Sex after childbirth: when can you? And is it worth using protection? The timing of the onset of sexual activity after childbirth. Physiological features of a woman after childbirth and sex

03.07.2019

As a rule, pregnancy and childbirth significantly change the usual sexual life of partners - for all nine months of waiting for a baby, we are afraid that sexual intercourse can interrupt pregnancy, and, after the birth of a child, many mothers simply have no time to think about sex life. So start to resume sexual activity after childbirth, you need to carefully and competently.

Many husbands, missing the body of a young mother and wife, try to sex life after childbirth started as early as possible. This is due to the fact that they feel deprived of care and attention, because after childbirth, a woman devotes all her strength to caring for and raising a baby.

Medically, earlier resumption of sexual activity after childbirth can bring very unpleasant consequences for a young mother, because the female reproductive system after childbirth should get stronger, and this takes time.

So, when, after all, it is possible to resume sexual activity after childbirth?

Doctors advise to start having sex only when all the consequences of labor have disappeared. In addition, before resuming sexual relations after the birth of a baby, you must definitely visit gynecologist's consultation... He will not only conduct a thorough examination of the woman's genitals, prescribe treatment, if necessary, but also advise you on the most suitable one. method of contraception, in order to avoid unwanted pregnancy and not.

How long after childbirth?

Many medical books write about sex life after childbirth, it can begin no earlier than 6-8 weeks after the birth of the baby. It is during this period that it returns to its original state, frees itself from the remnants of blood and all damaged tissues are restored. Experts insist that sexual intercourse is not recommended until until the young mom stops bleeding... Otherwise, you can get an infection in the uterus or vagina.

If, during childbirth, some complications have arisen: episitomy, perineal rupture, etc., then the period of abstinence may last until the final healing of all sutures.

How to deal with temporary inconveniences?

Very often, after childbirth, partners change the anatomical relationships of the genitals, which can lead to some inconvenience.

Due to the strong that occurs during childbirth, for some time it is in a relaxed and sluggish state. This often causes depression in women, because they cannot fully experience orgasm, and men, in this regard, experience discomfort - in the first months, due to the expansion of the vagina, a man may not feel close contact.

However, like the traditional one, to restore the tone of the vagina, it recommends that women do special gymnastics, the meaning of which lies in the voluntary seduction of a single muscle of the perineum, covering the entrance to the anus and into the vagina.

Very often, after childbirth, not only physical problems arise, but also psychological problems. Such difficulties can arise for various reasons: some young mothers fear that their genital injuries have not yet healed to the end, others are simply afraid of pain, and some, due to postpartum depression, generally lose their sexual desire. Many young mothers get so tired during the day that they do not want absolutely anything, and even sex.

But we can assure you that all these problems are temporary. Every woman's body is unique, and each of them needs a certain period of time to recover from childbirth. Someone will need only a few days for this, and some 2-3 months. You just need to be patient, and not only to the young mother, but also to the husband!

Almost half of young mothers have problems in their intimate life in the first 90 days after the birth of a baby. And for 20% of them, they last about a year. Tormented by not always justified experiences, young mothers are afraid to sleep with their husband after childbirth. With a careful approach, and following the recommendations, you can start an intimate life again pretty soon.

Reasons for repulsion from sexual activity after childbirth

Establishing an intimate life with your husband after childbirth is definitely necessary. After the birth of a small woman, a woman needs time to restore her body. Postponed labor is accompanied by stress. The childbirth process changes the woman's body. Often after the birth of children, couples face certain problems during lovemaking.

After childbirth, intercourse can be repulsive to a woman due to the following reasons:

Extremely unpleasant sensations due to dryness in the vagina;
Changes in the anatomy of the vagina;
The onset of pain during intercourse.

Due to the dryness in the vagina, having sex does not bring the sensations that young parents expect. But this is a temporary phenomenon. After the birth of children, a lack of the hormone estrogen occurs in a woman's body. This leads to dryness and unpleasant sensations during lovemaking. The problem is solved with artificial lubrication. In pharmacies and stores, the selection of such gels is quite large.

Using an intimate gel will help correct the situation.

