You broke up with your love. It seems that a lot of time had already passed, and you yourself thought that it was for the best, and you already had new novels after him, but suddenly, at an unkind hour, from mutual friends of yours, on the Internet, or when you ran into your former lover, you find out that he got married. That's it, sometimes this is enough for many girls to immerse themselves in. This is aggravated even more if at the moment you yourself are unmarried, and there is no gentleman now. Against your will, trying to appear as indifferent as possible, you begin to ask for details about the newlyweds’ marital happiness. On the Internet you find their happy photos and open your heart wounds even more by looking at them.

STOP!!! This is where you need to stop so as not to get bogged down in the abyss of despair and blues.

First, think about what you are worried about. Yes, many girls, after breaking up with their loved one, still have a glimmer of hope that he still remembers you and misses you. Subconsciously, most of us perceive our exes as an “alternate airfield” to which we can return if anything happens. “So what if he meets someone else, takes a walk, realizes that he can’t find anyone better than me, and comes back.” And the news of the ex’s marriage, of course, destroys all these illusory hopes.

But think about it, are you worried that you lost it? But he was no longer yours. You lost him already then, in the past, and now he is a stranger to you. It is impossible to lose something that never belonged to you. Another reason for your frustration may be your wounded pride. Despite all the reasonable arguments, it’s still a shame that they found a replacement for you. And it’s a shame that it wasn’t you who was offered a hand and a heart. If at this stage you also have problems in your personal life, then you feel really sorry for yourself.

So how to survive this unpleasant event - the marriage of your ex?

1. Do not be tempted to find out the details of his family life, no matter how much you might want to.

2. Do not analyze this event, do not remember his relationship with you. All the same, you will not be able to objectively assess this situation now based on your emotions. Just tell yourself: “I’ll think about it later, when I’m in a good mood, my loved one will be nearby.”

3. Remember that you already experienced this separation once, the heavens did not collapse. And now it will be even easier for you to do this.

4. Remember all the good things that happened to you after breaking up with him. After all, this might not have happened if you were together.

5. Think about what good traits you would like to see now in your chosen one, and which your former lover did not have.

6. His wedding to another once again convinces that this was not your person, but your destiny is somewhere on the way to you. After all, “the faster the stranger leaves, the faster the dear one will come.”

And most importantly, do not cling to the past, do not live someone else’s life, take advantage of yourself, and the time will come when you will remember these experiences with a smile.

If you are in a relationship with your ex, you will inevitably find out that he/she is getting married. How should you behave after learning this news?

Imagine that you are scrolling through your news feed on Facebook, there is nothing interesting there, but suddenly a familiar name, one that you used to often say. Your ex-other half with news about a new event in life. Your paths diverged a long time ago, but still a feeling arises in your soul that is difficult to describe. Jealousy? Bitterness? Genuine joy? You're not sure, but you're starting to wonder what to do in a situation where your ex is getting married/marry?

Ex Married?!.

Today, especially for this occasion, we have prepared for you 9 tips that you need to keep in mind if your ex-partner getting married or gets married. If this news doesn't bother you at all, then that's great - live your life and don't look back!!! But if this hurts you or this news makes you “slightly” nervous, then read on.

Thanks to technology, news travels very quickly. Thanks to these same technologies, it has become very easy to find out about events in the lives of other people, especially former partners. So how should you behave in this case? How to cope with this news?

Some tips for when your ex gets married:

# 1 It's okay if you feel anxious. You were once the love of this person's life, so it's normal if you still have some feelings towards him. And you may not want to be the bride/groom yourself at the moment. But such feelings arise because you once also imagined yourself standing in front of the altar with this person.

If you still have feelings for your ex, it's normal to feel jealous or sad. This means that the feelings have not died. But one day you would find that you have failed in your relationship. He or she deserves to be happy. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better.

# 2 Congratulate your ex if you are still in contact. Not all breakups end with people completely ignoring each other. The number of couples who remain friends after breaking up has increased. If you're friends on Facebook or still in touch, call your ex/her and ask how they're doing and say congratulations. Knowing that you are understanding about the new marriage can take a load off his/her soul.

# 3 Discuss the news that your ex is getting married with close friends. It's better if these people know your ex. If you feel angry or jealous, speak up. Friends will be able to comfort you and give you some advice on how to get through it and move on. However, if the upcoming wedding is not an issue for you, then you can simply mention it and move on to more interesting topics.

