The men are Swedes. Phlegmatic and hardworking descendants of the Vikings or the peculiarities of the national character of the Swedes

The Kingdom of Sweden, located among the snow-capped peaks of the Scandinavian mountains, is now considered one of the most comfortable states for living in the world. Despite the harsh climate, the descendants managed to make their country rich, prosperous and attractive to tourists from all over the world. And many travelers visiting the Scandinavian Peninsula strive not only to ski from the slopes of the mountains, to look at the harsh beauty of mountain rivers and lakes and to walk the streets of beautiful Swedish cities, but also to solve the riddle of the Swedish soul and understand what natures are hidden behind the masks of restraint and the silence that modern descendants of the Vikings love to wear.

National characteristics of the character of the Swedes

Residents of the CIS countries, as well as the states of Central, Western and Southern Europe, the Swedes seem too withdrawn, taciturn and emotionally cold people. This first impression of the Swedes arises from the fact that descendants of the Vikings do not show their emotions in public, talk very little about themselves and rarely maintain friendly relationships with robot colleagues and housemates. In Swedish villages and small towns, there is not that special sociability between people, which is inherent in the Russian, Italian or even French provinces. If in our villages people know literally everything about each other and easily visit neighbors with or without reason, then in Sweden there is no such thing - every inhabitant of even a very small village lives separately from others and when meeting with neighbors is limited to greeting.

This isolation and silence of the descendants of the Vikings is explained quite simply - according to the research of psychologists, the main national feature of the Swedes is their introversion ... If among the representatives of most other nations the number of extroverts and introverts is approximately the same, then the overwhelming majority of indigenous Swedes are pronounced introverts - calm people focused on their inner experiences and appreciating comfortable loneliness. Another, no less important national feature of the Swedish psychology is the fact that more than half of the inhabitants of Sweden - phlegmatic.

However, introversion and calm phlegmatic character do not make the Swedes inert and limited people, but on the contrary - they are the basis of the firm and calm "Nordic" character of the descendants of the Vikings. And the following national character traits of the Swedes complement this basis:

Psychology of Swedes in personal life

Swedes are reserved, calm and benevolent people who value order and comfortable solitude, however they like to receive guests and learn new things. For example, Swedes are very happy to meet foreigners , and will gladly welcome guests from other countries in their home, and when communicating with them, the descendants of the Vikings can unexpectedly take off the mask of silence and tell a lot of interesting things about themselves and their lives.

In addition to work, Swedes have two more passions - nature and sports , and most Swedish citizens care about the nature of their country and lead a sporty lifestyle from childhood to old age. Swimming, tennis, artistic gymnastics, skiing and cycling are favorite sports of the Swedes, which are enjoyed by women and men alike. And such a craze for sports is bearing fruit - it is almost impossible to see women on the streets of Swedish cities, and the average life expectancy in Sweden is more than 80 years.

The houses and apartments of the Swedes are cozy and furnished with high-quality furniture and high-quality appliances, and there is nothing superfluous and useless in the interior. It is in the houses of Swedish citizens that the rationalism of this nation is manifested as much as possible - all furnishing elements are distinguished by simplicity, functionality and convenience, and not a single room has things that just take up space without being of any use. The Russian "tradition" of putting unnecessary things in the closet or on the mezzanine will seem incomprehensible to the Swedes, because the descendants of the Vikings are accustomed to immediately throwing away everything that is of no practical benefit, and not accumulating rubbish.

Personal relationships between a man and a woman in Sweden are based on the principles of democracy and equality - all decisions in a couple are made jointly, Swedish men do not consider it necessary to always pay for their woman if she works, and Swedish women do not take on all responsibilities at home and childcare. A spouse in Sweden is, first of all, equal partners who have common interests, divide all responsibilities in half and support each other, while not completely dissolving in a partner. However, despite the penchant for building partnerships, Swedes are not alien to jealousy - the majority of Swedish men and women consider adultery in marriage unacceptable.

Let me present you with a generalized portrait of a Swedish man, drawn with a somewhat ironic tinge. The article is the result of summarizing my own impressions of communicating with the Swedes, reading literature and watching Swedish television programs.

How Swedish men see themselves

It is believed that typical Swedish men are tall, blue-eyed blondes. In winter, everyone wears knitted hats. By nature, they are serious, shy, independent, constantly preoccupied with how others perceive them.

