Harmful Addictions 

How not to be afraid of the upcoming birth: advice from psychologists. How not to be afraid of childbirth the right attitude

Expecting a child is a wonderful period, despite all its difficulties. But the closer the moment of meeting with the baby, the stronger the fear of childbirth, which not only seriously overshadows the pleasant expectation, but can also harm. So let's beat him!

What is dangerous fear of childbirth

Motherhood is the main purpose of a woman. And there is no greater happiness than to pick up your blood for the first time. But the upcoming birth in some expectant mothers causes a real panic, which, being completely irrational, can cause harm. Namely:

  • the baby in the womb feels all the experiences of the mother and worries himself;
  • during childbirth, there is absolutely no need to panic - despite the pain, a woman needs to maintain maximum self-control and clearly follow all the instructions of the doctor and obstetrician;
  • Fear and pain are interconnected phenomena. The more you are afraid, the more painful childbirth will be.

But it is the pain that scares us in the first place, isn't it? It turns out a vicious circle, breaking which is a paramount task.

On the causes of fear

Where does fear come from, and what exactly is the woman in labor afraid of? It would seem, what could be more natural for a woman than childbirth? But in our imagination, the birth process seems to be something very scary and dangerous. Why is this happening?

Perhaps the roots of the fear of childbirth stretch from past centuries, when the mortality of women in labor and their babies was too high. Plus, the stories of our grandmothers and mothers about Soviet maternity hospitals with dull walls and rude staff. In addition, complaints about doctors today are found everywhere: in newspapers, on TV, on Internet forums, etc. How not to be afraid to get into medical facilities in such an atmosphere? Uncertainty (if the birth is the first) is also depressing! It is difficult to imagine, and even more so to predict how everything will go. And this is perhaps the most important factor.

When asked what exactly scares in childbirth, most women answer:

  • pain;
  • possible death;
  • the birth of a child with disabilities.

Yes, it is so frightening that some future mothers, having learned about their interesting situation, begin to think about terminating their pregnancy and about being ready to go for a caesarean section, if only not to give birth in a natural way.

Pregnancy and childbirth is an important work, the result of which will be a happy motherhood. And in order to overcome the fear of the moment of delivery, you will also have to work hard. Psychologists and their valuable advice will help us with this:

  • First of all, women in an interesting position It is recommended to protect yourself from any "horror stories". On the contrary, you should focus on happy stories, which are much more than sad ones. And just - look around and look how many mothers with children are around. All of them went through childbirth and did not die. You can also raise the statistics and find out the percentage of adverse outcomes during childbirth. It is negligible, and this is a weighty argument to stop shaking like an aspen leaf, drawing pictures in your imagination one more terrible than the other.
  • In order not to be tormented by the unknown, it is useful read special literature and find out how the birth of a child goes. This will help to realize that we are talking about a natural process for the female body, and there is nothing to be afraid of. In addition, deep theoretical knowledge will help during childbirth not to be a defenseless patient in the hands of physicians, but a full participant in the process, completely in control of the situation.
  • Instead of passively indulging in fear, get busy! Take a notepad and pen, write down a plan of action that needs to be done before giving birth, and scrupulously implement the plan. Gather things for the maternity hospital, buy everything you need for the baby, clean up the house, prepare the nursery, decide on the maternity hospital, arrange with the doctor who will conduct the birth, etc. Such useful work will move dark thoughts away.

Valuable advice is given by psychologist Marina Antonova. She says:

“It is very important to recognize your fear. Do not hide from him, but look him in the face and admit that you are afraid. Then "sort out the fear on the shelves." Be specific about what scares you. And for each point put forward their counterarguments. As a result, fear will not resist your logic and retreats. You need to be honest with yourself and with your loved ones. “Turn on” pride and pretend to be an iron lady is not worth it. After all, the support and understanding of loved ones work wonders. By the way, partnerships are possible today. You can take your husband or another relative with you who will make sure that everything goes well, which means that there is nothing to be afraid of.

The fear that the birth is getting closer, occurs even a month and a half before the birth. Almost every woman at some point realizes it and tries to cope with it. But how? Of course, each of us has our own recipe for this. But one article helped me personally. It said that, firstly, such a fear occurs in most women, especially before the first birth. And the realization that this fear is not unusual is a little sobering. Secondly, they suggested that perhaps your child is afraid of this moment no less than you, because ahead is something unknown and still unknown. Probably, at such a time you already feel like a mother enough to immediately pull yourself together and ... not excite the child. Moreover, you realize that at the decisive moment you are not alone, and both you and your baby will have to go through it at the same time. As well as the fact that the state of your baby depends on your mood and psychological attitude.

Do you feel your maternal instinct kicking in? Calm down baby, everything will be fine. When you start to worry about another, fear for yourself fades into the background.
And knowing what will happen to you and at what moment helps to get rid of the fear of the unknown. Many people watch special films about how childbirth goes long before that. Someone is reading about it. I had to re-read the chapter on the stages of labor and how to help yourself at one time or another. And, to be honest, when you know how to behave, what to do and what to expect, you monitor all processes partly from the outside. It's easier. Although, perhaps not all women are so worried about how to do everything right, and just follow their natural instinct.

But there is still some time ahead. You still go out for walks, even if only for a short while, because it is wrong to lie still from morning till night. You need at least a little to disperse the blood and work up an appetite. Moreover, in the last days of pregnancy, you are tired of discomfort and intuitively ready for the birth of a child.
Perhaps it makes sense to recall the methods of breathing.

Several stages of childbirth

Of course, each birth proceeds individually. But in general, the stages of childbirth are unchanged.

First stage may last from several hours to several days. This, in fact, is the stage from the first rare contractions to the moment when they are already strong enough and occur at shorter intervals - frequent contractions. This stage begins with the discharge of the mucous plug, after which the cervix gradually opens. As a result, it should open up to ten centimeters, then it is considered that it is completely open.

What can and should be done at this stage is to relax in between contractions. Now the body does all the work.

Second stage lasts from one to three hours. And it ends with the birth of a child. And this stage requires active work from a woman. To relieve very severe pain, it is recommended to press on the sacrum area, and breathe intensively between contractions.

