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Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence. All books by Daniel Goleman

Daniel Goleman (March 7, 1946) is an American psychologist and science journalist.

For twelve years he wrote articles for The New York Times, specializing in psychology and brain sciences. He has written more than 10 books on psychology, education, science and leadership.

He received worldwide recognition after the release of the book "Emotional Intelligence", which lasted on the New York Times bestseller list for more than a year and a half.

Goleman has received numerous awards for his research, including the Journalism Achievement Award from the American Psychological Association. He was elected a member of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in recognition of his work in the popularization of science. Twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize.

Books (6)

Focus. About attention, absent-mindedness and success in life

In the book "Focus. About attention, distraction and success in life ”, psychologist and journalist Daniel Goleman offers an innovative look at the most valuable resource of our time, fraught with the secret of successful work and self-realization - attention.

Combining advanced theoretical research with practical examples, the author examines the phenomenon of attention in various aspects, offering a serious and long overdue conversation about this little-studied and underestimated ability of our consciousness.

In order to survive in today's world full of all sorts of distractions, the ability to sharpen focus is essential, Goleman convincingly shows.

Emotional intellect

Is it related to the intelligence quotient (IQ), which determines the degree mental development human?

Why do people with an average IQ often achieve success in life and career, while those whose IQ is very high fail to realize themselves?

What are the methods for measuring the level of emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence at work

What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Is it related to the intelligence quotient (IQ), which determines the degree of mental development of a person? Why do people with well-developed emotional intelligence achieve career and financial well-being faster and easier than those whose IQ is very high? How to increase the level of emotional intelligence?

These and many other important questions are answered in his super bestseller by the famous psychologist Daniel Goleman, the founder of the theory of emotional intelligence.

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The name of Daniel Goleman is usually associated with criticism of the traditional view of IQ (intelligence quotient). He summarized research on how the brain works and used it to promote and popularize the concept of emotional intelligence (EI).

In Emotional Intelligence at Work (1998), Daniel Goleman defined emotional intelligence as the ability to understand one's own feelings and those of others, motivate oneself, and manage emotions in relationships with oneself and others.

Daniel Goleman was born in 1946. He graduated from Harvard and received his doctorate in psychology there. His bestseller Emotional Intelligence (ACT, 2008) was published in 1995, followed in 1998 by Emotional Intelligence at Work. Goleman also wrote for a long time on psychology for the New York Times.

He is currently President of Emotional Intelligence Services in Sudbury, Massachusetts, which, in alliance with the Hay Group, offers courses in the development and assessment of emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman is co-chair of the Emotional Intelligence Research Society at Rutgers University. Goleman's interest in EI came from the realization that a high IQ is not a requirement for success in life.

Daniel Goleman points to the relationship between business acumen and EI. In the second work, he identified 25 EI competencies, or traits external behavior and analyzed how EI influences success and failure.

Key Ideas by Daniel Goleman

Emotional intelligence and the brain. In Emotional Intelligence, Goleman talks about the implications of brain evolution for our feelings and behaviors. He describes how, in the course of evolution lasting millions of years, in human brain three main areas have developed.

  • brain stem- located at the base of the brain and is a continuation of the spinal cord. Regulates physiological functions and instinctive reactions. The most primitive part of the brain.
  • hippocampus- developed later than the brain stem and is slightly higher. Contains the amygdala, which was described by Joseph LeDoux in the 1980s. It is responsible for emotional reactions to visual and other information. Under certain circumstances, the amygdala is able to literally "capture" the brain, taking over the reactions of a person before he has time to think something, and makes him immediately react. Mammals or humans who have had their amygdala removed do not experience any feelings. It catalyzes impulsive actions that can overpower rational thinking and reasoning.
  • New cortex (neocortex)- a large, well-developed upper region of the brain, which covers the centers of thinking, memory and speech.

In the course of evolution, emotions and thinking abilities - the two main functions of the brain responsible for behavior - ended up in different zones. In addition, the emotional centers receive information earlier than the thought centers and will provoke a very quick and in some situations strong reaction. Then the results for a person can be catastrophic.

As long as we are not aware of the situation and in control of our feelings, we may allow inappropriate emotional responses that block consideration of other possibilities. But emotions also have their own "wisdom" that we must learn to use; especially for intuition.

When people encounter stimuli that cause intense fear, anger, or despair, for example, the first impulse comes from the amygdala. Until the intellect kicks in, the brain goes into survival mode, stimulating instinctive responses that may or may not be right.

