Don't scare me away! How to make an unforgettable impression on a man. You Never Get a Second Opportunity to Make a First Impression - Rules for Making a First Impression

There are many situations in life when we want to be sure that we have made the most advantageous impression on the new interlocutor. How, without losing yourself, to form a positive image in the eyes of our counterpart?

Stay yourself

You shouldn't try to appear as someone who you are not. This applies not only to false information distorting the real state of affairs, but also to attempts to seem easier and more cheerful - such deliberation is usually perceived by the interlocutor as insincerity. "Just because joking isn't your forte, it doesn't mean you'll make the worst impression," says psychotherapist Carlin Flora. - Do not betray your nature - your introverted qualities compensate for what you think you might be missing. This is attentiveness to the interlocutor, the ability to listen and understand. " Just try to follow the speech - nervousness sometimes makes us speak faster, which immediately betrays anxiety and uncertainty, leaving not the best impression. “However, the advice to 'be yourself' should not always be taken literally,” adds Carlin Flora. - So, for example, you should never show your gloomy mood. After all, it spreads like an infection - your interlocutor, in turn, will feel uncomfortable. "

Pay attention to yourself

Concentrate on yourself and your feelings shortly before your first meeting with a new person to you. This can be any way that is closest to you that helps you meet your inner self and feel balance: a short meditation, prayer, or just remembering the moment when you felt especially happy or very calm. “Such visual images, which we conjure up, set us up for a wave of openness and trust in the world, give self-confidence. People, as a rule, feel this sense of inner balance in the interlocutor and involuntarily begin to feel sympathy for him as a harmonious person, ”says Tomas Plante, professor of psychology and psychiatry at Santa Clara University.

Language of the body

People do not have to read psychological advice in order to recognize the state of the interlocutor in gestures and facial expressions - they often feel it subconsciously. Much more confidence will be gained by a person who, when talking, looks into the eyes and does not constantly look away. This immediately becomes an unspoken manifestation of interest and trust in a partner. However, you communicate that you would like to keep your distance if you take certain positions. “It's worth considering the position of your hands and arms,” says Thomas Plainte. - Arms crossed on your chest, immediately betray your unwillingness to approach. This is the worst hand position when first meeting. One hand is on the chest, while the palm clasps the other hand - the so-called incomplete barrier - a less demonstrative posture, which, however, also speaks of the desire to isolate oneself from the interlocutor and the inability to trust him. It is also worth trying to get rid of the habit of clenching your hands. One of the gestures that expresses the openness of a partner is just open hands. After all, when a child deceives or hides something, he puts his hands behind his back. An adult in a situation like this usually hides his hands in his pockets or interlaces his fingers. "

It is also extremely important to maintain a distance. You should not sit too far from the interlocutor if you are sitting at a common table. The very distance between communicants can show how much they want to contact each other. Getting closer to you indicates that the person wants to be emotionally closer. However, one should take into account that people have an "intimate zone", the invasion of which may cause discomfort. Therefore, you should not be too close to the interlocutor's face, and if you did not hear something due to loud music or extraneous sounds, bend over so as to avoid eye contact. It is best if your gaze is directed over the shoulder of the other person.

They are greeted by clothes

In the well-known proverb, according to which we are still greeted by our clothes - that is, the external and expressive manifestation of our "I" - there is a deep psychological meaning. Research confirms this popular wisdom. It is worth carefully considering your appearance and in the case when you do not know your counterpart very well, at the first meeting, both professional and romantic, to observe a certain golden mean. And if you are usually a fan of experimenting with the image, then for this case it is better to stop at the most laconic and natural image.

