Rules for phone calls to girls. Should you call a man first?

If you strictly follow the "Rules", then you will have no reason to call a man. He should be the one to call you - over and over again, until he gets you to agree to a date.

Calling a man, you show obsession, and this is absolutely against the "Rules". A man will immediately understand what you like and may lose interest! Another reason not to call is the danger of distracting the man from something. He can watch football, deal with scores, chat with friends, just sleep. In such a situation, he will not want to talk to you at all. Why tempt fate?

When you call a man, he may be the first to hang up or end the conversation too quickly. And you can mistake his busyness for lack of interest. You you might even think he's with another woman! Naturally, you will feel empty and nervous until the very moment when he finally calls you himself. Such nervousness can make you call him. again and ask: "Is everything okay?" or “Do you love me? Do you miss me? " This is how you break several "Rules" at once!

So that a man does not know how much you love him, how sad and lonely you are without him, never call him! If he left a message asking him to call back, try not to. Only call back when it comes to changing dating plans or another event. But never call a man just to chat.

You don't call and it makes the man want you more. He wants to see you even more and, naturally, calls you himself. If you call, he will find out everything about you too quickly and will get bored. Plus, when you rarely call, every call you make is an event.

Don't worry about being rude. When a man loves you and really wants to communicate with you, he will never find you rude. He will decide that you are busy, that you are difficult to get. Men always call again.

Have you ever noticed that when a man calls himself, the conversation develops better? This is because it was the man who picked up the phone and dialed the number. He missed you at that very moment. Right now, he wanted to hear your voice. When a man calls, he is an aggressor. It is he who thinks about what to say. He took the time to talk to you. It's available!

In such a situation, the "Rules" are effective, because you may not be at home, and then the man will have to guess where you have gone and call back. When he calls, you may be busy, and then you politely interrupt the conversation. When he calls himself, it's easier for you to follow rule # 6: Always hang up first.

But we are not all saints. In fact, each of us at least once, but called the man back. Of course, she didn't call herself, but she called back. If for some reason you need to call the man back, try to wait. Don't call right away. And when you call back, do not talk for a long time. The conversation should be polite but short. Do not tell the answering machine what time or day you can be found. Don't volunteer important information. You will make it too easy for a man and seem rather intrusive. Let him seek a meeting with you. Remember: you are the Rule girl and you are very busy! The "Rules" girl usually returns home and listens to messages on her answering machine for an hour, choosing a man to meet on the weekend.

What if a man left you a message on Tuesday night and you're dying to spend Saturday night with him? Do I need to call back on Tuesday? The answer of the "Rules" is very simple: NO! It will become very clear to the man that you are calling to arrange a date on Saturday. Better if he calls you back on Wednesday night (this is the deadline) and offers to meet on Saturday.

Better to spend Saturday night alone than to get used to calling a man for any reason.

The Rules will help you find not someone with whom you can spend Saturday, but a man for life. It's not worth winning one battle just to lose a war.

Remember: The Rules are not created to hurt you or hurt you. We do not want you to suffer unnecessarily. There is enough pain in life to add it voluntarily. We cannot control cancer or drunk drivers. But we can restrain ourselves and not dial the coveted number. If you call and the man doesn't call you back or ask you out on a date, you will be overwhelmed. If you call him, he will decide that you are quite available and you shouldn't try too hard. If you call a man, he won't get used to making you a date at the end of every meeting. He must learn that if you do not invite you during the meeting, then you may not get through - and then you will have to do without your company for a week, or even two. No, call you possible, but very difficult! Remember: you are very busy with your own affairs and other dates. You make plans ahead of time. But don't scold the man for not calling you earlier. Forget the sacramental phrase:

- If you called early ...

Just say:

“I'd love to go, but I can't.

And he himself will understand that he should have called earlier.

If a man is in love, then to make an appointment for Saturday, he will start calling on Monday or Tuesday. If he doesn't love you, he won't call again and again.

