The mechanism for the formation of full-fledged love. How to give Love. About the compassionate love of a woman for a man. About sacrificial love

We were given a "task" in the class to prepare material on the topic "what it means to give love and how it is." And no matter how much she asked - without an answer where to look for the material and how to find it out for herself. Consciousness, of course, first of all screamed “Oh, mummies, how can I open this topic if I don’t understand it myself ??? Who would have given this answer to me to begin with ”...

I drove home and kept thinking what it is to Giving Love, as I understand it, what it means to me. And at some point it suddenly dawned on me ... Why should I read how it was with someone else, if I have my own experience? I remember, and I am constantly reminded with new examples of how it is when someone gives me Love. I remember very well, and now I observe how this responds to me, what results it leads to and what effect it has. Could someone else from the books better explain to me what “Giving Love” is than I felt it myself? No book will give me more understanding than this example before my eyes and, most importantly, than my personal experience: then how in me it echoed, echoes and ... of course, everything is according to the will of God and as He pleases, but I hope I will not stop feeling this in the future.

I will not name names, because it does not matter who it is. For not they, but through them. I’ll just say that there are people in my environment who, by their example, better than any book, taught me to understand what it means to Giving Love.

One could say simply and briefly: such Love leads to God. This conveys the whole essence, but at the same time - it is somehow too dry and does not say anything about what it really is, how can you come to this yourself?

So what words can I use to describe it ...

It is a very pure and holy feeling. Which, they say, is manifested precisely in action. But in what action? How to understand these words, what you need to do for this in order to give Love yourself?

First of all, I am reminded of this limitless acceptance, all-inclusive, completely non-judgmental. No matter what I create and no matter how wrong I was, they loved me always... And no one ever turned away, never closed, did not condemn and didn’t even show whether it was hard, whether it was difficult, whether our nerves were giving up ... Everyone always accepted with such Love. And when I didn’t hear from time to time and repeated my mistakes, I fell again and stuffed bumps - they still accepted, lifted, like wrapped in Love in a soft warm blanket again and released again. They let me go, let me decide what to do and didn’t interfere even when I knew that I was wrong and I’ll crash again, I’ll hit the bump again and again I’ll resort to them for help later :)) But they still let go and let me decide for myself. And when I say that everyone accepted with Love, this does not mean that all the time they just poured honey into their ears and praised. There were also "cuffs", there were also "kicks to the bottom" :))) Everything happened. But with what Love it was always ... It seems that he speaks to criticism, it seems that he even scolds (outwardly), but with what Love on feelings ... Sometimes I even wanted to say “Do not strain choosing words, because if in such feelings, then you can though to knock :)))) ". And sometimes I could only do that to come up to hug and just ask “How can you believe in me even when I don’t even believe in myself”. But somehow they can ... And they do not just believe, but they believe so unconditionally that they even fill me with this faith.

In such Love, exactly what needs to be said and done is always said and done for my good as a Personality. And what exactly will be a blessing for my spiritual development.

How to understand and what to be guided by, how did these people know what exactly I need to say, praise or scold in this situation, when to answer, and when to ignore? such an experience of communicating with people. I can only assume that for this you just need to be in the Feelings yourself. To be in God to the last drop, wholly and completely, indissolubly abide in Love for Him and in His good and creative Holy Love. And then everything must be happening in the best way.

So far, I can only talk about how such Love is felt from this side, from the side of the person to whom it is given. This kind of Love really leads to God. Because it inspires, it gives strength to gather yourself in a heap and get up again even after the most (as it seems to consciousness) heavy falls. Even when it was very bad. This love not only helped to get rid of this "bad", but filled so much that again the wings grew behind my back. I would like to repeat over and over again that this is, first of all, a complete, non-judgmental acceptance of a person. The way it is. Just acceptance. Without the slightest attempt to change it. Even without such a thought. From simply he is and he is simply loved for it.

In such Love there is no “I”, no self, no ego. In such Love, Man no longer lives for himself, but for others. He is always open and always. For in this man already God creates. Such Love gives life. She, as a pure source in the desert, gives strength and revives.

