The main female mistakes at the beginning of life together. Pros of living with a guy

Girls, and at what intimate meeting, in your opinion, it is already possible not to use condoms? I now mean them precisely as a means of protection against diseases (after all, you can protect yourself from pregnancy in a different way).

I know that many men (especially after 45) do not want to wear condoms at all, already on their first intimate date. But in my opinion, this is utter recklessness

We have been married only for the second year, but we have not yet gone on vacation together. The fact is that both me and my husband have different concepts of rest. For the second year in a row, he has been visiting his relatives in another region. They have a summer cottage in a beautiful location and great fishing. I am not at all tempted to fish for 2 weeks and live in a simple house with outdoor amenities. Therefore, for this period I went to my parents, which gave me great pleasure. Then there was the opportunity to go to the sea, but my husband agreed that I should go with my sister, but he himself does not want to go there. The person does not like the sun and beach holidays. All of us for now

Recently, I noticed a tendency that people celebrate a wedding in a closer family circle, do not arrange magnificent celebrations ... My husband's twin sister got married, we were not invited. Then they said that they celebrated in a close family circle. A friend got married, there were also only parents, brothers and sisters ... What is this, a crisis? or people don't want to bother with all this pre-wedding preparations

I have been dating a guy for over 5 years, my friend knows him well too. And then a friend offers me some intimate thing, I am generally shocked, of course I refused, I will not tell the guy anything, there will be such a scandal. I thought that I had a normal and understanding friend, I myself said that our relationship with the guy is wonderful and envies in a good way. But why did he offer me sex, what does it mean that he sees me as a whore and not a friend? And he doesn't care about all the friendship? It was in a slightly drunk state. It’s a shame, I didn’t bring up this topic with him, and I don’t want to, I’m shy

My husband is a passionate lover and an insatiable sex experimenter. Almost every month she buys various sex toys with which we get to know each other. But this time his fantasy just struck me. He decided to buy a sexy swing for $ 500. The girls, as you think, will allow the husband to further realize his fantasies in life or forbid him to do so.

I am 26 years old, I am a single mother.

My son is 4 years old, his dad abandoned him when I was 6 months old. At first he wanted a child, but then he decided that he was not ready. He just got lost, I didn't bother him anymore. I bring up the kid and put him on his feet myself. There is a one-room apartment, working as a teacher in a kindergarten. In general, we don't die of hunger, but it's hard. I try to help my mother's parents with stage 3 cancer. I don't even think about my personal life, my last man is my son's dad.

But four months ago, a new tenant appeared in our staircase. This is not a poor man

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. This seems to be not a lot, but it's already decent! And during all this time, we have never dispersed, we did not quarrel much, but our relationship is not the same as before. I know that the candy-but bouquet period lasts a maximum of the first half a year or a year. And then, everything gradually dies down! We live together, but sometimes we spend time separately being at home, he hugs and kisses noticeably less. Yes, he is with me, and he loves me the same way, but there was very little tenderness and attention to me. How do you fix it or maintain balance in the relationship? What to do in this

my husband and I found ourselves in a rather awkward situation. We have neighbors in the country - a young couple (35-38 years old) with a child. our children are friends, they are nice interesting people, we communicate well. Sometimes in the evening we have dinner together, even in the city we met a couple of times - we walked with the children.

the fence between the sections is a grid ... so what happens on the next section - everything is in full view. The neighbor's husband does not work in the city, he often does not exist. And so, when he is not there, she sometimes comes with a man. They spend the night and leave in the morning. This happened several times.

You can watch films either alone or together with a girl. If you want to watch something interesting, I advise and choose a movie for your holiday.

Both having and not having a relationship has its pros and cons. Many people think that having a relationship is better than being single, but this is far from the case! If the absence of relationships, as well as their existence, has a beneficial effect on your life, then you have nothing to worry about. Everyone chooses their own correct path. A warm hug after a long day at work and the true sense of independence a single adult feels is equally good.

If you have not been in a relationship for a long time or have recently broken up with a girl or boyfriend, do not forget that this has its advantages.

People think that they themselves choose with whom and when to date. This is not true. The only thing you control is the quality of the relationship you are in. Many of us are involved in unhealthy relationships, so it might be worth exploring the benefits of being alone and realizing that all you deserve is happiness.

