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What kind of child was Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy in his big one. Standard child deductions in unusual situations

Date of compilation of the digest - 10/08/2012.

A deduction for a child is provided to each parent until his income, calculated on an accrual basis from the beginning of the year, reaches 280,000 rubles. An accountant, before granting a deduction, must examine the documents submitted by the employee to make sure the number and sequence of children of each parent. Children are not always born in the same marriage, and therefore the number and sequence of the husband and wife may not coincide. Moreover, it is not necessary to be a registered husband and wife in order to receive the deductions, it is enough just to have common children. And the number of children of each parent is important, since from January 1, 2012, the deduction for the third and subsequent child is 3000 rubles, while for the first and second child - 1400 rubles. Sometimes parents decide that only one of the spouses, for example, the father, will receive the deduction for mom and dad. In order for the organization to correctly provide such deductions to its employees, we have prepared answers to questions related to various situations in this issue.

In this issue, you will learn:
1. Why the amount of deductions from parents for the same child may differ.
2. What documents to require from an employee claiming a deduction.
3. In what cases a double deduction cannot be provided.
4. How to "redistribute" the deduction between spouses and more.

1. Procedure for providing tax deductions for children
1.1. In what order is the sequence of children determined: in chronological order by date of birth or depending on whether standard personal income tax deductions are provided for them?
A tax deduction is made for each child under the age of 18, as well as for each full-time student, graduate student, resident, intern, student, cadet under the age of 24. The total number of children is taken into account in determining the amount of the standard tax deduction to be applied, that is, the first child is the oldest child, regardless of whether the deduction is granted. In this case, the sequence of children is determined in chronological order by date of birth.
Question: An employee of the organization has three children aged 19 (working), 12 and 7 years old. In accordance with Federal Law of 21.11.2011 N 330-FZ, which entered into force on 22.11.2011 and extends its effect to legal relations arising from 01.01.2011 in terms of providing a standard tax deduction for third and subsequent children, as well as for children- disabled people, the amount of the deduction is 3000 rubles. How should this rule be applied: determine the order of children in chronological order by date of birth or depending on whether a standard personal income tax deduction is provided for them? ("Clarifications of the executive authorities on the conduct of financial and economic activities in commercial organizations", 2012, N 2) (ConsultantPlus)
Question: On the procedure for providing and the amount of the standard personal income tax deduction for children for parents with one and many children. (Letter of the Federal Tax Service of Russia dated 05.05.2012 N ED-2-3 / [email protected]) ( Consultant Plus )

1.2. Is there a standard personal income tax deduction for the third child in the amount of 3,000 rubles if the first two children are already adults (over 24 years old) and standard personal income tax deductions are not provided for them? Is such a child considered the third in the order of children or is a standard personal income tax deduction provided for him, as for the first child supported by his parents?
A taxpayer who is a parent of three children, for two of whom no longer provides standard tax deductions, has the right to receive, from 01.01.2012, a deduction for the third child for each month of the tax period in the amount of RUB 3,000.
Question: Is there a standard personal income tax deduction for the third child in the amount of 3,000 rubles if the first two children are already adults (over 24 years old) and the standard personal income tax deduction is not provided for them? Is such a child considered the third in the order of children or is a standard personal income tax deduction provided for him as for the first child supported by his parents? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation of 10.02.2012 N 03-04-05 / 8-146) (ConsultantPlus)

1.3. Does the wife have the right to a deduction in the amount of 3,000 rubles? per child, if the husband has two children from his first marriage, their mother pays alimony by court order, and the children themselves live with their father in this family and are supported. At the same time, the marriage was registered, and a common child was born from this marriage. For the husband's older children, the wife was provided with deductions when they studied in educational institutions on a full-time basis.
A taxpayer who is a parent of a child is entitled to a standard tax deduction for a third child in the amount of RUB 3,000. for each month of the tax period, since the two children of the spouse from the first marriage are also taken into account when determining the priority.
Question: ... On the procedure for providing a standard tax deduction for personal income tax in accordance with paragraphs. 4 p. 1 of Art. 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation as amended by Federal Law of 21.11.2011 N 330-FZ. (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation of 01.19.2012 N 03-04-06 / 8-10) (ConsultantPlus)

