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New statuses about pregnancy. The most beautiful pregnancy statuses for expectant mothers

Waiting for the birth of a baby is an amazing state, overwhelmed with emotions. Therefore, both the woman herself and her family and friends, of course, need to post statuses about pregnancy in their social networks. These statuses can express interesting behavior, unusual preferences and sudden changes in the mood of the one who carries the baby under the heart.

Funny statuses about pregnancy

Of course, without humor anywhere. Therefore, take note of the following statuses, which will definitely be able to find their place on the pages "Vkontakte", "Odnoklassniki" and other social networks.

My friend started to get better

And they lie on the couch all day

She also fights with her belly.

And all because the kids are at home there.

I eat herring with chocolate

Jellied meat with marmalade,

Borscht with cake,

Radish cookies

Because in the belly

I have a baby.

Someone will say that I am strange.

I don’t know what I want.

I’ll answer, no, it’s not like that,

I just want a sandwich

I season with sausage,

Apple and dried apricots,

And also jam, cheese,

To make it taste sweet.

Do not think you are bad

It's just that my baby lives in the tummy.

I asked my husband for a cake

So that it does not become sad.

But while he is in the store,

I want cabbage.

And then I want herring

Sweet sticks, honey.

He pleases all the time

Because the darling knows

What a baby I'm waiting for.

There are different tastes.

From the desire for sweet tears run over.

And while I'm in the store, I already need an orange.

The baby dictates tastes to me, and then sits, savoring.

Pregnancy statuses: beautiful, filled with emotions

Of course, women in position are overwhelmed with emotions. Therefore, sometimes they really need to read the statuses about pregnancy, from which a tear will come, and they will fully understand their condition. Consider the following options. Deep and meaningful pregnancy statuses:

In anticipation of a miracle, I will not harm myself.

I will begin to eat everything useful

Listen to lovely music.

I will study all books and magazines,

Those in which they write about children.

And then I will sit quietly and listen to my blood.

I studied all the sites,

I read rhymes in them,

I learned fairy tales too

Songs of sonorous souls.

And now I sit, sing,

And I'm waiting for the baby.

I dress out of fashion

And as it is convenient for the stomach,

Because its inhabitant,

I value it very much.

So as not to shake his house,

No elastic bands, no belts

Jump into a vest dress

And I'll go for a walk in silence.

About pregnant women in verse

Of course, statuses about pregnancy - "in anticipation of a miracle", these are not only short or rhymed sayings. You can present whole poems about this position.

A leg popped out on my stomach.

Oh, and this leg wants to run along the path.

But while sitting in me, daughter or son

Sometimes knocking me out the rhythms of days and nights.

There, in the tummy, it's warm, and you can clearly see

When mommy is awake

He values ​​every second

While she carries in herself,

Home of the most beloved creature on Earth.

Although sometimes strange women are pregnant,

But this oddity was given to them from above, probably.

So that evil is not noticed, the nervous system was protected.

And when the crumb appeared, they were fully aware of it.

Wonder women and their behavior in poetry

Pregnancy with sarcasm or peppercorns. You should also pay attention to them.

I bought a test today,

And the felt-tip pen is red

I'll draw two stripes

To hide the fears.

Let me offer my hand

She will call you in marriage.

And a beautiful bride

Then he will name.

I got up early today

Ironed again

All diapers, undershirts,

The bed that I was going to make.

I iron all the clothes again

I check the clasps

Because very soon,

I will see my baby.

The fees have been going on for a month,

Thinking on a trip?

Yes, almost right,

But on the journey I need:

Diapers, napkins, pipettes,

Bottles, nipples, sliders, booties,

Envelope, cream, powder, saucers,

Oh, how can I not dodge

Do not forget everything that is on the list

When I go to the hospital.

And also, statuses about pregnancy, in anticipation of the most emotional meeting, can be short.

I went to the hospital, I'll come back as a mother.

Today I put together a package that will give a ticket to the hospital.

Diapers, nappies, nipples, booties, of course clothes, and candy for yourself.

