When you love from a distance. Books about love at a distance. Is love at a distance possible

12.05.2019

Young people will find it strange that not so long ago, love at a distance was a rarity. Thanks to modern communications, today it is a common thing. We will give them a short excursion and tell them who could have had a relationship separated by kilometers.

Long distance relationships

The only way to get to know each other and start a relationship without close contact in those days was through letters. Many girls found the addresses of the guys, and the women of the men began to write letters to them. The epistolary genre was very popular in those years. And there was no other opportunity to fully express your own thoughts, to talk about everyday life and holidays. Telephone calls were expensive, and not everyone could boast of having one.

So, thanks to a clean sheet torn from a notebook and a ballpoint pen, a lot of relationships were built that turned into love. Many older people are happy to tell how it was. On paper, the amazing romance of the relationship was laid out. And what is remarkable, in the lines, each of the sides of the love tandem laid out "his soul.

Who did you correspond with?

The situations were different. Correspondence could begin after acquaintance with a photograph of a young man or girl. Some of them became the initiator of a relationship on paper. Over time, if fate was on the side of two keen people, a real acquaintance took place. It could be a guy who served in the army with a relative or friend of the girl. Or a sister, a friend of a colleague, who sent her photograph to the army to a young man.

The next option is acquaintance through newspapers. In the past, there was no worldwide Internet. People wishing to brighten up their loneliness began correspondence after meeting with the announcement of a man or woman. As a rule, older persons found each other there more often, the youth did this very rarely. In those days, it was considered shameful, and adults did not particularly want to give themselves away. But if you think about it, what's wrong with the fact that men and women are looking for their destiny and are tired?

Another option for acquaintances, which was widespread in those days, was communication with persons serving sentences in places not so remote. Yes, it was not entirely safe, but you should understand that there are both good people who made a mistake, and real criminals, with whom you should not associate your fate.

Desperate women who lived in complete solitude and had no support were forced to write letters after reading an advertisement in a special section of a newspaper. What can I say - the outcome was also different. But still, the majority managed to build a normal, albeit not cloudless, relationship. Women's intuition and logic played a big role in this.

After all, everyone understands perfectly well that there can be no question of any close connection and prospects for the future if the lady did not reliably find out the character of the man. And this was not difficult to do after reading his letters carefully. Of course, some relationships ended tragically. Having read the letters, stunning in content, which were written under dictation by an experienced "literary expert", she had no idea what kind of monster she was associating with. Taking in her house a seemingly decent and open person, she risked both her property and her life. If someone of his contemporaries believes that thanks to the universal means of communication this is impossible, he is deeply mistaken.

Holiday romances

This type of connection initially arises on the proximity of people. After talking while serving business days, or being in an atmosphere of relaxation and relaxation, men and women enter into close relationships. But right away it is worth making a reservation that this type of relationship, for the most part, has no future prospects. More often at the end of the holiday season, lovers go home, followed by a long separation. Contact is possible only if each of them is free. There is no already existing strong love, marriage relationship. And married people can only negotiate and spend every year at the same resort.

Business trip

In our society, there is an opinion about the behavior of people who are constantly traveling on business trips. And not without reason. Most are sure that this man or woman has a connection in the city where they most often go. The relationship lasts as long as they drive, then there are pleasant or not "very" memories. The situation in which wives or mistresses exposed their loving friend has long been the subject of many anecdotes and divorces.

How relations are developing now

We live in an age of speed, rapid and radical change. Some even fear that a real, pure and true feeling of love is impossible in our time. Let's hope this doesn't happen for at least the next million years. In any case, today there is still no cause for concern. So, what are the current opportunities for the development of relationships at a distance, we list the most relevant.

This is how fate turned out

It so happens that people who have shown feelings for each other break up for some reason. Everyone has their own destiny, and there is no way to meet. And so, throughout their lives, they are waiting for a meeting and only by some miracle, they manage to find happiness again.

This was the case before, when there was no way to communicate via the Internet. But even here it often ended in fiasco. After all, they have become different, having lived a long life with another person, their characters have changed. And youth - it is deceiving. It's one thing to meet as a girl and a guy, spend time on a bench, sigh with passion. Another is a meeting with an accomplished person, with new habits, preferences, etc.

