What age is it normal to start a relationship. What time girls start dating boys. What is the best age to start a relationship

American psychologists agree that the ideal age for a woman to start a family is about 30. Health is still holding, but social, emotional and professional maturity has increased. Our society has long lived with stereotypes originating from the USSR, and in it from the Empire about the fidelity of early marriages. It was not about the great love of the ancestors for early weddings, but about the need: to give birth while young, to work for the good of the family, while there is strength (mortality was high and early). And in almost all cultures, an archaic society married early. In our country, as in everyone else, the time of unmarriage grew up with childhood. It is known that the human cub is the longest growing of all. Evolution and kind mother nature gave us a chance to grow the brain when the body is in principle formed. It is no secret that in the first menstrual cycle the opportunity to give birth comes. Yes, of course - this is wrong and the body then itself does not grow normally. Therefore, we are the dominant species on the planet, which we give to our children to develop.

▪ At what age do you think you can start dating? ▪ Ask the same question to the parents and enter their answer. It is very likely that the first number entered is smaller. Maybe you are one of the many young people who meet with reasonable expectation until they get to know themselves better. This decision was made by a young Christian named Sondra, although she had reached the age of marriage. He explains: When you start dating someone, you want them to meet you. But if you don't know yourself, how can you expect someone else to understand you?

So, everything was limited by the time of childhood growth. In all industrial and post countries, a 10-year bonus for professional and social growth has also been added to this bonus. That is, so 10+ body10 + consciousness10 + social development of the world. And after the great revolution, we have a distribution and other per-cell distribution of human resources to important parts of the union. There was no need to settle down and adapt. The exceptions were, perhaps, scientists and figures in the creative fields. Hence the high percentage of unsuccessful marriages. Divorce was condemned by society. What to do - change. In any case, people did not have such problems as mortgages and lack of time for a family on such a scale as today. However, I cannot explain this, but a person, even in a state of absolute social order, must grow to the realization of his place in the world. Just grow up. Until this happens, the relationship will resemble kindergarten and shared toys. And then it gets boring. And you need to have fun.

Likewise, 17-year-old Danielle thinks: Two years ago, my expectations for a candidate husband were completely different from what they are today. Are you ready for marriage? Since dating is an important step in finding a married partner, consider whether you are ready to take on the responsibility of your wife or even your mother. Consider the following areas of life.

▪ Relationships with others. How do you feel about your parents and siblings? Do you often get nervous about them? Or maybe you are expressing your opinion in a rude or sarcastic way? What would they say about it? Your behavior at home shows how you will treat your future husband.

Today, our society is gradually shedding and discarding these stereotypes, and although we are still having a hard time alone - both apartments are expensive and sex would be good, people are beginning to understand that early is not always great. Although, in the province there are a lot of young and pregnant women. There is even a joke on the auto radio: "We have a decent girl except to get married and have nowhere to go." Because marriage opens up sexual, housing and secular perspectives. Well, it happens for love. As they say about Shakespeare's tragedy "Romeo and Juliet" in a wonderful studio film And "What Men Talk About" - this is a happy ending. Because first love is not a reason to get married.

▪ Financial situation. How do you manage your money? Can you stay at work? Is the problem the job, the employer, or rather, yourself? If you can't take care of your own budget, how will you manage your entire family's budget?

▪ Spiritual status If you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses, what is your spiritual disposition? Do you read the Word of God on your own initiative, participate in preaching and Christian meetings? If you have any difficulty with this, what incentive will you give your spouse?

This means that the ideal age for the relationship to be and move towards the prospects of the family is 30 - 35.

Everything is individual here, I think there are no special rules, it all depends on your relationship with her. You don't have to date for years to understand your girlfriend, her attitude towards you and the possibility of starting a family with her, although for some people this really drags on for a very long time. And it also happens in a different way, for example, I have a friend whom a guy made an offer to two weeks after they met, she, of course, was shocked, but, fearing to lose him, she agreed. As a result, they got married and have been living quite happily for five years now, and she is very glad that everything turned out exactly as it happened. And to get married is, I think, somewhere after 25 - 27 years old, you can later, but not earlier. For a start, it would not hurt to get to your feet.