But don't be surprised if after the first date the man doesn't call for a week or two. He may have a lot to do. He can date other women. He may be trying to fit you into his schedule, but he doesn't know how yet.

Remember: before meeting you, he had a life of his own! Don't be intrusive!

Just go about your business (at least in order not to think about him 24 hours a day). Give a man space, wait for he himself will call.

Here's a good example of how you should deal with a situation like this. Our friend Laura, after her first date with David, waited two and a half weeks for his call. David recently got divorced and needed some time to think before starting a new relationship. Rule girl Laura gave him that time and space. Unlike most women, she didn’t call to find out “how is he doing,” or for some other far-fetched reason:

“I think you said you wanted to meet my accountant?”

Of course, Laura was unpleasant, but she dated friends and went on blind dates. She was a pragmatist. She knew that David would definitely call if he liked her. If he doesn't call, then that's his problem! She will find herself another! When David finally called, Laura was sweet and friendly. She did not begin to find out why he had not called earlier, and did not want to talk about it. They dated for ten months and then got married.

Another note about the phone: sometimes we want to call the man we are dating, not to talk to him, but just to hear his voice. It seems to us that without hearing this dear, sexy voice immediately, we will simply die! And this is understandable. Try calling him at home when he's at work. You will hear his voice on the answering machine, and then hang up without leaving a message. A very effective trick!

There is a stereotype that a woman should not impose on a man and call him first. Is this so, are there any exceptions to the rules, and does a woman sometimes need to take the initiative herself.

When you don't need to call

1. If you just met, exchanged phone numbers and had a great first date - a woman should not call the first one

Wait until the man deigns to honor you with his attention. He needs to think about what happened, and so do you.

Therefore, do not rush things, and patiently wait for the call, if it does not follow, then the man is not worth your attention.

2. The second case when a woman should call herself: if the man ignored the first call

Women have a not very good trait: they simply start to torment their lover's phone if he did not pick up the phone the first time.

Make it a rule: to knock on the door is worth only once, if it did not open in front of you, then you were not expected. Translating this truth into a "phone call" format: do not try to test the patience of your young man.

If he does not pick up the phone, then he has a reason for this, you should not try to starve him out. A man will clearly not like it if a woman calls incessantly, not calming down even if the phone is not answered.

3. The third option when a woman should refrain from calling: when the partner really talks about his employment

Calls to check what he really does there is bad form.

When is it and is it possible?

1. It is completely normal for a woman to call a man when the time of your conversation is predetermined, that is, you agreed to call

Again: if the call was not answered, there is no need to insist. Just wait for him to call you back.

2. An ordinary call when you are in a normal relationship ...

... and it is customary for you to call each other in order to simply wish each other good morning, good night, or just chat during the day.

3. Calling him when there was some problem in which his participation is required is also the norm.

In short: do not turn your phone into a tool for "Spying" on your loved one, do not be too persistent at the beginning of a relationship.

But, if you have a normal and already long-term relationship: there is nothing wrong with calling a woman to a man - no. It is quite normal when a girl herself takes the initiative into her own hands and offers to meet, take a walk, go to the cinema.

Men will even like it, unless, of course, you begin to lock on to him and demonstrate to him that you have simply lost all the other interests of life.

This issue of Tekhnologika is somewhat unusual, since it does not at all concern the technical side of the use of modern technology. Because this article will focus on mobile phones, which everyone seems to be able to use. However, over the years of general, so to speak, mobilization of the population in society, a kind of culture of communication on a cell phone or, in other words, mobile etiquette has managed to develop.

We decided to recall the basic rules of cultural communication on a mobile phone. In fact, any educated person knows them very well, because they are built on the usual norms of everyday behavior and communication with people. However, it will not be superfluous to remember them again. Also, if you know people who, in your opinion, are not very familiar with mobile etiquette, do a good deed by sending them a link to this text. So the rules are as follows.