In a squatting position, the birth of a child is believed to be assisted by the force of gravity. You can use this advice, especially since now many clinics have abandoned childbirth on a gynecological chair, as it was before. And in this case, the woman has the opportunity to choose the position herself, in which, according to her feelings, it is easier for her to endure contractions. Helps relax muscles between contractions and massages the neck and shoulder muscles.

Third stage
After the baby is born, the uterus rests for some time. And then it starts to contract again so that the baby's place (placenta) comes out. But this stage is already painless.
For a few hours and for the next two or three days, take every opportunity to rest to recuperate.

Every pregnant woman dreams of meeting her baby, but at the same time she is very worried about how “Day X” will go. Almost everyone is afraid of childbirth: primiparas are afraid of the unknown, and the “experienced” already understand how difficult it will be for them. And, despite the fact that fear usually does not bring benefits, especially in the birth process, it is normal and natural to feel it on the eve of childbirth. The main thing is that excitement and anxiety do not become pathological. In this article, we will talk about how to stop panicking about childbirth and tune in to a positive wave.

Knowledge will help not to be afraid of childbirth!

It is probably impossible to give a definite answer to the question of how not to be afraid to give birth. However, everyone knows a simple truth: usually we are afraid of what we do not know and do not understand. In this connection, we advise expectant mothers not to ignore information about the course of childbirth in the hope that "they will tell everything in the maternity hospital, my job is to come there." Nowadays, we have many opportunities to learn about how childbirth goes, primarily thanks to the Internet. However, information should be dosed and filtered - choose to watch those videos where women in labor are calm and behave adequately; Do not delve too deeply into the study of any one topic. Remember, you can't predict everything. Your main task is to realize and psychologically accept what will happen to you.

The basics that are important for every pregnant woman to know are the stages of the upcoming birth. The longest will be the period of contractions, which over time become stronger and more frequent. It can take 7-12 hours. During contractions, it is important for a woman in labor to breathe properly, providing the baby with oxygen, and between contractions, try to relax as much as possible. Then attempts begin, which last an average of half an hour to an hour and a half, and the long-awaited baby is finally born. Separation of the placenta is called the third stage of labor. Primiparas usually do not even notice this stage, being in the euphoria of meeting with their beloved baby.

Careful preparation for childbirth: breathing techniques, Kegel exercises, relaxation techniques

It is not for nothing that in preparing for childbirth such close attention is paid to teaching proper breathing. Breathing deeply during contractions means providing the baby with oxygen during the muscular work of the uterus, preventing hypoxia, and, in addition, largely anesthetizing contractions. Concentrating on breathing, the woman is distracted from the pain, "withdraws into herself." At the first stage of labor (the period of contractions), it is necessary to breathe as deeply as possible, slowly and measuredly. The more the uterus opens, the faster the breathing should become. When the time comes to push, you will need to breathe quickly and shallowly. Thus, you will save your own strength and help the baby. It’s good if, during the process of childbirth, your husband or other close person who shares this exciting moment with you will remind you of proper breathing.

Kegel exercises are mandatory not only for pregnant women, but in anticipation of childbirth, they become especially relevant. Thanks to these exercises, you can “pump up” the muscles responsible for moving the baby along the birth canal, make this process less traumatic and painful, and avoid tears. Kegel exercises also facilitate postpartum recovery. They are performed extremely simply, since they are based on one action: it is necessary to squeeze and unclench the intimate muscles located between the vagina and the anus.

When preparing for childbirth, think about what will help you relax during the contractions. Rehearse comfortable, comfortable poses (on all fours, sitting on a fitball, standing with support from a partner). Massage of the lower back, back and neck by a birth partner, immersion in a warm bath or shower is very helpful. Some women are helped by acupuncture, aromatherapy, music.

Choice of maternity hospital, doctor and support of relatives

Many women are afraid to give birth because they have to find themselves in a completely unfamiliar environment, to trust in such an intimate and psychologically stressful moment to people whom they see for the first time. And it does not matter that these are qualified specialists, because in fact, few of us enjoy being in medical institutions. In order not to worry about this topic, it is advisable for the expectant mother to decide in advance at least with the maternity hospital to which she prefers to go. If you have the opportunity to choose childbirth under a contract - great! Surely, the confidence that the birth will go according to plan, in a comfortable environment, will do its job, and you will feel much calmer. If you are going to have a regular, “free” birth, it makes sense to at least visit one or more maternity hospitals in order to understand where you will be most comfortable. The choice of a particular maternity hospital is your full right. The ambulance doctors should listen to the wishes of the woman in labor and take her to wherever she says, if this, of course, is possible.

Whether to take a husband or another close person (mother, sister, mother-in-law) to the birth is up to you. However, for many women in labor, the help of relatives is an invaluable plus. A doctor or midwife is unlikely to sit next to you during the entire period of contractions, and your beloved husband, most likely, will not leave for a second, give you some water if necessary, give you a massage or wash your face. And at the most crucial moment, during attempts, he may well leave the delivery room if you do not want him to see all the “details” of the process.

A positive attitude is the key to a successful birth!

Both in anticipation and during childbirth, it is important to remain calm and confident that everything will be fine. Don't let the inevitable excitement turn into panic! In anticipation of the baby, try to think about pleasant things - imagine:

  • What will your newborn be like?
  • how wonderful it will be to hold him in your arms and breastfeed him;
  • how strong and loving your family will be with the advent of a child;
  • how great it will be to finally realize that pregnancy and childbirth are over, you did it!
  • how can you lie on your stomach again with a clear conscience.

And in relation to childbirth, you need to understand: your main task is to learn how to relax between contractions. The uterus is a muscular organ, and the fear of a woman leads to the fact that the muscles tense up, the cervix does not open well, and childbirth is delayed. Therefore, calmness, relaxation and relaxation are in your best interest. Do not tune in to wild pain. Feelings at the peak of the fight largely depend on your breathing and psychological state. And most importantly, do not forget that soon everything will end, and your beloved baby will be next to you!

