Many men are afraid of love, fear this feeling. According to psychologists, this happens because a man fears that if he opens up to love, lets it into his soul, this may cause suffering and pain.

Most of them are afraid of refusal, female ridicule, irony in their address, doubts about their qualities. A man certainly needs to know that in the eyes of his beloved he is the strongest, the most intelligent, the most capable, etc. The slightest doubt can hurt him, although he will not show it. Therefore, he prefers to keep his distance, set boundaries to protect himself from potential ones.

Men tend to remember their first love.

It is easier for representatives of the stronger sex to dream about some woman, ideal in their mind, than to build relationships with a real, living representative of the fair sex, who is here, nearby. Here it is, with all its advantages and disadvantages, as it is.

Therefore, they are rather inclined to idealize their first love, remember her all their lives, attribute extraordinary qualities to her, compare her with real women. This ideal inspires them, gives them strength.

By the way, this is what medieval knights did. It was common among them. They worshiped the ideal, served the lady of the heart. Basically, the role of such an ideal was played by a married woman, standing higher in social status, that is, initially unattainable. But it was so pleasant to dream of her on harsh campaigns.

But we, women, differ from the stronger sex in that we know how to love the one who is near. A real living man is more important to us.

Sexual paradoxes

A man who is afraid to open up to big, true love can build much easier with a woman who does not touch his soul than with the one who really cares about him. He has great sex with his unloved. We can say that he uses it as a sexual instrument for his own satisfaction.

And with the one that he madly loves, about which he dreams, sometimes misfires happen. This is because he is too sensitive to her. He idolizes and idealizes her, so he does not perceive her simply as a sexual partner. She is something more for him, he puts her on a pedestal. Is it possible to sleep with an ideal? ..

Marry unloved people, but remember their first love

Men often get married "on the fly", because of the onset of pregnancy. Because of this, they marry an unloved woman with whom they simply had a sexual relationship. Yes, I liked my friend, she was pleasant, but the man did not consider her the main love of his life, did not see her as his wife, the mother of his children.

Why, then, did he live with her, you ask? Because it was convenient for him: regular sex, order in the house, lunch, cleanliness, etc.
Men tend to use what goes into their hands, why not? And what about love? As they say, he can be in search, even living with another.

(That is why, according to census data, there are always more married women than married men. It's just that women living in a common-law marriage consider themselves married, and their partners consider themselves free, single).

Rational thinking is the essence of a man

Another reason is the rational thinking characteristic of the stronger sex. Before making a decision, they ponder, weigh and prioritize rational arguments. To admit that you have strong feelings, love - means to admit responsibility for your beloved. They are afraid of this, they do not want to take on such a load. They think: “What can I give her? What am I capable of? "

If a man considers himself insufficiently fulfilled and independent (in any sense), then he prefers to close himself in front of the feeling. It's easier.

Of course, strong love can sweep away all obstacles, like a stream breaks a dam. But women often do not allow a strong masculine feeling to mature properly. Attraction, yes. But this is an instinct, not a feeling.

Now it is customary to immediately start living in. In this case, the man gets everything at once. Why would he want something? Everything is already there ...

Some men even cry at the thought that the woman, the one he loves so much, wants to leave him. Women have developed intuition, but men also have feelings that we sometimes don't even think about. Which of the women has thought at least once, but what will the man be like after parting? Will he be able to live without us? Will he find his future darling, or will he sit at home and dream of a departed love?

Men are very sensitive to the departure of their beloved, and can rarely look at her calmly when they see their ex. Most often, they do not know how to properly react to the presence of their beloved woman, albeit a former one. And most importantly, what do women think at this moment, how do men react when they are seen? And this is very important sometimes, when a woman hopes to return him, if she does not find a future chosen one.

In our life, it often happens that men have mistresses, which, of course, no one knows about, or only his confidants know, who constantly communicate with him. But after a while they part, leaving behind either pleasant memories or not so much. And then men do not know how to react when they see their former mistress.