So what are the pros of not being in a relationship?

1. You are not shy about experimenting with your appearance

No, this does not mean at all that you cannot experiment with your appearance or clothes while in a relationship. When you're not in a relationship with someone, it can give you a little shake-up. Loneliness is a good time for self-discovery and a sense of identity. The way you look is an expression of your self-perception.

2. Spending time with friends

When you are in a relationship, you spend most of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. For this reason, after parting, you may be in a state of shock for some time. You have a lot of free time, which you most likely want to spend with old friends, because when you were in a relationship, you probably saw them very rarely.

3. You will learn a lot about yourself

There is no doubt that when you developed a relationship, you experienced personal growth. In fact, if you constantly feel that you are developing as a person, then the relationship you are in can be called healthy. You can spend the time that you have after breaking up to learn to love yourself. When you are in a relationship, it is very easy to lose your identity. However, starting to rebuild it again, you may notice that you have become much stronger than you were.

4. You can focus on your interests

There is nothing wrong with watching romantic comedies with an original plot while sitting at home with a girl, especially when all your friends are drinking beer and watching sports programs at this time. But even the most patient young people can quickly get tired of this activity. When you don't have a girlfriend, you can watch whatever you want. It gives a feeling of freedom and independence.

5. You can expand your range of interests

Many people sacrifice their hobbies and interests for the sake of relationships, especially if they have already lasted long enough, because there is not enough time for everything. When you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can spend your free time on expanding the circle of your interests. After a breakup, there is nothing worse than sitting at home and doing nothing. You don't have to stand still. Continue to develop as a person.

6. You will understand what you want to see in your future partner

This advice will come in handy for those who have already gone through a breakup. Sooner or later you will come to the point where you want a new relationship. Each of the previous ones certainly taught you something, and now you know exactly what kind of person you would like to see next to you.

7. You ended an unhealthy relationship.

Of course, this does not apply to all people. One of the best feelings can be the realization that you have freed yourself from an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps for their sake you had to sacrifice what you were so keen on. After breaking up, you can return to this. After a breakup, it doesn't get easier right away. Only after a while you will understand that everything was for the best.

8. You can focus on work and other obligations.

When you are exclusively passionate about your significant other, different areas of your life can start to slip. If you are looking to build a career or devote more time to some other labor-intensive activity, being out of a relationship can be a great opportunity to pursue your plans.

9. Opportunity to save money

A romantic dinner in a restaurant is great, but this fantastic evening can be spoiled by numbers. Every relationship is different, and you don't have to constantly empty your wallet to have a good time. There is no doubt that dating is not for poor people. If you have financial problems, then you need to hope that your significant other will appreciate all the little things you do to make her life better.

10. You can flirt

Forget dating! It's too hard! Sitting alone with a glass of wine and flipping through Tinder is sometimes much more enjoyable. If you recently broke up with someone, you may feel less confident at first than you once did. One way to deal with this is by light flirting.

And now you will discover ten benefits of having a healthy relationship that will make you want to fall in love again!

1. He (a) is your best friend.

We all have friends, but life certainly seems better when your partner is your best friend. You spend most of your time with it, not noticing how fast it flies, and not wanting to see someone else next to it.

2. You sincerely enjoy every meeting

One of the signs of a healthy relationship is that you are always incredibly happy to see your partner, especially after a long day at work. If you are intimidated by the time you need to spend with your partner, why then do you need this relationship?

3. He (a) your support and support

Life isn't always easy. Sometimes the people around you need your support. Having great friends and family is great, but only your significant other understands you like no one else and knows what steps to take to make you feel better.

4. Great sex

You can have sex without even being in a relationship. However, no one will deny that a night with the person you truly love is always much better and more enjoyable than having sex with a random girl from the bar. Moreover, with a girl with whom you have been dating for a long time, you can experiment with various sex toys and other things, which you cannot do with someone you barely know.

5. You can have fun dates

It's a pity that when people meet for a long time, they start to forget about the importance of romance in life. Dating is one of the best things about a relationship. If your fantasy refuses to work, there are tons of fun dating ideas on the Internet.