Thoughts of childbirth often poison expectant mothers during the last happy weeks of pregnancy. In order not to focus on your fears, we recommend that you familiarize yourself with the advice of psychologists below. So, what will help not to be afraid of labor pain, according to experts:

  1. Communication with other pregnant women. The feeling that you are not alone in your experiences is very comforting. In addition, it is likely that you will learn something new from your friends about pain relief and relaxation techniques.
  2. Dress nicely and comfortably, please yourself.
  3. Decorate your home, surround yourself with pleasant little things. Buy fresh flowers.
  4. Ask your husband to massage your feet and lower back more often (at the same time he will practice this wonderful pain relief technique).
  5. Pleasant smells - lavender, rose, jasmine - help to calm down a lot. Arrange yourself periodically spa treatments, in the salon or at home.
  6. Decoctions of soothing herbs (motherwort, valerian, oregano, lemon balm, sweet clover) in the absence of contraindications and allergies can help you feel more relaxed about childbirth.

How not to be afraid to give birth a second time?

Fear of second birth is an extremely urgent problem. Of course, some mothers have a positive experience of the first birth, and in an effort to give life to another baby, they are not afraid of anything. But those who are afraid, still more. Women usually really want to become a mother for the second time, but to give birth ...

What should pregnant women do for the second time? How not to be afraid to have a second child? Let's just say - you already carry a baby under your heart, whom you love and are waiting for. In any case, you will have to survive the birth. Of course, there is also the option of a caesarean section, but you can probably guess that it is far from the best.

In fact, giving birth a second time is likely to be easier. The second birth is an opportunity not to repeat the mistakes made during the first. You already have experience, you know what to expect. Your body is more experienced, and the uterus is likely to open faster. Do not get too carried away with studying the forums: the fact that someone had a second birth more difficult than the first does not mean at all that it will be the same for you. And our brain really “likes” to cling to negative information.

How not to be afraid of childbirth: books to help expectant mothers

Even knowing how childbirth goes, having mastered breathing techniques and successfully “graduating” courses for pregnant women, women continue to worry and worry. It may be useful for expectant mothers to read several books about childbirth by famous authors:

1. Grantley Dick-Reid "Childbirth Without Fear" . The wonderful English obstetrician Grantley Dick-Read explains in his book to women that childbirth is not suffering at all. According to him, it is the attitude to pain, fear and panic that turns a natural process into something terrible. Dick-Read considers the method of general use of anesthesia in childbirth to be completely wrong. The original title of the book, "Natural Birth", gave its name to a whole branch of obstetrics. The author of Childbirth Without Fear helps pregnant women understand that giving birth is the highest destiny of a woman, and this process should not be painful and frightening.

2. William and Martha Sears "Preparing for Childbirth" . Someone who, and the Sears spouses know exactly how not to be afraid to give birth, because they themselves are the parents of eight children! In addition, William and Martha Sears are professional doctors and midwives. In their book, the Sears talk about the importance of a mother's behavior during childbirth, the need to take responsibility for what is happening, not relying only on doctors. The authors are convinced that childbirth is a natural and wonderful process that should be harmonious and bring joy, not suffering.

3. Michel Auden "Reborn Childbirth" . French obstetrician and publicist Michel Auden is an amazing person. He is already 85 years old, of which he devoted 21 years to practical obstetrics, taking 1000 births a year. His scientific works, books, lectures, seminars and his own work had a huge impact on the modern practice of obstetrics. The woman in labor is no longer perceived as a passive object subjected to various medical interventions. Michel Auden is a supporter of a calm environment in childbirth, the use of a pool, and an opponent of unreasonable caesarean sections.

You can find these books in our

How labor begins: contractions

At the end of pregnancy, expectant mothers are faced with preliminary (training) contractions, or Braxton-Hicks contractions. These are periodic short tensions (contractions) of the uterus that do not lead to the opening of the cervix and the birth of a baby - they just prepare the uterus and the baby for childbirth.

A logical question arises: how to distinguish preliminary contractions from contractions that indicate the onset of labor?

Firstly, you can follow the frequency of contractions, i.e. count the gaps between them. If these are labor pains, then the intervals between them are gradually shortened, and their strength and duration increase, which is not observed during training contractions. To determine this, you need to take a watch, a pen and write down how long the contractions last and what are the intervals between them. In this case, it will be clearly visible whether childbirth begins or while this is only a “training”.

Secondly, you can take a shower. From warm water, preliminary contractions become weaker, less frequent or disappear altogether, and labor pains will only become felt softer, while their frequency and strength will not change.

Third , you can drink 2 tablets of NO-SHPY or PAPAVERINA. If these are preparatory contractions, they will either become weaker or stop altogether, since these drugs are antispasmodics and relax smooth muscles, including the muscles of the uterus. If the contractions are generic, there will be no effect.

How labor begins: discharge of amniotic fluid

About 15% of all births begin precisely with the discharge of amniotic fluid, when there are no contractions yet. Usually, the waters leave at the same time, i.e. there is a rupture of the fetal bladder, and all the water that is between the cervix and the baby's head (in the case of head presentation) or another presenting part of the child immediately flows out. It is extremely difficult to miss this moment. Firstly, this happens regardless of the desire of the pregnant woman - involuntarily (as opposed to, for example, urination). Secondly, amniotic fluid has the same temperature as our body, i.e. about 37 o C.

It is very important to remember the color of the amniotic fluid. They may be clear or yellowish in color. If they are green, this indicates that the child is already suffering. Be sure to tell the doctor at the maternity hospital when the waters broke and what color they were: this is important for choosing the tactics of childbirth. Even if the rupture of amniotic fluid occurs in the shower, the change in water temperature is difficult to miss; in addition, water will leak in the future.

It is important to remember that the outflow of amniotic fluid is onset of labor. Therefore, you need to immediately go to the hospital, even if you do not feel contractions. This is very important to do for several reasons.

Firstly , it is important to control the position of the child. When the water is poured out, a handle or a loop of the umbilical cord may fall out - and the woman in labor must be given appropriate assistance so that the mother and baby do not suffer.

Secondly , a long (anhydrous) interval in childbirth (more than 12 hours) increases the risk of intrauterine infection of the child and the development of infectious complications after childbirth in the mother (for example, inflammation of the uterine mucosa - endometritis), which also requires some help: in this case, it is necessary to develop management tactics childbirth and as early as possible to begin the prevention of infection.

Option three - leakage of amniotic fluid

Leakage occurs due to a high rupture of the fetal bladder, i.e. when the gap does not occur near the cervix, but much higher. In this case, there will be no simultaneous discharge of amniotic fluid - they will flow out gradually, drop by drop.