We propose to learn how such a story could end from an interesting story from real life.

“Olga Peresvet and Andrey Utyugov have been in love with each other since school. At the end of school, everyone entered the university of their choice and the meetings continued. Then it was time to practice practice - this was the case in Soviet times. It took 2 years. And, as a rule, they were sent to remote small cities. But if a student or student was married, then they were left in their native places.

But Olga and Andrei literally had a big fight before the distribution. And because of a trifle. So they parted, and Olga, out of spite, married a local young doctor. 34 years have passed, she seemed to be happy, but all her life she remembered about him, about Andrei. And grief happened - Oli's husband died. Left alone, she decided to go to her betrothed, for whom she had suffered all her life.

She knew from her relatives where he lived. As it turned out, he was also married, and more than once. Behind several ex-wives and three children. This did not frighten, but rather made our heroine happy. Well, of course - the beloved is free, now nothing interferes with their happiness. Olga's children are also adults and will only be in favor if their mother becomes happy again.

And then there was a meeting. Olga lived a full, beautiful life. And her appearance retained its beauty as much as possible. But Andrei looked terrible, there was a feeling that he was pretty battered by life. "But nothing, thought Olya, with me he will be happy and quickly regain his shape!"

Less than a week after their reunion, the heroine of our story cried bitterly about another husband-doctor who had gone into the world. She had the opportunity to compare the one with whom she considered herself unhappy and the one she dreamed of. Andrey is the embodiment of selfishness, rudeness, rudeness. Even in his youth, he did not shine with good morals, but over the years "overgrown" with a thick layer of ignorance. Now it is clear why his wives kept leaving him.

Olga left her unmasked lover and devoted her life to her children and grandchildren. And yet, she returned to the common house with her deceased husband, and every day she went to his grave. Olga cried and asked for forgiveness, because she did not understand how wrong she was. After all, her life passed alongside an honest, decent, courageous, generous and intelligent person who loved her immensely! "

How do you like the story? Agree, it is very instructive.

Internet

Well, for whom the news is that almost from an early age, children sit on social networks and communicate with those whom they do not know at all. There is a huge mass of online dating clubs, with different interests. And if two people who are keen on correspondence really find true points of contact, continue their relationship and follow it for a long time, then there is a high probability of connecting their hearts in real life.

But unlike the types of communication that existed before, at the present stage, acquaintances are made in absentia, and people do not at all understand who communicates with them on the other end of the monitor. And it is for this reason that the development of connections between people began to take on problems.

There is a modern designation for such relationships, introduced into the protocols of psychologists and even psychotherapists under the name “Distance relationship”, “Relationship at a distance” and “Love at a distance”. Let's consider each of the names and find out what process accompanies them. First, let's take a look at their definitions.

Love at a distance is the type of relationship in which “correspondence” and strong sympathy arises between people, which will grow into love. But it is worth remembering that this type continues to develop only against the background of virtuality.
Long distance relationships - people are forced to develop their relationships far from each other. But the acquaintance took place in real life and their beginning was built in the traditional way.

As a rule, persons who have fallen in love with each other at a distance meet at some point in real life. Then their communication will develop into a relationship at a distance. If they were not episodic, that is, short-term.

It all depends on how they reacted to each other when they met. Expectations were justified - great - there will be a continuation. But if a meeting, as is often the case, is not attended by a long-legged beauty or a muscular handsome man, but another, less pretty person, then the meeting will be "counterproductive." But let's study a situation in which everything went more or less normally. What's next? How does this relationship develop?

How to maintain a relationship

Contrary to everyone who asserts that it is difficult for today's youth to maintain connections during their virtual development, psychologists insist that love still exists! Let it be virtual, let people not know each other. But the best feeling on Earth continues to win hearts. What contributes to the continuation of the human race. Yes, communications have done their "dirty" job. But it is unlikely that they would have continued without natural closeness.

On the contrary, scientists argue that the prospect of communication, tactile and physical intimacy is not particularly affected, it is the crown of the union. The main thing is attitude. Anyone who is really not indifferent to his future and wants to connect his life with a person related in interests, desires, preferences and life positions will achieve his goal.

