Children's perception. How children perceive the world

And if adults understood this, most family problems could be avoided. One dad amazed with his reasoning. He said that he wants to raise his daughter as a kind and independent person. For this, he believes, it is not worth protecting the child from life's difficulties, because, according to his observations, people who have endured hardships and troubles in their lives were more compassionate to others, more kind, since they learned from personal experience “that so bad. " To get to know the cruelty of the world better personally is the first principle of its upbringing. Another principle is to raise a child with the thought “you are nothing until you prove otherwise”. According to the Pope, the need to prove that he is worth something, can do something, will serve as a stimulus for the development of the child. When I disagreed with him, saying that by instilling in the child the thought “you are nothing”, he would most likely form such an attitude towards himself in him, he objected, stating that he would only say this occasionally, and not every day, and nothing to worry about.

In fact, it may be enough for a child to hear something unpleasant in his address from a close adult once in order to remember these words for life. Children believe everything that adults tell them, especially mom or dad. The way we treat a child affects his attitude towards himself - he simply copies the attitude towards himself from others. If you instill in a child that he is "nothing", then he will grow up to be nobody or will think so of himself. Children always strive to meet the expectations of their parents, even to their own detriment.

Children tend to take everything personally, especially what is happening in the family. If, for example, a child often witnesses scandals at home, he begins to consider himself the culprit. It is better not to give cause for such thoughts. It is the adults who understand that the child is not to blame for their quarrel, but the child perceives the situation in his own way.

If the mother directly told the child something unpleasant about him, then he will not only take the words literally, sincerely believe in them, he will also exaggerate what has been said: “I am a fool, so I am a fool. And not just a fool, but the stupidest boy in the world. Mom knows better. " This opinion of himself subconsciously can remain with him for life. Not surprisingly, so few people are satisfied with their lives, able to achieve success in personal relationships and in professional activities - they are used to thinking that success is not for them. To raise a strong and self-confident person, you need to teach a child to love himself and believe in the best! And he will love himself if his parents love him. Since only people who love themselves succeed, those who are loved by their parents are more likely to succeed in life.

Parents' words are a program of action for children.

Two boys are playing in a puddle.

Mom looks out from one window:

• - Peter! Fool! Fool! Why did you get into a puddle? Get dirty, you idiot!

From the second window:

• - Borya, you're a smart boy, what are you doing in this puddle?

Borya will think: “Yes, I'm a smart boy. That's what Mom said. Indeed, it is necessary to get out of the puddle ", and Petya thinks:" Yes, I'm a fool, I can continue to sit in the puddle. " Numerous experiments confirm that if children are treated differently, they will behave differently. The attitude towards the child is very important. If the parents of a disobedient child begin to treat him as obedient (for example, often praise him for good behavior), then he will begin to obey more often. If an obedient child is told that he is disobedient, then he will begin to behave accordingly. Every parent ultimately gets what they believe in. Whoever believes that his child is smart will be the parent of an intelligent child, and who is sure that it is not ... well, his child is likely to justify the parents' faith in the same way. Faith really works miracles. That is why you need to believe in your child: believe that he is good, smart, that he can achieve what he wants, that he will succeed.

This is inherent in human nature - the expectations of other people affect us and our behavior, and we ourselves contribute to the fact that these expectations are met (the so-called self-fulfilling prophecy). And if adults can resist and not follow the expectations of others about themselves when they do not like those expectations, then children do it very badly. Back in the 60s of the last century, on the basis of his clinical experience, Dr. Albert Moll came to this conclusion, and later the American psychologist Robert Rosenthal confirmed his hypothesis by a series of scientific experiments. In particular, experiments have shown that teachers' expectations of a student's academic success often play the role of a self-fulfilling prophecy. And since the child is emotionally dependent on the parents much more than on other people, it is the parental expectations that most often come true.

The essence of one of Rosenthal's experiments was as follows: at the beginning of the academic term, one group of students was told that they had outstanding abilities according to the test results; the other is that their abilities are below average. The results stunned the experimenters: the first group of children began to study much better, and the second - much worse than before, although the children were the most ordinary, randomly chosen to participate in the experiment. The main reason for the self-fulfillment of the prophecy is the psychological phenomenon, which consists in the fact that a person expects its realization, and this expectation determines the nature of his actions (he himself does everything to make this prophecy come true).

