What children teach us. What our children teach us. Our children teach us tremendous patience, because without having this quality, it is almost impossible to raise a child, and in our future life, such a trait as patience will not be an unnecessary hindrance.

WHAT OUR CHILDREN TEACH US
Happiness lessons from children
1. Live in the present
Probably, everyone saw such a picture: the child plays, falls, breaks his knee, begins to choke with sobs, and a second later, forgetting about his bruises and abrasions, is again having fun, rejoicing and laughing. Children do not hold on to their negative emotions, they easily let go of them and continue to enjoy life. Adults, on the other hand, continue to think about the bad, even when it is far behind. You can't live in the past. Our life is what happens here and now. “Yesterday” has already died, “tomorrow” has not yet been born, you only have “today” in order to feel, live, think, rejoice, change something, and so on. You cannot be happy until you learn to appreciate the present moment.
2. Focus on the good
When a child plays, he is happy. He is passionate about his toys and does not think about anything else, which is why he gets so much pleasure in the process. In adults, everything is different. While having fun with their friends, they continue to think about an unfinished project, an unpaid bill, problems with neighbors, etc. Sometimes you need to forget about troubles in order to enjoy life. You can always think about the bad later.
3. Use your imagination
Children constantly use all their imagination. They do not limit themselves to the room in which they play, they imagine dragons, ancient castles, treasuries and princes with princesses. That is why their games are so exciting and interesting. Those who, over time, forget how to use their imaginations, are closed to new opportunities. They remain in an empty room. And those who think creatively get locks.
4. Believe that the impossible is possible
Nothing is impossible for children. They have unlimited faith in themselves and their capabilities. It seems to them that, if they wish, they can even learn to fly. It is a pity that growing up, many forget about it. People themselves drive themselves into frames and then sit as in a prison behind bars. Remember yourself when you were little when nothing was impossible for you.
5. Don't get hung up on age
Children do not think about their age, it seems to them that they have an eternity ahead of them. For adults, age is very important. He gives them a good excuse. They cannot afford a lot only because of their own fears, but at the same time they deceive themselves with the phrase: "It's too late." Remember, it's never too late for anything.
6. Rejoice more often
Children smile and laugh so often because they know how to find joy in little things. They admire when they see a butterfly, have fun jumping over puddles, enjoy the usual ice cream. Children take only good things from life. Never swear at your fate. Better to thank her for all the wonderful things that happen to you.
7. Be kind to people and trust them
Children are open and gullible towards everyone around them. They do not want to harm anyone and do not think that anyone can harm them. Adults are often cruel even with loved ones. They can offend, refuse help, insult. Also, as they grow older, people acquire another negative quality - suspicion. It seems to them that everyone around has only bad intentions. It is impossible to be a happy person if you constantly harm others and wait for him in return. Kindness and LOVE are the two main components of happiness.
8. Believe in your dream
Children are absolutely sure that all their desires will come true and do not doubt it for a second. You can tell the boy who dreams of becoming an astronaut as much as you like that this is a very difficult and dangerous profession, but he still won't listen to you. While he probably knows that his dream will come true and is doing everything to bring this moment closer - he reads books about spaceships, studies the stars, exercises to be strong. Adults are burdened with unnecessary worries and often do not have time for their own dreams and desires. Faced with the first obstacle, they give up what they have been striving for for a long time.

LEARN FROM CHILDREN TO THE JOY OF LIFE

If you carefully observe the children, you will understand that we HAVE ANYTHING TO LEARN FROM THEM.

Children are sincere. Children always say directly what they think, they sincerely show their emotions, do not hide them. When they are having fun, they laugh; when it’s offensive, they cry. We always understand their reactions. But can you say the same about yourself and those around you?

- Children rejoice in little things... Children don't care what to play with - an expensive computer, a ball, or, for example, with snowflakes. They are interested in everything, they are full of happiness and optimism. Adults prefer expensive toys and rarely enjoy simple things..

- Children are on the move all day... Children are constantly moving and doing something: from the moment they get up to the moment they go to bed. They run, jump and find new things to do. They don’t sit on a chair when you can sit on the floor, they don’t walk when you can run. Follow the example of children - move more, be more energetic.