1.4. When prioritizing children for the standard tax deduction, are foster children also included in chronological order by date of birth? For example, a woman is the mother of three children born in 2002, 2004 and 2008. She is also recognized as the guardian of the child born in 2003. Is it legitimate in this case to consider that the child under guardianship is the second for establishing the amount of the standard tax deduction?
When determining the order of children, the total number of children, including wards, is taken into account in order to determine the size of the standard tax deduction, in chronological order by date of birth, that is, the first child is the oldest child, regardless of whether he is a ward or a native. The child's birth certificate, presented by the taxpayer to the tax agent, is used as a document confirming the date of birth of a child. According to Art. 23 of the Federal Law of 15.11.1997 N 143-FZ "On acts of civil status" (hereinafter - Federal Law N 143-FZ), this certificate contains, in particular, information about the date and place of birth of the child.

1.5. What is the procedure for providing a standard personal income tax deduction if the first child is 27 years old, the second child has died, and the third child is 13 years old?
A taxpayer who is a parent of three children (including a child who died) is entitled, from 01.01.2012, to receive a standard tax deduction for the third child for each month of the tax period in the amount of RUB 3,000.
Question: ... 1. What is the procedure for providing a standard tax deduction for personal income tax to a taxpayer who is provided with three children, of which the third is a disabled child? 2. In what order is the standard personal income tax deduction provided to a taxpayer who is in a second marriage, has two (three) children from a previous marriage and pays (or does not pay) alimony for their maintenance? 3. Are children who have died taken into account when determining the applicable amount of the standard personal income tax deduction? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation of 10.02.2012 N 03-04-06 / 8-33) (ConsultantPlus)
Question: The taxpayer has two minor children on support. At the same time, earlier (before the birth of these children) the taxpayer had a dead child. In order to provide standard tax deductions established by paragraphs. 4 p. 1 of Art. 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation, what will be the living children in the account and in what amount will the corresponding deduction be provided in 2012? (Expert consultation, 2012) (ConsultantPlus)

1.6. What is the procedure for providing a standard tax deduction for personal income tax to a taxpayer who is provided with three children, the third of whom is a disabled person?
When providing a standard tax deduction to a taxpayer who has three children, the third of whom is disabled, the tax deductions for the third child and the disabled child are not summed up. In this case, a special rule is applied that establishes a tax deduction for a disabled child in the amount of 3,000 rubles, and regardless of what account he is. Therefore, if a disabled child were the first in a row, the amount of the deduction would be the same (RUB 3,000).
Question: The individual has three children, the third is a disabled child. An individual received a standard personal income tax deduction in the amount of 4000 rubles. (1000 + 1000 + 2000), since in respect of a disabled child, the indicated deduction was provided in double amount. According to the amendments made to Art. 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation from January 1, 2011, the standard personal income tax deduction for the third child is provided in the amount of 3,000 rubles. How much does an individual have the right to receive a standard personal income tax deduction for a disabled child? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation of February 14, 2012 N 03-04-05 / 8-178) (ConsultantPlus)

1.7. On what basis should children be considered the first, second, third, if the family has three children of the same date of birth?
According to Art. 23 of Federal Law N 143-FZ, the child's birth certificate contains the date and number of the record of the birth certificate. In paragraph 2 of Art. 22 of the said Law, it is determined that in the case of the birth of twins or more children at the same time, a record of the birth act is drawn up in relation to each child, indicating the sequence of birth of children. In the case of state registration of the birth of twins or more children, information about the children is entered into the form of the act entry in the sequence corresponding to the sequence of the birth of children. At the same time, in column 7 "The number of children born (one, twins or more children)", the number of children born is indicated in words, and it is also noted how the child was born (clause 21 of the Rules for filling out forms of civil status records and forms of state registration certificates acts of civil status approved by the Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation of 17.04.1999 N 432). Consequently, in the situation under consideration, the chronological order of birth of children will correspond to the sequence of serial numbers of records of birth certificates contained in birth certificates.
Question: An individual is the father of three children: the first child is a school student at the age of 17, the second and third are twins at the age of 12, one of whom is a disabled child. In this situation, it is impossible to determine who is the second child of the twins, since they have the same date of birth. Standard tax deduction is possible in two versions: 1000 + 1000 + 3000 = 5000 rubles; 1000 + 3000 + 3000 = 7000 rubles. How much can an individual receive a standard personal income tax deduction? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of the Russian Federation of December 21, 2011 N 03-04-05 / 8-1075) (ConsultantPlus)

