A proud people who love independence and the Motherland live. Its representatives have special features of appearance, character, upbringing. Chechens, whose appearance is very recognizable, are located far beyond the borders of their homeland.

Religion of the Chechens

Before the arrival of Islam, this people worshiped a group of gods associated with nature and life. And only in the XIII century, Islam began to spread on the territory of Chechnya. By the end of the 18th century, Chechnya will become completely Muslim.

Now the predominant religion in Chechnya is Islam. These are mainly the teachings of Sufism - nadiri or nakshbandi. They, in turn, are divided into vird brotherhoods, of which there are more than 30.

The largest group are zikrists. They are followers of Sheikh Kunta-Khadzhi Kishiev.

Life and everyday life of the Caucasian people

The main settlements of the Chechen people are auls. Tourluchnye houses, in which the most important thing is a leak-proof roof, are very clean and bright inside. For those who live in the mountains, this is not so noticeable. There are no frames at the windows, just shutters and a canopy in front of the door for weather protection.

A special oven is built in the courtyard of each house, in which delicious homemade bread is baked.

In fact, the mountaineers are completely unpretentious in food, they are content with flat cakes, corn porridge, barbecue or stew.

The main activities of the people are:

• cattle breeding;
• beekeeping;
• arable farming;
• hunting.

Women's occupation - raising children, caring for the house, the mood of everyday life. In addition, they weave very beautiful carpets, sew dresses and shoes.

Appearance of men

According to anthropological data, Chechens are not some kind of integral type. The appearance of the Chechens can be attributed to the Central Asian race.

They are characterized by medium or tall stature, strong build, snub or aquiline nose, strong-willed chin, bushy eyebrows. In the mixed type, hair can be either jet black or light blond. It is the same with eyes, there are people with dark brown eyes and light green ones.

The main feature of the appearance of Chechens is dolichocephaly, that is, their head shape is longer than that of other Caucasian peoples. Many men wear a beard or mustache, which gives them even more masculinity.

The menacingness, strength and courage inherent in men are to some extent reflected in the appearance of the Chechens. A firm and direct look shows the unyielding will and stubbornness of these beautiful highlanders.

The characteristic features of the appearance of the Chechens are a slightly protruding forward, and strict outlines of the face.

The appearance of women

There are many very beautiful women in Chechnya. Instagram is filled with selfies of beautiful, young and well-groomed girls.

They have large eyes, ranging from black to light green, perfectly shaped eyebrows, a prominent nose, wide, gracefully contoured face, beautifully defined lips and long hair. True, by old age, the face coarsens and becomes very tough.

As a rule, women cover their heads, but lately many young girls allow themselves to walk bareheaded. At least until marriage.

Despite the fact that Muslim women from neighboring countries allow themselves to wear trousers or jeans, Chechen girls do not dare to do so, preferring long skirts and dresses.

Already from school, young girls are obliged to wear headscarves, which they later replace with beautiful hijabs and stoles.

Modern girls pay special attention to accessories. If this is a bag, it must be from a well-known brand. If shoes, then sneakers of good quality.

Perhaps the most famous and beautiful Chechen women are:

• Zarema Irzakhanova;
• Amina Khakisheva;
• Zamira Dzhabrailova;
• Makka Sagaipova;
• Tamila Eldarkhanova and many, many others.

Character of the people

Nokhchalla - this is how the whole essence of a Chechen can be described in one word. Appearance, inner feeling of oneself as a person with dignity, attitude towards life and towards people - all this is included in the word "nokhcho".

That is, it is a kind of honor for a Chechen. The way they build relationships in the family, in love, in friendship, at work - this is nohchalla.

Chechens respect friendly relations so much that they can give their lives for a friend. Friendship is sacred for them. Highlanders support a friend in any position.

The attitude to the female sex is special. They always behave with restraint in the presence of women, get up when they meet and do not allow them to say something superfluous.

A Chechen man will never allow himself to hit a woman, or even more so a child. In children, they do not want to bring up cowardice, so physical punishment is completely absent. If the mountaineer hits the girl, then his whole family will be responsible.

If it happens that the wife cheated on her husband, then he has the right to expel her from his home, demanding the kalym to return.

Chechens are a cheerful, hospitable people. Yes, the appearance of Chechen men sometimes strikes fear into the hearts of people of other nationalities, but this does not mean that they are in fact so cruel.

Although it is fair to say that the age-old struggle for land has developed fearlessness, courage, dexterity, indomitability and endurance in them. Even the enemies of this nation cannot but admit it.

Chechen traditions

The traditions of the Chechens go back to ancient times, and most of them are observed to this day.

For example, a man is required to stand up when an elderly woman enters the house. If he goes out into the street with a woman, then he must go a step forward so that in case of danger, the blow would fall on him.

If a girl gets married, then her husband's family controls her further fate. The mother-in-law brings her up as she sees fit, transferring all household chores into her hands.

It is considered a great insult to touch the headdress of men.

Chechens are not used to showing feelings for everyone to see. A Chechen is obliged to behave respectfully towards any person.

This word defies translation. But it can and must be explained. "Nokhcho" means a Chechen. The concept of "nohchalla" is all the features of the Chechen character in one word. This includes the entire spectrum of moral, ethical and ethical norms of the life of a Chechen. It can also be said that this is the Chechen "code of honor".

A child in a traditional Chechen family absorbs the qualities of a knight, gentleman, diplomat, courageous intercessor and generous, reliable comrade, as they say, "with mother's milk." And the origins of the Chechen "code of honor" are in the ancient history of the people.

Once, in ancient times, in the harsh conditions of the mountains, a guest who was not accepted into the house could freeze, lose strength from hunger and fatigue, become a victim of robbers or a wild beast. The law of the ancestors - to invite into the house, warm, feed and offer a guest for the night - is sacredly observed. Hospitality is nohchalla. Roads and paths in the mountains of Chechnya are narrow, often snaking along cliffs and cliffs. Having scandalous or arguing, you can fall into the abyss. Being polite and compliant is nohchalla. The difficult conditions of mountain life made it necessary for mutual assistance and mutual assistance, which are also part of the "nokhchalla". The nohchalla concept is incompatible with the table of ranks. Therefore, the Chechens have never had princes and slaves.

"Nohchalla" is the ability to build your relationships with people, in no way demonstrating your superiority, even being in a privileged position. On the contrary, in such a situation, one should be especially courteous and friendly so as not to hurt anyone's pride. So, the one sitting on horseback should be the first to greet the one on foot. If the pedestrian is older than the rider, the rider must get off the horse.

"Nohchalla" is friendship for life: in days of sorrow and in days of joy. Friendship for a highlander is a sacred concept. Carelessness or disrespect towards a brother will be forgiven, but towards a friend - never!

