How to please a future son-in-law. Meeting the future mother-in-law is an exam

30.06.2019

Loving parents are always interested in who their "child" communicates with and is friends with. If the son or daughter has already grown up, and the time has come for them to start their own family, mom and dad will certainly express a desire to get to know the chosen one better. Young people know that sooner or later, acquaintance with the girl's parents and other family members will take place. But the event itself does not become less exciting from this. Of course, any guy wants to please the loved ones of his chosen one. Our tips will help make a good impression on the bride's parents when they first meet.

Preparing the meeting

Today, the traditions of matchmaking have survived only in the villages. Modern young people introduce their parents to their brides or grooms, simply inviting them to visit. There is another scenario for the development of events - a meeting in a cafe or restaurant. If in the first case, the chores fall on the shoulders of the hostess of the house, then in the second, the guy can take over the organization of the event. For many girls, the opinion of the father and mother plays an important role, therefore, the development of relations in the future will depend on how the acquaintance with the parents of your bride goes.

It is better to prepare for the meeting in advance. To know how to behave, what to talk about, what gifts to present, ask the girl about her parents. Having found out in advance what these people do, where they work, how they have fun, it will be possible to think in advance about topics for conversation at the first meeting. It is useful to ask how your chosen one's mom and dad feel about the prospect of her marriage. You should only meet with your parents if your intentions towards the girl are serious and you plan to live together.

Do I need to give gifts

Meeting the bride's parents is a great reason to leave a good impression of you. In this case, you cannot do without presents. You should not buy expensive souvenirs for the first acquaintance, but cheap trinkets are not suitable for such an occasion either. it is better to choose in the middle price category. Ask your girlfriend for help, she knows her parents better and it will be easier for her to choose a suitable surprise.

Let's make a reservation right away that flowers are not a gift. Bouquets are presented to the ladies present as a sign of attention. But confectionery in gift wrapping will become a wonderful souvenir for mom, grandmother or sister of your chosen one.
The hostess will also be pleased with stylish interior items: a beautiful dish, a tray, a teapot.
For such an occasion, original handmade gifts are good, for example, an album for a photo using the scrapbooking technique, cutting boards with painting or decoupage.
The father can be presented with car accessories, fishing accessories, a storage box for tools, a high-quality organizer.

The selection of gifts is an individual process, everything here depends on the situation and character of the person to whom the gift is intended. If you have common interests, a suitable surprise will allow you to find common ground.

Appearance

Getting to know your parents is not an official event, so donning a suit and tie is not necessary at all. However, going to a meeting in an overly extravagant outfit is also not worth it. Older people can be shocked by current fashion trends. Classic style is a win-win option. It is always up-to-date and looks presentable. Jeans or trousers with a pullover or shirt will suit the situation. You can also wear a jacket if you feel comfortable in it.

When meeting a girl's parents, it is important to give the impression of a serious person, so attention should be paid not only to clothes. The hairstyle should be neat and the hair clean. The use of cologne or eau de toilette is perfectly acceptable, but its smell should not be intrusive. You should not go to meet your parents after a sleepless night or a stormy party, this can be regarded incorrectly. If you are working on a computer, use drops to eliminate redness of the sclera.

How to approach a girl's mom and dad

Parents, when they first met their daughter's chosen one, evaluate him in many ways. Therefore, you will have to try to win them over. Come to the rescue here compliments... For a start, you’ve heard a lot of good things about father and mother from your girlfriend. The heart of any woman will be melted by pleasant words about her appearance. The man will be conquered by the recognition of his success. And of course, parents will be happy to know that they have raised a beautiful daughter.

Meeting parents - how to behave during a meeting

Before meeting the “close ones” of your chosen one, ask the girl what the name of her parents is. If future relatives at the beginning of their acquaintance do not express any other desire, they should be addressed by name and patronymic. When accepting an invitation to visit, ask who else will be present. Try not to ignore the older or younger family members.

