Harmony of matrimonial relations. Home comfort and order. Harmony of a married couple

Annotation

The book is devoted to an urgent problem - the creation and preservation of a family. A particular acuteness of this issue is associated with the grave crisis in which our families find themselves: priority is given to egocentric values, the number of divorces is growing, the birth rate is falling, the number of abortions that are performed every day is terrifying - the crisis has deep roots. Therefore, it is important to revive the value of family and marriage, to actualize their spiritual principles. How to build a relationship between a man and a woman, how to avoid the eternal conflict of "fathers and children", how to maintain emotional warm relations in marriage, what are the spiritual foundations of marriage and family - the author raises these and other questions in his work. An unambiguously positive point is that the author of this work proposes to consider family and marriage in the context of two mutually complementary aspects: spiritual and psychological. The book was written by an experienced psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences Morozova Elena Anatolyevna, who has devoted many years to the study of the problems of marriage and family. Having worked out the problem in detail at the psychological level, after her churching, the author supplemented and rethought the work, including in it the spiritual component of family and marriage. The result is a book, on the one hand, psychologically sound, competent and highly professional, and on the other hand, sanctifying the spiritual aspects of marriage in line with the Orthodox tradition, Orthodox tradition. This combination is an undoubted success.

Harmony in family and marriage. Family through the eyes of an Orthodox psychologist - E.A. Morozova

Introduction

Part I. Family and marriage: the basics

Spirit, soul and body

Main goals in marriage

Independence from parents

Family hierarchy

Free choice

Overcoming egocentrism

Falling in love and its manifestations

The first love

Signs of passion

Neurotic love

Chapter 4. True love

Signs of true love

Chapter 1. The premarital period

Marriage motives

Choosing a life partner

What's important before marriage

Conditions for a happy union

The sacrament of the wedding

The stages of marriage

The origins of selfishness

"Masks" of selfishness

Bodily differences

Mental Differences

Spiritual Differences

Family communication levels

Dialogic approach

Conflicts

Conflict Resolution Methods

Humility and patience

Family functions

Family Roles: Psychological and Patristic View

Distorted roles

Family hierarchy

Family types depending on the hierarchy

Emotional togetherness

Family and emotions

Expression of emotion

Chapter 5. "One flesh" at the level of the body

Intimate relationships in marriage

Spiritual relationships between the sexes

The consequences of unchaste intimate relationships

Contraception and its complications

Chapter 6. Abortion from an Orthodox and secular point of view

Typical arguments of abortion advocates

The consequences of abortion

Chapter 7. Family life cycle

Family crisis

Characteristics of the stages of the family life cycle

Overcoming age crises

Chapter 8. End of Close Relationships

Church on the admissibility of divorce

Adultery

Stages of breakup

After divorce

Part III. Parents and children

Chapter 1. Personality of the child in the family

Child personality development

Family-related qualities

Emotional attitude towards the child

Conditioned attitude

Inconsistent emotional attitudes

Selfish love for a child

Over caring

Emotional rejection

Chapter 2. Spiritual and psychological meaning of motherhood

Motives for the birth of a child

Views on motherhood

Reasons for abandoning a child

Chapter 3. Parenting as a special phenomenon

The concept of parental prototypes

Spiritual and psychological meaning of parenting

Chapter 4. Conception and Birth: Biological and Spiritual Aspects

Conception: Secular and Orthodox Perspectives

Formation of the fetus

Biological and spiritual aspects of childbirth

Infancy

Baptism

Chapter 5. Orthodox and humanistic education

Orthodox education

Humanistic psychology

Features of raising a boy and a girl

Chapter 6. Punishing and rewarding the child

Punishment: general concepts

Method of punishment

Hoax

Types of punishments, their impact on personality

Types of incentives, their impact on personality

Chapter 7. Parental Directives

Good intentions

Part IV. Family as a whole

Chapter 1. Psychological view of the family

Family as a system

Reasons for the appearance of the patient

Chapter 2. A Spiritual View of the Family

Family way of life

Conclusion

Harmony in family and marriage. Family through the eyes of an Orthodox psychologist - E.A. Morozova

