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The child is very difficult to study. Note to parents: what to do if the child does not want to study. About the life structure of children


What should I do if my child is not learning well?

Your child has started school this year and you're worried that your smart but inattentive kid can't keep up with the program? Or are you the mother of an older student who, despite all efforts, is not given education? Are teachers complaining that he “catches crows” in the classroom, gets distracted and can't concentrate on the lessons?

Classes on methods help to solve the problems of such children.

They help with problems such as:

  • impaired coordination of movements, motor awkwardness;
  • attention disorders;
  • hyperactivity;
  • autism spectrum disorders;
  • violations of oral and written speech;
  • school performance problems.
Classes are performed on a special balancing with an adjustable level of difficulty.
It is important that the exercises performed are difficult enough for the child so that he does not lose interest, but at the same time they are not impossible to do. When a task becomes too easy, it is made more difficult by turning the spinning rockers, making it harder to keep up. Gradually, the exercises themselves become more difficult.

So how can tossing bags and balls help?

We will try to answer this question as briefly as possible, although this is not easy, because the mechanism of action is complex and complex. First, any activity on an unstable surface requires precisely coordinated work of the vestibular, proprioceptive, visual and even auditory systems, as well as motor dexterity and coordination.
Over time, all systems of the system are connected together, forming the so-called “body map” - an internal map of where certain parts of the body are located and what they are doing. According to this map, the brain begins to process certain tasks in the background, which frees up "RAM", . Secondly, in most exercises, the child's arms constantly cross the midline of the body.

This improves communication between the hemispheres of the brain. Thirdly, our brain has the property of neuroplasticity. Those neural connections that are regularly activated become stronger and stronger. Standing on an unstable surface and doing exercises, the child is in the “combat readiness” mode, he is maximally concentrated and included in what is happening.

Regular classes eventually lead to the fact that the nervous system begins to work in this mode constantly, using all resources to the fullest, improving attention and other cognitive processes. Today, in order to practice according to the methodology, you do not need to turn to expensive “gurus”. By purchasing, you can work with your child at home, on your own. We attach a catalog of exercises compiled by us and detailed recommendations for compiling an individual program for free. In addition to the balance board itself and training manuals, you will need which we recommend purchasing right away. Also on Balance, you can practice with and.

A small list of tips to help make your school days a little easier:

  • Get ready for school in the evening. An obvious rule that many people forget about. Try to instill in your child the habit of collecting everything before going to bed - then in the morning it will be much easier and calmer, because you can just have breakfast, get dressed and go out, and not rush to look for the necessary textbooks and notebooks.
  • From the moment of awakening the child must be "charged" with positive. This is easiest to do when mom and dad are in a good mood and there is no crazy rush. You can set the alarm 15 minutes earlier and just lie down, hug and laugh before the start of the mandatory procedures.
  • Routine is good. In the morning, the brain does not work well, everyone knows this. Therefore, the morning program should be repeatable and monotonous. As an option: exercises, teeth, breakfast, a little play, dressing in uniform, going out.
  • Sooner or later, the phrase "I don't want to go to school" comes up. You have to be ready for it, and every morning. There are a lot of reasons for reluctance: from superficial (got up on the wrong foot and cold) to deep and requiring proceedings (fights, quarrels and harassment of classmates). Try to understand the true reason and help the child. Sympathize with him, help with advice or talk to the teacher.
  • At school, the teacher takes the position of a "significant adult", which means that the child needs to establish a connection with him. The focus should automatically shift to the teacher and his authority. This can also be said on the way to and from school. If the teacher was able to correctly identify himself and arouse the respect of the child, then he becomes a source of instructions and rules: "No, mother, Zinaida Petrovna said that it was necessary to bring the green folder." But here it is very important to remember that teachers are different - both good and bad. It is important to make it clear to the child that if something is wrong with the teacher, he must definitely tell his parents about it.

Does your robber have deuces in his diary again? The child does not obey, and it is simply impossible to plant him for homework? Many parents have a situation where the child does not want to study, skips school and is not attentive in the classroom.

Often adults make many mistakes in order to force their daughter or son to study. This happens because there is no knowledge of how to instill a love of learning in children. Some begin to educate in the same way as they were raised in childhood. It turns out that the mistakes of education are passed from generation to generation. First, our parents suffer themselves and force us to study, then we apply the same torture to our children.

When a child does not study well, unhappy pictures are drawn in the head of what his future may be like. Instead of a prestigious university and a degree, a third-rate technical school. Instead of a brilliant career and a good salary, a job that is embarrassing to tell friends about. And instead of a salary, pennies, on which it is not clear how to live. Nobody wants that kind of future for their children.

To understand why our children do not feel like learning, we need to find the reason for this. There are a lot of them. Let's consider the main ones.

1) No desire and incentive to study

Many adults are used to forcing a child to do something against his will, to impose his opinion. If the student resists doing what he does not want, this means that his personality is not broken. And that's okay.