Drinking alcohol at the table is a very sensitive issue. Many fear that the offer of a drink by the bride's father is some kind of test of the future son-in-law. Of course, such an option is not ruled out, but perhaps it is really not customary in the family to hold feasts without wine. Then the owners will rather be alerted by your refusal.

Behave naturally, but maintain restraint and composure. If you are a heavy smoker, try not to show it when you first meet your parents. In any case, running out with a cigarette every half hour is definitely not worth it. If she has prepared a feast to meet you, pay tribute to her culinary talents by tasting a little of all the dishes.

First impression

It would be naive to expect that the first time you meet your parents you will win their hearts. A wary attitude will persist for a while. But the impression you made will form the basis of your future relationship with the girl's family. If communication does not work out from the very beginning, it will take a long time to seek mutual understanding. Try to be confident, even if you're very anxious. Stick to the rules of etiquette, but do not overdo it so as not to be considered a bore.

Rules of conduct when meeting parents

Introduce yourself to the girl's father and mother, note that you are very pleased to meet.
Do not rush to reach out to your dad, according to the rules of etiquette, this should be done by an older person.
First, hand the flowers to the women, then pass the prepared presents to all family members.
Most likely, the owners will offer you to look at the apartment. Be sure to note that the home is cozy and tasteful.

Sitting at the table, follow the simple requirements prescribed by etiquette:

groom the ladies by helping them pour wine or put salad on a plate;
use the proposed cloth, spread it on your lap;
if the first course was served at the table, it should not be eaten to the last drop;
use cutlery correctly;
do not talk with your mouth full and do not laugh too loudly.

Neutral topics are good for keeping the conversation going. If appropriate, you can tell a funny life story or anecdote.

Communication rules

Acquaintance means communication between people. Of course, different generations do not have too many common topics for conversation, but you still have to find them. An excellent occasion for discussion is a hobby of the bride's parents, a recent trip, attending a film or performance premiere. The information provided by your beloved will be very useful here.

By stepping the conversation in the right direction, turn into an attentive and interested listener.
Try not to interrupt the interlocutor, support the conversation with short questions and phrases of approval.
Treat the girl's parents with respect, like people of the older generation.
You should not show sarcasm in relation to what was said, joke, and even more so make fun of the point of view of another person.

As you can see, communication with parents is built according to the same laws as with other people who you want to like.

Parent questions

The first thing the girl's parents ask about when they first meet is the seriousness of your intentions. Of course, mother and father will be pleased to know that their daughter is loved and that you are planning to start a family. But if you are not ready to discuss the date of the wedding yet, do not rush with promises to be there forever. Life may well change, then your words will look like false promises.

Directly interested in the material condition of the future son-in-law, the girl's parents are unlikely to become. But leading questions will surely be asked. Do not be misled by assuring that you are a completely successful and wealthy person, if this is far from the case. It is better to honestly admit that your income is not too high yet, but the family is a great incentive to strive for more. Perhaps all parents of boys and girls start talking about grandchildren. If you are not yet ready to discuss this topic, you can gently and delicately report it.

Stop dating topics

Each of us has our own painful topics, the mention of which will be unpleasant. It is better to find out about such negative moments in advance, so as not to accidentally touch them in a conversation. Discussion of material problems, issues with materialistic overtones are considered unacceptable. Even if you are going to get married, it is unlikely that parents will be delighted with talk about a dowry, even comic ones.

It is undesirable to discuss with the girl's parents:

politics or religion,
negative facts from their or their past,
the flaws of your chosen one,
details of the life of mutual acquaintances.

Some parents may show interest in your first meeting with their daughter. It is better to discuss the version with your girlfriend in advance, perhaps she has already told her mom and dad her version, in which the nightclub has turned into a library, and the joint drinking of cocktails into an intelligent conversation. In any case, it will be superfluous to delve into intimate details. It's doubtful that parents would be pleased to hear that you were seduced by the ultra short mini worn by their daughter.

Completion of the acquaintance

Leaving in time is also an art. You should not run away immediately after lunch or tea. However, a visit is unnecessary for a long time. Choose the right moment when your parents will have plenty of conversation with you, get answers to their questions, and let them know that you want to leave. Say goodbye politely and thank you for your hospitality. Note that you felt very comfortable at home thanks to the efforts of the host. Let them know that you were happy to meet the parents of your beloved.

