True love. Three unsuccessful marriages - why
Deciding to end a marriage can be scary enough. The fear of loneliness arises, the future becomes uncertain, so many people prefer to endure the average relationship, agreeing with dissatisfaction. You shouldn't do that. If you remain in a failed marriage, this can affect your psychological and emotional state in the future. Therapists and researchers have concluded that an unhappy union leads to low self-esteem, causes problems with anxiety and depression, and impairs health. That being said, divorce can help you recover emotionally. Trust me, you will find a new relationship - statistically, eighty-five percent of divorced people find a partner within five years. So, if you notice these signs in your family, you should think about whether you really need such a union.
You have no sex
One of the alarming signs of a failed marriage is the complete absence of intimate contact. If you have sex less than ten times in a year, your relationship suffers: sex is what separates a romantic relationship from all others. When intimacy disappears, this is a reason to think. If you are not kissing or hugging, this can also be a worrying sign.
You have nothing to talk about
You don't feel close
You can be in the same room, one with a laptop, the other in front of the TV - you have no contact with each other. When you are together, you seem to be alone and still go about your business. This is a sign of a lack of communication between partners. 
You ignore your intuition
Often, our instincts immediately tell when a relationship is not working out, but not everyone is ready to listen to this voice. We ignore these signals, because it is a quiet and calm voice, not at all like the one that lives in thoughts and feeds on vivid emotions. We are usually guided by logic, not feelings, so doubts about love for a partner do not resonate. Listen to what is in your soul. If you no longer want to be around your chosen one, there may be a reason for this.
You are busy with other people's needs and desires.
Many women stay in relationships longer than they should because they are used to putting other people's needs ahead of their own. For women, the role of a caring partner is inherent, but excessive efforts of this kind force them to forget about their own desires. If you no longer feel your own aspirations, you should think about the current situation.
The distance between you keeps growing
Consider how long the situation has been negative and whether your situation is getting worse. Almost everyone experiences difficult moments, nevertheless, if the problem lasts for several years and it is difficult to imagine a way out of it, you should turn to a professional for help. Do this as soon as possible, otherwise the relationship will no longer be saved. The average couple waits about six years from the moment they first notice the problem to the moment they decide to tackle it. Often it is too late, the marriage is ruined, and there is no way to save it. Try to start moving towards solving problems as soon as possible.
You fancy life without your partner
If you often imagine a happy future without a partner, there is probably something wrong with your marriage. This is a sign of a process of emotional estrangement as you begin to subconsciously prepare for a breakup. If you fantasize about cheating or make your own plans for the future without including your partner, your love is dead. Listen to your emotions and decide if you need to work on the relationship or if it's better to end it.
You stopped fighting
If you no longer have any arguments, but you do not feel close, this is a sign of a critical situation. If the couple does not talk about controversial issues, the partners do not share their point of view, this means that the relationship is in a critical state. Unresolved conflicts can make you feel like love is gone. If there is no controversy, you decide whether you want to try working on a relationship or no longer see the point in it.
You have big problems
There are four types of behavior that destroy a relationship. The first is constant criticism, the second is the constant position of defense and refusal to be held accountable. The third is the contempt and manner of insulting the partner, and the fourth is the tendency to emotionally close. If you have one or more of these traits, things will be especially difficult.
You don't listen to each other
If you are not paying attention to your partner and you do not feel that he is listening to you, this is a serious problem. Listening is an essential tool for resolving conflicts, and lack of it can lead to divorce.
You are on the verge of treason
Thanks to modern technologies, it becomes easier to find a new partner. If you start flirting online, you should think about the state of your relationship.
You are communicating with friends, not with a partner.
If, with joy or grief, you go to your friends, and not to the chosen one, this is a clear sign that you are not too happy. Research has shown that in a happy union, partners support each other.
You don't spend time together
If after returning from work, each of you immediately begins to go about your own business, if you are always immersed in your own interests, it seems that there is simply no point in maintaining the relationship further.
You don't go on dates
Can't remember the last time you were on a date? Planning nothing together? Try going to restaurants or movies again to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
Your partner is no longer your priority
Marriage is a sign that you consider your spouse to be your closest person. If your partner is no longer on your priority list, you should seriously consider the state of your relationship.
Modern life is slowly acquiring features of insensitivity and selfishness, and at the same time, many life values are losing their significance.