The reasons for writing this book, according to the author, are several: the loss of spiritual roots and traditions of the values ​​of marriage, a strong family, motherhood, their coming to replace "free love", "civil" marriage. The author, on the basis of many years of experience in the field of medicine, psychology and education, ponders how to build a relationship between a man and a woman, how to avoid the eternal conflict of "fathers and children", how to maintain warm relations in marriage, what are the spiritual foundations of marriage and family.

Introduction

Part I. Family and marriage: the basics

Chapter 1. Existing Approaches to Marriage and Family

Family and marriage: from the point of view of psychology and the church

Spirit, soul and body

Main goals in marriage

Chapter 2. Conditions for the existence of marriage

Independence from parents

Family hierarchy

Free choice

Overcoming egocentrism

Chapter 3. Falling in love, passion, neurotic love

Meeting: psychological and spiritual meaning

Falling in love and its manifestations

The first love

Signs of passion

Neurotic love

Chapter 4. True love

Signs of true love

Spiritual, soulful, bodily love

Part II. Spousal relations

Chapter 1. The premarital period

Marriage motives

Choosing a life partner

What's important before marriage

Conditions for a happy union

Chapter 2. Marital relations

The sacrament of the wedding

The stages of marriage

Chapter 3. "One flesh" at the spiritual level

The origins of selfishness

"Masks" of selfishness

Chapter 4. "One flesh" at the spiritual level

Differences between a man and a woman

Bodily differences

Mental Differences

Spiritual Differences

Family communication levels

What prevents spouses from self-disclosure

What helps the intimacy of spouses

Dialogic approach

Conflicts

An Orthodox view of conflicts

Conflict Resolution Methods

Humility and patience

Family functions

I am not a psychologist by education, but I have long understood one truth for myself, it is necessary to learn from those who are great at it, who are a master in their field. These people are commonly referred to as mentors. Those. these are those who have already done perfectly what I am just about to do. And then there are advisers, and they just share their opinions. And the “best counselor” is a person who hasn't done anything himself, but knows everything: how to get married, how to get divorced and how to raise children!

Yes, I have attended not a single seminar and training dedicated to harmonious relationships in the family, but I will only share what I use in my family, or rather, how I live myself. These simple secrets are universal and help you to be calm and happy not only in your relationship with your husband, but also with your parents and friends. Of course, all these skills did not come immediately, I learned something over time, my mother's example and meeting some amazingly beautiful and happy families helped. This is my personal experience and if you take something useful for yourself, I will be immensely pleased.

We are not robots and can get upset, irritated because of the behavior of our loved ones. It is not always possible to control your emotions. It happens that I break down too, raise my voice, say everything that I do not like, and then ... often I regret. About what? No, not that I expressed my opinion and not that I told about my feelings, I regret HOW ugly I did it and thereby alienated us from each other. I recommend reading about how to quarrel correctly in the article by Anastasia Guy "We quarrel correctly, or Do not hurt me, gentlemen" .

First secret. Once I heard a wonderful thought, and since then it has become my philosophy: all problems in relationships between people arise from INTONATION(this is the first secret). You can say unpleasant words, but with a loving intonation, and no one will be offended! For example, remember an example when a police officer stopped you on the road, if he is sincerely friendly and calm, the conversation goes in a completely different positive direction. And you even gladly pay the fine. Or you can grumble in a playful and affectionate way, your loved ones will understand that you do not like the situation, but no tension.

Second secret. You can play a benevolent intonation, but if there is a storm in your soul? Even if you artificially create a positive intonation and smile internally, believe me, you will quickly calm down. Just tell yourself the words:

"I love this person, and I want him to be happy, so I will not make comments and annoy him, I will just calmly talk to him and explain to him how I feel.".