Obsessed with their habits. Thus, they can get up at 5.30 am to read the morning papers, although their work starts at 8 o'clock. Does this mean that Swedes read slowly? The most amazing thing is that my husband has almost all of the above qualities, however, he is not blond, and he really reads the morning newspaper slowly.

I must say that the statement about the tallness of the Swedes is not entirely true. So, among the male population of our town of Kalix, tall blondes are not found more often than, for example, in Vilnius. The overwhelming majority of local Swedes are people of average height.

What is typical for Swedish men

- In addition to self-concern, Swedish men are interested in: money, their work, their home, hockey and their family (priorities are lined up in this sequence).

- They love dogs and are ready to devote their free time to long walks with them. I confirm that this statement is largely consistent with my personal experience.

- Swedish men carefully monitor their oral health. This is probably due to the financial factor. Dental prosthetics in Sweden are very, very expensive. Here, in the north of Sweden, SPA tours to the city of Pärnu, Estonia have become very popular, where the Swedes are prosthetic teeth during their holidays.

- Swedish men are punctual, honest, reliable, respecting the law. The last statement is most clearly manifested, for example, at the transition. A Swede would rather stand patiently and get wet in the rain, but he would not cross an empty street at a red light.

- They always use a seat belt. But the assertion that Swedish men will never drive drunk, unfortunately, is refuted by the more frequent press reports about the disappointing results of police checks on the roads.

- Swedish men do not make spontaneous decisions. So they will take the question of choosing a type of cheese as seriously as the question of buying a house.

- Many Swedish men lead an active lifestyle, jogging in summer and skiing in winter. And indeed it is.

- Taking care of their health, they give up smoking and an evening cup of coffee, trying to be in bed no later than 10 pm. They strive to reduce their sugar intake, choose low-fat foods.

- The habits of Swedish men are often standard when it comes to buying furniture and clothing, most of them prefer Volvo cars and vacations in Mallorca.

- Swedish men do not like to admit the presence of prejudices. Welcoming the appearance of foreigners in the country and claiming that they differ little from the Swedes, they can nevertheless tell each other that foreigners beat their wives, grow vegetables on balconies, and constantly carry knives. The statement is rather contradictory. I myself have never heard such conversations. By the way, according to press reports, the Swedes themselves do not shy away from raising a hand against their wives.

- Swedish men wait patiently in lines, speak quietly, visit liquor stores (Systembolaget) on Fridays, prefer to celebrate Christmas with their parents.

How Swedish men view marriage

- The Swedes are in no hurry to legally formalize their marriages. More often than not, they prefer to simply live with a woman (sambo) for many years. And such living does not always end with an official marriage.

- Swedish men, not without reason, believe that they do all the housework: cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the apartment better than their wives. They sew buttons to shirts themselves and mend socks. An exception is breastfeeding of newborns.

- Swedish men, and women alike, have an exaggerated sense of equality: everyone should be and act like everyone else. They defend this right actively and constantly. To be honest, sometimes such a “struggle at the everyday level” begins to look comical.

The Swedish tax system "pours water on the mill" of a sense of equality: taxes significantly reduce the difference in real incomes of Swedes, the high-paid pay significantly higher taxes than the low-paid.

Hopefully the reader will not get the wrong opinion of Swedish men after reading this article. I ask you to treat what you read with humor, because the overwhelming majority of Swedish men are wonderful husbands, wonderful, caring fathers.

The social life of the country has undergone significant changes over the past decades. The role of men in the family is changing.

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What do we know about Sweden? Someone thinks of a story about a funny fat man with a motor behind his back, who became known to the whole world thanks to the efforts of the Swedish writer Astrid Lintgren. And the more modern and down-to-earth, when Sweden is mentioned, they recall Ikea and Hasselblad, Volvo and Saab, as well as the famous Abba quartet.

And for many of our compatriots, Sweden is a dream country, a country that is able to solve all life's problems, moreover, easily and naturally. Of course, many believe that the standard of living in Sweden is almost the highest in Europe, despite the fact that this country is practically not a part of the EU. This means that the Swedes have something to lose, and therefore have something to offer new citizens - a Swedish leisurely regularity and a quiet, well-fed life in one of the quietest and cleanest corners of the planet.

Is Swedish life so wonderful? Is the future of those who marry the citizens of this country so cloudless? Let's try to describe everything as it is, without cuts.

Mentality and lifestyle

To say that Swedes are paradoxical as a nation is to say nothing. Judge for yourself: in a country that is the main European supplier of iron ore (about 2% of world production), in a country that produces world-class automobiles and heavy equipment, the majority of the population has a panic about the exact sciences. Yes, yes, no more and no less.