Soon my husband will walk under the windows, mom, dad and grandmother too,

Because I will give birth to someone who is dearer to everyone than life.

A boring, dull, monotonous life, it will end very soon,

Only you hold on.

Little, cute, pretty lump,

I don’t know, my daughter is sitting there or my son.

But I feel a soft, tender little body

Who knows where to go.

Express your emotions and communicate your feelings. It's so sweet and sensual.

The best pregnancy statuses on Statuses-Tut.ru! The most beautiful thing in a woman's life can be considered the moment when she finds out that she is pregnant. And if the child is long-awaited, then the joy is doubled. This well-known phrase "You will have a child" overturns the minds of both women and her men. Some of the superstitions hide their interesting position, but there are others, and most of them, who are happy to inform all those close to them about it. Just choose beautiful pregnancy statuses and post them on your VKontakte or Odnoklassniki page. Very often, pregnancy is perceived as a heavy burden, both literally and figuratively. Going to the doctor alone is worth something! And these problems with weight, unstable hormonal background, edema, heaviness in the legs, frequent mood swings. And there are legends about the taste preferences of expectant mothers. Tears for any reason! But real men put up with all the whims of a pregnant wife. What can you do, such is nature! If your beloved wife is in a position, post cool statuses about pregnancy on your page on social networks! Please be patient, this is only nine months!

Interesting quotes about pregnancy with a second child!

Deciding today for a second child is not easy. Not every family is ready for new moral and material expenses. They can be understood. And there are those mothers and fathers for whom the appearance of a second and even a third baby is a great happiness. Children should always be welcome, especially if you've been waiting for a second child. Statuses about pregnancy with a second child are interesting quotes for future parents about new opportunities and achievements in their loving family. You and your husband came to the doctor's appointment, today you will know for sure the gender of your child. You are in anticipation, still, you already have two wonderful sons, now you should definitely have a daughter. Mom's helper, dad's beauty, grandma's clever, grandfather's baby. And here is the moment of truth! Girl, daughter, baby! Go to Statuses-Tut.ru and choose statuses about pregnancy with a girl, let all your family and friends know - dreams come true!

Statuses about pregnancy with a son from a beloved man!

Expectant parents are often asked a tricky question: "Who do you want more, a boy or a girl?" And we have to get out - we don't care, there will be a boy, next time we will follow the girl, the child's health is more important, the girl is also good. But everyone knows that if the first child in a family, then for most men it should be a boy. For the mother, the gender of the baby is often not important; for her, first of all, the child's health is a priority. And what difference does it make who is born. The main thing is that this child is from a beloved man! If you and your husband know for sure that you will have a boy, statuses about pregnancy with a son are for you. Go to Statuses-Tut.ru and choose the most touching quotes about pregnancy with a boy.

Pregnancy for a woman is God's providence, pregnancy for a man is a test of the sincerity of feelings ...

There is a big difference between flew in and got pregnant!

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

Truly happy is the girl who carries under her heart a child conceived by a man.

Make it a rule to terminate pregnancy during the period.

Nothing spoils a woman like a man.

Classic pregnancy quotes

A real family begins with the birth of a child ...

Unfortunately, reproductive physiology is such that it is necessary to make contact.

When she comes out, pinch her nose, and I will blow into her mouth, the child will jump out of her.

The Ultimate Classic Pregnancy Quotes

Before you get pregnant, you have to get married so that someone is obliged to have sex with you!

And me, today, they kicked and jumped all night ... What an interesting feeling when someone lives inside you :)

I am pregnant! - I don't remember that we ... - You were drunk! “I don’t remember getting so drunk!”

Nowadays, on the bus, only another pregnant woman can give way to a pregnant woman.

Children are flowers of life. How I want this bouquet for myself ...

The only bright spot was the cheerful pink poster and the caption above: "Pregnancy is the natural state of a woman." It turns out that until now I have been in the unnatural ?!

It's so cool in the morning to wake up with peace of mind, with love in your heart, with light music in your head and with a tiny life inside ...

The first pregnancy is for the wedding. The second is for money. The third - wanted. Fourth, fifth and subsequent ones - let them run, it's a pity or something.

