Why do people stop making friends? The reasons can be very different. It happens that people stop being friends for no apparent reason. They just begin to meet less often, but at the same time maintain a warm relationship. Such a distance cannot be called a break in friendship. It's just that people are busy with their own problems, they have different interests, this is quite natural. You can’t spend all your free time together, especially since with age, the family comes to the fore.

In our time, when the mobile phone has almost supplanted other forms of communication, friendship is gradually transforming into friendship over the phone and eventually disappearing. When there are fewer and fewer topics for conversation, when everyone has their own life, it is possible to be friends, but it is difficult to be friends. A long absence of even one of the spouses can be the end of a marriage, so is it worth asking why people stop being friends if they meet once a year?

Often, the habit of spending time together is mistaken for friendship. At first, we like that there is a person nearby with whom it is fun, who is ready for exploits at any moment, he always comes to the rescue in difficult times, he can be trusted with his secrets.

After some time, it turns out that your secrets have not been such for anyone for a long time, that the “friend” listens to complaints about troubles much more willingly than messages about joyful events, that he prefers to perform “exploits” at your expense. Such a friendship has no future, so the sooner you end the relationship, the less painful the breakup will be.

Friendship often arises on the basis of a common interest. Colleagues at work, having many topics for discussion, get closer, begin to make friends with their families, but then either one of them changes jobs or becomes the boss, and the friendship ends. In the case of an increase, it is not always the one who occupies a higher position who initiates the gap. Banal envy does its dirty deed, and no matter how hard you try to remain the same as before, you will still be branded: “He is arrogant!”.

In search of the reason why people stop being friends, it makes no sense to look for right and wrong, and even more so, you should not bring the problem up for general discussion and pour mud on your former friend. This applies to those cases when best friends parted as enemies. For many years of friendship, a lot has accumulated, perhaps you were wrong somewhere, once you didn’t help or support. Therefore, it is better to let go of the situation and be glad that you learned about the betrayal of a friend now, and not later, that you received a blow, although painful, but not fatal.

We choose friends, they choose us, sometimes not entirely unselfishly. Some people grow, others remain in place. Circumstances change, people are separated by time and distance. If you manage to maintain a friendship no matter what, then it is worth appreciating.

Why do people stop talking to each other?

Because people stopped appreciating each other. Either old grievances have accumulated, interests have changed and there is nothing left in common.

I stopped communicating with one person I knew, with whom we had sincerely communicated for many years, because he:

1) could keep me out of favor for six months without communicating with me all this time (due to the fact that he decided that I was unworthy of his attention)

2) slandered me behind my back

3) did not respect me and treated me worse than I treated him.

I would give my last shirt off my shoulder for him, but he wouldn’t even buy me chewing gum for a ruble at a kiosk.

4) ignored me when I was in trouble, didn't even ask what happened

5) interests began to diverge, there were fewer topics for communication

6) did not warn me of the danger (as a result of which my psyche was injured), and perhaps even set up this dangerous situation himself

7) he is a manipulator and a hidden tormentor.

In my opinion, these reasons are enough to stop communicating with a person.

They often try to get rid of obsessive people.

In general, do not be offended. If a person has left your life, then this person is not your person. Of course, it's a shame. My friends also forgot about me and stopped communicating. But there's nothing to be done... You have to live on and look for new friends who will listen to you with an open heart and rejoice in you, or help you in difficult times. It's better than sycophants who are only there for you when you're doing well.

Situation 1. If a person deliberately offends or betrays his best friend, then such a person should be called a decent bastard. That is, the person had some kind of hidden anger or hidden resentment towards his friend because of some small conflict, when a new situation occurs, these negative emotions become aggravated. Or simply there is a reason for betrayal. So the man begins to spit in the soul of his friend.

Situation 2. A man teaches his friend how to lead a personal life and openly gets into his personal affairs. At the same time, not realizing that advice is good only where it is asked for. If someone tells me it's time for you to get married, I answer that it doesn't work yet, but I want to say: Leave me alone.

Situation 3. Guys-friends fall in love with one girl, she chooses one of them, and the other disappears so as not to interfere with them and not to suffer herself.

Situation 4. Friends finish their studies, go to different cities, and because of their heavy employment, they do not try to find each other. They have different interests, different concerns.

Situation 5. A guy and a girl sympathized with each other, but the relationship did not work out or one of them had one-sided feelings. If they decide to stop communicating, then it will be better for them.

If communication with my best friends stopped due to graduation from school, I later found many on the Internet, but not everyone I would like to find.

Very often people's interests change. Their inner world is changing. Something is happening in their environment. their outlook on life changes.

No matter how close best friends are, they have secrets from you, just like you also have secrets from them. You can’t even say something to your best friend so as not to offend. And even more so, any friendship and any relationship can be upset by money. Even the most understanding do not understand, and the kindest can become embittered.

And there is another thing. Here you are friends with a person, he is dear to you, you worry about him. You can scold me for stupid things, console me when in tears. And at one fine moment you understand that you are presenting him with an account: for listening to him, be kind to go somewhere with me, I helped you, and you give me a thing to use. It seems to be as if not consciously, but jealousy begins if your friend spends time not with you, but with other people. And that's when the resentment begins. Your friend is no longer happy to contact you. He will think 100 times what you present to him for a sincere conversation. Therefore, he moves away from you.