2. What documents are required to obtain a "child" deduction for personal income tax for the spouse's child?
2.1. What documents must be submitted to the spouse in order to obtain the standard personal income tax deduction for the spouse's child in the following situation: the spouse's own child lives with the spouses (the marriage is registered), while the spouse is neither the child's natural father nor his guardian (the child is not adopted) ... The child bears the mother's maiden name. There is a dash in the "Father" column in the child's birth certificate. The spouses have common children, born in wedlock in 2008 and 2010. In accordance with the certificate of a large family, the spouse is the father, the spouse is the mother, they are provided with three children.
If the spouse's child lives with the spouse, regardless of his or her adoption, a standard tax deduction may be granted to the spouse who is supporting the child. Documents confirming the right to receive a standard tax deduction for a child can be, in particular, a copy of the child's birth certificate, a copy of the passport (with a mark on the registration of marriage between the parents) or a marriage registration certificate, a certificate from the housing and communal service about the child's cohabitation with the parent (s), the parent's spouse (s), the parent's statement about the spouse's participation in providing for the child.
Question: Does a spouse have the right to receive a standard personal income tax deduction for foster children if the foster parent's certificate is issued to the spouse? What documents are required to obtain a standard personal income tax deduction for foster children in this case? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of Russia dated 06.04.2012 N 03-04-05 / 8-465) (ConsultantPlus)

2.2. The employee is registered and lives at the address indicated in the certificate on the composition of the family at the place of residence of the employee, his wife and child actually live with him, but they are registered at a different address. What documents can confirm that the wife and child are actually living with the employee and the child is supported by both parents?
If the child actually lives with the parents and is supported by them, then regardless of the registration of the child at the place of residence of one of the parents, both parents are entitled to a standard tax deduction. Documents confirming such a right may be, in particular, a copy of the child's birth certificate, a copy of a passport (with a mark on the registration of marriage between the parents) or a marriage registration certificate, a certificate from an educational institution that the child is a student. The fact of a child's cohabitation with a parent can be confirmed by a certificate from the place of his residence of the relevant housing and operating organization (the Unified Information and Calculation Center), or by a certificate from a homeowners' partnership, a housing or housing construction cooperative, or by a certificate from a city, settlement or rural administration (such a certificate can be issued to an employee if he really pays utility bills for the child and wife who actually live with him). In addition, this fact can be established in court.
Question: When applying for a job, an employee for the purpose of obtaining a standard tax deduction for personal income tax, established by paragraphs. 4 p. 1 of Art. 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation, presented the following documents: 1) marriage certificate; 2) the child's birth certificate; 3) a certificate from an educational institution (full-time education); 4) a certificate on the composition of the family at the place of residence of the employee, in which the wife and child are not indicated. The wife and child actually live with the worker, but they are registered at a different address. No documents confirming their cohabitation have been submitted. Is an employee entitled to receive a standard personal income tax deduction? What supporting documents are required in this case? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of Russia dated 02.04.2012 N 03-04-05 / 8-401) (ConsultantPlus)

2.3. What documents must the spouse submit to the employer in order to receive the standard tax deductions for children if the family has four children, three of whom are the children of the spouse from a previous marriage, and one is a common child? The spouse's three children are registered at the place of registration of the spouse and her ex-husband, and the common child - at the place of registration of the real husband. For three children, the ex-spouse pays alimony, for which there is a corresponding voluntary agreement. Does the second spouse have the right to receive tax deductions and what documents should he submit, taking into account the fact that the children are actually dependent on three citizens?
In the event that the spouse's three children from the first marriage live together with the second spouse, standard tax deductions can be granted to the second spouse who is supporting the children. Documents confirming the right of the second spouse to receive deductions for children can be, in particular, copies of birth certificates of all four children, a copy of a passport (with a mark on the registration of marriage between parents) or a marriage registration certificate. About what documents confirm the fact of cohabitation of children with the mother's spouse, it was said above.
Question: A woman has four children, three of them from her first spouse, and one child from her second spouse. The first child is 14 years old, the second is 10 years old, the third is 8 years old, and the fourth is 8 months old. Children from the first spouse live together with the second spouse, while they are registered at the place of residence of the first spouse. The first spouse pays child support for three children. Both spouses work in the same organization, which refused the second spouse to receive the standard personal income tax deduction. Who is eligible to receive the standard personal income tax deduction and what documents must be submitted? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of Russia dated 02.04.2012 N 03-04-05 / 8-402) (ConsultantPlus)