At the end of pregnancy, a woman has more abundant liquid discharge from the genital tract. This is normal and occurs due to hormonal changes. Shortly before childbirth, the cervix begins to “ripen”, and when it opens slightly, the mucous plug located in her canal leaves the pregnant woman. The cork looks like a clot of yellowish or brown mucus, due to the presence of blood streaks in it. How to distinguish discharge or detached mucous plug from leaking amniotic fluid? To do this, you need to put a gasket and observe: if the gasket remains dry for some time (about 20 minutes), it is most likely a discharge; if it immediately becomes wet (changed again - it quickly got wet again) - this is water leaking.

If there is a suspicion that the rupture of the fetal bladder has occurred and water is leaking, you should immediately go to the hospital. In the emergency department, a swab will be taken from the birth canal to the amniotic fluid. If leakage is confirmed, this is considered the beginning of labor.

Childbirth is a long process. The first birth lasts an average of 12-14 hours, the next - 6-8. And even rapid childbirth is at least 3-4 hours. If there is a fear of “not getting” to the maternity hospital, it is better to choose a maternity hospital closer to the house where the expectant mother lives, so that the road to it takes no more than 1 hour. Realizing that childbirth has begun, you must immediately go to the hospital or call an ambulance.

If you are afraid to get stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the maternity hospital, you need to know that in most cities a specialized obstetric and gynecological ambulance team is organized to go to women in labor. This team includes midwives and obstetrician-gynecologists. This car has everything you need for childbirth. Usually, the “ambulance for childbirth” phone number is written on an exchange card, or it can be obtained from the gynecologist leading the pregnancy. If there is no such service in your city, then when you call “03”, you need to say by phone that childbirth has begun and ask that an obstetric team be sent to you.

If you plan to go to the maternity hospital by your own car, then it is advisable to drive this way in advance in order to know exactly how to get to the maternity hospital, where there may be traffic jams and how to get around them. During contractions, it is extremely dangerous for a woman to drive a car on her own, so it is necessary to decide in advance who will take you to the hospital. If it turns out that no one can take you, it is better to call an ambulance.

If a woman in labor does get stuck in a traffic jam, there are two options.

Firstly , you can contact a policeman or a traffic police post. If possible, they will help you get out of the traffic jam and can accompany you to the maternity hospital.

Secondly , there is a single rescue phone "112" (it can be used regardless of the mobile operator, the availability of money in the phone account and even without a SIM card - the main thing is that the phone is charged). This is a single number for ambulance, police, emergency situations, etc. With the help of these services, you can call an ambulance, and while the car is driving, get qualified advice on behavior in childbirth by phone.

In order not to be afraid of labor pain, it is important to understand where this pain actually comes from, then it will be easier to deal with it. Pain during contractions is associated with stretching (opening) of the cervix for the passage of the baby and with hypoxia (lack of oxygen) of the cervical tissues (when stretched, the lumen of the vessels decreases, as a result, less blood enters the tissues, therefore, they lack oxygen, which leads to pain sensations). And during attempts, the pain is due to the fact that the fetus moves along the birth canal, puts pressure on the rectum and squeezes the soft tissues surrounding it.

English obstetrician-gynecologist Grantley Dick-Read described a vicious circle of pain in childbirth. When childbirth begins, adrenaline is released in the body in anticipation of pain in a woman's body. Adrenaline causes vasospasm, which, in turn, causes a lack of oxygen (hypoxia) in the tissues of the body. Hypoxia causes pain. The stronger the pain, the greater the fear of the next fight, the more adrenaline in the blood, etc. If you stop being afraid of pain in childbirth - break the vicious circle, then the pain will be quite bearable. If you relax and surrender to the process of childbirth, the body produces endorphins - its own painkillers, they will help to adapt to the increasing pain during contractions.

How to relieve pain during childbirth

Childbirth pain can be reduced by the following methods:

  • breathing techniques;
  • various body positions during contractions / attempts;
  • movements that facilitate the birth of a baby;
  • special analgesic massages;
  • relaxation methods.

Some maternity hospitals have the necessary facilities and conditions for a gentle birth (gym ball - fitball, the ability to take a shower during labor, the ability to listen to music, etc.).

In the arsenal of obstetrician-gynecologists there are various methods of drug anesthesia for childbirth. If a woman has indications for their use, doctors will select the best option for each woman in labor.

The birth of a baby is a natural process, and a healthy baby is physiologically ready for childbirth. During pregnancy, the body of the expectant mother prepares the baby for the hypoxia (lack of oxygen) that occurs during contractions and attempts. This preparation is preliminary (training) bouts. During such contractions, blood flow in the vessels of the uterus decreases, which allows the fetus to adapt to some lack of oxygen in childbirth.

To avoid injury to the baby during childbirth, it is important to listen to the doctor and midwife who takes delivery, to clearly follow their recommendations. Specialists will help the birth of a healthy child and will do everything to avoid complications in a woman. If you follow their recommendations, then the likelihood of a birth injury in a child will be minimal.

If the birth proceeds without complications, the doctor should monitor the woman's condition every 3 hours. And only if necessary - more often. Unlike a doctor, a midwife is always nearby (within earshot). If you call a midwife, she will come right away. The mother is not left alone.

In the second stage of labor, during attempts, the midwife is always nearby and, if necessary, will call the doctor. When the baby is already directly born, both the doctor and the midwife will be there.

Special gymnastics can help to avoid gaps in childbirth - exercises to increase the elasticity of perineal tissues, for example, "Butterfly" and Kegel exercises.

Kegel exercises

The first option: you need to squeeze the muscles of the perineum (as if holding back urination) and hold them in this position for 2 seconds (2 counts), then slowly relax. Repeat the exercise 5-10 times. Gradually increase the count to 10. It is advisable to perform the exercise 2-3 times a day.

The second option: tighten the muscles of the perineum by half, hold for 2 seconds, then squeeze the muscles to the end and hold for another 2 seconds, then relax halfway - and hold for another 2 seconds and then relax the muscles to the end. It is recommended to do 5-10 repetitions of this exercise 2-3 times a day with a gradual increase in the “hold” interval from 2 seconds to 10. Try to ensure that not only the vaginal muscles, but also the muscles of the anus (outer opening of the rectum) participate in the exercise.