This phenomenon was called in psychology "The Pygmalion Effect", in honor of the legendary ancient Greek king Pygmalion, skilled in sculpture, who sculpted such a beautiful statue that he fell in love with it. He appealed to the goddess of love Aphrodite, asking to revive his beloved. The goddess was so moved by the power of his feelings that she breathed life into the statue, and the king received his Galatea. That is, Pygmalion received what he sincerely believed in. Nevertheless, I want to emphasize that he not only believed, but also made efforts to fulfill his desire.

Precisely because it is easy to program a child, you cannot tell children “don’t run - you will fall”, “don’t take a knife - you will cut yourself”, “don’t take a bead - put it in your ear”. The child hears it and does it. Better to say "be careful," "let me show you how to use a knife." It makes more sense to use any situation for growth and development, instead of programming children for failure. Although this does not mean at all that you do not need to tell the child that you can fall, if you run quickly, the knife cuts not only vegetables, but also fingers, and the beads need to be used only in a certain way (that you can stick them in your ears or nose , it is better not to prompt the child at all).

That is why it is very important to say only pleasant words to children. The child is very sensitive to praise and expects a positive assessment of himself and what he has done. Praise is the best stimulus for personal growth and development. If you've praised your child once, they'll want to hear those words again. Praise a preschool child often, for any, even the smallest, achievements, and he will try to achieve more. But praise correctly: for specific deeds. Say not just general: "you are great", but specific: "you drew a beautiful flower", "you folded the toys well", "you are great for helping me clean up the closet."

You should not label your child from childhood or program for failure. Repeated repetition of phrases: "you are a bully", "you are a slob", "you can not do anything right", "do not run - you will fall", "do not take - you will break" - this is nothing more than programming behavior. The child will fall, and break, and grow up to be a slob or a bully, if you so desire. If you don’t want to, then it’s better to replace these destructive, negative images with positive and constructive ones. For example, “you are a bully”, “you are a slob” can be replaced with “how active you are with me”, “oh, we have a creative mess again”, “you are inventive with me”. "Do not run - you will fall", "do not take - you will break" is better replaced by: "take it carefully", "run carefully", "be careful."

Of course, children are children for that, so as not to always behave well and obediently. It is also necessary to tell the child that he is behaving badly and explain why he is not good, but it is important to convey to him the idea that he has bad behavior, and not he himself is bad. Saying "you are a bad boy" or "you are a bad girl" is not worth it. Better to say "you are a good boy (good girl), but your act is bad." We all make mistakes and do not very good deeds, but we do not automatically become bad people from this, right?

Parents often find it difficult to correctly interpret the child's behavior, but if they know at least in general terms about the features of child psychology, this helps them to avoid the biggest misunderstandings. For example, childhood fears often lead to conflicts if the parent does not understand their causes. Children are afraid of many things - what is a trifle for an adult, for a child can become a real tragedy. The peculiarities of children's perception of the world must be taken for granted. Some fears appear in a child thanks to the parents themselves: if they deliberately frighten him for educational purposes. It is especially harmful to frighten a child with the loss of loved ones, with a break in affection: “Mom will leave without you”, “Someone else’s uncle will take you”. Mom will not go anywhere and will never leave the child, no matter what he does and no matter how he behaves, he should know about it, and not be afraid that his mother will leave him, not live in constant anxiety. And his uncle won't take him - that's a cruel lie.

Children should have the right to express their emotions, as suppressing them leads to behavioral problems and is fraught with illness. You need to be a very attentive parent to understand the child and help him overcome his fears. Fears need to be conquered, to get rid of them: if a child is afraid of some thing (a scary picture, a toy, a scary feather) - destroy it with him and throw it away. So the child will understand that there is nothing to be afraid of - the fear has been destroyed. If the child is afraid of the dark, let the light be on constantly.

If a child is afraid that it is impossible to “win” physically by destroying it in the real world, this fear can be defeated with the help of fairy tale therapy, with the help of a scary fairy tale invented. Playing in the imagination a scary fairy tale, where the main character is struggling with what is the main fear for the child, the child will conquer his fear. Children (and adults as well) always associate themselves with the main character of a fairy tale (any other invented story), and when he overcomes evil (or what the child considers evil), then the child thinks that he is defeating him. So fears go away.