There is only one way to involve a child in learning - to interest him. Of course, teachers should think about this first of all. An uninterestingly designed program, boring teachers who lead a lesson without taking into account the age of the children - all this contributes to the fact that the child will avoid learning and be lazy in completing tasks.

2) Stress at school

People are arranged as follows: first, simple needs for food, sleep, security are satisfied. But the need for new knowledge and development is already in the background. School for children sometimes becomes a real source of stress. Where kids experience various negative emotions every day, such as: fear, tension, shame, humiliation.

In fact, 70% of the reasons why children do not want to study and go to school are just because of stress. (Bad relationships with peers, teachers, insults from older comrades)

Parents may think: after all, there were only 4 lessons, the child says that he is tired, so he is lazy. In fact, stressful situations take a lot of energy from him. Yes, and causes a negative to this environment. Therefore, he begins to think poorly, his memory works worse, he looks inhibited. Before attacking a child and forcing him by force, it is better to ask how he is doing at school. Was it difficult for him? How is his relationship with other children and teachers?

Case from practice:
We had an 8 year old boy. According to the boy's mother, in the last few months he began to skip classes, often did not do his homework. And before that, although he was not an excellent student, he studied diligently and there were no special problems with him.

It turned out that a new student was transferred to their class, who in every possible way mocked the child. He ridiculed him in front of his comrades and even used physical force, extorted money. The child, due to his inexperience, did not know what to do with it. He did not complain to his parents or teachers, because he did not want to be known as a sneak. And I couldn't solve the problem myself. Here is a clear example of how stressful conditions make it difficult to gnaw at the granite of science.

3) Pressure resistance

The psyche works in such a way that when we are under pressure, we resist with all our might. The more the mother and father force the student to do homework by force, the more he begins to avoid it. This once again confirms the fact that this situation cannot be corrected by force.

4) Low self-esteem, disbelief in yourself

Excessive criticism of parents towards the child leads to his low self-esteem. If no matter what the student does, you still can’t please, then this is just such a case. Motivation completely disappears. What difference does it make whether they put 2 or 5, anyway no one will praise, will not appreciate what they deserve, will not say a kind word.

5) Too much control and help

There are parents who literally teach themselves instead of their child. They collect a briefcase for him, do homework with him, command what, how and when to do it. In this case, the student takes a passive position. There is no need for him to think with his own head and he is not capable of answering for himself. Motivation also disappears, as he acts as a puppet.

It should be noted that this is quite common in modern families and is a big problem. Parents themselves spoil their child, trying to help him. Total control kills independence and responsibility. And this pattern of behavior passes into adulthood.

Case from practice:

Irina turned to us for help. She had problems with the academic performance of her 9-year-old daughter. If the mother was late at work or went on a business trip, the girl did not do her homework. In the lessons she also behaved passively and if the teacher did not look after her, then she was distracted and did other things.

It turned out that Irina interfered heavily in the learning process from the first grade. She controlled her daughter excessively, literally did not let her take a step on her own. Here is the disastrous result. The daughter did not at all strive to study, she believed that only her mother needed it, and not her. And she only did it under duress.

There is only one treatment here: stop patronizing the child and explain why you need to study at all. At first, of course, he will relax and do nothing. But over time, he will understand that he still needs to learn somehow and will slowly begin to organize himself. Of course, it won't work all at once. But after a while it will get better and better.

6) You need to give rest

When a student comes home from school, he needs 1.5-2 hours to rest. At this time, he can do his favorite things. There is also a category of mothers and fathers, which begins to press on the child as soon as he enters the house.

Questions about grades are pouring in, requests to show the diary and instructions to sit down for homework. If you do not give the baby a rest, his concentration will be noticeably reduced. And in a tired state, he will begin to dislike school and everything connected with it even more.

7) Quarrels in the family

An unfavorable atmosphere at home is a serious obstacle to good grades. When there are frequent quarrels and scandals in the family, the child begins to worry, become nervous and withdrawn. Sometimes he even begins to blame himself for everything. As a result, all his thoughts are occupied with the current situation, and not with the desire to study.

8) Complexes

There are children with a non-standard appearance or with not very well developed speech. They often receive a lot of ridicule. Therefore, they experience a lot of suffering and try to be invisible, avoiding answers at the blackboard.

9) Bad company

Even in the first grade, some students manage to connect with dysfunctional friends. If friends do not want to learn, then your child will support them in this.

10) Dependencies

Children, like adults from an early age, can have their own addictions. In elementary school, these are games, entertainment with friends. At 9-12 years old - a passion for computer games. In transitional age - bad habits and street company.

11) Hyperactivity

There are children with excess energy. They are characterized by poor perseverance and concentration. In this regard, it is difficult for them to sit in class and listen without being distracted. And hence - bad behavior and even frustrated lessons. Such children need to attend additional sports sections. Detailed tips for you can read in this article.