And you don't need to try to change anyone or convey something. It is enough just to Love. Love God in yourself. And God is in another person. And a person already, if he wants, - he himself will feel everything and decide for himself. Personally, I, over and over again feeling the value of the Gift of such Love, wanted to change myself. Someone did not change me, they just loved me, but I myself wanted to become better, to become cleaner. When they take it without judgment like that…. In such an experience, the understanding of what it is to love comes. What is love. And what does it mean to Give Love. God loves so much ... And it doesn't matter through whom this Love came to me and revived me. The main thing is that she came. And filled it. And she taught. Taught that the source of this love of God is in each of us within.

Submitted by: L

How to Give Love? Psychological parable

The angel heard the voice of another angel: “Angel, God has a mission for you. He wants you to come down to earth, be born into a human family and teach the people of the Earth to Love. The family has already been chosen, and the mother is pregnant with your human body, and labor is about to begin. So come down and enter this body. " The angel, who heard this, thought: "This is a surprise. And so immediately. I do not even have time to outline a plan of action. Well, okay, teaching people to love - it will be interesting." just at that moment was born. The angel was born into a family in which there were already two children: two boys, one five, the other seven. Our angel was born a girl. He was shocked to find himself in this small and helpless little body. where he was born, it was cold and brightly lit, and the people in him acted somehow mechanically, without feeling any feelings for each other. The birth of Agapi did not bring any particular joy or happiness to any of them. translates as "Love".)
Her parents did not seem to want another child at this time. And if there was nowhere to go, then they would prefer to have a boy, not a girl. They were experiencing financial difficulties, and among other things, their relationship was not going through the best moment. They constantly argued, humiliated and offended each other and their children.
Agapi suffered in this hostile environment. She could not understand why these people are so Unhappy, so Angry, Feel no Gratitude for everything they have, so afraid of each other. They seemed so strange to her. She has not yet learned how to communicate with them. She did not understand everything from what they said and from what was happening around. But she hadn’t even learned to speak.

Years passed, but things only got worse. Her brothers kept her off the hook and teased her. Parents almost did not notice her, and if they paid attention to her, then to scold her when she made mistakes or when they themselves were upset or oppressed. She felt rejected and resentful. She could not accept this situation. She waited and wanted to get something completely different from her family. All these pains and disappointments forced her to isolate herself from the world around her. She began to withdraw into herself. She began to indulge in her thoughts in her room. She seemed to have fallen into a stupor. She completely forgot that she was an ANGEL, forgot about the purpose for which she was directed to Earth. She lost her Inner Strength and most of the Time was in the sad disposition of the Spirit. She literally lived in fear. In the fear of being Rejected, in the fear of not being Loved. She began to Believe that she was Bad and Unworthy of Love, because she was indifferent to everyone, no one loved her, no one cared about her. She rejected herself and began to neglect her studies and health. She felt that she was being rejected, even when this was not in fact. Her relationships with friends began to deteriorate. When she turned from a girl into a girl, things went even worse, because her resentment and self-denial turned into anger towards others and denial of others - her parents, brothers, friends, the "system" itself and, most importantly, God, who allowed it all. She even stopped believing in God and completely forgot that she was an ANGEL.

She saw no purpose in life, no reason - why wake up in the morning. Whatever she did was devoid of joy and meaning. She didn't like her room, her family, her school ... She didn't like her life.
She decided that she did not want to live anymore and must commit suicide. She began to consider how to do it. She decided to do this the next day, having previously written several letters, where she would explain to everyone the reason for her departure.

She wrote letters all night. In them she told the story of her life. She remembered all her life, right up to the moment when she was born in a maternity hospital. But she could not remember what happened before - before her birth. She transferred all her memories to paper. It was a confession of suffering, pain and anger. And also - evidence that human life on this planet is far from perfect.

Finally, at about four in the morning, she fell asleep, completely devastated physically and emotionally. She was tormented by one single thought: “But what about everything before my birth? Where was I before I was born? Who was I before I was born? " These questions rolled over the shores of her mind like waves on sea sand.