But by scaring a child of an early age with a bogeyman or a fictional evil uncle who "will now come and take you", you can, on the contrary, instill fear in him. Such "innocent" educational methods are extremely dangerous for the child's psyche. If, telling a fairy tale, fear is destroyed, then by threatening babai, fear, on the contrary, is generated.

Also, with the help of a fairy tale, a child can change his behavior (the field of application of fairy tale therapy is quite wide), but if possible it is better to turn to a specialist who conducts such "fairy lessons" for children. A good example of how one fairy tale helped a boy change his behavior is in the cartoon How Petya Pyatochkin thought of elephants. True, there was not a fairy tale, but a dream (the boy had a dream about the story), but the essence is the same and the principle of operation is the same.

To understand the child, the parent should often remember himself in childhood. The child is in many ways similar to his parents, and in general children's experiences and thoughts are similar, so this method will help parents out more than once. What will each of us understand when we remember our childhood? That a child should not be forced to do something unless absolutely necessary (and an emergency is safety issues). That one should not be forced to say something if the child does not want to. You cannot laugh when the child is bad, even if you give birth to the gel from the height of his life experience, the reason for crying seems to be a trifle. Children have the right to cry over trifles. And not only girls, but also boys. You shouldn't say "wow, how ugly it is to cry, you are a boy." In front of you is the child first, and only then is it a boy or a girl.

Tears help the child more easily accept the prohibitions and restrictions that are an integral part of our life, adapt to life circumstances that he cannot change, and thereby help him fully grow up.

The child also needs to be pitied when he feels bad. This seems obvious, but many parents deliberately do not do this in order to educate their children to cope independently with any, including emotional problems. Then they are surprised that the child does not share their feelings, and are offended and struck to the core by the callousness of a teenage child.

Most often, a grown-up child behaves towards parents and other people in the same way as they behaved towards him. "Don't put on hands, so as not to spoil," "not to regret when crying, so that you don't come to complain in the future," "not to help, so that he learns to cope with difficulties himself" - all these are lessons that are well learned by the child and then applied in practice communication with loved ones. But relatives are somehow not happy with successful training, although it was they who taught him these lessons - “your problems are only your problems,” you should not contact your loved ones, because you will not get help and sympathy from them.

But this is precisely what a mother is needed for - to help cope with emotions while the child cannot do this on his own, and to teach empathy. No, I do not mean that you need to cry with your child about the loss of a toy, but it is worth expressing sympathy in a few words and demonstrating your emotional support (hug, pat on the head). A child who has no one to complain to or who never “needs” to be understood and empathized is not at all independent - he is simply lonely, not understood and was not understood by loved ones. Because of this, he most likely learned only two things well: first, no matter how much you ask for sympathy, it will not be there; and secondly, that such an attitude towards people is normal.

The birth of their own child refreshes the memory of parents well - they remember from their childhood even what they did not remember before. For example, my husband remembered how insulting it was for him when he was little when his father, at his own discretion, “audited” his things and “treasures” and threw away most of them without asking or warning. With this in mind, my husband says that the child's ownership of his toys and personal belongings must be respected.

Children, by the way, have a very developed sense of ownership, and the concepts of “mine” and “someone else's” at an early age are still poorly distinguished. Or they do not differ at all: children at an early age do not like to give their things to others at all, but everything that is alien that the child saw, he immediately wants to appropriate and not give to anyone. And if it’s his toy, then you don’t want to share it, no matter how the child is persuaded that it is necessary to share, and “it is ugly to be greedy”. A child is not “greedy”, for him such a concept does not exist at all, so you should not call children “greedy beef” when they do not want to let another child play with their toy or even exchange toys with him for a while. On the contrary, you need to support your child or a stranger in this (if the stranger does not want to give his toy) and thus teach children to respect the rights of others.

Parents are often embarrassed for such behavior of their child, and they try to make sure that others do not have a reason to judge them. For example, parents try to induce guilt in their child by resenting them for their unwanted behavior. They are ashamed of the child's behavior in front of others and, in order to have reason to be proud, they are ready for anything. Most often, punishments and insults, humiliation and insults, appeals to conscience and reproaches are used for sacrificing much for the sake of a negligent child. Is it worth it? Is the approval of your neighbor more important than the feelings of your own child?