Pregnancy is a virus that is spread by men, but only women are sick.

With my taste preferences, I'm generally afraid to take. Perhaps I want wool or machine oil. Or take Bulgaria.

No, Thomas. I'm not pregnant. - Thank God! With your ears and my face, our children will not be envied.

Happy classic pregnancy quotes

I’m even curious what it’s like to know that you’ll soon become a father? Was Tom pissing in his pants with fear or was he just confused?

When we quarreled with your dad (and we quarreled mainly because it seemed to me that he did not correctly solve my whimsical charades, which means - oh, horror! - does not love me), he ran out for a breath of air, choking from an acute lack of words. And I wrapped my hands over you over the belly ball and sadly complained that, behold, they do not understand us, they do not love us, and we are left alone, but we will not abandon each other, never, and will always understand without further ado ... Your dad came back, put a flowering branch of cherry plum in front of us, and said his meek "Forgive me."

When I grow up and learn, I will write a movie about real childbirth. About how everything really happens here. Very famous actors will be filming there, this is important. It is necessary that everyone knows what it is to give birth to a person. Maybe if we knew more about this side of complex human life, if we did not consider it only a female attraction - then there would be fewer wars?

The most powerful adrenaline rush is not a roller coaster, but waiting for the result of a pregnancy test!

A child is a message from God made with love.

When a woman is about to give birth, nature does something with her, surrounds her with some kind of aura, gives her a special appeal ...

Luxury Classic Pregnancy Quotes

Having crossed the threshold of motherhood, I suddenly became public property, the animated equivalent of a public park. This cutesy expression "You now eat for two, dear" perfectly conveys the fact that even your dinner is no longer your business. Indeed, when the land of the free has mastered the methods of coercion, the expression "You now eat for us" implies that two hundred and something million who are poking their noses all over the place will begin to object if you want to eat a donut with jam, rather than a full dinner of organic products and vegetables, which includes all five main food groups.

Girls, who wrote in blood in the toilet "Hurray, I'm not pregnant!"?

Pregnant women have a special energy, they radiate warmth.

They say that in order for a man to feel what pregnancy is, he needs to tie 1.5 kg of cereal to each leg, give a sleeping pill, a diuretic and tie something like a belly to his belt, and send him to work!

Do you want to be the father of my child? - What? - Just give me the sperm.

Andrei was affectionate with her, called her blood, at first they did not think about the children, they just lived next to each other, enjoying their closeness, and nothing more. A child could even hinder this happiness. But then, somehow, surreptitiously, just because there was a danger of disrupting the eternal order of family hassle, anxiety arose from somewhere that was initially avoided and feared, now they began to watch - will it or not? Months passed, nothing changed, and then the expectation turned into impatience, then into fear.

If you have ever seen the eyes of a happy pregnant woman, then you will agree with me that no diamonds can compare with the beautiful sparkle of these eyes!

Why is it necessary to become ugly in order to give birth to a new creature?

In general, pregnant women are usually treated as feeble-minded. Like, a normal person will not reach such a ridiculous state.

Humorous classic pregnancy quotes

He moved, the child moved! - Oh my God! - No, wait ... No, the elastic on the panties was torn.

Emilien, I'm in position! - But how? - The wind blew. I forgot to close the window.

The little daughter came to her father and asked the little one: "Two stripes - okay?" Dad felt bad.

And I had no idea that the contemplation of a pregnant woman is so calming - as soon as I enter the subway car, all the guys sitting down fall asleep ...

Yeah .. pregnancy is such a thing: it is affectionate and loving, then ... - Cruel, vengeful and castrating? - Well, I wanted to say "capricious" ... - Well, everything is still ahead.

You are a sailor, I am a sailor. You are a fisherman, I am a fisherman. You're on land, I'm on the sea, How did you get pregnant?

The girl decided to inform her husband about her pregnancy in an original way - she renamed her name on her husband's phone to the name "Stork", and in the morning, when her husband left for work, she sent him an SMS: "I already flew out ... I'll be there in about 8 months. .. Wait ")))

I am pregnant. - Are you pregnant with a child? - How long have you sniffed these markers? Of course a child!