Swedes for the most part are terrible homebodies and owners: the average inhabitant of this northern kingdom has a very difficult time getting along with people. At the same time, a huge number of public associations successfully exist in Sweden, which unite people according to various interests, problems and even diseases. Yes, the presence of this or that chronic disease makes the Swede look for the same as himself. Often, such a desire is not justified by anything, neither benefits, nor moral problems. People just get together and communicate, and this communication is not always associated with problems or interests that unite them.

In addition, only in Sweden there is one strange custom: people who are officially married can live separately, meeting sometimes once a week, and often once a month. At the same time, they can remain faithful and even love each other with a special, Swedish, love. There is also another extreme - often and densely people live together, not bothering to officially register relations, and they live for decades, give birth to children, die, and never enter into an official union.

Dyslexics, people with impaired reading and writing functions, make up, according to various estimates, from 4 to 8% of the Swedish population. Dyslexics include the entire Swedish royal family and many political and public figures.

Since for the average Swede, communication with technology and technology is associated with experiences and a breakdown of their own consciousness, the percentage of disabled people who are disabled as a result of stress is strikingly high - about 5% of the total population of the country. Only thanks to a well-established social system can these people lead a normal life.

Another myth that begs to be debunked is Swedish tolerance towards foreigners. Of course, there is no obvious discrimination here, and there is no infringement of the rights of first-generation immigrants either. But it is impossible for a foreigner to take a managerial position in a Swedish company, under no circumstances and never, no matter how high his professional and personal qualities are. The only exceptions are the closest neighbors - the Dutch and Norwegians, whose culture is very similar to the Swedish culture and customs.

Attitude towards Russians

The attitude towards immigrants from Eastern Europe is ambiguous. Most Swedes treat "ours" with tolerance, but no visible respect, as, for example, the Finns, Dutch or Americans. Suspicion and vigilance are manifested in communication, in the willingness to take on responsible positions, in the desire to communicate in a neighborly manner. And, of course, when applying for a job. All other things being equal, a native of Western Europe or North America will be chosen among several applicants, and only then a Russian, Pole or African.

For the sake of fairness, we note that certain discrimination in hiring exists not only in relation to foreigners, but also to people over 40, to single women with small children, to young people without confirmed work experience.

Income

Working in Sweden officially, you can, in principle, exist quite comfortably. This by no means means that there are no small salaries in Sweden. Ancillary workers, service workers and agricultural workers receive fairly modest wages.

However, there is a highly developed production of high-quality inexpensive things, food, as well as the construction of cheap housing. And the state actively participates in the life of the socially weak strata, subsidizing them and providing all kinds of benefits. Such care is paid, of course, out of the pocket of a conscientious taxpayer. Accordingly, the level of taxation in Sweden is very high - up to 60%.

The salary of an average Swedish engineer is about US $ 5,000. This, of course, does not mean that the average Swedish engineer is spoiled for life and luxurious. Most of the salary, rather big by our standards, is eaten up by taxes, the rest is spent on expenses and contributions to pension funds.

Sweden is not a country of lawyers. A lawyer here is as much an employee or an entrepreneur as a bank clerk or an engineer. The same cannot be said about specialists in the field of exact sciences, electronics engineers, builders, who really earn a lot, especially if they have high qualifications and long work experience.

Expenses

The middle class in Sweden prefers not to buy too cheap goods, caring about their image and social status. A good car, fairly expensive clothes, a large, beautiful house - this is the minimum that an average Swede owns - a representative of the middle class.

Housing is generally being built here on a grand scale. Swedes often associate space with comfort. And since large areas require more heating, and Sweden is still a northern country, quite serious funds are spent on heating homes. However, various innovative technologies are in use here, which are economical and convenient, which also greatly reduce heating costs.

Eating in a restaurant is not considered a luxury in Sweden. The catering system is therefore incredibly developed. Cafes, cafeterias, restaurants and restaurants - there are a lot of them in any Swedish city, and in most of them you can eat quite home-style, but not at all cheap.

Of course, not only middle class people live in Sweden, although due to high taxes they are in the majority in the country. There are still poor and socially weak strata. They are not very visible on the street, because social services work, like everything else in this country, as a perfectly well-established mechanism. Recently, however, the number of unemployed, and therefore poor, has become more and more, this, in addition to internal factors, was also facilitated by the economic crisis.