And if I don’t like it? Then this is another question and is not the topic of this article. Let's talk about love today. Have you ever received a comment? I think yes. How did you feel at that moment? Was it pleasant for you? Probably not. Did you immediately change your behavior after being reprimanded? Probably no. So it turns out that making comments to other people is completely pointless. Only one disorder on both sides.

But what to do? Do not be silent. No, we'll just talk differently. How? You can read in the article "Mine is yours, don't understand," or how to make a man understand you " .

For example, I didn’t like that my husband didn’t shower as often as I would like. So, in those moments when he came out of the bath fragrant and fresh, I began to caress and admire how delicious he smells and at the same time guess what aroma he has on him today. Or she could say: "Let's go and swim together, I'll rub your back.", and this is what he loves. Or say: “You’re so delicious, but now I can’t feel it, you don’t come from work (from the street) like that, maybe you’ll take a shower, but I’ll cook dinner for now!” Does it always work? No, not a hundred out of a hundred, but my beloved began to take a shower much more often.

Another example, I didn’t like the fact that my husband could sit down to eat alone, but I love it when we’re together. Then, of course, I begin to grumble kindly: "Well! And he didn't even ask me, I was waiting for him, waiting! Darling, I also want to eat. This is probably because you are one child in the family, and so used to it, and there are two of us in the family, and we are used to always eating together. Then I see and feel that we are a family and we are strength. Call me next time, okay? " Not immediately, but over time, snacking and drinking tea together has become a common habit.

That's why third secret simple, instead of dissatisfaction, tell us about your feelings and offer your option for action, only in a fun and loving way. Or jokingly resent, and then also offer your own version of events.

Talk about what you want, as the man himself cannot guess. Be sure to read the article on this topic by the famous author on the psychology of men Rashid Kirranov "How to talk to a man so that he understands you".

Announce in advance what you want for your birthday, write a list of options, hang it on the fridge. Believe me, this way you will make life easier for him and yourself.

You can put it like this: "Darling, you will soon choose a gift for me anyway, so I will be very happy if you present me with one of these things!"... Of course, this is if you don't like surprises. Or you are waiting for gifts just like that, so you also need to say about this, for example: “I see and feel how much you love me when you make pleasant surprises: bring a chocolate bar, flowers or a ring, for no reason!”

Or: “When you just give me flowers, I feel that you love me and appreciate! It won't be difficult for you to give me a bouquet the other day? "

Try different options, you know your man better.

The fourth secret... The main thing is to say openly and with love what makes you happy, his heart will surely respond. And it is very important that when your husband, having accomplished this feat, fulfills your request, then be generous with gratitude. Let him see your shining eyes, tell him how you appreciate his attention and be sure to take a step back. For example, cook his favorite dish, present what he has long dreamed of, create a romantic atmosphere in the bedroom, or ... you know what he adores. About what to give to her husband.

Fifth secret... Make a list of everything that you like about him, and just notice and appreciate all the actions he does for you! I put the dishes in the sink - your reaction is: "Dear, I noticed." Nailed the shelf, kiss on the cheek with the words: "Thank you, darling." The best thing about this is written in the article "Diary of gratitude, or a happy family and its secrets" .

Sixth secret. Introduce the word FAVORITE into your “communication diet”. Often I call my husband:

"Darling, ready to eat" or "My love, go, cool down"... Or sometimes I just call him: "Lyubooooov!" And he is not surprised, he is used to it and is 100% sure that I love and appreciate him. In turn, he also often calls me: "My love, drip my eyes!"... Although this was not the case before, but now he really likes it. Maybe you will surprise your beloved man if for the first time you start to address him like that, gradually introduce it into a habit and your relationship will become even warmer.

