I love him and he is married what to do. How to behave if he is married. So, love for an unfree man is

24.06.2019

In society, it is customary to consider mistresses as negative characters. People call them predators, homewreckers, family destroyers, and so on. That is why it is sometimes so difficult for a woman to admit to herself: "I am a man ..." What to do in this difficult situation? Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this problem.

Why it happens?

In fact, much more often than we think women come to mind the phrase: "I love a married man." What to do in this situation? To begin with, it's worth figuring out why this is happening. The answer is obscenely simple. The fact is that sooner or later a moment comes when more or less noteworthy men are already "ringed". In addition, if we are talking about true love, then no stamp in the passport will be an obstacle. Do not forget that some unscrupulous husbands carefully hide their marital status, wanting to take possession of the heart of a sultry beauty. In any case, this situation is equally difficult for all participants in a love triangle.

A stranger's man often arouses more interest than one who is absolutely free from family relationships. The weaker sex also has a hunting instinct. In addition, another factor plays a significant role: if someone has chosen this person to create a family, it means that he is definitely good (at least, it may seem so at first glance). Thus, some ladies prefer to settle on a proven option than rush headlong into the unknown.

Why does a man need a mistress?

What if you love someone who is married? First you need to figure out why a man needs this relationship. According to statistics, about 80% of married men have relationships on the side. Moreover, many consider this situation to be completely normal, justifying it by the fact that males are polygamous by nature. In fact, the reasons are much simpler and more banal, namely:

monotonous family life and routine force a man to go in search of adventure with a new darling;
often after marriage, women absolutely cease to take care of themselves, and therefore husbands simply cannot resist if they see a well-groomed beauty nearby;
some men like the feeling that two women are subordinate to them at once (and maybe more);
feeling tension and some discord in family relations, a man may resort to looking for a "alternate airfield", where he will always be expected;

marriages are not always concluded for love (besides, this feeling can pass over time), and therefore, having cooled off to his spouse, a person can go in search of a new passion;
having learned about the betrayal of his wife, a man can take revenge on her by resorting to a relationship on the side;
sometimes a relationship with a mistress is just a way to diversify your intimate life.

How to proceed?

So, you dare to admit to yourself: "I love a married man." What to do in this case so as not to harm anyone? To begin with, you must clearly realize that according to statistics, only 5-10% of unfaithful husbands decide to leave the family nest and plunge headlong into a new relationship. Based on this, you can choose for yourself one of the following behavior strategies:

enjoy the moment (since you cannot build a family with this person, take everything you can from him: love, gifts, etc.);
fight for your happiness (since a man has decided on a relationship, then you have a small chance of their continuation);
find the courage to break off relations (if you value your reputation and honor, it is better to leave a married man, because in the eyes of society you will sooner or later become a real monster);
treat like like like (if you find out that the object of your passion has been happily married for a long time, try to switch to a new relationship with a man who is not burdened with family obligations as soon as possible).

It is worth understanding that this is a kind of problem if you admit to yourself: "I love a married man." Advice and advice from outsiders is unlikely to help resolve the situation. First of all, you need to understand yourself and your feelings.

Positive points

What to do with a married man? Once you've made up your mind to enter into such a relationship, try to enjoy the benefits. So, the status of a mistress gives the following positive points:

you are not obliged to serve your lover (cook for him, wash and iron things), but all the time between dates at your complete disposal;
you have no obligations to this man (if you like someone else, you can without a twinge of conscience switch to a new "love");
a relationship with a married man is a sea of adrenaline and thrills;
the fact that a man chose you over his wife inspires a sense of superiority and flatters pride;

if your chosen one is wealthy, then it is quite possible that he will bear most of the costs of your maintenance;
often men do not skimp on mistresses (they give them much more expensive and valuable gifts than legitimate wives).

Negative points

What if you love someone who is married? There is no universal answer to the question. If you are hesitant between feelings and conscience, perhaps the negative factors of such a relationship will help you make a decision. So, it's worth noting the following:

you cannot appear together in society (only at first, meetings stealthily give passion and intrigue, and later they get bored and even become humiliating);
you run the risk of acquiring an implacable and insidious enemy in the person of your lover's wife;
all evenings, weekends and holidays you will most likely spend alone;
the status of a lover in the eyes of society is very humiliating, and therefore you will feel uncomfortable (and if everyone knows about the relationship, they will point fingers at you).