Thus, the sanctity of marriage, which symbolizes the union of two loving hearts, disappears somewhere. Young men and women more and more often have a frivolous attitude: they cease to perceive this step as one of the most serious and responsible in life. Perhaps this is because people do not realize the need to create a relationship based on love.
One way or another, unsuccessful marriages play only on growth in the numbers of disappointing statistics. Trying to understand only superficially the problem of the situation that caused the break in the family, we insensibly say: “we didn’t agree in character,” “probably,” “he is such and such a bad woman,” “she is a dishonest woman,” and so on. There are many options for conjectural comments. The thing is that in most cases, neither the young people themselves, nor the people around them, do not try to look inside the problem and find where it takes root.
The most common causes of unsuccessful marriages
1. or love? Quite common are cases when young people get married, unable to distinguish an outbreak of love from true love. Cloudedness of mind and inability to adequately analyze the situation leads to the fact that lovers do not attach importance to the level of seriousness of their step. Everything they see is a cloudless future in which there is no place for everyday life and difficulties. That is why young spouses are not ready for the realities of life together. The first everyday problems and the period of "grinding in" are unable to break their relationship only when they are built only on love - a more mature feeling than falling in love. That is why everyone who marries is simply obliged to be aware of the seriousness of his step, to determine the values of marriage, to be able to analyze relationships and really look into the near future.
2. Marriage is a way. Many believe that marriage can prevent the breakup of a relationship. Women often hope that marriage is able to settle men down, and they, in turn, count on favorable changes in women. At the same time, both sides are inclined to believe that the "stamp in the passport" is able to keep the soul mate. It is a myth! In such cases, changes after marriage are almost always for the worse. The only exceptions are those relationships that have been in the stage of meetings and dates for several years. For them, marriage can really be a salvation.
3. Confidence that "will not go anywhere." As a rule, this opinion is the reason for the subsequent laziness. Women do not want to recognize their husband and follow his wishes, men stop courting and reckoning with their wife. They just become too lazy to get to know each other, to understand, to do something pleasant for a loved one. And, in the end, the young are unable to create a strong family based on mutual love and respect.
4. Lack of respect. In marriage, we clearly understand that love and passion are not the only source of successful relationships. It is unlikely that it will be possible to build harmonious communication without mutual respect. And love will not be hardy and as strong as it seemed initially. A lawful relationship between a man and a wife in which there is no respect is an unhappy marriage. Not respecting your soul mate means not respecting yourself.
5. Constant conflicts and quarrels. They appear out of the blue, out of nowhere. Their reasons can even be a cup put in the wrong place, a thing carelessly thrown on a sofa, unwashed dishes and a lot of all sorts of everyday and irrelevant little things. Quarrels in the family become companions of the spouses. The inability to find a compromise and the lack of desire to seek it only makes the situation worse. When quarrels and scandals occur constantly, abnormal family conditions for husband and wife become the norm. Both have a feeling of mutual irritation, which can gradually develop into anger and even hatred.
The presence of all these aspects in a marriage that is falling apart before our eyes indicates that the main reason for the split is the lack of the slightest idea about family life. The concept of marriage should begin to come to us even before the decision to marry or get married. After all, family relationships are a huge work that must be done daily. Therefore, it is better to foresee an unsuccessful marriage before its conclusion. This will help avoid disappointing consequences.
We offer, trainings for women in Kiev
is free.
The consequences of a failed marriage
1. Mental and physiological health problems. An unsuccessful marriage is always a scandal, it is always stress and nervous experiences. Being in constant internal tension and depression, the husband and wife subject their body to weakening. This leads to disruption of its functioning and exhaustion. Depression, cardiovascular disease, obesity and even diabetes mellitus are not a complete list of a disappointing "set".
2.. This is actually very scary, but when sorting out their relationship, the spouses for some reason forget about what their children are going through. For any child, even the slightest discord in the family is stress. And when scandals become systematic, the child does not come out of the depressed state. The consequence of this can be, first of all, diseases. In addition, children have no idea of a normal family at all, which entails problems in establishing a personal life in the future. And most importantly: a child who grows up in constant scandals cannot feel happy. This is reflected in his character, outlook on life and attitude towards people around him.
