If a man is afraid of a woman. When a man should worry about fear of women

08.08.2019

In love affairs, men and women behave differently. The girls are waiting for the object of their love to turn their attention to them.

It is believed that men are the first to meet and have a serious relationship. But sometimes this is not so in reality and the girls wonder why this man is afraid of me - the woman he is in love with? What's wrong with me?

A woman may notice that the object of her passion is not indifferent to her, but does not take any steps towards her. Or the relationship had some beginning, but has no continuation. What is the reason for this behavior of men?

Signs of a man in love

Let's try to figure out if a man is really in love with you? Maybe you are in captivity of your own illusions, and you just want to see mutual feelings?

Let's list the main signs of a man in love:

The lover seeks to learn as much as possible about the girl he likes. Men can try to get information about you in different ways, and not necessarily directly from the object of their passion, by texting with you on social networks, SMS. But, the lover will definitely show interest in the life of his chosen one.
A man in love will try to fulfill any of your requests. He may have to postpone some of his own important affairs. But for a lover, there is nothing more important than the request of a beloved woman.
At the time of falling in love, a man ceases to notice other women in principle. For him, there is one object of passion that must be conquered. Therefore, you are unlikely to hear how he brags to friends or acquaintances of his victories on the love front.
He will not refuse to meet with you and will not ignore your calls. If a man is really busy at a business meeting, he will definitely call you back and will not leave you unattended.
A man in love tries to keep an eye on his appearance. Not every man considers it important for himself to dress fashionably and use expensive perfume, but a lover will always make sure to look neat and clean in the eyes of his beloved.
Any man wants to appear in the eyes of others as a financially successful person. And if a man falls in love, then he wants to show his success to the object of his passion. Everyone, of course, will do it differently, to the best of their ability. One will meet after work and give a modest bouquet of flowers, and the other will invite you to an expensive restaurant to show his ability to pay any bill.
Friends and girlfriends of a man in love, who have known him for a long time and well, may note that with the object of his passion, the lover behaves in a completely different way. Behavior change is also one of the main signs of falling in love. From an assertive Casanova, he can turn into a quiet romantic, and from a modest stay-at-home - into a man ready for any adventure, for the sake of his beloved.
A man in love may be the first to start thinking about creation. Seriously falling in love, a man is ready for anything, even for the loss of bachelor's freedom. And you don't have to wait for an offer, or make any hints. A man in love will himself start a conversation on this topic.
A man in love will definitely introduce a girl to friends and relatives. He sees in his beloved perfection itself. And he wants close people to appreciate his choice.

So, you are sure that the man is crazy about you. Why doesn't he get to know you or your relationship has stopped developing?

Reasons why a man is afraid to meet first

How awkward a person becomes when he truly loves!
How quickly self-confidence flies from him!
And how lonely he seems to himself; all his vaunted experience suddenly dissipates like smoke, and he feels so insecure.
Erich Maria Remarque

Men in love are very vulnerable, and often they are afraid, for one reason or another, to take the first step. The conquest of a woman is a certain risk that can entail a blow to men's self-esteem. Consider the main fears of men.

The man is afraid of your higher social and financial position. It is very important for males to occupy a higher position on the social ladder.
You seem too beautiful to a man, and he considers beautiful girls to be windy twigs. He thinks that your feelings, even if they are mutual, will not last long. And this deeply hurts his conceit.
You seem so beautiful to a man that he considers himself an unworthy person. The reason for this, rather, lies in his own self-esteem.
Your beauty makes him think that you are looking for material well-being from your partner only. Men are afraid that beautiful women are looking for money in their partners. They doubt the sincerity of the feelings of such girls.
The man is afraid of the very situation in which the girl will refuse him. Perhaps he just lacks determination or he has already had a similar traumatic experience in the past and cannot forget about it.
A man is afraid that if he fails, he will be laughed at by friends, your girlfriends, or any other people who will witness his courtship. Lovers have a hard time ridicule and discussion, so for many men this is an unacceptable situation.

A man is already half in love with every woman who listens to him speak.
Francis Bacon

If you like a man, take the position of an active listener in a conversation with him. Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions. For a man in love, this is of great importance. In fact, you will let know that he is interesting as a partner.