Don't be a narcissist

Freeze

Despite the fact that the first impression is, of course, very strong, do not be afraid to correct the situation if you made a mistake. For example, you came to a party in an agitated state because of what happened on the way (you were upset by an unexpected call, you damaged your car) and because of this, you almost did not pay attention to the people to whom you were introduced. Having calmed down a little, you saw a person who you like, but do not dare to approach him again. “Do not be afraid to melt the ice, the main thing is to show that you understand everything and regret such a bad start,” says Carlin Flora. - It is best to honestly explain (if possible with ease and humor, without going into details unnecessary for the interlocutor) what happened to you. And after that, turn the conversation to another topic. " “How you break up is equally, and often more important,” says Thomas Plainte. - Our impression of a person is formed not only from the first signals that we read when we meet, but also from those that we receive when we say goodbye. It is they who fix or modify the image created by the imagination. "

1. In all situations, behave naturally.

2. Don't go to extremes. If you are too tense and constrained, the first impression of you is clearly not the best. If, on the contrary, you are too relaxed or familiar, then you can offend the interlocutor with your behavior.

3. You should not be too serious and pretend to be a very smart and busy person.

4. Show interest in other people, in their affairs and problems.

5. Be discreet and tactful.

6. Express your sincere approval. Take note of everything that you like about the person and tell him about it.

7. Give more compliments.

If you want to win over a person who treats you negatively, compliment him about his abilities that you do not have. Compliments require special tact. Any compliment should be without double meaning, so that your assessment cannot be interpreted as both positive and negative.

If you give a disproportionately high assessment of any quality of the interlocutor, then your compliment will sound derisive and will be perceived as an insult. In no case should a compliment be made about those qualities that a person is trying to get rid of.

Sincere, free from exaggeration, compliments are always pleasant.

In some cases, an unspoken compliment can border on impolite, for example, if you fail to appreciate the hostess's lovingly prepared food or other manifestations of her attention.

Compliments quite often relate to the appearance of the interlocutor, and therefore each compliment sentence usually includes a positive evaluative adverb - good, beautiful, wonderful or great:

You (you) look good (look great, fashionable, great) (look).

You (you) look very good (look)!

You (you) look good (look) today!

If you want to emphasize some character traits or behavior of the interlocutor, use adverbs - very much, as well as an adjective - which:

You (you) are very (so) smart (smart, smart)! _ How are you (you) smart - (smart, smart)!

What are you (you) smart (smart)!

You (you) have a wonderful character.

You (you) have an exquisite taste.

It's interesting to talk to you.

When meeting after a long separation, benevolent people note the good appearance of their acquaintances:

You (you) do not change (eat), do not get old - (eat), you all get younger (eat).

You (you) will not give your (your) years.

A positive assessment of the interlocutor's professional qualities can also sound like a compliment:

You (you) are such a good specialist ...

Any compliment presupposes an expression of gratitude in return:

Thanks!

Thanks for the compliment!

I'm very pleased.

Glad to hear it.

I glad to hear it.

A reciprocal compliment can also be made regarding the appearance, clothing of the interlocutor, or repeating what he said:

You (you) look good too (look).

And you (you) have a beautiful suit

I can say the same about you (you).

The same can be said about you (you).

8. Listen carefully to the interlocutor. Observe his non-verbal behavior.

9. Try to find something in common between yourself and your interlocutor. Never look for differences. People love to communicate with those to whom they have sympathy, who are similar to them, then communication allows you to feel inner harmony.

In psychology, there is such a thing as pacing or reflection. In order for the relationship to be smooth, free, open, reliable, you need to try to create an atmosphere of “reflection”, in which everything that your interlocutor does, hears, seems to him to be correct. It is important to show in communication those aspects of your character that are closest to the interlocutor. Use pacing sparingly. This can be achieved in three ways:

a) through body language: gestures, posture, gait, facial expression, breathing, clothing;

c) through feelings.

The most striking example of unconscious pacing is the relationship between lovers. They repeat each other in everything. They speak the same way, use the same words, have the same opinion, and so on.

10. Show only positive signs of attention, such as praise, gratitude, a grateful look, and the like. Positive signs of attention will bring joy to your interlocutor, strengthen his faith in his strength.