If you correctly understand the cause of poor teaching at school, then we can assume that 50% of the problem has already been solved. In the future, you need to develop an action plan, thanks to which it will be possible to encourage the student to study. Screams, scandals, swearing - it never worked. Understanding your child and helping him with the difficulties that have arisen is what will create the right motivation.

13 Practical Tips on How to Motivate Your Student to Get A's

  1. The first thing every parent should know is that the child should be praised for any success.
    Then he will naturally develop a desire to learn. Even if he does something not yet good enough, he still needs to be praised. After all, he almost coped with the new task and put a lot of effort into this. This is a very important condition, without which it is impossible to force a child to learn.
  2. In no case do not scold for mistakes, because they learn from mistakes.
    If a child is scolded for something that he does not succeed in, then he will forever lose the desire to do this. Making mistakes is a natural process, even for adults. Children, on the other hand, do not have such life experience and only learn new tasks for themselves, so you need to be patient, and if something does not work out for your child, it would be better to help him figure it out.
  3. Do not give gifts for studying
    Some adults, for the purpose of motivation, promise various gifts to their children or monetary rewards for good studies. You don't have to do that. Of course, at first the baby will find an incentive and begin to try in school, but over time he will begin to demand more and more. And small gifts will no longer satisfy him. In addition, study is his daily obligatory actions and the child must understand this. Therefore, the issue of motivation will not be resolved in a similar way in the long term.
  4. You need to show your son or daughter the full degree of responsibility that lies in this lesson - study
    To do this, explain why you need to study at all. Often children who do not have much interest in learning do not understand why this is necessary. They have a lot of other interesting things to do, and classes at school interfere with this.
  5. Sometimes parents demand too much from their children.
    Even now, the training program is several times more difficult than before. Moreover, if the child, in addition to this, goes to developing circles, then overwork can naturally occur. Don't expect your child to be perfect. It is quite natural that some subjects are more difficult for him, and it takes more time to understand them.
  6. If any of the subjects is given to your son or daughter is especially difficult, then a good solution would be to hire a tutor
  7. It is better to inculcate the habit of studying from the 1st grade
    If a child in the first grade learns to achieve his goals, complete the tasks and for which he will receive praise and respect from adults, then he will no longer go astray.
  8. Help see positive change
    When your child succeeds in something very difficult, support him every time. More often say phrases like: “Well, now you do it much better! And if you continue in the same spirit, you will do very well!” But never use: “Try a little more and then it will be good.” Thus, you do not recognize the child's small victories. It is very important to maintain it and notice the slightest changes.
  9. Set an example
    Do not try to teach your child to do homework while you watch TV and relax in other ways. Children love to copy their parents. If you want your child to develop, for example, to read books, instead of messing around, do it yourself.
  10. Maintain
    If the student has a difficult test, support him. Tell him that you believe in him, that he will succeed. Especially if he tries hard, then success is inevitable. It is necessary to support even when he completely failed something. Many mothers and fathers prefer to reprimand in such a case. It is better to reassure the child and say that next time he will definitely cope. You just need to put in a little more effort.
  11. Share experiences
    Explain to your child that you can't always do what you want. Yes, I understand that you don’t like math so much, but it needs to be studied. You will be able to bear it easier if you share it with your loved ones.
  12. Point out the good qualities of the child
    Even if these are so far from good studies at school, but the positive qualities of the baby, such as the ability to help others, charm, the ability to negotiate. This will help in building adequate self-esteem and find support within yourself. And normal self-esteem, in turn, will create self-confidence.
  13. Consider the wishes and aspirations of the child himself
    If your kid is interested in music or drawing, you do not need to force him to attend a class with a mathematical bias. No need to break the kid to say you know best. All children are different and each has their own talents and abilities. Even if you force a student to study a subject he does not like, he will not achieve great success in it. Because success is only where there is love for the cause and interest in the process.

Should you force your child to study?

As you probably already understood from this article, forcing a child to learn by force is a useless exercise. So you will only make it worse. It is better to create the right motivation. To create motivation, you need to understand why he needs it. What will he gain from his studies? For example, in the future he will be able to get the profession he dreams of. And without education, he will not have any profession at all and will not be able to earn his living.

When a student has a goal and an idea why he should study, then there is a desire and ambition.

And of course, you need to deal with the problems that prevent your child from becoming a successful student. There is no other way to do this, but to talk to him and find out.

I hope these practical tips will help you improve your children's academic performance. If you still have questions, you can always contact us for help at online psychologist consultation. An experienced child psychologist will help as soon as possible to find out all the reasons why the child experiences difficulties and unwillingness to learn. Together with you, they will develop a work plan that will help your child feel the taste for learning.