3. Failure to be happy. When a person is unhappy and puts up with it, he deprives himself of the opportunity to live better. Helplessly clinging to the bonds of a failed marriage, husband and wife continue to test each other's endurance, while feeling an inner failure. The surrounding life for both loses its colors and turns into torture. Every day they literally survive, in the morning setting themselves up that they need to somehow survive until tomorrow. This leads to the fact that both are engaged in slow self-destruction. The consequence of this circumstance is a broken life.
What to do?
First of all, consciously enter into marriage, with the acceptance of all responsibility and responsibilities. If doubts do not leave you - find in yourself their true reason. You should not marry out of despair or get married out of despair to find “your life partner”.
Is it worth keeping a bad marriage? Firstly, it is necessary to solve this exactly for the family, which has been affected by this problem, having answered the question the day before: “Do I want this?”. If the husband or wife has no desire to live together, trying to save the marriage is pointless. Love and family are two concepts that only reinforce each other. Our inability to preserve one of them, excludes from life the possibility of existence for the other.
How to keep your family together? Any relationship must be tried to save. At least one time. You can save a marriage that is bursting at the seams, only you need to work on it for a long time and hard. If you still have the strength, don't miss this opportunity. Bring as much positive as possible to your family and try to eliminate the negative. As long as you allow the second to prevail over the first, you, unfortunately, will not succeed.
I would like to tell you something about my life.
I'll start from childhood. Four of us lived: me, mom, dad, grandmother (dad's mother). Immediately I will make a reservation that I loved all of them madly. Loved as much as a little child's heart is capable of loving. I will not say that our family was happy. Daddy walked and drank. Mom was very worried and also played tricks on the terrible. I was raised (if I may say so) by my grandmother. As far as I can remember, there were constant arguments in our family: who should take care of the child (me). Dad did not like me and considered me a cost of family life. Mom and grandmother were at enmity. So I was shoved back and forth. I was restless and not unnecessary to anyone. Since then, I have had a lot of complexes and two fads: 1. I desperately need love and attention. 2. I really want to have a big, friendly and happy family. When I was 7 years old, my parents divorced - a common story. After the divorce, my mother and I moved into an empty one-room apartment in a residential area. Dad didn't give us anything. In order to somehow survive, my mother had to work hard. Our day was like this: In the morning we went to wash the entrances and clean the yards. Then I went to school, and my mother went to her main job. In the evening, my mother brought trunks with dirty linen, which she washed by hand, and I ironed it - this was another of our earnings. Dad didn't help. He often came to us drunk and beat his mother. I hardly saw my mother. She worked and tried to arrange her personal life. I grew up on the street. I saw a lot of bad things (the era of the 90s was approaching !!!). Fortunately, fate was then kind to me and saved me from many troubles (I still can't believe it). I went to work early. Then I was still in school. The parents of my classmates tried to protect their children from communicating with me. Unlike my friends, I was from an incomplete family, was distinguished by excessive independence, dressed poorly (wearing clothes for my sister and older friend), and often went hungry. I was offended by such an unfair attitude. At that time, I did not smoke or drink (I did not even drink champagne at the graduation party). Because of the prejudice, I spat on everyone and immediately after school went to study and work. Mom and I felt much better. I enjoyed working. I began to help my mother, I could dress well and eat well. Despite the fact that I did not finish my education (I dropped out after the 3rd year), in the process of work I studied and developed. When I got older, my father began to communicate with me more. He became more interested. I often ran to him. I am very much like my dad. Desperately reaching out to him, she loved him deeply and pitied him. I understood that he was the result of drunkenness. My mother and I became very close. I have always trusted her with absolutely everything. She became my very best friend. I am infinitely grateful to her. When I was 15, my grandmother died - she had a stroke. For 9 days of illness, it faded away in my arms. And when I turned 17, my dad died - cancer. I left for a long time and painfully. Mom all this time was constantly next to him. Even then, I clearly understood that there is nothing more important than family, more expensive than close and dear people. When my dad died, I almost died of grief with him. Since then I hate hospitals. This is how we lived ...