# 4 Avoid negative comments. Those who still have certain feelings for their ex will find it difficult to resist making negative comments towards the new bride/groom. Maybe he/she is not as good as you, but be that as it may, you will look pathetic and offended, scolding your ex-partner's new passion. Even if you think that you are much better than your ex-partner's future spouse, then keep this opinion to yourself. You don't want to get in trouble if the future newlyweds suddenly find out that you are gossiping behind their backs.

# 5 There is no need to talk about this event, that your ex is getting married, to your current partner. You can express all your grievances to your friends, but your partner is a completely different story. Emotional statements about a future wedding may make him/her feel insecure and make him/her feel like you are still lovingly attached to your ex. Our advice: keep this information to yourself, or if you really can’t, then mention it in passing.

Hello, please help me, I just can’t cope with myself. The situation is this, we met a guy several years ago, the love was very strong (at least I have for him), I did everything for him, he was involved in professional sports, I cooked him different dishes (especially for athletes) while he was sleeping in the morning , I ran to the store before the institute to prepare breakfast for him, often bought everything with my own money (since we were students, my parents supported me financially quite well, but his parents did not have such an opportunity, so I turned a blind eye because I practically support him), we went on vacation with my parents’ money, I even bought him things, because... there were constant trips to training camps, he was not doing well with his studies, I rewrote lectures for him, if only he would go to the institute and show them so that they could give him a test, but sometimes he could not even get up in the morning to take these notebooks. I lived in some kind of illusion that he was a super person, and he was simply having a hard time in life. Then he started having problems with sports, he stopped winning fights, and then I felt sorry for him, but against this background he became depressed and started using some kind of pharmaceuticals, at first I couldn’t understand anything about what was wrong with him until I saw all this .. then he began to behave inappropriately and react to my various actions, did not let me go anywhere, said that only prostitutes go everywhere and normal girls should stay at home.. then I still went to a friend’s birthday party in a club, he went around all the clubs in the city and found me and literally pulled me out of there by the hair.. in the morning, as usual, I started writing him SMS so that he would forgive me for going there.. he said you’re scum and I don’t want to communicate with you.. and then I was wedged, it was as if my eyes had opened... I completely stopped all communication with him... and after 2 months an epic began that lasted 2 years... he wrote, forgive me, I understood everything, how I behaved and what a fool I was, I love only you, etc., he looked for me everywhere. As soon as I changed my phone, he immediately recognized him, he talked with my mother, he almost hanged himself.. and then.. he got married, and stopped all attempts to get me back. everything would be fine, but I constantly dream about him, dreams are like in reality, I even physically feel everything, I saw him recently and that’s it... it’s as if there is no one around, I can’t help myself, it seems to me that we should have been together anyway, very much A lot has been experienced and a lot of effort has been spent on it. In general, I’m also dating a guy now, but when I dream about him or see him, I can’t help myself and constantly cry. .maybe it’s just some kind of feeling in me that he didn’t marry me and everything is fine with him now, but I somehow remained like that..after all this, it seems to me that the feeling of love for others has been undermined in me..I don’t know how to stop thinking about him, try to find out something about how he and his wife live now, etc.. and start moving on with their own lives

The ex is the same man you broke up with, who broke your heart and for whom you shed a lot of tears. Time passed and here it is, a miracle, he wrote: “Hello! How are you doing?" And the woman’s heart trembled: “He realized what a treasure he had lost! He bit his elbows, knees and heels and finally appreciated me! I’m his queen and he loves me!” This is what women think (not all, of course, but the vast majority), but what actually happens?

Previously, in order to, you had to lift your butt and come home to it. Later, this process became much more accessible and easier; you just had to dial the coveted number on your cell phone and chat. Now you don’t have to stress at all; in any messenger or social network you type “Hello!” from the phone, and that's it. At this point the courtship process can be considered complete. And if a man also sends a bouquet with a smiley face, then it’s generally happiness. So, why is he writing (keyword: he didn’t come, he didn’t even call, he’s just writing, his ex).

Option one. Because it's boring

The most common case when an ex writes is simple boredom. At home, your wife or new girlfriend has prepared cabbage soup, TV shows nonsense as usual, the beer has been drunk, there is a snowstorm outside, it’s boring. And so, wandering around the vast expanses of the Internet, he accidentally finds her and remembers her existence. Why not chat before your wife covers all correspondence with a copper basin? It’s just boring to such an extent that non-binding communication with your ex is quite suitable. Again, nostalgia...