The ultrasound showed that they will have ... WEDDING!

The whole time I was pregnant with Kevin, I fought against the very idea of ​​Kevin, with the belief that I had demoted myself, from a driver to a car, from a landlord to a house.

Now everyone is getting married "on-the-fly", but I don't want that ... But I want my beloved to marry me not because she is pregnant, but because he loves me and cannot live without me for a second ...

My girl has a bun in the oven, and I guess you know who the damn baker is.

There is no more valuable and more careful gift from a loved one than a new little heart beating inside you!

It is not a sin to envy when girls take tampons in front of you at the pharmacy, and you get a pregnancy test.

Not a single guy can understand - 3 minutes are expensive when you expect to be given a pregnancy test.

Best status:
- My dear dear cat, a tummy grows from love. In it, baby, such a paw will squeak and say "DAD".

- Darling, please, give me three magic words that connect the hearts of lovers forever. - I'm pregnant, darling!

It's time to buy a red marker, a pregnancy test, and get ready for your wedding!

- Man, are you pregnant? !! Behave like a capricious pregnant lady!

- I pay great attention to your words? - Well, what are you, no, not every day I hear from a man: "Your task is to give birth to my child!"

There is no cargo more valuable and precious in the world than a small coveted toddler in a mother’s tummy.

Every peasant has known from time immemorial that in order for a goose or turkey to get fat for the New Year, it is hung in a net and force-fed. In other words, he is deprived of the ability to move, and fed for slaughter. And in 2-3 weeks it is ready.

The inscription on the hospital: hey, gay, stray!

Selling pregnancy test ... positive

I went out into the fresh air to work up my appetite. And, judging by the belly, she walked up. - A.V. Ivanov

- my rabbit. - Yes my Sunshine! - and when we will have sunbeams

In order not to feel sick from many people around you, you can get pregnant and then you will feel sick from one thing - Evgeny Khankin

Envy is when you buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy, and the girl in front of you has tampons

Calendar reform does not shorten pregnancy. - Stanislav Jerzy Lec

It's so cool when your boyfriend says to you: "Dress warmly, you still have my children to give birth!"

Desirable gum is gum stuff. - A.V. Ivanov

A Catholic woman is already allowed to avoid pregnancy with mathematics, but it is strictly forbidden to resort to chemistry or physics. - Henry Louis Mencken

... Girls live in a world of fears. They are afraid to never get pregnant and are afraid to fly in ...

The inscription at the entrance to the Chinese maternity hospital: Enough !!!

The safest way to protect yourself is by mouth. - A.V. Ivanov

Virtual communication leads to immaculate conception and the birth of children with avatar faces and nicknames. - Elena Ermolova

You don't really know a guy until you ask him to put on a condom. - Madonna

Comment: I’ll explain right away - I won’t explain! - V. Galashev

Everything in a woman is a mystery, and the clue to everything is her fertility.

- Dear, you will soon become a dad! - Eh, and I wanted to be an astronaut ...

The problem not only went deep, but also led to an unwanted pregnancy. - Mikhail Mamchich

Half trusting is like being a little pregnant. - Alexander Kargin-Utkin

Tell me, were there any pregnant women in your family?

Having crossed the threshold of motherhood, I suddenly became public property, the animated equivalent of a public park. This cutesy expression You now eat for two, my dear perfectly conveys the fact that even your dinner is no longer your business. Indeed, when the land of the free has mastered the methods of coercion, the expression You now eat for us implies that two hundred and something million who poke their noses all over the place will begin to object if you want to eat a donut with jam, and not a full dinner of organic products and vegetables. including all five main food groups. The right to command pregnant women is likely to be included in the Constitution.

A man walks into a pharmacy: "-Two pregnancy tests and two validols."