There were many cases of such meetings. One should be reminded here, but it is painfully remarkable. One day a man came to a party thrown by his friend. It was very good and fun until he made eye contact with Elena, who had once abandoned him. Their gazes crossed and, like some old, forgotten feeling slipped out. Nobody expected this. Half an hour later, both of them were gone, and in the morning the neighbors saw them leaving his apartment. It seemed that the past love did not go away. He was happy and did not want to part with her. In the end, they did get married and are still happy. But such happy ends are good only for individual occasions, but in fact it rarely happens that Cinderella finds her prince.

So how do men react when they see their former lover? Nobody will tell you this, but you know for sure that if their relationship was beautiful and tender, he will look at her with bated breath. It may not last long, but it is.

Thinking about how men react to such a situation should give us thoughts, and what kind of relationship they had in reality. Sometimes it is easy for them to endure such meetings, and there are times that it is very difficult. This is perfectly demonstrated by the next couple, albeit the former.

One summer a man came with his new lover to the store to buy a new thing for his new darling. The entire staff saw how he courted her, kissed her at every step and hugged her. It seemed that it could be more beautiful than their relationship, but ... Alas, none of them thought that his former lover was standing nearby and looked at them with bated breath. She was terribly hurt, and he wanted to show it to her that he was happy. But according to psychologists, this is just for show. By this he wanted to show that he had found his new beloved. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to read between the lines of young people, to think why they are doing this, in fact, this is very important. How do men react in such cases, you ask? Yes, in different ways, completely unforeseen. Always look them in the eye carefully to find out what is in their head. The eyes are the mirror of the soul, it is they who will tell you how to behave in such a situation. And don't forget that men are as vulnerable as you are.

Due to my extreme lightness, they were often jealous of me and bitterly - of acquaintances, unfamiliar and completely unfamiliar young ladies, friends, relatives and even work. But the most perverted form of jealousy was jealousy of the so-called "ex."

And since I have quite a lot of “former” ones, and you cannot remember all of them at once, then there is plenty of space where the complexes and fears of the “real” can unfold. And since I have a persistent and rejecting immunity to possessive grips, such a "real" one quickly passed into the category of "former". I hope that at least then she understood all the groundlessness of her accusations - they do not return to such.

Of course, when trying to reason and direct our relationship in a mutually satisfying direction, I blamed her inferiority complex, which gives nourishment, the lack of confidence in me, which I nourished with my superficial attitude to the institution of marriage. To the desire to drive me into blinders and hobble, I objected with sincere bewilderment - would someone like me hobbled, and why does she need a blinkered man. But most importantly, with resentment at the expressed distrust of me, I argued that the past was gone and there was no return to it. In a sexual sense. And for communication there are no boundaries by age, gender, or "there was something". Since all my best mistresses became good friends to me, I saw no reason not to communicate with them at the end of the novel. So I said to the one who was listed as "real" at the moment.

But I was cunning. Since the end of the novel by no means meant the end of friendships, they often gave a relapse and sexual. And what could be better than friendly sex with the one whose magic points you already know, and she is aware of your preferences! Sighting contacts are long gone and sex takes place at the pinnacle of technology and intimate relationships. And the farewell is not burdened with post-coital tears in the style of Anna Karenina, which is good news. And since such a woman has a lot of positive sides, then she should promise that she will correct her negative ones, because of which, in fact, they parted, then it may well be that I would rather return to her than listen to jealous tantrums of the "real" ...

And those “exes” who left me really “catch”. Imagine, this happened even to me. I still cannot understand how - I, so smart, beautiful and sexy, could have been abandoned in the midst of a tumultuous relationship. Offended male pride cries out for satisfaction, and therefore it is worth calling such a “former” and saying that she never found better than me, I will immediately rush to console either her or my wounded ego.