Exercise "Butterfly"

To perform the exercise, you need to sit on the floor, connect your legs in front of you, resting one foot on the other, and move them towards you as much as possible. Then effortlessly shake your knees up and down - “fly”. This exercise can be done for 5-10 minutes several times a day. It must be performed in such a way that the muscles of the perineum are felt, but there is no pain.

One of the causes of breaks in childbirth is the tension of the muscles of the perineum. Most often this occurs due to the fear of breakups. During attempts, you need to relax, then the tension in the muscles will go away, while the perineum will be easier to stretch, passing the baby, and there will be no tears.

To avoid tears during childbirth, it is important to listen to your doctor and midwife. For example, if a woman in labor feels attempts, but there is still no complete opening of the cervix, it is impossible to push (the doctor will tell you about this after the examination), as there may be ruptures of the cervix. When the head (the largest part of the baby's body) is born, i.e. passes through the perineum, the muscles should stretch. At the moment when the parietal tubercles of the head pass - its largest part, the midwife asks not to push. During the birth of a baby, the midwife provides assistance: she holds the baby's head, while helping the perineum to stretch and avoid tears. If needed, the midwife can use petroleum jelly to help with the delivery of the baby's head.

If during childbirth there is still a threat of perineal rupture, then the doctor will make an incision in the perineum - an episiotomy. Its goal is to protect the surrounding organs as much as possible, since the gap can go anywhere, and the direction and length of the incision is strictly controlled. In addition, an incised wound heals more easily, and a neat, inconspicuous scar is formed that does not bother the woman in the future. But even if a gap has occurred, after the end of childbirth (the birth of the placenta), it will be sewn up. The wound heals within one to two weeks.

During childbirth, any drugs administered to a woman in labor are used strictly according to indications. For example, if a woman has a spasm of the cervix and it does not open, antispasmodics are used (NO-SHPU, PAPAVERIN, etc.). In addition to drugs that stimulate labor, a number of other drugs are used during childbirth. For example, if a child has signs of hypoxia, drugs that improve the baby's cerebral circulation and vitamins can be administered. Many women are afraid that labor will be stimulated, but labor induction is carried out only according to indications, i.e. in case of weakness of labor activity. If the contractions are weak, rare, they do not lead to the opening of the cervix. Only in this case, one of the drugs that stimulate labor activity is used.

There is an opinion that it is easier for a doctor to perform an operation than to take a natural birth. Technically, this is true, but, nevertheless, they try to avoid surgical intervention, since a caesarean section, like any abdominal operation, has a number of “side effects”. These include a long recovery period, the possible formation of adhesions in the abdominal cavity. After a caesarean section, the next birth will most likely also be operative (for any complication during the birth of a child in a woman with a scar on the uterus, the birth ends with an operation).

Caesarean section is performed only according to strict indications, when there is a threat to the life of a woman in labor or a child. For the treatment of complications of childbirth, many different methods are used: the use of drugs, anesthesia in childbirth, opening the fetal bladder (amniotomy), etc. Caesarean section among these methods is in last place.

Indications for caesarean section:

  • acute fetal hypoxia (significant lack of oxygen);
  • bleeding during childbirth;
  • a clinically narrow pelvis (the baby is either very large relative to the pelvis of the woman in labor and will not pass through the woman's birth canal, or occupies an incorrect position, for example, lies sideways);
  • weakness of labor activity, not amenable to treatment, etc.

Some maternity hospitals organize special study tours for expectant mothers. If this is not possible, you can get acquainted with the conditions of stay on the websites of maternity hospitals or according to the reviews of women who have already used the services of this maternity hospital. If you are planning to give birth under a contract, then the terms of the contract often include the choice of a doctor who will take delivery. You can meet with the chosen doctor before delivery to discuss all your questions.

In certain maternity hospitals, you can give birth with your husband (most often this is possible with contract births). The support of a loved one will help the woman in labor to relax and adapt to an unfamiliar environment.

It is important to remember that the fear of childbirth itself can provoke complications. But the more the expectant mother knows about childbirth, the easier it will be for her to overcome her fears.

Fear of childbirth often happens in pregnant women, and the closer the birth, the stronger the fear. It not only prevents a woman from enjoying the happy time of pregnancy, but can negatively affect the birth process. Therefore, it is important to get rid of fear and tune in to the best.

Fear of the unknown

Proper preparation for childbirth helps a woman to tune in psychologically and learn how to behave competently in childbirth, and of course, if you are informed, the fear of the unknown, which always frightens people, disappears.

Currently, there are many courses for pregnant women. It is advisable to choose courses where there are classes with a psychologist, an obstetrician-gynecologist, and a pediatrician. Only then will you be aware of all aspects of childbirth. Unfortunately, it happens that in courses conducted only by psychologists, a woman is instilled with a negative attitude towards medical manipulations and cannot explain their meaning, and in courses where only people with medical education are present, they do not help to tune in psychologically, which is especially important for emotional women. Birth preparation courses are useful not only because you get reliable and understandable information and get rid of the fear of the unknown, but also because there you communicate with other expectant mothers and discuss similar problems.

The courses should include not only lectures, but also practical exercises, where the skills of relaxation and proper breathing are practiced.

In addition to courses, you need to read books or magazines about childbirth. But these should be popular publications about natural childbirth. You should not study a textbook on obstetrics and gynecology, because such books are written for doctors and the emphasis is on those situations where medical assistance is needed, that is, on a complicated course of childbirth.

Imagine in advance how your birth will go, make your plan. In psychology, there is a special technique called "modeling". This technique involves creating a scenario for a favorable development of the situation and fixing this experience in memory.

For many expectant mothers, the maternity hospital is the first experience of being in a hospital, or, simply put, in a hospital. In order not to be afraid of hospital corridors and wards, it is advisable to get acquainted with the maternity hospital in advance - it is better to go on an excursion there (it can be provided for in the cycle of classes for pregnant women or included in the contract for childbirth) or at least read about the maternity hospital in special literature for expectant mothers .

Fear of pain

Pain to some extent accompanies almost all childbirth. But the information that this is a terrible pain that cannot be sustained is incorrect.

What causes pain? The pain is caused by irritation of the nerve endings and nerve plexuses in the uterus and cervix - these are the objective causes of its occurrence. However, there are protective mechanisms in the body that reduce pain: during childbirth, "hormones of joy" - endorphins - are released. In addition, during pregnancy, partial denervation of the uterus occurs - the number of nerve fibers that conduct pain sensitivity decreases in it.