Sooner or later in a relationship, there comes a time when you need to get to know the girl's parents. From the article you will learn how to avoid mistakes, what not to do, and what you need to pay special attention to, what to talk about, and what is better to keep silent about.

Appearance to meet the girl's parents

The first meeting requires separate preparation. After all, it is known that they are greeted by their clothes, so it is worth starting with them. Getting to know your parents still presupposes adherence to certain principles. Of course, it is not necessary to wear a formal suit, the main thing is to look beautiful and neat, the appearance must be neat and clean.

When choosing clothes, a lot depends on the place of acquaintance:

home furnishings... If the meeting takes place at home, a simple plain T-shirt or sweater with jeans is ideal. Forget about ripped pants, T-shirts, wrinkled shirts and other fashion attributes that are incomprehensible to the older generation.
Rest at nature... Shorts, a T-shirt or a T-shirt and flip flops will be appropriate here in the summer. For cool evenings, it is better to give preference to all the same jeans, a cardigan or a light sweater, or, if you plan to stand near a fire, a tracksuit.
In a cafe, restaurant... For catering places, you can prepare a beautiful shirt in black or white colors, formal trousers or dark jeans.

Additionally, you should pay attention to the following points. Tidy up your hands, shave, comb your hair, trim your nails. A pleasant and well-groomed appearance will help to achieve the location of the parents of your beloved girl. Funny as it may seem, guys sometimes completely forget about everything, except perhaps the hairstyle.

Even if everyone you know says that this perfume smells great, you shouldn't water yourself from head to toe. A light, subtle trail of scent will surely please both parents and the girl.

Do not forget that such a wardrobe detail as shoes is always paid attention. It should be polished, tidy and suitable for the chosen garment. If it is raining outside, it will not be superfluous to bring wet wipes with you to tidy up your shoes before entering the room.

Many parents add up their idea of a potential groom for their daughter long before they meet. After all, the girl must have told them about the guy. And this performance is not always good. The appearance will help not to disappoint them right from the door.

How to create a good impression on parents

Even if initially something went wrong, or the parents did not have the best opinion in advance, the first meeting and close acquaintance can change the situation. To do this, you must follow a few tips:

Meeting time... Make an appointment with the girl in advance when her parents want to host you. You should never be late, so plan ahead. A lot of people are annoyed by non-punctuality. So already before you arrive, you can add a certain negative note. Also, do not come too early, because the hosts may not have time to prepare for the reception. Believe me, the girl's parents are just as worried and want everything to be perfect, give them time for this.
Prepare small gifts... The first acquaintance with the girl's parents will show a positive attitude, attention and good tone on the part of the potential groom. Remember the present must be relevant and appropriate to the event. For the girl's mother, you can buy her favorite flowers or a small thing that she likes (a small figurine to protect the house, a poster with a photo of their family, funny family cups). If it is difficult to choose a suitable gift, then you can choose a proven option - a delicious cake or a box of chocolates. A bottle of good wine will not hurt, of course, if the family does not have any special beliefs about alcoholic beverages. Flowers are an essential attribute for a first acquaintance.
Practice good manners... Parents will definitely pay attention to behavior. Introduce yourself, shake your father's hand and present flowers to your mother. Remember that kissing the hand of a woman in such a situation is not appropriate, so it is better to postpone such familiarity for a more suitable occasion.
Tactfulness in behavior... Never wander around the house by yourself or enter rooms that you have not been invited to. This behavior can look quite strange, and a person with a good upbringing will never allow himself this. If alcoholic beverages are drunk at the table, then you can make a toast to the owners of the house and thank them for their hospitality. Such little things play a huge role, because when they first meet, parents pay attention to virtually everything.
Household help... This is an additional plus in the characteristic. After your meal, offer to help move the dishes and be sure to thank for the food you cooked.
Assess the situation soberly... Even if from the first time it seemed that the parents were not delighted with communication, then you should not panic and close in yourself. Try to understand what exactly caused this reaction. Only showing interest, a kind attitude and a desire to communicate will help to correct the situation.