2.4. What documents confirm the right to receive standard tax deductions for personal income tax by a taxpayer who is in a second marriage, has two (three, etc.) children from a previous marriage and pays alimony for their maintenance?
If the marriage between the parents is dissolved, the second parent, who is in the second marriage and lives separately from the children, must submit copies of the child's birth certificates and documents confirming the payment of alimony for the maintenance of minor children in order to confirm the right to receive tax deductions.
Question: ... The child's father, who is an employee of the organization, pays child support and does not live with him. After the death of the child's mother, the grandmother was appointed guardian of the child, who lives with him. Is an employee of the organization entitled to receive a standard double personal income tax deduction for a minor child in accordance with para. 13 pp. 4 p. 1 of Art. 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation, subject to the submission of the following documents: birth certificate of a child; passports with a mark on the dissolution of marriage with the child's mother (no new marriage was concluded); the death certificate of the child's mother? (Letter of the Ministry of Finance of Russia dated 19.07.2012 N 03-04-06 / 8-206) (ConsultantPlus)
Question: The taxpayer pays alimony for the maintenance of a minor child. At the same time, the amount of alimony withheld by the organization from the employee's income is lower than the amount of the subsistence minimum for children established by law. On this basis, the organization refused to provide the payer with a standard personal income tax deduction for a child. Is the organization's position legitimate? (Expert consultation, 2012) (ConsultantPlus)

3. Provision of deductions for children in case of divorce of parents

The documents presented in the digest are included in the "ConsultantPlus" System.

How is the life of children developing due to the fact that their parents once made the decision to have a second, third, N + 1 child? This theme sounds in many fairy tales, and not only in fairy tales. It is also interesting for psychologists who have long been discussing the question of the dependence of personality traits on the so-called "birth order" in the family.

The pioneer in posing this problem, Alfred Adler, singled out the following "ordinal positions" of the child in the family: only child, oldest child in the family, middle child, youngest of two children, youngest of three or more children. Adler showed that babies differ in character, depending on the order of birth. Based on this classification and using our own observations, we will try to analyze how the birth order of a child affects the development of his personality.

For an only child in a family, the most important task is to understand adults; constantly solving it, he develops his ability to understand other people, he is characterized by a heightened sense of good and evil, high motivation for achievement. He loves to solve problems and find different ways to solve them. Only children feel that they are unique. They demand a lot from life, strive to justify the hopes of their parents. They are characterized by a high level of self-esteem. Apparently due to the fact that they do not need to fight for the attention and love of their parents, the only children have more opportunities for intellectual improvement, and in this case, parents have much more time to develop their offspring and communicate with him.

However, there is a risk of being “tied down,” “learned helplessness.” Being in the power of parental care, the child is practically never left to himself. He has few opportunities to independently build his relationships with others. Depending on the degree of parental care, two types of an only child are distinguished: growing up early and "mama's son". (It seems to us that the latter option is very likely in a family where there were previously problems with pregnancy or for some other reason the child was born late.)

The second position is the older child, who goes through three stages in his development:

1. He is the only one, unique, is in the focus of attention of parents, in a privileged position.

2. With the birth of the youngest child, the situation changes dramatically. If the elder is not five or six years old by this time, then the birth of a brother or sister can cause him severe stress. Parents switch to the baby, the older child loses power over them. But he is still too young to understand what actually happened, his feelings can be formulated something like this: "My place has now been taken by someone else." Here envy and competition between children can begin, and such a reaction of the first child to the appearance of a younger one is stronger if the second child is of the same sex.