A person who receives too few positive tokens shows discontent towards everyone around them. He blames conductors, bosses, and the government for his bad life, and often gets depressed.

Avoid negative signs of attention, such as a disdainful look, a shrug, disbelief, ingratitude, or ridicule.

11. Gestures and postures of a person can make both a pleasant and a reverse impression on the interlocutor.

Many gestures are not fixed by consciousness, but fully convey the mood and thoughts of a person.

The raised shoulders of your interlocutor indicate that he is tense, feels the danger coming from you.

Raised shoulders and a lowered head indicate that your interlocutor is closed. He is either unsure of himself, or afraid of something, or dissatisfied with your conversation, or feels humiliated.

Dropped shoulders and raised head are evidence that your interlocutor is set for success, he is in control of the situation.

Head tilted to one side - your interlocutor is interested.

Rubbing the century - your interlocutor is telling a lie.

There are several basic gestures and postures that convey the inner state of a person.

Gestures of openness help to win over the interlocutor, call him into a frank conversation and leave him with the most favorable impression of himself. Openness gestures include the “open arms” gesture, when the interlocutor stretches his hands, palms up, and the “unbuttoning jacket” gesture. When agreement is reached between the interlocutors, they involuntarily unbutton their jackets.

Signs of suspicion and secrecy indicate that a person is not in the mood for a conversation. These gestures include rubbing of the forehead, temples, chin, involuntary covering of the face with hands. If the interlocutor looks away, this is the clearest indicator that he is hiding something.

Defense gestures and postures indicate that the person feels danger or threat from you. The most common defensive gesture is the arms crossed over the chest.

If your interlocutor has crossed his arms, then it is better to end the conversation. And if, in addition, he clenched his palms into fists, then this indicates his extremely hostile mood. In this case, you need to slow down your speech, and it is best to change the topic of conversation.

Reflection and appreciation gestures indicate that the conversation has piqued the interest of the partner. Reflection gestures include the "pinching the bridge of the nose" gesture, the "thinker" posture, when the interlocutor rests his cheek with his hand.

Gestures of doubt and uncertainty indicate that the interlocutor is unclear about something in the conversation or that your arguments seem unconvincing to him. Such gestures include scratching the place under the earlobe or the side of the neck with the index finger of the right hand, rubbing the nose with the index finger.

An offended person often raises his shoulders and lowers his head. If your interlocutor has taken exactly this position, then the topic of conversation should be changed.

Gestures and postures that express aggressiveness include tightly intertwined fingers, especially if the hands are on the knees, fists are clenched. The harder a person clenches his fists, the higher the degree of his internal arousal.

Gestures and postures expressing irritation - touching the nose or lightly rubbing it; coughing.

The gestures and postures that testify to the confidence of the interlocutor include postures: the hands are connected by the tips of the fingers, while the palms are not in contact; the body is tilted slightly forward, and the hands are on the hips; the chin is raised high.

They say about disappointment: scratching the back of the head; unbuttoning the collar of the shirt; tapping your foot on the floor.

The person seeking to end the conversation lowers his eyelids. If your interlocutor wears glasses, then he will take off his glasses and put them aside.

When your interlocutor scratches his ear or sips on his earlobe, it means that he is tired of listening and wants to speak himself.

If your interlocutor walks around the room, then this can be regarded as the fact that the conversation interests him, but he needs to think before making a decision.

If your interlocutor, while standing, rests his hands on a table or chair, it means that he is not sure whether you are listening to him carefully.

A self-confident person who wants to show his superiority over others can be recognized by gestures - “placing hands behind the back with a grasp of the wrist” and “placing hands behind the head”. It is very difficult to communicate with such a person. If you want to position him towards you, then lean forward a little with outstretched palms and ask him to explain something to you. Another way is to copy the gesture.

The smug and arrogant man puts his hands together.

If your interlocutor suddenly began to collect fluff from his clothes, while he turned away from you or looks at the floor, this means that he does not agree with you and does not want to express his opinion.