Seventh secret... Give it back! In our life, the principle of receiving is “giving”. You can give love, attention, care, warmth, money, gifts, smiles. And very soon you will begin to receive it in return, then you will want to give even more. At the same time, you will get tremendous pleasure. Look at any mother who is ready to give all this to her child, and you will see how happy she is. And if not ready, then what a mother she is! And remember how happy you are when you choose and present a gift to your loved one.

You can always give more. As they say, a smile costs us nothing, but it is very expensive... And the most important things that we can give away are in unlimited quantities. We can say that each of us has inexhaustible wealth of tenderness, understanding, love, gratitude and other precious things. Be a giver. Perhaps in your environment there are people around whom life is raging, they are drawn to them, they are in good relations with almost everyone, they are thanked and respected all the time, and you constantly see how people are happy to give them what they are rich with. My mother is an example of this in my life. For many years I have seen how acquaintances and strangers say words of gratitude about her, show their respect and admiration, bring fruits, meat, sweets, flowers and other gifts. And they do it with joy. And I know for sure that the mother did not ask any of them for gratitude. Many of them become friends. Years pass, and these people, as a token of gratitude, continue to call from abroad, invite guests and congratulate them on their birthdays. We can sit in a restaurant and get a bottle of wine from the next table. It turns out that this is just a person whom my mother once helped. A taxi may come and bring some gift from an unknown addressee. Mom can come home and at the door find a bag of potatoes, a young lamb or a box of tomatoes.

Trust me, I can continue. Perhaps you will now think that my mother is a teacher or a doctor, or some kind of director, perhaps she has some other "magaric" profession. But no, they didn't guess. The profession has absolutely nothing to do with it. This is a great example for me, I see how this quality works - to give. I learned a lot of stories from these grateful people, when the money set aside by my mother for vacation went to someone for an operation, when it was urgent to find a good doctor, send a car to another city or get medicine from abroad for a child, etc. ... etc. Mom always told me, if you can help, help! And I’m learning this from her. And around her gather the same lovers, "givers" who give in return, and there are many of them.

Just do not think that mom lives with other people's problems. Her energy is in full swing, her warmth is enough for everyone. But the main thing for her is her soul, family - her husband, adored grandson, children.

And if you shift it to the relationship between a man and a woman, the law is the same, and it works everywhere. Gently bite your husband's ear once more, while passing by, pat him on the back, climb onto his lap, kiss in the elevator, blow a kiss, give a massage, find out what to cook for him today. In general, you can choose for yourself, or come up with what suits you. My husband, for example, likes me to take care of his feet: I put my nails in order, walked with a nail file, and massaged his heels with a special cream. And I like it too!

Don't look at it as a deal, I gave it to you, so quickly return it twice. Give without expecting anything in return, disinterestedly. Then this secret works. You can be acting, kind, attentive, affectionate, be! You are a strong, happy, wonderful woman. And in this life it is beneficial to be strong and positive. The weak are always unlucky.

Not all the principles of harmonious relationships are listed here, but even the use of these seven will lead to colossal positive changes. Remember that any new system of behavior does not lead to results immediately, but only after 7-8 months of practice. After 21 days, you will develop new habits and react differently to old, familiar situations. Continue until you see the result. After all, strength and courage is not a loud roar in the forest, but a quiet voice in the evening: "Tomorrow I will try again!"

Best regards, Arina Gorova.

The main value in a family with children is communication. Without communication, the child will become withdrawn, it will be difficult for him to find a common language with his peers, he will not learn anything. It is the mistake of many parents to believe that it is enough that the child is fed, dressed and shod and their duties are fulfilled. By being honest with your children, you earn trust in the future in the first place.

Parents work full time, busy in the evenings with their own business. The house is a mess, but within this wonderfully crazy life there is an undercurrent where a strong family and contentment can be achieved.

There are several secrets that will help you maintain harmony in your family relationships with your children. By applying them in your own home, you will find that even the most uncontrollable things seem stupid to you, persistence and trust in each other will remain.