"Nohchalla" is a special veneration for a woman. Emphasizing respect for the relatives of his mother or his wife, a man dismounts a horse right at the entrance to the village where they live. And here is a parable about a highlander, who once asked to spend the night in a house on the outskirts of the village, not knowing that the hostess was at home alone. She could not refuse the guest, fed him, put him to bed. The next morning, the guest realized that there was no owner in the house, and the woman had been sitting all night in the hall by the lighted lantern. While washing his face in a hurry, he accidentally touched the mistress's hand with his little finger. Leaving the house, the guest cut off this finger with a dagger. Only a man brought up in the spirit of "nohchalla" can preserve the honor of a woman in this way.

Nohchalla is the rejection of any compulsion. A Chechen since ancient times, from his boyhood years, he was brought up as a defender, a warrior. The most ancient type of Chechen greeting that has survived to this day is "come free!" The inner feeling of freedom, the readiness to defend it - this is "nohchalla".

At the same time, "nohchalla" obliges a Chechen to show respect for any person. Moreover, the greater the respect, the further a person is in kinship, faith or origin. The people say: the offense that you inflicted on a Muslim can be forgiven, because a meeting on the Day of Judgment is possible. But the insult inflicted on a person of another faith is not forgiven, for such a meeting will never happen. To live with such a sin forever.

Wedding ceremony

The Chechen word "wedding" in translation means - "game". The wedding ceremony itself is a series of performances, which include singing, dancing, music, pantomime. Music sounds when fellow villagers, relatives, friends go for the bride and bring her to the groom's house. Other performances take place during this phase of the wedding. For example, the bride's relatives delay the wedding train, blocking the path with a burka or a rope stretched across the street - you need to pay a ransom to get through.

Other pantomimes take place in the groom's house. A felt carpet and a broom were placed in advance on the doorstep of the house. Upon entering, the bride can step over them or remove them from the road. If she cleans up carefully, it means she is smart; if he steps over, it means that the guy is out of luck. But the bride, dressed festively, was seated in an honorable corner by the window under a special wedding curtain, then she was given a child in her arms - someone's first-born son. This is a wish for her sons to be born. The bride caresses the child and gives him something as a gift. Guests come to the wedding with gifts. Women give pieces of fabric, rugs, sweets, money. Men are money or sheep. Moreover, men must give the gift themselves. And then - a feast in the mountains.

After the refreshment - another performance. The bride is brought out to the guests, from whom they ask for water. Everyone is saying something, joking, discussing the girl's appearance, and her task is not to talk back, because verbosity is a sign of stupidity and immodesty. The bride can only offer a drink of water in the most laconic form and wish the guests health.

Another performance game is organized on the third wedding day. The bride is led to the water with music, with dances. The escorts throw cakes into the water, then shoot them, after which the bride, having collected water, returns home. This is an ancient rite that should protect a young woman from a water one. After all, she will walk on the water every day, and the water one has already been lured with a treat and “killed”.

On this evening, the registration of marriage takes place, in which the confidant of the father of the bride and the groom participate. Usually, the mullah, on behalf of the father, gives consent for his daughter to marry, and the next day the bride becomes the young mistress of the house. According to the old Chechen custom, the groom should not appear at his own wedding. Therefore, he does not participate in wedding games, but usually has fun at this time in the company of friends.

Attitude towards a woman

A woman-mother among Chechens has a special social status. Since ancient times, she has been the mistress of fire, a man is only the owner of the house. The most terrible Chechen curse is “for the fire to go out in the house”.

The Chechens have always attached great importance to the woman as the keeper of the home. And in this capacity, she is endowed with very special rights.

No one except a woman can stop the duel of men on the basis of blood feud. If a woman appears where blood is pouring and weapons rattling, the deadly fight may end. A woman can stop the bloodshed by removing her headscarf and throwing it between the fighters. As soon as a blood enemy touches the hem of any woman, the weapon aimed at him will be sheathed: now he is under her protection. By touching a woman's chest with her lips, anyone automatically becomes her son. To end a quarrel or fight, a woman let her children take out a mirror to the chopping ones - this acted as a ban on civil strife.

According to Western tradition, a man will let a woman forward as a sign of respect. In Chechen - a man, respecting and protecting a woman, always goes ahead of her. This custom has ancient roots. In the old days, on a narrow mountain path, there could be very dangerous encounters: with a beast, a robber, with a blood enemy ... So a man walked ahead of his companion, ready at any moment to protect her, his wife and the mother of his children.

A respectful attitude towards a woman is evidenced by the custom to greet her only while standing. If an elderly woman passes by, it is the duty of any person, regardless of age, to get up and say hello first. Disrespect for the mother and her relatives was considered the greatest shame. And for the son-in-law, the veneration of the wife's relatives was counted as a virtue for which God could send him to heaven without judgment.

Male etiquette

The basic norms of behavior of a Chechen man reflects the concept of "nohchalla" - see section 1. But for certain everyday situations, there are also traditions and customs that have developed over centuries. They are reflected in Chechen proverbs and sayings about how an owner, husband, father should behave ...

Few words - "I don't know, no - one word, I know, I saw - a thousand words."

Slowness - "The fast rivulet did not reach the sea."

Caution in statements and assessments of people - "The wound from the checker will heal, the wound from the tongue will not."

Forbearance - "Intemperance is stupidity, patience is good manners"

Restraint is the main characteristic of a Chechen man in almost everything that concerns his household chores. According to custom, a man will not even smile at his wife in front of strangers, he will not take a child in his arms in front of strangers. He speaks very sparingly about the merits of his wife and children. At the same time, he must strictly monitor that no man's affairs and responsibilities fall on his wife - "The chicken, which began to sing like a cock, burst."

A Chechen, as a particularly grave insult, reacts to obscene language, especially if a woman appears in the curse. This is due to the fact that the biggest shame if a woman from a family allowed herself to have any kind of relationship with a stranger. In the republic, although rarely, there were cases of lynching women for free behavior.

The concept of male beauty of Chechens includes high growth, broad shoulders and chest, thin waist, thinness, quick gait - “You will know what he is like by his gait,” people say. A mustache carries a special, iconic load - "If you do not behave like a man, do not wear a mustache!" For those who wear mustaches, three prohibitions are attached to this strict formula: do not cry with grief, do not laugh with joy, do not run away at any threat. This is how a mustache regulates the behavior of a Chechen man!

One more thing. They say that Shamil, the leader of the rebellious highlanders, who was going to surrender, was hailed by his faithful companion several times. But Shamil did not turn around. When asked later why he did not turn around, he replied that he would have been shot. “Chechens don't shoot in the back,” Shamil explained.

Special numbers - 7 and 8

In one of the Chechen fairy tales, it is said about the young man Sultan, who has been caring for a girl for exactly 8 years. According to Chechen customs, a baby should not be shown a mirror until the age of eight months. In the Vainakh version of the myth of Adam and Eve, the first man and woman went their separate ways to find a mate; Eve said that on her way she crossed eight mountain ranges. The Chechen tradition presupposes that a woman knows eight generations of her maternal and paternal ancestors. A man must know the seven ancestors.

