head more often, regardless of whether you understand the topic in question or not. This simple trick will help him see you as a like-minded person and he will decide that you are the woman who can always understand him.
After a date, let yourself be seen, but God save you from jumping into his bed after the first meeting. Keep him at a distance and never call first, no matter how much you want to. Let him know that, in principle, you like him, but you have not yet finally decided anything for yourself. If at the beginning of the acquaintance he realizes that you are crazy about him, he will immediately lose interest in you. The genetic memory of men is much stronger than ours, and it will constantly remind your hero that 
that he is a hunter, and game that was killed without much difficulty is usually of no value.
Remember, you are now worth $1,000,000, and if you do everything right, it is quite possible that very soon you will go to the bridal salon to choose the dress of your dreams, and with the air of an expert you will tell your girlfriends looking at you with envy about what to do. if they are unlucky in love. If you don’t make mistakes again ... But let’s hope this doesn’t happen and life will fully reward you for your endurance and courage, and this last phrase will begin to be written together for you very soon.
"Why can't I have relationships with men? Well, what else do they need? Pretty, hostess, sexy, there is a living space. But after the first date, he disappears forever. Yes, I'm taciturn, I prefer to listen. But many people like it. No, they need a broken lover to drink, have fun, and then they disappear too. What to do? How to get married? Especially since I'm already 45. "
Unfortunately, in the search for love, most people lose sight of their own willingness or unwillingness to be in a relationship. There is an old saying: "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." This proverb also applies to love relationships - when you are ready, love will appear.
Surprisingly, although love is an integral part of our lives, and we constantly strive for it, many people subconsciously try to move it away from themselves.
For example, a woman may not realize that she does not have a generous, loving man because, deep down, she is afraid of being abandoned. She may also reject beautiful men, fearing that an interesting appearance will attract other women, and as a result she will lose her lover.
We convey our thoughts and feelings to people much more often than we think or even dream! If you think: “I’m not beautiful enough”, “I will never love”, “he is too good for me”, “men are incapable of a serious relationship”, then this message is transmitted to the people around.
For example, if you yourself avoid serious relationships, responsibility, you will be attracted to people with similar attitudes or partners with whom, for one reason or another, it is impossible to build a serious relationship, for example, married, infantile, too loving, etc.
We get exactly what we broadcast to other people
If, with all our desire to love, we are the embodiment of sadness, longing and disappointment, then these are the feelings we will receive in return. Our partner is always a confirmation of our opinion about ourselves. If your personal life is not working out, think about the following questions:
**_- What messages do you send to people in the world around you?
- What messages do you need to send in order to get what you want in return? _**
This task is not easy, because the difficulty lies in the fact that our attitudes can lie deep in the subconscious.
Interestingly, the desires of our unconscious sometimes directly conflict with our conscious intentions. A striking example of such a conflict is a letter from another of our readers.
"Hello. I'm already over 40, my personal life does not add up, although men like me, but I attract pathological personalities all the time. With others, only light novels.
My husband was pathologically jealous and often beat me with or without reason. Dispersed. Then - a young man, it turned out that he was in prison, an unbridled womanizer, as a result he left me. The common-law husband, all seemingly positive, turned out to be an alcoholic and a gamer. Looks like it's up to me. I don't drink, I don't fight, I don't play, I don't hang around at night. I have been working all my life, now I am raising a little daughter.
What should I do? How to meet a normal person without addictions? What is my problem?"
The irony is that people are almost always dissatisfied with what they are looking for, since their unconscious self has one goal and their conscious self another.
No matter how high and romantic goals we set for ourselves, we always choose partners exactly those whom we are ready to accept at this moment in life.
The connection between two people is not a matter of luck or failure, it is an absolute reflection of your emotional state, it is your mirror. Sometimes crooked. You get what you want!
How can we understand ourselves and understand what we really broadcast to other people, and why we find ourselves not at all where we wanted, and not with those we dream of?
To do this, you need to get a real picture of what is happening in our personal lives. To see your unconscious without embellishment, you need to look back and see what partners you have dealt with before.