Today we have little need to fight for survival or avoid the dangers that primitive man faced. But some instinctive reactions are useful in certain circumstances; therefore, we must understand that the primitive reaction in the emotional center precedes the rational evaluation and reaction. Emotional intelligence assumes that we understand it and know how to use it, as well as control our reactions.

EI structure. To describe the functioning of EI, the scientist proposed a system of five elements: introspection, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. Each of these elements has certain features.

  • Introspection- understanding how your emotions affect behavior; orientation to one's own values ​​when making decisions; assessment of one's own strengths and weaknesses and the ability to learn from experience (self-assessment); confidence in yourself and in your abilities, values ​​and goals.
  • Self-regulation- mood management; stress control, positivity and purposefulness; calmness and ability to think rationally under pressure; possession of emotions; reliability and self-control.
  • Motivation- the ability to enjoy problem solving; striving for achievement; responsibility; initiative; optimism; personal preferences when choosing goals.
  • empathy- the ability to take a different point of view; openness and honesty; moving away from stereotypes about other people; knowledge of culture.
  • social skills- skills of influence, for example, the ability to persuade; ability to communicate, including with colleagues; ability to listen, cooperate, resolve conflicts; the ability to inspire and lead; the ability to initiate and manage change; the ability to understand the feelings of others.

Daniel Goleman argues that people with these characteristics are more likely to succeed in leadership positions. As an example, he cites data from various sources that confirms that top managers with higher levels of EI perform better. And he describes several funny situations illustrating the manifestation of EI in the workplace.

Emotional Competence Questionnaire. Daniel Goleman believes that EI can be developed. For its assessment and development, in collaboration with the Hay Group, he developed a questionnaire on emotional competencies. It reduces the five original components of EI to four.

#1 Introspection:

  • understanding one's own feelings and their meaning;
  • a realistic view of their advantages and disadvantages;
  • confidence in yourself and your abilities.

#2 Composure:

  • control of emotions;
  • honesty and reliability;
  • flexibility and dedication.

#3 Social competencies:

  • empathy, the ability to perceive the thoughts and point of view of another;
  • understanding and feeling group dynamics and interpersonal relationships;
  • focus on the needs of others, especially when it comes to the client.

#4 Social Skills:

  • helping others in their self-development;
  • the ability to influence people;
  • excellent interpersonal communication skills;
  • the ability to change management style;
  • the ability to resolve disputes and disagreements;
  • the ability to strengthen and build relationships;
  • group work skills.

Leadership styles. With Hay/McBer, Daniel Goleman has also explored leadership styles. He presented the results of his research in 2000 in the Harvard Business Review. Based on the responses of 3781 managers, the researcher concluded that leaders get the best results using a combination of six management styles, each of which has character traits and refers to the various components of EI.

  • Persuasive leaders demand constant obedience. They are motivated, initiate change and strive for success.
  • Authoritative leaders inspire people to strive for a goal. They initiate change and have empathy skills.
  • Cooperating leaders build relationships. They have excellent empathy and communication skills.
  • Democratic leaders actively encourage the group to participate in decision making. Excellent communicators, listeners and negotiators.
  • Pace-setting leaders set high standards. Initiative, motivated, striving for success.
  • Learning leaders expand and develop staff capabilities. Good listeners, effective communicators and motivators.

Researchers believe that the six leadership styles presented are good in various situations and directly affect the working atmosphere of the organization, which, in turn, determines its financial results.

The suggestion that success largely depends on communication skills is not new; therefore, Daniel Goleman was often criticized for presenting well-known ideas with a new sauce. Goleman himself does not hide the origins of his ideas and admits when he refers to the work of his colleagues. In 2001, Charles Woodruff analyzed Goleman's concept of EI and summarized:

  • Daniel Goleman contradicts himself when he writes that EI is inherent in everyone and bestowed by nature, and at the same time claims that this ability can be developed;
  • measurement of EI based on a questionnaire cannot be called sufficient, especially in terms of reliability;
  • the manifestation of EI or competencies proposed by Goleman, such as self-confidence and leadership, are by no means new and are long-studied factors of high achievement.

No matter how justified the criticism, Daniel Goleman has undoubtedly greatly enriched management theory in matters of EI. He used several pretty complex ideas related to human behavior and biological evolution and translated them into a more simple and understandable form.

Dedicated to Tara, the inexhaustible source of emotional wisdom


ARISTOTLE'S PROBLEM

Anyone can get angry - it's easy, but it's not so easy to be angry with someone who deserves it, and to a certain extent, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way.