There is absolutely no need to listen to those who set you up negatively for connections through communication systems. Believe me, now in the first place are marriages concluded after communication through social networks. And the sincerity of feelings, if they were destined to flood, is no different from the sincerity of love that arose between the guys from the same yard, school, institute, etc.

How much effort you need to make

The only difference between a virtual connection and a real one is the physical absence of a beloved person nearby. Yes, this is a kind of challenge, but you need to make every effort so as not to lose the main feeling in life. How to do it?

In real life, we are constantly in contact with a person dear to our hearts. We maintain tactile, conversational communication, the same voice is already a closer contact than communication on the network. At the same time, when talking, we use a number of non-verbal signals: gestures, facial expressions, touches and others. They are the main tool that allows you to "reach out" to the heart of a beloved person. In order to apply the same signals at a distance to maintain relationships, they should be modified, given a different form. How to do it?

When writing your message, stop being too laconic. At the same time, it is categorically not allowed to write lengthy, long and boring messages, more like a letter from a grandmother.
When communicating on the network, we can easily turn on microphones, headphones and communicate verbally. This is where advice for women and men will differ.

Women, in order to keep in touch with their beloved man, need to be gentle, affectionate, alluring. Moreover, thanks to remote communication, this is completely easy to do. When you turn on Skype, Viber or other video resources that allow you to contemplate the face of your loved one, you need to be ready, that is, "fully armed"! And yet, it is necessary to constantly keep the intriguing situation. Your counterpart should be a little jealous, afraid of losing you.

Get yourself in order. Never appear in front of a screen untidy, unkempt. He should only see you beautiful and attractive.
When communicating, do not ask stupid questions, take an interest in his affairs, success. And in no case try to arrange scenes of jealousy, hysteria.
Men also need to present themselves to their beloved in a neat, well-groomed form. There is no need to ask every now and then - is she waiting for you, is there a fallback. Take an interest in her successes, when necessary - rejoice, support in opposite situations.

Remember, if you communicate with a person at a distance, try to compensate for the lack of tactile communication with words. Smart, kind, warm, inspiring hope and giving confidence that he is loved or loved.

How to maintain a long distance relationship

To maintain a relationship between two people, you need a state of happiness or constant communication. And you cannot underestimate them - without them, it is impossible to build a long and lasting connection!

No unhappy person is capable of making another happy. He will bring with him to the house of his beloved a minimum of despondency, a maximum of grief, and trouble. If a person feels happy, then he can give the same feeling to another. Remember the faces of happy people. What are they? They shine, enjoy life and perceive everything easily, with an open heart. And without the main sensation, unhappy people grumble now and then, cannot breathe in all the positive moments of life.

Only short-sighted women can feel a lack of happiness, being apart from a loved one. It is categorically impossible to get depressed, to suffer if the beloved half is far away. On the contrary - radiate happy emotions and do not assume that their presence diminishes your sincere attitude towards the person. Love should instill only good and positive feelings. And you do not need to deny yourself the legal right to live happily - no one can take it away from us.

No one argues that separation is melancholy, tears, pain. But if love is real, then the bonfire of feelings at a distance will kindle even more. And if your happy state is stronger, your loved one will feel the same. Well, how can a person who has a sincere attitude towards you be satisfied that you do not have the main thing - happiness? In cases when he likes to sympathize with you more, and not to rejoice together - drive away from you!

A normal person, be it a man or a woman, will not tolerate a whiner next to him, who has everything and is always bad. Perhaps this is the main reason for the separation of people in love. Moreover, according to psychotherapists - sadness, despair, longing, things are contagious. After talking with someone who always complains, cries, suffers, we seem to pick up a negative virus. And we begin to look for the bad in our fate, character and environment - “I said the wrong thing, I’m constantly unlucky, no one understands and loves me,” and so on. If you don’t take hold of your mind and become a happy person, write-it’s gone. Either you find the same loser, or even be left alone with your negativity.

Someone will object to all of the above - "Why can't I be sad if my beloved is far away?" And no one claims that you just need to have fun, the only thing is that everything has its time. Longing, grieving, missing your beloved - just do not get carried away! Say to him during the communication “I miss”, “I want to see you”, “It’s a pity that you have been absent for so long,” etc.