- Children eat as much as they see fit.... Children do not care how much food is still on the plate if they are already full, unlike adults. Therefore, they do not overeat, unless, of course, adults force them. Adults also needed to develop the habit of listening to body sensations and stopping in time..

- Children take their body... Children love to run naked, not ashamed of their body and their nakedness, they are natural, like nature itself. Most adults are unhappy with their body and constantly criticize it. Feel natural again and start loving your body.

- Children are very flexible... Children, like plasticine, bend and bend, as they please. As adults, we lose flexibility as we hardly do stretching exercises. That's why try yoga, or at least do some simple stretching exercises. This will help you stay healthy.

- Children don't get hung up... Children are easily upset over a trifle, but their bad mood does not last long, and soon, as if nothing had happened, they live and play on. Adults, on the other hand, keep resentment and anger for years. We should learn from the child to let go of these states.

- Children know how to relax... Children are able to fall asleep right at the table while eating or taking off their shoes after a walk. They know exactly when they run out of strength and that they need to rest in order to gain new strength. But adults have lost this ability to notice fatigue and do not know how to stop and recuperate in time..

- Children see things in a new way... For children, every day is a new day. They notice little things that adults never pay attention to. If you look at the world through the eyes of a child, the lost freshness of the perception of the world with all its colors and absurdity will return to us. And this is the quality of a creative person.

If you were given the opportunity to observe a spiritualized person, then you probably noticed that he is always on. He is interested in everything that happens around him, even something insignificant, he is ready with full dedication to do work "not according to status", it seems that everything is so important to him. And it doesn't seem like it really is. He is present in the present moment and does not cast aside the details of the present. And if you do not have the opportunity to communicate with people with a high level of spirituality, watch the children. They behave the same way. Only their behavior for some reason causes not respect, but irritation.

The child never sits. Although his parents persistently teach him everyday patience - the best that can kill the present, wasting time for the sake of a brighter future.

"Sit quietly, wait, do not twitch, walk beside and do not turn your head, then I will give you a piece of candy"; "Now we need to sit quietly to get to the grandmother and there we will already play." In other words: "Suffer for now, live somehow now, so that later it will be good and interesting." Will it be interesting later? Surely you will have to wait for something again. With his whims, unwillingness to do everyday things bored, the child encourages us to live now, to make the present moment interesting and exciting.

Please note that the child is always included in the process, and in absolutely any, despite the fact that many are annoyed. While adults are trying to torture themselves on the road, to kill time, the child is interested in everything that happens here and now. He looks at everyone with curiosity, but in response he hears: “Don't look at your uncle, it's not good, don't turn around,” he finds interesting almost anywhere and at any time: “Well, what are you picking there again? Take your hands off, there is dirt, sit still, we'll be there soon.

Children are our teachers. And this is not just a pretty phrase. If you take it seriously, if you apply it in life, if you listen to a child, hear a child, you can learn a lot of things.

Be present here and now

We have already talked about this. Make everyday activities interesting and exciting. Instead of getting lost in your thoughts while dressing the child, try to captivate him with interesting reasoning, pronounce the whole process, focus on the details. Yes, there are more important things in the world, but the meaning of life here and now is to put on tights! :)

Meditating in Extremely Inappropriate Conditions.

In the life of a mother, there are times when you have to be in uncomfortable positions for a long time. The child fell asleep (finally!) In your arms in the transport, but not very well, the baby suckles the breast all night and no longer has the strength to lie on one side, the children started a noisy game when they want to rest. This is a great occasion to meditate. Meditation music, dim lights and a comfortable position? Did not hear! In order to quickly relieve fatigue and be less dependent on circumstances, you need to learn to relax in uncomfortable positions.

Smile for no reason

Surprisingly, adults are often annoyed when a child smiles for no reason. They think that he is plotting something, then they are afraid that passers-by will think that he is laughing at them. In any case, with such a reaction, adults build a clear connection in the subconscious: you need to laugh and smile only when there is a reason for this that is understandable to those around you. But in the future, the less often we smile, the less reason for this.