If you wish, you can make a return invitation and spend time together. It is worth noting that such things cannot be avoided, as they bring together perfectly. Communication with the girl's parents will also benefit the couple.

What to talk about when meeting your parents

At the first meeting, parents pay maximum attention to what the young man says, what he thinks about at the time of the conversation, how he gets out of awkward situations. Don't get lost, even if your parents start asking provocative questions or you run out of topics for communication.

In order for the conversation to work, it is necessary to adhere to these tips when meeting the girl's parents:

Stop being shy and close in yourself... Remove any doubts from your head, fear and nervousness can be transmitted to everyone else, which will negatively affect the general atmosphere.
Be confident in your speeches... Parents will closely observe behavior and listen to every word. A man's core should be felt in a conversation, because a guy is always responsible for his words and actions.
Support the proposed topic of conversation or suggest your own... It is considered harmless to talk about plans for the future, work or study, goals achieved, sports or your favorite hobby. It will be just great if the guy takes the initiative and asks the parents about their daughter, what she was like as a child and what she did. So the conversation will definitely not come to a standstill and turn into a fascinating conversation. When meeting parents, questions must be posed correctly, they cannot even contain a note of reproach or discontent. Remember that in some cases it is best to remain silent and just listen politely.
Don't be rude... Communication rules include various points, but this is one of the most important. Even if a young man likes to make fun of his soul mate and sarcastically, it is better to postpone it for later. Parents may simply not understand this treatment. In addition, not all people can have a subtle and good sense of humor to appreciate a joke, and the easiest and most harmless joke can be perceived as disrespect.
A positive attitude and a smile are the keys to success... Make your speeches as optimistic and positive as possible. Do not forget about a smile - it is a universal way to improve relationships. The rules for dating a girl's parents welcome this approach. However, it is important not to overdo it, otherwise the guy's behavior may be perceived incorrectly, he will be considered too superficial.
Follow your gaze... Maintain eye contact and look into your eyes, occasionally looking away. Such behavior suggests that a person has nothing to hide and be ashamed of. In addition, not everyone can look directly in the eyes.
Follow the rules of gestures... Always adhere to the "golden mean": do not cross your arms in front of you, try not to close, turn your body so that it is directed towards your parents. This will show the mood for communication and interest. Some people think that such little things are not important, but this is far from the case. Psychological components affect a person even without his desire.
Be honest... Honesty is one of the most important qualities we look for in people. Therefore, in no case should you deceive your parents at the first meeting. Everyone loves honesty in any situation. Even if a person knows how to lie very well, in most cases the truth comes out, albeit after a certain period of time. The most naive and petty lie can spoil the impression for a long time. In addition, the parents of the beloved have lived longer and, most likely, can understand from one look at a person whether he is lying or not.
Remember to be yourself... Everyone wants to make a good impression and smooth out their negative sides, but do not forget to be a person. Seeing someone else to impress is not a good idea when you first meet. We are all individual, with our own set of qualities and preferences. The girl chose you for some reason, and maybe it is her that parents should see and appreciate. Moreover, sooner or later, with regular contact, people will understand nature, it is extremely difficult to hide oneself for a long time. Fictional and embellished stories about yourself seem more like a teenage game than a conversation with a serious young man. In any case, naturalness is important, no need to try to seem too good. As a rule, such people are immediately alarmed. Each person has both positive and negative qualities.
Find out more about parents in advance... Ask your girlfriend about mom's preferences and tastes, as well as dad's attitudes. This will make it much easier to understand which topics are worth bringing up and which ones are better to be missed. Moreover, such work will not go unnoticed.
Prepare for the survey... When they first meet, any parents ask a lot of questions, and you need to be prepared for this. Do not be afraid of any unexpected remarks, calmly and measuredly answer them. Don't show your surprise or embarrassment, be confident. Some parents try in this way to see resistance to stress and the ability to quickly give an answer from a potential groom.
Prepare small remarks about yourself... In order not to get confused at the moment of communication, it is worth considering what questions can be confusing, as well as about plans for the future.