Constant communication

Regular communication is a very important part of a strong relationship. It is worth missing even the slightest time - the relationship will come to naught. And even if you do not show any special talents in communication, strive to improve this deficiency.

If you do not keep up conversations, and your counterpart will be spared the honor of hearing your voice, jokes, revelations, light conversations, they will be distracted by other objects and will grow cold towards you. Through constant conversations, you will be able to enjoy, and more and more each time. And your voice will become the very saving straw that will keep your friend from melancholy and bring hope to a quick meeting in your soul.

How Often Should You Communicate

This issue is resolved only on an individual basis. It all depends on the amount of free time and internal mood. Love for real or are seriously passionate about, waiting for a prosperous prospect - pay attention to conversations and correspondence in chats regularly. This can be done in the morning during breakfast with a cup of coffee, in the evening after dinner before going to bed. The main thing is that the moments of communication are comfortable in all respects, both for you and your loved one.

How to communicate

We have already said that true feelings are built not only on passion, non-verbal signals, but also on common interests. There is a great opportunity to "visit" a cinema or a concert together. It is enough for both parties to include the same movie or video clips and comment on them in the chat. For this, there are both built-in and webcams.

Argue - but in moderation

There is no normal relationship without controversy. It is not necessary to suppress emotions completely, and at the same time, it is not worth hysteria. You need to argue intelligently - express your opinion clearly, clearly and bluntly. At the same time, know how to listen to your counterpart and enter into his position, try to understand his position as much as possible.

Never hang up or turn off video - this is the easiest, but the consequences will be unpleasant. You will either lose a loved one or cause strong aggression in him, anger in your direction. And for love at a distance - this is the worst thing. Agree better this way - at the moment we will disconnect the connection and take "ourselves in hand". Or cool it down and move the conversation to another topic, the main thing is not to bring communication to the boiling point.

Big mistake in communication

Our life is full of both big events and little things. You were in a store, met a friend, chatted about the days of the past. They brought in the dry-cleaning things in which they spent time on vacation with a loved one. To you, such things seem insignificant, but if you share about them with regular communication, then you will feel a constant connection. It will seem to you that he or she is there and participates in everything, knows about everything. Thus, an inextricable connection is built at a distance.

The worst part is being away from the person you really love. And whatever your communication, how often you would not spend time in conversations, jokes, revelations through communication - it will not be possible to fully compensate for the absence of a lover. Every now and then you will yearn, if this is not so - the feeling is not real. But remember one important circumstance - separation from a loved one is not grief. After all, he or she, who is somewhere in the distance, is alive. It is much worse to suffer for someone who has passed away. Still, fortune is on your side and gives you hope to meet with someone who is dear to your heart. As for building relationships, even at a distance, they need to be worked on and strengthened.

Goodbye to everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.

Almost all of us have had the experience of love at a distance. It seems that many fell in love with guys who lived in other cities. The acquaintances took place on vacation, on a business trip, on the Internet, etc. The relationship was maintained by correspondence, calls, sms. Can such a relationship be taken seriously? Is love at a distance possible or is it an illusion? Let's try to figure it out.

What is love at a distance - forms of relationships

Penpal love

This is a fairly common type of love. You meet a man away from home, on a business trip, internship, on vacation, etc. Maybe you even meet for a while, but in the end, everyone leaves for their permanent place of residence. And the correspondence and calls begin. The girlfriends stubbornly continue to acquaint you with the representatives of the strong half of humanity, and you continue to brush it off and prove to everyone that you have a young man for a long time!

The whole trouble with this relationship is that you seem to have it, but in fact it does not exist ... You cannot come with him to your friend's birthday, go to the theater or cinema, he will not console you when you feel very bad or you are upset about something, etc. Such love gradually fades away, because when you love, you want to be with your loved one next to him, to see him, physical contact is very important. There is only one way out in this situation - to move to someone alone, but in reality this issue is not easy to solve ...

Love - online

This kind of love is very popular these days. People spend a lot of time on the Internet, making acquaintances is much easier than meeting in person. On the Internet, people are brought together by a community of interests and a pleasant pastime in chats and forums. Here you can fool around, joke and at the same time not be afraid to look somehow ridiculous. Many people find soul mates through the Internet.