3. At the third stage, the child finds a way out of this situation. The solution looks like this: "I can do any job better than a kid, I am older and smarter." This decision of the older child is reinforced by the behavior of the parents: they understand that too little time and attention is given to the older child. Therefore, they tell him in their defense that, compared to the baby, he is already smart enough to do a lot on his own, without the help of adults.

Adlerians characterize older children as observing the rules, striving for excellence, success and most often achieving it, and if not, then giving up what they started. These are usually “good” children (obedient, acting according to the rules). They are conscientious, serious, stubborn, responsible, and the sense of responsibility can be too high: as a result of this, the older child sometimes turns into a deeply anxious person. In addition, older children are conservative, they often become guardians of family tradition and morality, which they are trying to spread to the whole world around them.

Elders are intolerant of other people's mistakes and at the same time very feelingsare receptive to comments from others and changes in attitudes. The older child usually has low scores for the factor “social interest (identification with others, empathy, inclination to cooperative behavior, altruism), and the larger the family, the lower these indicators. The elders are essentially parent-oriented, and this, according to many researchers, is the reason for the more pronounced conscientiousness. Most often they are focused on science.

On the one hand, the elders can begin to lead the younger ones, and on the other, they can become unquestioning executors of the wishes of the little ones. In addition, the elder is trying to somehow resist the younger brother or sister, who now gets the lion's dose of parental attention. In this case, the older child may try to identify with one of his own parents (thereby creating the illusion of closeness with him).

The difference in age between children is also important. It is believed that the "laying" of the basic characteristics of a person's personality occurs before the age of six. Therefore, it is possible that the firstborn, older than the rest of the children by more than 6-7 years, will retain the characteristics of the only one.

The third of the above birth positions is the youngest of two children in a family. This child is the complete opposite of the older one. He is characterized by independence, optimism. The younger of the two children shifts the responsibility for everything that happens to the others. In relationships with people, he is manipulative. It is difficult for him to keep up with his elders, who have an academic focus, so he decides to bypass him in another field where he is not strong (usually sports or art).

The younger ones show great impulsivity, uncontrollable affective reactions, hostility, pugnaciousness. They are more self-centered than others, and not particularly keen on meeting the expectations of others. Younger children are more likely to become “favorites”; perhaps that is why, as noted in many works, they are emotionally more stable, while the older ones are more anxious, emotionally unstable.

The younger ones are more sociable, dominant, carefree, practical. Usually they are assigned fewer responsibilities (at least in childhood, however, stereotypes of behavior are formed precisely during this period of life). It even happens that the nickname "baby" is assigned to them for a very long time, a wonderful example of this is Astrid Lindgren's book "The Kid and Carlson". Of course, this cannot but affect the development of the personality of the youngest child.

The position of the average in the child's birth order is the least researched; apparently, it is these children who most often have difficulties with self-determination, due to the fact that they are both older and younger and therefore combine the features of both.

Studies have shown that the main focus in the family is on the elders, who are considered the "hope of the family" as they are "the smartest" and "skillful", and the younger, as the "most helpless." Lack of parental attention often makes the middle child feel abandoned and therefore sometimes develop annoying, attention-grabbing habits. Some researchers believe that middle children learn to live in harmony with everyone, becoming friendly and tactful towards others. On the other hand, if we proceed from the concept of A. Adler, which explains the effect of birth order by a struggle for power, middle children, gaining a “place in the sun” for themselves, should become not friendly, but rather spiteful.

The last position to be described is the youngest of three or more children. To develop relationships with others, especially with his own brothers and sisters, he has the following alternatives: either pretend to be a child all his life, or find a way to get around the rest, like Ivanushka is a fool in Russian fairy tales. These children may be the luckiest of all. They are creative personalities and are often incomprehensible to others (“And who is he like?” - usually sounds about these children). Their gaze is directed to the future. They often make good leaders.

By the time the youngest child was born, the parents could already have formed their own view of upbringing. Therefore, it can be assumed that in relation to the younger, the tactics of educational influence will be more consistent than in relation to the elder (who is literally bombarded with a flurry of various, often contradictory educational measures leading to his emotional instability). In addition, the emotional instability of older children can be explained by the loss of attention of parents with the birth of the next child and the inability to adequately assess the current situation and find a constructive way to respond to it.