A person who, during a conversation, holds on to the side edges of a chair with his hands or his hands are on his knees, does not want to continue the conversation. You should stop the conversation, then you will leave a pleasant impression of yourself.

If your interlocutor smokes, then by the way he releases smoke, you can determine his attitude towards you and your conversation. The smoke is constantly released upward, which means that the partner is positive and he likes the conversation. The smoke is directed downward, the partner, on the contrary, is negatively disposed, and the faster he releases the smoke, the more the conversation is unpleasant for him.

You can determine the state of a person by gait. A person who keeps his hands in his pockets or waves them strongly, looks at his feet, is in a depressed state. Walking quickly with waving arms speaks of self-confidence. A person who walks with his head up, while energetically waving his arms, is arrogant and arrogant. Hands clasped behind the back and a lowered head indicate concern.

12. The state of a person is eloquently evidenced by his facial expressions. Tightly compressed lips indicate isolation. The drooping corners of the mouth show frustration.

During the conversation, try to visually draw a triangle on your partner's face that you should be looking into. This will help you concentrate as much as possible.

13. In order to be considered a well-mannered person, you will have to get rid of such qualities as excessive curiosity, hot temper, resentment and vanity.

Curiosity is inherent in every person. Healthy curiosity broadens one's horizons and promotes intellectual development. However, if a person begins to take an interest in other people's affairs, eavesdropping on conversations, peeping through the keyholes, then such curiosity is a manifestation of extreme bad manners. It interferes with communication between people.

Hot temper will never help to win over the interlocutor. A person who does not know how to argue without switching to raised tones destroys the relationship. Do not justify hot temper by your natural weakness, hot temper is a lack of upbringing.

Sensitivity annoys others. Anyone in the presence of a touchy interlocutor feels tension. He has to constantly monitor himself so as not to inadvertently hurt his interlocutor with anything. A resentful person, complaining about an unhappy life, easily infects others with his bad mood.

Vanity is one of the worst vices. Often, vain people occupy leadership positions, are endowed with a certain power. They need constant confirmation of their superiority over others. If you find signs of this disease in yourself, try to get rid of it before it becomes chronic.

Everyone knows how important it is to make a first impression. This is especially true in relation to the professional environment, because based on the prevailing opinion about a person, the tone of the meeting is set, the course of the interview, or potential business relationships arise. That is why business people need to be completely confident that the impression of them always remains positive.

So, you probably already know how to give presentations, and have already familiarized yourself with a million ways to do business. Now you need to have a clear idea of ​​how to impress people. Our today's publication will help you with this.

Keep your back straight

If you keep your back slumped while sitting in a chair, business partners may recognize in you signs of laziness, weakness, or disinterestedness. Remember to sit in negotiations with a perfectly straight back. This also applies to the standing position. Always watch your shoulders and chin. Even if the person you are dating does not attach importance to non-verbal cues, your posture will already form the right opinion in your partner. People around on a subconscious level perceive a person with a straight back and a slightly raised head up as a strong personality.

Eye contact

We all know that people who try their best to avoid eye contact are nervous or insecure. However, self-contained people can easily establish eye contact with a partner. After all, for this it is not at all necessary to stare at the interlocutor with a manic expression in his eyes. Zeal is useless here, 3-5 seconds of a calm, confident and open look is enough.

Smile

Yes, indeed, a smile can be contagious. You've noticed how strangers never remain morose in response to your radiant smile. That is why we advise you to take care of the condition of your teeth and apply this irresistible technique at every opportunity. Smiling demonstrates to your partner on the other side of the negotiation that you are friendly and sympathetic to them. Know that even after the meeting is over, your pleasant expression will remind others that you are a good person. Use this technique also when making acquaintances in an informal setting. A smile is what will help the interlocutor to feel the maximum comfort and warmth next to you.