Poor Swedes, of course, cannot afford spacious private houses and middle-class cars. But this does not mean that they cannot afford to buy housing and a car in general. They also have the blessings of life, but in a lower class - not very spacious apartments, mostly rented, and inexpensive cars, mostly small cars.

Only the weakest strata of Swedish society are deprived of their property and cannot afford "pickles" - most of them are emigrants, as well as people suffering from drug addiction and alcoholism.

The rich and very rich people in Sweden can be counted on one hand. High taxes are doing their job, and there are very few oligarchs here. And those that do exist live practically the same as the representatives of the middle class, without any excesses. It is almost impossible to distinguish such a person on the street, except by a car of a prestigious model or by a very expensive watch.

Recreation

Swedes rest mainly with families, and mostly at home or in neighboring Scandinavian countries. Young people, however, actively travel the world, preferring exotic countries. Older people choose Europe, calm, quiet resorts, or combine trips with visits to museums and various ancient monuments.

Swedish retirees travel on a grand scale. Solid retirement savings allow them to live no worse than working people, and the availability of free time encourages cruises, long trips to the Old and New Worlds.

Working people and those whose income does not allow them to go on vacation find an opportunity to relax at home. Numerous resort areas right within the city limits, parks and forest parks provide such an opportunity. In addition, in any Swedish city there are many swimming pools, solariums, where relaxation is available to everyone and is not interrupted for the winter.

Eating and drinking is not well accepted. This, of course, does not in any way mean that Swedes do not like to drink. But among the huge number of opportunities for recreation and relaxation, alcohol looks more than pale, and most of the country's population prefers to stay sober.

Family and Children

The Swedish family is something in between in all respects. The Swedes are not the most strict educators, but they are not the most indifferent to the behavior of children.

The Swedish school provides a fairly high level of education, which, nevertheless, is significantly inferior to Swiss, British, and often American education. In small towns there is a shortage of teachers in schools, and in large cities there is an overcrowded classroom. Hence, some of the problems faced by young Swedes when entering universities, and the growth of juvenile delinquency, which is noted by many independent experts. However, the growth in crime by 0.03% per year is already plunging Swedish society into shock, so you need to draw conclusions carefully.

Recently, family values ​​have come into vogue. More and more young people prefer old-fashioned wedding ceremonies with weddings and feasts in banquet halls of churches. The concept of "Swedish family", meaning the life of several partners together, is virtually absent here.

Puritanism is generally very characteristic of the Swedes. Often the husband and wife even sleep separately, sometimes in separate rooms, and the sex education of children is assigned to school.

Children from Slavic countries experience serious language difficulties. It would seem that languages ​​are easy for children, because the child's psyche is predisposed to knowledge, and the child's brain, like a sponge, absorbs everything new. But Swedish is so unusual that a child often becomes stumped, especially in the first months of learning. In addition, the Swedish school often does not have special opportunities for teaching children the basics of the language - for this, teachers and teaching hours are not allocated. Therefore, it is worth considering carefully whether it will be possible to pay a private tutor for an in-depth and accelerated training of your child in Swedish.

Swedish language

Here is a stumbling block and a problem for many former compatriots. It is especially the Slavs who find it extremely difficult to learn the Swedish language. This is explained by the tangible difference in the structure of sentences and the associated confusion: in order to master Swedish, you first need to learn to think in this language. And, of course, make a lot of effort. However, only people who are very capable of foreign languages ​​can learn to speak Swedish without an accent. The average resident of the country recognizes you as an immigrant as soon as you say a few words.

In case of divorce

Divorces are rare in Sweden. Both current trends and the efforts of public institutions in this direction are affecting. And legislation in the event of a divorce is sacredly on the side of both former spouses. Whether the court decides to leave a joint child with you or an ex-husband is an interesting question. Most likely, the decision will be made in favor of who the child chooses.

It is almost impossible to take out a son or daughter without the consent of the former spouse. Sweden is not a member of the European Union, therefore border control here is unshakable along the entire perimeter, and the Swedish border guards quite seriously check the documents of those leaving the country. Therefore, if the relationship with your husband becomes too tense, you should not rush to divorce without thinking about the possible export of the child.

conclusions

Swedes are rather reserved people. In addition, many of them are disabled and will soon become disabled as a result of the stress they experience at work;

The Swedish family, like sexual freedom in Swedish society, is nothing more than a myth, in fact, everything is exactly the opposite - the average Swede is shy and constrained;

Since Swedes are pathologically afraid of the exact sciences, if you have one of the demanded specialties, you have an undoubted advantage when applying for a job. At the same time, forget to think about taking a manager's chair even in the distant future;

Swedish schooling is not the best in Europe, but rather average in all respects;

Taking the child out in the event of a divorce without the consent of the biological father is an almost impossible task.