The boomerang principle

Women do not always treat with due responsibility the recognition: "I love a married man." What to do in this situation? Imagine yourself in the shoes of his wife. It is possible that she is unaware of anything. What if she knows everything? It is possible that she suffers from the realization that her husband has a mistress. Maybe she is silent because of the children or her own indecision. Or maybe you are the cause of constant family quarrels and scandals.

You can endlessly fantasize about this topic, but you should always remember about the boomerang principle. How would you feel to know that your spouse has another woman?

I love a married man ... What to do? How can I forget?

There is a category of women who will go over their heads and step over everyone to get their way. If you do not belong to them, then the status of a mistress will certainly begin to strain you. To forget about a married man, follow these guidelines:

Terminate your relationship and any contact with this person as soon as possible. You don't need any last dates and fleeting meetings. The faster you cut this knot, the easier it will be to regain your peace of mind.
Destroy anything that reminds you of this relationship. Delete phone numbers and correspondence, get rid of gifts (if things are valuable, then they can be sold).
Don't start a new relationship with the first person you meet. Wait until the old feelings have completely cooled down, and find someone who is truly worthy of you.
Try to distract yourself and change your surroundings, find a new hobby, make interesting acquaintances. For example, you can go on a trip. In a word, you need to do everything that will save you from thinking about

And if this is fate?

A difficult and responsible step is a relationship with a married man. Is it worth dating him? If this is the love of your life, then it might be worth the risk. Perhaps you will become for him that faithful companion that everyone dreams of. It is possible that your lover's wife also has a relationship on the side. Thus, the divorce will not be a tragedy, but the beginning of a new happy life for all the characters.

Is such a scenario possible? Of course! The claim that marriages are made in heaven is not always true. Perhaps his first legal relationship is nothing more than a mistake of youth. Someone marries in defiance of their parents, someone under pressure, someone out of stupidity, and someone because of their children. In any case, if a man is unhappy in marriage, then with or without your help, he will still leave the family. The main thing is to correctly guess his intentions.

Specialist help

So, more and more often you say to yourself: "I love a married man." What to do? In this case, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. You need to share your problems, otherwise you can simply get bogged down in them. If you do not have a reliable girlfriend with whom you could have a heart-to-heart talk, it is worth contacting a specialist. The psychologist will ask you to answer the following questions:

Even if with your love you save a man from household chores and an unloved (possibly unfaithful) spouse, you still put yourself in an extremely humiliating position. Think, are you ready for the sake of this man to sink in the eyes of others?
By surrendering yourself entirely to the hands of an unfaithful family man, you are losing invaluable time that you could have spent on creating your own family. Should you punish yourself like that?
If a man has children, then for sure they will be the first to suffer after the father leaves the family. Think back to your childhood and your family. Wouldn't you be ashamed?
Quite often, men scatter in promises to divorce their wife and create a new happy family with their mistress. But why hasn't he done it yet?

You must give the answer not to the psychologist, but to yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you can make the right decision.

conclusions

No matter how women drive such thoughts away from themselves, many admit to themselves: "I love a married man." What to do in a difficult situation, the psychologist will tell you, as well as your own conscience. Before starting such a relationship, you need to analyze the situation very well. Of course, there is a small chance that you will find the love of your life, but in most cases everything is limited to the humiliating status of a lover.

In this situation, in fact, nothing can be done. It's best to just leave emotions, feelings in the past and move into the future. However, not everyone can do it so easily. It is very important for many women to try to make a difference. They are divided into two large groups. It is important for the first to achieve the goal so as not to cripple their own pride, the second does not give a damn about pride and pride, they are ready for anything, just not to lose their feelings. Both options are not very good, because love cannot be created out of nothing and cannot be held by force.

Women who step over their pride and self-esteem usually receive nothing but contempt from the person they love. Very rarely they can convince their lover to give them a chance, but such love out of despair and pity rarely leads to anything good. Women for whom it is important to achieve love in order not to be pitiful, commit a series of irreparable acts, seriously complicating their lives, or simply waste too much energy to achieve an ephemeral result.

What to do?

The best option in the case of unrequited love is to fight with yourself for your happiness. It is very important to convince yourself that you just need to live on, giving up suffering and rushing.