Don't overdo it with interjections

Even if the person who communicates with you does not initially focus on the nuances of your speech, you should not often use interjections in phrases. Constant "hmm ..." and "eeee ..." on a subconscious level contribute to the formation of a negative impression of you. People will think that you are a dull-witted person, not experienced enough, not interesting, or not able to negotiate. If you cannot control this habit, try speaking at a slower pace. This will help you shape each word in advance and make a positive impression.

Be the first to contact

If you are easy to contact, thereby you demonstrate self-confidence, ease and ease of movement. By taking the first step, you show a great mood and your own sense of comfort in this particular environment. Follow this rule, and simple small talk can easily transform into a real business partnership.

Conclusion

Always try to make the right first impression, even if you are not in a business meeting. After all, if other people are not interested in your services at the moment, who knows how things will turn out in the future? Therefore, whenever possible, try to follow our advice, and then knowing the secrets of communication will become a useful and productive habit for you.

Men are conquerors by nature, as a result of which they often want to make a good impression on the beautiful half of humanity. Before embarking on a full-scale operation, you need to get rid of possible complexes. You shouldn't feel awkward or nervous when dealing with a girl. If you do not exclude these factors, they will pull you back. Confident men lead women, and ladies are happy about this turn of events.

Step # 1. Become a positive hero

Be confident. Become what the girl wants to see as a life partner. Have a positive dialogue, tell interesting life stories. Do not create vulgar subtext, such actions are very repulsive, especially in the early days of communication.

Be kind, well mannered, gallant and outgoing. Let the girl see you as a future boyfriend. In cases where you consider yourself unworthy of attention, start working on your personal growth. Pessimists are encouraged to become at least a quarter optimistic.

Instead of complaining about the plight of friends and family, look for the positive. Having a great mood boosts your self-esteem, you become a good conversationalist, and you begin to accept life in a positive way. It is these guys that girls like: funny, resourceful, cheerful.

Step # 2. Show your talents

Think about what you can do? Are you a good guitar player or good at cars? Do you drive a motorcycle or do you like karting? Do you know how to play volleyball, basketball or football?

Fine! Choose an activity in which you are successful. Invite a girl to watch your reporting concert or a game between the teams. You can ride a motorcycle together (win-win).

Perhaps the lady will not appreciate the talents, but it is necessary to give her the opportunity to decide on her own. This is a sign of trust, not bragging: you let the girl into your world without demanding anything in return.

Step # 3. Show your personality

You do not need to adapt to it, you are a person, with your own views, opinions and priorities. Nobody likes mumbled men. Exude individuality in actions, words, and reasonably answer questions. If you indulge the girl, she will quickly lose interest.

Tease her and joke, do what you like. Talk about hobbies, pets, interesting movies and TV shows. The main thing is not to be silent. At this stage, you can already create a sexual connotation. Periodically touch the girl's hand and lean closer to hear her words.

Step # 4. Watch yourself

You will not be able to win the attention of a lady if you do not follow your appearance, demeanor, speech. Visit a hairdresser and get a creative haircut that sets you apart from the crowd.

Go shopping, get some branded shirts, nice jeans and shoes. Watch and French perfume will not be superfluous. Choose a quality perfume that does not start giving off alcohol after a couple of hours. If the girl does not remember what you are wearing, she will definitely catch a pleasant sexy scent emanating from you.

Sign up for a gym or kickboxing section, get your body in shape. Everyone knows that ladies drool over pumped up guys. Those who claim otherwise are arrogant liars.

Step # 5. Write a message

Take her phone number under a plausible pretext. For example, show that you need it in your study plan, or arrange to have your car repaired. When she gives the number, write a message. Say hello and introduce yourself, ask about business, day or pets. Whatever, the main thing is to state the thoughts to which you need to answer.

Do not write monotonous "clear", "understandable", such messages cut the connection in the bud. Try to stretch the conversation, do not limit yourself to two messages. If you notice that the girl has stopped responding, put her 100 rubles. on the phone. Perhaps she just does not want to talk, but your move will oblige her to answer.