Reasons why a man is afraid of a woman

It happens that an acquaintance has already begun between a man and a woman, and even some kind of romance, but it does not develop. The man stops taking the initiative, although it is clear that he is also in love with you.

What is the reason for this behavior?

You keep the image of a beautiful diva with whom he feels less confident.
The over-stress of a date makes it difficult for him to relax and start taking decisive steps. Try to appear in a new guise, in the form of the girl next door.
It seems to him that you do not reciprocate, as you continue to communicate with a large number of men.
He is afraid that he will not be able to create a family with such a girl. Let him know that the feelings are mutual, and the time spent with him is important to you.
You are acting too independently and he doubts his ability to take care of you.
A man wants to become a protector and support for a woman, and if he is deprived of this opportunity, then he begins to doubt his masculinity next to you.
Your life is filled with too intense social events, work.
Not all men will accept that a woman devotes little time to them. It is worth considering whether you can change for the sake of your beloved, or whether it is worth parting so as not to hurt each other.
You are deprived of your own interests, and you begin to get too much into the life of a man, or show excessive concern for him.
It is important for a man to be free in his choice, even if this choice is to be with his beloved. Men love to take care of themselves, demonstrating their strength and skills.
Stop calling him, asking if he ate and what shirt he wore, because he is not a child for a long time. Let him take care of you himself.

When a man takes care of you, helps in something, do not forget to admire how well and skillfully he does it.

Mention that you would never have done it yourself. Do it sincerely, and you will feel how the man will be transformed. He will feel like a hero in the eyes of his beloved and will be filled with a willingness to perform other feats for her.

The sorceress who removes the fears of a man

We have listed many reasons why a man is afraid of the woman he is in love with. This list shows us that men are no less vulnerable than women, they just show it in a different way.

But how to become the one that a man will not be afraid of? Just relax!
Thanks to this article, you can already know for sure whether your love is mutual. There remains a small matter - to allow events to develop on their own.

Show your femininity. Let your beloved man really take the leading role, even if at work you are the boss and are used to controlling everything. Well, if he still does not take the initiative, then perhaps he is simply not the hero of your novel.

Do you agree with this? Leave your opinion in the comments.

The behavior of a man who is in love is somewhat different from that of a woman in love. In particular, women tend to openly express their feelings towards the stronger sex. But a man, on the contrary, can behave absolutely normally when meeting with his subject of sighing.

Many women are concerned about the question of how to recognize that a man is in love with you and plans to build a serious relationship with you. Knowing the attitude of a man to his person, women are easier to make contact, openly flirt with a man to whom they are deeply sympathetic. Therefore, for the further development of relationships, it is very important for women to understand whether a man is in love or whether it is a light, insignificant flirtation on his part.

Despite the skillful hiding by men of their feelings, it is the behavior that betrays their true feelings.
The first feeling that arises is confusion. A confident, narcissistic and strong man who is used to always winning, to some extent impudent, suddenly falls into the power of emotions and feelings and loses all his ability to think in the presence of the culprit of this state. He becomes a shy and insecure person, while he cannot do anything. After each such meeting, he begins to reproach himself for such behavior, feeling like a complete idiot that he cannot open his feelings.

A man in love shows persistent attention to an object of interest to him. At the same time, persistence can manifest itself in a variety of forms, for example, in the form of an invitation to the theater or cinema. But at the same time, each such surprise is carefully planned by him, pondered with the fear that it may be rejected. Attention can also be shown not in a friendly form, but even aggressive, in the form of ridicule and sarcastic remarks about a woman, which also indicates his partial indifference to her.

A man in love tries to communicate as much as possible with the object of his adoration, tells a lot about himself, about his childhood, family, habits and hobbies. He is constantly looking for meetings with this particular woman, while inventing the most ridiculous reasons for this. In one company, he also prefers it as an interlocutor. This behavior of a man in love is explained by the fact that subconsciously he wants this woman to become a part of his life. But since the relationship between them is not yet so close, the only option for him is to tell her as much as possible about himself, for him the positive opinion of his beloved woman about him is of great importance. In addition, a man who has fallen into the power of love feelings will listen carefully to his interlocutor himself, be interested in her aspirations, goals and desires. He will be glad to find any coincidences in his life priorities and his woman.