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Many Russian women dream of meeting and marrying a Swede. men from Sweden are worthy candidates for husbands. Swedish men tend to be shy, reticent, sentimental, and reliable - in short, this is the man who can be the perfect husband and father. It should also be noted such positive qualities of the Swedes as punctuality, restraint in communication, hard work and love of order.

Usually in a Swedish family, household chores are divided equally. So, if, after marrying a Swede and leaving for Sweden, you want to study or build a career there, you will have such an opportunity.

A large number of Swedish men are registered on international dating sites. they are looking for a mate abroad (in particular in Russia). This is due to the fact that Swedes often scare them away with their independence and career orientation.

About Sweden

Sweden is a state in Northern Europe located on the Scandinavian Peninsula. Sweden is a member of the UN, the European Union and a member of the Schengen Agreement. In terms of area, Sweden ranks third among Western European countries and fifth among countries throughout Europe. The population is about 8.9 million. Forests, located on almost half of its territory, are a great asset of the country.

If you decide to meet a Swede or are already marrying a Swede, we hope that a short essay about the men of this country will help you make your choice! The dating site with Swedes "I will meet.com" will tell you about life and the concept of "family" in this country.
Here's what we know about the Swedes: Astrid Lingren and Karlson, “ABBU”, Karl XII and the Battle of Poltava, the Nobel Prize, Swedish socialism, the “Swedish” family, saw the film “Vikings” in childhood, several Ingmar Bergman films at a conscious age, knew about the Neva battle with the Swedes of Alexander Nevsky in 1240, that Descartes died here (the Swedish princess Christina appointed him time for philosophy classes at 6 am, he, unaccustomed to the local climate and such a regime, caught a cold and died), that there was such a mystic Emmanuel Swedenborg.
The Swedes have the second highest life expectancy in the world after the Japanese. In a recent UN study of maternity in 117 countries on several parameters (level of health care, education of mothers, etc.) Sweden took first place! Given that the population of Sweden is five times less than in the same England.
The Swedes have no reference to “you”. Only to the king and queen. The younger student addresses the teacher by name and “you”. Children of their parents are also often called by name. Until the 70s it was like ours, but the student revolution of 68 completely democratized communication. Consider this if you came to a dating site with Swedes.
The vast majority of Swedes know English. On the street, you can safely address people in English. This is a big plus and will help you get to know the Swede!
A significant part of Stockholm residents, apparently much more than half, do not live in panel high-rise buildings, but in private mansions with small plots. Such a mansion costs about 1-3 million kroons. With a salary of 20,000 kroons per month for one or two people, such a mansion can easily be bought in installments for fifteen to twenty years. But then more than half of the family budget will be spent on these payments. It is extremely difficult for those who start from scratch to buy such a mansion. When you find yourself in the area of ​​such mansions, it is striking that there are no fences or they are purely decorative. In many areas there are huge flagpoles and the state flags of Sweden hang on them. On the plots, people plant unusual trees, plants and flowers, mow lawns, and sometimes put up sculptures.
On a per capita basis, it appears that Sweden spends more on schooling than any other country in the world. The Swedish pursuit of knowledge and learning is truly limitless. It cannot be satisfied with only a school education and a university diploma. People in droves attend all kinds of courses in which they study the most incredible sciences. There are courses on the art of carving meat or courses on acquiring sleep learning skills. As for immigrants, they are even paid a small stipend in the Swedish language courses.
Especially important information if you have already decided to marry a Swede and have a family will be the fact that Sweden has a developed system of social benefits, which provides various rights and opportunities for the birth of a child. Secondary and higher education in the country is free, students receive a scholarship. Trade unions play an important role in domestic politics in Sweden, defending rights and allowing their members to use various preferential opportunities. In addition, statistics show that the average person in Sweden has 47 square meters of housing, which is one of the highest rates in the world. According to Swedish law, postnatal leave lasts 12 months and is paid at the rate of 80 percent of the last salary. For an additional three months, the young mother receives a meager allowance of about $ 7-8 per day (but, of course, in kroons). Since, as a rule, both spouses work in Sweden, they decide who will stay at home and take care of the newborn child. As a result, Swedish men are very good at feeding babies, dexterous diaper changing and swaddling. If the mother is caring for the baby, and she considers it possible to go to work earlier, before the expiry of the parental leave, then the right to use the remainder of the leave remains with her until the son or daughter reaches eight years of age.
Swedish family