These examples show that the Chechens associate the number 8 with the woman, and the number 7 with the man. The seven consists essentially of ones. The figure eight, consisting of four twos (otherwise - of pairs) reflects motherhood, the principle of generating one's own kind. Thus, digital symbolism shows a special, prevailing place of a woman in society, in comparison with a man, which came from ancient times. This is also emphasized by the well-known Chechen proverb - "A man gets spoiled - the family spoils, a woman spoils - the whole nation spoils."

Chechens attach particular importance to female heredity. So, the expression "mother's language" is used when a person's worthy behavior is noted, and the expression "mother's milk" is used when they are condemned for an unseemly act. To this day, a Chechen has the right to take a wife of any nationality, but a Chechen woman is not encouraged to marry a foreigner.

Mutual assistance, mutual assistance

When meeting each Chechen, the first thing to do is ask: “How is home? Is everyone alive and well? " When parting, it is considered good manners to ask: "Do you need my help?"

The custom of mutual labor assistance is rooted in ancient times. In those days, the harsh living conditions forced the highlanders to unite for agricultural work. The peasants were tied with one rope to mow the grass on the steep slope of the mountain; the whole village reclaimed plots from the mountains for crops. In any misfortune, especially if the family lost a breadwinner, the village took care of the victims. The men did not sit down to the table until some of the food had been taken to the house, where there was no male breadwinner.

Greeting a young person to an older person necessarily includes an offer of help. In Chechen villages, it is customary for an elderly person to start some kind of housework to take part in this as a neighbor. And often it is the volunteers who start the job.

The tradition of mutual support has developed among the people responsiveness to someone else's misfortune. If there is a grief in the house, then all the neighbors open wide the gates, thereby showing that the neighbor's grief is his grief. If someone dies in the village, all fellow villagers will come to this house to express condolences, provide moral support, and, if necessary, financial assistance. Funeral chores for the Chechens are completely taken over by their relatives and fellow villagers. A person who has been absent from the village for some time, upon arrival, receives full information about the events that happened without him, including misfortunes. And the first thing he does when he arrives is to express his condolences.

"Better a neighbor nearby than relatives away", "Than live without human love, it is better to die", "The unity of the people is an invincible fortress," says Chechen wisdom

Hospitality

According to legend, the ancestor of the Chechens Nokhchuo was born with a piece of iron - a symbol of militancy - in one hand and a piece of cheese - a symbol of hospitality in the other. “Where a guest does not come, there is no grace either”, “A guest in the house is joy”, “The longer the guest's path to your house, the more dear this guest” ... Many sayings, legends, parables are dedicated to the sacred duty of hospitality among the Chechens.

Hospitality is especially pronounced in rural life. For the reception of guests in each house there is a "guest room", it is always at the ready - clean, with fresh bedding. Nobody uses it, even children are not allowed to play or practice in this room. The host should always be ready to feed the guest, therefore at any time in the Chechen family they specially set aside food for this case.

For the first three days, the guest is not supposed to ask anything: who is he, why he is granted ... The guest lives in the house as if with the rights of an honorary member of the family. In the old days, as a sign of special respect, the owner's daughter or daughter-in-law helped the guest to take off his shoes and outerwear. The hosts give the guest a cordial welcome at the table. One of the basic rules of Chechen hospitality is to protect the life, honor and property of the guest, even if it is associated with a risk to life.

According to Chechen etiquette, a guest should not offer any admission fee. He can only give a gift to children.

The Chechens have always followed the ancient custom of hospitality. And they showed it to any kind person, regardless of his nationality.

Chechen greeting in direct connection with hospitality. When they greet, they open their arms, that is, they open their hearts, thus expressing purity of thoughts and sincerity in relation to a person.

Adat in modern Chechnya

Adat - from the Arabic "custom" - common law among Muslims, in contrast to the spiritual law - Sharia. The norms of adat were formed under the conditions of dominance of tribal relations (blood feud, twinning, etc.). Adat regulated the life of the community and marriage and family relations. This set of ethical norms, traditions and rules of behavior has been one of the specific forms of organizing social life in Chechnya since ancient times.

The Chechen scientist-ethnographer Said-Magomed Khasiev spoke about the role of adat in the life of modern Chechnya in an article published in the newspaper for the Chechen diaspora "Daimekhkan az" ("Voice of the Fatherland"). CM. Khasiev writes: “There are adats that raise the dignity of a person, helping him to become better. They are opposed by adats, which the Chechens call mountain-pagan (lamkerst). The main part of society does not adhere to them. Here is an example related to a folk legend. Once an abrek (robber, people's defender) Zelimkhan met a woman on a mountain road, seized with grief. The famous abrek asked what had happened. “They took the baby away from me,” the woman replied. Zelimkhan set out on a search and soon saw two men carrying a child in a Circassian coat. For a long time Abrek asked the world to return the child to the mother, conjured with God, parents, ancestors, but to no avail. And when he turned to threats, the men hacked the baby with daggers. For this, Zelimkhan killed them. - According to Chechen adats, one cannot raise a hand not only against a baby, but also against a teenager who has not reached the age of majority, against a woman, or against an old man of retirement age. They don't even enter the circle of revenge. However, those who follow the mountain-pagan adats can even kill a woman in the name of revenge.

Another example is related to folk tradition. We are talking about a horse thief who died after falling from a stolen horse. Mountain-pagan customs prescribe the owner of the horse to be responsible for this death. But real adats emphasize the direct guilt of the deceased himself: the person encroached on someone else's, and therefore his relatives are obliged not only to return the horse, but also to give its owner a gift as a sign of apology.

Examples from the social order. Adats oblige a person to be responsible for order in the area where he lives. One center of his life is the house (hearth), the other is the community center of the settlement (maidan, square). If, for example, a fight takes place on the square, then compensation for damage (material or physical) will be charged the more, the further from the place of the fight the center of the riot participant is located. body.

According to the demands of the adat, a young man who abducts a girl without her consent is obliged to ask if she has a boyfriend whom she would like to marry. If they answer that there is, then the kidnapper sends a message to that person: I took you a bride. Thus, he became a mediator, a friend of the groom. Sometimes between warring families through such an act, reconciliation was achieved, family ties were established.

In Chechen society, there are now people who observe the norms of the traditional adat, and there are those who follow the mountain-pagan customs. This is characterized by theft, arrogance, impudence, the desire to use force. They can steal a girl, abuse her, kill her.

CM. Khasiev believes that now in Chechnya it is necessary to popularize in every possible way the traditional adats, strictly emphasizing their difference from the mountain-pagan customs. This is the path to the restoration of moral and ethical norms in society.

“Recovery will begin only then,” writes SM. Khasiev, - when everyone learns to ask themselves: what have I done today that is good, kind, useful? According to the ancient Chechen belief, every day a person is given a chance nine times to do good and nine times to do evil. Do not even step on a bug on the way, resist a bad word, drive away a bad thought from yourself - on this path you can do good. On this path, a healthy moral and ethical atmosphere of society is being formed. "

In the family circle

Attitude towards elders. The unshakable rule of every Chechen family is respectful attitude and care for the older generation, especially for the parents.