1. Switch off your mobile phone where safety regulations require it. These include, for example, airplanes and hospitals, where cell phones can interfere with equipment.
2. You cannot talk on your mobile while driving in a car. This is not even etiquette, but one of the rules of the road, prohibiting making and answering cell phone calls while driving a car, if you do not have a headset that will save you from having to hold the phone in your hand. In any case, even if you have a headset, a telephone conversation while driving still reduces concentration, so if the call is important, it is recommended to stop.
3. In theaters, cinemas, museums, temples, libraries, the phone must be turned off or put into silent mode. And, of course, do not use it.
4. And more about the cinema. It is better not to take the phone out of your pocket, case or bag at all, so as not to shine the screen in the dark and not to distract other viewers.
5. Needless to say, rude, harsh, scabrous ringtones on a mobile are not at all witty and annoying others. Especially if they contain profanity.
6. Replacing calls with various pranks is bad form. The caller is unlikely to praise your sense of humor, having heard instead of a dial tone "Prosecutor's office!", Or "Military enlistment office!", Or something like that. Firstly, they may call you with a serious conversation, and secondly, these jokes are already known to everyone and have long been outdated. If you have something like this instead of a dial tone, remove it, especially since this is a paid service.
7. When in cafes, restaurants, shops, public transport, you need to use the phone with the lowest speaker volume as possible.
8. You cannot give a person's mobile phone number to third parties without their permission. The exception is when the number is written on a person's business cards, then it is considered open to everyone.
9. For some reason, many people think that they need to speak very loudly into the phone to be heard. We reveal a terrible secret: the capabilities of all modern devices, without exception, allow you to talk freely at a normal volume level. The subscriber at the other end will perfectly hear you, and the surrounding strangers are of little interest to the content of your conversation.
10. In continuation of the previous point, just in case, we add that not shouting does not mean mumbling and mumbling.
11. There is no need to talk about personal topics in the presence of strangers. However, this applies not only to telephone, but also to ordinary conversations.
12. It is not allowed to film people on a mobile phone without their consent. And it is even more impermissible to post it somewhere later. Although you can make an exception for the "Eyes of the People" competition.
13. It is highly undesirable to demonstrate to everyone around your awareness of the functions of modern smartphones. This can be done in a circle of interests. Many people perceive a mobile phone simply as a means of communication, and it is stupid to assert itself next to them, showing off the bells and whistles of your gadget.
14. Do not write people in your address book under unpleasant nicknames if you do not want to offend them.
15. It is uncultured to listen to music through a speaker, being in a public place or walking down the street, as young people in tracksuits often do with cans of beer or Jaguar in their hands.
16. A headset is a good and comfortable thing, but it's not serious to wear it like an earring on your ear all the time. For example, because people around you will not always understand who you are talking to - with them or on the phone.
17. Etiquette stipulates that ordinary eye-to-eye conversation is more important than telephone conversation. Therefore, you cannot interrupt a normal conversation for a long time by talking on a mobile phone, if this is not necessary.
18. You shouldn't put your phone on the table in a restaurant - it's not a table item. Moreover, talking on a cell phone while eating is generally indecent, and even more so in a restaurant. You can go out into the hall and talk, but not if you came to the restaurant together, because you will leave the person alone at the table.
19. If you're expecting an important phone call during a meeting that you need to answer, let them know in advance. When they call you, apologize, go out and answer.
20. To talk on the phone, move a few meters away from people if possible - respect their personal space.
21. If you get a call and there are a lot of people in the room, take the call, but start talking only after leaving the room. You need to answer the call, because people get nervous when your phone rings for a long time.
22. When you call, ask if it is convenient to speak to the interlocutor. There are, however, clever people who object to this rule and say that if a person answered the call, it is convenient for him. However, this is not always the case. The conversation may not be very urgent, and the person is still very busy, in which case it will be more convenient if you call back later.
23. A typical business conversation on the phone lasts no more than seven to eight minutes. During this time, you need to manage to address the interlocutor by name several times.