During childbirth, anatomical changes in the vagina occur, it stretches when the baby passes through the birth canal. After a while, the vagina will return to its original shape. For a quicker return to form, it is recommended to do Kegel exercises. You can start doing these exercises before childbirth. This will help alleviate the problem of severe stretching and quickly return the vagina to its original shape. In the case of severe ruptures, recovery may take 2-3 months.

We decide: when after childbirth you can live an intimate life

You can resume intercourse after childbirth at least 4 weeks later. The average period is 6-8 weeks. During this time, as a rule, bleeding stops, the discharge becomes normal.

Intimate contact should not be allowed before 4 weeks.

This is the minimum that is required to cleanse the uterus from blood and restore it. Before 4 weeks, there is a serious risk of infection, as the uterus has not yet had time to recover from the separation of the placenta.

The time to resume intimate life depends on:

Features of the body;
From the complexity of childbirth;
In what way the woman gave birth.

Sexual life is better after examination by a gynecologist. You can return to normal life after 6-8 weeks. This is provided that the bleeding has stopped.

The nuances of sexual activity after a cesarean section: how many days you can not do "it"

Returning to intimate relationships after cesarean is also possible after 4-8 weeks. Gynecologists say that you can live an intimate life immediately after the discharge has ended, and there are no problems with the stitches. This concerns the readiness of the body for sexual activity.

But, a very important point is what kind of mood a woman has psychologically.

The appearance of stretch marks and stitches after surgery or cleaning, tampons do not add the desire to have sex. The inability to go in for sports and go on a diet contributes to the development of complexes, and as a result, the refusal of intimacy. Such problems need to be addressed with a psychologist.

In order not to harm your health and return to close relationships:

You need to wait until the discharge after the operation is completely over.
Be sure to check the condition of the seams. This requires ultrasound.
At first, for sex, it is better to use classic positions.

At first, intercourse can be painful and uncomfortable. But soon the body will return to normal. You should not start having sex earlier than 4 weeks after cesarean. During this period, you can bring an infection. And you should not experiment with poses, the female gender notes that after a cesarean it can be painful to finish, sit, start repeated contact, an episiotomy orgasm is accompanied by abdominal pain, it is difficult to restore love for Cooney, sit down and start masturbating (forbidden in Islam, but the reviews are positive). In case of pain, you need to wait with having sex.

What is sexual rest after childbirth

If a woman has tears during childbirth, and she had to resort to suturing, then intercourse causes discomfort. It happens that it is painful for a young mother to have sex even if the seams are very small. In such a situation, it is better to wait until the damage is completely healed.

The stitches can touch the nerve endings, which leads to painful sensations.

It is absolutely important to observe sexual rest after childbirth. This is a period of 4 to 8 weeks. At this time, there is a discharge caused by the appearance of a wound in the uterus after the placenta has separated. Any penetration into the vagina can cause infection and inflammation, and increase bleeding.

In this case:

You will have to choose positions so that there is as little discomfort as possible.
It is very important for a man to pay as much attention as possible to the feelings that a woman experiences, to act carefully.
The closeness is necessary at the beginning as careful as possible.

That is why abstinence is necessary during this period. This period of abstinence applies to women who gave birth without complications. If during childbirth a woman received breaks, then the period increases until the injuries received are completely healed. In any case, it will be correct to first undergo an examination by a gynecologist.

Features of life after childbirth

It is very difficult for a woman after childbirth. Often, a woman is psychologically uncomfortable. From this, the relationship between the spouses can be very “shaken”. Very often a woman is complex because of her appearance and excess weight. To restore an intimate life, the psychological attitude and mental balance of a young mother are very important.

A hormone also plays a role, which prevents the appearance of passion in a woman during the period of breastfeeding. But, the state "I do not want", as a rule, passes quickly. A woman, despite her fatigue, figure, and other far-fetched troubles, must first of all remember that she is a woman. In fact, intimate intimacy with her beloved husband is very necessary and important for a woman.