But the most dangerous "former" is the one who rejected outright and never gave up. But I harbored some kind of feelings, and not just any, but the most sublime, and I didn't even have a chance to prove myself. And the image of a failed beloved is drawn to me in the most rosy colors and it seems that she is completely devoid of flaws, which compares favorably with today's "real". But most importantly, she comes into my sexual fantasies and does things there that fade all my most outspoken teenage dreams. Here they go to such a "former" with a wave of a finger. And I will go. I have to make sure that it matches the image from which I have wet dreams at night.

Most of all, I am touched by the "former", with whom they parted peacefully and calmly, and who did not make themselves felt for a long time. But as soon as the next young lady appeared in my life, such a “former” immediately reminded of herself. Of course, how could I forget her and find a replacement so quickly! The offended female vanity drives her to prove to me, and most importantly, to herself, that she is better than this random upstart in my life, and I understand and admit this. Well, why not please a woman? I will understand, admit and prove by deeds.

And what I really think, I will keep to myself. There have been pleasant moments in the past, and they overshadow unpleasant memories. But this is not a reason to return to them forever. And sometimes - why not?

There is hardly a woman who does not want the night with her to overshadow all his previous sexual experience in the memory of a man. And if you suddenly have to part, I would make you compare all the following partners with her. But how many succeed?

Experiments

As a rule, everyone, especially men, remembers their first sexual experience. However, if for a woman this is more connected with romantic experiences, then for a man this is a certain stage, the baptism of fire of the male. Overflowing with testosterone, adolescents are like ducklings who first saw the water and, unable to think about anything else, run a race to the reservoir. You can't argue with physiology.

Vsevolod, 25 years old: “All that I remember isthis is a wild desire in half with embarrassment. Yet -chuckles from their more experienced buddies. Name? Yes, of course I remember. Her name was Sveta. She herself did not really know how, and our sex was more like a puppy fuss. I also remember her blue with daisies and how funny she wrinkled her nose. Then we didn't talk to her anymore. "

A man will remember his very first woman. She might even remember her name. But, most likely, she will not become a standard for him - it is unfair, but a fact. And only rare lucky people after years will be able to say about their first experience: “It was a real Woman. Wise and understanding. Thanks her!".

And talk? ..

So, what else can men never forget, except for rough sex itself? After interviewing acquaintances, I was surprised to find that for many of them the most memorable are ... conversations about sex. And the point is not even how useful the conversation “about it” with the opposite sex is from a purely applied point of view. The point is, this conversation can be very sexual - and sometimes even more exciting than the sex itself.

Oleg, 32 years old: “A woman who is not afraid to talk about sex and knows how to do it beautifully -goddess. I'm serious. I was lucky with my girlfriend, she is just that. Our conversations in bed turn me on no less than, for example, her naked breasts. When she says in a hoarse and deeply passionate voice what exactly and how she will do with me -at this moment the world turns upside down, and there is no one left in it except the two of us.

Men love to talk about sex -but usually they only talk about him with men, and make love with women. The unexpected intersection of these two seemingly parallel lines creates a unique sense of intimacy that will forever remain in memory as an important event -almost as important as the first sexual experience. "

To teach and learn: "Oh, how many wonderful discoveries we have ..."

Even the most highly skilled Casanovas have sex gaps that can and should be filled. If a man experiences with a woman what he has never experienced before, he will not be able to forget her. And it’s not so much about some supertechniques and other bed tricks, but about more subtle things.

Anton, 30 years old: “I'm far from a beginner in sex. And I'll tell you what -sex without what is called "atmosphere" -this is pure mechanics. Men will always appreciate women who know how to create a special atmosphere when seemingly the most innocent and simple things become significant and very sexy. When a woman lightly touches the back of her head with her fingertips -just like that, in passing, when she looks at me in a special way, when she subtly makes it clear how desirable I am and how she wants me -it is maddening. My girlfriend and I have our own, special love language. Somehow imperceptibly Lena taught me to speak it. There are so many semitones and so much passion in it! .. ".