It happens that one of the friends takes on the responsibility of almost the life of a friend. He takes care of him like a parent, and this guardianship eventually tires.

In general, there can be many reasons. And the matter can be both in you and your attitude towards him, and in nm himself. And it's hard to find the truth without details.

But in any case, if a person does not want to communicate with you, then it is not necessary, your relationship has already become obsolete. Look for those who will be interested in you.

when a person says one thing and does another. It gives the impression that they are playing on your feelings. When you agree, and then his plans change and you don't know about it. Then, before the fact, you find out that he has his own affairs. Next time, then try not to deal with this person. Or they talked and agreed that they would be happy to repair the car. Naturally, it's not free. But then circumstances and you repair in a car service.

Or corny, there is simply nothing to talk about, interests have changed.

I would call friendship a phenomenon, it's so amazing when complete strangers become family and closest. We are connected with them by funny stories, sad memories, joint experiences or successes, and sometimes the whole life. For each of us, friendship is something special, everyone puts their own meaning into this concept, everyone has their own story of friendship - successful or not very successful. For example, I singled out for myself the main quality of friendship - trust, without which communication is unthinkable for me, for me a friend is someone with whom I do not have to wear masks.

Remember how in childhood it cost nothing for us to approach another with the question: “Let's be friends?” – and, as a rule, always obtain consent to this. And then joint games, secrets, secret signs, joy and fun begin. Of course, with age, the concept of “friendship” expands, a deeper meaning appears in it: now a friend is a person we can rely on, to whom we trust all our shortcomings and weaknesses. But over time, something happens, something is broken, and people stop being friends, although there were no quarrels and betrayals, so what? Let's find out!

Why do friends stop talking?

You can stop communicating with a friend for several reasons, and they are not always “tragic”, let's look at the most common ones.

1. Marriage and most often marriage, because there is still an opinion in the world that if there is a husband, then girlfriends can wait and are relegated to the background. She now spends almost all her free time on her family. And in general, many couples in love forget about friends and believe that there is nothing more important than their love. First, the wedding kaleidoscope of affairs will take all the time, then efforts are spent on creating a hearth, and after the birth of the baby, there will be no time even for sleep, not to mention friends. And friendship is torn, and when the understanding comes that something is lost and missing, it is already too late. Former friends began a new life with other interests.
2. The mobile world is both ease of communication and the "trouble" of the new generation. Of course, modern means and methods of communication allow us to communicate from anywhere in the world. But at the same time, live communication suffers a lot, not a single call, even the longest one, can replace dinner at a pizzeria or going to the cinema. And, as a rule, telephone friendships do not last long, over time, calls become less frequent and shorter, and communication on the Internet begins to be superficial.
3. Change of job - and friendship "no"! Of course, it is easiest to make friends at work, because we spend most of our day there. You have more points of contact - common problems, tasks, similar schedules, etc., hence the mutual desire to see each other more often and not only within the walls of the office. But upon dismissal or transfer to another company - this friendship can easily come to naught, it suddenly becomes obvious that, apart from a common place of work, nothing connected you.
4. New friends, hobbies, activities, hobbies - in general, few people manage to maintain the same priorities and hobbies throughout their lives. People change, and that's wonderful and absolutely normal. Someone suddenly loses their inheritance, and it becomes unnecessary to work, someone successfully marries and moves to live in another country, someone leaves everything and flies to the ocean. Naturally, it becomes difficult for some of the friends to understand and accept the new way of life of a loved one, common topics for conversation disappear, common friends disappear, and relationships cannot hold on to good memory alone.

Of course, there are still a lot of reasons why people part even with the most loyal friends - tragedy, deceit, envy, betrayal, but in these cases a person must decide for himself - to continue his friendship with such a comrade, can he forgive and forget all grievances. And now I want to tell you how you can save friendship at the first cracks in a relationship.

How to save friendship?

I am a supporter of the fact that it is necessary to save friendship, there are not so many people who are close in spirit in the world, and I am firmly convinced that it is necessary to cherish every person.

Here are 10 simple tips that will help you keep a warm relationship for years to come:

• Be grateful - Don't forget to thank your friend when they help you or are just around, and don't forget to tell them how much you appreciate them.
• Criticism is “no” - it is better to support and help with advice. Of course, objective criticism is needed, but it’s better not to agree, for example, if a friend / girlfriend reports that he did something wrong, even if this is so, just calm down, 99% of people are just waiting for this.
• Trust and be a confidant - do not discuss a friend with strangers or friends, know how to keep secrets. You both need to know and be sure that you can rely on each other at any moment.
• Going somewhere together, in no case do not leave a friend / girlfriend alone / alone without their consent.
• Spend some time apart, as friendships also need rest, and besides, then you can tell each other a lot of new and interesting things.
• There is no place for self-interest and calculation - it is wrong to be friends just for the sake of being able to use, for example, the services of a friend's car service.
• Do not talk only about your affairs and learn to listen carefully to a friend - this is one of the problems that arise between close people.
• Friendship for three or more - if your friend / girlfriend has one of the other friends, do not even try to get angry and offended. This does not mean at all that he / she will treat you worse. It is better to be glad that a person has an open and kind soul.
• Relationship support - depending on the occasion, write letters, do not forget to call, send gifts, help with a child, with repairs, and there are many options when it is worth taking care of your friendship.
• If your friends are radically changing their work / life / hobbies - first try to understand them, then accept and continue the relationship in the new conditions.