I am 15 years old, I study poorly, a lot of 3, in mathematics 2, I don’t know it at all. The teacher says that such people have no future, it’s very bad for me. I thought about suicide many times. there were a lot of humiliations, at least I’m glad that I’m not one of the girls studying poorly in class. I don’t know what to do, how to be ... And thoughts of killing myself visit me more and more often. I won’t pass the GIA, I don’t know where I have to go ... and what to do next. Constantly depressed. I have no close friends and no friends either. I am a loser, that's why I think that there is no need to live in this world anymore.
Support the site:

Guest, age: 15/02/01/2013

Responses:

The teacher is wrong to say so! Everyone
talented and capable and YOU in this number! And if
you are not given what is given to the majority - this is not
means that you are a loser! I also don’t have a school
there were exact sciences and teachers inspired that I was stupid!
yes, it was very unpleasant (((I chose
humanitarian profession, completely unrelated to
exact sciences ... but about the GIA, in fact
last resort, you can retake .... but from myself I
I wish you to pass the GIA successfully!

buday, age: 24/02/02/2013

Hello! Do You really think that Your THOUGHT about failures in the upcoming exams are so true that because of them you can go to another world? What do you think is the probability of passing the exams successfully? I am sure that it is equal to 100% You will be surprised: "Yes, it can not be!" I will answer: everything is in Your hands. To achieve success, you must learn to focus on what is really important to you. Is the teacher's behavior really important to you? DOES SUCCESSFUL EXAMS DEPEND ONLY ON HIM??? If you are not satisfied with the behavior of the teacher - ignore him. In other words, abstract from the negative and strive to achieve your goals. I understand that the absence of friends is not good. But think: no friends - more time to study for exams, attend electives, take classes with a tutor. Try to find the positive in every situation. Of course, maintain relationships with your peers, do not withdraw into yourself, strive to find loyal, true and REAL friends!!! Do not be shy to ask for help from parents and relatives, communicate with them more often. Know: they have what both You and me lack, LIFE EXPERIENCE. Advice from elders can really help in difficult times. To not only get out of depression, but also prevent its subsequent occurrence, find your hobby. This can help direct your energy towards creativity, creation and self-development. Do not be afraid of difficulties!!! If fate is against you, it's worse for her!!! Temper your willpower and achieve everything that you want, that you deserve!!! Appreciate Life, for it is our main wealth. Here are my tips for the near future, I hope I could help You! Good luck!!!

Michael, age: 18 / 02/02/2013

My dear, education in itself does not bring happiness. If only
like to study. Nobody knows the future. Teacher presents
the future of man only in the university? - That's his right. There are plenty in the world
specialties that do not require education, but require
special skills. They can bring both income and joy. Yes,
not prestigious, but I really wanted to work as a cashier. My
a friend drove trams and tried a lot more. Eventually
became a chef. It's hard work, but she loves it. Managers and
economists with accountants and lawyers, in my opinion, already salt
Can!!!
Or maybe you like dog training? Or something else? Is
this is bad? Why do you need mathematics with literature?
Yes, everyone does not know where to go, not only you!!! Parents advised -
this does not count, then few people work in their specialty). Still a hundred
times will change.
All my classmates, both excellent students and losers, all settled down in
life, no one is missing. And you won't get lost. Yesterday's excellent student
graduated from MAI, sells curtains. "Troechnitsa" created an ensemble
folk song. Do points assess your personality and your
future?!

Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 02/02/2013


What do your parents say about this? They can't get you tutors?

Agnia Lvovna, age: 72 / 02/02/2013

But what difference does it make how you study, have you really never heard that all successful people are former C grade students, and all hardened losers are former excellent students. Think at least about your teachers - they have always studied a lot and well, they still study and get pennies. You know why, but because the school and institutes provide knowledge that is completely unnecessary for life.
Believe me, I’m 2 times older than you, quite a successful lady, I know what I’m saying. What do you need for life from the school curriculum ... It’s elementary to be able to count, well, you know the multiplication table, you know how to read, and you seem to write without errors. ( by the way, a rarity among young people).
What should you do... Develop and improve yourself. Do what is interesting, look for new hobbies, read articles about Personality improvement, learn to love and respect yourself. Believe in yourself.
In a few years you will become a kind of business lady - beautiful, independent successful ...
Do not pay attention to them - teachers, classmates and others who want to kill the Personality in you. They now see you as weak, on which you can mock. let them break!!!

Autumn slush, age: 30/02/02/2013

Hello! Drive these thoughts away from you further! Not
listen to your teacher, don't pay attention to
external negative. Listen only to constructive
criticism.
It doesn't matter if you study poorly. do well
what you get. Maybe in some
one area. Practice shows that
excellent students then become performers on
enterprises, and C students - leaders! This
trend. Moreover, different professions -
sea!
Trinity students are more adapted to practice
life, they do not have such complexes of an excellent student,
does not have such a fanatical attitude to learning as
excellent students, and they worry less about it
about. And anxiety only brings
mental and mental problems. Why is this
need to? And don't worry about it either.
but do what you can do. finish school
anyway, anyway. Important
adapt to practice. Most of
what a person learns in school and in the educational
institution, he will not need it at work.
Do something interesting, take a break from these
depressive thoughts. Walk outside more often.
Go in for physical education, it builds character,
willpower. Do not mix your problems together, but
solve them separately. And for every day
a certain number of tasks. So much
easier. Don't forget to rest.
You will find your friends, you have to look for them. Maybe
perhaps you will find them among your
like-minded people, for example, on some business,
hobby. It happens often.