These are just a few of the things you should consider when thinking about dating and marriage. Before you are ready for this, you can be with the boys in large groups. When you later decide to meet someone, you will know better who you are and what you expect from a candidate for life.

On pages 13 to 26 of this book published by Jehovah's Witnesses. For simplicity, we will use female in this article. However, the information provided here applies to young people of both sexes. ▪ In what circumstances can you be with boys?

It takes different people a different amount of time to get to know each other better. Some may date for five, six years and end up breaking up, realizing that they are not the same two halves. And some, after two or three months, go to the altar. But on average, it takes people from one to two years to understand whether they are made for each other. In principle, time is not important in order to make a final decision. The most important thing is how you meet. The main thing is to remain yourself, so that you love each other for who you really are. Otherwise, it may happen that after getting married, you suddenly realize that this is a completely different person, and simply divorce, or even worse, you will live a difficult life together, from which you and your future children will suffer mainly

▪ What function should you most use to be a good candidate for a wife? What your peers are saying. If you treat them this way, you are playing with other people's feelings. In my opinion, dates will help you determine if you really would like to marry this person. Thus, you can only hurt someone. In my opinion, you need to reach the age of marriage before going on dates. Otherwise, it looks like you went for a full-time job interview, even though you are still in school and you have no intention of doing so.

There is no definite answer to this question. My husband and I, for example, met for eight whole years before marriage, lived for three years, now, sadly, we are getting divorced. My mom and dad met for two weeks and lived happily for twenty-eight years, in love, harmony and understanding. Therefore, all cases are quite different, you need to proceed from a specific situation, a specific pair. If two people are ready to start a family life, then there is no need to pull much with this, there are times when you meet a person and it seems that you have known him all your life. Based on this, I believe that the duration of the meeting is not important at all. Another question is the age of people. In my opinion, the guy should already be mature enough and a well-established person in life, should be able to provide for his wife, future children, should be mentally ready to bear responsibility for his family, of course, this cannot be at the age of eighteen.

You can get married when you are ready both morally (ready to take responsibility) and financially (able to feed your family). You determine the age yourself, some are not ready at 30, others already support a family at 20. But for many years it is not necessary to meet a girl in order to get married, it is better to decide early. Each has its own term. My husband offered his hand and heart a week later, while others need half a year, for each person - this is individual, the main thing is not to drag it out for years.

Do you really think that there are some rules that prescribe how many years to marry, how long to meet? It looks like a kindergarten. You can get married even at sixteen. True, you will have to take a special permit. And you can get married at a hundred years old. There are such cases in the world. But seriously, you need to get married when you want it and feel that you need a family and you can be responsible for it. As for the girls. If you love and the girl reciprocates you, you have the same views on the family and you both have nothing against each other, then you can safely propose and prepare for family life. And such unanimity can happen a week after they met and a year later. It all depends on the people themselves. From how independent and responsible they are, and how ready you are to become parents. After all, this is a very big responsibility.

This is the opinion of the Russians who took part in the survey of the Research Center of the recruiting portal SuperJob.ru.

The optimal age for the birth of the first child is vividly discussed by doctors around the world. So, Swedish experts believe that it is best for a woman to give birth to her first baby at the age of 22, until she has acquired chronic diseases that complicate conception and pregnancy. In Great Britain, however, the fair sex is advised to postpone the appearance of the first child until 34 years old. In their opinion, it is at this age that a woman is comprehensively ready for motherhood - both physically and mentally, and materially.

Judging by the results of our survey, the Russians are closer to the version of the Swedish doctors. According to the respondents (48%), it is best for a woman to become a mother for the first time at the age of 19-24, “while there is no bouquet of diseases,” “there is strength and energy.”