Very often, a man who is seriously interested in a woman tries to bring some benefit to the woman, takes care of her, is ready to help in all the difficulties she faces, spending her money and time, sometimes connecting existing connections. In general, he tries to become a positive character in the eyes of a woman.

A man in love is always close to the object of his love. At the same time, the woman herself feels his piercing gaze on herself. Such a man is always ready to accompany this woman. He is always aware of where the woman is and what she is doing, although she does not tell him about this.

If suddenly a man began to carefully monitor his appearance, hairstyle, often appear in new clothes or began to work out in the gym, then all this suggests that he is in love.

A man in love is very jealous, especially if men are hovering around his woman, in whom he sees real rivals. Assertiveness and aggression towards them betrays his feelings. The feeling of jealousy will eat him up from the inside, so in order not to worry even more, he may even begin to avoid meeting with his beloved woman.

A man in love begins to think about his financial situation and how to improve it, which suggests that thoughts about a joint future with his beloved woman are hovering in his head. Consequently, soon one should expect a recognition of feelings.

However, not all men can show their feelings because of their pride and strong character, or because of a lack of faith in love. Such men may deliberately avoid communicating with a woman of interest, show coldness in communication, and not look in her direction. Men are most afraid of showing their weakness, and women are confusing. But even this behavior speaks of a man's love. For example, if at a party with all his friends he is equally friendly and sweet, namely, he noticeably avoids you, while you did not give any reasons for such behavior, most likely, he is trying to hide his attitude towards you. In this case, you need to approach him and start a conversation on a neutral topic, while carefully studying his behavior, breathing, facial expressions ... Being in potential proximity to you, he will no longer be able to behave like a statue.

Gestures and facial expressions also betray a man in love.

For example, when meeting with the same group of friends, look in which direction the toe of his boots is turned. If in your direction, all the facts are on the face.
If, when communicating with you, a man puts his hands on his hips, clings to a belt with his fingers, this indicates an obvious sexual attraction, which, in turn, is the main sign of falling in love.
The behavior of a man in love is subconsciously aimed at reducing the distance between you, therefore, when talking with you, a man in love will most likely enter your personal space, that is, he will shorten the distance (up to half a meter).
The look betrays the love of a man. If you are not only of friendly or business interest for a man, then his gaze will wander around your entire silhouette, and not focus on any particular point.

However, women often naively take wishful thinking, see sympathy where there is none. For example, if, while talking to you, a man twitches or tugs at your earlobe, this indicates that the conversation is not of interest to him. Or, for example, if a man with all his appearance and behavior hints at sexual intercourse, then do not expect a serious relationship from such a person. It is unlikely that your communication will grow into something more and longer. As soon as he gets what interested him in you, all interest will disappear, and he will switch to another object.

By the behavior of a man, you saw all the signs of his love and want him to be the first to take the initiative, then support him in this. A radiant look and a friendly and flirtatious smile will do the trick. Know how to listen to a man, show with your appearance that you are not indifferent to him, that only with him you feel like a happy person. He will definitely notice this and take steps to meet it.

Despite the fact that male love differs significantly from female love, it is still sincere. It is quite easy to see and recognize it. The main thing is not to miss it.

Falling in love between a man and a woman is the most unpredictable "element" that can appear or disappear at one moment. Due to their restive nature, representatives of the stronger sex tend to keep emotions "in check" - that is why sometimes it may seem that the chosen one is afraid of his lady of the heart. But sometimes the fear of the beloved is a real problem that interferes with building further relationships.

Signs of falling in love

The manifestation of tender feelings, as a rule, in men does not occur immediately. First, they look closely at the girl, study her and only then open their hearts. But even before the young man openly declared his love, it can be recognized by his behavior.