Anthony, age: 24/02/02/2013

The girl is waiting, do you know how many adults
people who studied for deuces, triples are happy in
life. Millions. Moreover, many of them are successful.
Smile! Good luck!

Alexey, age: Wow, 39 / 02/02/2013

Expensive...! As a teacher, I can assure you that you will pass Gia. Everyone will pass, because the teachers are not their own enemies, and they still have to work in this school. And the grade is not an indicator of knowledge. If you have problems in mathematics, write - we'll figure it out.

Matilda, age: 02/31/2013

Hello! I'll tell you about my experience. What do you think happened in my life when I graduated from high school with straight A's? Absolutely nothing. Yes, I entered where I wanted to, and yes, the school base helped me easily survive the first year of university studies. So what is next? Then you only care about studying at the university and it doesn’t matter how you studied at school. I didn’t even have time to show off my school red certificate.

In general, school, university, work, pension - these are the ordinary standards of the majority. And they don't have to follow. If you want to succeed in them, then it is worth trying. If that doesn't interest you, be sure to find something that you want to excel at.

And in general, a genius in the head is better than some grades in diaries, gradebooks. Please don't limit yourself to these ratings ;)

Master student of one of the prestigious universities, age: 21 / 07.10.2013


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Child psychologist Elena Golovina answered the questions of "Evening Tram" about how parents can prepare their children for elementary school, how to seat a hyperactive child at a desk and help him establish contact with peers.

Elena Evgenievna, September 1 is not far off, hundreds of children will go to first grade after kindergarten. How to set up your child for school?

This is a long process, it is not for nothing that in kindergarten it lasts a whole year while the children attend the preparatory group. It is good if the child attended classes in preparation for school in the educational institution where he will study in the future. It is important that by school the child learns that studying is his duty, he knows the school rules, imagines how the lessons go, what is the role of the teacher, and possesses basic skills and abilities.

- If a child is hyperactive, restless, what should parents and teachers do?

It is worth separating hyperactivity as a syndrome that is diagnosed by doctors, and simply excessive activity of the child. For children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, complex medical, psychological and pedagogical correction is necessary. At the level of advice: it is important to put an active child at the first desks, strictly observe the daily routine, you should not overload the child with physical activity, because, contrary to popular belief, that he “runs in and runs out of steam”, he, on the contrary, is disinhibited and cannot calm down himself. And remember that active children need the help of adults, because their self-regulation is usually poorly developed, you need to help them get organized, start and finish things, help with homework.

- How to motivate a child so that he begins to show interest in classes?

There is no universal answer. For some children, motivation is gifts and rewards, for some, the praise of their parents is important, for others, good grades. The example of parents is important here. If a child sees that parents are happy with their work, inquisitive, active, then study will be interesting for him.

How important is it to do homework with a child at home? Can an extension or tutors (nanny) replace homework with parents?

The task of parents and teachers at the initial stage of education is to teach the child to learn. Therefore, it is good if parents help the child develop an algorithm for doing homework, they will help solve the difficulties encountered. Here it is good to act according to the principle "first together, and then on your own." If a child does tasks with a tutor or in an after-school, then the main thing is that he does not lose contact with his parents, if there is no joint educational activity, then you can communicate, walk, etc. together.

What can you say about the pressure of parents who, with shouts and a belt, are trying to “drive” knowledge into their children?

If it would bring results ... More often, parents use such methods from their own impotence. Then it is better to transfer the tasks of teaching to teachers, tutors.

If a child has a hard time studying, he doesn’t remember well, he can’t concentrate, what could be the reason and what should parents do?

Among the possible reasons may be neurological, associated with the characteristics of the child's development, and psychological, associated with the peculiarities of the course of psychological processes (memory, thinking, attention, etc.), and pedagogical, when the child does not have the necessary learning skills and abilities. It is better to contact specialists to determine the causes and solutions to problems.

- And if the child does not develop relationships with classmates and he refuses to go to school?

This is a difficult question in a particular situation, you need to understand: to find out what the child feels, perhaps he is scared or angry. Communicate with the teacher, school psychologist and together help the child adapt in the classroom.

I know a case when a girl persuaded her parents to transfer her to another school because of a conflict in the class, and then refused to go to her, demanding to return her to her former school ... In what cases is it worth going on about the child?

The opinion of the child is certainly important. But the school, in addition to teaching school subjects, is also a "rehearsal" of adult life, an opportunity to learn how to resolve conflicts, enter into relationships, and make decisions. The question of changing schools is often raised when it comes to bullying, which seriously traumatizes the child. In other cases, perhaps he should be helped to sort out the conflict, think about possible ways out of it, and sometimes just support it.