6. Some activities are just for dating.

In How I Met Your Mother, there is an episode in which the characters discuss the so-called "brunch" (brunch), a meal that is not meant for single people. This upsets Marshall, who recently broke up with his girlfriend but loves brunch very much. This humorous episode suggests that there are activities out there that are simply meant for couples. You can go ice skating alone or go to the movies, but it's much more enjoyable to do it with your significant other.

7. Joint expenses

One of the advantages of a relationship is that your partner will always support you in difficult times, including financially. Are your wages delayed? We hope your partner is able to help you financially and I am sure that you would do the same for him. Nobody wants to borrow money, especially from relatives or friends. At least when you borrow money from your partner, you know that he is doing it out of love for you. It will certainly benefit both of you.

8. You have someone to talk to

9. You must expand your range of interests

Nobody wants to have a relationship with a narrow-minded person. At one point, you may find that the longer you meet with a person, the more hobbies and habits you adopt from him. If your partner, for example, is fond of cooking, then you may also start to be interested in her.

10. Together until old age

When people are asked what they would like to achieve in this life, they always answer in different ways, and this is absolutely normal. Some want to grow old with their loved one and, as an option, benefit society. If you think so, then there is nothing better than having a healthy relationship, growing, developing together with your partner and living to a ripe old age, together overcoming all obstacles and adversities on the way and enjoying happy moments.

According to the site material

How often single women deceive themselves and others, that they value their freedom very much. The only exceptions are financially independent business women who live in luxurious apartments (although they also dream of love with a nice guy). But it's funny to hear this from women whose living conditions seem deplorable.

Moving to live with your beloved - where not a single thing of his has touched a woman's hand, where you can create comfort for both the dear and for yourself, well, isn't that where a fraction of female happiness lies? But do not rush to rejoice if a man invited you to live with him, even this has its pros and cons.

A room in his parents' apartment

The girl got married. Or even so - the guy invited the girl to live with him even before marriage, because he has serious intentions for her. The young, the foolish, do not start with that.

Even if initially it seems like living together as an idyll in your corner, then conflicts may soon arise.

By the way, you first need to go through the procedure of getting to know the “ancestors” of the guy. And what it happens - you can read it in the article.

On what grounds can conflicts arise? There are several reasons for this.

Two hostesses in one kitchen

An adult woman is jealous of the holy of holies in her apartment - the kitchen. Her order reigns here. Only she knows on which hook her ladle should hang and in which saucepan to cook the porridge.

And she got used to making the menu herself: her husband loves sausages with pasta for breakfast, and oatmeal is still useful for her son. And pancakes with sour cream on Sundays. She knows the tastes and condition of the stomach of every household member as "Our Father."

And then the daughter-in-law appears with a desire to bake pizza. Well, let him try. But the mother-in-law is a priori sure that this is a bad idea. The result of the concoction:

• the kitchen is full of flour,
• the barrel of pizza is burnt
• the crumb is thick like a pie.

The patient mother-in-law will wash the kitchen and even praise her daughter-in-law for this “masterpiece”. But not everyone has angelic patience. The grumpy mother-in-law will start buzzing about both the mess and the stupid cooking. There will be a rumor that pizza is harmful, and in general it is not necessary to cook it that way.

Both of them can be understood. The main and undeniable mistress in the house is the mother-in-law. But even for a young girl, these are the first diligent steps in life. And if the newlyweds began life together immediately without parents, then everything would be much easier.

Young husband of mother-in-law

Here everything is more terrible - jealousy will not be for the kitchen and not for his son, but for his young peasant. And she will not tolerate young people in the house. A dangerous competitor.

And even if the daughter-in-law does not care deeply about her husband's stepfather, and even if the young husband of the mother-in-law does not pay attention to the young woman, she will still be like a bone in the throat of the mother-in-law.

Youth is the cause of irritation. The daughter-in-law will come out of the shared bathroom in a short robe and "top-top" tiptoe on the carpet. Wiggles hips, without a hint of cellulite. The skin is smooth as a peach. The blush is natural and there is no need to apply makeup.

Even if the mother-in-law's husband was her age or older, jealousy would still be spinning like a nasty worm in her soul. But over the long years lived, it is already possible to understand the strange reaction of her husband and click on his nose to discourage him.

