How to tell your mom that she will become a grandmother. What's going on with mom. If a negative reaction is expected

09.05.2019

The worst thing that you could imagine happened. You are pregnant. And you're only 15! And you're still studying, and your friends are running to parties, dancing in clubs, and generally having a great time. And you...

And you, in horror, think: "I am 15 years old, and I am pregnant!" After all, really, how to tell mom?

Let's calm down and talk. No, it's too late to reproach you. Of course, you knew about the existence of means for preventing pregnancy. But for some reason I thought that all this had nothing to do with you. As you can see, it has, and the most immediate.

And now about the main thing. This will be a dialogue

Your line: "What if I'm pregnant?"

The author's reply: “The fact that a new life has arisen in your body makes you older than your peers. Outwardly, nothing has changed yet, but feel that you are not alone. That you have another life in you, and it has the right to last. - this is what the bulk of women come to this world for. And if it does not appear according to plan, this is not a catastrophe. Decide for yourself, already as an adult, that you have no right to kill an innocent creature. And, having made this decision, go to your mother. "

"Yes, but how can I tell my mom that I'm pregnant? She's just going to die!"

"Gather up the courage and say. Of course, at first you will have a hard time, but who else will understand you like your mother? She, having calmed down a little, will most likely also offer you to become a mother and promise to help. However, if you have someone else in your family something close to you in spirit, then enlist his support. If you come to your mother together, it will be easier to talk. "

"Mine and insists on abortion."

"This is the most common reaction of guys who have contacted a fifteen-year-old girl. Due to your age, you do not fit into his ideas about the future wife and mother, so the reaction is always the same. Do not regret such a guy. He immediately showed what he is good for. who will give up at a difficult moment. After all, you will no longer be able to trust him. Whoever betrayed him once, will betray him repeatedly. "

"But I still need to study!"

"Try to negotiate with the teachers about early graduation from school, if possible. And if not, then it's okay. You can, after giving birth, finish an evening school or college. And, if you wish, you can continue your education at a university. Many young mothers are just like this. and did. If you don’t have enough money, you can always find a part-time job. Even if it is unofficial. "

"How will I arrange my life afterwards?"

“You see, you are already asking adults, serious questions. And the first one:“ How can I tell my mother that I’m pregnant? ”Has receded into the past. Do not be afraid, the situation you are in has its positive sides. as your peers will roll strollers in the yard, you will already have a rather large child, and you will be able to devote more time to yourself. In addition, you already have invaluable experience in relationships with men!

At the present time, a single mother with a child does not scare anyone. And the presence of a child often even serves a man as a confirmation of your future ability to housekeeping - after all, you already know a lot! "

The main thing is in answering the question: "How can I tell my mother that I am pregnant?" - it is your decision to be a happy woman in the future. Everything is in your hands now! Good luck and faith in yourself!

It is finished! Several days of suspiciously new sensations, malaise and guesses ended with two stripes on the test. Whether this pregnancy was long-awaited, or fell like a bolt from the blue, in any case it will be a shock for any woman. And the relatives will experience even greater shock. This is where the hardest part begins. How to tell parents about pregnancy? What will be their reaction? Fear, panic and disbelief in what is happening are emotions that sometimes make it difficult to take the first step towards a conversation. But you need to do it anyway. How and when? Let's try to answer these questions and give valuable advice.

How to inform mom and dad about pregnancy?

Before puzzling over how to tell your parents that you are pregnant, you need to understand yourself. Age plays absolutely no role here. The main thing is to make a decision to be a child or not to be. Everyone knows perfectly well that abortion is a great sin. In addition, if the pregnancy is the first, there is a great risk subsequently not to have children at all. Therefore, the primary task is to decide for yourself how you yourself feel about your situation. Are you ready to become a mother? What will change with the advent of a child and are you ready to forever forget about some plans for life for the sake of the health of the unborn baby? Unfortunately, most often it happens that, due to his youth and his own stupidity, the child's dad very quickly disappears over the horizon, putting all the troubles on the shoulders of the expectant mother. And many girls are afraid of this very fact. How can you tell your family about pregnancy in this case? First of all, you need to draw up a clear plan of your actions, do not panic, but try to reasonably compare everything. No matter how long you delay the moment of the conversation, it will still take place. And in order to somehow relieve your head from heavy thoughts, listen to some advice:

To understand how to tell your parents about pregnancy, you must decide for yourself whether to keep the pregnancy or not. It is this fact that will play a decisive role in your conversation. Try to clearly describe to yourself how you will receive an education, raise a child, work, etc. Remember that the most difficult is the first two years of a baby's life. Then he goes to kindergarten, and most of the problems will be solved by themselves.
Remember that the first reaction to the news you give will be shock anyway. Don't rush your parents to conclusions and decisions. If you live with them, it will be a separate conversation, with finding out if they can feed you with your baby.
When considering how to tell your mom about pregnancy, don't be afraid. Only she can understand you as a woman. In whatever relationship you are, she will always support you and will be on your side. In the event that the relationship with the mother is not very good, it will be quite expected that she will send you to have an abortion. But the last decision will still be yours. In practice, it has been proven that as soon as a child is born, he becomes a universal favorite, and any quarrels subside by themselves.
Since informing your parents that you are pregnant is not an easy task, set yourself up for the fact that any shock associated with such news is caused, first of all, by the fact that they are worried about you and your future. No one will ever get closer to your parents. Therefore, it is better to listen to their advice, not to be stubborn and realize that they only want the best. Put yourself in their shoes and you will quickly see how they feel.
You need to choose the right moment for a conversation. It is best to say about your situation when peace and harmony reign in the family, and not after another scandal. Since it is a little easier to tell your mom about pregnancy than to both parents at once, try inviting her, for example, for a walk, or wait until the two of you are together. Say you have a serious conversation and ask you to listen. You need to speak calmly and confidently. Remember that before the conversation, you should already decide how you will live on. Be frank and honest, tell the whole truth and all the details. Please be patient as the conversation still cannot be avoided and the best way out is to behave with dignity.

Remember that your worries about telling mom and dad that you are pregnant negatively affect your baby's well-being. Your parents are not your enemies, and when deciding to talk with them, ask them to trust you. Let them know that you trust them completely. Then the conversation will turn out to be full and positive. If you are overwhelmed by the fear that your news will be received negatively, prepare arguments and vivid descriptions of what a beautiful and wonderful person your baby will grow up to be. Another indisputable plus will be the fact that your parents will see their great-grandchildren before others, and maybe the next generation. And most importantly, children change a person's life only for the better. Say thank you to fate for giving you such a great opportunity to become a mother. Children are not unplanned. They come at the time when they are supposed to come. Accept your position with joy and patience. And your parents will always support you and help you not to be afraid of anything.

How to tell parents about pregnancy? Many girls ask psychologists similar questions, wanting to listen to advice. After all, pregnancy is a very important and exciting topic that sooner or later comes in the life of every girl. If pregnancy is long-awaited and the parents also hoped for it for a long time and, of course, were ready for such news, then saying such news is not a difficult task at all, and even, on the contrary, a very pleasant and joyful moment, a holiday in the family. After all, when everyone expects a change, a new meaning appears in life, and the relationship that develops in a couple goes on as usual. It's wonderful and it's easy to tell your parents that you are pregnant. But the situation changes when the pregnancy is unplanned, the guy leaves the girl, or she is not married. A more difficult case is if the girl has not reached the age of majority and all her plans go awry due to pregnancy. Another case is if the parents do not want a child and are not ready for their daughter to become a mother, and the young woman, on the contrary, wanted to get pregnant. In each of these cases, there is a difficult situation that is not at all easy to solve. So, the topic of our article: "How to tell parents about pregnancy, advice from a psychologist."

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When the question arises: how to tell parents about pregnancy, the advice of a psychologist will be very useful. After all, girls most often expect detailed recommendations and step-by-step instructions from a psychologist, they hope that a specialist will solve all their problems with one wave of a magic wand and tell you the best way to act in this situation, and they, having heard the advice, will follow it. In fact, this is not so, and the psychologist first of all is a person who will help you figure it out, push you to make a decision. It is up to you to decide what to do in this situation.

Therefore, firstly, after learning about pregnancy, understand yourself. Find out how you feel about this, are you ready to become a mother, or are you more prone to abortion, are your partner and parents ready for your pregnancy, try to predict their reaction. Think about how you are going to proceed further, what will happen to your studies or work, who will take care of the child and whether you are ready to raise him. Analyze all aspects of your pregnancy, assess the situation and make a clear, measured plan of your actions, be sure of them. It is much better if you conduct a conversation with your parents, having already a clear plan of action and position, than when you panic in front of them or admit that you have no idea what awaits you. If you find it difficult to understand yourself, you can turn to a psychologist, or, if this is not possible, to an adult whom you trust very much.