The question arises: why, despite this, the pain is still felt? Much of this is due to fear. Fear reduces the pain threshold, that is, in order for a woman to begin to feel pain, fewer pain impulses are required. Fear is always accompanied by an increase in the release of biologically active substances - adrenaline, norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin, which multiply the pain. Of course, completely painless childbirth is hardly possible. But the function of this pain is not to harm the woman, but to help her control the process of childbirth. If, over time, the contractions become stronger and longer, and the pain increases, then everything is going as expected, and soon you will meet your baby. You need to learn to "trust" the pain, and not be afraid of it. Remember that the physiological pain of childbirth is mild to moderate, especially if you are relaxed and positive about what is happening to you.

There are ways of self-anaesthesia during childbirth (self-massage, breathing, auto-training). They can be learned during pregnancy - in special schools and courses for pregnant women, with the help of literature. Methods of self-pain relief significantly relieve pain. It is especially important to "observe" the pain in attempts. Often the midwife will tell the woman to hurt herself as much as possible. In fact, you need to direct efforts to the point of maximum pain, this pain helps you understand that you are pushing correctly, that your efforts are not in vain.

The active participation of women in childbirth is essential. First, the more a woman focuses on how to properly behave in childbirth, the less time she has to concentrate on pain. Secondly, the active participation of women contributes to a favorable outcome of childbirth.

What does the term "active position in childbirth" mean? This means that, firstly, a woman must control contractions - their frequency and duration. Secondly, a woman should choose a comfortable position. You should not lie down all the time - it is useful to walk around and stand, and if you are lying down, then do not shrink, but, on the contrary, spread your legs and relax. The position can and should be changed periodically. Thirdly, in the process of childbirth, it is useful to engage in auto-training, reminding yourself that childbirth is the happiest event in life, you are about to meet your long-awaited baby.

It is worth remembering about responsibility. You can and should influence what happens to you and your child. The medical staff can help you, but they cannot give birth for you. In addition, they will only be able to help you if you listen to what they tell you, trust your doctor and midwife. This is especially important in the process: at this moment, the woman in labor is actually dictated what, when and how to do. Remember that you can’t just wait until everything is over, because both the duration and the outcome of childbirth primarily depend on you.

Fear of “not coping” with childbirth

Do not forget that childbirth is the natural end of pregnancy. Everything is thought out by nature, it does not force a person to experience something that is beyond his strength.

You can and should physically prepare yourself for childbirth. Of course, exhausting physical activity and intense training are contraindicated for pregnant women, but there are special exercises for expectant mothers.

It is good if the school for pregnant women has gymnastics or water aerobics. These activities help to stay in good physical shape, which is very important, since childbirth is a physical load, and it is harder for an untrained body to withstand it. In addition, during classes of special gymnastics for pregnant women, they teach you how to train the muscles of the perineum, control your body so that the necessary muscles work or relax at your request.

You can also practice at home. Sets of exercises can be found in specialized books and magazines, and there are also special video courses on DVD.

Fear of medical interventions

Some women, realizing that childbirth is a natural process, are afraid that unreasonable medical interventions await them in the maternity hospital, which can harm the baby. However, childbirth is not only a natural process, but also a very responsible one, so the supervision of medical personnel is necessary. And all medical interventions are carried out only when necessary, while the risk-benefit ratio is necessarily weighed, no “extra” drugs and manipulations will be offered to you. Upon admission to the hospital or in advance (if you know which doctor will conduct the birth), you can tell the doctor about your desire so that the number of medical interventions is minimal. If you are offered some kind of injection or manipulation, you have the right to receive an answer why and how much it is necessary.

Most fears are usually caused by the procedure for stimulating labor. These fears are partly related to the not very distant past, when only the so-called horse could be used to intensify contractions, which sometimes had a negative effect on the baby. Currently, this drug is not used. These medicines are prescribed if the contractions are initially very weak, the cervix is ​​not ready for childbirth: they allow stimulation to be carried out gently and effectively. In any case, the stimulation of labor is always used only in the interests of mother and child.

Fear for the baby

The day of birth is the day when a new person is born. Many women are afraid for their baby, they are afraid that something will happen to him during childbirth, because it is also difficult for him.

Indeed, during a fight, the baby is stressed, because the supply of oxygen is disrupted. But the baby has adaptation mechanisms: in response to a decrease in oxygen supply, the heart rate increases, so the baby’s condition does not suffer. However, with prolonged oxygen starvation, the adaptation process may be disrupted. Therefore, it is very important to breathe and relax properly so that there are no spasms of blood vessels and muscles of the birth canal and blood circulation does not suffer. You can talk to your baby between contractions. In addition to the fact that the mother herself helps the child during childbirth, doctors monitor his condition. periodically auscultated with a stethoscope or recorded using a special apparatus. During attempts, the midwife tells the woman how to behave so as not to harm the baby.

After the baby is born, he is examined by a special neonatologist who deals with the health of newborns. This is a highly qualified specialist who has undergone special training to work with babies in the first month of life. At the first examination, the doctor will evaluate the work of all the main body systems, if necessary, prescribe additional examinations. If the condition of a newborn requires any intervention, now everyone has the equipment to provide medical care even in the most serious cases.

Childbirth will surely end with a long-awaited meeting with your baby, whom you have loved for a long time. He will be born, you will hear his first cry, then he will be placed on your stomach and attached to your chest. And you will feel an incomparable happiness - the happiness of being a mother.

Talk to those who have already gone through all this, and you will understand that childbirth is a small test compared to the feelings that you will experience as a result. Childbirth is the final stretch on the way to your dream of becoming a mother, so do not be afraid of them.