And, it would seem, what could be better than a kindred spirit? But, alas, most online dating has no chance to develop into something more significant than everyday communication in ICQ or on the forum. The first stumbling block is territorial location. If he lives in Vladivostok, and she is in Rostov-on-Don, then the maximum they can is to meet one single time, there is no talk of frequent meetings at all.

The second reason why love at a distance via the Internet ends very quickly is disappointment, which, alas, is inevitable. When communicating online, we either do not say something about ourselves, or we are simply lying. We ascribe to ourselves dignities that do not exist. Whatever one may say, but to find out what kind of person really is possible only during personal meetings and these meetings should not be one or two. It is this kind of love that creates an illusion that almost never coincides with reality.

Love from time to time

Yes, there is this kind of relationship. People meet every six months or once a year. Having met on vacation, they agree to meet again next year, or it can be meetings on business trips. Such meetings are usually bright and passionate. Probably, this kind of relationship can hardly be called love, most likely it is an adventure and a game.

Partners do not even think about tomorrow, everything is like the last time. There is something fascinating in this relationship, there is intrigue, but, alas ... there is no continuation. A lot can happen in a year or half a year, therefore, as a rule, "love at a distance from case to case" is more entertainment and nothing more.

So is there any point in love at a distance? After all, they say that separation strengthens feelings and brings people together. Personally, I don't think so. A person has one wonderful quality that helps him to survive absolutely everything - this is the ability to adapt to the situation. Living in separation, we, simply put, get used to living without a loved one. Sooner or later the day comes when we understand that life is beautiful without HIM!

Of course, we are not talking about crazy love, this does not go away even over the years, but, as a rule, love that goes at a distance is immature enough, because lovers do not have the opportunity to get to know each other well. The feelings they have for each other are saturated with illusion and rosy dreams that have nothing to do with reality.

Love at a distance gives rise to not at all exalted feelings, often it is accompanied by jealousy, mutual reproaches and lies. Well, what is worth changing, but write in a letter that every day I think only of you? That you should forget to wish you a happy birthday, and lie during correspondence that you got very sick and was bedridden, etc.

At a distance, we can come up with anything, but you can't do this when you look your partner in the eyes, everything will be clear here without words.

Stendhal described love very correctly: To love is to experience pleasure when you see, touch, feel with all your senses and at the closest possible distance a creature that you love and that loves you.

I do not argue, there are times when people correspond for a long time and, having seen only once, get married. But this is most likely the exception, not the rule. To love a person, you need to touch him, and this cannot be done at a distance. Otherwise, we either cool down to each other, or we begin to love not a specific person, but an illusion that we ourselves have created ...

How to experience love at a distance?

Now communication on the World Wide Web has become very popular, where people meet and communicate for some time. There are also different ways to keep in touch with your loved one at a distance. For example: skype, telephony, world wide web.

You just need to understand that love that arose at a distance is feelings that, with little communication, simply fade away and are replaced by indifference. In order not to come to this, you need to constantly keep in touch at a distance: call up and correspond. In no case should a break in communication be allowed, but this is because communication plays an important role in a relationship.

Without it, lovers simply move away from each other and become indifferent. Which in the end is accompanied by a break in any relationship. For a variety of communication, you can use various letters and surprises, as well as video calls.

Some tips for those who have love in the distance

Now the most popular form of communication, which even replaces natural communication, is skype. With the help of it, communication seems real, but otherwise we offer a few tips for your attention:

Try to fill your letters with photographs. Which will be both your image and the places where you are. This is so that your significant other sees the world in which you live through your eyes, this type of communication brings you closer together. Send a couple of photos every day, of which, one photo will be with you, and the second of your region or territory;

Correspond, putting all your emotions and soul. Remember that the faster you answer your inbox, the more it feels like you are communicating at the same time;

Be an interesting conversationalist, don't hide your opinion behind four walls. Show respect for your significant other and value every minute of your communication;

The most basic thing is desire. The desire to keep love at a distance, the desire to believe that everything is possible and you are always there for communication. In addition to wanting, keep the faith that you will meet, that you are together and near. In communication, desire and faith play the main role. These two things are interconnected and without them it is impossible to survive a relationship at a distance;

Video calls more often. Take time to communicate with your soul mate at least three or four times a day. Write poetry to each other, do not hide your feelings and experiences, exchange life stories and your favorite music, which will make you travel a distance between you.