24. At the beginning of the conversation, you need to introduce yourself if you have any doubts that you are included in the contact list of the recipient of the call.
25. Avoid lengthy silence when talking on the phone. Unlike usual conversation, here you cannot nod, smile, the interlocutor will not see your gestures and facial expressions, the only available means of communication is voice. Therefore, you can assent, somehow demonstrate with sound that you are listening, clarify.
26. If the call is interrupted, the person who initiated the first call should call back. And the first to hang up should be the one who was called.
27. It will not be superfluous to ask how much time your interlocutor has to talk on the phone. For the most part, this concerns business negotiations.
28. At the end of the conversation, do not forget to thank the interlocutor for their time and information.
29. Calling on weekdays to mobile and home phones before eight in the morning and later than 22 hours is considered bad form.
30. The number of rings during a call should not exceed five. After that, you become obsessive.
31. For business inquiries, it is not recommended to call on Monday morning, Friday afternoon, first and last hours of business hours, and lunchtime, if any. Exceptions are possible here, taking into account the significance of the call.
32. If you called a person and did not get through once, you do not need to drain his battery, trying to get through again and again. It's etiquette to wait two hours, giving him time to call you back after seeing a missed call. If it doesn't, dial it again. If your question is very important and you can't wait, you can try to resume attempts to get through earlier, but don't get carried away. You can try to call a landline work phone, and maybe they will tell you when the addressee will be free. In addition, you can pass on important information to him through the secretary.
33. Other people's phones are a restricted area. You should not read SMS messages, look through the call lists on the phone of another person, whoever you are. Resist the temptation of your curiosity, maintain your self-esteem.
34. Do not call from someone else's phone without the owner's permission and do not answer a call on a phone that does not belong to you.
35. When leaving your workplace, take your phone with you or switch it to silent mode. This means the complete absence of sound, because vibration is sometimes more annoying than a ringtone. While you are away, someone may desperately try to call you, violating paragraph 32 of our rules, thus preventing your colleagues from focusing on work.
36. Don't change your phone number often.
37. If you have two or three numbers, try to use the same one for calls to one subscriber.
38. There is no need to start a conversation with a long prelude, annoying the interlocutor with hypocritical politeness in the form of questions "How are you?", "What's new?" and further down the list. The person on the other end usually guesses that you are calling him with a specific conversation. Therefore, quickly get down to business, and only then you can talk about the rest. Exceptions are cases when the call is actually made in order to find out "how is life."
39. Try not to answer calls in a noisy place or, conversely, somewhere where you have to speak in a whisper.
40. Do not answer the call while standing in line at the supermarket. Remember what comes out of this - you have to simultaneously hold the phone, talk on it, talk to the seller, pay money, put your purchases in a bag.
41. And in general, at the same time talking on a mobile phone and with someone who is nearby, constantly saying: “Yes, I’m not for you” is uncivilized.
42. Also, you should not, while speaking on your mobile, do something else - fry potatoes, iron clothes.
43. Needless to say, it is indecent to talk on the phone with a full mouth. It is even advisable to remove the gum from the mouth.
44. There are individuals who, when dialing a number, make a loud beeping sound. This is also not in line with mobile etiquette, the dialing mode should be silent.
45. No need to write an SMS with the words: “Hello! How are you?" It does not make any sense, except for the following two situations: either you are so indifferent to how the person is doing that you did not bother to call, and you have enough information in a short text message, or, on the contrary, you ask about it so often that he does not have time to accumulate information for a voluminous answer.
46. There is no need to throw "beacons" to people or quickly disconnect by saying: "Call me back!", Except for the circle of the closest people.
47. If a person is on vacation and the work issue can be somehow resolved without him, he does not need to call.
48. There is no need to interrupt the conversation on the phone with the words: "Sorry, I have a second line!" The exceptions are cases when on the second line there is a very, very important call, and on the first - so, chatter in order to kill time, while the first interlocutor will definitely not be offended by you.
49. Being in a company and having a real conversation, you do not need to endlessly text messages - this way you show disrespect for real interlocutors.
50. Do not say "Hello!" To a person if you are not talking to him on the phone. :)