If your pregnancy did not turn out to be unplanned for you, you and that partner are in good relations, each of you wants this child and is ready to raise him, as well as take care of the future family, but the parents are not ready for your pregnancy, a conversation with them will not be special labor. If you do not want to upset them, do not be mistaken yourself - this is your future and your choice, if you are ready for this and confident in your preference, they should support you. Or do you want to wait six to seven years for your family to mature for this step? Be guided by your choice, tell them about your plans and desires. They may simply doubt your ability to support your family, and also simply be unprepared for such changes. Explain the situation to them, point out the real facts that everything will be fine, and that changes will only go for the best, tell them about the advantages of the situation, your desires. Remember that your parents are not your enemies, they have lived their lives, understand you and always support you in difficult times.

But what if the pregnancy is unplanned? What if you weren't ready for this? As mentioned earlier, have a good understanding of your next steps and make a plan for them. If you decide to keep the pregnancy and raise the child on your own, be confident in your decision, plan how you will receive an education, who will look after the child. You can transfer to the correspondence form of study, and study at home - and also successfully graduate from the university. Parents will help you look after your child, teach him to educate, the main thing is your desire, self-control and common sense.

Do not be afraid to tell your parents about pregnancy, they are your best friends and closest people. No one will help you in a situation with a child as much as they do. Your news can be a shock to them for the reason that they are worried about you and your future, and they can also be frightened by the changes in your life, your future and the future of your child. Talk to them calmly, choose the right moment, conduct your speech confidently and constructively, understanding. Predicting their fears and reproaches, try to explain in advance the way out of difficult situations that await you, show them full understanding and respect. Be prepared for an ambiguous reaction, but try to understand your parents, put yourself in their place.

Listen carefully to their advice, try to have a conversation with them, solve all problems together, find the best way out of this situation. Remember that parents are your allies, not enemies, and you should not be afraid of them and their reactions, try to understand them and help them understand you. If you disagree with them on some issues, explain to them why you think so, what, in your opinion, will be better, and do not just rest on your opinion. Show determination, responsibility and courage, most importantly, always stay in harmony with yourself.

How to tell parents about your pregnancy, what are the main tips of a psychologist? The most important rule here is to be frank and honest with them. Do not invent any other reasons for the outcome of situations, why this happened, say everything as it is. If you are afraid of something, do not know some of the details, are unsure of some problems - do not be afraid to ask questions, as well as give answers to the most intimate ones. You must trust your parents and ask them for mutual trust. Show that you rely on them and that you are honest with them, that, above all, you respect their choice. The main thing is not to be afraid of anything and be sure of your decision, never lose hope for the best and remember that you can find a way out of any situation.

Pregnancy is a fertile time for every girl. A priori. This is not always true. The question of how to tell mom that she is pregnant arises mainly in young girls. When a girl lives with a permanent partner, but they are not scheduled, it doesn’t matter. Worse if the girl just "flew".

Many factors influence decision making:

Age category. The younger the girl, the worse her situation. At 13-14 you need to study, not give birth. Therefore, in this case, there is only one way out - abortion or regulation.
Social status. This takes into account the position of a pregnant girl in society: profession, the presence of a permanent partner.
Financial opportunities. Will the expectant mother be able to raise the baby? Can a girl or couple afford to have a baby?

In any case, it is simply necessary for mom to tell. She will help you make the right decision.

How can I tell my mom? Simply, three words are enough: "Mom, I'm pregnant."

The girl must realize her pregnancy. Decide for herself what she wants: give birth to a child or terminate the pregnancy. In addition, it is necessary to take into account the financial possibilities: how will the mother support her child, how will she raise him. Everyone needs to think about this in advance. Upon learning of an unexpected pregnancy, parents are literally bombarded with questions about the near future. Calm and sound reasoning will help calm them down and restore judgment.
It is also necessary to think about what awaits the expectant mother in our not quite mature society. Questions such as "What will people say about you?" or “Who will marry you?” will undoubtedly sound during a conversation with parents. Well, in a way they are right. Our society, indeed, has not yet been ill with old prejudices. In modern European society, women who bring up children alone are not considered flawed or somehow insufficient. Many of them initially decide to give birth for themselves.
You need to think about your future. How to continue your studies in order to find a good job later? Will the child have enough strength to study? Will the parents agree to help?
You need to speak calmly. Mutual attacks will lead nowhere, except that they will kindle a fire of discord in the family.
First, you need to tell the family member you trust the most. It's usually mom.
It must be remembered that your parents are not your enemies. They raised you, put you on your feet and will always support you.