Almost the same number of respondents (42%) believe that it is better for a woman to give birth to her first child a little later - at the age of 25-29. According to them, at this age a woman is already able to take responsibility for a child, including material responsibility: “She will have time to get an education, earn some capital necessary for a more or less well-to-do life, and the desire to have a child will be conscious.”

The European fashion for the first childbirth at the age of 30-34 is supported by only 5% of respondents (7% among women and 4% among men). Only 1% of Russians are in favor of women giving birth to their first-borns at the age of 35-39. It should be noted that over the past two years, the number of respondents who believe that a woman should become a mother at the age of 19-24 has decreased (from 55% in 2008 to 48% this year). And, on the contrary, the number of those who believe that it is better for a woman to wait until the age of 25-29 with the appearance of her first baby has increased - from 37% to 42%.

If we talk about the strong half of humanity, then more than half of the respondents (54%) believe that the first experience of fatherhood for men should be obtained at the age of 25-29. The respondents argue their opinion by the fact that the young spouse must first become "independent and capable of supporting the family."

Almost a quarter of Russians (26%) believe that the readiness to have a child “wakes up” in men only by the age of 30-34. Early paternity at the age of 19-24 is approved by 10% of the survey participants: “Of course, everyone grows up in different ways, but still, the younger a person is, the more sincere and purer he is.” Another 5% of respondents believe that most men have a “conscious desire to have an heir” at the age of 35-39. And only 1% of Russians believe that a man should not think about heirs until at the age of 40: “Only at 40 do they begin to appreciate the family and understand how important children are.”

Interestingly, men are more likely to be of the opinion that it is better for women to give birth to their first child before the age of 24 (50% versus 45% among women). Twice as often as women (13% and 6%, respectively), they also support that men should have their first child at this age. According to men, having children at a young age is better for women's health, in addition, it gives more chances that the first child will not be the only one for the family. Women, in their comments, often recall the importance of financial preparation for replenishing the family, as well as the fact that, in addition to motherhood, they want to realize themselves in the profession: “Up to 25, a woman must achieve important goals in life - education, career ... Then you can leave on maternity leave ".

Romantic relationships among teenagers are not uncommon. Often these relationships arise from friendship, since intimate-personal communication becomes the leading activity at the age of 14-15. The need for a close friend is so great that if a teenager does not find such a thing, if he has no one to tell his secrets, to tell about his experiences, he feels deeply unhappy.

Many parents who have children growing up in their families are concerned about how old a son or daughter can meet. How to talk to a child at this age? Do I need to convince him, prove that great feelings for a neighbor on a desk are short-lived? First of all, you need to try to understand your children, let them go through all the stages of growing up gradually. Parents should be gentle, but not intrusive. Children who have entered into often do not understand their parents, believing that they are trying to limit their freedom in everything.

Difficulties faced by a teenager in love

A 15-year-old teenager is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. He wants to seem like an adult, and therefore in everything he will strive to prove his independence, independence. Including from parents. Therefore, you should not be surprised that the child does not tell you everything about what is happening to him, stops sharing his experiences. It is already very difficult for him to deal with his conflicting feelings.

Your fifteen-year-old son is actually tormented by questions about how to approach a girl you like, how to earn her attention, how to induce affection for yourself. Perhaps all this seems silly to you, because you are an adult and have long left behind youthful dreams and impulses. Teenagers are very vulnerable and insecure, even if they appear to be proud and unapproachable on the outside. If, at the moment when he is overcome by thousands of anxious thoughts, he begins to pester with questions, you can spoil the mood for a long time both for yourself and the child.

in adolescents

First love is a real test for both the child himself and the parents. Since the feeling itself is new and exciting for a teenager, he is often unable to control it. He loves for the first time, and it seems to him that this is forever. Teenagers' first relationships always come as a surprise to their parents. Here you will inevitably be confused: how to behave and how to react? And if love makes a child suffer, exhausting, he becomes nervous and anxious, then he needs your parental support.