And at 18 I fell in love. This was my first and greatest love. We lived together for 5 years. Were happy and unhappy together. But together! Now this person is no longer there, but I remember him. He was good. Only one "but" - he started using drugs. What I just did, I went through so many things - you won't wish the enemy! I think you understand what it means to live with a drug addict. I loved him and wanted to save him, but I didn’t save him. It all started with the fact that he was imprisoned for storage and use. At work they found out about my situation and I was fired. For three months I was torn: I was looking for money, lawyers, and took parcels to prison. The trial took place and he was released, punished with a suspended sentence and bilateral pneumonia. I nursed him, but by that time, my strength was running out. Depression began. While I was trying to solve his problems, I did not pay attention to myself, and when I came to my senses, it was already too late. This has gone too far. Finally, I was crushed by the news that my loved one has HIV and hepatitis. It was a sentence to both of us at the same time, but to each his own. But even after all this, we supported each other. He sat next to me at night when I could not sleep and cried without stopping, and I tried to take care of his health. Mom was very helpful. My depression lasted 3 years. It was terrible! When everything began to improve, he left me. I think that he loved me very much, was afraid to infect me, understood that there was no future - because of this he left. After parting, we talked for 2 years and remained close people until his death.
At 24, I got pregnant from a "childhood friend". At that time, he also experienced a divorce. On this we agreed. When she found out that she was pregnant, she definitely decided to give birth. The "friend" supported me, but the next day he disappeared somewhere. I wasn't looking for him. What for? This was my decision. He did what he saw fit. Now we occasionally communicate. He is still in love with me, offers to be together, but I refuse. I do not like him, we are different, there is a resentment for his act, he needs me, not our child. He does not help us in any way. I saw my daughter twice. She doesn't know that he is her father. Never interested in her. We don't need him. I love my daughter very much and am proud of her. She is all I have.
Half a year after the birth of my daughter, I hired a nanny and went to work. I had to live on something. I must say that I have always worked hard, strived for something and achieved success. Not having a good education and connections - I have achieved a lot and I am proud of it. At that time, I was already making good money. At work I met a young man. He looked after me very nicely. And I complained to my mother: he is too good for me. The guy is positive from all sides: nice, calm, does not drink at all, hard-working. Mom tried to persuade me that at last I was lucky to meet a good and worthy person. I was amazed at his love and persistence. I remembered the words of my grandmother "let them love you better." He took care of me, treated my daughter very well (not every father would treat me that way). I gave up. We started dating and everything was great. Fairy tale! After half a year, he proposed to me, and soon we got married. And two days after the wedding, he started drinking. I drank for a week. Before that, I had not encountered alcoholics and did not know anything about this disease. I thought it was okay. After the binge, he asked for forgiveness, explained that he was tired and allowed himself to relax. Two months later, it all happened again. When I tried to stop him, I called a narcologist, his mother came. It was then that I learned the truth. They concealed from me that my husband is a chronic alcoholic, that he was repeatedly coded, that this has been going on for many years. I was shocked! The mother-in-law said that they hid it all because my husband was afraid of losing me. I understood and we lived on. I drank from once every two months. Every time after a binge, he begged for forgiveness, swore that this would not happen again, asked for help. I felt sorry for him. Forgiven. After all, when he did not drink, he was a wonderful husband and father, but when he went into a binge, he changed beyond recognition. He drank all the money, lost documents, crashed cars, he was fired from his job, he took things out of the house, and ended up in the police. I pulled him out of the departments, burned with shame in front of friends and relatives, dragged him to doctors and hospitals, locked houses, cried and threatened - nothing helped. I understood that instead of raising my daughter, I was hanging around with my husband, I spend all my money and nerves only on him, that this is not right. But I was ashamed and sorry to leave him. After all, he had no one but me. He was already tired of his mother with his antics, his friends turned away. I toiled and did not know what to do. I understood that I could not help him, I only torture myself and the child. Once at a party I met a young man. We began to meet with him from time to time. Mostly in the company of friends. We started an affair, and I divorced my husband. I think I needed a reason to run away from my husband, to break this circle - so I found it. I didn't have enough conscience to just leave.