The most interesting position is when a woman who finds herself in an interesting position is very interested in: which of the possible applicants for paternity put her in such an interesting position? - Yuri Tatarkin

It's time to decorate not only T-shirts, but also wedding dresses with inscriptions ... For example, the inscription is very relevant: NOT ... PREGNANT !!! - Vladimir Borisov

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

The female body is like a clockwork: when you start it, it ticks for nine months. - Mikhail Mamchich

Ryaba hen saw Faberge eggs and did not envy the hen who gave birth to these eggs ... - Vladimir Borisov

The whole time I was pregnant with Kevin, I fought against the very idea of ​​Kevin, with the conviction that I had demoted myself, from a driver to a car, from a landlord to a house.

The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water, not before or after, but instead. NN 1 Humor)

The best contraceptive is pregnancy.

Abortion shish, womb! palindrome) - Stepan Balakin

Daddy I'm pregnant, here's a list of suspects

A tense relationship with a condom is not burdensome. - Evgeny Khankin

Tests for are takeoff green sticks. - Vladimir Borisov

You can't live like that! It's time to protect yourself! - Maya Chetvyortova

They say they invented an absolutely reliable contraceptive pill. Too late. It would be better if she was a bone in the apple that the snake offered Eve. - Stanislav Jerzy Lec

So in the heat of the moment they made me ... - A.V. Ivanov

Any pregnant woman is like a Trojan horse.

The best time to study is pregnancy, because two study in one. - Elena Ermolova

Daddy, are you awake? The kid is talking to you. I am here beside, in the dark, in the mommy's belly. I have your nose and eyes, I feel your caresses, my laughter will flow soon, crying, or rather, but not from grief. And while I'm growing up, you protect your mother. I love you all already. Wait, I will come to you soon!

How good it is to know that another heart is beating inside you, from your beloved man.

The best weight in the world is a toddler in the belly!

Do you know what it is like to put your hand on the belly of a pregnant girl ... It's like touching the universe ... To the future little world ... It's wonderful! It is incomparable with anything ... It's like touching the universe ... Touching the beautiful ... the unknown ...

He was so dizzy that I was sick for 9 months ...

I'm so funny ... My navel is upright ... I walk slowly and I'm afraid to the hospital ... It's so interesting - is she or him there, I'm not alone now I'm 2 in 1 ...

If you are pregnant, this case is temporary. If you are not pregnant, this is also temporary.

Pregnancy statuses - Pregnancy is a unique time in a woman's life that is worth living on a royal scale!

Bunny, you know what I thought ... But if we have a girl, we'll call it Ksyusha, and if it's a boy, then Vlad. - WHAT? - I completely forgot to tell you! In short, I take a pregnancy test yesterday ...

A cat is a drug of love, and a tummy grows from it. There is a little man, such a paw, will open his eyes and say "DAD"!

The most powerful adrenaline rush is not a roller coaster, but waiting for the result of a pregnancy test !!!

God gave me an unspeakable miracle - I will become wiser, I will be a mother. Your heart in me beats like a butterfly - I wake up, smile, and it will smile. It will not betray, it will be a joy, a particle of me, a golden starfall.

What a strange bliss to realize that there, inside, perfection grows and ripens, my angel, the fruit of my love.

You know, there is no one more beautiful than a pregnant woman ... In the eyes - happiness ... In the heart - love ... On the cheeks - a blush ... And inside - a little life ...

A pregnancy test is like children's tights: if there are 2 stripes, then an ASS!

Darling, tell me 3 great words that connect loved ones forever? - Honey, I'm pregnant!

You know, according to the results of one test, it turns out that you have to live with me all your life! - What kind of test? - For pregnancy ...

In the seventh month of happiness!

Sex and pregnancy are like ice cream and sore throat.

Only a pregnant man can be more capricious than a pregnant woman.

A man is never a cosmos. And a pregnant woman in the second half of pregnancy, at least, is a closed space for another human being.

The best hairstyle is clean hair, the best makeup is a healthy sleep, the best figure is pregnancy.

Under the moon and sun, troubles will pass by, our house with you, bypassing. We will be looking at the sparks by the fireplace. You will become a mother, and I will become a father ...

Many girls want to marry only for love, but they marry only because of pregnancy.