Important! If there is no desire to answer any question, or this topic is inconvenient, then you can tactfully ask to change it. Believe me, it will be better than starting to deceive and embellish.

Prohibited topics when meeting parents

Everyone can stumble in communication, however, it is better to avoid slippery topics. There are not so many of them, so it will not be difficult to remember the list. Some of them may be acceptable in the girl's family. In this case, you can calmly support the conversation, but on condition that the initiative comes from the parents, and not the young man.

Sex... There are young people who love to show off their intimate achievements and the number of sexual partners. But the parents of any person are not the best interlocutors in this matter. Avoiding embarrassing moments will help completely eliminate the topic of sex in the conversation. In addition, fathers are very sensitive to the fact that their little girl has grown up and is sexually active. It is for this reason that it is not worth reminding about this once again. Show respect and do not bring up the topic of sex, even in jokes.
Potentially Conflicting Topics... The conversation at any time can spill over into the topic of religion or politics, when it is important to be especially tactful of the opinions of other people and not to violently prove your position. You need to be polite and not prejudiced against words. And it is better to bypass these topics altogether, directing the conversation to a calmer channel. For example, switching to stories about hobbies or leisure.
Topics that can offend or offend... These are nationality, girl's shortcomings, diseases, physical disabilities, social status, discussion of problems or intimate moments of relatives.

Important! You can tactfully express your thoughts, but not insist on them. It is impossible to predict what may offend or hurt the girl's parents. Believe me, you will not be able to subdue potential relatives if you are an atheist, and they attend church every Sunday.

How to behave with a girl when meeting her parents

Of course, at the first meeting you need to pay maximum attention to your parents, but do not forget about your soul mate. The attention shown to her will certainly leave a good impression of the guy and her family.

If you do not know how the meeting will go, how to behave when meeting the girl's parents, then pay maximum attention to the following recommendations:

The manner of dealing with a lady of the heart... Behave like a real gentleman: take care of the girl, show concern, open the door in front of her, give her a hand, pull a chair behind her, be attentive to every word and do not ignore the appeal, give and help put on a coat or jacket. This will significantly increase the authority in the family. Moreover, every parent is pleased when someone, besides them, takes care of their child.
Intimate relationship... When saying goodbye to a girl, you should not kiss her on the lips in front of your parents, it is better to limit yourself to a kiss on the cheek. Show a minimum of vivid displays of feelings. Kisses and hugs are far from the only way to show your feelings. Attention and respect will be enough to get you started.
Barely noticeable caresses... You can take your soul mate by the hand and lightly stroke. This creates a kind of connection between you and helps to relieve nervous tension. In addition, parents will definitely appreciate such a cute gesture, even if they do not say about it. After all, it is important for them that their daughter is loved and happy.
A little flattery in front of a lady won't hurt... Find a way to compliment a beautiful lady, as long as it is appropriate. You can emphasize her positive qualities, personal achievements or external merits. Highlight what makes the girl the brightest and most spectacular among the other representatives of the fair sex. So the parents will see that the guy understands how special and unique she is.

How to behave when meeting a girl's parents - watch the video:

At the first meeting, the main thing is to pull yourself together, worry less and show more initiative. To make a good impression, buy a small gift and try to act as if you already know these people. Elementary politeness, pleasant appearance and competent speech are the keys to success in such a situation.

Yes, dude, you'll have to meet her parents someday. Especially if everything is serious and cool with you. The most unpleasant thing about meeting with your parents is that they may not like you, and this may very well mean the end of the relationship. Therefore, you need to prepare well for the meeting.

1. Met by clothes

This advice is unlikely to be seriously groundbreaking, but it deserves a spot on this list. The first impression is always very important at any meeting. Parents, relatives, coming to work, meeting new people - most people stubbornly remember their first opinion about a person. And they stick to it, so no baseball caps, wrinkled T-shirts, shorts and past sloppiness. Dress neatly and not frivolously: shirts, polos, jeans, neutral T-shirts. Be shaved, moms love that. Iron your jeans and other trousers well. But do not dress too well, for example, in a suit: you may not believe it.