It is worth learning to always be on the side of your child, especially when he is right, for example, if he does not give another child his own toy - after all, he has the right to do so. Doesn't want to give your toy? So he doesn't want to. Sorry, next time. The best way to teach sharing is to teach to share toys: "you - to me, I - to you." This is fairer than letting someone play with their toy just like that. Over time, the child will learn how to change toys, and share them, and will understand that other people's things cannot be touched without permission. The main thing is not to blame the child for behaving like a child until he has matured to a different behavior.

It seems to me that the best way to understand a child's feelings and needs is to live “in the here and now”. This is generally the best way to understand a person, since the perception of reality is sharpened and it is easier to tune in to the "necessary wave". It is equally important to learn to put yourself in the child's shoes. Everyone knows this advice - if you want to understand someone, try to put yourself in his place. In the case of a child, this is complicated by the fact that adults and children perceive the world differently. The child takes everything literally, "at face value." For example, if a 2-3-year-old kid laughs at his father's joke, this does not mean that he understands that it is a joke. No, he thinks it's true, but laughs because he just imitates those around him.

From birth, a child trusts his parents completely, 100%. It is important not to lose trust. How to do it? First, never lie to a child. And all the more not to lie, at the same time frightening him, for example, "if you do not obey, I will give you to this uncle." A grown-up child will most likely cease to be afraid of such threats, but the conviction that parents cannot be trusted, or the fear that they can give him to a stranger, will sink into his subconscious. Secondly, if the parents have promised something, it is better to keep their word, otherwise the child will also very quickly understand that parents cannot be trusted, and problems in relationships cannot be avoided.

Adults should not be offended by the child. Resentment is a demonstration of weakness and powerlessness, which is why adults, who seem to children to be omniscient and omnipotent, should not show it in relation to a child. An adult who takes offense at a child behaves like a child himself. One mother was so offended by the child that she wrote a letter to a psychologist in a magazine. Its content was something like this: “Recently, when my three-year-old son was playing, I went up to him and asked what he was doing. To which he said to me. "

Because he is small. This is the obvious answer. The boy, apparently, could not act otherwise, and his mother, instead of teaching him a lesson on how to behave correctly, showed him how to behave incorrectly. She allowed herself to be offended by someone who is weaker than her, whose emotional state largely depends on her condition. In such a case, you can say: “Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. Next time, calmly say that you want to play alone. Deal?" Even if the child grows up and says to the parent “I hate you,” you should not take these words as the end of the world, especially since this is not true. This speaks in the child of resentment towards the parents, and where an adult would say "it makes me very angry", the child says "I hate you."

Parents should not show their child their fear or insecurity, as this scares the child very much and he feels defenseless. Children love stability - it makes them feel safe. The child is also frightened and disturbed by scandals in the family: when he sees them, his usual world collapses, he thinks that he himself is to blame for them. Yes, yes, children always think that they are the main reason for everything that happens in the world around them, especially if something bad happens.

The formation of a child's personality is most influenced not by real relationships in the family, but by his personal perception of these relationships, personal interpretation. Therefore, if the parents are sure that “the dear ones scold - only amuse themselves”, they should understand that the child does not share this opinion and, in any of their quarrels, feels terrible. You should not burden the child with adult problems and tell him how bad it is for mom or dad, how difficult it is, etc. If mom or dad has no one to share their problems with, this does not mean that they can tell everything to the child, and even more so, one should not instruct the child to solve their problems, for example, to reconcile the parents. A child cannot bear such a huge emotional burden, he is beyond his strength, deprives him of peace and carelessness. It is the child who should find emotional support from the parents, not they from him. Moreover, parents should not become the cause of the child's mental suffering.

Immediately after birth, babies take their first breath and begin to intensively learn about such an unfamiliar world around them. Newborns perceive the world through their senses. What is the reality of the newborn's perception of the environment? This question can be answered by specialists who have conducted a number of studies that have opened the veil of this mystery.

What do the baby's eyes see?