Take care of friendship - this is one of the best manifestations of a happy life!

Question:

Anya and I have been friends for five years. I thought we were fine, but for no reason she stopped talking to me. I wrote to her and asked what was wrong, but now she does not even respond to my messages. I do not know what to do.

Not really a question :). But still, let's talk about what to do when friends or girlfriends suddenly start to ignore you.

When a girlfriend or boyfriend suddenly ignores you, it can be annoying. Especially if you have no idea what caused it. AT this moment you are probably driving yourself crazy with questions, trying to understand the reason for this behavior on the part of a friend. But you may never know why...

Whatever the case, here are a few common reasons why a friend might stop talking to you, and what you can do about it.

you did something wrong

One of the reasons a friend ignores you is how something you did affected her. Perhaps she thinks that you yourself understand what act is condemned and why.

This happens when there was some kind of problem between you in the past, and your girlfriend is left feeling that this problem has not been solved. Perhaps something new has appeared in your communication, but at the same time related to that problem. And instead of discussing the problem with you again, she decided to completely cut off contact.

In situations like this, take an honest look at your behavior and how it might have been perceived by your friend. If you've had any relationship problems with your girlfriend, and you've really known her for a long time, it shouldn't be hard for you to guess why you're being ignored now. Just because you might be surprised by your friend's reaction, or perhaps condemn the "inadequacy" of her behavior, doesn't change how your friend feels about the situation. Once you recognize what the fuss is about, send your friend a message along the lines of:

“I haven't heard from you in a long time, and I'm trying to figure out why. It's not because I was then * insert problem here*? If this is the reason, I apologize. I know we've already discussed this. I would like to mend and reconcile, and if you are ready, please let me know.”

You may be wrong about what the problem is, but if so, your friend will likely correct you in her answer.

If you're right about what happened, the friend may think you've talked about it enough in the past and choose not to answer. However, a friend may get excited by such a message and make a reciprocal contact so that you can discuss the situation.

Difficult situation for a friend

There is another reason why a friend ignores you. Maybe her life has fallen on hard times, and she just doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. All people sometimes go through difficult events in life that cause them to withdraw from people or cut off contact with everyone except a couple of very close friends.

If you suspect that this is the reason, write to a friend that if anything, you are ready to be there. Do not bring up the question of why she does not contact you (even if you are almost sure what the matter is). If you are wrong, your relationship with your girlfriend can only get worse. Better write something like:

“Hi, haven’t heard from you in a long time. I am writing to let you know that if you need me to listen to you, just let me know.”

With this message, you pass the baton to her, and then it is up to her to decide how to respond to you. You can't force anyone to answer you, so all you can do is leave the question open and let her get in touch when she's ready.

You really screwed up

The third reason is a serious flaw on your part. Perhaps you screwed up so badly that now your girlfriend has absolutely no reason to continue communicating with you.

For example, if you gossiped behind your friend's back, betrayed her, didn't support her at a very important moment, or made some other serious mistake, the friend may decide not to talk to you anymore and not explain why. Unfortunately, there are situations when a major mistake is made, and friendship can no longer be saved. In this case, you have no choice but to learn a lesson for the future and live on without your girlfriend.

She wasn't such a good friend

Another reason is that someone you thought was your good friend was never really one. Perhaps you tried to establish a closer contact, and she decided that she was not interested. In this case, the person will move away from you and will simply try to avoid you.

It's easy to get upset when this happens, but as cliche as it sounds, there's nothing personal about it. Your “girlfriend” is probably trying to be as gentle with you as possible, and therefore does not want to tell you directly that she is not interested in being your girlfriend. Maybe she already has enough people in her life, or maybe she just doesn't feel like you have anything in common with her. Not everyone has good communication skills, so she ignores you instead of telling you straight.

What to do when they don't want to talk to you

If you are one of those people who obsess over why people suddenly stop talking to him, do not be discouraged - there are plenty of people like you. But at the same time, I strongly advise you not to live your life based on what other people are doing. Sending a message or email to the person saying you'd like to reconnect is an option, but even then, you should leave the word to them and don't pressure them.

Accept the fact that you may never know the real reason. Or that when you finally get to know her, you won't like her. Sometimes it's just a godsend that a certain person left you, even if you grieve over a lost friendship.

Look at it from another angle. Nobody will be in your life forever. Someone leaves silently, and someone in dramas and tantrums. Therefore, the best thing you can do is be glad that the breakup was without tantrums, forgive the person and go be friends with those who still want to be present in your life.