When she fell asleep, her mind rushed upward. She felt how some force pulled her out of her shell, from her body, and she began to rapidly move up the spiraling tunnel, at the end of which was an unbearably bright light, much brighter than the sun. She walked out of the tunnel and saw that she was in a place that defies description. She had never seen such colors on Earth. Beautiful music poured from everywhere, which, however, had no source - no beginning, no end, it just sounded and that was all. Agapi was overcome by a feeling of complete peace of mind and satisfaction.
Before her were all kinds of creatures, pleasant and benevolent, all of them radiating love and joy, without making any effort for this, and without uttering any words. Love and joy were their inner nature. She began to remember. Something about this place seemed familiar to her. “I feel at home here. Just like home. "
She began to remember who she really was. “This is where I lived before I came down to earth. I'm an angel! I am an immortal creature! I am a divine creature! I am beautiful! I am a part of God. Now I remember - I was sent to earth to teach people about love. But I was lost on the ground. I forgot about everything. And just imagine - I was going to commit suicide tomorrow. "
Another angel - the one who told her about her mission on earth eighteen years ago, approached her and said:
- Everything was planned. If you had not endured all that fell to your lot, you would not have been able to feel so deeply, would not have learned to sympathize and would not have gained sufficient inner strength to help people the way you will do it now. In addition, you would not have a motive to understand your past and yourself in order to find out your true roots and the purpose of being on earth. You would forget about everything, indulging in sensual pleasures, you would spend time in empty entertainment and petty affairs, like all other angels sent to earth.
- All the other angels? our angel repeated in surprise. - So, there are other angels on earth with the same mission as mine?
The more knowledgeable angel smiled, a sly disappointed expression appeared on his face.
- Yes, all people on earth are angels who were sent there on a mission to bring Divine love, peace, inspiration, joy and harmony. All people to the last are angels sent there with this mission. But, unfortunately, hardly one out of a thousand remembers his task, and even fewer make any efforts to realize their mission, to implement it for their own sake and for the sake of others.
- But why do they forget about their mission? our angel asked.
- For a while - for a very short time - they remember about her, for all the messages they receive from the environment have such a property that angels born in the form of a human begin to identify themselves with their tiny little body. We learn to be afraid, to feel weak, vulnerable and unworthy.

Wisdom and love within us do not grow, and therefore weaken. They are drowned out by ignorance and fear. Ignorance drowns out our wisdom, and fear drowns out our love.

What can be done to help the angels trapped in their bodies? Agapi asked.
“We can go down to earth and try to remember the truth about ourselves and about life. We can begin to live this truth and express it through our thoughts, words and actions. We can do this by selflessly loving everyone for who they are.
We can love them while remembering their divine nature. Remembering that they are also angels sent to earth so as not to forget about their true nature. And when we learn such love, they will be able to manifest the divine gift that was laid in them. It will be much easier to achieve all this if you find other angels who still remember the truth, and join efforts with them. Reveal to the people around you the truth about their true nature.

Help them love themselves and those around them. Help them understand that they are immortal and divine and that there is no reason for fear or apprehension. Explain to them that God loves them for who they are and that they should not fear Him. Teach them that God is love and that they will become closer to Him through love - love for all living things, even for animals, plants and insects. Teach them to unite and collaborate to create a society where love, friendship, peace and harmony reign, where everyone has everything they need, where everyone is happy. Teach them that all this is possible, because they are the divine rays of God on earth and are capable of all this.
An angel named Agapi began to think out loud:
- But who will listen to me? On earth, everyone takes me for an eighteen-year-old girl.
But the knowing angel explained to him:

Your body is just a tool with which you can express yourself. The will of the Lord is manifested through your body. When you are pure, confident in yourself and connected to your inner self, you radiate a powerful vibration that will reach people's hearts and awaken in them the truth about themselves. And then they will forget about your body and connect with your soul and listen to you.

But just remember this: you help people with what you are, and not with what you teach them.

Your most important teaching is who you are, how you live, how you behave, how you feel and think. All this, even if it remains unnoticed by others, has a much stronger effect on them than what you teach, Your example is your most effective teaching. Work to connect with your inner source and let your self manifest itself through that source. Be yourself. Don't try to become someone else. You will be beautiful and divine if you just remain who you are. Now get ready - your time has come.