Aristotle. Nicomachean ethics

It has been unbearably steamy since morning. It's been one of those hot and humid August days in New York when the perceived discomfort leaves people despondent. I was returning to the hotel, and as I boarded the Madison Avenue bus, I was almost shocked to stumble upon the driver, a middle-aged black man with a gleeful smile, who greeted me with a friendly, “Great! How are you?" So he addressed everyone who entered the bus, slowly crawling in a dense stream of cars, which, as usual, crowded the center of the afternoon city at this hour. And every passenger, like me, shuddered in surprise, but, being in a bad mood because of the weather, few answered his good-natured greeting.

However, as the bus pulled out of the traffic on its way to the bedroom community, a slow, almost magical transformation took place. The driver, while the court and business, entertained us with a continuous monologue, vividly commenting on what was happening around: something unimaginable was happening in that store during the sale, and a wonderful exhibition opened in this museum, you have not heard anything about the new film that recently went to the cinema on the corner? His admiration for the rich opportunities that this city provided to its inhabitants infected the passengers, and, approaching their stop, they threw off the shell of gloomy sullenness in which they climbed into the bus, and when the driver shouted after them: “Bye! All the best to you! ”, Everyone answered him with the same with a smile.

The memory of this incident has lived in me for almost twenty years. As I rode this bus down Madison Avenue, I had just completed my Ph.D. in psychology; but at that time too little attention was paid in psychology to how such a metamorphosis could have come about at all. Psychological science knew almost nothing about the mechanics of emotions. And yet, imagining the spread of the benevolence virus that must have swept through the city, coming from the passengers of this bus, I realized that its driver was something of a city peacemaker, almost a magician in his ability to transform the gloomy irritability to soften their hearts a little and make them kinder.

In complete contrast, some newspaper reports this week:

At one local school, a nine-year-old student went on a rampage, sprayed paint over school desks, computers and printers, and mindlessly wrecked a car in the school parking lot. The reason was that several of his third grade classmates called him a "sucker", and he decided to convince them.

Eight teenagers were injured when a chance encounter among a crowd of teenagers loitering outside a Manhattan club led to a brawl that ended when one of the offended opened fire on the crowd with a .38 automatic pistol. The report says that such shooting in cases of disrespect has become more and more common throughout the country in recent years.

According to press reports of murder victims under the age of twelve, 57 percent of the killers are their parents or step-parents. In almost half of the cases, parents say they were "just trying to discipline the child." Beating to death can be provoked by "violations", for example, if the child interferes with watching TV, cries or soils diapers.

A German youth was tried for the murder of five Turkish women and girls who died in a fire he set while they slept. He was a member of a neo-Nazi group and at the trial he said that he was unable to keep his job, drank and blamed foreigners for his cruel fate. In a barely audible voice, he explained in court: "I never cease to deeply regret what I have done, and I am infinitely ashamed."

The news that hits us every day is replete with such reports of the decline of civility and security - of the onslaught of base urges that cause an unbridled desire to kill. But for us, this news simply reflects on a larger scale a creeping sense of emotional out-of-control in our own lives and the lives of those around us. No one is immune from this unpredictable wave of unrest and remorse; it somehow penetrates the life of each of us.

The last decade has been accompanied by a drumbeat of similar messages that characterize the growth of ridiculous antics influenced by emotions, manifestations of recklessness and irresponsibility in our families, communities and communities. These years have witnessed outbursts of rage and despair in the quiet loneliness of the children of working parents, left in the care of a TV instead of a babysitter, in the misery of abandoned, neglected or abused children, or in the ugly intimacy of marital mayhem. The spread of mental illness can be seen in numbers showing a sudden increase in cases of depression around the world, and in reminders in the form of a rising tide of aggression: teenagers with firearms in schools, accidents on freeways that end in gunfights, unhappy employees who are fired and brutally kill their former employees. Abuse of emotions, shooting from moving vehicles and post-traumatic stress- over the past decade, all these terms have entered the usual lexicon, as well as the current motto has changed from the encouraging "All the best" to the sarcastic "Come on, come on!".

This book will help you find meaning in the meaningless. As a psychologist and journalist for The New York Times, as your obedient servant has been working for the past ten years, I clearly notice progress in the scientific understanding of the irrational sphere. But what strikes me most of all are two apparently opposite tendencies: one reflects the growing unhappiness in emotional life our society, the other testifies to the appearance of some effective means improvement of the current situation.

Why was this study necessary?

According to Wikipedia, this is the ability of a person to recognize emotions, understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their emotions and the emotions of other people in order to solve practical problems.

Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is a term coined by two researchers, Peter Salava and John Mayer, and popularized by Daniel Goleman in his 1996 book of the same name.

The book consists of five parts, sixteen chapters and six appendices at the end. Consider each part separately, focusing on the most interesting.

Part one. emotional brain

In us, in an amazing way, two minds coexist - rational and emotional. The rational mind is an instrument of insight that we are able to be aware of. It is rich in thoughts, more visible in its result in the form of knowledge, reflects the ability of the mind to ponder and reflect.

The emotional mind is another cognitive system, powerful and impulsive, sometimes illogical.

Such a mechanism of cognition has probably developed over billions of years of evolution. Emotions and intuition controlled our instant reaction in situations where we were in mortal danger. While we needed a break for reflection in order to understand what we want to achieve in life.

Ideally, there should be a balance between the rational and the emotional, where emotions feed and inspire us to act with the rational mind. Conversely, the rational mind ennobles and in some cases prohibits the manifestation of emotions.

All human passions are, in fact, under the control of the amygdala (amygdala). It is a great expert on emotions. If the work of the amygdala is disconnected from the rest of the brain, this manifests itself in a striking inability to assess the emotional significance of events; this phenomenon is sometimes called "affective or emotional blindness".

Thus, in a state of passion, a person commits both terrible and insane acts. He can hurt another, or, without hesitation, throw himself into the water or a burning house to save someone he does not even know. The amygdala can make us jump into action, while the slightly slower but more aware neocortex just “unfolds” its finely crafted response plan.

We can say that the main task reasonable person- to make friends the amygdala and neocortex. It is advisable to stop this confrontation between feeling and thought, heart and head from time to time.

Take, for example, the ability of emotions to disrupt the process of thinking. There is such a thing as "working memory" - the amount of attention that allows you to retain the data necessary to solve a problem. It can be logical thinking tasks on an exam or a lengthy discussion. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for this. However, strong emotions such as anxiety and anger can create neural interference that negatively affects working memory. That is why we absolutely cannot think during such affects.

Part two. The Nature of Emotional Intelligence

This is the largest and most important part of the book, in which Goleman offers the most of his ideas and valuable observations, so we will dwell on it in more detail.

It is impossible to accurately predict the success in life of a student with a high intelligence quotient (IQ). Of course, some connection exists, but it does not guarantee anything.

Other characteristics are no less important, for the most part, it is emotional intelligence. It consists of many skills, for example:

  • To be able to restrain impulses, despite failures and setbacks.
  • Have the ability to develop motivation for yourself "out of the blue."
  • Learn to delay getting instant gratification.
  • Persistently strive to achieve the goal.
  • Do not let suffering deprive yourself of the opportunity to think.
  • Control your mood.
  • To be able to distract from unpleasant thoughts in order to focus on the main thing.
  • Hope and believe in yourself.

What a person with a high IQ can achieve, who at the same time squanders money left and right, easily lends itself to negative emotions, enters into conflicts and is rude to superiors? The IQ provides almost no explanation for why people with roughly equal inclinations, education, and opportunities have completely different fates. At first, many of them break forward, but then for some reason they go down. They are unhappy, prone to depression and do not know how to get along with people (including in married life).

It happens that people with an IQ of 160 work for those with an IQ of 100. Why is this happening? Most likely, for the reason that the academic mind alone is not able to prepare a person for the chaos of the surrounding world. First of all, he needs to develop character (an integral part of emotional intelligence), patience and learn how to cope with different conditions.

Goleman cites the characteristics of Howard Gardner, which he considers key to the development of emotional (interpersonal) intelligence:

  • Emotion management. People who lack this ability constantly struggle with tormenting anxiety, while people who have it are able to bounce back much faster after life's setbacks and sorrows.
  • Knowing your emotions. It is extremely important here to recognize any feeling when it arises. People who are more confident in their feelings turn out to be better pilots of their lives, having less doubt about the correctness of personal decisions, from who to marry or marry to what business to take on.
  • Recognizing emotions in others. This is empathy, the ability to empathize, to be attuned to social signals.
  • self-motivation. The essence of this skill is to learn how to control your emotions - to delay gratification and suppress impulsivity. This is the ability to bring yourself into a state of inspiration - such people turn out to be more productive and successful in everything they undertake.
  • Relationship maintenance. These are the abilities that strengthen popularity, leadership and interpersonal effectiveness. Such people are excellent at doing things, the success of which depends on skillful interaction with others.

Managing emotions becomes a daily task for us, because very often, especially in our free time, it is important for us to manage our mood. We experience pain when we are in a bad mood and at the same time we understand that this negatively affects our relationships with others.