Timidity. At the initial stage, even the most confident man will feel some indecision towards the girl he likes.
Confused speech. In a conversation with the subject of sighing, the young man will stumble - every word, in such a situation, is carefully considered.
Jokes. As you know, a sense of humor has always attracted the fairer sex. Therefore, in order to please a girl, a man will try in every possible way to make her laugh and amuse.
Desire to please. In the eyes of his girlfriend, a man always wants to look better. He will carefully monitor his wardrobe, hairstyle, posture, so that his beloved can appreciate him.
Sight. The first thing that betrays feelings is the eyes. It is almost impossible to take them away from the desired lady: the man now and then glances in her direction, examining her from head to toe.
Frequent meetings. A long separation from the object of adoration seems to the stronger sex unbearable, so men try in every possible way to organize general leisure or arrange random meetings.
Touches. Non-verbal signs of falling in love betray this feeling at the very beginning. If a man sits closer to you, accidentally touches his hand or straightens your hair, you have definitely become the girl of his dreams.
Care. When a representative of the stronger sex learns any feelings for a girl, he immediately triggers the instinct of a defender. He wants to protect his woman from everyone and everything, to guarantee her peace and tranquility.
Compliments. Perhaps, our list should have started from this point. If a man presents a lady with pleasant words, emphasizes her individuality, does not hide his admiration for her appearance and character, then she is definitely not indifferent to him.

There are some more signs of falling in love that are characteristic of both women and men. You can see them in the video below.

6 reasons for fear

Despite all the strength of his feelings, a man in love may not show them for a very long time. One of the main reasons for this indecision is the fear of starting a new relationship.

In addition, for most of the stronger sex, an important role in revealing their feelings is the alleged response of the chosen one. If the guy sees and feels that the lady of his heart is not ready to build a relationship with him, most likely the man will not take the first steps.

There are also several other reasons for men's fear of women and relationships.

Self-doubt. A man may think that he is unworthy of the object of his admiration - too low income, expressionless appearance, not outstanding abilities. Even if all this is absolutely contrary to reality, many men underestimate themselves and their capabilities.
"Mercantile component". When a very beautiful girl has sunk into the heart of a young man, he may think that she only needs an “overseas millionaire”. Such an opinion, as a rule, discourages the desire to build relationships.
Confidence in the presence of an opponent. If a man likes a beautiful and successful woman, he can create an illusion for himself and imagine another man who is already seeking the location of the desired lady.
"What if she's a bitch?" Such a thought visits every guy when he begins to reflect on his feelings for a girl. Sometimes for the emergence of such an obsession, you do not need a reason - many representatives of the stronger sex mistakenly rely on their intuition in this matter.
Fear of not living up to expectations. Especially men are afraid to disappoint their lady in bed. And, in order to prevent such an oversight, they simply do not show their feelings.
Fear of consent. A man can show his adoration for a long time, take care of a girl, but at the same time not take serious steps. And the reason will be very commonplace - he simply does not know how to behave in a "real" relationship.

Fear of women has its own name - gynophobia. This fear can develop during childhood or after a failed relationship. You can learn more about this male fear in the video below.

What kind of women are men afraid of?

Who would have thought that men could be afraid of women? Often it’s not a matter of weakness of character, gentleness, or self-doubt. Some types of the fair sex scare guys away for one reason or another.

So what kind of ladies do men try to avoid in every possible way?

"Vamp Woman". An aggressive girl who makes scandals out of the blue can only be good in films. In life, such a character is unlikely to please a man.
"Dictator in a Skirt". If a man is constantly told what to do, what to do and where to go, then he will probably go in the opposite direction. Not even so - he will run away from such a young lady while she will make up his new daily routine.
"Home boss". Leadership positions usually have a detrimental effect on girls - they transform from business women into intolerable women. The boss's mode does not turn off with her beloved men.
"Puppeteer". A woman who tries in every possible way to influence the decisions of her man also risks being left with nothing. In attempts to manipulate a loved one, such ladies do not notice how they are being removed from them.
"Abnormal hysterics." Then she laughs, and after five minutes she rolls her eyes and sobs excitedly because of a broken nail. Emotionality, of course, should be present in a woman, but it is very important to observe her "dosage" so as not to frighten a man.
"Planner of the Century". While the man was preparing the perfect first date, she ordered a wedding dress, looked after the country for a trip together and studied a collection of names for the unborn child. And when all this information falls on a guy in the midst of their romantic dinner, he will immediately panic and run away.
"Fatal Beauty". Most often, a beautiful woman becomes an object of adoration for a man. But it is her attractiveness that can scare off - many representatives of the stronger sex feel insecure next to luxurious ladies.

You can learn more about the types of women who inspire fear in men in the video.

Test "What woman are you?"

To have a clear idea of the attitude of men towards themselves. we recommend taking the test and determining your type.