2. Rehearse the story of your first meeting

Yes, it is very important. Some of your relatives will definitely ask how you actually met. They ask them not only in order to find out the truth, but to check whether the version told by the girl agrees with the one that you will now tell. Of course, you must understand that the truth in the spirit of "we met in some creepy bar, drunk on the wood, squeezed in a dark corner for a long time, and then had sex in the toilet" is unlikely to please the parents. Therefore, we recommend that you do not forget to ask about the version of your acquaintance that the girl told her parents. It will be frustrating if your versions don't match.

3. Collect information

Going to meet a girl's parents is almost the same as going to an interview with a large (or not so big) company. You don’t go to a company without knowing its working conditions, where the company’s office is and how much will you be paid? You shouldn't just come to meet your parents either. You need to know the marital status of the spouses, whether they are divorced, whether this is a second marriage, whether you will get to know her father or stepfather, what other relatives there will be, whether there is a grandmother / grandfather, what relatives love, what are their names - all this you need exactly know! Who said it would be easy?

4. Make your mom love you

Oddly enough, but in most families, mothers are in charge. We do not mean families where there is no second parent, nor do we mean families where the father is frank. It's just that most often mothers are always a kind of gray cardinals who decide who is right, who is to blame and whether this dude is needed in our family. If you seriously think that your mother cannot influence the opinion of your girlfriend in any way (like my girlfriend is an adult, she herself understands and knows everything), then you are very much mistaken, dude. One simple: “Daughter, did you see his look? He constantly looked at our silverware "or" Daughter, are you sure he's worthy of you? " make your girlfriend think hard. A good relationship with the girl's mom will help protect you from the anger of the girl and the rest of the family. Plus a constant reminder: "What a good guy you have, don't lose it!" Flattery (but not arrogant), good manners, compliments of her appearance and culinary talents, plus help with housework and cleaning the plates will help you win your mom's trust.

5. Make her father your second

It's always harder for fathers to accept you. If you ever have a daughter, you will understand why. In short, dads tend to love daughters more than sons, and the thought of this dude fucking his little angel at night puts dads on guard and turns them a little against you. If mom gets to know you in a neutral or positive mood, then the father will most likely be somewhat negative towards you. Once I visited a friend of mine who was expecting the birth of a child, but did not yet know his gender. When it came to who he wants more, the dude said bluntly: "Son!" "Why?" I asked. "Because I'm going to go crazy with the idea that my girl is going to be fucked by some loser."

In order to have a good relationship with her father, it is worth finding out his interests, place of work, etc., and so on. If you have similar interests, you can happily keep up the conversation. If all goes well, you will spend a few hours talking about hunting, fishing, and hiking. Just don't lie!

6. Prepare some topics for conversation

There is nothing worse than awkward silence in the first minutes of meeting. Therefore, prepare a couple of topics to smooth out the awkward moments. It's always good to ask lots of questions and be interested in family life, but don't go overboard. You also need to be always ready for unexpected questions about your work, family, social status and interests. Common topics of conversation include: your job, sports, family, movies, current events, pets. You just need to find out if people really like to discuss it. There are topics to be avoided: politics, religion, money, etc. Until you understand what kind of sense of humor these people have (and whether they have it at all), you should not joke.

7. Bring a gift

It is ideal, of course, to bring a bottle of wine with you to any occasion, having previously learned the tastes of people. Flower arrangements, beautiful sets of sweets are also a great gift. You can also put a small postcard there.

8. Do not delay and follow the actions

Why do girls introduce boys to their parents? Just for the sake of bro, to show that they see a future in your relationship and want more. It's one hundred percent, dude! This is an axiom! But after meeting with her parents, not only the girl, but also her parents will expect much more active actions from you: cohabitation, engagement, wedding. If the period of meeting and meeting with your parents is too long, you should know that for them you become a gradual burden, they sincerely do not understand what the hell you are doing in their house and why you are eating their food.