On the other hand, men also remember the role of a teacher. Or an insidious seducer - the difference is not as great as it might seem. The whole point is for the man to feel how strong a change has taken place with the woman in his bed, precisely with him. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with playing along a little with a man in this.

Let's compliment each other

It turns out that there are not so many women in the world who know how to accept and say compliments.

Alexander, 33 years old:“When a man says something simple and sincere to you -hide self-criticism to hell, my advice to you, dear girls. The man praised the ass -vivat priest, even if it is far from “ideals”. I admired the shape (size) of the breast -rejoice at this, and most importantly -show how happy you are. Smile back, let him know that it is his opinion, and not the opinion of Vyacheslav Doronin, that is important to you. Or are you really sure what all men dream of?

And further -if you are told that men love with their ears less than with their eyes,don't believe it. A kind word and the cat is pleased. And how nice it is for a man -not convey! Most men are ready for days -without sleep, rest and even without sex -listen to odes to your member and areas adjacent to it. Do not wrinkle your nose -this organ is worthy of your most sincere admiration. Just look how dashingly he defies the laws of gravity, just to please a woman! "

The inability to accept kind words in your address is a sure way to problems in relationships, because over time, such words will sound less and less often. Do you want to be unforgettable? Learn to give and receive compliments when you are making love.

Ideal pose

You need to be extremely careful with bed acrobatics. In an effort to make sex exactly unforgettable, many men and women try to reproduce the wildest positions from the bad retellings of the Kama Sutra. At best, this leads to complete exhaustion and the decision to "postpone until another time", and at worst it can end with the anecdote "Doctor, unravel us!"

It should not be overlooked that all sex guides list non-standard sex positions as a way to add variety to sex. Such a sexual experience will become unforgettable, rather, not in the best sense: a few tedious physical exercises and an orgasm, which is no longer perceived as a culmination, but as getting rid of suffering.

Igor, 39 years old: “There is nothing more delightful than the banal“ rider ”pose in our sexual arsenal with my wife. At first, we thought sex was all aboutendless variety, But, fortunately, they very quickly realized that they do not seek from goodness. I would advise not to overreact, but in detail, to the smallest detail, "polish" what is familiar and natural, find a common "point of your assemblage." Believe me, when there is such contact, even the missionary position will not bore you. "

Be that as it may, the sexual position for ideal sex is a highly individual matter, since each couple has their own preferences. Just remember that the best is the enemy of the good.

Man and woman

What woman will never stop loving men?

What kind of woman will men love forever?

Characteristics of a woman who will never be able and will not want to stop loving….

Now you will seek in yourself for what is listed here:

1. Unobtrusiveness.

Men are pleased when they feel at least a little bit of freedom. They cannot be controlled by calls and messages, words and instructions. Men love to dominate, not obey.

2. Intelligence.

It's very difficult with silly girls. And not interesting, of course. It's good if the couple has the same intellectual level. It helps the relationship last. Last, develop, be remembered….

3. Sociability.

Guys will not like girls who are silent for a very long time and speak very little. Pauses in conversations - relationship failure and frustration. Every couple knows this.

4. Accuracy.

It is less in men than in women. Therefore, it is appreciated, very, by the last. They do not lose hope that they will be able to "catch" accuracy. Someone even succeeds.

5. Loyalty.

Without loyalty, you can't talk about any good relationship. Loyalty is prized by men. Despite the fact that they are not particularly inclined to always keep such a "treasure".

6. Stylish If a girl dresses stylishly, it is very exciting for a man. By the way, it does not leave him indifferent even when the clothes are not very frank.