1. Development of harmony in the family through communication.

Communication is the most important source of well-being in the family. It is your responsibility to choose what your home should be like. Taking the time to invest in developing communication skills can open many doors to a successful future in relationships with children. Cooperation and trust in each other are important here.

The key to gaining the trust of your audience, whether you're speaking at a sales meeting or your kids, is authenticity. When talking to your children about an incident, use the incident alone to give your opinion. Do not recall past fights or open other incidents. Stay focused on one thing. Please provide specific information.

Stick to the facts when dealing with this situation. Spouses must necessarily consult, communicate with each other, how it will be better not only today, but also in the future.

2. Proficiency in the art of problem solving and conflict resolution.

Entire business conventions are dedicated to this single task. The tips for incorporating problem-solving techniques at home are simple: misunderstandings and overreaction are the main enemies of frustration and family turmoil. To do this, you need to control your emotions. You cannot change the behavior of your loved ones, but you can undoubtedly control your own.

3. Develop healthy self-esteem in your children.

Self-esteem helps you take on a leadership role. There should be a feeling of ease in communicating with other people, both with their peers and in the family.

4. Build resilience.

As a strong adult, family discipline must be followed. Both parents should keep the same position in the upbringing of their children, even if they are different. You cannot punish children if you are not in the mood, especially in the presence of strangers, wait until you are alone and express what was done wrong, why it was wrong and what behavior you expect in the future.

5. Develop skills to become more patient.

Listen to your little ones, be patient when they ask stupid questions.

Marital happiness is actually real. Try to change your life for the better, use tips for creating a happy family life.

Anna Basis

Holidays are left behind: a merry feast, honeymoon trip, viewing gifts from friends and relatives. You plunge into the hustle and bustle of living together, and a new stage begins: building a relationship between husband and wife. Each of us wants to create long-term relationships, but not everyone succeeds in embodying the idea of ​​a strong social unit. What is harmony in the family: how to establish and maintain this fragile atmosphere?

The history of the concept of "harmony in the family"?

The concepts of "harmony" and "psycho-type compatibility" came from several decades ago. In the 16th and 17th centuries, marriage and love were incompatible terms. It was believed that marrying a loved one was recklessness. Medieval ideals were replaced by bourgeois ideals, when a woman began to demand attention and care for herself. The man had new responsibilities, including raising children. The woman got the opportunity to study, work, express an opinion.

In the 19th century, marriage moved from a patriarchal relationship to a partnership, when spouses pull one strap for two. Here it has already become inappropriate to demand from a woman complete obedience and humility. Women began to actively show their authority and position. As Engels said, the family has become a social unit. Along with the sexual revolution in the 20th century, there is an opinion that the life of spouses should be harmonious, based on equality and mutual understanding between the two.

What kind of family relationships are there?

Family relationships proceed according to a scenario where each has its own role. Depending on who the husband and wife will be in the relationship, family life follows one of four scenarios.

Patriarchal with a bias of despotism;
Matriarchal, where the wife is a clear leader;
Healthy matriarchy;
Healthy patriarchy.

The first scenario assumes that the pope is an indisputable authority, which no one has the right to object to. Mom silently fulfills her duties and languishes in the role of a hunted mouse. and a shadow mother moving along the wall. What harmony we can talk about here! It is simply impossible to establish and achieve mutual understanding.

The second scenario offers a mirror image of the main characters: a wife-leader and a hunted man. The wife holds the reins of government in her hands, and the man completely shifted his responsibilities onto women's shoulders. Is it possible to maintain harmony in such a family and is there happiness? The wife has all the rights, but at the same time must be responsible for everything, including for the husband, who is not able to lend his shoulder at a difficult moment. Such a marriage has existed for as long as a man can endure.

The third scenario fully allows for the creation of a harmonious family. The wife earns more than her husband, solves problems, but asks for advice from her husband and listens to him. The spouse found a second "mother" on whom you can take on some of the problems and who will endure whims. in such a family it is possible. Problems arise when children grow up. They adopt the parental model of behavior and transfer it into their lives.