Option two. Because it's interesting

Sometimes it’s just interesting, from a cognitive perspective, how does she live there? What is he doing? Maybe she drank herself to death from grief? Or, on the contrary, did you get into weightlifting? Or does the one and only me still suffer? Most often, exes try to find out if the girl has a new man, and if not, the evening was a success. Sometimes there is nothing wrong in the ex’s head at all, I just wonder how she lives, with what, with whom, why? It’s like looking at pages in Odnoklassniki.

Option three. Boast of

It turns out that men are also very, especially they like to “fluff their tail” in front of their ex-girlfriends. Especially if she left him herself, but if he also fled into the sunset, then that’s okay too. Men quite often deliberately look for their ex on the Internet, only to show her photographs of their new car or their new girlfriend or themselves, “photoshopped”, with six-pack abs and a brutal chin to boot. Only those men whose dignity was once hurt by a girl are capable of writing: “Hello!” and then casually boasting of their real and imaginary victories. So a simple “hello” is more likely a stupid revenge than a desire to communicate with a former love.

Option four. Need free sex

In general, it’s practically a win-win option. It’s evening, it’s boring, there’s no money for a nightclub where you can pick up a girl, or a cafe where you can invite a new girl, or for paid love. Or maybe you don’t want to bother like that, or maybe you have neither the money nor the desire to do anything at all. Therefore, from the endless list of “ex”, the most accessible one is found and they write to her: “Hello!” And then two or three words about how bored he is (in the best version) or just the sentence “Come to me, I’m sad.” And that’s it, the trick is in the bag, the evening stops being so boring and monotonous. And yes, if one ex refused, then there will always be another ex who, overjoyed to the point of madness, will rush to the “Prince Charming” into the night.

Option five. Raise your self-esteem

There is nothing better for a man than for a woman who has suffered for him for a long time. And although men never directly talk about this out loud, they love to casually throw out phrases like: “Three years have passed since we broke up, and she’s still alone,” “She’s getting married soon, but she still writes to me.” “,” “After we parted with her, she went to a monastery,” “She got married and gave birth to three children, but she still loves me exclusively!”

And it is precisely during periods of slight doubt about his irresistibility (he had a fight with his wife, the girl refused, the date fell through, the new mistress sent to heaven for a star) that a man, lying on the sofa, remembers that he has Masha! Former Masha, who is ready to shed tears for him forever! And to make sure of his own irresistibility, uniqueness and irreplaceability, the man finds Masha and writes to her: “Hello!”

And making sure that they are still suffering for him, he smacks his lips with satisfaction and falls asleep in the peaceful sleep of the baby. Until a new mental crisis, the former Masha can also sleep peacefully.

Option six. I don't know why

But the most popular option for why an ex is writing is: “HZ.” The ex himself doesn’t know why the hell he’s writing to his ex-girlfriend. It just “wrote” itself and that’s it. And to be honest, he doesn’t care what’s going on in his ex’s soul. Most often, the “I don’t know why” option happens when you’re drunk, and falls into the category of thoughtless antics such as drunkenly singing Leps’ songs or squatting dances.

And where is love in these options?

Ecology of life. Psychology: An ex-girlfriend is getting married to another man, the ex-husband began to have great success in business without you, a friend with whom you had a fight not so long ago, in every possible way...

From time to time it happens that we receive news of serious changes in the life of a person who was recently close to us.

Your ex-girlfriend is marrying another man, your ex-husband began to have great success in business without you, your friend, with whom you had a fight not so long ago, shows in every possible way with her life that she is happy without you, the young man promised all the best to you, but left for another and it is with her that your common dreams come true, the wife left for a rich man and travels with him all over the world, everyone eventually had children.

This happens in life, and, believe me, quite often.

The first reaction in most cases is shock and unwillingness to accept what is happening.“So what if he marries, he still won’t be happy”, “oh, she gave birth to a child, but he’ll leave her anyway”, “ahh, no, no, this can’t be true, I can’t live without him” , “she left and is happy without me, this is the end.”