Not only the son, daughter, but also other family members, including grandchildren, take care of the elderly. In Chechen, grandfather is called “big father”, and grandmother is often called “mother”. Children can sometimes disobey, not fulfill the request of their father or mother, and they will be forgiven for this. But it is completely unacceptable to disobey grandfather, grandmother, other older relatives or neighbors.

Not getting up when old people appear or sitting down without their insistent invitation is to demonstrate poor upbringing. Tradition does not allow drinking alcoholic beverages in the presence of parents or any older relatives. You can also not talk with elders in a raised tone or behave cheekily.

If the parents do not live with one of the sons, then the children are emphatically attentive to them: for example, the best products are constantly brought to the parents' house. In rural areas, as a rule, a separate house is erected in the courtyard for the elderly. This is a long-standing custom: there, the elders in the family are provided with the most comfortable living conditions that correspond to their needs and age.

Family responsibilities. Most Chechen families have many children. In addition, several brothers often live in the same yard or in the same village with their families. For centuries, the rules of kinship have been formed. In general terms, they are as follows.

Conflict situations, quarrels of women, children and the like are resolved by an elder man or woman in the yard.

The mother of the children, if offended, should never complain to her husband. As a last resort, she can turn to any relative of her husband. Although it is considered a rule of good form not to pay attention to childhood grievances, quarrels, tears at all.

Chechen children know that it is their uncle who will readily respond to any of their requests and help. He would rather deny something to his child, but without very good reason he will never leave the request of the children of his brothers and sisters unanswered.

The rules of kinship relationships imply duties of the younger towards the elders, and vice versa. The older generation is responsible for strengthening family ties. Parents should maintain an atmosphere of harmony and understanding in the families of their sons. Moreover, special correctness is required in relation to the daughter-in-law. Thus, the father-in-law is obliged to be extremely delicate in relation to the wives of his sons: in their presence it is forbidden to drink alcohol, scold, violate the uniform of clothes adopted in the Chechen family.

Family Honor. It is customary among Chechens to attribute both the merits and shortcomings of an individual to the account of his entire family. An unseemly act will make many relatives “turn black with their faces”, “lower their heads”. And they usually say about decent behavior: “One could not expect anything else from the people of this family” or: “The son of such a father could not have done otherwise.”

Raising children in the spirit of family traditions, the Chechens instill in them the quality of "yagh", which has the meaning of healthy rivalry - in the sense of "being the best." The instructions of the elders sound something like this: “You must have yah. In no case should you be worse than your comrades. Do not give offense to the weak, whoever he is, and do not offend anyone first. "

"When we poured the clandestine wine down the toilet, it turned acid pink."

On October 5, Ramzan Kadyrov turns 40. On the eve of the anniversary, the newly elected head of the Chechen Republic called it “the most stable region” in Europe.

Our special correspondent studied the secret life of Grozny, the capital of Chechnya, having visited a secret alcoholic shop, a nightclub and learned the peculiarities of local gender relations.

One of the main achievements of the hero of the day was the "dry law" introduced by him seven years ago - stricter than that established in 1985 by Mikhail Gorbachev for the entire USSR. In the whole of Chechnya there are only a few shops where alcohol is sold strictly from 8 to 10 in the morning. And yet you can drink here at night, but you cannot raise a toast to the health of the birthday person.

"Don't look into your eyes"

Do not look in the eyes, - the hospitable Chechen Rustam with the beard "under Ramzan" admonished me at the entrance to the post-war symbol of the republic - the Grozny-City skyscraper. On the upper floors of these towers - the only place in the entire republic where alcohol is legally sold not in the morning, but in the afternoon and evening. At night they no longer serve food: the restaurant closes exactly at midnight.

This was arranged for the visitors so that Chechnya would give the impression of a modern, hospitable subject living like the rest of Russia, ”explained my guide. - It has its own laws. Follow them and you will make a good impression on the locals.

The symbol of the restored republic is the Grozny-City skyscrapers.

Most of the rules, of course, are for women. She in Chechnya is considered from the moment of puberty, that is, from the age of 11-12. A woman of any age and social status does not walk here alone - neither at night nor during the day.

A Chechen woman is always under supervision and must be accompanied by someone - a man (he walks in front), another woman, in extreme cases a child, even a baby. Of men, a woman can be accompanied by: husband, brother, father, relative, distant relative, in extreme cases, a respectable long-term family friend, although this is undesirable. A woman cannot have acquaintances of men whom only she knows, especially friends among acquaintances of men.

A man, except for the closest relatives such as a husband or father, should not strictly touch any woman, and a woman - a man. When meeting, Chechen acquaintances, work colleagues, housemates, students of the same educational institution or their parents, if they are of different genders, do not kiss, do not hug, do not slap on the shoulder, do not shake hands.

And what if a woman goes with a man to the mountains, he will not shake hands with her at a dangerous crossing?

Will not give, - snapped Rustam. - Why would a woman go to the mountains at all? This is the business of men, this is a test for the horseman. If she already goes there, then let her also test herself and not wait for help. Would give a hand only if it fell into the abyss, why take a sin on the soul? But even then through force: touching a woman is an insult for her, which means that she is mistaken for a person of easy virtue.

Another prohibition for women - not to look into the eyes of a stranger when communicating - is also asked to observe not only the locals.

At the same time, everyone in Chechnya is very polite, and a woman should be the first to greet any unfamiliar man in a room, for example, in a store. During the greeting, you need to smile and look into the eyes of the passer-by, but only this time. Further, if a stranger asks you what time it is, how to get to the library, or rather, to the mosque, you should answer by modestly looking down.

That's how they live: in the same restaurant in high-rise buildings, a male waiter looks at a female client or a cook, but they don't look at him.

In the very center of Grozny, right opposite the Heart of Chechnya mosque, there is the only place in the whole republic where people pour openly after sunset.

In the evening for women, the dress code is the same as in the daytime: dress and skirts - below the knees, preferably to the floor; sleeve - below the elbow. Trousers are masked with a tunic or a sweater to the knees; it is vulgar to combine them with a blouse. No neckline and bare backs, no neckline is allowed on the back of the skirt. Hairstyle - if not under a scarf, then at least collected, no loose hair.

But in this restaurant, dissolute manners, - continues Rustam - I cannot determine by his look the attitude to "dissolute manners", because I do not look into his eyes.

One of its towers is given over to a hotel - but usually fewer people live in it than visit the restaurant at the very top.

The second tower is a business center, but the offices are mostly empty. The rest are of the type of residential buildings, apartments are all bought out, mostly by officials or those close to the authorities for the appearance of filling 18-40-storey buildings. But practically no one really lives in them: officials have their own ancestral homes, meters in the "City" are needed for show. It was here that Depardieu was presented with an apartment - he sold it and did not appear in the republic again.

Had a French actor stayed, he would have ridden in his tower on a miraculous elevator, which even Arab sheikhs would envy.

The system of use is amazing. Calling one of the four elevators, the passenger is already at the bottom of the press on the number of the desired floor. The system thinks for a few seconds and gives an answer - whether the elevator will come A, B, C or D. This is all so that women and men do not intersect once again: in one trip the elevator serves one client and does not pick up others “on the way”.