My life got better quickly. I worked. I talked to people. I met my new boyfriend. I no longer thought about marriage. She did not pay attention to his financial situation at all. At that time, I was already a partner in a transport company, I made very good money, but he did not work. Soon, he somehow quickly moved to me. I didn't even have time to notice how it happened. We got to know each other more and more. Once, he said that before we met him, he had been in prison for 2 years for robbery, not so long ago he had been released, so he had nothing. I still can't explain to myself: how did it all happen, how did we get along with him, why ?! But then it was too late to think - I had already fallen in love. The first half of the year he did not work. I completely clothed him and put on his shoes. It turned out that he had never worked anywhere, so he had to jointly come up with something to do. I made him a work book and got him a job. I bought a car. A year later, we got married and lived normally. Periodically fought, but I attributed it to his temperament and youth (he is younger than me). He did not offend his daughter, but he did not particularly reach out to her. I hoped that over time he would get used to it and change everything. When he started to work, it got a little worse. He felt his independence, often began to offend me not on business, he could go on a spree with friends without warning me that he was delayed. I forgave. After all, everyone quarrels periodically. But then a crisis struck. My husband was cut. I started having problems at work too. I was very worried. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't save the company - the company ceased to exist. I was out of work. Spun as best she could. It was at this point that my second depression began. I was tired and twitched. She was very nervous. She often cried and was irritated. My husband is tired of all this. He was enraged by my worries and problems, lack of money. He left, and I got worse. I was left alone. No money, no work, no everything. Mom helped with her daughter. She gave me a few pennies for food. And I went further and further into a dead end. She asked her husband to return, begged for help and support. He refused. He said that he was tired of me, of such a life. No matter how I tried to convey to him that family life is not only joys, but also sorrows, that you need to hold on to each other, he remained deaf. His attitude made me even more painful. I was at a dead end and saw no way out. Then I decided to commit suicide for the first time. I acted consciously. I was left alone at home, cleaned the apartment, finished all the important things. .. I was found by my friend (he was aware of my situation, and when I did not answer the phone calls, he got worried and rushed in late in the evening). When I woke up, I felt very sorry for my mother and daughter. I decided to fight. I did everything I could. I went to work as a simple dispatcher for little money, rose to the head of a department in a large transport company. There were no more thoughts of suicide. Only inner longing and emptiness remained. I resisted and tried to get rid of it.
A man appeared in my life. For the first time in months, I felt happy. We were very similar, we were tied by common interests and work, we had mutual friends. We spent all the time together, both at work and at home. It was very interesting and fun for us together. There was a mutual understanding between us. I told about myself, he understood everything and supported me in every possible way. It seemed that I could cope with the disease.
And half a year later, my husband returned. He began to call, write SMS, meet after work, ask for forgiveness, beg to return, swear in love, hope that we are a family, that he cannot live without us, that he understood everything. What was there ... I'm stupid! I really liked that person, but I regretted and forgave my husband, returned to him. Oh, if I knew! Together with her husband, the old problems returned. Everything hung on me again. We were still fighting. He started hitting me. Then he begged me to forgive. He explained that he was haunted, that when we parted, I was with another person. I forgave. But nothing has changed. I lacked attention, communication, love, understanding, warmth. It was a shame that my husband was not able to understand and support me in this situation. I felt absolutely lonely among people. I began to get tired of work - I coped with my duties with grief in half. People were annoying. The feeling of guilt in front of my daughter returned, that I devote little time and attention to her, that I cannot give what she needs. Worrying about upsetting my mom. A sense of responsibility pressed down. The physical condition has finally deteriorated. I began to get sick often and take sick leave. Then I had to quit my job. My husband left me again. He said that I do not let him live the way he wants, that I have to cope with my problems myself.
I read everything that I wrote above and I find it funny. It turns out that I'm some kind of stupid loser (I'm talking about my personal life). Although, she was never left without male attention. Itself did not hang on men.
Analyzing my relationships with men, it seems to me that my desire for a childhood dream (remember my 2 points?) And the choice of men (similar to my father) led me to such results. I always wanted to have a family, I was ready to “pay any price,” but I chose the wrong men at all, although I always had a choice.
So how do you choose “those” men? And if you later realize that he is not at all the same, throw him out of your life and forget? What is my fault?
P.s. I'd like to know what men themselves think about it.
But what if the parents get divorced for no reason? Divorce statistics are such that only every second marriage ends sooner or later. In most cases, the initiator of the breakup is the woman.
The reasons for this are different - the alcoholism of the spouse, adultery, physical violence, and the like. However, most often people get divorced because they do not fit each other, have different interests and goals, or simply cool down from passion and after experiencing the moment of falling in love, they understand that they cannot and do not want to live next to each other anymore.