First of all, you need to understand the feelings, to understand how strong they are. Most often, a serious thoughtful analysis shows that this love arose from a feeling of loneliness, which means that any other mutual romance can drown it out, since it will remove its root cause. In this case, it is enough to simply start looking for another suitable object for the application of the senses. And you should not look for him somewhere far away, most likely some wonderful man is already in your environment.

If the basis is not just a desire to “be not alone,” think about the behavior and character of your beloved. Perhaps he has an interest in you or stronger feelings, but is afraid to show, because men have a huge number of dubious stereotypes about the correct "male" behavior. In this case, the easiest way is to call him for a frank conversation in order to dot the i's. It can be painful, but much easier than endless flirting and careful exploration. Plus, if his answer is no, you don't have to hesitate anymore. An uncompromising "no" makes you move on, despite self-pity.

Fight for your own love or break off relationships - you will have to decide only for yourself. However, remember that men don't like overly clingy women. This is because it is alien to their nature. Do not forget that a man is a hunter who likes to get a woman's favor himself. That is why you should not captivate him. It might be better to just let him go and wait to meet someone who loves you.

- I love the married ...

- And you are not satisfied with such a relationship?

- Of course, because I would also like to have a family and children, but this is hardly possible with a married man. Who knows? Hope dies last. What if he leaves after all? After all, he constantly says that he loves, makes promises: “only the children will grow up a little” ...

As practice shows, such stories sometimes drag on for years. And many women do not find the strength to break off such relationships. And the years go by and make the situation more and more dramatic.

Of course, there are exceptions. And it so happens that men leave the family.

But if the relationship of two free people for both has clear chances of a strong family, then, in the case of an affair with a married person, these chances are at least greatly reduced, and in some cases can only be a sweet illusion, which still collapses and leads to painful disappointment.

And now we will only talk about those triangles in which the man does not make any choice for years, and the woman in the role a married man's mistress keeps on waiting and hoping.

« I love a married man - what to do? " - many women ask the question, already realizing that the prospect is vague, the relationship is confused and complicated, the problem has become chronic, and there is no way out.

To begin with, I propose to try to understand what pushes women into such a relationship. After all, what happens to us in life is almost always a direct consequence of what happens inside our own psyche.

Why do women choose relationships with married men?

Naturally, on a conscious level, everyone wants an exceptional relationship, when there is no need to share anyone with anyone. And of course, it is unlikely that a woman striving for a family and children is able to consciously go to look for a married person among all applicants.

But "it turns out that way."

A woman falls in love, and then asks the question: “ I love married - what to do? " To begin with, try to realize those motives hidden from consciousness that could lead to such a turn of events.

“Checked. No serious defects found. "

about how a woman's inner passivity leads to a relationship with a married man

This unconscious motive can lead those women who are very afraid of working in a relationship and treat most men with distrust. And the subconscious mind tells: a married man is checked. If a woman has lived with him for many years, it means that you can live with him.

He seemed to have already been "approved" by another woman, tested, and it was on her that he learned to live, and accordingly it was she who got his youthful throwing, ineptitude both in everyday life and in bed, the first quarrels from great categorization, his exactingness and nit-picking. But he comes to his mistress already ready, that is, trained.

In a rough comparison, it's like buying a used car or an apartment in the secondary market. All defects have already been found by the previous owners, and most likely have been fixed.

The house has long ago shrunk, and fresh cracks will not go along the walls. The car has already shown itself, adjusted itself to our roads, and if there was something that should inevitably fall off, it had already fallen off and was replaced.

So is the man. Everything in it that was not very suitable for living with a woman has already been discovered and at least refined to an acceptable state.

A woman's unconscious motive may be: “I don’t have to solve his problems, I don’t have to teach him, I don’t have to work on a relationship from scratch.”

Woman unconsciously choosing relationship with a married man, often she herself cannot determine exactly what kind of man she needs, what kind of relationship she herself could build. That is why the relationship itself is determined for her by the man, and such internal passivity often leads to the fact that she has to wait again, as she was waiting for the "prince." Only now wait for the "prince" to get divorced.

Very often, a similar motive guides women with repressed emotions and fear of family life. It happens that before meeting with a married woman, she even, and her expectations from the relationship are very alarming.

In her early youth, such a girl was not ready to show her sympathies and emotions in real strength in front of a possible refusal, mental pain associated with grinding in partners, and such a girl is often afraid of her own emotions.