Try to talk to him heart to heart: tell us about your first love, make it clear that you understand his feelings and do not consider it nonsense. If a child suffers from for a long time, then he definitely needs a consultation with a psychologist. A specialist will work with him, help to overcome the feeling of seeming hopelessness and loneliness. In addition, a psychologist will help direct his feelings and thoughts in the right direction: often, experiencing their first love, adolescents abandon their studies, everyday household chores, quarrel with others.

How old can you date?

This question is asked by both children and their parents. It is truly excruciating and controversial because there is no clear age limit for when a child can be allowed to date someone. As a rule, everything happens very unexpectedly and parents are simply presented with a fact. Much also depends on the relationship between the teenager and his chosen one or chosen one. If this is just friendship, friendly relations, then they should not be prohibited. Children can be friends even from kindergarten, what's wrong with that?

It's another matter if you become aware that your son or daughter has fallen in love for the first time. These are completely different feelings, and here age is important. If the child is only 13-14 years old, of course, you need to be very attentive to what is happening to him. Friendships of teenagers can smoothly turn into something more, and succumbing to feelings, a teenager can begin.It is important to consider that at such a young age, children can easily do stupid things. You should not let everything go by itself. But simply forbidding to see each other is also not an option. Even if it seems to you that it is too early for your child to date the opposite sex, do not tell him this. You will only undermine his confidence in himself and that you truly understand him. What matters is not age as a fact confirming that the child is old enough, but how ready he is for close relationships.

Psychological readiness

When answering the question of how old you can meet, one should take into account the degree of the adolescent's readiness for relationships: how much he can be responsible for his actions, whether he is able to admit his own mistakes, whether he has sufficient awareness of puberty and intimate relationships. Is a teenager able to think not only about himself, but also about a partner?

Of course, at the age of 13-14, this is out of the question. Growing older, by about 16-17 years old, a young man or girl already clearly understands what their chosen one should be, understand exactly what kind of relationship they want them to have.

A responsibility

A teenager should know that from the age of fourteen there is criminal responsibility for offenses. The relationship of adolescents is a difficult thing, they often have conflict situations that can be accompanied by various troubles. Most guys who grew up in prosperous families by the age of sixteen can take responsibility for the relationships that they have at the moment.

How can you help your child to become more self-confident?

It's so difficult to decide to go up to meet your favorite peer. A teenager, even the most courageous, sometimes experiences difficulties, suddenly becomes awkward and shy.

Shyness at this age is completely normal, provided that they work on it, that the young man or girl sincerely wants to overcome this quality in himself. In especially difficult cases, when a teenager is catastrophically afraid of rejection or simply cannot build with a peer, a psychologist's consultation will help. The specialist will direct him to solve the problem, tell you how to overcome your imaginary shortcomings and learn to love and appreciate yourself.

The fragility of a relationship

Unfortunately, most teenage romances do not have a sequel and ends as soon as they begin. This is because young people are just learning to build full-fledged trusting relationships with each other. Such young partners can be hindered by any trifle that seems insignificant to an adult: a lack of understanding of the motives of a friend's or girlfriend's actions, a difference in character, some minor problem that will cause a teenager to feel helpless and despondent. Therefore, the question of when you can meet really matters. For obvious reasons, boys and girls under the age of sixteen are unlikely to be truly ready for long-term relationships.

Should you talk to teens about sex?

The topic of intimate relationships is of great concern to adolescents and their parents. Adolescents are characterized by worries about possible physical intimacy, they tell friends about their "exploits" (often imaginary), fantasize. Despite the availability of information, young people often cannot imagine the severity of all the consequences that early sexual activity can lead to. Therefore, it is not only possible, but also necessary to talk about sex with teenagers. If you know that your son or daughter has found a mate, are dating, walking, then the question of intimate relationships cannot be ruled out. Children grow up very quickly, even if their parents don't want to believe it. It is better to have a warning conversation on time than to be unprepared for a surprise afterwards.