Being in the circle of friends, I:

In conversation with men, I:

If a man makes an ambiguous pause during a conversation, I:

In order to please me, a man must:

I often hear compliments from friends about who I am:

My wardrobe is dominated by:

In the relationship between a man and a woman, the main thing:

My favorite genre in cinema is:

My parents said that the main thing in life is:

What kind of woman are you?

Patroness

This is such a woman-mom, she cares about a man, but as a dependent person, she believes that he needs her advice and instructions, that without them he simply cannot cope. Since she perceives a man as a child, and herself as a parent (this happens on a subconscious level), accordingly, she uses methods of education in relationships - encouragement and punishment. Did it right - get a "candy", guilty - "you won't go for a walk!"

Simpleton

You know how to have fun and rejoice from the heart and never try to build some kind of image out of yourself. If you like a man, then he will certainly find out about it: your sincerity is hard not to notice. But you should remember that a man is, first of all, a “hunter”, who should have a passion for “prey,” that is, for you. And if earlier outright simplicity was in the price, now its place is taken by intriguing uncertainty. Therefore, if you are striving for a long and happy relationship, try to tame your immediate naivety, which can alienate your chosen one. But at the same time, do not hide your natural simplicity, but learn to use it as needed.

This is a true woman who realizes her feminine destiny in a love relationship. She very deeply feels both herself and the man, knows how to truly understand him and accepts him for who he is, thereby helping him to develop and achieve high results. Such a woman always looks attractive, cheerful, she is light and airy, some special energy comes from her that beckons. Men are pleased to be in her company, because they feel absolutely safe. A man next to a woman-muse feels like a real Man.

Indecision Factors

Even if a man has found his ideal in all respects, he can "back out" due to some factors.

Success. Strong women have always gotten some fear in men. Next to them, they are afraid to seem frustrated and weak. Therefore, according to statistics, successful and rich girls who have independently built their careers and achieved financial well-being are more likely to remain lonely.
Independence. This factor is related to the previous one, but this is not only about financial independence. If a woman can do without male help in any area of life - just fix the tap, go shopping, raise a child, then a representative of the stronger sex will feel unnecessary.
Categorical. Men love to be yielded to. If they do not have the right to their own opinion, or if their every decision is subject to thorough discussion, then they will not want to stay close to such a strict and picky girl.
Care. As mentioned above, it is important for a man to feel like a protector. If this "duty" has already fallen on the shoulders of the beloved girl, then from whom and what to protect her?
Attractiveness. Every guy dreams of having a stunning beauty next to him. But it is very difficult to keep such a girl - there are usually crowds of admirers around her who want to take her away. Therefore, a man can take the path of least resistance and abandon the idea of being close to his beloved.

Ways to "keep" the chosen one

If the beloved man began to move away, you should reconsider your behavior. The first step in solving this problem is a thorough analysis of the existing relationship.

Step 1: how long have you been together?
If a man begins to avoid communication with you after long years of marriage, he may just be tired. In this case, you should defuse the situation a little and take a break from each other - a separate rest would be a great idea.
Step 2: how much time do you spend working?
It may be that, due to the complete immersion in a new position, you completely forgot about your beloved. If you stop taking an interest in his life, then there is a great risk that he will go to a more attentive woman.
Step 3: do you have fans?
When a woman has a line of admirers, a man may become jealous or give up and step aside.
Step 4: are you no longer a mystery?
The interest of both parties continues as long as it is fueled by fresh sensations. If everything has become routine, and there are no more innovations, the man will get bored.
Step 5: is everything good in bed?
One of the most important factors in the preservation of relations is the full-fledged "fulfillment" of the conjugal duty. If a woman often has a "headache" and is not in the mood for physical love, the guy will definitely go to look for her on the side.

So, if everything described above fully characterizes your relationship with your loved one, you should start sounding the alarm. Such difficulties will definitely scare the representative of the stronger sex and make him think about whether he wants to be with such a woman.

To avoid male fear and refresh past feelings, it is enough to adhere to simple "recipes".

be light and fun, do not complicate the relationship;
spend more time with each other;
do not try to solve all the issues yourself;
trust your partner;
leave work at work, do not take it home with you;
do not "nag" him over trifles;
treat casual admirers more dismissively than your loved one;
avoid ridiculous quarrels and scandals.