The fourth option is the most common and most correct one. The man is the breadwinner, the head who makes responsible decisions. A sorceress woman creates and maintains harmony in the family. At the same time, she is the neck that guides her spouse correctly, giving the right advice.

How to establish harmony?

In the dictionary of S.I. Ozhegov, harmony is harmony and consistency with something. If we talk about harmony within family life, then it means mutual understanding and respect, consistency of spouses and children. Many people understand that establishing harmony is the primary task, but only a few do it. Young spouses bring discord in a benevolent atmosphere, guided by the attitudes and stereotypes of behavior that are laid down by the parental family.

Since the inception of a marriage, they have been putting pressure on the shoulders of young people, hindering the development of harmonious relationships. They bring suffering until the husband and wife decide to live according to a new scenario. Another obstacle is internal complexes that prevent partners from meeting each other halfway. The vicious, vicious circle of mutual reproaches can last for years and tens of years.

Mature individuals can stop the flow of resentments and reproaches. After all, the actions of both spouses are capable of establishing and maintaining harmony in the family. Mutual solution: “I want to live next to a person for the joy of myself and him” is able to restore broken relationships and create a harmonious atmosphere.

Accepting these rules, one should confide in each other, allow the partner to express their positive and negative opinions, and conduct a dialogue. Maintaining harmony begins with ourselves, so each partner needs to strive for harmony and tranquility in their souls.

Harmony and love in marriage

The main feeling in the family is love. In love, it is easy to take care of your spouse, children. It's easy to be faithful and stand up for a relationship. Feeling love, a person is able to share the suffering of his other half and have compassion for him. Mutual love allows you to protect a relationship so that nothing gets in the way. Love consists in the fact that the wife and husband feel the value of each other, they see the potential for development. Over the years, passion turns into a deeper feeling, in which harmony is maintained.

In love, it is easy to value your companion, respect, accept him with flaws and give him freedom. An obstacle on the way to harmony is mistrust, misunderstanding, manipulation of feelings and substitution of concepts. Hence follows: jealousy, fear of loneliness and loss. A happy family is based on love and respect for values, the provision of personal space and freedom. If a person lives in harmony with himself, it is easy for him to bring peace into his life.

How to maintain harmony in family relationships?

Family life is difficult to keep from conflicts and misunderstandings. But if you set a goal, go for it. Start with respect for your husband, wife, children. Respect the desires, needs of others. Children, seeing the relationship between parents, will understand how important it is to maintain peace and mutual understanding.

Learn to talk, share happy and sad experiences. Listen to other family members without annoyance. Learn to listen without prejudice or judgment. Take your time to show anger or anger. Maintain fragile peace and harmony so that the built order does not break. After all, conflicts, misunderstandings, hidden grievances destroy a person from the inside, destroy his relationship and lead to mutual irritation.

Maybe it will become easier if you discuss the accumulated problems with loved ones in a calm atmosphere? After speaking the problems, you get rid of oppressive feelings and find a solution. If there is a misunderstanding or tension between family members, express how you feel.

The accusations should not consist of just recriminations. Explain why you think this way and not the other way. Open communication and discussion is a step forward. Learn to understand your opponent, and then demand understanding for yourself. After all, our vision of the world is not always similar to the vision and perception of another. Strive to discuss conflicts, not prove the case. After all, your victory in an argument can destroy a relationship. Find compromises and don't compromise the harmony you create.

Everyone has the right to be himself, respect that. Praise and support each other. Don't hide your sincere feelings. After all, it is important to realize that there is a place where you will be listened to and understood. Keep it and appreciate the actions of loved ones.

Spend more time with your husband (wife), children. Memories of a joint vacation, Sunday, a bright holiday strengthen the marriage and become a guide among family life. Communication makes it possible to assess the role of loved ones in life, to understand their importance.