“I am engaged in getting children out of educational depression,” says Alexander Lobok, Doctor of Psychology, about his methodology.

And there are children who go out of their way Not get involved in the work, demonstrating their independence with all their appearance. And I understand: they are afraid to join in an unexpected test, because they are not confident in their abilities. These are the children in whom they do not believe at home.

– But to be unsure of one's abilities is a natural state for a person ...

“It’s not natural for a small child not to believe in himself. If a six-month-old child did not believe in himself, he would be in a state of constant fear of the outside world. And he begins to master this world, and even so assertively. Up to five years, psychologists say, the child is self-centered. The situation of egocentricity is a situation of unconditional faith in oneself.

A child is a being charged with the energy of achievement. A feat is not when something is done to me, it is when I do something to myself. I jump above my head, I make efforts that I could not make yesterday. I bravely enter a zone that is unknown to me. And doing it makes me feel like a hero. Childhood is the period when there is always a place for a feat in life. And it’s good if there are adults nearby who see and understand these micro-feats. With sincere praise from adults, the child gains more and more strength. Effort turns into strength. A move is an effort. A move is a risk. But if parents do not raise the bar, do not increase the testing space, do not set truly intriguing and difficult tasks for the child that would develop his inner strength, then they do not trust their child.

But those children in whom parents believe will be enthusiastically included in any unfamiliar trials. They will never run away from them into a corner to quietly drive a car ... Another thing is that sometimes various tests break a child's faith in himself.

- We are talking about the fact that an ordinary child needs to take more and more new heights. In a Russian school, speaking objectively, it is difficult to study. This is not a Scandinavian or elementary Japanese school... Why do school heights break children in Russia?

- School is not an easy walk around the playroom. The school involves taking difficult heights. Undoubtedly! But there are difficulties adequate, there are inadequate. There are cheap difficulties, there are expensive ones - what is called “difficulties-diamonds”. And we wonder why the learning system that we create naturally, in the family, in the circle of loved ones, has the potential to make the child many times stronger? Why does the school system, created artificially, often break children's ability to be strong?

Imagine: when you were two months old, you were brought up ... let me think about who the Chinese are! Or not, there is even a language even more difficult: you were brought up by the Vietnamese. From now on, only Vietnamese is spoken around you. The truth is that you can easily master this insanely difficult Vietnamese language. What inner courage you need to have to do it! And you can do it with ease. This suggests that in a month, two, three, four, you had self-confidence. You had courage. In your life there was a place for a feat. It never crossed your mind to reject this challenge and refuse to learn Vietnamese. You will naturally penetrate into these strange scales and decipher them. And at the age of two or three you begin to babble in Vietnamese, moreover: you freely master this language space. This task is up to you.

Amazing, right? But now - you go to school, where you are given teachers who begin to teach you according to the program and set learning tasks for you. They begin to teach you your native speech, teach you to read, write - and suddenly you start to break down. Why?

– Probably because the school forces you to do what should happen by itself?

- Certainly. When a child learns oral speech, it happens by itself. If a two-year-old child were to build a program for mastering oral speech, distributing the educational material into lessons, and pestering him from morning to evening: “Study, study, after you master this set of words, we will move on to the next words” ... What was would? Children would not master the language. Not Chinese, not Vietnamese, not Russian. Never. But for some reason, kids master their native language.

I emphasize that they all do it on their own trajectories. It is impossible to say in advance about any child what words and phrases he will have first, second, etc. The traditional "mom and dad" are signal words. I mean, it's not even a word. These are appeals. Words are those that have individual semantics. Do you know how unusual a child's first words can be? One of my acquaintances, a two-year-old girl, the very first independent word was the word "refrigerator". But she pronounced it like this: "di". That is, she isolated a certain carrier sound combination from a long word. And, of course, she delighted her parents: “Hurrah! Our Dusya says the word "refrigerator"!

Naturally, in such a situation, it would not occur to any sane parent to scold a two-year-old child for “wrong pronunciation”. Quite the opposite: nothing but sincere joy and sincere delight. And, of course, very little time passes, and Dusya begins to say the word “refrigerator”, and many other words in a form much more familiar to the ear ... All children act in this way: they pull out some sound or a sum of sounds from a word and start using it.

And adults at first do not even understand what the child is saying. But guess - and rejoice. And as a result, learning a language becomes a great joy for a child...

Each child has their own individual trajectory of mastering speech. And literacy is an intuition that is formed at the tip of the tongue in the process of activity. But a child who has freely and courageously mastered the language space goes to school and discovers that literacy within the walls of the school is something else. It is the relentless pressure that gives the child an insane fear of making a mistake. And therefore, the technologies of teaching reading, which are now accepted at school, in children - with rare exceptions - cause rejection. Let's remember what parents complain about most often when it comes to school reading lessons?