How to react if a teenager brings his soul mate home?

Serious relationships during adolescence are rare, but no exception. When the feelings of young people are large and strong, the children have a desire to introduce their chosen one or chosen one to their parents. This is commendable and should be welcomed. Think for yourself: if the child considers it necessary to introduce his soul mate to you, then he trusts you, and your opinion is important to him. Such trust should be tried in every possible way to justify and maintain in the future: then you will always know what is happening with your child.

Thus, the question of how old you can date is of paramount importance when the teenager is not yet ready enough to build personal relationships. When a young man has learned to take responsibility for his own actions and actions, there is no need to be afraid.

You're a man. Young, strong, durable, strong, smart, well-off - both materially and spiritually. Actually, you have only one question that has not been resolved. You - not yet - have children. So they will soon be. Or not soon? It's funny ... Another question arose of itself. What is the best age to have children? We will answer. And we will even figure out what we will answer.

The doctors' answer to the question about age is almost categorical. Not earlier than 18, and not later than 26 years. The answer of the parents of the future parents pushes the instructions of the doctors. They say, first get on your feet, master the profession, and then you will see. The range of responses from other people is wide. From "give birth immediately" to "break off." And what next - to combine both of these options? Today, more and more people are shifting the birth of their first-born children further away. I mean, we'll first celebrate 30 years, and then we'll return to the issue of children. It’s unclear whether it’s a fact, or someone’s fantasy. But the number of men who became fathers after 30 years - in comparison with the 80s of the twentieth century - increased by 40%. What does it mean? Financial injections, first of all, into yourself? Is the first child after 50 years old? But what about the fact that a child who was born after 35 years of parents (both mom and dad) has a greater chance of genetic abnormalities? That is, the child will be and will be smart. But weak. Almost like parents who are worn out with age, but have gained experience, skills and other nonsense. And now they were suddenly bored. And the newborn will brighten up this boredom. And it will give a reason to be proud of yourself to those who had the opportunity to give life to a new creature.

Negative responses

All this is strange. Having children is an option to overcome boredom. I wonder how men look at it? Those who are in no hurry to become fathers? Those who earn little, drink a lot, are childish, irresponsible, pragmatic, frivolous, depraved, indifferent to sex, lazy, give all their free time to work (friends, internet, sofa, TV ...)? Those who were also once born? .. But in any way they do not look. They doubt that they will be able to support a family (if before men had no one to compare themselves with, today there are bulk options, and most of them clearly do not flatter the one who compares). They do not want (by themselves and by their actions) to increase poverty - both ordinary and financial. They do not want to "lose" the possibility of any entertainment with any young ladies. Like, enough of those lotteries that have played enough. They are afraid that the spouse (beloved, betrothed, sweetheart, my star ...) will suddenly turn into an indefinite fat woman. They don't want to be manipulated through a child. They don't want to waste their free time. They do not want to become the father of the “rival” (they say, my fish will now switch to the baby, and I will remain on the sidelines and alone). They are afraid not to become a good husband and a good father. They are afraid that the birth of a child will clearly indicate the beginning of his old age. Doubt, do not want, do not want, fear, fear ... Nightmare. What kind of men did our parents raise? At the same time, the active hormonal-sexual age in men fits into 17-23 years. And by the age of 80, testosterone production is equal to 20% of the personal norm. Etc. But everything is around what has just been indicated. They say that the optimal age for a man to become a dad for the first time is 30 years. He studied, matured, walked, earns. Fits. Run march to bed. He marched. Excited. I got carried away. Evacuated. The answer to the question went to visit him ...

Dad at 45?