Therefore, she unconsciously seeks to understand "how it happens in others" in order to own information. And who can better show all the "delights" of family life than a married partner?

Where does this motive come from? Most likely, a strict ban on the expression of emotions was imposed in the family, feelings were devalued in every possible way (and hence all the fears of their own manifestation of feelings), as a rule, all this was accompanied by a rather tough upbringing, and the girl learned what a “right” life should be. But I did not understand how this is connected with her feelings and experiences.

The idea of love and relationships, such as she would really like (and not "how it should be") turns out to be vague in the end, and provides a very extensive basis for influence and suggestions.

And a married man in need of a young mistress, for example, actively uses it. And he is quite capable of convincing a young girl that it was with her that true love overtook him. And for a girl who has not yet developed an idea of what she wants, it is easy enough to believe it.

Not a single free girl is immune from this fate. Moreover, some go on an affair with a married man, knowing about his position, which is called "for love", but there are those who find out about the lack of freedom of the chosen one when the romance has gone too far, and its consequences can be the most unpredictable. It's good if a woman in her right mind and sober memory asks herself the question: I love a married man, what to do. It's good if she can find the right answer. But you can destroy a family (if not two), and later realize that the step was wrong, the love has passed and the once married beloved is no longer sweet.

Standard prognosis of a relationship with a married person

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There are so many single guys ...

Some girls don't take this kind of relationship seriously. But this is only at the beginning. After some time, they realize that they have fallen head over heels in love. If your feelings become serious, you need to make the right decision about whether to continue the relationship with a married man, or it is better to break it off immediately. You need to think very well, since practice shows that rare affairs with married men have a good continuation that would suit women in love.

And all because there are practically no prospects in relationships with unfree men. Even if the lover promises to leave his family, you can remain his lover for many years. Because it is so beneficial for a man. During this time, you can miss a lot of opportunities to arrange your personal life, truly fall in love and build a relationship with a good man, whom you will not have to share with anyone.

Consider the fact that if you decide to maintain a relationship with a married man whom you managed to fall in love with, you will (at best) spend weekends and holidays with your girlfriends, and then until they have families. Most married men spend the holidays with their supposedly disgusted family. Want to settle for sneak meetings on weekdays? Most likely, the time that he can spend on you, you will miss. Loneliness? Yes ... This is one of the main disadvantages of an affair with a married man.

Think about the lawful wife of your beloved, and try to put yourself in her place. It is foolish to think that you cannot be in her position. He says that she is not a good, not a mistress, quarrelsome and jealous? Are you not like that? But why, then, does he continue to live with his wife, and meet with you on the sly? Your beloved is now turned towards you with his best side, but nothing prevents you from imagining his worst side. Imagine yourself as his wife. Perhaps his real wife does not even know about his infidelities, but you will be in an even worse position: you know that he can cheat, you know that he lied to his wife. You can hardly be 100% sure of his loyalty, even if he ever leaves his wife and lives with you.

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I love a married man, what should I do?

If pondering all sorts of unfavorable prospects does not in the least detract from your feelings of love for a married man, you have made your conscious choice, and you want to be with him, we bring to your attention the positive aspects of this love. And they are still there. Just read them to the end.

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So, love for an unfree man is:

Lack or excess of time?

On the one hand, there is a waste of time. The time you spend waiting for his visit. Minutes add up to hours, and hours add up to days, days into weeks and months. Everything that you could have done during this time, you, unfortunately, irrevocably lose.

On the other hand, there is a lot of free time. The wife should sit at home and cook borscht, but the beloved woman owes nothing to anyone (this is purely theoretical, but only you know how your relationship develops there). The beloved appears occasionally, and all this time you can do whatever you see fit: do fitness or yoga for weight loss, go to nightclubs, cross-stitch, weave macrame, look for another lover, in the end. A wife spends a lot of time on household chores, but you, not having a husband, and having only a lover, who, by the way, is married, can devote all your free time to your beloved.

Loneliness or a fulfilling life?

If you become obsessed with a married lover, you will soon begin to quietly hate the holidays and weekends, as he will spend them with his family. You will not be able to boast in the company of your friends that your loved one gave you flowers yesterday “just like that”, met you from work and fed you a delicious dinner, because the question will not be pleasant to you: what, I wonder, did he lie to his wife?