– "My child knows letters but can't read." Or: “My child can read, but doesn’t want to…”

- Right! "He can read, but he doesn't want to." This is an accurate diagnosis. I will say what is behind these words: such a child can not read. Because being able to read means wanting to read. Reading is not the folding of syllables into words, reading is the generation of meanings. Learning to read means learning to see what is hidden behind the text. A child who simply puts letters together does not read, that is, does not generate meanings. He simply speaks the characters on the page of the book. If a child can read, he always wants read.

And now we come to a very important point. The fact is that there are many children in school who do not really know how to read and count. If a child cannot read, every year at school his problems grow like a snowball. He cannot read the condition of the problem. He can't read the homework page of his textbook. He can read the symbols on the page, but he cannot understand what meanings are hidden behind them. He does not keep up with the work of the class in the lesson. And they give him more and more new tasks! This is followed by distrust of teachers, distrust of parents, destruction of self-esteem ... We strive to invest in children at school the most difficult and for this we endlessly overload programs. But in fact, these children are inhibited in relation to elementary things.

– So everything is simple? If a child does not do well in school, should we try to teach him to read?

- No, it's just difficult. You can not teach to read by showing the child the letters. It's useless. It is necessary for him to form the semantic and imaginative muscles of reading, just as the muscles of an athlete are formed. So that the child learns to IMAGINE what he reads. But that's what the school doesn't teach.

They sometimes say about me that I "work as a democratic teacher." No, when I work with children - both successful and unsuccessful - I quite authoritatively lead them through all sorts of tests. This is the only way to teach real reading - reading as the generation of one's own images and meanings. I create for each child individual difficulties that can rekindle his excitement. The task should be difficult, but at the same time interesting, with a really working intrigue. Then the excitement of meeting with difficulties awakens in the child.

- When teachers say: “Oh, how well we would teach if there were no these tablets!” For me, this is a diagnosis of pedagogical incompetence. It would be great if we had one black plate in the village, which from time to time purrs and lets out a little information. Then I, the teacher, would be godfather to the king, with my suitcase of books that I brought with me to the village to reveal the worlds to children. Indeed, the poorer the environment, the easier the task of the teacher. He has in stock the amount of ready-made moves that can be used in any situation. When my competitor is a tablet with a game that a child holds in his hands, not noticing anything around, I need to rack my brains. How can I become more interesting for a child than this tablet? Today I am working with a group of preschoolers in kindergarten. How many different toys this group has! Every now and then I hear complaints: now, if half of these toys were removed, how much easier it would be to deal with children. Too many temptations! But these temptations are a challenge for me. Who am I in relation to them? Can I become as interesting and even more interesting for children than a tablet game? If I can't, I'm worthless as a teacher.

– Can you tell me how to make reading a book more interesting for a child than a computer game?

- Certainly. The first condition is to take a book without pictures. Unfortunately, on the shelves of the kindergarten library, where we are talking, there are only picture books. Let's take "Winnie the Pooh" and cover the picture with our hand. The first magic that I can do after looking at this page is to turn the letters - and for a child this is still dots and dashes - into meanings. We read: “Sometimes,” said Eeyore, “when people take someone’s house, there remains a piece or two that they don’t need, which they will gladly return to the former owner.” I performed a technical miracle: I turned symbols into words. But when I read the letters, they were not yet spiritualized, because this is a special work of the imagination that goes on at the same time. “Sometimes”… – after reading this, I pause… and suddenly, right in this pause, it dawns on you what “sometimes” means. Sometimes... tell me what happens to you sometimes. Imagine you are a child...

– Sometimes I feel like crying...

Here! Sometimes you feel like crying. More!

– Sometimes I want to listen to music.

– Super! You suggested two phrases, and through these phrases the word "sometimes" was spiritualized, filled with meaning. We read the word "sometimes" - and a chain of internal associations immediately starts inside us. For you, the word "sometimes" is soulful and real. It has been revealed to you. This is something that you cannot depict with any picture, this is your inner work. There are six-year-olds who still do not feel the difference between the words "sometimes", "always", "never". The word "sometimes" did not have time to appear to them. And we must try to show it. What is the difference between a reading child and a non-reading child? He sees a flash of an image with every word he reads. It happens at lightning speed. And in this flash, the word appears to him. The imagination of a child is a saving thing. If we learn how to use its thermonuclear energy, much will become possible.

The child in our world saves himself by imagination. But the school did not learn how to convert the energy of his imagination into educational things. She always wants to give her children something of her own. And we are still very little striving to listen to children's speech, we do not know how to cultivate it. And that is why the book is enchantingly needed in the modern world. Especially a book without pictures.

Because a book without pictures is the only thing that truly allows a person to develop his imagination. Reading it, you are constantly creating heroes inside yourself, constantly creating visual images in yourself. Humanity has not yet come up with another such effective tool.