But if three youths live side by side in an apartment, and the mother-in-law turns out to be an “old woman,” then the daughter-in-law is not relatives. She automatically becomes an enemy, rival and rival. And a mature woman is unlikely to tolerate such a neighborhood. In this case, you need to drive away from yourself the idea of ​​living together in the husband's territory.

What to pack with you for permanent residence with your beloved man

If your boyfriend is not burdened by the neighborhood with some other people, and his family is just him and his cat, then still do not tune in to a long stay. Need a trial period.

If you live near

If you live with your beloved man in the same city, then no suitcases are required yet. You just need to slightly “mark” its territory. No, of course not to mark it as his cat does, but much more fragrant.

Underwear for a change, the necessary cosmetics and perfume in case of an overnight stay - in general, such simple belongings. If you managed to live together without pretensions from the first days, then over time your things will be imperceptibly added - both on the shelves and in his wardrobe. Therefore, you will not have to carry suitcases - and so everything will soon be filled with you and your scent.

By the way, about the cat. Yes, some women are allergic to these shaggy animals. If you put the condition “either me or the cat!” From the first day, then the man will surely choose the cat. And it even paints a man - it means he is not a traitor. And what to expect from such a commander is still unknown.

If you want to be comfortable for a man from the first days, then unobtrusively offer to give the cat to your lonely grandmother. And in other things, do not be impudent - they say, the shelf needs to be outweighed and the cabinet moved. A man is used to living like this so far - and you get used to it.

If you are miles apart

You met a man on the Internet, you have a lot in common, but the distance does not give you the opportunity to live together. And then suddenly he called you to move in with him. Happiness is bursting with you.

It would be foolish if you immediately start packing boxes and shipping the furniture in a container. Hey stop! He does not yet know what kind of mistress you are, and you still do not know how he is in everyday life.

Yes, it's not even about the economy - but about the relationship in the same territory. On the Internet, we are all so brave, and there is nothing to be afraid of, but as soon as we start our everyday life, it suddenly turns into hell.

Therefore, if your beloved suddenly called you to him, then here are the main tips:

Do not cross out everything that you have made in your city: work, friends, study. Just put it on hold for a month by taking a vacation.

Take with you a small suitcase of necessary things: everyday clothes and a couple of beautiful outfits. Well, as well as the little things that come in handy.

You need to study the whole environment, and how to adapt to it: sniff, listen, feel with your skin - whether it will be good for you here and is there an opportunity to create coziness.

See how your boyfriend reacts to you - is he annoyed, praises your dishes, is happy with the prospect of living together.

If on vacation there was a quarrel over trifles - then think: will everything be so rosy in the future? Talk to your boyfriend about it.

If you ignore these rules, then everything will turn out like in a joke. Well, more precisely, in his likeness:

The official fell into a coma, and goes to hell. Devils fuss in front of him, together with the devil they laid the table, fed, gave him drink, they serve him champagne in the pool with the girls, in general, kayfukha-zhituha. But the official was pumped out, and until his death he dreamed of going back to hell.

And so he dies and immediately falls into a boiling cauldron of lava. Squeals, yells to the devil:

- How so? That time there were girls, a pool, champagne, where is it?

And to hell with him:

- Don't you confuse vacation with permanent residence

Folk joke

So be on your guard. Something is wrong - go back and be glad that you got off with a slight fright.

When you are already on permanent residence

Well, everything has grown together with you, and you do not doubt for a minute that you want to start living with a guy on his territory. He has got accustomed to your things, there are no problems with the cat, and even some of your pieces of furniture have safely migrated from your home to him.

But there are some rules that you must follow, because after all, this is not your territory, but his:

Don't make your own laws. This applies not only to the general economy, but also to the moral side. He was used to watching "Match" in the evenings, chomping at dinner and smoking on the balcony. You will wean him from the first days to slurp, switch the TV and drive him from the balcony to the entrance - you will fly out of the apartment as a cork yourself.

Careful with the pedant. A guy with a pathological craving for cleanliness is certainly lucky if you yourself do not tolerate a speck of dust in the house. But if you are not clean enough, and you have all the "play-play" on the farm, then be ready to leave. Or, if money allows, hire a housekeeper.