The Islam elevator took me to the restaurant, which my accompanying "nest of debauchery" nicknamed. The assortment is wide, but a glass of cheap Krasnodar red dry wine costs as much as a bottle of expensive French champagne.

It is allowed to dance here in a separate area. Dances are only contactless, like Lezginka. Only now, none of the Chechens on the dance floor came off. Visitors from all alcohol modestly ordered wine.

What brand did you take yesterday, you say? Don't remember the picture on the label: a tree or a house? - the senior manager, called by the waiters to help, tried to understand what the guests want. - Was the cork or cap screwed in the bottle?

"Thought there really would be wine?"

Well, for a peaceful sky over Grozny! For the friendship of peoples! - suggested Abdullah, and we clinked glasses of red.

Walking in the hotel restaurant is very expensive and not at all interesting. You won't be able to get drunk and misbehave there - gatherings take place under the supervision of guards armed with machine guns. Therefore, I "moved" out of the complex and found myself Abdullah.

Abdullah (left) and his friends drink red with barbecue - cherry juice.

In Chechnya, a woman does not have the right to get to know a man on her own: only friends or relatives can bring them together, and the purpose of these acquaintances is the same - to create a family. You cannot "just walk" with a man. And before the wedding, all meetings are mandatory in the presence of someone else.

But there is a loophole for girls - the Internet. With the help of the Network, you can make an appointment yourself, without intermediaries. Chechens do not sit on any websites, and all with one goal - to arrange a date.

I found Abdullah through social networks. To look at him in order to decide whether he could trust me, it seemed that the entire Putin Avenue, where my acquaintances live, came out: a woman still has to get permission from those who look after her for a date. After half an hour of questioning, friends of my family let us go.

First, we went to anti-cafe - a fashion for establishments that are popular in big cities, where you pay not for the amount of food eaten and drunk, but for the time spent inside, finally it reached Grozny.

Inside there were desperate battles in paper board games, which are asked to be brought from America on occasion, like jeans used to be. The hit of this fall is the adventure "Africa": with the help of your ingenuity, you need to be the first to compose a certain route along the Black Continent.

Gambling is prohibited, but here we are betting on high stakes, ”the Chechens boasted at the next table. I was not allowed to look at the guys, but their money was allowed. Upon closer examination, they turned out not to be from the Bank of Russia, but from a "joke bank".

In Chechnya, you can play for money, but only with toys. The hit of the season is the adventure "Africa" ​​imported from America.

In all ordinary cafes, the picture is the same: no cigarettes, hookahs, alcohol, games for money. When we walked around all the public catering establishments, Abdullah took me to the most walking place on the very outskirts of Grozny - to the "street of shashliks."

This is one continuous row of barbecue, twenty tents. Shashlik is fried from everything except pork, even camels. And they marinate them in a hundred ways, even in kiwi. Already here, with a barbecue, how not to be under the guilt?

Are you red or white? - in the tent with the sonorous name "Powerful juicy shish kebab" the choice is more interesting than in the "Grozny-city" itself.

Shashlik is fried from everything except pork, even camels. And they marinate them in a hundred ways, even in kiwi.

Red! Dry if you can! - I was delighted.

We have one kind, - the brazier laughed.

Three minutes later, they brought us a jug and glasses for whiskey - they had no wine. We spilled and clinked glasses for the peaceful Grozny and the friendship of peoples. Oh, there’s cherry juice in the glass!

What did you think there would really be wine there? - Abdullah laughed. - No, you can't have it anywhere, even on this street, but sometimes you want to have a barbecue. So they came up with a trick: they pour juice into glasses. Who wants red - cherry, who wants white - grape. Well, we will!

"Here are the slut"

She said that she liked the red balloon so much, oh what they were doing! - Ibrahim spoke tensely, with whom I was brought together by his best friend Abdullah. He recommended him as the most cheeky Chechen in all of Chechnya. If you can find a secret nightlife in Grozny, then only with him.

At 5 pm Ibragim and I were sitting in the most depraved, according to his many years of observation, place in all of Grozny - a restaurant of national Chechen cuisine in the very center of the city, on Putin Avenue. This restaurant was partly ceremonial - delegations and important guests are brought here, as in Grozny-City, but the prices here are several times lower. And no alcohol.

Every now and then a boy walked past the windows with a bundle of red and white balloons. As soon as three loudly laughing Chechen girls in heels and in skirts a millimeter above the knee entered (the minimum allowed; two millimeters above the knee and they can beat out of the car), he went in too. The girls approached the Chechen men who were dining, the boy followed them.

Here are the slut, - Ibrahim commented angrily when he listened to their conversation in Chechen. - One said: "I like the white ball so much." And the other: "Oh, the red ball is so beautiful." And the third ... There are no censorship words! I just asked her to buy a ball! They are still laughing! Laughing a woman in the presence of a man is generally prohibited!

It turned out that in Grozny there are such spy rules of conspiracy that Stirlitz himself would have appreciated. Remember, he drew Professor Pleischner's attention to a prearranged signal - a flower pot?

Chechens have balls. Red, white - it's not important, it's just that these two colors are sold on the market. If a Chechen woman says that she likes the balloon, and even more so if she openly asks to buy it, then she is of light morals. This is almost the only way to get to know each other live (not via the Internet), without intermediaries in the form of relatives or friends. Only through the ball - straight into the open is still prohibited.

The most desperate carnal love is in Chechen women, - Ibrahim shared at a table where, according to him, the shaitan was sitting between us, since where there are only two, there he is.

There is Shaitan, but there is no sex. At all. In Chechnya, this word is prohibited. Even Ibrahim did not say it, who confessed, looking at the debauchery in a cafe, that at 33 he himself meets six (!) Women at the same time and all are someone's second or third wives, so they do not have enough male attention. Men have two extremes in this regard - here Abdullah, at 37, is waiting for his only one and observes chastity ...

Men sat along the entire Putin Avenue on folding stools and skullcaps. When we passed by, one of them got up, stepped in our direction and waved right in front of my nose with a weighty bundle of five thousandth bills. The most real, and not like in an anti-cafe.

This is our currency exchange, - suggested Ibrahim. - There are also exchangers, but the locals change the old way - on the street. It's fair and safe here. And the course is good. In general, the whole city in the evening is probably the safest in Russia: zero crime.

In Moscow, ATMs are only in buildings, here - right in the middle of the street, unsecured by anyone, under the cover of a visor from a former telephone booth or mailbox.

Therefore, I was not at all scared when in the gateway we saw about twenty bearded young Chechens sitting. They jumped up from their stools. They had no bundles of banknotes in their hands.

These people have no money at all, ”Ibrahim whispered. - This is the local labor exchange. A lot of young people in the republic are unemployed. They sit all day on stools in the hope that someone from the market will give them a task - to unload the goods there ...

In all of Grozny, there are only two secret shops where alcohol is dispensed after sunset. One of them is in the microdistrict where Ibrahim lives. We made our way to him in dark, secret nooks.