Natalia Kaptsova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Everyone knows a lot about the most unexplored feeling, surrounded by an aura of enigma and mystery, and knows nothing. Everything is very clear, we are talking about love. But it’s simply impossible to speak about love at a distance - each of us has our own view of this phenomenon, which forms certain stereotypes - is such love possible or not.

Problems and difficulties of a long separation from a loved one - is love at a distance possible?

Two loving hearts are created to be always together, but there are situations when lovers are separated by a distance. Many romance novels, after a long separation, grow to incredible scale of sensory experiences and emotionality .

All long distance relationships can be divided into two types.

The negative sides of parting with a loved one

With a long separation, a certain illusion may appear that the person was lonely before. People get out of the habit of living together and start to take care only of themselves. Some painlessly go through this stage, while for others it is a reason for future depression.
Lack of intimate relationships. For people who are unable to adapt to the forced conditions, this can be the beginning of the end. In such situations, affairs may appear on the side.
One of the loving people, remaining in the same, monotonous environment, remains and waits for the return of the partner. The other gets into a new environment, makes new acquaintances and connections. It is quite possible - not only business, but also romantic. Read also:

There are also positive aspects in parting with a loved one.

Particularly helpful are short breakups. after which everything happens like the first time.
In the event of inevitable separation, all energy should be directed towards the formation of one's own personality. that will become interesting and special.
You can take up a new hobby or career ... A loved one will surely appreciate your desire.
In addition, everyday relationships sometimes need a shake-up. Household chores do not always bring harmony and tranquility to your home.

How to keep love at a distance and not lose the thread of communication - instructions for lovers

Lovers who face a long separation should follow the simple rules of communication to maintain a loving relationship.

First of all, you should clearly define the period of separation. For a partner who is forced to wait, it will be much easier to accept and endure the separation if he at least roughly knows the time and date of the return of his soul mate.
Every day should be full of meaningful communication. Even in the absence of time for a telephone conversation, you can get by with an affectionate message or a gentle letter to your e-mail. This will help the lover feel important and needed.
Short meetings can be ideal for long separations. For example, you can spend a weekend together, or holidays. The partner will have something to remember in moments of loneliness.
The partner should receive a feeling of closeness and love. Talk about what is happening every day in your life, about new ideas and impressions. In context, you can confess your love.
To feel more close at a distance, partners can agree to go to the cinema at the same time for the same film , through video communication, have dinner together, talk about everything that excites and interests. Video communication will even allow you to have a romantic date with candles and a glass of wine on either side of the monitor.

Remote love - both ordinary people and psychologists argue about it. And this question leaves no one indifferent. Because not everyone can have the strength to endure separation from a dear person. And if distance kills, then it wasn't love? Should everything be regarded so unambiguously? Does love at a distance exist at all?

Is there love at a distance or is it a myth?

Most people really believe that kilometers are not a hindrance to real feelings. And as evidence, they tell stories that happened to their acquaintances, relatives, friends, who for a long time were forced to be apart from their loved ones. But it is quite rare that the storytellers themselves appear in them as the main characters. Which suggests that distant love is somewhat mythical. Although, of course, it cannot be called an absolute invention. Love at a distance really happens - psychologists are sure. But efforts will have to be made to preserve it.

Under what conditions can love exist at a distance?

For specialists in the field of human relations, the question is not whether love is at a distance to which they answer unequivocally in the affirmative. It is more important for them to determine how to prevent this feeling from fading away. Psychologists advise:

Start a romantic correspondence - a novel in real paper letters, from which you can then make a family archive.
Call more often for no reason and send SMS.
Chat with help, chat via video communication in Skype.
Do not hesitate to tell a loved one more affectionate words.
Be sure to inform him about all the significant events of your life.
Talk about the books you read, the movies you watched, share your thoughts, etc.
Do not forget about gifts, even small souvenirs sent by mail or with friends.