On your first date with your parents, do more nice little things. Take care of your friend and her mom at the table, move the table, take the plates to the kitchen and help her mom wash them. You also need to let your parents understand that in this girl you are interested not only in breasts and ass, but also in everything else, so keep your eyes away from her neckline, even though it looks amazing in this T-shirt.

She has always been your beloved daughter, and you are her only beloved parents. And then he appeared. Be prepared, if you have a daughter, sooner or later the moment will come when you will need to get to know her chosen one.

Whether you like it or not, your child's personal life is his personal life. It is quite possible that the contender for your daughter's hand is not the most successful, in your opinion, and maybe, on the contrary, you will not find a better groom.

In any case, you must respect your daughter's choice. But you also have every right to have your own opinion about him, and for this you need, as parents, to meet your daughter's boyfriend... We advise you to prepare for this meeting if you are not indifferent to the fate of your child who has already fallen in love.

Step 1. Initiate the meeting. If your daughter hasn't decided to introduce you to her boyfriend yet, hint that you have been waiting for this for a long time. Suggest inviting him home for dinner, on a trip, spending a weekend together, or celebrating a family celebration. Don't be formal, imagine as if you are going to meet up with friends.

Step 2. Prepare... Ask your daughter more about her boyfriend. What does he do? What are his interests? Who are his parents? What is unacceptable for him in a relationship? How does he see his future? This information will form an initial idea about him and will allow you to choose the right topics for joint communication. Finding out what makes your daughter happy with him will help you focus on his merits rather than what you dislike about him. When preparing a treat for a guest, do not be lazy to learn about his gastronomic preferences and make sure that he is not allergic to any foods.

Step 3. Presentation... Greet the groom with a pleasant smile and a gentle handshake, or even allow yourself a kiss on the cheek. Introduce yourself by name and patronymic and find out what you should call him. It is also important for you to create a positive impression of yourself.

Step 4. Reduce pressure. Even if you have prejudices, concerns about this meeting, do not show it. Know that the groom is even more nervous and insecure than you are. Create a warm family atmosphere, help the groom start a conversation, let him open up. Know that this is also a challenge for your daughter, and she is also very worried. Be open, welcoming and be yourself, this is not the time for intrigue or mutual exchange of pleasantries.

Step 5. Topics for conversation. Having prepared with the help of your daughter for communication, you will have several thematic blanks for the conversation. Do not force communication in any particular direction, let the conversation itself flow in the right direction. Let it be relaxed, interesting, without discussing difficult and controversial issues.

Step 6. What to avoid. Do not suppress the interlocutor, do not ask provocative questions. This is not a test, an exam, or a job interview. It is clear that you want to make sure of the right choice of your daughter, but avoid over-observing him and do not make him a "highlight of the program." Act as if this is your new friend, and soon you will have a close and pleasant communication together.

Step 7. One-on-one conversation... Talk frankly with your daughter's boyfriend about his intentions. Doing this in a gentle and non-aggressive manner will help clarify the situation, understand each other better, and build rapport. His answers to your questions and how he responds to your concerns will tell you how serious he is in his relationship, whether he wants a serious relationship or is limited to dating.

Step 8. After meeting... After the meeting, be sure to talk with your daughter. Note what you liked about her friend and how you felt about being with him. If your dating experience is not very pleasant, try to avoid criticizing your boyfriend and try to accept him for who he is, even if you don't like him in some way. Tactfully explain to your daughter what specifically you did not like, and how you see the further development of events from your position of experienced adults. Otherwise, you risk ruining your relationship with her.

Impressions of couples in love and advice from a psychologist on how to arrange a date with close relatives correctly and without loss

After the wedding, the couple in love acquires the status of a young family. However, after the official recognition of themselves as husband and wife, all relatives of the second half officially become relatives. And the duties of lovers include not only getting to know their newly-made relatives, but also introducing her to each other.

Where to arrange a meeting?