Pregnancy is not a step into adulthood and is not a reason to take away adolescence and youth. One miss can cost a lifetime. Having a child will not make a woman out of a girl. A girl should grow up with her mind, not her body. In the modern world, acceleration is obvious. Therefore, girls mature early. At thirteen or fourteen years old, they look like young women, but they remain childish. Therefore, before engaging in sexual relations with your partner (if you can call that a teenage boy), you need to think about the consequences and the forthcoming conversation with parents in that case, and not hope "at random."

One way or another, but in any case, it is necessary to notify parents about your pregnancy. And then it is already together to decide whether you can raise a child.

And what about the father?

Many boys, upon hearing that they will become fathers, simply panic and immediately predict an abortion. The licentiousness of the morals of modern youth does not prohibit guys from simply abandoning a child, accusing the girl of indecent behavior.

It is not uncommon that the boy still agrees to help the expectant mother, recognizing the child as his own. One way or another, but you, together with his parents and yours, must decide what to do next. In addition, in this case, time plays against you, so the sooner you tell your parents about what happened, the better.

In a young family

When you are married and you are doing well, it is much easier to communicate the good news. A young family by itself presupposes the appearance of offspring soon, so it is pleasant to report on the conception of a baby. What is the best way to do this? It is enough to buy a cake and invite relatives for lunch or dinner and tell them that the family is expected to be replenished. Undoubtedly, everyone will be only happy, and grandparents will look forward to their grandson or granddaughter to babysit him or her for hours on end.

In any case, pregnancy is a responsibility that needs to be carried through most of your life. Therefore, it is simply necessary to notify the parents. They have already gone through this and can help not only with advice, but also with deeds. It should be remembered that the conversation must be conducted in a calm and balanced state, not paying attention to offensive words and bitter promises of the near future. Remember that your parents are your friends.

Pregnancy is considered a joyous event in the life of every woman and girl. However, being embarrassed can also be detrimental to girls who are not ready for adulthood. Serious conversation with parents is considered the result of an unplanned pregnancy. A father and mother are worried about the well-being and health of their child, so they cannot always respond adequately. To present the news correctly, you need to have psychological techniques and clearly follow the plan.

Step # 1. Understand your thoughts

At the initial stage, it is important to immediately determine whether you are ready to become a mother. It is worth remembering forever that a lot of tests await you ahead. You may have to combine the upbringing of the baby with work and study, not counting on outside help.

You will forever lose your carefree youth, since the responsibility for a small life will fall on your shoulders. Parental everyday life is very difficult to survive, especially at the initial stage.

A child up to six months will be constantly capricious, it will start to hurt, you can simply get confused. Having a baby is not an exam at school or college. This step is very serious and responsible, it is important to prepare mentally for it.

As you sort out your own thoughts and decide whether or not to leave the child, think about the possible consequences of an abortion. To date, vacuum and medical abortion are considered the safest.

Step # 2. Prepare to talk to your parents

After making a decision (whatever it may be), you need to prepare to talk with your mother and father. Review past serious conversations in your head, remember the reaction of your ancestors. What was she like when you broke the shocking news?

Did your parents support you or shouted your urine? Was their reaction calm, wise? Build from previous events. Play the conversation over and over in your head until your speech looks perfect.

Think in advance about the answers to possible questions of the ancestors. They will start wondering who the father of the child is, how you plan to graduate from college / college with a baby in your arms, what means you will live on, etc.

Step # 3. Make a plan of action

You cannot present pregnancy as a Christmas present if you understand that it is not. You must have a concrete plan that takes into account everything to the smallest detail. If you decide to leave your child, sit down and think about how you will graduate from an educational institution, where you will go to work, where you will live, etc.

Parents need to know that their daughter is ready for such a step, otherwise everything will end in a scandal. Set yourself up for an adult conversation, don't show helplessness, don't say "I don't know what to do."

Step # 4. Find the right time to talk

After you have developed a plan and found answers to possible questions, proceed to moment "X". Find the right time when both parents are in a good mood. Yes, you may overwhelm them, but there is no getting away from it.

If you notice that the ancestors are quarreling or not talking to each other, postpone the dialogue for another time. The same goes for the moments when the parents come home from work irritated and tired, do not aggravate the situation.

The right moment is the key to a successful conversation. The most suitable option is a family dinner, where everyone is in a great mood.

Step # 5. Start a conversation

While drawing up the plan, you probably ran the dialogue in your head 10-20 times. The main thing is that the beginning of the conversation should be laid, then everything will go much easier. For example, tell your parents that you are going to tell them important news. Then add “I'm pregnant!” Then shut up.