WITH We will not continue the list of characteristics. There is a more interesting idea! Let's admire the comments of girls and women. There are ten comments. We save the names so that each of the "courageous" can find themselves:

1. Glafirochka: “A man will never stop loving a beautiful woman. While she is beautiful, she is interesting in general to many men in the world. It's not for nothing that men buy up all the magazines with beauties. And the sites are ready to "hang" for days. Beauty is stronger than any other power. "
2. Violetka: “Passionate girls and women will always be in fashion! There are many ugly ones, but they are so passionate that even one normal man cannot resist. An intimate life is a very important life for any man. "
3. Zlatochka: “Sociable girls are a treasure! I'm not a guy, but I know very well what happens when a girl shows her lack of communication. She quickly bores her darling! "
4. Zemfira: “I want to say right away…. I'm not a singer! My parents just called me that. In principle, I am a fan of my "eponymous" singer, but I am writing here not for this reason. I believe that a man will never stop loving an extraordinary girl! Such, which does not exist. That is, she lives only in a single copy, or something. I don’t know how to put it more precisely ”.
5. Irene: “Um! I am with all parts of the body for the brain. And I know that many guys will share my opinion, even though they will hide it in the depths of the soul. In order not to break stereotypes. Men are generally afraid of innovation. "
6. Olga: “Every woman should have everything in moderation! If there is a lot of something, this “something” really interferes. If there is a "uniform" combination - great! By the way, it can be corrected, supported, and not missed. "
7. Lolita: “The body is important to men! The body and its parameters. Or have you not seen how men gaze at the long legs of women, at their large breasts, at their thin waist? It is impossible to deceive nature. You yourself understand everything. "
8. Varovarochka: “The only one! This is who a man will never stop loving. If you really fall in love, you will always love - always. Romantic but realistic. "
9. Masha: “You can stop loving any woman. And a man, in general. How lucky anyone, on the very little thing! I didn’t believe and don’t believe in the eternity of love, therefore I will refrain from commenting on what follows. "
10. Tinka: “Love…. Do men know how to love? Sorry for the rude word, but it is true! I'm right! Think…. Otherwise, you will lose a lot. "

Now we will kill myths and correct inaccuracies.

D evushki! You can stop loving beautiful people. If there is no spiritual beauty in them. It is valued more than external, although not everyone is ready to admit it.

And you can stop loving the passionate. Passion has the property of "extinction". It will end, it will pass like summer, winter, autumn or spring.

Body? Yes, guys love beautiful figures and breasts. Well, they love cute faces just as much. But their soul is still important to them!

Men don't need mind. That is, it is necessary, but they do not immediately fall in love with the mind and the intellectual level. The mind is appreciated when it can be combined with beauty. But there are also exceptions.

By the way, if you smoked and then quit smoking…. It doesn't change anything in feelings. In general, men, if they fall in love, never pay attention to bad habits. They just ask later that the girls take care of their health.

Now let's reveal an important secret. Here is the question and the answer to it: - What woman will a man never stop loving? The one that truly loves, adores, adores and values. There is real love in the world. But it does not come immediately. It is not immediately possible to notice it. Do not refer to male polygamy all the time! Men know how to love everything. Even those who have several mistresses. It will sound silly, of course, but it is.

The story of a girl.

“My name is Catherine. I have been married for over five years. I love my husband to the point of madness. And he loves me, even though he “walks to the left”. He told me about it himself. But I believe in his feelings, because he proved them to me many times. My friends say that I am a fool, and I dare not argue with that. I love my Edward. I can't help it with love. And why do anything. If everything suits me? Let my girlfriends deal with their personal lives, but they don’t climb into mine. They will climb - I don't know them anymore. And let them think what they want about me. I appreciate the sincerity of my spouse. And it would be much harder for me if I learned about the mistresses not from him, but from friends. Everyone builds and chooses his own life. We have wonderful children and I am not going to lose my happiness. I love! This is what is most important. My husband tells me that it is impossible to stop loving me. ”Many, of course, did not approve and condemned. But don't do that. No one is ever safe from anything in life. Life is one sheer accident. And someone knows how to dispose of it.