A newborn baby is able to see and distinguish light. The very first thing, after birth, the visual perception of the baby brings him closer to his mother. This is not surprising, for the reason that all babies in the first few days of their lives can clearly see only at a distance of no more than thirty centimeters. Beloved mom and food are the main visual objects for a newborn baby in these days of his life. Everything else that surrounds the little toddler can panic him. Newborn babies have very weak eyesight and therefore they are not able to distinguish objects located at some distance from them. For this reason, newborn gaze is wandering and poorly coordinated. The reason for this phenomenon is the not fully formed optic nerve. The process of its formation and development can continue up to three months of age. When the baby turns one year old, he will already be fully adapted visually to the world that will surround him.

What do baby ears hear?

As long as the baby is in the mother's womb, he can clearly distinguish how his mother's heart is beating. He hears all kinds of muted sounds coming to him from the outside world. The hearing aid of young children continues to develop and form until the first year of their life. But do not think that the baby is born hearing nothing. The toddler perfectly hears the mother's voice, which he is familiar with since prenatal development. He also distinguishes other people's voices. It is very noticeable that a newborn baby is very fond of high-pitched voices, and bass voices are not very well perceived.

What does a newborn's nose smell?

The baby's nose is a kind of barometer. At the level of reflexes, all babies are drawn to their mothers. The reason for this is that the mother smells like breast milk, i.e. food. Therefore, babies recognize their mothers immediately. The perception of the world by newborns with the help of smell gives him the opportunity to navigate in the environment.

Is the baby able to perceive taste?

The baby begins to distinguish the taste in the womb of his mother. Babies have several thousand more taste buds in their mouths than in adults. But the main taste target for a newborn baby is breast milk. All little children love sweets, but they do not perceive sour, salty and bitter ones.

How does a child feel when touched?

Tactile sensations are very developed in newborns. They feel great heat, cold and pain. Newborn babies are often carried and stroked. For babies, this is a very important process. Children constantly ask to pick them up not because of their harm, but because they better perceive the world around them, this is necessary for their development and growth.

Does the baby think?

What is thinking? Thinking is the ability of the human mind to analyze problems that have arisen and find solutions to these problems through experience. As you know, newborns do not yet have life experience, so it is difficult to say whether he can reflect and think.

Scientists have proven that a child perceives the world differently than we do. Unfortunately, most parents consider this to be disobedience or childish oddity, but in reality this behavior is due to the peculiarity of the development of thinking. Up to 11 years old kids look at the world with “different eyes”, but as they get older, they begin to think like adults. Here are 8 differences between a child and an adult.

@ ima_abacus / Instagram.com

Lack of line between reality and fantasy

Children can become so deeply immersed in a fantasy world that they begin to truly believe in it. Scientists believe that the child does not know how to establish a clear line between imagination and reality.

For example, you might ask the children to share the details of their ideal day. After a while, start asking them about it and make sure that the children are confident that the events they invented really happened.

It is important to understand that the child easily believes in his fantasies, but he may doubt the stories of adults.

@ andevigo / Instagram.com

Reversibility concept

Scientists are sure that until the age of 7, a child is not able to take into account several quantities at once. For example, height and width. If you pour liquid from a tall glass into a wide one, the child will assume that there is less of it. Although its number has remained unchanged. The child will be sure that if the glass is lower, then there is less water in it.

Perception of objects and their constancy

Psychologist Jean Piaget made the discovery when he discovered that children under one year old react to an object that has disappeared from their field of vision as if it no longer exists. He is sure that the understanding of the constancy of the subject comes to us with age. For this reason, young children are so surprised to react to the disappearing and reappearing objects.

For example, if in front of a baby's eyes (up to one year old) you take and hide any thing under a napkin and then move it again under another surface, then his reaction will be as if it has disappeared. But with an adult, such a trick will not work, he perfectly understands where the object is.

@ima_abacus / Instagram.com

Learning languages

Many people know that children learn faster, absorb information easier and master foreign languages. It is known that in a family where parents speak different languages, the baby can easily master them, while he does not need special training.

The famous linguist Noam Chomsky put forward the theory that all languages ​​have a common structure of rules, the logic with which we construct sentences, and it is embedded in our brain from birth. He is sure that children approach the issue of learning languages ​​according to the principle of "subject-verb-object".