How to keep a guy from being afraid?

If there is no relationship yet, but you really want to connect life with a man who fears you, you should slightly reconsider your character. In addition, there are several simple ways to help a man get rid of his fear of his beloved woman.

Don't push yourself. The biggest fear is caused by too active women, so you should not take all the initiative into your own hands.
Always remain yourself. “Throwing dust in the eyes” and in every possible way emphasizing her dignity on the first date, a woman runs the risk of scaring off her partner later.
Be democratic. When you first meet a potential boyfriend, leave your desire to be in charge at the door. Leave the right to choose everything for the man and do not make a contemptuous look if something went wrong.
Be gentle. Gentle and sensual girls have always attracted the stronger sex. Already at the initial stage of a relationship, let a man have a desire to patronize you.
Give up the whims. If already at the first meeting a girl throws a tantrum because of the wrongly chosen restaurant or tells with envy how her friends are resting in Bali, the guy may be frightened of such difficulties.

Many men cannot be alone with a woman or even speak. Therefore, below we will tell you what to do and how to deal with it. It is necessary to understand which women should be feared and which should not.

Can a man be afraid of the woman he is in love with?

Many men, having met the same one, begin to back down, explaining this by a huge number of various reasons. But they may not always be 100% right. It is in human nature to hide from the good, to be afraid of it and repel it in all possible ways.

Not everyone can believe that they deserve true happiness, love, so many often miss true love. But the question "why?" we will try to answer.

b "> Can a man be afraid of a beautiful woman?

If a woman is very beautiful, some men begin to complement in her presence, thereby showing fear of her and a serious relationship. He feels a little worse than a monkey. Many women ask the question "why is this happening?"

Meeting a beauty, some begin to worry whether she will be faithful, whether she will not find herself a more successful, wealthy, beautiful, intelligent. Some people need a very long time to just get up the courage to come up and talk, what to say about a serious relationship. Therefore, insecure men try to avoid them, looking for an inconspicuous standard beauty girl as a soul mate.

Of course, you don't need to make Baba Yaga out of yourself on purpose. If you're really interested, show him what he means to you. That in addition to appearance, there are others, much more important than quality. Be it the love of home comfort, children, a categorical dislike of betrayal, betrayal.

At such moments, a loved one will be able to understand that he is appreciated for his attitude, and not for his beauty. After all, fear appears when thinking about betrayal, treason. Therefore, most often fatal beauties remain lonely forever. This problem has been studied in psychology for a long time and a solution has been invented for it.

Are men afraid of women to grow up to?

Today, many women have long been fully established in life, they are successful and have everything they need to support themselves. Some already have their own business up to thirty, drive an expensive car, not worrying about anything, enjoying every moment in life. As a result, the man begins to worry, to seem to himself in comparison with her an absolute loser and to feel the same way. It seems to him that this type of lady can laugh at him, eventually destroying the dignity of the guy morally.

d "> Are men afraid of strong and smart women?

Not always smart, strong, self-confident means happy, and men feel it. They begin to doubt themselves, they are afraid to be around. It seems that if he says something superfluous, not in vain, their relationship will end in collapse. That the beloved woman does not want to be around anymore and will back down.

If she is not afraid to defend her point of view, this is not bad, but quite the opposite. If you have real feelings, then there will be support. And even if you do a fool, do not worry, she will understand, otherwise, it is simply not destiny. Understand one thing, near a real man, any woman wants to seem like a weak kitty who needs to be supported, protected and given love.

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But you should not break yourself, try to re-educate, if someone is not ready to accept you as the real one and is constantly trying to avoid serious relationships. So, this is not your person, nothing happened, do not blame yourself. Leave a man who is constantly afraid, find your man and stay with him to the end, no matter what.

Have you, women, heard the phrase from a man: I am afraid of you?

Have you men ever said that?

Maybe not to say it out loud, but to feel fear in front of a woman, spasmodic your speech or movements ...

Love and fear

I'll tell you the story of a woman I've known for many years. Let's call her Anna. She broke up with a man whom she really liked. It would seem that parting is an unpleasant business, but it is quite common. The reasons for this are different: one of the couple meets another partner; falling in love, people begin to understand that nothing unites them, interests do not coincide.