Elena Kudryavtseva, obstetrician-gynecologist
Ural Institute of Motherhood and Infancy, Yekaterinburg

Discussion

"And all medical interventions are carried out only when necessary, while the risk-benefit ratio is necessarily weighed, no "extra" drugs and manipulations will be offered to you." Sure sure. Dear author of the article, who are you telling this to? Explain to me then, please, why was it necessary for ALL women awaiting childbirth at the antenatal department to have sleeping pills at night without fail? For what necessity to me personally, when my contractions had just begun - at the 42nd week, by the way! - at half past twelve at night they immediately gave an additional injection of sleeping pills, and then repeated it every hour or two, every time I went into the corridor and talked about it. what are the fights going on? From these injections, at four in the morning, hallucinations began in me, I heard the voice of my husband, who allegedly was not allowed to see me. And in the morning they told me that I had a weakness in labor, I needed stimulation, and even better - a caesarean section. Just do not need stories about "drug sleep", which was supposedly assigned to me. At that time, I had only two contractions, I by no means had time to "get tired" and "exhaust", and it was also hardly possible to draw a conclusion about the "weakness of labor activity". The staff just didn't want me to give birth at night. And in general, to give birth herself. all morning I was persuaded to think about the need for a caesarean. And they would have done if I had not had time to have breakfast. But the anesthesiologist said to wait two hours, and during these two hours my husband arrived. And to him, not intoxicated with sleeping pills, no one could explain why a caesarean was necessary. But, nevertheless, they put on an oxytocin drip - and no one told me about it, I accidentally overheard a conversation between two sisters. And when the doctor began to adjust the dropper, achieving the frequency of contractions 1 time in 3-4 minutes, all my doubts disappeared. And they told me in the eyes that it was saline. This is to the question that "If you are offered some kind of injection or manipulation, you have the right to get an answer why and how much it is necessary." Yes, this maternity hospital was quite paid for itself, they were very proud that there were no free births there, and the brigades are always free, i.e. I was "sedated" not because of a lack of staff ... So, alas, women's fears about childbirth are far from groundless :(

Fear causes attitude honey. personnel. I gave birth 4 years ago, gave birth on a bed in the prenatal ward. If I hadn’t started screaming at the top of my lungs and calling for help, no one would have approached me at all. She gave birth for free. But money is not an option either: there are so many cases when a doctor takes money, turns off his cell phone and does not come to give birth!

07/23/2009 05:51:32 PM, Mama Lyubashka

For the first time, I somehow wasn’t particularly afraid at all, because I didn’t know what it was. And this time - there was a period, somewhere in 37 weeks, when it became scary, but now it seems - everywhere I would have written in capital letters: would rather give birth !!!

on the 41st week, the fear completely disappears :)) Tested on myself 3 times!!!

Comment on the article "Scary, already horror! How to stop being afraid of childbirth"

My yesterday's post about moving and your comments... no, not like that. First - all at once: girls, thank you very much, so much love, so much warmth in your words, I am so grateful to you! And there you formulated what I couldn’t manage in any way - how important it is NOT TO BE AFRAID TO DREAM! And when else to dream, if not on the magical New Year's Eve? Therefore, now I want to offer you to do such a thing, from which I, and myself, out of habit, tremble in my knees and take my breath away. I want to offer you...

Discussion

I want in 2017:
1. Health to yourself, husband, children, parents and all relatives and friends.
2. Get rid of insomnia, neuroses and come to a state of spiritual harmony, adjust your daily routine so that you have more energy.
3. To make Misha fall asleep better and switch to a normal daily routine.
4. To make Misha eat better, be in a good mood.
5. To cure Vova of his asthma - incomprehensible cough and redness around the lips, so that he would be in a good mood.
6. For the husband to heal his stomach and throat.
7. Stop being afraid to fly on an airplane and fly on vacation to a good sea in a good country for at least 2 weeks, and preferably 3, and so that it passes without illness, but with health benefits.
8. Work out with an instructor and boldly drive your car at least for circles 5-15 minutes from home.
9. So that everything is good in relations with her husband, without mutual claims and with warmth.
10. So that we may begin to live together again.
11. Build by 5, and preferably by 10 kg, and so that I have a waist :-)
12. Find time to do fitness, yoga and maybe some dancing.

And I will participate:
My dear, generous, dear Universe! Can you please help me in 2017 to
1) I safely endured and gave birth to a baby, quickly recovered and began to enjoy motherhood
2) my husband's income has grown significantly and allowed me to carelessly sit on maternity leave for up to three years
3) buy a one-room apartment and move your mother-in-law into it
4) all my loved ones were healthy and happy
5) enough time and energy for all the ideas such as sports, photography, trips and meetings!
Universe, I will work!))

It was already the 40th week of pregnancy, it was hard to walk. My daughter was lying on her booty, so it was also forbidden to eat a lot and get fat, otherwise they threatened to Caesar. I had been in the maternity hospital for two weeks already, for some reason it was impossible for the birth to begin at home, otherwise, as the doctors explained, the umbilical cord could fall out. So I spent two weeks there in horror, and still there was no birth. I decided to speed up the process and began to squat 100 times and walk the stairs endlessly. At night, my stomach starts to hurt, but it seems like I ate something wrong. So...

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I don't understand why everyone is so afraid of a caesarean. I myself gave birth quickly, but rapid labor is also no good. Everything was torn, the child had an injury, I also had hemorrhoids ... I looked at the girls with a caesarean and was wildly envious: they would sit down and feed their babies, and I just think how to get up in order to give her a breast. By the way, you also had to go to the toilet standing up for 3 weeks (!) Can you imagine that? If I hadn't gone through it myself, I wouldn't have imagined it. And all this against the background of wild pains from hemorrhoids, from which vaunted candles do not help, they are simply smeared on the hands. And the daughter yells like a cut, because the injury. And what's good? I now remember the first 3 months and understand that it was AD. The result - I lost milk. We eat mixtures to which we are allergic. The only plus from stopping breastfeeding is that I was able to drink Detralex for my hemorrhoids, and I felt better. These are the NATURAL childbirth. What's good?

before the last btu I had to stop losing weight and gain up to 62kg, otherwise I could not get pregnant. now the weight is 68kg, I’m not at all funny, I’m always terribly afraid of getting pregnant after giving birth and I’m well protected, this time there were already 2 remedies at the same time, not ...

Discussion

I gave birth to a girl at 35, I couldn’t get pregnant for more than a year and a half, I had to turn to specialists. Regarding losing weight, or rather returning to the previous weight before childbirth) I bought the mybodylove program

and very satisfied with it. Many are engaged in breastfeeding because the nutrition plan allows it.
And to have another baby is also my cherished dream. In this I will fully support you.