The love needs of men and women are different. And if we take a specific gender, its different representatives (representatives) also have their own needs and ideas about what love is and how to give it.

However, there are a few things in common. I will list what concerns the female sex. So, how to give love to your woman (girlfriend)?

What women and men want

Ladies expect from their gentlemen that they will take care of them, be interested in their lives, and lend a helping hand in difficult times. It is very important for a woman to feel that a man needs her. that he worries about her and, in fact, loves her. Men expect trust from their women. however, their trust must be gained by caring. It turns out that men need more trust, and women need more care.

Understand and accept

One of a woman's love needs is understanding and listening. As for a man, a woman should accept him as he is, without trying to remake him for herself.... No, of course, some minor flaws need to be corrected, but no more. Moreover, men should get rid of their shortcomings themselves, with your light hand, dear women.

Respect and appreciation

A woman needs respect and attention to her interests and hobbies. If she feels that the man respects her and puts her interests first, she will respond to him with gratitude.... And gratitude for the stronger sex is very important. How can you prove to a girl that you respect her and her interests? Remember all important dates for her, do not make her wait long for you, give flowers and gifts not only on holidays, but also on ordinary days, make surprises, be a gentleman, finally.

Recognize each other's opinions

Men must remember that they must acknowledge and take into account the views of women, even if their points of view are completely opposite.... It's so easy to say "Thank you, I will take your opinion, dear" into account instead of the rude phrase "I will do as I see fit." This also applies to the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity - it is vitally important to respect each other's opinion.

Proof of love

Women constantly need to feed their feelings with declarations of love from men. The easiest and surest way is to say "I love you, my joy". However, many men sincerely do not understand why they constantly say the same words to a woman.... And that is true, but after all, it is important for your lady of the heart that you periodically prove your love to her, but, fortunately, this can be done not only in words, but also in deeds. Have romantic dinners, give gifts, and so on.

We all want love in one way or another. But everyone has their own understanding of what it is, and their own ideas on how to get it. Much less often we think about the opposite process - what should we do so that the people who are dear to us feel our loyalty and support.

Knowing how to give and receive love is one of the most important feminine qualities. Is it possible to learn this and how to do it selflessly, without expectations and games “you are for me, I am for you” - let's try to find answers to these questions.

"Love" as an educational method.

We are used to living in conditions that love must be earned. We are brought up so that we must "be good" and act in a certain way, meet certain set criteria. And then we can be proud, admired, then we deserve love. This is such a method of upbringing - do not be capricious - and your mother will love you. If you eat porridge badly, your grandmother won't talk to you. "Love" blackmail like.

We become adults, and the methods of "knocking" love out of us do not change. Moreover, we ourselves are successfully starting to use them. I was late at work and did not call - I will not talk to you. Bring me flowers - then I will forgive you. Behave as I demand, then I will be with you.

Does this have anything to do with what we call love?

Or as a trade item.

An equally common situation is that a woman wants her ability to love to bring her a number of benefits. She expects that she will have a man who will appreciate her feelings and in return will provide, create such living conditions as she dreams of, buy a car - an apartment - a dog, move her up the career ladder - in general, help get what she wants, who wants what.

Therefore, she invests in relationships, but at the same time begins to wait for dividends. I do what I think is necessary and I look - what are you doing for me in return? You give me - I give you, "give to give." Such games with partners rarely end in something good, since very few people can like such an attitude towards themselves.

Do you know what is your compatibility with a man?

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Amazing attitudes - it seems to us that everyone around us owes us (well, we’re so good), but we don’t owe anything to anyone (we’re so good)

Don't expect love - give it.

We expect to be loved for who we are. Whatever we are. At the same time, they themselves are very often completely unprepared to accept and love unconditionally, unselfishly, not for something, not “because”. It is very easy to admire the perfect picture - a man who never makes mistakes and always behaves in full accordance with our idea of ​​how to do it right. It is quite another matter to love a living person, with his fears and ugly actions.