- this is not what you thought ... Most men and women in Sweden live in unregistered marriages, these are the so-called "sambu". (Literal translation - "living together"). Why? Firstly, the rights and obligations of the "sambu" are exactly the same as those of a legitimate husband and wife. Secondly, an official divorce (its procedure) is quite expensive and is delayed, as a rule, for a long time, if the family has joint children. And so - no problem! The matter is resolved quickly and without nerve costs.
There are several types of relationships here. The most common is sambo. It is similar to a civil marriage in Russia, but only the relationship is registered in the administration (commune), while in the event of a divorce, the property is not divided, if an agreement has not been concluded, there is also another type of relationship, I don’t remember the exact name, but the pronunciation is similar to Sambo , the only difference is that the husband lives at home, and the wife lives at home. There is also a relationship when people meet for sex - this is normal here, and a woman can introduce her man to her acquaintances - this is my sex friend.
When you marry a Swede, you should know that a woman in Sweden is socially protected, and this gives her the opportunity to choose a life partner more than once, and without prejudice (as the Swedes themselves think) for the children. The question of who to live with, with dad or mom, is decided by the children themselves. And most often they live, for example, two weeks with dad and two weeks with mom, or with mom, but on Saturday and Sunday they visit dad. Or vice versa. The issue is resolved individually in each family, and with mutual consent, an optimal option is found that is convenient for everyone.
Dad and mom rent separate apartments based on the number of children, i.e. so that each child has his own room. It can be a two, three, four, five-room apartment, preferably in the same area - for the convenience of communication. Rented apartments are state property. Almost no one has their own (cooperative or purchased from the state) apartment.
None of the Swedish women know such a thing as “proof of the paternity of a child”. All dads pay alimony regularly. If a woman from another country married a Swede and the relationship is close to divorce, she can easily turn to a special commission with a question about alimony for her child, whose representative writes a letter to another country to the child's own father and asks in a mild form: “Do you have the ability to pay child support for your child currently living in Sweden? If not, then Sweden takes on this responsibility. " And if the daddy’s place of residence is unknown, the issue is resolved even faster and all with the same result. It's that simple! Benefit for a child under 18, plus alimony, plus a discount on apartment rent (if the income for each family member does not meet the standard) - you can live!
“When I first met a Swedish woman who has four children and all have different dads, I was shocked,” says our representative in Sweden. It turned out that this phenomenon is quite common and does not cause any negative emotions in others.
“Our neighbor solved the problem of family change quickly and easily. He took a pillow and a blanket and went to a neighbor's house, where he still lives. This did not cause any particular comment. Former and current wives or samba meet on joint family holidays. Everyone is happy and happy! " Or does it just seem so?
Distribution of responsibilities in the family
Swedish culture as such is generally a family one. Getting to know a Swede means meeting a man to start a family. For calm, withdrawn Swedes, the first place is the house, which they love to decorate. Their calmness may seem like indifference and even coldness. "Calm, only calm!" - As Carlson said. By the way, this hero Astrid Lindgren is not particularly revered in the country - a mischievous, adventurer, uncollected. But as a national heroine, Pippi Longstocking is extolled - a hard worker, helping her dad. You probably already understand what I'm getting at.
Well, who is in charge of the household: washing, preparing food, etc.? All household chores are democratically divided between husband and wife. But a more typical picture of family life is as follows: a man prepares food, and a woman repairs cars. The process of washing dishes is facilitated to the limit and does not require effort and time, it is enough to press the button of the dishwasher, and they, machines, are available in almost all homes. The automatic washing machine also does its job, but it is not difficult to cook food from semi-finished products. And such an occupation as ironing linen is almost an obsolete phenomenon. The most necessary thing is ironed - that which is "on the way out". By the way, when I told my fellow Swedes that women in Russia iron bed linen and all intimate details of the toilet (excuse me, panties, for example), I thus raised a puzzled question: “Why? And how do they (Russian women) manage to do all this? "
So the real Sweden in fact turns out to be a strong cell of modern society, arranged quite reasonably. The main thing is an endlessly calm and respectful attitude from each other, which many can learn from the Swedes.
National character and evolution of family relations.