Doctor's consultation: when can you sleep with your husband after childbirth (video)

It is important for men to remember that after childbirth, intimacy should be approached more carefully and patiently. Sexual life, which was before pregnancy, habitual postures, may be unacceptable after childbirth. It is better to give up the usual postures for a while. But, petting is not prohibited by anyone. Gentle, affectionate relationships with each other during the postpartum period are extremely important for family relationships. An intimate life after childbirth is not only possible, but also very important. She gives rise to new relationships in the family.

After giving birth, much in family life changes. This applies not only to everyday problems and difficulties associated with caring for a child. Many women, after the appearance of a new family member, experience difficulties in returning to sexual activity.

Problems of this kind are usually caused by completely natural physiological and psychological reasons. Both spouses are simply not ready for sexual relations - the memories of the pain experienced by the woman and the obvious fear of the man to bring suffering to his beloved woman are too fresh in their memory. But all difficulties and fears are easily surmountable.

Gynecologists advise postpartum abstinence for 6 weeks. This time is necessary for the woman's body to recover. This applies not only to women who gave birth naturally, but who gave birth by caesarean section. Of course, each couple independently determines their readiness to restore marital relations, but do not rush. Often the concerns are far-fetched, but worth paying attention to. So, how to improve your sex life after childbirth:

1. Weakening of attraction is a completely natural state for the postpartum period. There is no reason for panic or self-flagellation here. Love and trusting relationships will help a woman cope with the insecurity associated with dissatisfaction with her appearance. In addition, you need to remember that the newly-made mother experiences a tremendous load in the first months, she gets very tired. Concentration on the child is explained not only by maternal instinct, but also by the production of a special hormone - prolactin. After a while, when the body adapts to new circumstances, it will give a sign itself.

2. Painful sensations associated with insufficient production of vaginal lubrication.

The production of vaginal lubrication is reduced due to lower levels of the female hormone estrogen. In this case, girls are especially affected, whose menstruation comes later than half a year after giving birth. It is the resumption of the cycle that is an indicator of the normal functioning of the reproductive system.

3. Appearance of the postpartum period.

It often takes a mother a sufficient amount of time to get used to her new look, to correct flaws, which, one way or another, become companions of women who have given birth. The mood is spoiled by the ubiquitous stretch marks, which are quite difficult to cope with, a sagging tummy and flabby skin that has lost its elasticity. At this moment, the main thing is not to succumb to stress and not to rush to run to gyms and fitness. Now, more than ever, a woman's body requires the most careful and caring attitude towards itself. In the maternity hospital, they talk about a set of exercises that are shown after childbirth. Doing them will help support and strengthen your muscles.

4. Relationship between spouses.

Each of them is cautious in the postpartum period. It is natural. Both get used to the role of parents. The spouse tries to behave inconspicuously, not wanting to disturb the already tired wife. Do not be afraid to involve a young dad in caring for a child. This will make life easier for you and relax him.

5. New sensations.

The novelty of the sensations of touching different parts of the body for some women becomes very pleasant, while for a number of others they cause discomfort. Only trust and communication will help you relax and return to your old life.

6. Chest.

Many women, preparing for motherhood, are very worried about the shape of their breasts. In fact, the shape of the breast changes insignificantly with the birth of a child and its feeding, and it is quite possible to correct it using special exercises not only after childbirth, but especially during pregnancy. The condition of the breast, as well as the appearance of stretch marks, directly depends on the elasticity and firmness of the skin. In an effort to regain the former beauty of your breasts, do not give up breastfeeding! Here you need to approach the problem in a different way. Apply the baby to the breast more often, be sure to express the remaining milk, which is useful not only for its shape, but also for successful lactation. Never end breastfeeding abruptly, do not overtighten the breast. This will reflect badly on her condition. Refusal from sexual relations can also be caused by the fact that a state of heightened arousal can increase the flow of milk, as a result of which milk puddles form on the bed. Do not be afraid or ashamed of this. It's all to blame for oxytocin, which causes not only childbirth, but also lactation at the time of orgasm.