What we practiced, I call "hole reading." What happens to you at the moment when I pause and invite you to continue the sentence? Your imagination awakens. During these pauses, the child begins to perceive the word in many dimensions. He learns to distinguish between word endings and cases. He quickly begins to develop syntactic, spelling and semantic hearing. So he begins to learn to read. And when children begin to feel the text, they understand that it is much more interesting than watching a movie. Reading wins over visualization, which has become too much in the world over the past thirty or forty years. But I say thank you to computer games and visual culture in general for creating this level for us.

Now we're talking about babies. Is it possible to teach reading to an underachieving high school student? It is sometimes said that teenagers at this age are already corrupted by the school system...

- No one is corrupted! In life, each of us is faced with different practices: among them are right, wrong, dubious ... So what? Do we say to ourselves that we are corrupted by them? I also practice hole reading with high school students. We read with them not "Winnie the Pooh", but - the most incomprehensible (and therefore most boring) physics textbook for them. The most interesting thing is that the content of the chapters they read is assimilated by them firmly, although they do not think about physics as such at that moment.

- Twenty years ago your book “Another Mathematics” was published, in which you explained that many children leave school without having learned the simplest arithmetic operations. What can be done to help these children?

- Watching with what torment children subtract, multiply and divide, learn the multiplication table or poems, I understood that it was impossible. It occurred to me that a game could be made that would develop these skills and help them click through the school program - at least the elementary school program - like seeds. The game is intended for family entertainment. And as side effects, it allows the child to learn to read, write, master the entire amount of arithmetic skills, learn the multiplication table, memorize poetry. Nobody teaches him this, it comes by itself during the game.

In twenty years of working with children and adults, I have come up with many different games. And all this has not even been inventoried yet, which would be nice to do.

The most popular among children and adults are my "Archicards" - special playing cards, language or mathematical. Some families already take "archicards" with them on vacation, as they used to take playing cards. Parents begin to play them: before, with such excitement, they cut themselves on the beach in a throw-in fool or played on the train "to the cities." "Archicard" is no less interesting than traditional card games, and you can play it for hours, enjoying both the game and the communication that is built into the game. But unlike ordinary cards, Archicard allows - as if by the way - to master many of the most important educational skills: learn to quickly and efficiently add, subtract, multiply and divide, learn to imagine and write correctly, learn to read and create a palette of author's meanings ... And it does it is so that it is equally interesting for both adults and children.

I am now thinking about making a video encyclopedia of these games for caring parents. It would take too long to describe this in a book. Showing with a live example how you can play the same "Archicard" is much more exciting.

Sometimes I receive letters from parents that the child has started playing Archicard and abandoned the tablet. That's great! And then I thought: what if we make an “archicard” for a tablet? Maybe then a lot of children will play it, and not shooters and runners?

– Are you more willing to work with parent communities today than in the education system?

– To be honest, twenty years ago, when I did the same as part of my probabilistic experiment, there was no such excitement. People did not understand what I was doing and why it was necessary. Twenty years ago everyone wanted to reform the school. And now parental communities have declared themselves, who have felt responsible for the education of their children. Family education is something that is relevant for people all over the world. Therefore, I am invited not only by Russian parent communities, but also by parent communities in different countries ...

- And the last question: what should parents of losers do? Waiting for the miracle of meeting a teacher who will help their child?

“Parents need to learn this on their own. There is a lot they can and should learn on their own. No matter how critical we are about the school, the problem of a loser is, in most cases, the problem of his parents. When parents are insecure, they begin to project that insecurity onto their children. They say: “We did not take place, but it must take place!” Everything rests on the readiness of the parents themselves to perform feats from time to time. Then the child will have a desire to break through, to take his height.

– For parents of losers, the biggest feat is to believe in their child ...

- And he must feel the parental faith in everything: in words, intonations, in our views. The worst thing you can do is pretend to believe in this child. Faith must be real. This is the main thing.

With Alexander Lobk, the author of the books “Another Mathematics”, “Probabilistic World”, “Anthropology of Myth”, “Chartography of Childhood”, “The Science of Apprenticeship” - we are talking in the living room (at the same time the library) of the kindergarten. Handmade dolls, kings, queens, princes, coachmen and even horses harnessed to the carriage look at us. Each one is about the size of a child. This is the character of the Cinderella story. Japanese tables with mother-of-pearl inlays are placed on carpets in front of the sofa. At these tables, parents read old children's books to their children. Books stand in dense rows right here on the shelves. This is the family reading room of preschool department No. 3 of Moscow school No. 15. In other words, a kindergarten. The voices of huge parrots that live among the palm trees in the glass winter garden could be heard in the living room. There are two winter gardens. Their inhabitants doze in the Moscow twilight. Only the monkey affably pulls its paw towards the guests through the bars of the cage. “Don't try to shake her paw in return. She asks you for a banana!” - Kindergarten employees explain to me. And the applicant is immediately delivered what she asks for. And behind the glass walls of the winter garden, in the usual school grounds surrounded by high-rise buildings, they live in warm aviaries that take the children for a ride. What does the health department say about this? Don't know. This is a public kindergarten. There are thousands of them. There were just people who wanted children to come to a fairy tale every day ...