Play

To turn any situation into a game, to think while playing, it is easy to change the rules, to quickly forget about defeats. There are very few principled children, if a child has some principles, he simply imitates adults, and his principles easily collapse under the onslaught of children's love of life and curiosity. To look broadly at the world and be naive to be sure that you can do everything and everything is available to you - that worldview that makes an adult successful and which the same adult achieves through long-term work on himself, a bunch of completed trainings and read books on personal growth. Therefore, before the next time you tell your child: “You cannot, don’t waste time, you are still small, this is not for you,” think, maybe it would be better to take an example from him?

Accept yourself and your emotions

It is difficult to imagine a small child who is trying to hide his resentment. Indignation is immediately reflected on his face, He lives and burns through his emotion to the end and immediately, until it takes root, and then with a light heart he lives on and loves everyone around. The ability to hide and suppress emotions comes with age. Already at school age, parents and teachers try to teach how to do this instead of teaching correctly and in a civilized manner to accept all the movements of the soul, sincerely ask for forgiveness and sincerely forgive. And don't think about it anymore.

I'd like to write that children teach us patience. But is it patience? Patience is waiting. Live now and you will never have to endure again.

Sometimes I think - what would have happened to him if I gave up, if I could not stand it? I don’t want to think about it.

Two years ago, Seryozha came to our family at the request of my adopted daughter. At that time, there were four children in the family - two blood-born and two adopted teenagers. We no longer planned to take someone else into the family. In the orphanage, they were very friendly, trusted each other secrets, could talk for hours, had mutual friends and trusted each other with their secrets. In one word - "do not spill water." Yulia's blood brother Artem, with whom she had a relationship, to put it mildly, not very much, was terribly jealous at first, and then even made friends with Seryozha. At the request of the guys, we invited Serega to visit for the autumn holidays.

The boy's story was complicated - from the age of 6 in an orphanage, at the age of 7 he got into a foster family, at the age of 8 he left it, taking a friend with him. He left because he "didn't like it." I found my relatives, but the police found them and returned them to the orphanage. Since then, he remained in the institution, did not even want to hear about the foster family, he was the youngest in the group. Until the 5th grade I was an excellent student, then abruptly “slid down” to triples. I stopped studying, I put the troikas rather out of habit. He went in for sports - sambo, often went to competitions. Earring is a very charming and charismatic kid, he was known in the orphanage as everyone's favorite. The elders took care of him as best they could - where they would not give offense, and where they taught him to "be an adult." In the orphanage we were told that he is a self-sufficient boy, that he is not like a family, he will not come to visit us either. I went, however. I think I realized that we can be trusted, since his friends live with us, and they are not going to leave anywhere!

The "guests" were over, the holidays flew by quickly, it was time to get ready back to the orphanage, and to my great surprise, Serega called me up for a frank conversation. He said that he liked us very much and he would be glad to stay with us. After talking with her husband and the rest of the children, it was decided to take the earring. He studied disgracefully, teachers at school complained about the behavior. They took us out of the orphanage with the words: “you don’t know him, oh, you’re getting enough ...” But we are not looking for easy ways. Since the boy is ours, we will love him as he is and somehow solve problems as they arise. Taking Seryozhka home in December for good, we celebrated the New Year together.

He stayed in the old school, where many children from the orphanage went. Rather, he asked for it himself. I stood up to defend my son with my chest, realizing that he, of course, was a hooligan, but the reasons for his misconduct were clear to me - the boy was adapting in the family as best she could, explaining this to the teachers. One day he had a quarrel with a teacher who asked his adoptive parents to come to the school. He replied that they were not adopted, but relatives, when he heard in response that relatives were those who gave birth, he rudely cursed in response ... Study and behavior became simply ugly, they called me to school every other day, and it was decided to transfer Seryoga to another the school where his brothers and sisters studied.

At the new school, Seryozhka pulled himself up, immediately won the trust and disposition of the class, and began to study better than before. I was glad to see such a change. At home he also behaved well, but he cried very often - in the evenings, it seemed, for no reason. Then I sat down next to him and tried to talk. Sometimes he wanted to cry alone, I left. Seryozha's relationship with Yulia, who used to be his best friend, deteriorated. As soon as the children were under the same roof, it began! He constantly bullied the girl, became rude to her. He allowed himself to raise his voice, to be insolent. Of course, everything happened in our absence. In the evenings, everyone would sit down together to "discuss" the day they had lived and explain to Seryozha what was good and what was bad. How men behave with girls, he listened, agreed, but as soon as we left, everything repeated itself.