If your relationship before the birth of the child was not darkened, then the restoration of sexual contact will be painless, no matter how difficult it is to decide and you will not start thinking about the question of how to improve your sex life after childbirth. If you realize that you are ready for sex:

1. Find a method of contraception that works for both of you. Protection should not be abandoned even if you continue to breastfeed and your menstrual cycle has not yet returned. It has been proven that the period of lactational amenorrhea does not completely protect against repeated pregnancy. There are several methods of contraception: an intrauterine device, birth control pills, condoms, and the less effective method, spermicides. Your gynecologist will help you choose the contraceptive medication that is right for you. Remember that many pills cannot be combined with breastfeeding. It is best to use condoms in conjunction with extra lubricant to get started. This will not only reduce the manifestations of pain, but also prevent bacteria from entering the vagina, which, multiplying, can damage unhealed tissues.

2. Choose the right time when your child is sleeping or being supervised. Sometimes it is necessary to completely relax. Turn on the music softly, light the candles. Remember how much joy it gave you before and trust your feelings. Do not strive to get an orgasm the first time, think only about the pleasure that you give yourself.

The difficulties that have arisen in your relationship are easy to overcome, the main thing is how gentle and patient you are with each other!

Having a baby is one of the most exciting, enjoyable and important stages in a woman's life. But very often after giving birth, her libido decreases. Many people say: “I don’t want a husband”. What is it connected with and what to do about it? Let's try to figure it out.

First, remember that it’s normal to have less desire after having a baby.

Second, there are two main groups of causes: physiological and psychological.

Physical layer

On average, a woman needs 90 days to recover from a baby. During pregnancy, there is a real hormonal boom in the body, but after childbirth, the level of most hormones returns to prenatal levels. Of course, during pregnancy, having adapted to higher doses, we experience "withdrawal": loss of strength, depression, decreased libido. It takes time for the body to rebuild again.

Depending on how the childbirth went, the woman may experience discomfort during intercourse, and this can lead to fear and rejection of intimacy. Our caring subconscious simply turns off attraction to insure us against possible pain. By the way, during breastfeeding, oxytocin is produced in a woman's body - a hormone of intimacy and affection, it helps to experience deep feelings for a child, but at the same time dulls libido.

Another nuance that women face after childbirth is an enlarged vagina. Muscles diverge and our sensitivity decreases. This problem affects us not only on the physical level, but also on the psychological: we begin to consider ourselves asexual and avoid intimacy, and our subconscious, as always, protecting us from discomfort, turns off desire.

And of course, simple human fatigue cannot be disregarded. What are the feats of bed, if all we can do in the first months after childbirth is to fall into bed and fall asleep !?

All these problems either go away with time, or, if more than three months have passed after the birth of the child, they require consultation with a specialist.

Psychological level

It is more difficult to deal with psychological problems, because they are more individual. Let's try to highlight the main ones:

— dissatisfaction with yourself and your figure- during pregnancy and after childbirth, our body changes and it is stupid to deny it. We are ashamed of our tummy, the pounds we have gained, the changed chest, which hurts and "interferes". Moreover, in constant worries about the baby, when there is absolutely no time to put yourself in order or just relax and sleep.

— changing priorities- before, all our attention went to the husband and our beloved, but now we have a new family member "dominating". What thoughts about her husband (he is no longer small, he can handle it himself) and even more so about sex, if the child not only takes up all the time, but also occupies all thoughts.

— lack of usual life- The birth of a child turns everything upside down: before you had a job, a gym or a hobby, meeting with your friends, going to the movies with your husband, but now? Now the baby, diapers, mixtures, washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, instead of the films "Peppa Pig", instead of shopping, a new stroller and baby things, instead of a cafe with friends - a playground. Of course, all this cannot but affect the psychological state. Many women begin to get angry with their husbands, and what kind of intimacy can be if your own husband is annoying !?

What to do?

To begin with, I repeat once again, to understand that this is a natural process and the vast majority of women are faced with similar problems.

Yes, being a mother means taking care of a child, but you are not only a Mother! You are also a young Woman, Wife and Mistress! Remember this. Allocate not only your time, but also allow yourself to think about something other than the baby.