Option 1: Neutral territory

Among the advantages: no family member has to waste time at the stove to dazzle guests with culinary delights. Also, no one will look around, assessing the repair and decoration of the apartment.

Among the disadvantages: you need to carefully prepare for the meeting in advance. You should not choose a place where no one has ever been before. This is fraught with a negative impression from the service of the staff of the restaurant or cafe, or, in the worst case, poisoning. In addition, the budget should be considered. Otherwise, barely getting to know each other, relatives risk becoming debtors to each other.

When I introduced my mother to the young man, I decided to choose our favorite cafe with him. True, it turned out that after the meeting, it ceased to be loved. Firstly, my mother cursed my now-husband's favorite dish, and secondly, a very noisy company came across at the next table. Because of this, we practically did not hear the friend. At first they tried to shout down the noise, and when they realized that it was in vain, the conversation stopped developing altogether, '' said the Annunciation Tatiana.

Option 2: Invite guests

Pros: Acquaintance at home will allow mothers to boast of their own “best jellied meat in the world”. In addition, acquaintance with the house will provide an opportunity to demonstrate a high degree of hospitality. Also, being the inviting party, the groom or the bride will feel more comfortable on their territory and in which case they can defuse the situation.

Minuses: A conflict may arise - who should invite whom? Previously, everything was decided by traditions - the groom's parents came to woo, and as a dowry from the bride's relatives, they received a chest of gold.

Getting to know your home will give you the opportunity to demonstrate a high degree of hospitality

Photo: depositphotos.com

In addition, acquaintance can be overshadowed by caring for guests and running into the kitchen. The hospitable hostess can skip most of the evening checking to see if the next meal is ready. As a result, the owners of the house will get tired and will want to be finally alone.

My husband's parents are from Svobodny, we invited them to visit my grandmother. It is interesting that we introduced our relatives just before the wedding itself, so, to be honest, it was just a tribute to tradition. We would have gotten married anyway, no matter how the acquaintance went. It just happened that my grandmother and my husband's mother were the soloists. The rest spent most of the time looking at the plates, - shared Alice.

Psychologist's comment

When meeting, the main thing is not to pretend to be superfluous and to behave naturally. There is no need to hide anything, speak only the truth and do not deceive others. And do not worry, after all, you do not meet strangers, but with the parents of your soulmate. For a place of acquaintance, a neutral territory is probably better. One of the most successful options is a chance meeting. She will save you from unnecessary officialdom, as well as from a long preparation for acquaintance, - the psychologist believes. Nadezhda Korshikova.

We did not plan to officially meet the parents at all. On the day of the meeting, my mom and dad were going to barbecue and invited the mom of my boyfriend. I am glad that everything turned out spontaneously, but without curiosities and inconveniences. At first, my boyfriend's mom was a little shy and, to be honest, a year has passed since the meeting, and only recently she stopped being embarrassed. Now the parents call up themselves, and we have lost the separation, now we are one big family, - said Victoria.

If the future newlyweds decided to organize a traditional official meeting, and not rely on chance, then several recommendations should be taken into account.

1. Less nostalgia

Before the first acquaintance, it is worth checking: whether the loving mother has taken a pile of children's photo albums, where the future groom or bride is presented in all its glory. For example, at the age of 6, smeared with semolina or at graduation after a liter of cognac. If mothers really want to devote time to memories, then it is better to allow them to take with them a couple of their most beloved photos and children's handicrafts dear to their hearts.

2. Dialogues about ...

If it turned out that the groom's dad is an ardent supporter of a healthy lifestyle and is not a fan of sports, but the bride's father is a lover of beer and football, then it is worth limiting the number of remarks about where Russian footballers' hands grow from. But if mothers from both families are fond of Mexican TV shows, then you can start a topic about popular TV shows. The main thing is to avoid sharp corners in conversations. Parents will still have time to argue that communism or democracy is better.

3. Calm, only calm

“A smile will brighten everyone,” says a well-known children's song, and rightly so. If a young couple is happy and sincerely smiles when meeting with future relatives, then it is a sin for parents to turn against each other.