But Swedes themselves are very open and interesting people. The important traits of the Swedish character are accuracy, love of order and planning, organization, punctuality. This is especially true of time. Therefore, at that moment when you go on your first date and you have to meet a Swede for the first time, my advice is - do not be late! The situation when the time of the meeting is agreed in advance and is not respected is experienced as extremely outrageous, or even as a personal insult. Being accurate means showing respect for others. Not arriving on time is showing disdain. Appearance much ahead of time can be interpreted as self-doubt or extreme interest in meeting, which does not always create a positive opinion about the person.
In addition, the Swedes are clean, tidy and do not tolerate dirt and disorder. It's not for nothing that Sweden is considered one of the cleanest countries in the world. The structure of the Swedish family, or rather, how exactly couples live in modern Sweden, is quite curious.
In the past, family traditions in the country were patriarchal. The woman obeyed first to her parents, then to her husband. Marriages were concluded by agreement of parents, sometimes even in the early childhood of the bride and groom. The custom of "kidnapping the bride" was widespread - sometimes the young man did not look after the chosen one, but preferred to wait until the beloved began to prepare for the wedding with a rival. In the midst of the wedding celebration, a young Swede kidnapped her. The bride, stolen from one wedding, was immediately brought to another, where the celebration and feast of the enterprise was arranged, a young family in Sweden settled in their own house and lived on their own farm. This custom has survived to this day. The traditional division of roles in the family began to change in the 60s, after Swedish wives rose up to fight for financial independence from their spouses and began to demand from them a salary for housework, childcare, "household services" of the husband, etc. .NS. This "wife's salary" is called hustrulon in Swedish, literally "housekeeping pay". The demands of the keepers of Swedish households were justified by the fact that the wives of Swedish husbands have to fulfill the duties of cook, governess and maid at the same time (although Swedish husbands are said to be quite ready to deal with each of these assistants separately at the allotted time for each). Be that as it may, the "wife's wages" movement, as it turned out, promised certain benefits for husbands. After all, if earlier the spouse usually gave his wife all his salary, now he had to part with only two-thirds of what he earned. So the notorious hustrulon became the norm in Swedish families for a while, and this continued until women in Sweden began to pay more attention to their own financial independence and devote themselves to their own careers. I will touch on the material side of family life. In order to live no worse than neighbors (and everyone strives for this, because there is a standard that must be met), both husband and wife need to work. In most families it is like this: spouses have their own, separate, bank accounts. Food, telephone, electricity are paid jointly. As for everything else (clothes, cosmetics and others), then everyone withdraws money from their account. It is considered quite normal, for example, when a husband and wife pay each for themselves in a restaurant.
After a decade of fairly straightforward relationships, weddings and church weddings are back on track. The ritual looks very solemn. In order to hold a wedding ceremony, the newlyweds sometimes have to wait for their turn - in the most picturesque or fashionable churches, everything is planned for a long time in advance. During the wedding ceremony - contrary to the previous ritual - now the bride is led to the crown to the sound of Mendelssohn's march by the groom himself, not his future father-in-law.
The groom is invariably dressed in a black tailcoat, and the bride is in a snow-white dress with a hem embroidered with flowers. These colors are complemented by wildflowers adorning the bride's hair. Even in relatively difficult times of economic downturns, newlyweds do not hesitate to spend on specially designed gold rings, sumptuous receptions and expensive honeymoon honeymoons.
The formula for modern Swedish marriage is mutual respect plus the independence of the spouses. The success of this formula can be judged by the divorce rate: more than 50 percent.
Children
Children in Swedish families from an early age are brought up as free individuals. Corporal punishment is strictly forbidden and is considered a crime, so every young Swede can call the police and tell the mom or dad who spanked him. At the same time, parents face severe punishment.
The Swedish kid has his own room, which is completely his personal territory. Even if everything is lying there in a picturesque disorder, the parents prefer not to interfere, believing that the child has the right to live as he wants and will put things in order at the right time.
Parents perform all duties calmly, since it is believed that children need privacy no less than adults. Mom or dad take their children to additional activities, since many Swedish children are actively involved in sports.
A child can get his own car license at the age of 18, from about this age children leave the family and lead an independent life in which their parents do not interfere. Young people rent their own homes, study or work.
As for the material support of children, it completely ceases as soon as they (children) leave the family and begin to live independently. And this happens early, as a rule, when adolescents reach the age of eighteen. They rent small apartments, sometimes joining in pairs to pay less for housing. No money - they apply for material assistance to the appropriate social service (if, for example, a teenager is still in gymnasium, this is grade 10-11 in a Russian school) or they borrow money from the state, and the payment of this debt stretches for 10-20 years, depending on the further financial situation.