Of course, the patterns described by us are not fatal, but only indicate some trends in the development of children, depending on the order of their birth. Knowing these tendencies will help parents avoid many of the undesirable consequences that the above-described distribution of roles among children in the family can lead to.

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You've probably heard the opinion that the oldest child in a family grows up to be the most responsible, and that the only children are often selfish and demanding. Is it true that your character and talents can be directly related to what kind of child you are in the family?

Today site decided to figure out how our character and mind are connected with the order of birth, and whether they are connected at all.

This relationship was theorized back in the 1920s by Alfred Adler, a colleague and friend of Sigmund Freud. According to Adler, the order in which a child is born in a family is crucial.

  • Firstborn (oldest child). According to Adler, the first child is conservative, aspiring to power, and predisposed to leadership. Accustomed to caring for and protecting the younger, he also grows up to be caring, prone to fatherhood (motherhood) and often takes the initiative into his own hands.
  • Second (middle) child. His older brother or sister sets the pace. Often seeks to break senior records. The rate of development is higher. Ambitious and not inclined to selfishness. He can set unreasonably high goals for himself, which increases the number of failures, although often failures only harden him.
  • Last child (youngest). As a rule, he is surrounded by care and attention from all sides. May feel inferior and lack a sense of independence. But he has a high motivation to surpass his elders. Often becomes the best in one area of ​​his choice (the best athlete or musician), and also quickly finds a common language with people. Although a younger one can often be more irresponsible and frivolous than older children.
  • An only child. He often competes with his father. It is usually under the control of the mother for too long and expects the same protection and care from others. The main feature of this lifestyle is attention dependence and egocentrism. He often has difficulties in relationships with peers. However, he cannot be denied perfectionism, and often he, in spite of everything, achieves the assigned tasks.

The theory that birth order affects personality and IQ has become quite popular and has divided the opinions of scientists. Some completely disagree, while others are convinced that this plays a decisive role in the character of the child. Scientists from the University of Leipzig and the Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz, Germany, conducted a study and studied more than 20,000 adults from the United States, Germany and the United Kingdom. In this very study, they compared siblings in families and their birth order.

It turned out that older children score higher on intelligence tests, although not so significant. Scientists have found no evidence that birth order affects emotional stability and imagination.

Another study found more evidence that birth order influences personality formation. Scientists analyzed the characters of 370,000 high school students from the United States.

The main findings they made were that firstborns were more honest and inclined towards leadership, as well as less sociable and resilient to stress. Middle children are more conscientious and diligent. And the younger ones are open and sociable. Children who were the only ones in the family are often nervous, but at the same time they are quite outgoing and social.

In fact, it is worth recognizing that the research data have a number of inaccuracies, since they do not take into account such important social factors as nationality, education, well-being and family relationships. Yes, the order of birth has a definite effect on character due to the different conditions in which children find themselves. But do not forget that the main role is still played by the relationship between parents and the child and upbringing, which can be individual for each of the children in the family.

Parents usually place great responsibility on the first-born. For his younger brothers and sisters, he partly replaces dad and mom: he watches over the kids, helps them prepare their homework, maybe even go to parent-teacher meetings ... It turns out that he competes with his parents, although in fact he cannot reach them. During childhood, the firstborn gets used to relying more on himself than on others. Of course, this approach contributes to success in life. But whether he promises a happy life is a big question. The eldest boy in the family will most likely follow in the footsteps of his father in professional activities, the girl will repeat the fate of her mother. The firstborn will always take on inflated obligations, take care of those who are around, become a good leader and ... suffer from overload both at work and in family life. A typical "big brother" complex. In the family, he will decide everything himself, without consulting his wife. He would marry a girl who was herself a younger sister, so that she would calmly concede in everything. Or a woman striving to belong to the business elite. She will receive a reliable life partner, endowed with a sense of duty, but restrained and closed in marital relations.