It is said that for love, separation carries the same risk as the wind is for fire; she extinguishes the small one, and only inflates the big one and makes it stronger.

Close contact, mutual sympathy and attraction naturally imply the desire to be together all the time.

Alas, life is an insidious thing, sometimes making trips and more often than necessary offering tests for love. So, is there love at a distance, how long does it live and can you believe it ?!

Reasons for parting

Maybe you were offered a prestigious job in another city, and your soul mate can't instantly get under way and say goodbye to the "old" office?

Or maybe you have a long and very important business trip to another country? A solo cruise at a bargain price?

The reasons may be less rosy. For example, the forced care of a sick relative, the need to go to work. Most often, feelings are checked by separation during the army period.

Methods for keeping love at a distance:

Declaration of love in poetic forms by SMS or letters.
Constant calls and long conversations in the evenings.
The Internet and its possibilities of communication via ICQ or Skype.
Ordering gifts in the online store, from where a surprise will be delivered right to the doorstep of a loved one.

What is the main problem?

The main disadvantages at this time are the impossibility of personal communication and the vagueness of their own marital status. After all, there is a second half, but it is not nearby. There is no one with whom to go to an interesting party, visit a fashionable restaurant, even have to fall asleep alone.

Communication mainly takes place via telephone, Internet or good old mail correspondence. But is love possible on the Internet and at a distance? Rare meetings are perceived as a gift from heaven.

The risk of flirting on the side, the appearance of new friends and fans increases. Is it possible to feel love at a distance and remain faithful?

The illusion of loneliness

If your partner is not around for a long time, how can you resist the temptation to attend social events? The answer is simple, no way.

Remember, you are not a loner!

The remoteness of the second half is not a reason to lead a reclusive lifestyle, which is what ladies often sin when they remain in the role of the Decembrist's wife. You are not a loner, but a girl who has made her own free and balanced choice.

Do not put the question bluntly!

If the absence of a loved one next to you is torture and a cross on yourself, then whether there is love at a distance is a matter with you.

Perhaps you simply overestimated the depth of your feelings and the test is too much beyond your strength.

This is not a reproach at all, but a statement of fact.

Alone, you can weigh your position and assess it.

There is a risk of starting to blame the partner for the forced separation. This may indicate a weak feeling.

Are you annoyed with a person or a circumstance? Do you want to change the situation and give up your loner status? Are you burdened by a distant beloved? Alas, there is no smell of love here.

With or without him?

There are no holy people, so bitter feelings visit everyone from time to time. There is a temptation to quarrel, express your dissatisfaction and reproach your partner for something.

But a loved one remains so even at a distance. Even if it is difficult with him, but without him it is worse, which means that reconciliation is inevitable.

The second side of the illusion of loneliness presents the opportunity to begin to idealize the partner and the relationship itself. Past meetings seem like a dream, touching is bliss, and the meeting in the end will turn out to be a cruel disappointment.

On a note!
They say that without parting it is impossible to fully comprehend love, because love tempered, in trials much stronger than the weak and fragile that did not know expectation and sadness, such love crumbles to pieces like a house of cards from the slightest breath of breeze.

Sharp moments

There is even a special list of nuances that change relationships most of all, passing the test of distance:

Lack of sex... The lack of an intimate connection, the inability to make love with your partner, which theoretically exists, but is practically absent, is very difficult to endure. This is often the reason for cheating in a relationship.
The second difficulty is inability to talk... The outgoing partner changes, acquires new acquaintances and affections.
It is easier for him to adapt to the world around him, since there are fewer connections with the "past" life. The partner who remains to wait is more worried, since he connects many moments with his beloved and maintains the illusion of an unchanging relationship.
The third point is change of priorities and goals, at the same time the character also changes. For example, the situation with the departure of a guy to the army.
He is constantly busy, finds many acquaintances with similar problems, the communication style is undergoing changes, and the girl cannot get used to it. The hardest part comes just at the end of the separation, when the couple is waiting for a meeting and inevitably thinks about all the surprises that she is preparing.

Believe and feel love

The most correct way to assess the situation is to be inside it.

After all, believing in love has always been fashionable.