This behavior was understandable and understandable - adaptation at home and at school, the difficulties of adolescence. We talked a lot and often, Seryozha reasoned wisely, in an adult way, knew how to apologize if he was wrong, listened to my husband and me, respected and became close and dear, our son. At this time, the orphanage in our city was closed, the children were transferred far to the region, we decided to take two more dear children - teenagers, brother and sister, 16 and 14 years old. Of course, we knew that it would be difficult, but there was a firm belief that we would cope. And the opinion of all the other children in the family on this score coincided with ours.

The school year is over, and Seryozha got C grade somehow. Summer passed quickly. Country camps give us, foster parents, the opportunity to take a breath, gather strength. My boys have stretched out over the summer, matured.

A new academic year has come, Seryozha entered the 7th grade. And at some point our son suddenly ceased to be ours ... Or rather, he stopped considering us his parents. It began with the fact that he began to communicate more often with blood parents, who suddenly decided to live soberly and happily informed him that they were going to pick him up. Such "joyful" news was reported to me only later, he met with them in secret. What was going on in the boy's head could be understood by his behavior. School problems are just the tip of the iceberg. Smoking, alcohol, police, outright rudeness, insolence, lies, behavior is simply ugly. I ran to my grandmother, skipped school. Collected things several times. Sometimes it seemed to me that I could not stand it, I would give up, that I had no more strength ... He became a stranger, openly ignored us, “took on the weak” brother Artyom, forcing him to drink and smoke in the company. And this is 13 years old! I was getting scared. For the family, for the rest of the children, for the future. I caught myself thinking that I didn't want to see him, that I was stretching like a string, seeing the next missed call from the teacher. And so every day. I drank sedative tablets. Other children, too, could not be ignored - there were problems with studies and behavior at school among our teenagers.

I often turned "with a cry from the heart" to my dear friends, also adoptive mothers, to those who could suggest, calm down, listen ... Words "Natasha, if you break down, you can't stand what will happen to him later ... You must, you can ..." every time they gave me strength and faith that everything will work out. There were other words “he is uncontrollable, nothing will come of him, send him to an orphanage, enough to make yourself and your family suffer” ... I often talked with the priest I respect, asked for God's help. Now I remember that year as the most difficult in the life of the family.

The next summer was approaching, Serega was expelled from the gymnasium for disgraceful behavior and six twos a year. Somehow we put in troikas, but on the condition that we leave the gymnasium. Once I told my son: "Sergei, if you really want to live with mom and dad, I will help you." He replied that he really wanted to, that he was angry with them for their betrayal, for the fact that they now live together, and he had been in the orphanage for so many years and now they do not need him at all. But he loves us very much and does not want to become a stranger. But they want to take him, and they have to be with him. And for a while he calmed down. Has ceased to misbehave and hooliganism. But then it turned out that the parents have huge debts for alimony, some other problems and will not be able to regain the right to raise their son. Moreover, they drink again. The ear ring fell off again.

My strength was running out. I took Serega and Artema vouchers to the camp for the whole summer, they themselves very much asked about it. Moreover, in the first shift, they went to different camps, Artem never wanted to go to the same camp with his brother. I needed a time-out, I burned out with Seryozhka by 99.9%... Frankly, after my son left for the camp, the long-awaited peace came at home. I didn’t come all shift - I passed food with neighbors, whose children were in the same camp. Honestly, there was no strength to see him. Before leaving, I talked to him that summer is a probationary period for him. That we love him, we are a family, but everything is complicated. That he should think about how we will live further, that I am tired and can no longer live like this. I can’t and don’t want to in the end! I don't know if I did the right thing by putting him before a choice ... But I felt that I had to tell him this.

The first shift is over. I went to meet Seryozha from the camp with mixed feelings. We did not see each other for a long time, communicated only by phone. But my son, getting off the bus, ran to me, hugged me, squeezed me in a vice, which took my breath away, and ... began to cry. "Mom, forgive me, you fool, I understood everything, I feel bad without you, I do not want to do this ..."