The brain is arranged in such a way that we very often have little or no control over the moment when any emotion seizes us, and we have no power over what kind of emotion it will be. What can be done? At a minimum, influence how long it will last.

When emotions are extremely strong and last longer than some acceptable time limit, they gradually turn into painful extreme forms: chronic anxiety, depression, uncontrollable rage. That is why it is important to learn to control your condition before it becomes completely habitual.

One of the most unpleasant, lasting and painful feelings is anxiety. Why does it occur? A powerful trigger is the torturous images in our minds.

Chronic anxiety takes the form of formulaic, rigid ideas, rather than creative insights that really move towards solving the problem. However, even you can get rid of it if you start working on yourself. The most important thing you must do is to develop self-awareness, that is, to catch anxiety-producing episodes as early as possible. Ideally, when a fleeting image of a catastrophe is just starting a cycle of anxiety and worry. You also need to identify in what situations and places these thoughts visit you and avoid / stop / try to cope with them. Finally, apply relaxation techniques. Tension and anxiety are habits that can be dealt with by another habit, relaxation.

Part three. Emotional mind in action

This part is devoted mainly to relationships in marriage. Goleman insists that the root of all problems is to be found in childhood.

Boys and girls are taught very different knowledge about how to control emotions, because on topics related to emotions, with the exception of anger, parents talk more and more with daughters, not sons. Thus, girls receive much more information about emotions than boys.

Girls, when playing together, are divided into small closed groups in which hostility is minimized and cooperation is encouraged in every possible way, while boys are united in large groups to play, where the spirit of competition reigns.

So it turns out that already in childhood, boys understand that it is necessary to minimize the manifestation of emotions, while girls succeed in both expressing feelings and reading them from others.

You can predict whether a marriage will be strong by the presence of harsh criticism. In a healthy marriage, husband and wife openly and calmly express dissatisfaction. But if a rude manner comes up, it means that the marriage is already hanging by a thread (although some couples realize this after a few years or not at all).

If someone in your marriage is labeled "inconsiderate selfish" for an innocent act, you need to rethink your relationship. There is also a so-called mimic sign of contempt: it is created by contraction, a special muscle that stretches the corners of the mouth to the side (usually to the left), and at the same time rolling the eyes. When a similar grimace appears on the face of one of the spouses, in the other, with a silent exchange of emotions, the heart rate increases by two or three beats per minute. We can say that between the spouses at this moment there is a hidden conversation - and it causes great harm. The final nail of the problem in marriage is silence.

Part four. Windows of opportunity

Hundreds of studies have shown that the way parents treat a child has a serious and long-term impact on his emotional life. And only recently studies have begun to appear that have shown that if parents have high emotional intelligence, this is a huge boon for the child.

Some parents patiently explain to their children that this cannot be done and point out mistakes so that they correct them. Others lose patience and lose their temper instantly, calling their child stupid, expressing obvious contempt.

The most common negative parenting behaviors are:

  • Taking too passive a position. After reading books on psychology, such parents made the wrong conclusion: they do not intervene when their child is going through a storm of emotions. They believe that life is beautiful in any case, even if it brings suffering.
  • Complete disregard for feelings. Such parents consider any emotions of the child to be nonsense or an additional source of anxiety for themselves, something insignificant. As a result, the child suppresses all emotions and is completely unable to set them in motion and cope with them.
  • Manner to assume contemptuous indifference, demonstrating a clear disrespect for the feelings of the child. Such parents may forbid the child to show anger at all and punish him at the slightest sign of irritation.

The correct manner of behavior would be the following: when a strong emotion is shown, you should approach the child, explain to him what kind of emotion it is and how to deal with it. Use phrases like this: "Are you angry that Tommy hurt your feelings?".

Part five. Emotional Literacy

To explain the benefits of emotional literacy, you need to understand the cons of emotional illiteracy:

  • depression;
  • mental trauma;
  • chronic anxiety;
  • depression, lack of self-confidence.

What is depression? In fact, this is just a state in which a person introduces himself. He tries very hard for this.

  • Applies thoughts: "I'm stupid", "No matter what I do, nothing will work."
  • Attracts physiology: breathes slowly, smiles a little, fetters his body.
  • Poorly eats: eats fatty foods, semi-finished products.

A pessimistic outlook on life makes people (especially children) extremely susceptible to depression. Children who develop a pessimistic outlook on life, attributing failures in their lives to some terrible flaw in themselves, begin to become victims of depression by reacting to failures.