There is no need to chatter incessantly, the mother and father must digest the information received. Yes, she shocks them, wait a while. When your parents are ready to talk, start slowly explaining your decision, plans for the future, possible nuances. Answer the questions clearly, do not mumble, present yourself as a serious person.

Step 6. Keep calm

It is important to understand that no matter how gently you present an unexpected pregnancy, the parents will be in a state of shock for a long time. Do not be rude to them, do not raise your voice, do not be sarcastic, do not shy away from answers. Express your thoughts calmly, defend your own decision when necessary.

Learn to listen, don't interrupt. As practice shows, the mother is the first to react. Listen to her arguments, discuss the pros and cons together. Let them know that you will be glad if your ancestors provide support.

Mom went to her room, shut the door and cry? Is your father sitting at the table, frowning? Calm them down, ask them to talk to you. Let the ancestors know that you are aware of the seriousness of the situation, but you do not want to act differently.

Step 7. Express your feelings

If there are worries and fears, do not forget to mention them: “Mom, what would you do in such a situation? What will my friends say? " Do not keep emotions in yourself, while there is time it is necessary to deal with everything thoroughly.

If you decide to leave the child, inform your ancestors about the upcoming ultrasound. In cases where it has already been passed, show them an ultrasound scan and tell them that the grandson will appear in December / January (for example).

How to inform parents about pregnancy: original ways

The options presented are suitable for those girls who have already crossed the threshold of 20+ and are ready to take responsibility for a small life. At this age, parents can be shocked, but most likely they will not insist on abortion.

Method number 1. Shopping trip together
If you live apart from your ancestors, call your mom, invite her to go shopping for the weekend. Choose in advance a shopping center with boutiques for pregnant women.

Upon arrival at the shopping center, go to the selected stores, pulling your mother by the hand. Browse dresses, sundresses, jeans for ladies in position.

Consult your mom, ask her opinion on this or that wardrobe item. At the same time, observe the reaction. When she understands everything and asks the long-awaited question, answer with a slight smile: "Yes, I'm pregnant!"

Method number 2. Family snapshot
This option is more suitable for girls whose parents have long wanted to have grandchildren. Use the news as a surprise at a family dinner. Gather all family and friends (optional), arrange a meal, communicate, have fun. At the end of the evening, ask everyone to stand next to you, the parents should be in the center.

You will be taking pictures, so get ready instead of the usual "Chiyeez!" or "We smile and wave!" say "I'm pregnant!" After a few seconds, press the camera button.

The reaction will be sincere, all faces will be captured in the pictures. If you wish, take a few photos, later you can laugh, looking at the surprised face of each guest.

Method number 3. Album with photos
Buy an album for photos, print pictures. All images will do: it can be photos from family holidays, birthdays, vacations, buying an apartment, etc. Try to print so many photos that you fill the album completely (about 25 pieces). Attach the ultrasound result to the center. After you hand over the present, watch the reaction. On the ultrasound picture, you can sign "I will be in 6 months!" (it all depends on the term).

Method number 4. New Year's gift

If the news that you are pregnant has become a joyful event, take advantage of any holiday. In order to inform parents, the upcoming New Year will be the ideal option.

Buy gifts, pack them beautifully, write on postcards: "Mom, you will soon become a grandmother!" or "Dad, you will become a grandfather in July!" Or you can write “I'm pregnant!”, Proceed from personal considerations.

Matryoshka dolls can be used as a gift (about 6 pieces). Take a small leaf, write your news on it, place it in a cavity of a smaller matryoshka. Wrap the present with gift paper, place it under the tree, or hand it over personally.

Method number 5. Chocolate egg
In order to surprise your family and inform them of your pregnancy, you will need to buy one or two Kinder Surprise eggs. Print out the sweet present, try not to damage the packaging. Take a sharp knife with a thin blade, first heat it over a gas burner, and then dip it in boiling water.

Take out the "yolk" (plastic container inside), roll the ultrasound scan and put the yellow box back. To glue the chocolate halves, you need to heat them along the contour with a hot knife, then quickly press down. Once the chocolate has caked, wrap it in foil.

It is quite difficult for young girls to inform their parents about pregnancy, and this is not surprising. For a father and mother, the daughter will forever remain a little girl who must be protected. Prepare yourself mentally for the conversation, think over the answers to possible questions, find the right moment. Start talking calmly, listen to the position of your ancestors, defend your decision.