Here we have a brothel, ”Ibrahim showed, waving his hand at an inconspicuous café by the side of the road.

So there we need it! - never before have I been so close to the secret Chechen nightlife.

Mad, or something, - my companion was indignant.

It turned out that a brothel in Chechnya is not called a brothel at all (there are none here - neither explicit nor secret), but a place where a man and a woman can meet without a boy with a ball.

A waitress in a cafe or a car wash at the car wash imperceptibly writes her phone number on the check - and that's all, consider it yours, since there are no other reasons for acquaintance, except for joy, they don't just get to know each other here, '' Ibrahim revealed the scheme, which and I used it myself more than once.

We reached an ordinary grocery store (there are no supermarkets in Grozny either), and for the first time Ibrahim asked me to be quiet and not ask unnecessary questions:

If, because of you, our last outlet is closed, I will redo, ”he joked.

The store was completely conspiratorial: inside - the usual rows with all kinds of goods, a sleepy cashier. Ibrahim said something quietly in Chechen, and the owner came out. He invited us to go through the white door, which seemed to lead to a warehouse ...

We entered, the white door was immediately closed behind us. Inside it was guarded by two Chechens, and I felt that we would definitely not leave here without shopping ... The assortment was really for every taste. On endless shelves from floor to ceiling - boxes of vodka, beer, whiskey, wine and ... And that's all.

Exotics, like tequila, do not hold - they do not take, - the owner shrugged his shoulders.

The prices are democratic: a bottle of vodka - 100 rubles, beer - 50, whiskey - 2500, wine - 250. We took a Georgian semi-sweet - there was no other.

While we were trying to find dry red in an underground liquor store, the Chechen owner stood on the watch

The owner carefully wrapped the bottle in several black bags, although there are no cameras anywhere in the shops in Grozny. At the checkout, we just said what's inside. The cashier did not check, and the owner was no longer around: in secret liquor stores, everything is on trust and a check is not issued.

"After the second sip, I began to choke."

Come on, do it, - Murad looked expectantly and nodded approvingly: they say, be bolder. Ibrahim blocked the retreat from behind and gestured towards his cousin. When I did what they wanted, my eyes went dark ...

They forced me to shake Murad's hand. For four days in Grozny, not a single man touched me, I did not look any of them in the eyes - and now I felt like a waitress or a washer who wrote her number on the check.

Murad asked for forgiveness and explained that in Vienna, where he, having become a refugee thirteen years ago, lives and studies to become a lawyer, everyone does this - they shake hands, look into each other's eyes. They even hug, although he himself did not try.

To drink wine from a secret liquor store, Ibrahim took me to his cousin Murad, who lives alone: ​​“secret nightclubs” in Grozny, if they do, are not in entrances, not in attics or basements, but in apartments. But they are really secret - no one takes pictures there, they don't advertise their pastime on social networks - it's forbidden to drink openly.

Chechens, if they want to break away, go to Pyatigorsk, ”Ibrahim revealed all his cards. - This is the most depraved city in the entire Caucasus, everything is possible there.

To admit, many would like to live in a secular way in Chechnya, but Ramzan does not allow, - added Murad. - There are many refugees like me in the republic who grew up during the Chechen wars in Europe and saw what life was like there. I come to my native Grozny for two or three months a year - to visit my relatives. I have three uncles, three aunts and a grandmother here. Of course, I miss the European nightlife, Grozny is dreary.

Let them be unwritten, but still there will be laws, ”objected Ibrahim.

To heighten the debauchery, we turned on a music channel, which showed modern video clips. Wriggling half-naked girls in Chechnya look completely different in the presence of Chechens. This is the TV maximum allowed here, and this is the usual MUZ-TV for us, not in the public domain, but on a paid satellite dish. The porn channels are even blocked on them.

While Ibrahim hotly commented on what he saw, Murad was looking for something to discover the Georgian semi-sweet. Even such European Chechens were not used to drinking - there was simply no corkscrew in his house. We pushed the cork with our fingers and a ballpoint pen.

What wine, such a corkscrew

It was impossible to drink - after one sip my stomach cramped, after the second I began to choke. Ibrahim determined with an experienced glance that, most likely, it was a fake, synthetic.

Yeah, - that's all Murad said. “Okay, I’ll bring you something stronger and safer.”

Ten minutes later, he returned with two teapots - a teapot and one for boiling water. Yes, in Grozny, as far as I understood, there are no electric kettles: it is believed that a woman should not leave the stove while cooking something on it, not even tea, and this should not make life easier for the hostess.

When we poured the wine down the toilet, it turned acid pink.

Over tea, Murad complained that he kept a hookah, bought in Vienna, in his house, but his friends stole it - they stole everything except one hose.

The only place in the city where you could smoke a hookah was the Damascus cafe on Rosa Luxemburg Street, but it was closed long ago, ”Ibrahim recalled. - And Kadyrov personally closed the sauna with the girls. We inherited it from Khankala, a Russian military base.

Apart from wine, the rest of our "secret nightclub" at Murad's apartment was decent: we sat at different ends of the room, did not dance, did not laugh.

Could I come here wearing a miniskirt? - asked the guys.

You wouldn’t have come and gone, ”they said without hesitation. - Yes, and at home we would not let you change clothes: we love women, but we do not want them to behave in our presence as in a cafe on Putin Avenue. Laughing in the presence of men, a skirt above the knees is out of the question.

Would you allow a Chechen woman to drink like me?

Not! Never! - brothers started up. - A drinking woman is a shame! We allowed you only because you are not ours, not a Chechen, because you yourself asked me to buy this wine. If I hadn't asked, we would never have offered it to you in our life. Therefore, in fact, we have neither secret nor overt nightclubs: women have nothing to do there, and without them it is not interesting. And do not forget that it is still impossible to get acquainted without intermediaries, and the main goal of any nightclub is to get to know each other.

For the second time in the evening, I felt like a girl asking to buy a balloon.

But there is no rape in Chechnya, ”Murad changed the subject.

It’s not true, ”Ibrahim disagreed. - There are cases, but they do not reach the police, they are outstripped by the law of blood feud. If a Chechen woman is raped, her relatives will force her to either marry or pay off. If it turns out that she was a virgin, they will immediately kill.

We quickly finished our tea - at exactly 23.00 I had to be returned home, this is the extreme time until which a woman is allowed to walk in Chechnya. On the way, Ibrahim asked me to chew gum: if the Chechens, friends of my family, smelled that I smelled of alcohol, albeit synthetic, they would not be allowed on the doorstep.

Returning from the most uncrowded and decent "nightclub" in my life, I kept thinking what they do at night, these Chechens, if everything, absolutely everything is forbidden here, and alcohol is made from acetone.

Rustam is raising two sons, Abdullah is nursing his nephew and dreams of his own daughter, Ibrahim and Murad are also busy.

Somehow officials calculated that the birth rate in Grozny is twice the national average, and in Chechnya the same number of children are born per year as in St. Petersburg. Although the city on the Neva is five times more populous than the chaste republic.