Many will say, “There is no need to force communication on a lady,” this opinion is erroneous. A woman needs to be conquered, they do not like guys who come to everything ready. Show patience and perseverance. Try to include emoticons in moderation, do not overdo it, but do not write in dry language.

Step 6. Take an interest in her life

Ask more personal questions, but be careful. If a girl has problems in the family, she will make it clear. In this case, the conversation must be changed.

Avoid sensitive topics like ex-boyfriends, conflicts with girlfriends, and religious differences. Focusing on pets is a safe bet.

Try to find common ground. Find out about her musical preferences, ask what genre of films she likes, ask about her dreams and plans.

Talk a little about study / work, hobbies and free time. Try to remember everything you heard so that during the subsequent conversation you can confidently state: "Yes, I remember that this is your favorite color."

Step 7. Communicate in a common company

Get a girl's attention by being with friends. It's good if you manage to organize everything in such a way that you find yourself in the same company. Behave politely, do not use foul language, take care of her, but not intrusively. In cases where such an opportunity is absent, merge into the circle of her acquaintances.

Walk up to their company during a break from school, say hello and bring up a topic of conversation (by any means). Avoid awkward breaks in communication, fill them with events and other interesting things. You do not need to stay for a long time, 10-15 minutes of daily conversations are enough.

By your actions, you will already attract her attention, especially if you behave a little cocky (not to be confused with rudeness). Try to call the lady for an open dialogue, the method will work, because the girl will not expect such a turn of events.

Step 8. Invite her out on a date.

Do not pull the cat by the tail, act confidently. During your next meeting, chat for a while, then pretend to be in a hurry. In the meantime, mention “Shouldn't we go somewhere together? A nice cafe has opened on the corner. " The girl simply does not have time to figure out what's what, so she subconsciously answers with consent.

If she starts referring to being busy, coming up with ridiculous excuses, blushing and getting nervous, say directly “I'll pick you up at eight! Tell me the address. " Such a move can only be made when you are confident in mutual sympathy.

Show yourself on the good side, show good manners, kindness and openness. Do not fold your arms over your chest while talking, be confident. Invite her to watch a football game, invite your friends to join. Start a conversation via SMS, take an interest in the girl's life, join her company. Do not touch on sensitive topics, be individual, do not hesitate to express your opinion.

Video: how to impress a girl

Many people get lost when meeting a new person. Numerous questions arise: what to say, how to behave, etc. Below are 12 basic rules on how to behave in such a situation. They will help you overcome embarrassment and create the best impression of yourself.

1. First you need to relax. Release yourself from inner tension and stiffness. Try to strike up a conversation.

2. Smile. Looking sullen or serious will not make you more attractive.

3. Use the name of the other person in the conversation. This will help make the conversation more personal.

4. Do not take your eyes off the other person. Correct eye contact plays a huge role in communication.

5. Don't slouch. You won't be able to make a good impression on others if you crouch or slouch. By the way, poor posture is also considered to be one of the signs of an insecure person.

6. Be yourself. Don't try to portray yourself in your best light with lies. For example, you don’t have to lie that you’re on a diet, because it’s fashionable if in fact you raid your refrigerator every night.

7. Learn not only to speak, but also to listen. Of course, to make the impression of an interesting interlocutor, you need to be able to maintain a conversation. However, do not chatter incessantly. It is far more important to demonstrate that you are also a good listener.

8. Be careful with humor. It will be a shame if one stupid joke ruins the whole good impression of you.

9. Don't interrupt the other person, but check the details from time to time. If the topic is not interesting to you, then try switching to another no earlier than after 5 minutes.

10. Appearance is of paramount importance. Remember this.

11. Speak confidently and convincingly, but in moderation. Don't let your conversation turn into your monologue.

12. And the last piece of advice: never start an acquaintance by discussing your personal problems. Never start complaining to a new acquaintance.

Now that you know how to make a good impression, all you have to do is follow these tips.