And suddenly everything changed. Well, not quite, of course, but it became much easier. He somehow matured. From the second camp shift, he brought me and my husband "Gratitude" for raising our son. Honestly, this is the best reward for us! A small piece of paper - and there are so many in it. This is gratitude for that terrible year, for tears and despair, for not giving up, for holding out, for not giving up and even in the most difficult period believed that we would survive, believed in ourselves and in our son.

In September, my son went to another school, his studies improved, he grew up, became taller than me, matured, matured internally and changed. We often talk heart to heart, again my earring has become mine, such a dear, sincere one. Sometimes I think - what would have happened to him if I gave up, if I could not stand it? I don’t want to think about it. Another betrayal of adults. Favorite adults. This means that you cannot love anyone, you cannot get attached, you are still bad, even when your soul is torn to pieces and no one can understand how bad you are, that's why you do all sorts of nasty and stupid things, calling for help in this way. We needed a "time out", we needed to be away for a while to understand how much we value each other.

Now I am proud of my son and all my family, which very united in difficult times. We've all become closer. Difficulties bring people closer, and victories over them give a feeling of the importance of such family unity. Of course, we swear - we put up, like everyone else, we get deuces, correct them, we are called to school from time to time, but it's all like everyone else. We are not strangers, and this is the main thing. Now my son, in response to a remark addressed to him, often answers "Mom, I love you too ..."

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4 comments

• Veronica

  Life is an interesting thing. My husband and I (15 years together) have a bloodline 12 years old, the most that is not to eat up the desired one, gave birth at 30, but such a character is full of ATAS. In general, you need it, but I feel good as it is .. The character is not simple to say the least. And he is rude, and rereads and headstrong. That's how he was born, a quickie. They took the guy half a year away. Then the receptionist was done. We of course immediately praised him, everyone, but I saw the catfish too, judging by the questionnaire (by the way, from your website) that he was probably our boy and he suits us. a girl of 3 years old, had to rewrite in custody. And I am grateful to God (before the meeting, I prayed that everything would work out for us) that we took him. To study 4 and 5, sometimes he can clarify something from my husband by the math, all attacks by himself !!! no matter how happy it is to sit with lessons. Both go to school in one, my bloodline immediately accepted him and his behavior even improved (he can hug him and say, my beloved brother), but this is our job too. I always say that now you brothers and your son have prepared in advance that you will have brothers and sisters. Now tell me where the genes are. The receptionist had no problems with him at all, and I said I'll go to the institute, homey, calm, clean, smart and sanguine, always positive, he tells a lot of interesting things from the lessons. And to be honest, I rest in my soul with him when I talk. My husband has the same character (only he is a phlegmatic). and there is no answer yet in anything. I said it will only be up to 9kl, I will not go to any institute. I think the character is inherited (and the tempo we are haleric) I look at my son, I see myself, though I was calmer. The gene of an alcoholic and a drug addict does not exist (this has been proven), but the character is accurately transmitted (by the way, to the adoptive mother) here you need to lay a positive + draw prospects + and lay a negative attitude towards the bad, and most importantly, to become an authority for them - we need joint travel, sports. My husband and I are planning to take more children.

• Kristina

  Well done Natalia, you are an example for many!

• SZvezda

  Natasha, you are great. I experienced the same only with my own blood child. Although the family has 4 more children and two of them are adopted. There was a desire to grab everyone and run away to the ends of the earth. I prayed a lot, endured, there were conversations. I always inspired him that I love him anyway, even if I heard in response that he hates me more than anyone else in the world. It's been 5 years, terribly difficult. And now he is 17 years old. An adult, beloved, and most importantly, our real friend. When this happens to an adopted child, there is a temptation to blame others, genes, in the end. But when he himself gave birth, here you dig first of all in yourself, looking for where it got pierced, what is wrong. And after that you perfectly understand that it doesn't matter who gave birth, it is important what to do next, how to help the child and yourself. Only true love gives patience. I wish you success, Natasha, love and health to all your friendly family.
  Svetlana

• Natalie

  Eh, I have a situation like that, only a daughter. Three years and no way

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