We hope these tips are helpful and reinforce your knowledge of mobile etiquette. We invite you to help us complete this list by participating in the discussion of the article.

There are many opinions on this matter, girls believe that they need to wait for a call and many, in principle, do not call themselves. But who came up with this? Girlfriends whispered, mom or women's magazine?

After all, if you think well, the women's world is about caring for a man and family and the attraction of a man to his world, this is the receiving party. And a girl can show concern with a simple call. After all, a girl needs a good guy? Well, of course! And if a guy is good, which means smart, and rich, because he is smart, and he is kind and good, not because he is rich and smart, but because he strives for something, and does not stand still, then why do not call? The fact is that a good guy will always have a choice and time only plays into his hands. And the girl is a "perishable commodity". Especially if he drinks and smokes.

Very often a girl thinks that she is the navel of the earth, because she is beautiful, sexy and she cannot walk down the street without attention to her person. But she does not understand that those who "knock on her door" need property, like a car, a house or a yacht. It doesn't make sense here. Time passes, as a result, she "jumps out" for the one who turned up richer, thinking that she got a job, but after 10 years she comes to frustration. Or even earlier. But you need to show attention! Frequent cases when, of course, it’s late, and the girl bites her elbows, why didn’t she call sometime. And now she realizes that "the one" was "the same", but he married not her, but a model and lives with her in a luxurious house. And she just thought that the guy should call first ...

Although how to say, if by the word "sex" they meant sexual intercourse, and not love, then it may well be. In those days, it seemed that there was no "deficit" in men, for every woman there was somewhere a man. And it never occurred to them that they needed to call the man and invite him out on a date. What do we have now? Many years have passed, but we still suffer from these stereotypes and are afraid to be the first to call our beloved guy. Horror. What is a woman to do in this situation? How to behave? Everything is not so simple as it seems at first glance, since we do not know exactly how men treat when a woman calls first.

Nowadays young people don't even think about what impression the guys will have of them, they just take a mobile phone and dial its number or just write a message. And there are no problems. They feel free and can do as they see fit. But what do the guys think of them? Is it good when the woman calls first? Is it moral? This is most often thought of by their mothers, who are accustomed to, to put it mildly, different times and values.

Everything is not so scary, sometimes men even have a positive attitude towards such a situation. Due to their constant employment, they do not have time to reach the phone, but this already depends on the men.

According to numerous polls on this topic, men replied that they are very happy when a woman calls first, as this shows her interest in a particular man. And accordingly, he is looking for communication with him. But at the same time, women should also remember that if a man does not call for one day or two, this is not scary, you just need to be patient. You can worry if your soul mate has not dialed your phone number after a week. The main thing in this case is not to be intrusive and show him that you still value yourself highly. It should also be remembered that usually the one who loves calls more often, and your call will flatter any man and increase his self-esteem.

Often sitting in front of the phone, we have a question, like Hamlet's, to call or not to call? Call. Here is the answer from many psychologists. You should not postpone the clarification of the current situation. How do men feel about this behavior? It's safe to say that they will appreciate it. History remembers many cases when a woman called her chosen one first and found excellent excuses for this. And the man himself did not even notice how he had already fallen into her network. A well-thought-out pretext is half the battle. You shouldn't call him with claims that he doesn't call. It only repels men.

Calling first is sometimes scary, because women do not know what to say to a man and do not call for this reason. Sometimes men, which may seem ridiculous, are afraid to be the first to call for the same reason as women. And this is normal, because we never fully know about the feelings of the opposite sex until we hear it from their lips. It turns out that men are as susceptible as women, so they treat everything attentively and sensually.

From all of the above, we can conclude that it does not matter whether the woman calls first or the man. The important thing is that one of them will do it and a new love story may begin to develop. And the world will be filled with joy and love from their beating hearts. At the same time, the main thing is moderation in everything: in calls and words. Remember this before you call the man first.