Ability to think abstractly

Scientists, together with psychologist Rudolf Schaffer, conducted a study asking 9-year-old children to figure out where to place the third eye. 95% said forehead. This is not entirely logical, because there are already 2 eyes in the forehead area. But 11-year-old children began to reason and offer other options: arms, shoulders, back of the head.

This suggests that from the age of 11, children begin to think abstractly, but the vision and understanding of babies is based on reality. They cannot yet think of imaginary problems and actions to solve them.

@velikolepny_irun / Instagram.com

Differences between faces

The researchers concluded that a newborn baby can distinguish a mother's face from others. However, he is unable to distinguish a person of a different nationality or race. This is due to a lack of experience. But children easily pick up the smallest features and human emotions.

Painting is not what they see

Scientists conducted a study asking children from 5 to 9 years old to draw what they see. A mug with a handle was placed in front of them, but they turned it around so that the handle was not visible.

5-7-year-old children drew a pen by the mug, when the older ones depicted without it. This is due to the fact that adult children perceived only the obvious, and the younger ones - for granted (they know that the mugs have handles, so they drew it this way).

@alfira_nigmatulin / Instagram.com

Moral concepts

Scientists conducted a study. Preschool children were asked which act is worse, a person who broke many vases, but by accident, or someone who damaged one, but on purpose. They all settled on the first option, suggesting that it did more harm.

But adults would say that the second option. After all, the person committed it deliberately, with malicious intent.

"Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18: 3

The other day I came across a touching story. “A four-year-old kid, whose old neighbor recently lost his wife, saw a man crying, went into his yard, climbed onto his knees and just sat there.

When his mother asked what he said to the neighbor, the boy replied: “Nothing. I just helped him cry. "

It so happened that, growing up, people lose their crystal clear perception of the world, overgrown with conditioning and social dogmas.

Have you noticed how children live their nature?

They are spontaneous, funny, sad or joyful, but they are totally in this state, making the most of the experience of the moment.

It is impossible to make them love you, to pay attention to you, if they do not want it at the moment.

One can only be surprised at their ability to sympathize and empathize with the states of loved ones - kids come up and hug, or take by the face and look into the eyes.

And in this act there is so much love shown and recognition of oneself and another. There is no manipulation in this, children live their inner truth instinctively, as they feel right now.

What is inner truth, and why do grown-up children lose the value of this basic quality of life? How to bring back the children's perception of the world?

Let's try to figure it out.

What is inner truth

A person is a social being, and as he grows up, the pressure of society increases, the responsibility for existence increases, and along with this, the values ​​of society, egregors, family, friends, employees appear.

Remaining yourself is tantamount to rebellion, which is unacceptable in an "ideal society." And to swim against the stream, to go against the pack is contrary to common sense.

This is at the genetic level - one is not a warrior in the field. In ancient times, when the tribe moved from place to place, the weak and the infirm were left behind. And this is inevitable death, either from wild animals, or from cold and hunger.

So as we grow up, at a certain moment we succumb to social influence and set off with the tribe along the path of avoiding fear, betraying ourselves and our essence.

But at all times there were people living their nature - wild, passionate, or calm, your inner truth, true states. And such people changed the world. Like Danko with a burning heart.

And in each of you there is this blazing fire and this experience of inner truth. A state of being connected with one's nature, living feelings in the moment, without identifications, ideas and fantasies on the topic of life.

It is a compass, a guiding star to yourself and your true realization. And this means - to live in harmony with yourself and the world around you, implement the experience that is needed right now.

The article will help you to identify at what stage of emotional maturation you are. Use the guidelines to learn how to express your feelings.

2. Allow yourself to face fear and pain and experience repressed states.

When you allow yourself to feel, the first thing to do is start to rise. unlived depressed states.

This is akin to having a pantry that you haven't looked in for a long time. And all you did was throw things into it from time to time.

Try to feel this image. What is your pantry? How much dust and dirt has accumulated there? What have become those things that were thrown there?

And so, at one point you decided to open it. What do you think will happen?

Perhaps you will smell the stagnant smell of a space without air, perhaps a certain amount of things will fall on you. Visualize and accept what you see.