A good discussion on the topic here http://ponyat.ru/issue/b801-chechen-i-russkaya-devushka.html
Here's the start of a discussion ...

Chechen and Russian girl

he is Chechen I am Russian what future do I have with him ?? his mom really wants me to be his wife !!

Responses of site visitors: Chechen and Russian girl

BERRY (Eagle)

Important - Mutual understanding ------ the nation has nothing to do with ...

Petso (Khimki)

for true love there are no barriers, if you don’t believe and doubt him don’t poison his soul, just say no

I'm the only one (Novosibirsk)

honey, you are very lucky !!! the main thing is the blessing of the parents =)))

pulka (Moscow)

Oh, they have a completely different mentality, these are oriental men. Of course, it's up to you to decide, but I'm actually afraid of such brks .... not enough ...

(**** Adilya ****) (Magnitogorsk)

Honestly? You are very happy that your young man's MOTHER wants you to become the wife of her son! You know, I almost fell off my chair when I read it)))) This is a great rarity when everything turns out like this. I have a beloved person, Lezgintak, his mother is against the Russian daughter-in-law, although I am of the same faith with him. You know, Chechens are a proud and temperamental people, if your young man adheres to the traditions of his people, then you better study them, and even better learn the Chechen language))) My friend is now learning the Chechen language)))) The attitude towards women is also a little different than the Russians but respectful, I can say for sure!

Yagodkina (Nalchik)

Future? Eat separately from men and serve the men’s table first. And then go for your own. And run constantly and give and clean. They are very restrained towards children. Think. Of the Muslims, the Chechens are the most insidious and cruel.
http://www.christianbook.ru/lib/braksmus.html
http://www.pravaya.ru/idea/20/9599
These are links about a woman in Islam.
http://www.radonezh.ru/all/gazeta/?ID=497&forprint Muslim laws.

Chechen and a thief in law are an explosive mixture.

Source: I would not give my daughter for a Chechen.

Natalia (Perm)

for Chechens .. to marry a Russian .. is a rarity ... maybe this is really true love .. and if mom agrees .... you need to accept Islam ... in practice, I have never seen Russian wives from my Chechen acquaintances. .. Russians have a completely different view of the family

In a relationship (Nizhny Novgorod)

If he is a Muslim, are you not afraid that he might take a second wife?

Colipso (Bryansk)

You can go out in Russia calmly, but don't even think about leaving for his homeland. Unless, of course, he is the eldest of the children, because Muslims have the eldest son as a father and, accordingly, the daughter-in-law is the mistress of the situation

BESTIA-STAR ANTARESA (St. Petersburg)

mom wants ?? and what do you want ??

Julia (Cheboksary)

Well, still .. registration in Moscow did not bother anyone .. give it ten times .. it will be hard for you

rex (No city)

fool! you have not written yet that you are a fool! Ours will come and kill all the black ones and your bastards !!!

Andrey (Without a city)

When choosing a husband, a white woman also chooses the nationality of her future children. Why don't you think about it?

Mika (No city)

I'm also in love with a Chechen, no one is to blame, that the Russian martyrs are weak in spirit. For something behind him like in a tank)))

Ekaterina (Without city)

I'm going to marry a Chechen. But it turned out the opposite, my parents are against this marriage, and on the contrary, they are glad of me. His mother calls me her daughter. says that I am a Vainashechka. was in their family and I can say that everything depends on the person, not the nation. Women are highly respected and respected. For the mother, sister, beloved, even if they just raised their voice to her, they will lay their heads. Honoring the elders, at the same time that they wrote that they don't sit at the table with men, be the first to set the table, it's true, but the problem with us is that Russians are also essentially accepted, that's why the girl marries her HUSBAND! then there is everything for him, everything for his sake. This is how it happened in modern times. When you are at home alone with him, behave as you want, but in the presence of his friends, and especially the elders, you need to behave as a real Chechen woman should. And no one should wear a burqa. Headband and skirt below the knee. Modest such a girl as she should be. So, only those who are used to a riotous and selfish lifestyle are afraid of this. If you love, you are NOT AFRAID of ANYTHING. See him as a loved one, not as a Chechen.

Doesn't matter (No city)

I also love a Chechen and he loves me and I think this is quite normal. As he answered my question when I asked him whether love between us is possible, he said in love all people are the same, regardless of the nation

mikhail (no city)

Look at how these jackals cut our children’s heads! Inhumans, they all burn in hell for their evil! And you don’t know what they teach their children from an early age !!!

mikhail (no city)

If I had my will, I would create a second Hiroshima out of this fucking churkmenia of Chechnya to equalize them all the shitty shepherds, well fucking learned how to wipe their black ass with paper, and then for centuries they plugged the shameful saxaul with their finger!

Marina (Without city)

There are so many different people, and many different opinions. Do you know what you want? The forbidden fruit is sweet. Fortunately or unfortunately, we were raised with hatred of Chechens. It’s difficult to accept Muslim just to be with him. .You yourself must want it. They take away the woman, but do not forget, you will have to give up a lot - the beach, candy with alcohol, arguing and much more. Yes, it is easy to give up a lot. If you are still very young. But when you had too much freedom , then this is almost unbelievable. In my case, I am soberly all sassy, ​​we are only lovers. Yes, I don’t have anything to lose. I’m independent from anyone. I decide my own decisions. I’m a Belarusian, soon I’ll become an Austrian. I love a Chechen. But how many men, has already broken hearts and how many more will break. Glad for those who from the very beginning everything went right and smoothly. Finally, I still want to say about Russian men. Not all, but very many. who are looking for brides with a dowry, beauty spiritual and external great role for them does not play. Rich guardians, yes! And this ru Russian men. Well, the Chechens, in principle, they do not conceal what exactly they want from you. The choice of licks is yours.

amina (Without city)

I love a Chechen, even though he is married. He did so much for me, and I’m a fool in bed with him. And now it’s not like that. I converted to Islam, he gave me a name, prayers in Arabic in syllables like with a child. Now I have everything, live and be happy. And he still helps, only he will never be respected. Yes, and I will not. And that's who is to blame for the accursed Russian mentality and vryatli in Christianity, lust is also a mortal sin. Only he will not forget and I will not forget and you cannot glue a broken cup.

Mystery (No city)

I am a child (!), 47 years old, mixed marriage, official. Mom was Russian, dad was Chechen. After six years, the parents separated, the reason was not in different nationalities. Nevertheless, all my life I communicated with my father, I communicate with relatives (however, they are all very educated and civilized: three higher educations, academic degrees, etc.). Looking at some of the fathers of my Russian friends, it was even a pity for them (endless drunkenness, scuffle, etc. negative moments) And I have loving parents, even if they do not live together, an intelligent attitude. I think. that I'm happy. Moreover, I will say that I communicate with my second wife and their children. We have a good relationship. So every nation has its own heroes and freaks. But life did not work out for my parents, not for me. Chechens are very fond of and never abandon their children. So at least leave a normal fate for your children. And the deceased mother was the initiator of the divorce, built a dizzying career, and before her death she said that my father was the most decent man in her life, she did not consider and did not appreciate this in her youth. Love works wonders. Of course, it is necessary to study the traditions of the people (they are of very high moral characteristics), to reckon with the opinion of a man. If you agree to everything, then a very positive marriage can even turn out. I don’t know about faith, during the period of the USSR the question was not so acute, both parents were ardent communists. Today, no one is trying to lure me into Islam. I didn't even notice such attempts. Once again I apologize to all site visitors. Perhaps I am very lucky in life, I am just an exception to the rule. Why don't you build an exception too. After all, one positive example is already someone's life, fate ... Good luck to all Russian girls who decided to associate their lives with "infidels" with the fight. Your chosen one should be the best !!!