There are several important steps to normalize the state and harmonize relations:

Exhale - stop and exhale... Sometimes you just need to calm down and realize that everything is not as bad as it seems. Yes, it is difficult, but the child requires constant attention and care, yes, there are much more everyday troubles, and there is a sorely lack of strength, energy and normal sleep, but the situation will not change if you continue to drive yourself.
Try to reduce the load- of course, you want to become an ideal Mom, but don't you want to be a happy Mom? If there is an opportunity to refuse any additional responsibilities, to shift some of the worries onto the grandparents and relatives, do it. Your fear for the child is in many ways just a maternal instinct. The world will not collapse if you devote half an hour to yourself, and one of the relatives will sit with the baby.
Take care of yourself, even if you don't want to and you don't have the strength... Yes, the child does not care what kind of T-shirt you are wearing and how many days you have not washed your hair, but it should be fundamentally important for your man and you yourself. Do not let yourself forget that you are, first and foremost, a Woman! Gradually get your body in shape - thanks to regular physical activity, hormones will also return to normal. Take time for your nails or makeup and do it for yourself first. A well-groomed appearance will give you a sense of "reality" back. Only when you feel like a Woman can you want sex. Start training your intimate muscles - this will not only improve blood circulation and blood oxygen saturation, but also accelerate the recovery process, give extra energy and restore sensitivity and sensuality.
Ask for help and accept it... After the birth of a child, a woman goes headlong into caring for the baby, her whole life revolves around his needs and desires. What is your man doing at this time? Feels forgotten and unnecessary. Still, his woman now does not belong to him, and to love a child who sleeps, cries, eats, does not say anything and it is not clear what he wants, Oh, how difficult it is for a man, because nature has not rewarded him with a maternal instinct. It seems to a woman that she is forced to pull everything on herself, she buries herself under a heap of affairs, is angry with her partner for the lack of help and support, but, believe me, the Man would be glad to help, but corny does not know how and with what. Ask for help! Do not blame, do not run over, do not demand, but specifically ask, let your Man feel his need and importance in the life of yours and your baby. And, of course, thank him for that.
Try to find time for communication alone with a Man, discussing not only diapers and “what the child ate”. Be genuinely interested in your partner's affairs, try to add romance to your time together. The closer you are to each other, the stronger and deeper the relationship will be. Talk to him frankly about what is happening to you and how you feel, do not fence off or build unnecessary walls. Do not speak from the perspective of the victim or the accuser, share your feelings, tell and explain. Perhaps it is together that you will find a way out of this situation, and the feeling of closeness and support from your partner will awaken sexual desire in you.
Diversify your sex life. Even if you are not ready to engage in sexual intercourse, this does not mean that you need to close in yourself and pretend that it should be so. Try to get out of this state gradually. Imagine that you are schoolchildren and just kiss your man, give him a massage, please with manual caresses or oral sex. Take your time to regain your arousal, but don't push your partner away. Ask him to just be gentle and affectionate for a while, without sexual overtones.
Create conditions... If you sleep with a baby or put a baby cot next to yours, then you definitely won't want to sleep with your husband. Still - the child can wake up! Therefore, try to have the child sleep in another room (use a radio nanny). There is no way to rearrange the crib? You can always be alone in the kitchen or bathroom. And new impressions, and a little extreme, and variety. Of course, it is important not only to retire to another room, it is important to remove all extraneous thoughts from your head. Allow yourself to think only of your partner and your own pleasure. You deserve it, if only because you have been the perfect Mom all day!

« I am 22 and have two children. After the first birth, I did not feel comfortable in bed. After the second, everything changed for the better. I started to get an orgasm. Now I don’t even remember how I used to run from my husband and thought “even if he didn’t want to, even if he didn’t want to”. It took me 3 months to fully recover, I did exercises for intimate muscles, but rarely", - our reader Julia shares her feelings.

About how the quality of sex changes after childbirth, whether the number of children born affects intimate life and what a young mother should do to quickly get in shape, we asked an obstetrician-gynecologist at the Clinical Maternity Hospital of the Minsk Region Svetlana Selitskaya.

Biologically, a woman's body after childbirth is restored in 6-8 weeks.

In the postpartum period, physiological changes occur in a woman's body in any case. How the young mother herself perceives them depends on whether the birth was natural or took place by cesarean section.