No, this is not the end, this is either a chance to get a new start in your life, or to ruin it, which you will greatly regret later. You shouldn’t try with all your might to bring a man or woman back from a “new” life without you, don’t devalue what is happening, don’t look at his life through a magnifying glass, but deal with yourself first. Let's look at the issue in more detail.

Firstly, I hope, Don’t you think that everything in the world is arranged in a completely random way? I write a lot about this, I’ll repeat it again - if you need a relationship to close the inner emptiness, it will always end, because life should bring you back to yourself, make you find balance, discover the source of happiness within yourself.

We are always in the best conditions for the growth of our soul, so there may be dozens of reasons for your separation from a loved one:

• both are immature and do not contribute to each other’s growth, but only degradation,
• you give up fulfilling your destiny in favor of immersing yourself in the world of another person,
• life needs to separate you so that separately you can go through those lessons that you cannot go through together,
• and don’t be surprised if in a few years life brings you together again,

oh, you never know there are many scenarios in life. It seems to us that it all depends on us, but after all the stories we have heard and read, I can tell you for sure that There are situations that are absolutely inexplicable from the point of view of common sense. And the higher your level of development and potential, the more serious the lessons.

Secondly, if you are so sensitive to what is happening in your ex-partner's life, it means that "debts" have not been repaid and the connection is not closed, we need to look for reasons. In most cases, unfriendly separations, when one partner simply breaks off the relationship, leaves for another person without explanation, unexpectedly announcing his decision, is very painful for the second person in the couple, and this needs to be understood. If you were abandoned, then this decision was made and matured within the one who left for some time, and he turned out to be prepared for this state of affairs much better than you. It will take you some time to cope with this situation, it is not fatal but it is painful, that's true. The one who walks will master the road.

Partings between two people who have given each other everything they could and have outgrown this union usually happen quite peacefully, with understanding and acceptance of the position of the one who decided to leave. Calmness and gratitude for what happened, wishes for happiness on the further part of the journey, a slightly open door that you can always knock on if any of you need help or support. Painful separations and great suffering after them are most often associated not with great love, but with strong dependence on another person and the spiritual immaturity of both. From the point of view of all sorts of lofty matters, a suffering person pays off some of his debts to the souls of other people, and we grow in our suffering, where can we go? “Dying” without another person, you shift the responsibility for your own happiness onto him, but I’ll tell you a secret that no one is responsible for it except you. If you sit and wait for someone to come and do the inner work for you, you risk missing out on life. Don't miss it!

Yes, we need a man or a woman to create a family, give birth and raise children, but What can we build with someone who doesn’t want to be near us? Is it possible to force a person to be near you? The best things to do when breaking up(in fact, this should be done BEFORE meeting another), so go and change, blossom, find your true selves, in order to ultimately understand whether I really need that other one who left, or whether now I have enough strength to build a new life without him?

Fourthly,"Love in itself is not a good enough reason to be together. After all, you don't live with everyone you love" (this is from "Seeds for the Soul" by Chuck Hilling). If someone leaves you or comes, behaves in some bad way or behaves very well, how can all this affect what is happening in your heart? Doesn't it seem absurd to you that the reasons for loving another person (so to speak) are not in your heart, but in his behavior and attitude towards you? Yes, you don't have to allow yourself to be treated poorly, but your feelings live WITHIN you, not in the other person. To love a person more than the actions that he performs, to understand that he has his own path and his own lessons, and he has the right to them. Love so much, what difference does it make whether this person is nearby or happy somewhere else.

• If he is not happy with you, that’s good, what else can you wish for your loved one?
• And if you fall into grief because he is happy with someone else, is this about love? Or about the desire to own?

Fifthly, love is something that always stays with you, it cannot disappear when another person leaves, you do not lose anything, you cannot lose anything.

Love is something that you must learn, something that you must discover in your heart, because if you have learned to dance with one partner, after some time you will be able to start a new dance with another. Yes, it will take some time to get out of the habit, but it can be overcome. Suffering occurs when it seems to us that another person has resources that cannot be discovered in ourselves or found in another person. But they exist both in ourselves and in other people. Live through the states that come into your life, outgrow your attachments, let go of yourself and the one who chose to continue their path without you, don’t get stuck on your immaturity! Got married? Good luck to him! Got married? Well, it’s wonderful to suffer. When breaking up, try to do everything in your power to keep the person, and if he cannot or does not want to stay, then let him go. Keep your palms open.