On the other hand (if you do not allow looping), you are a free woman, and a married lover has no right to forbid you to date someone with whom you see fit. Therefore, you can spend evenings with Kolya on Wednesdays and Fridays, and with Vitya on Mondays and Saturdays. You can go skiing with your friend at Christmas, and go on vacation to Turkey with your neighbor Vanya. But here, of course, everything depends on your inner world and on your personal choice. If you feel that you have a duty to be faithful to your married lover, then that is the way it is, and this is your conscious choice. Do as you see fit.

Conspiration or adrenaline rush in the blood?

Remember the famous song of the group "Leap Year"? Our main task with her is not to be caught in the place, passwords appear, other people's dachas and at home you need to be at 10. A rare woman likes this kind of life: hurrying by different roads to one station in order to arrange a holiday of love at someone else's dacha. Yes, even though on his own, it is still not easier. After all, you can call a married man on a mobile phone strictly at certain hours, in no case write SMS with suspicious content, and not take pictures together, because he is terribly afraid of this. You need to walk separately, and if you meet by chance in the same company, you should do your best to pretend that you don't know each other ...

The other side of the coin is adrenaline. After all, family life is so insipid that sometimes you want to howl like a wolf from everyday life. You have every meeting - a holiday. So that.

Humiliation or feeling superior to his wife?

Humiliation is a frequent, if not constant, companion of a woman who has managed to fall in love with a married man. Whether you show it or not, you understand in your heart that you are not in the first place, and not even in the second, but in the fifth or tenth place in the life of your beloved. Isn't it humiliation when he, lying in bed with you after sex, grabs the receiver of his mobile phone and, trying to speak in an even voice, answers his wife's call: “Yes, dear, of course while at work, I will be there soon. I’ll buy bread, take my son ”?

If you think in a different direction, you probably already realized that you are better than his wife. While she is at home cooking dinners and washing clothes, he dines with you in a restaurant. While she is babysitting the children, he has sex with you. While she is cleaning the apartment, he gives you flowers. She, a fool, a fool, believes that he loves her, in fact, he lives with her out of habit / because of business / for the sake of children. He loves you and only you, because he himself admitted it. Is it nicer? Then think so.

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Will the hour of reckoning come?

It has been proven more than once that the Higher powers do not like people who have set themselves the goal of building their happiness on the grief of other people. Sooner or later, life teaches a lesson to those who have trampled on the feelings of others for the sake of their own.

What? Do you know many examples when a woman took her husband out of the family, married him, and they lived happily ever after? And all the problems they had - just a coincidence? And this opinion has a right to exist.

Indeed, love with a married man can be different. It happens that a divorce has been brewing for a long time in families, and the appearance of a mistress simply accelerated this process. Or maybe you yourself don't need him as a husband, you are with him only for the sake of sex / adrenaline / new sensations / boredom? Be that as it may, no matter how you feel about your love for a married person, do not forget that this is still a sin. And for sins you have to pay.

Marriage is not always a guarantee of eternal love and fidelity. Representatives of the stronger sex, as a rule, hide the sympathy that has arisen outside the family. This behavior is caused by the desire to preserve the marriage, to raise children, or the fear of being rejected in society.

Simple enough if you know some of the behavior.

In contact with

Often, it is the woman who, on purpose or without realizing it herself, gives the man hope for the continuation of communication. If this is not included in the plans, then it is better to study how to behave with a man, married or in a relationship, so as not to be misunderstood:

Be polite and friendly, but keep your distance. Oftentimes, being optimistic and showing interest is perceived as flirting.
Say non-binding things. Don't ask about your personal life or talk too much about yourself.
Don't make frivolous jokes. Such behavior not only does not paint the girl, but is also considered bad form.
Let's understand that you don't need attention, but don't be rude.

Many girls perceive a young man with a ring on his finger as that very forbidden, but sweet fruit. In reality, everything is not so romantic. Representatives of the stronger sex, practicing hikes "to the left" need only carnal joys. Carrying on your shoulders the burden of responsibility for another woman, striving to help her in solving problems, and even more so, having children is not in the interests of "married men".

What if you like a married man?