Scientists have found that after 41 years, sperm lose their "qualities". 7%. After 45 years, the percentage increases. Accordingly, the chances of becoming a dad at 41 are 60%. 45 - 35%. At the same time, children of dads "over 45 years old" often have heart disease, schizophrenia, autism, and epilepsy. However, there is an opinion that the quality of the egg is much more important than the quality of the sperm. Eggs know better. And the last thing. Shanghai geneticists recently reported that it takes more time and effort for men over 35 to fertilize a female egg. These are the answers to the general theoretical question "At what age is it best to become a dad"? Let us give you an individual answer.

In the medical world, they do not get tired of debating about how old a man can have children. The conclusion of a new study is that it is better for a young woman to have children with an older man than with a young one. A mature man is more likely to give birth to healthy children than a young man whose hormones are raging, writes the British Independent.

A large-scale study of the question of how the age of parents affects the likelihood of a child developing health problems at birth has revealed that those babies whose fathers are not yet twenty years old are most at risk.

Children of young fathers are 22% more likely to die in the first four weeks of life, and their chances of dying in the first year of life are 41% higher than those of those whose fathers are in their twenties. They are also 17% more likely to be born prematurely and underweight. If a man is over forty, the risk of congenital diseases in a child does not increase. At the same time, the age of the mothers who took part in the study ranged from 20 to 29 years (to exclude the influence of the mother's age on the results).

Theoretically, you can become a father at any age, since sperm are produced throughout a man's life. However, mature men should not be deceived about their reproductive capabilities. If the sperm count of a 20-year-old healthy man is taken as 100%, the portal writes MOTHER, then at 40 its indicators will be only 70% in terms of mobility, 50% in terms of the content of normal sperm, 50% in terms of viability. Only these reasons are three quarters of cases of infertility in men over 50 years old. By the way, fertility could remain at a constant level up to 55-60 years, but the rate of decline in fertility in men is strongly influenced by the lifestyle - smoking, alcohol abuse, drug addiction.

Unfortunately, over the years, men have a lower chance of conceiving a healthy child. In 2002, scientists from the University of Washington examined the sperm of 60 men between the ages of 22 and 60. It turned out that in men aged 35 and older, most of the germ cells have a deformed DNA molecular chain. It is believed that babies born to fathers of 50 and older have a fourfold increase in the likelihood of Down's disease.

The authors of the last study draw attention to the fact that in cases when sick children are born to young fathers, social factors play a role in many respects. Teenage fathers tend to be poorer than men over forty and have worse education. Therefore, they are less likely to provide their pregnant wives with medical care that would allow them to avoid problems with the child. Children of older fathers start life in more favorable starting conditions.

Alan Pacey, professor of andrology at Sheffield University, says: “It’s easy to say that the problem is in the sperm of the young father, as if they are somehow abnormal. But this is contradicted by the data of many studies, which showed that the number of defects in the DNA of germ cells in men increases with age. "

Hollywood actor Michael Douglas was 56 years old when his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones, who was 31 at the time, gave birth to their first child in 2000. Now the couple have two children, but Catherine wants a third.	The Russian film director celebrated his 70th birthday last year. He has 7 children. The youngest, whom the actress Julia Vysotskaya gave birth to him (she is half his life younger than him), are 7 and 2 years old. Andrei Konchalovsky, in a sense, supports the family tradition. The wife of his 94-year-old father, Sergei Mikhalkov, is almost fifty years younger than her husband.
The 70-year-old actor has five children from four different women. The younger ones were born in 1990 and 1992.	German top model Heidi Klum was 30 when her first child, Leni, was born in 2004. The child's father was 54 years old. Klum has already divorced him.
By the way, a 68-year-old man was in Minsk last year.

Even when a healthy child is born to an elderly father, the question arises - how many years he has to raise a son or daughter. Most often, the answer will be a little. This makes you think about responsibility.

Still, older fathers have one advantage. Psychologists say that men around the age of 60 become quite sentimental and indeed the appearance of a child is a great grace and a reason for pride. Experts even notice that those who become fathers in old age begin to take better care of their health, because they really want to live longer.