To admit one's own and others' weaknesses, the right to make a mistake, the right to live in harmony only with one's own judgments, without regard to the opinions and claims of the people around, is the first step on the path to love. To another person and to yourself. The ability to understand, accept and support any choice of a loved one, to abandon the "you must" position is the first step on the path to real intimacy.

What can you "give" to your beloved?

Remember that everyone experiences love differently. Therefore, it is important that you start from your partner's preferences and not your own. What can and should be done to make your partner feel that you love him?

Touches

The bodily, tactile level for many men is the most important condition for intimacy. Indeed, touch changes our physical and emotional state and removes barriers. They bring us together literally.

Communication

Have a conversation. Learn to talk about how you are feeling and teach your man to tell you how he is feeling. Speech is a unique means of human communication,.

Time

Spend as much time with your loved one as needed. It does not matter what exactly you do together, it is important that you accumulate experiences and emotions together. This "bank" must be constantly replenished in order for your feelings for each other to acquire new shades and facets.

Confidence

Give your man freedom, his own space. Do not check his correspondence and phone calls, do not interrogate where and with whom he was. This will help you show that you trust him. It is almost impossible to build harmonious relationships without trust.

Attention

Big things are made up of little things. Pay attention to minor details - call to see how the day went, put your phone aside, if you're on a date, tweak any detail in his clothes or hairstyle. Show him that you are not just there, but that you are with him, here and now. Men really appreciate it.

Be considerate of your partner. Try to understand exactly what he needs in order to feel loved by your side. And do it.

Enjoy.

Learn to enjoy the moment, not the expected result. Then giving love to loved ones will become much easier. We paint ourselves beautiful pictures of the distant future, and completely forget to enjoy life right now.

We look forward to the vacation, imagine how great it will be to walk together along the surf line, and completely forget that it is no less great to walk together in the evening along a snow-covered street. Hand in hand, nothing to talk about. Is it worth it to miss this opportunity, spending time in quarrels over the fact that there is not enough money for a trip to Bali, so you will have to go to Turkey.

Remember the main thing - your behavior means a lot to a man, but if there is no harmony at the level of signs, then the relationship will be very tense. It is highly desirable to find out the exact compatibility of your particular zodiac sign with a man's sign. This can be done by clicking on the button just below:

Was he tired on Friday night after a hard week? Maybe you shouldn't nag him on the theme "We are stuck at home again." Try to relax together at home, there are a thousand ways you can think of it. Do not be upset about what you cannot do, rejoice at what can be done, and do it.

For myself

Everything that I said above is not just a useful life skill, not a quality of character or aspiration of the soul. Doing well for your loved one (if you really love him) is also very, very pleasant. After all, if you love, then you want him to feel good? So, when he feels good, it’s good for you too?

For a woman, giving love and warmth to loved ones is the same as giving warmth and love to herself. She . It is filled with strength, joy, the desire to do good deeds, the desire to live. This is a very simple recipe for happiness, a way to renew, relax, nourish your vitality.

If you want to be with your beloved man, you need to figure out if you are compatible by your zodiac sign?

Find out the exact compatibility with a man - by clicking on the button just below.

What do we women need to be happy? Each of us at this stage of life, of course, has our own understanding of happiness. But, of course, we all agree on one thing: of course, we need a close, harmonious relationship with a man.

But - how to create them, how to realize your desire? For someone, perhaps, a patriarchal marriage is also suitable: the man is the boss in the house, do as he says, be obedient, give birth to children, run the household, and everything will be OK. Or matriarchal: it is necessary to build it, to mold it “from what it was”, to sharpen it for itself, so that it fulfills all desires, then there will be happiness. Or - an open relationship, no one owes anything to anyone and everyone is free. All these options, of course, have their advantages: partners can solve each other's problems, and this can be mutually beneficial, convenient, comfortable and safe. But - happiness and well-being are not the same thing.

Happiness- this is involvement in something greater than yourself, the ability to feel whole, one with a loved one and at the same time - to be yourself. It is this opportunity that is given by loved ones of two equal people, built on the basis of trust, sincerity, acceptance, responsibility, love. It is in such relationships that we develop and grow, we can fully realize ourselves as a woman, give a man the care and warmth that he needs from us.