This space is you, suppressed, not living your essence.

Every unlived experience is stored by trash in such a pantry inside your body, settling in blocks and diseases. It settles inside and does not allow you to breathe deeply.

Therefore it is important free up space suppressed feelings, live them. Across acceptance of the value of fear and pain, through the recognition of each of their experiences, through physical activity and subtle listening to oneself.

It's time to stop running in pain and recognize its value.

This is a fairly intense process, and at the first stage, fear rises. Fear is the very essence of pain. You've been running away from her for so long. But there is no other way. All you need to do is take the first step.

Fear is always on guard for your strength and, by acknowledging fear, you will be able to enter it.

It will help your body release negative emotions associated with the past.

Hooponopono is an effective practice for dealing with pain, fear, guilt, and promotes recognition of all the experiences of one's life.

The key phrase of the practice: "The world begins with me!" Phrases that allow take responsibility for your life totally:

• I am very sorry (acknowledgment of responsibility for everything that happens in life).
• Thank you (thanks to the universe for what you are, for what you have).
• I love you (addressed to everything and everyone, every moment and everyone you meet on the way).
• Forgive me (addressed to the higher self, to myself).

Speak the phrases consciously, experiencing feelings, as often as possible.

3. Meet your inner child and recognize your true feelings and desires.

As you clear your space of resentments, fears and regrets, you will begin to feel your true needs and desires.

You will be able to create your life proceeding from a subtle listening to yourself, you will begin to recognize your essence, live it easily and joyfully, since this is you - an adult whose inner child, with his truth, is recognized.

But it happened that due to experience, each inner child was traumatized, and below I share the practice of establishing a connection with him.

Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a few deep, mindful breaths. Dive deeper into yourself, feel how your heart beats, how the air fills your body, how the tension leaves with exhalation.

Try to relax as much as possible by switching your attention from the outside world to the inside.

Try with your inner vision to find the place where your child lives. Focus as much as possible on the details, this space.

What surrounds him? How old is the child? What toys and household items are in his room?

Now try to see your inner child. What condition is this girl / boy in? Is she / he silent or happy and open to communication? What bothers her / him?

Get as close as possible. Listen to what he has to tell you. You may hear dialogue or see images, let it happen.

Direct the energy of love into the images or memories you convey. Hug yourself as a child and say that he is loved, that everything is fine, that you can be yourself and not be afraid of being punished, that you no longer need to hide.

That there is nothing that you yourself cannot forgive, and that you accept your innate nature holistically.

Hug and become your little one and a child and a loving parent at the same time.

Ask the child what he needs and give it to him. Perhaps it will be a feeling, perhaps some kind of toy. Don't analyze what it is, just imagine that you are giving it to him.

Stay in this space for as long as necessary. Then return to the present, inhale slowly, exhale and open your eyes.

This practice can be repeated as many times as necessary. It will be a journey to different states of oneself, at different ages. And it will bring spiritual healing.

If there is a need, you can draw your inner child and pay attention to what colors you use in this.

“Be like children” - these words are genius in their simplicity and great in their essence. Being like a child means enjoying simple things, enjoying the beauty of the world, wondering at miracles and enjoying life.

To be a child is to be innocent do not burden yourself with comparisons, do not judge yourself and others. It is the ability to live, not imitate life.

It is important to establish a connection with the child inside, to talk to him, to feel in what state he is, how much he enjoys.

A recognized inner child is joy, openness to the world, spontaneity, sociability, optimism, joy, sincerity, creativity, full acceptance of oneself, humility and trust in what is happening, easy acceptance and return, generosity, positive, ease in feeling feelings, adaptability, unconditional love for to yourself and to others.

“All adults were children at first, only few of them remember this” - wise words from “The Little Prince”, reflecting the essence of life.

If you feel a response, a need to connect with your inner child, to heal your childhood traumas, use the advice in this article and start living your life to fulfill your essence as much as possible.

Listen to yourself and realize your feelings in the moment openly and clearly.

And if you want to come up and hug someone, do it without thinking about how you will be understood and how accepted.

Just come and hug, breathe together, become a single whole for a moment, without conventions and prohibitions. After all, children do so - they feel and do the action.

Children are our great teachers. Be like children!