Learn to maintain your individuality as part of the family. Be a person to stand up for marriage at the right time. Maintain family harmony and family bonds will be strengthened.

There is no single solution to family problems for every task. Each couple should look for their own way out of the situation, based on their own feelings. Remember that you should fight not with external indicators of the conflict, but with its true causes. Look for the source of misunderstanding in yourself and discuss problems immediately.

Psychologists say that love and patience are the foundation for a happy married life. Listen to your loved one, and boldly compromise. Everyone has conflicts, but this is not a reason for divorce. On the way to a happy life and a long marriage, only misunderstanding and selfishness can become a hindrance. If you love each other and want to be together, you will strive to correct behavior and accommodate.

19 February 2014

Starting a family

The creation of a family is a programmed attempt to reconnect into one whole the masculine and feminine essence of a person, which were once a single whole, halves of one essence. However, this connection should be made of harmoniously matching parts; you cannot glue together the parts of a broken crystal vase with parts of a coffee cup, even the finest porcelain.

As the world consists of three environments: rational, spiritual and material, so the parts-qualities of a man and a woman, united in marriage, must exactly fit, correspond, be perceived as a whole in a spiritual, rational and material environment, or, in other words, they must be harmonious ...

Harmony of a married couple

Harmonious in material world husband and wife in appearance and likeness, height, body constitution, in intimate relationships completely correspond to each other. Frigidity of a husband or wife is not a physical defect, but a symptom of their inharmony in the material world.

Harmonious in the spiritual world husband and wife laugh and cry over the same thing, admire beauty at the same time, equally experience the successes and losses of their own or their loved ones.

Harmonious in world of reason husband and wife always make the same decision, regardless of who voiced it first, they always have the same view of the events taking place around them, they often even think about the same thing at the same time.

In a harmonious family, each spouse helps the other to fulfill his destiny, or, as an image, to grow a tree of destination with appropriate fruits - results, while playing the role of a root system, or vice versa, another spouse becomes the root system.

And most importantly, only in such a harmonious family are born noble children - this is what the Lord bestows on a harmonious husband and wife. For they carried out the Will of the Father, about which Jesus spoke: "That which is connected above (in Heaven) must be connected below (on Earth)." He is sure that in a harmonious family the child will not have a question: who to be? Parents will find out the purpose of the child and ensure its realization, that is, help him become a genius in his intended sphere.

Inharmonious family

Inharmonious family, in fact, not a family, but a "closed joint stock company", the purpose of the founders of which is the construction of an "office" for communication and profit, with constant conflicts on topics: the distribution of the share of labor input and profit, the share of responsibility and guilt for lost profits. An inharmonious "hybrid" of the family is constantly in a conflict situation, one part needs a lot of sun, the other a lot of shade, one needs a lot of moisture, the other is contraindicated in moisture, and so on. The hybrid naturally gives birth to its own fetus - a child in which inharmonious properties and appearance are also inherited, it is not clear with which of the parents it is harmonious, and most often with none.

But you should not “pull your hair out” if a person finds out that a spouse with whom he has lived for more than one year, or even a dozen years, is not in harmony with him. We must always remember that everything that the Lord does for us is for the better, so we need to calmly look at the situation from the outside - what such relationships can teach, what can be done better and more tolerantly. Any good is cognized and evaluated, as a rule, only when there is a state of internal dissatisfaction that precedes it, which, in fact, was the most powerful motive force of a person to receive the good.

Definition of harmony

Knowledge of harmony still does not guarantee a person perfect and wonderful relationship with his “soul mate”, because harmony, as well as purpose, is potential, which needs to be revealed, for the sake of which you need to work and try to find it, with God's help. Therefore, the knowledge of harmony is so necessary for young people entering into marriage, because they can be more conscious about this issue; such knowledge is also necessary for people already living in marriage, but only when they mutually want to understand why family life is not going well and how the relationship can be corrected.