Good day to all! I'm a Chechen! My name is Kheda, I was born and raised, I have been living in Chechnya all my life! My father is a Mountain Chechen, and my mother is Russian. I want to say right away that I have never talked with guys of my own nation, my brothers would have simply killed me for that. I want to talk about our Vainakhs, as our guys often communicate with girls of other nations, deceive them. You know, I really hurt for the girls, I swear when I see how our men treat them. I'm not talking about all Chechens, I'm talking about the majority. There are many stories on the forum where Russian girls communicated with Chechens, tolerated character for years, even forgave assault, and then these guys married their Chechens and broke the hearts of the girls. Girls, my dears, I ask you, you shouldn't waste your nerves on a Chechen. Not a single guy is worth it to forgive beatings, betrayal ... It's just that our guys, they rarely take Slavic women seriously, most of them just fool the girls' heads ... In some cases, our guys do not marry a Vainashka. And they lie that "parents are against" and that "my parents married me." Nobody else forcibly marries guys. This has not been there for a long time. Guy, ram, do you think you can take him and marry him ?! Even a girl is rarely married off by force, and there is no such thing about guys at all. It's just a standard excuse when a guy hangs noodles for a Russian girl!
The second point is that guys allow themselves to raise their hand against a woman. For me, this is generally unforgivable. If the guy, meeting with the Vainashka, even touched her with a finger, they would have buried him alive! Such things are not forgiven with us. After the wedding, it may be like this, although there is also a possibility that if the brothers find out, they will take the girl home and beat him themselves! If our guys behave this way towards you, do not allow it. You shouldn't forgive, people like that, they don't change. Once he raised his hand, he does not respect either you or your family, and such a person should not be forgiven, and even more so then dream of marrying him. RUN.
Don't let anyone treat you like that, my advice to you. If a guy loves you, he will marry, although the whole world will be against it. And if he excuses himself, raises his hand, cheats on you, then he doesn't love you. And you shouldn't waste your nerves, your health on such a man. Believe me, girls, you are at home alone, but there are many guys and you will find yourself worthy.
My opinion is that it is better to go out for your nation, because yours is always closer. If you marry a Vainakh guy or just a Muslim, you will have to completely rebuild your life. What is normal for a Russian is not normal for a Chechen and vice versa. Are you ready for the sake of your loved one to change the religion in which you grew up? Change your whole lifestyle? Leave old habits? It is very very difficult, I know, since my mother is Russian and I saw how she suffered for her life, I would not wish one such fate!
Now I'll tell you why I think so.
My mom got married at 17. I met my father when she was 15. Dad was 26 when they met. He worked in the city where my mother lived. I came, saw her, fell in love. Mom was very beautiful, and now she is beautiful! Light, naturally blonde, her hair was very long curly and her eyes were huge blue, with a purple tint. Well, just like a doll, I sometimes envy even when I look at her pictures in my youth. My dad was an athlete, all his life he was engaged in wrestling, tall, strong, dark-haired, brown eyes. Before his mother he was married and he had a son, he has a difficult character, so his first wife (a Chechen woman) did not tolerate it, she left! Mom went to school, dad saw her by chance and went after her, he looked after her very beautifully, gave flowers and gifts. Mom fell in love with him, because she had not communicated with anyone before him, and then such a man began to look after, a wealthy, athlete. Her parents (my grandmother and grandfather) were very against their relationship, because dad is 10 years older, and besides, he is not Russian. They were afraid for their daughter. They said that he would take a walk and leave, they would not let him attend meetings, they closed his houses - everything was useless. Mom jumped out through the first floor window and went on dates anyway. Her father even beat her hard to keep her at home. When dad found out about this, he came to talk to my grandfather so that he would not touch my mother anymore, but my grandfather did not even let him on the threshold of the house. As a result, my father had to go back and he stole my mother to marry her when she was leaving school. He just threw him into the car and took him to Grozny. There were many proceedings later with the police, my father was put on the wanted list, but he still did not give my mother away. I brought it to my parents (they all lived together in a big house). Of course, his parents were against, very much against, even told him to return the girl home and promised to find him a good Chechen woman, but dad was adamant.
As a result, my mother was accepted, she got married, converted to Islam. At first it was very difficult for her, because she was quite a girl, and her mother-in-law was unhappy and hated her. Even once my father's mother locked my mother in the basement in winter so that she would freeze, but then she felt ashamed. Father did not let my mother go to study further, he closed the house. She very much regretted that she had married her father, he was jealous of her, did not allow her to go out alone, once my mother went to the store without a scarf, and the neighbors saw it. When dad found out, he hit her. Even when they were invited to the wedding, and my mother went out to dance, he hit her for it later at home. He said one more time she would do that and he would kill her. Many of them are very jealous Chechens, owners. If mine means mine. So they think. Mom forgot to wear trousers, began to wear only yuki below the knee and dresses on the floor. All the neighbors discussed her, due to the fact that she is Russian, they talked a lot of bad luck about my mother, invented gossip!
They even wanted to marry my father to a Chechen woman again, although he was already married to my mother, they were just brazenly trying to get in touch with someone. And one person (a Chechen) almost hung herself on his neck, although she knew that she was married. Mom has suffered a lot from all people, ruined her health. She got married and endures her father and my dad all her life. They have a very different mentality, and my mother was brought up differently than a Chechen, which for us normally seemed strange to her. Perhaps, if her father had not taken her away by force, her life would have turned out differently. He really broke her life, and he himself could have been much happier without all these problems if he had listened to his parents and married a Chechen woman!
Mom raised his son from his first marriage, and gave birth to three more children. I have a younger sister and brother. I really love my family, and I am glad that my parents are such wonderful people, but I really think that if they were not so stubborn, they could be much happier!
We, their children, grew up seeing scandals, seeing the assault in the family and the mother-in-law's disrespect for the daughter-in-law! Had a Chechen mother been in the place of a Chechen mother, Vainashka, my father would not have behaved like that with her, because he would have known about the consequences! My dad always says that he will kill the one who touches me with even a finger, but he himself treats my mom like that.
I hope this story will be instructive for many Russian beauties who communicate with Vainakhs! Girls, I beg you, think, it's really very difficult, do you really wish yourself such a fate ?! It will be much easier with a guy of your nationality, trust me, my good ones. I wish every girl only good, my gold. Think a hundred times before tying yourself in a relationship and even more so by marriage with a Muslim man.