In addition, according to the doctor, it is important whether the delivery was complicated or took place without complications. If the baby was born naturally, physiological changes are minimal and the woman's body recovers quickly (in 6-8 weeks).

It turns out that changes in the relationship of sexual partners, mood and climate in the family will depend only on the psycho-emotional state of the woman in the postpartum period.

If childbirth was complicated and the woman has tears, soft tissue damage and surgery, recovery takes longer than 2 months. After undergoing a cesarean section, patients sometimes complain of heaviness in the lower abdomen after intercourse or frequent urination. This may be due to the presence of a scar in the lower segment of the uterus where the surgery was performed. The integrity of the tissues is affected, but this wears off over time. After all, the birth canal did not work during the operation, which means that the woman practically does not notice changes in her sex life.

It happens that, having given birth to a baby, mothers are not allowed into the ward of their husbands

Of course, it all depends on the degree of birth trauma. Difficult childbirth can lead to sexual dysfunctions. Sometimes it comes to the point that women who have just given birth do not let their husbands into the ward or for a long time do not allow them to come to them.

The doctor is sure that everyone has minor injuries after childbirth, but this is normal and recovery is fairly quick. Although, every woman has her own threshold of sensitivity and her own pain threshold.

There are those for whom we carry out manipulations even without anesthesia. There are those who cannot be touched either before, during or after childbirth.

The doctor notes that physiological changes occur in any case. After all, pregnancy lasts 9 months. After childbirth, stretching, an increase in the muscle volume of the uterus and the anterior abdominal wall can be observed. In addition, the ligaments that are responsible for the location of the internal organs are stretched. However, the anatomical physiological recovery of the body takes place over a period of 1.5 to 2 months.

The muscle mass of the uterus is restored to the size that it was before pregnancy. Connective tissue fibers return to normal, the hormonal status of a woman is normalized. There are changes in the composition of the blood, because during pregnancy, the mother's body "gave" the baby a lot of minerals. Equally important is the ratio of hormones in the postpartum period. After all, it is from this that sometimes postpartum depression occurs, which affects family relationships, the desire and opportunities for sex.

The doctor advises women to perform Kegel exercises before, during and after pregnancy. It aims to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. After training, muscles and ligaments contract more actively, the problem of prolapse of the walls of the vagina and cervix disappears. Due to this, the recovery period is easier, and the sensations in sex become brighter. In addition, you can use special simulators - "olives".

The doctor says that you can train with the technique even while cooking in the kitchen. However, only a doctor can prescribe such exercises and give recommendations on the frequency of execution.

Sex feels better after giving birth to multiple babies.

The obstetrician-gynecologist is sure that everyone decides the question of intimate life after childbirth individually. However, as a rule, the birth of the second and subsequent babies is easier for many women. Accordingly, returning to a fulfilling life is also not so difficult.

Traumatism is minimal, all areas in the clitoris and vagina area recover faster, and sex is, as a result, brighter. There is no feeling "like the first time".

The doctor believes that the mistake of many couples is that they postpone the onset of sexual activity, preferring to take care of the child.

One of the most important aspects is the psychoemotional state of sexual partners in the postpartum period. Mothers tend to give their full attention to the child. They stop taking care of themselves, stay awake at night, breastfeed and gain weight. On this basis, psycho-emotional problems arise in relationships and in sex as well. Men, on the other hand, are sometimes afraid to touch their wives so as not to distract from the child.

Over time, the recovery period passes, more time appears, I want to show myself and the baby, take a walk together. I am convinced that if there is love and understanding in a family, there are no problems in sex. If there are any difficulties, they will weigh down and intimate relationships in a couple. There is an exit. If dad understands that it is hard for mom, he should once again help around the house. The man's task is to understand and try to participate in caring for the baby, especially at first. This leads to a feeling of gratitude on the part of a woman, warmth in a relationship, affectionate psycho-emotional "explosions" and, as a result, to good, protective sex.

According to the doctor, a couple of special courses will help to improve relationships. It is here that doctors will prepare partners for the appearance of a child, teach them how to properly care for a baby in the first months of life. Thus, many questions are removed, which from ignorance can also lead to tensions in the family. The couple will have more time for themselves and the child, and the sex will be beautiful.