Try to make a list of people with whom you have had a serious love relationship.
Opposite each name, write the most negative characteristics of this person - that is, all the qualities that were personally unpleasant for you. Pay special attention to those qualities that are the same for different partners. Make a separate list of these qualities. This will be the portrait of your unconscious dream man.
Our subconscious, making such a "strange" choice, tries to reproduce the emotional situation already experienced in childhood, even if the consequences are negative. For any child, a home is a source of love and security. Even if chaos reigns in it. Therefore, we associate love with the word home.
It is easier for our brain to return to a familiar situation than to adapt to a new one. This is where the craving for pathological personalities, men who are unable to create a family, infantile, cruel, etc., comes from. Try to analyze the situation that is happening now in your life based on the hit parade of your partners' "merits" and find relationships with the past.
Do you feel like you have returned to your childhood home?
For example, one of the participants in the training, who performed this exercise, was horrified to find that all her men, like two drops of water, resembled her cousin, with whom she had constant conflicts and a struggle for the love of her parents in her childhood.
She grew up, and the struggle with her brother continued (albeit in other incarnations), having a negative impact on her personal life!
Having understood our negative emotional program, we can change our relationships by building them consciously. But for this to happen, you need not only to change yourself, but also to understand why you need a relationship with another person. Otherwise, the situation described in the following letter may occur.
"Hello! Help me, please, in solving my problem. I am 21 years old, and my personal life does not work out in any way. I am a very sociable person, especially with the opposite sex. A lot of men pay attention to me. But as soon as I understand that I start to really like a person, I try in every possible way to cause him suffering: flirt with everyone in a row, ignore him, answer rudely, even if I really like him. I'm constantly in a circle and I can't get out of it. I suffer a lot from this, but I can't help myself. Why am I behaving like this?"
The way we express ourselves and interact with the people around us can reveal a lot about our true desires. Often we do not achieve the goal, because as soon as there is a real opportunity to really get what we want (and not just fantasize about this topic), all deeply hidden feelings and problems surface.
We have already talked about why it is not possible to attract love into your life, dealt with the obstacles that prevent you from building a happy relationship. Another factor in dissatisfaction with personal life is the inability to determine their true desires and goals. As long as the future is uncertain, it does not allow us to work on something real that exists in life. That is, it cannot be realized!
When there is no love in our lives, we often fantasize about how wonderful it would be if we met the perfect partner. Most often, these fantasies are based on romantic myths about love and relationships, the scenarios for the development of which we receive from literature and cinema.
However, staying in the safe world of fantasy, we often forget about our internal reaction to such a person. In fact, if we meet the perfect person, various fears and jealousy can push us away from him.
"It all started for me 3 years ago. I met a girl whom I fell in love with. But the thing is that she became a high-level model, and I feel like such a freak. We have different levels. I wish that we did not see each other , and she calls, writes SMS. I want to die. Well, or just forget her, but she won't let me do it. What should I do?"
One day a woman came to me for a consultation who had recently married the man of her dreams. He was smart, powerful and successful, he loved and adored her. In general, everything is as she dreamed. Do you think she came beaming with happiness? She was depressed and sad.
When she got what she wanted, she found herself experiencing anxiety, a feeling she had never experienced before: “If this man is so good, then why did he choose me? He is so successful that there are always women around him who are much prettier than me. What if he leaves me for someone else? - these are the thoughts spinning in her head.
Under the influence of these thoughts, she, without hesitation, did things that harmed the relationship and subsequently could even destroy them. A similar situation occurs with the authors of the two previous letters, only each does it in his own way. That is, they wanted to experience love and security, but it turns out that inside there is only fear and anxiety.
What to do? Either change yourself, or set other goals in a love relationship that are more appropriate for the level of personality development. Otherwise, it turns out that the better the partner, the worse we feel!
Often the requirements for a partner are formulated as follows: handsome, smart, rich, etc. And as a result, having a partner with all these qualities, we still do not feel satisfied.