Second

The second child, if he was born a little later than the first, will compete with the older one and will inevitably lose to him. One and a half to two years is a slight difference, even in height the second can catch up with the first, but still it is very difficult for him to become smarter and older than the first-born, although it seems that a little more - and he will catch up with him. If the second child is a girl and her oldest is a brother, it may very well happen that in adolescence she will behave like a boy: how to cut her hair, dress like a boy, be friends with boys ... And in later life, play on the male field: compete with men , to build relationships with them like a man and ... to lose to men. American studies have shown that those women who do not have older brothers achieve success in life.
For the second child, three paths open up in life:
  • if you go to the right, you will forever prove that you are no worse, in such a competition your whole life will pass;
  • you will go straight - you will do something that the elder cannot do (a constructive decision), or you will become its opposite - a drunkard, a drug addict, a rowdy, in general, an asocial type (a non-constructive decision of the same path is to go perpendicular to the line of the older brother);
  • If you go to the left, you will remain forever small, youngest, foolish, but with your mother.

Third

But then a third child appears. The second becomes average and experiences a true drama: he was just the youngest with all the ensuing benefits, and suddenly he lost this place! In such a situation, many children unconsciously choose for themselves the second path of development, and its non-constructive offshoot. And the third takes a warm place. You don't have to compete with your elders, you don't have to fight for the love of your parents, you will get it all. You are small, you are a favorite. What in this situation will grow out of the third? If he (be it a boy or a girl) is endowed with creative and intellectual abilities, he can do something for his own pleasure in adult life, without competing with anyone. Sometimes it
benefits others, as an example - the youngest in the family Dmitry Mendeleev with his discoveries. If God has not rewarded with talents, he will parasitize - look for someone who would carry him on the arms, take care of him, feed him ... And there will be such people! Because the youngest thirds turn out to be nice and charming people, after all, they did not have to develop aggression in themselves in order to assert themselves, overtake their older brother or take a place next to their parents.

Everyone has his own path

How should parents with many children behave so that their children are not doomed to these generally unhappy life patterns?
The elder should be allowed to feel like a child more often. Do not stop him when he is indulging or fooling around the way all children do, support his hobbies, spend more time with him alone, without the younger ones, he also wants to be small.
In the middle child, find some feature for which the family is valued, and support those of his hobbies that do not copy the older's hobbies. Never compare the second child with the first, do not force to be equal to the first, each has its own way!
And the third, in order for him to grow up responsible and independent, must be loaded with responsibilities. He must answer for something in the house: at least water the flowers, at least feed the kitten ... Less privileges for him!

"French account" - French language. HUIT. DIX. TROIS. UN. CINQ. SIX. CONTE DE ZERO A DIX. NEUF. Account up to 10. ZERO. SEPT. DEUX. QUATRE.

"The Life and Work of Tolstoy" - Yasnaya Polyana - the Tolstoy family estate. L. N. Tolstoy in the last years of his life. School for peasant children in Yasnaya Polyana. "ABC". "The story of my childhood". I. N. KRAMSKOY (1837-1887) Portrait of the writer L. N. Tolstoy. 1873. Portrait of I. E. Repin. L.N. Tolstoy, an aspiring writer. L.N. Tolstoy on arable land.

"Working with a child" - Completion. Whispering in your ear. Celebrate children's birthdays. What kind of pupils become. Solving problem situations. Areas of work with preschoolers. Work with children to develop creative abilities. Be loyal and sincere in your activities. They respect nature and objects of spiritual and material culture.

"Mathematics Grade 1 Counting" - What has changed? make up expressions. You have completed all the tasks! Neznaikin's task. How many little ducklings Want to swim and dive? Grade 1 mathematics. But one kid got tired, Left behind his comrades. 9-2. Mathematical expressions. 3 + 3. Interesting things await you tomorrow! 6 + 2. Establish a match. Try again!

"Verbal counting" - Lev Tolstoy and Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky were in the salon. "Oral counting". Rachinsky died on May 2, 1902. The painting "Oral counting" was written in 1895. The Rachinsky were fond of music, poetry and floriculture. Painting by NP Bogdanov-Belsky "Oral counting." teacher Solve an example.

“Verbal counting at school” - Six funny cubs They hurry to the forest for raspberries. The rapidity of counting occurs as a result of prolonged exercise. Collect apples in baskets. No pens. Develop logical thinking, attention, memory. Build computational skills. Methodological foundations of oral counting. Targets and goals. Tasks in verse. A variety of tasks is the key to successful work.