Living together with a child. It doesn't matter if it's his child from his first marriage or yours, but the rules can be much stricter. His child may not accept you as a mistress, and your boyfriend may be annoyed by the whims of your child. Therefore, before moving in, you must first get used to the children.

If within six months you both were able to get used to each other, then in general everything is fine, this is a plus. And then - life will show.

There comes a time when young people (boy and girl) face a serious choice, enjoy freedom further or start a family. To make the right decision, it is necessary to determine the pros and cons of family relationships. Sometimes people feel ready to create full-fledged and serious relationships, they get tired of loneliness, but at the same time they feel unprepared for marriage and starting a family.

Everyone has freedom of choice. Some people prefer loneliness, this status helps them to realize themselves in certain types of activities, they can do as they want, they are not obliged to listen to other people's opinions, do not rely on and are not guided by anyone. Loneliness helps to self-actualize. In this case, the girl is in an advantageous position, because there will be no problems with household chores, cooking, cleaning and washing. The young man will not report to her where he was and with whom. Thus, the pros and cons on the face.

Starting a family, building strong family relationships is a crucial step. Not every person can decide on it. Therefore, you need to think carefully, weigh everything, find out the positive and negative aspects of family life, and then make the right decision. You need to know that in family relationships, a person is responsible for the well-being of all family members, not only for himself. Men perceive the creation of a family as a burden that prevents them from pursuing a career. It will also be difficult to combine your favorite work, and at the same time remain an excellent and loving family man. It's difficult, so don't rush to get married. Be sure to think it over.

In family relationships, there are good and bad moments, the pros and cons are different. In our time, families are rarely found in which complete mutual understanding and harmony reign. Often, when young people get married, they hope that their life together will be happy, emotions will only be positive. But no one can predict how it will actually be, no one knows how life will turn out.

Therefore, it often happens that a married couple does not find a common language with each other, they later realize their mistake - they entered into a marriage relationship. Divorce sets in, and the couple never learns all the delights of a joint and happy life. Therefore, for a start, young people can simply live together for a while, check their relationship, understand whether they are ready to be together.

For the spouses to be happy, it is necessary to talk to each other, share emotions, events, spend a lot of time together. It's good to start doing this before you get married. If communication does not improve, there are no common topics and interests, then you should think about and find the problem, try to fix it. You can go on a trip or event together, spend time together.

Spouses should always and in everything support each other. To do this, they must have a common goal that unites them and which must be followed. The couple will live happily, family life will be measured. Each of the couple should seek and see only dignity in each other, this will help establish communication that will bring a lot of pleasure.

If you want to test the relationship for strength, undertake home repairs, - says popular wisdom. But what if you are just going to start living together? Why be ready before moving in with a guy, is it worth changing habits to please your loved one and how to properly distribute roles and territory, read on.

We divide the territory

Hooking up with a guy isn't hard at all. It's much more difficult to get along together. No matter how wonderful the relationship is, sooner or later one of you will violate the boundaries of your personal space, to which your partner may react unpredictably. Practice shows that the easiest way is to live with a guy with whom the path was covered, which included various situations.

The opinion of psychologists:

“Often, conflicts in a couple arise due to misunderstandings and suppression of grievances. When people just start dating, they turn a blind eye to many of their partner's shortcomings - hormones are seething, so that analytical activity is completely absent. The more life situations a couple experiences, the stronger the relationship becomes. And in each of these situations, true character traits are manifested. "

So after deciding to live with a guy, the girl already knows that he can be aggressive and impatient in certain cases. It makes no sense to be offended by him - this is his nature. If the couple's pastime mainly involves entertainment, it is impossible to get to know each other better. As a result, when lovers begin to live under one roof, other, not always positive, character traits begin to appear unexpectedly. This leads to resentment. Indeed, in essence, resentment is an unjustified expectation of something that never happened.

Most of the grievances are related to the division of territory. Here's what you need to be prepared for before you start living with a guy:

• He sometimes wants to be alone. Many girls are afraid of such a desire, like fire. It seems to them that the guy has stopped loving them. This is one of the biggest mistakes, on the basis of which serious scandals flare up.

Why? Every person needs solitude from time to time - to organize thoughts or disconnect from reality. It's just that a few minutes are enough for someone to withdraw into himself and return, while someone needs at least half a day. This is mainly due to the activity of the brain, which sometimes requires a reboot.