In our case, the problem turned out to be somewhat unexpected. The woman admitted that her friend often repeated the phrase: I'm afraid of you. There was love, intimacy desired for both, chemistry coincided. We enjoyed spending time together, talking, traveling.

Over time, Anna began to notice that only she was the initiator of meetings, communication by phone and even SMS. A friend answers her invitations, but never calls first. To the question "why is this happening" he evasively answers - do not complicate. I began to observe and experiment. Indeed, if she invites to meet, he responds and they have a great time. If she doesn't call, nothing happens.

For the first time, the phrase "I'm afraid of you" Anna heard a week after the start of the relationship. Then there was an amendment: "more precisely, I'm afraid to lose you." It was a little strange, but it seemed like a manifestation of love and a desire to preserve, strengthen the relationship.

When he uttered this phrase a second time, it was not followed by a clarification about the fear of loss. This strained our heroine a little.

After the third time, she decided to talk seriously and find out what was going on. I did not receive a direct answer, my friend answered briefly and tried to get away from the conversation.

Then she decided to suspend the activity and stopped calling him. A week passed, then another. No news came from a loved one. Previously, they met 2-3 times a week, exchanged messages every day. Anna wondered: “How is this possible? Disappear for no reason, no explanation. "

Analysis of the cause of fear

Anna made guesses, put forward hypotheses about the possible. But I wanted to investigate where the phrase "I'm afraid of you" came from. I asked Anna about her previous relationships, starting from her youth, asked her to talk about her childhood and the relationship of her parents. I compared her story with similar situations of other clients and now I will try to describe the type of woman who is both attractive and frightening for a man.

These women are usually the initiators of any relationship. They are rarely attracted to men who show an interest in them. They themselves choose a victim. If they like a man, he has almost no chance of avoiding the relationship.

These women know how to seduce, entice into their networks, fall in love with themselves quickly enough. They are usually handsome and smart enough to do this with just about every man they choose. Rare fiasco or their complete absence adds to them charm and energy, with the help of which they conquer the victim.

Men with them become either henpecked and faithful husbands, or disappear without explanation if they manage to sneak away. Rarely do men understand what is really going on, which is why it is so difficult for them to explain.

I will save and save

And what happens is that a woman unconsciously, unwittingly, competes for leadership in a pair. Her mother, most often a teacher or manager, did the same thing. Created in the image of a woman "I will not stand it," she, imperceptibly for herself and uncomfortable for him, begins to crush her chosen one.

First he explains to him how many times to wash his ears and change socks, then how to tuck his shirts and cut his hair. She sincerely believes that she is doing all this out of good intentions and literally brings him back to life. If a man has bad habits, to which he, forgive the tautology, well, very used to it, she undertakes to retrain. She sees everything, you literally can't hide from her.

Not only heavy artillery is used, it can easily use tears and whims, but a clear verbal message is obtained best of all. Even if the expression is clothed in the form of a request, there is a subtext behind it: it is pointless to resist.

We will briefly mention that a man can have such behavior, but it was most likely also his mother who shaped him. Such heroes rarely find a match for themselves for many years. They sort out partners, try to bend them under their own idea of the world, then abandon those they have broken, and remain abandoned more flexible and aware.

When we discussed this with Anna, she remembered that her first love - a fifteen-year-old boy - avoided her, and many years later admitted: I was afraid of you.

I know the best

Such people do not give the other the right to be themselves. They don't accept flaws. Moreover, they often choose a partner for themselves, on whom there is a lot of work. It can be an alcoholic or a gambling addict; a person who, in their opinion, needs to improve themselves.

We must pay tribute - despite the shortcomings, the people with whom such rescuers fall in love, as a rule, are really bright personalities, and not some gray mice. Taming the meek is not interesting. They choose partners who stir up the blood, kindle the energy of passion in them. Without this passion, they do not feel alive.

They are really endowed with great potential and powerful energy, and it often happens that if the behavior of a partner does not meet expectations, such an energy surge falls on him that a person may even get sick.

If you recognize yourself or your partner in the described portrait,
draw conclusions as you see fit.

If you didn't know
just take it on board.

If you have to meet such a rescuer,
just explain to him that you are in a position to decide what is best for you.