In order to create such a relationship, fill them with love, you need, first of all,. Yes, yes, to love, but not in the sense of selfishness, but in the sense of taking care of yourself as a woman, being filled with joy and pleasure. After all, if we are in a harmonious state and enjoy ourselves and life, men want to be near us, admire us, want to do something pleasant for us. If we do not become dependent on a man, do not beg for his attention and care, they themselves take care of us.

If we are filled with pleasure and want to share it, men want to give us pleasure too. Nobody likes it when someone is asked or demanded from him, everyone loves when they are given a gift! And when you understand that everything depends on you, that these are not “men are not the right people”, but something is wrong with you and that this can be changed - this is already the first step towards creating a happy relationship.

How can one fill oneself, enter this wonderful state? First of all - to be in contact with yourself, to know and feel what you need in all plans. To be in contact with the body, not to be in “thinking” and in feelings and emotions all the time, but to relax, feel your body, develop sensitivity, accept your body as it is, enjoy dancing, touching your skin, swimming in the sea or river, muscle training, whatever you do.

And when you live so deliciously and feel what your body needs and develop its flexibility, strength, its boundless abilities and skills, when you know his desires and talk about them to a man, he will gladly fulfill them, he will be just as tasty next to you. A sensual, delightful woman is just him!

When you are in the body, you better feel your feminine energy, which is so attracted to men. Practices and tantras, belly-dance, Latin, body-oriented therapy exercises are very suitable for the development of both bodily abilities and energy potential, for relaxation and health. Better yet, use all of these methods together. And this is two more steps towards a man: to be in the body and to be in energy.

Another step is to be in contact with your feelings and emotions, to express them, but preferably in an "environmentally friendly way" (not "on the head" of a person). After all, emotions are the main "item" of expenditure of our feminine energy and what interferes with relationships (jealousy, resentment, anger, ...). There are psychological practices for transforming negative emotions into positive ones. Then you will be able to think positively and attract the same positive events into your life!

If we are attentive to our inner world, to our soul and "feed" it with exactly what it needs, if we feel our inner Woman (psychologists call her Anima) and Man (Animus) and harmonize their relationship, then we can build harmonious relationship with your beloved man. And at the same time, harmony is needed between the senses, body, mind and soul. If you are attracted to a man, and at the same time thoughts arise: “This is wrong. Not now! He is not what I need, ”the body cannot agree with the mind. The mind builds its schemes and "throws away" everything that does not fit into them. But life is much more and more multifaceted than the scheme, so it is interesting.

If you know your true desires (not invented, not imposed on you), you may well realize them. And, perhaps, if you are alone now, a man is not necessarily needed to implement them now. On the contrary, when you implement them, men will "catch up." And in order to choose the man you need from them, you need to very clearly imagine what kind of man and what kind of relationship you want, that is, create an intention. But - attention! This practice does not work if you are not in a calm, relaxed, harmonious state, if you are in doubt “will it work?” If you are anxious and waiting. And it will definitely work if you are happy and enjoy yourself. And this is another step towards the desired relationship!

And, if you finally met your man, it would be good to clarify his desires. Men are different beings, different from us women. They differ both physiologically and emotionally and psychologically. In Eastern practices there is such an image: a man is fire, quickly lights up and quickly goes out, a woman is water, starts up slowly, but then you can't stop her, the element! Knowing this and feeling your man, you can learn to "light up" faster and give him more sensual pleasures, plunging into the "sea of ​​tenderness." You can learn to combine it and your desires, this is what Taoist and Tantric practices teach. Then yours intensifies and fills both, a harmonious exchange takes place.

It is very important if you get to know more and more of your man, if you trust him, allow yourself to be taken care of, if you share his life goals and you have common values. This is the foundation on which close relationships are built. After all, our main female task is to give love and care to a man, admire him, create an atmosphere for life for him. Love is what we learn and what we discover in ourselves, filling ourselves and a loved one.

I wish you love and happy relationships!

Yana Sokolova - psychologist, trainer, consultant, yoga and Tantra master, body-oriented therapist, instructor in the "Vagiton" system. (http://yanawings.ru/treningi/imbilding)

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