What to do? If you do not want to be branded as a "brainwave", do not take away precious minutes from your loved one alone with yourself. You, too, sometimes want peace and quiet. So instead of another portion of reproaches, it is better to do what you love - visit the gym, take a walk in the park, go shopping.

• Not all of his hobbies are a matter of your mind. And you have to come to terms with this. Otherwise, it will turn out like in a joke: getting up early, she broke all the fishing rods, flushed all the maggots down the toilet and cut the net with scissors, and then clung to her beloved shoulder. There were two hours left to live.

Why? Hobby is a private area. Not everyone (and even the closest friends) can go there. And if your favorite pastime is related to the realization of a childhood dream? That's the same. So be loyal to your loved one's little weaknesses.

What to do? There are two options: to fall in love with the same thing, and then instead of an enemy, they will see a like-minded person in you (if your loved one is a Dynamo fan, you can be sick together at home or in a sports bar, at the same time, you will control the process of drinking alcohol), or give up and acquire a hobby most. But do not try to root for another team, otherwise scandals due to football battles will be added to conflicts on the basis of everyday life.

• He likes chaos. And yes, it is much easier to figure out than, in your ideal order. So, if a bunch of graphical drawings, professional literature and airplane models are flaunting on your desktop, do not meddle. He is so comfortable and familiar. And then, before living with you, he somehow managed to cope.

Why? There are many options: the beloved is a pathological slob and he likes to live surrounded by a mountain of garbage; he is too preoccupied with career advancement to pay attention to such trifles; a pile of garbage is a sign of protest at your excessive cleanliness (yes, socks under the sofa from this opera).

What to do? Relax and stop cleaning as if you were living in an operating room. Or set a cleaning schedule.

Build Habits Together

To move in with a guy means to move in with his habits. He will have to do the same. Some habits can transform over time - no one canceled the compromise. Immediately stipulate several points (seemingly a trifle, families do not break up because of such trifles), for example:

• How to leave the toilet lid. Here it is as convenient to anyone. For hygiene reasons, it is better to lift;
• What to do with a tube of toothpaste. Someone calmly tightens the cap if a loved one left the tube open. And someone is terribly annoyed when a partner squeezes out the toothpaste from the wrong base.
• Who washes the dishes and when. Not everyone wash their cup immediately after drinking tea. Like, then there will be the main meal, so I'll wash it. When the clean cups run out, there will be no time for jokes.
• Who takes out the trash. If you always wash the dishes, let the trash be on the conscience of your loved one. Or vice versa. But never take on all the chores around the house, otherwise you will grow up a lazy and slob with your own hands.
• How much cosmetics can be stored in the bathroom. Undoubtedly, tubes, jars and vials are necessary, but isn't it easier to use one amount at the bottom instead of four body lotions, but half full?
• Who uses the computer and when. If everyone has their own gadget, the question disappears automatically. But if on duty you need to regularly send and receive files, and your beloved has occupied a laptop and is keen on "shooter", it is impossible to convey anything to him, engulfed in excitement.

Financial question

Family budgeting is one of the most difficult tasks for a young couple. How many people, so many opinions about who should replenish the family piggy bank.

Psychological Council:

“No matter how independent and financially independent you are, in no case should you pull the blanket over yourself in financial matters. First, by doing this you humiliate your partner - you question his ability to be a breadwinner. Secondly, think about the future - after all, you have to give birth to children. It is doubtful that you will work with the same dedication before and after childbirth. So let your partner get used to being the captain of your joint boat. "

At the same time, you should not resort to extremes: a man must a priori, and a woman is created for love. A normal man already knows this. But a couple is a couple to support each other in difficult times.

If your other half is able to provide for the family, let your contribution to the budget be symbolic. If not, you can use a 2: 3 ratio (you give a slightly lower amount for joint expenses) or split expenses (someone pays utility bills, someone pays meals).

Never control your partner's income. A normal man will always save money for something important to both of you. Yes, and little joys, which also require money, have not been canceled (for example, fishing or designing airplanes). After all, no one requires you to report why this or that lipstick and mascara was bought.

For more information on how to understand the other half, see the video below.