Women and men
A foreigner who finds himself in Sweden may get the impression that this country is inhabited by two completely different peoples: one people are men, and the other is women. The typical Swedish woman is beautiful, confident and knows three foreign languages. She has good taste and while she is not married, she travels a lot, enjoying the nature of the places she visits and completely giving free rein to her feminine nature. Marriage does not end her career and does not deprive her of her own bank account.
The average Swedish man is considered shy, laconic, submissive, sentimental, principled, reliable - in general, this is the same man who can make a good match for the average Swedish woman and become the father of her child (this is the science of statistics with her love of averages). The Swede is a true home craftsman who also knows which side to approach the baby carriage and how to swaddle his cub. By nature, he is a loner, an individualist, who feels best at work, on a mountain track, or in a country or country house, which he constantly and tirelessly rebuilds.
Swedish men and women are united by one common quality - it is a kind of diagnostic approach to the relationship between them. These relations are subjected to the most thorough analysis, down to the smallest detail, various aspects of their connection are compared and studied. Questions like: "How did you like it?", "What to think so that next time it would go better with us?" - are considered quite natural. For a foreigner, this almost clinical approach to gender relations can be noticeably discouraging, but it will be a good tempering for immersion in the Swedish environment.
Half of the country's adult population is single, and couples living together are usually not officially married. This by no means discourages those who adhere to traditional views, as well as incorrigible romantics, from the attempts to enter into legal marriage, which often come to our dating site with Swedes. Those who decide to marry often appear in wedding photographs with the children they gave birth to even before the formal union was concluded.
It's easy for a Russian girl to meet a Swede!
In Sweden, interethnic marriages are generally welcomed, and for a long time. There are many emigrants there - Arabs, Pakistanis, Chinese, Poles, Ethiopians, Greeks, Russians. This is the result of the open border policy, which was actively pursued in Sweden in the 70s due to the small population in the country. Women from Russia are especially popular among free Swedes-men. Therefore, more than one dating site with Swedes has appeared, and more and more often advertisements of the following kind appear in the newspaper dating service column: “Young, without bad habits ... (etc.) will get acquainted with a woman ... (etc.). etc.), preferably from Russia. " Jonas, 34, journalist, Stockholm:"Russian girls are very interesting and educated interlocutors, they are ready to support just any topic of conversation, much more interesting than the Swedes, who have a narrow outlook."
Most Russian women found Swedish husbands or samba thanks to the "International Dating Service", having come to the dating site with Swedes and all kinds of intermediaries. One of the few happy women frankly told me that she paid the intermediary two thousand dollars to meet the Swede, but in her choice, thank God, she was not mistaken and was really happy.
A Russian woman willingly marries a Swede, but the attitude of Swedish women towards Russian women is wary, in any case, it remains so until the moment of closer acquaintance and personal contact with each specific representative of Russia. What is the reason? Why? A question for thought.
The feminist movement has achieved great success: today women in Sweden are more fully involved in the labor force than in any other country in the world. The Swedish Cabinet of Ministers is 50% women. Even among priests, they are becoming more common. Under the new succession law, men and women in the royal family have the same right to inherit the throne. The woman plays a major role in marriage. In Sweden, women are more likely to "marry" men than vice versa. A man, along with a woman, is engaged in children and housework. It is not unusual for men to discuss the recipe for pancakes while looking after their children in the sandpit. Single dads are becoming more common. Equality has meant, for example, that a woman can indict her husband for rape if she has no desire to fulfill her marital duty. Women alone visit restaurants, cafes, beer bars and invite gentlemen to dance, leaving no privileges to men. Therefore, especially in recent years, cases of marriages between Swedish men and Russian women have become more frequent. After all, a Russian woman is like no other far from feminism.
How many people, so many opinions, and foreigners-men judge us, mainly by Russian girls whom they knew personally, whom they met on vacation or worked. In any case, everyone agrees that Russian girls are very beautiful and feminine, funny and stylish, good housewives, and the demand for Russian wives abroad is growing every year, so on our website you can get acquainted with a Swede to create serious relationships.
We hope that our story seemed interesting to you and will be useful if you have turned to our dating site with Swedes and are planning to marry a Swede.