She gave birth to a daughter at 43. She got pregnant herself. Weight before pregnancy was 80 kg. You can’t tell me - the bones are heavy, I guess. During pregnancy, I lost weight naturally (but I always lose weight when pregnant, although there is no toxicosis and I eat in three throats). As a result, after giving birth, she weighed 70, and after a year of breastfeeding, 65. But then she successfully corroded again. ((
The pregnancy proceeded normally, all the scarecrows about the freak child remained the scarecrows of "good people."
My daughter is 2.7 now. Ttt, smart-beauty.))))
There were nuances during pregnancy, but my kind genius, a miracle doctor, competently helped me. She gave birth by herself, not by caesarean... What else. My happiness and pride for myself and my daughter, that we are such good fellows, cannot be conveyed ... The older brothers really like her. We all love her very much.
However, I try not to think about looking for work now. First, summer. And secondly, something tells me that it will be, to put it mildly, not easy.))))

Oh wow, so creepy. I stopped being afraid of conventional childbirth quite a long time ago, and not without your help :) - a natural process I had experience with both natural childbirth and caesarean with spiral anesthesia just right. I was scared with the c-section too, but everything went well.

Discussion

No need to be afraid. I also had some reasons for this, but in the end I gave birth naturally :) That's good too.

I went with my first daughter without any problems. one shot, everything was chopped off from chest to toe. I tried to consider the process in the reflection of the llamas and in the tile, but the medical staff spoke their teeth and did not let me look, which is a pity. I am glad that I heard the first cries of my daughter. They gave me a kiss on the heel :) very touching. She gave birth to the second one in the same way, only they exhausted all the nerves (she gave birth for free) - in the operating room she was shaking either from the cold, or from the nerves - the result: the anesthesia did not work - they gave me a general one. I did not hear the first screams, it was difficult to withdraw.

Photo uploaded on 09/13/2013 12:59 pm Folder: Beginning since such a booze has gone, I’ll show you another one, too, very beautiful - from the Timiryazevskaya greenhouse

Has anyone had weird food cravings? salted fish with milk? cucumber with condensed milk? my husband and friends were all waiting on me when I would start asking for something strange and unusual. But there was nothing like that. The only thing is that in the second month I terribly wanted fresh cucumbers .. how fragrant, juicy they are .. oh yummy. And in the spring I was drawn to the sweet. Even as a child, I was indifferent to sweets, but here I ate a couple of sweets with a cup of tea for a sweet soul. Now I'm not myself until...

Discussion

I'm also dying for ice cream ..... every day I eat at least a small ice cream or a milkshake if I pass by McDonald's.

There weren't any strange things at all .... It was at the very beginning that I wanted only this and nothing more, and that's it !!! I remember I wanted zucchini for several days, then pancakes)) in the fall I leaned on melons and watermelons))) but I would lean on them anyway)) but I couldn’t eat my favorite meat all pregnancy, but I was drawn to sweets, as a result, a sweet girl- candy! ;-)

I wonder why I didn't find the site site earlier? No, not really. I even registered once, but a very long time ago. Then the site moved. And then I didn't get to come back. And it was so long ago that ... During this time I managed to become a multi-mother: I currently have three children, all schoolchildren. For a long time I wanted to start my own blog, where you could just share your experience. But it was scary, creepy. After all, there was so much to learn, all sorts of technical subtleties ...

30 weeks and 2 days, weight 69.3. Today I was given an exchange card. This is a kind of milestone, the finish line. You can count down, i.e. I have 9 weeks and 5 days left to be pregnant, then a completely different story will begin. I also had an ultrasound today. We are in perfect order (ttt), the boy was confirmed once again, mischievous and fidgety, has grown to 40 cm and weighs about 1600 gr. He has already taken a fighting position with his head down and is training his legs so that it is easier to jump out. I noticeably rounded, terribly afraid of scales ...

Discussion

Finally!! :)) I kept waiting for when you would leave on maternity leave and whether you would leave :) At least you will rest, get enough sleep and stay with your daughter. You look great, belly is neat!!! As always, in heels :)) Olya is charming: o)
It's easy for you to walk the rest of the way!

Congratulations! You are great!

39 weeks. Day of birth - continuation. 16:45. I am being framed. Damn it, I'm freaking out. I’m having contractions, and here you sit, damn it, answer questions, now the system is already ... they don’t think with their heads at all. They also asked “well, how are the contractions going now?”, I say, well, yes, there are already such decent contractions !!! And to me: “well, today you will give birth before 23:00.” I say “I hope I want it today, well, a maximum of the 22nd until 3 am.” Surprised, they began to ask why. Well, I quickly explained that the stars are well placed. Probably surprised...

A couple of months ago, we adopted three brothers, 2-year-old, 3-year-old and 5-year-old boys, into our family. On the move, they dubbed them "Three young brothers, the same from the face." There was a case, I swore off taking siblings, "putting all my eggs in one basket", from which I was prudently kept from the sad experience of raising children of a mentally retarded drinking and walking bio-mother. Therefore, when the prospect of having babies again arose, the first condition for me was to get to know their bio-parents. But then everything is somehow...

Discussion

Once again, I misunderstood the idea.

I think bio is normal. And Ophigenia is unrealistically good. That's better?

Bio is normal because this is how people have lived since time immemorial. And now they live like that, and live much worse. One child out of 4 died of disease - in Africa, this is luck. No one took the children for a walk, they fed them poorly ... you can write about gypsies, for example, about the marriages of 11-year-old girls, about children who beg and steal on the streets. And what about the Tajik children who sleep in a pile, live in converted basements, in one room with 5 children? But these are people. Normal people. Evolutionary, more correct than we are, because there are more and more gypsies and Tajiks, and fewer and fewer Russians (and absolutely correct Finns).

And the frenzy is really amazing. There is nothing to even write about.

08.10.2012 23:11:22, masha__usa

I have an obsessive thought that you will return these bio children :)
Perhaps you should specialize in this?

Rodov was terribly afraid and insured from all sides. A contract with 2 doctors (what if one cannot come!), I went to courses, learned to breathe, plus I decided to give birth with my husband. And now - horror as scary!

Discussion

Indeed, a lot is decided by attitude and awareness. Of course, the process itself is not pleasant, but what a pleasant result: when they put a baby on your stomach, you hear his voice, then everything is quickly forgotten. In general, you need to listen to the doctor and the midwife (I happened to be lucky to give birth both times to the same "team"), do what they say and everything will be fine. I think if I had to give birth again, I would choose the natural option again (provided there were no medical contraindications).