Romantic guys are always valued by girls, and romantic girls are classics of attractiveness.

A person does not live without love, but exists, therefore he reaches for feelings, seeks them and idealizes. Finding himself in a problematic and tragic situation, a person most often changes his point of view and literally descends from heaven to earth.

Stubborn facts

According to statistics, a separation of two years or less is relatively easy to bear, especially now, when video communication, phone sex and joint weekends with flights are available.

But after two years of a long-distance relationship, the calls become less frequent, the general ones are less and less. Waiting runs the risk of developing into severe depression.

Withdrawal occurs due to the fact that you want to share everyday joys and sorrows with those who are near. Rare meetings you want to make a holiday, and this removes true intimacy from the relationship.

You can continue to believe in love and even feel it, but you will inevitably have to admit the fact that there is less passion and soulfulness in a relationship. Women suffer more acutely, as they need more tenderness and daily care.

To answer the question - is there love at a distance, you need to continue to feel love and you will have to make a lot of mutual efforts. This is the only way to continue the relationship.

So it turns out that love at a distance turns into the work of two people, it needs to be nurtured and cherished like a baby, so that it grows into a serious, adult and vivid feeling.

How many years does love live?

Oh, how many answers to this question - is it possible to love at a distance psychologists and philosophers gave advice!

But they agree only that they do not give love a lot of time.

Someone says that love lives for three years.

Others note the crisis of three and five years of marriage, when the bonds of love weaken and the risk of separation increases. Many people remember the famous saying about a pound of salt eaten for two.

According to simple calculations, a couple will be able to eat such a weight in two years, which means that love that has existed for so long will live longer. The true lifespan of a feeling at a distance can only be judged by a pair.

The period of "chemistry"- This is the birth of passion and mutual desire, which is accompanied by the increased work of the endocrine glands and chemical reactions in the body.
For physiological reasons, such a period lasts no more than one and a half years, and then the body returns to normal. In other words, it is a period of lust, sexuality, and greedy possession.
Alas, this feeling can hardly be called love. It will not survive for a long time.
Real love is the fruit of joint work, backed up by trust, mutual respect and tenderness. Here the feeling of ownership, selfishness and consumer attitude towards a person are left behind.
By the way, jealousy at this stage most often fades into the background. The term of such love is difficult to name with accuracy, because it depends on the partners themselves, and not on the reactions in their body. So that can be called a period of 2 years or longer.

Online feeling

So, to prolong the life of love, you will have to work on it with the help of available means. Today the Internet connection is very helpful.

Write emails... Despite the rapid steps of progress and the computer revolution in the world, we are still pleased to receive letters from a loved one. Moreover, the best paper, written in the native handwriting.
So you can see where the hand is tired, where the thoughts are confused. But e-mails are no less pleasant to receive. So write, let there be just a line with a wish for a good day, but this is a pleasant moment for the mood for the day.
Exchange sms... Many pleasant or annoying events happen throughout the day. Share them with your loved one, ask his opinion and offer your advice in his affairs. It will bring you closer.
Exploit video communication... Now the choice is not limited to the Skype program, so equip your computer, phone and other gadgets with the necessary settings. Nothing invigorates and soothes like a conversation with a loved one and his smile.

Love at a distance is primarily a test that not every couple passes.

Sometimes the situation is not saved by the abundance of electronic gadgets and the presence of a tight wallet.

But psychologists treat the topic of separation philosophically and do not consider it a tragedy.

Distance teaches us to maintain and care for relationships. You have to work every day, look for time for communication and appreciate the minutes.

On practice

The result of a study by scientists at Cornell University is surprising: they found that couples living in separation consider their relationship to be stronger than 63% of couples who share the same living space.

Feelings are tested in practice!

The decision to leave the beloved at least for a while speaks of the seriousness of plans for a joint future, of the desire to reinforce it. True, psychologists are reminded to determine priorities for themselves before "making sacrifices."

Do you want to return to your previous partner? Isn't he an obstacle for you?

Experts are skeptical about the assurances of adolescents in eternal love and strongly advise not to make loud promises before parting, which is what girls and boys sin in front of the same army. If the feeling is real, then it does not require words, but will be proved by deeds.

You can find additional information on this topic in the section.