Suppressing your feelings is not an easy task, and even having a family cannot stop some ladies in love. If you like a married man, what can you do to build a relationship with him? There are some points to consider:

Assess whether it is really necessary. The behavior of a married man in love can be very promising, but according to statistics, only 1 man in 20 goes to his mistress. Do you agree to sacrifice time, beauty and youth for the sake of a person living for another family?
Be effective. Well-groomed and sexy - these are the weapons of a woman. You cannot relax: lack of styling, sloppy makeup, simple clothes - all this is unacceptable for a mistress.
Support and help. If you like a married person, how should you behave? Be gentle and affectionate. Sensitivity and tenderness should be a priority in such a relationship. Demanding, threatening, throwing tantrums are bad tactics.
4. Create maximum comfort. Let it be cozy, easy and pleasant next to you.

Don't ask him for a divorce. Such pressure can only provoke a return to the family. To the question of what to do if you like a married man, but he does not want to get divorced, there are only two answers - wait or leave.

Another delicate question - what to do if you like a man and are married herself? There is no definite answer to it, however:

Assess the situation soberly. Being "on your bank" it is worth realizing that such a relationship carries mutual risks. It will be difficult to hide sympathy from the other half, and not everyone is ready to destroy families.
If the feelings are mutual and strong, then honest conversation with the spouses is the best solution. A painful divorce is easier to survive than long years of lies and betrayal.
If the family is a priority, then the relationship on the side must be broken. Leave once and for all, otherwise you risk losing both, chasing two birds with one stone.
Don't think about social acceptance. Others are unlikely to perceive such a pair adequately. Be prepared for judgment, but don't dwell on it. Remember that your own happiness is more important than other people's gossip and gossip.

How to understand that a married man likes you?

The signs of a man in love, married or free, are the same. They are distinguished, perhaps, only by attempts to hide sympathy from a woman. How to know if a married person likes you:

An open smile. If, when meeting, he smiles broadly and sincerely, then this is a good sign.
Gestures. One of the best ways to tell if a married man has fallen in love with you is to watch him move. If in the course of communication he touches his neck, twists a belt or straightens his hair, then he is probably showing sympathy.
Mirror effect. Repetition of a woman's actions also refers to how a man in love, married or free, behaves. This is due to a subconscious desire to please.
Open pose. How do you know if a man, married or single, likes you? If the toes of his shoes are turned towards the woman, when he meets him, he spreads his arms wide, and in a sitting position he spreads his knees, then this is a sign of sympathy.
Another way to understand if a married man likes you is to touch. Accidental touching with a hand or sleeve indicates attraction.
Politeness and gallantry. How does a married man in love behave? He is ready to shake hands, present a coat, help carry a bag.
Compliments. You can talk for a long time about how to understand whether a married man loves you. Perhaps compliments are the most obvious manifestation of falling in love. The main thing is not to confuse them with banal politeness.

How do you know if a married man loves you? He seeks meetings, seeks to spend time together and is ready to provide any help. As a rule, the signs are easy to read and rarely make a woman doubt this issue.

Signs that he loves you but is hiding his feelings

Sometimes the feelings that arise become a bolt from the blue. If a man is not ready for a relationship and does not want to reveal the true state of affairs, then he will not show frank signs of attention. However, there are still ways to understand that a married man is in love, but hides his feelings.

How to understand that a man is in love (married or not) by sight. As you know, the eyes are the mirror of the soul. It is rarely possible to conceal the truth in a glance. Focusing on the lips, neck, curves of the body, softness and tenderness in the gaze betray real intentions.
How to understand that a married man loves you by his appearance. A sudden change of image, more frequent sports activities, increased attention to one's own clothes are in many cases caused by falling in love.
How to understand what a man really loves if he is married, according to his behavior. If he accidentally turns out to be near, casually offers help or touches with his hand, then his feelings are strong enough.
How to understand that a married man likes you or in an energy relationship. It is impossible to hide sexual attraction to a girl. The energy of attraction seems to fill the entire space. Only the most inattentive woman can fail to notice such a manifestation.

Useful video

The relationship between a man and a woman is steeped in antiquity. You can understand all the difficulties in understanding and improve relationships from this video:

Conclusion

Many articles and essays have been written about how to understand whether a man, married or in a relationship loves you. However, in reality it is not difficult at all.
Whether or not to respond to signals is a much more confusing topic. Remember that stories like these rarely end up in a happy new marriage.