When this is a mutual decision, many problems are immediately resolved, no one takes offense at each other, and the former spouses simply disperse on opposite sides of the road. But what to do if your husband loves you, cares about you, your family life is quite prosperous, only now it seems to you that you don't want to live with your spouse anymore and dream of finding freedom?
Fake ring
Young people should marry solely for love making sure that it is a really strong and strong feeling. If you marry two months after they met, it may well be that the spouses will be disappointed in each other, in family life and in love, which has not withstood the test of everyday life. As a result, love, like a wedding, turns out to be a fake fake.
What to do in this case? Of course, you can repeat many times that the girl herself is to blame, before the wedding she had many opportunities to end a meaningless relationship and it is better to be alone than to suffer from the same loneliness, but already in marriage. But life situations are different. If it so happens that a girl in marriage is unhappy, she must admit this to herself and to her spouse.
It is very important not to delay with this moment, as every day it will be more difficult and unbearable.
Also do not forget about the feelings of the husband, since it is quite possible that he loves you, and living with you will make his feelings even stronger and as a result, separation will be very difficult for him. Thinking about the dilemma of getting divorced or not, you should not convince yourself that there are much fewer happy families than unhappy ones, and many people step over themselves just to save a marriage, especially if it has children. Life is one and after all, no one wants to think in old age about how he wasted many years of his life on an unhappy marriage, although he could still meet a person who would make him happy.
Give yourself freedom
How can you confess your feelings to your spouse, because without this it is impossible to find the long-awaited freedom? Spouses, even being former, remain dear to each other, so they should observe tact and delicacy during conversation. You should talk with your husband as with an old friend about the fact that there is nothing good in marriage anymore, the passion is gone and this is by no means your fault with him, it just happens and no one is immune from this.
Sit down and think about what kind of life you would like for yourself, if there is a place for deception and hypocrisy, perhaps you would need to change something and start life in a new way. Most likely, you will come to a common denominator that your plans do not coincide and will disperse peacefully, because who wants to live with a person who does not love and does not want to be around.
Another situation is also possible - the man does not want to let you go and wants to be near you... He will be unbearably hurt, this is a natural feeling of someone who is faced with the separation of a loved one, but he must experience these emotions on his own. It will not be easier for anyone from your regret and short meetings, it is best to leave the person's life and not return, at least until the awkwardness disappears in the relationship and your presence does not cause suffering to your ex-husband.
Divorce is the division of life into two, that is, you have to divide not only property, but also life itself - friends, favorite places for entertainment, and the like. Be prepared to give up a lot, but at the same time a new life will open up in front of you, full of new opportunities.
It's much harder to part with your husband if he is the father of your children, but again, nothing prevents him from loving and taking care of them at a distance, coming to visit them or inviting them to him for the weekend. If you continue to live with children in an unhappy marriage, this will negatively affect their perception of the family, they will believe that scandals and conflicts in the family are the norm, but this is not so, this is another source of happiness in a person's life. Marriage can bring happiness to both spouses and children only if it is based on love, respect and mutual understanding. If this is not the case, there is no need to torture each other.
Destiny enters without knocking
Those people who are going through divorce have a completely different view of marriage and family life. They are ready to put up with something, they openly rebel against something, especially if the previous relationship went wrong because of this. Of course, at first it will seem that family life is absolutely not for you that if you were unlucky once, it is unlikely that fate will be able to give you another chance. In fact, love is an unpredictable feeling that can visit your heart as soon as an hour or three years later. The main thing is that you are open to love and do not make a kind of cult out of your negative experience, an event that will certainly repeat itself again.
After a divorce, many face pain and loneliness, even if they themselves were the initiators of the breakup. This is quite normal, because changes are taking place in your life and a person who was previously very close to you has left your life. Gradually you will begin adapt to a new world and a new self- free and temporarily lonely.
Once you know you’re ready for a relationship, make it your point to look good at all times. Make an effort to look confident, change your hairstyle, buy a pair of beautiful outfits, be more among people and actively make new acquaintances. This can distract you from negative thoughts. Don’t allow male dislike to settle in your heart, even if your ex-husband made many mistakes during your marriage.
All people are different and there is probably a man somewhere nearby who fully meets your expectations. In no case should you think that “a woman after a divorce” is some kind of stigma, a defect that will lead to the fact that most likely you will not find a lover for yourself. This is not true. You need to see the pros in everything... The obvious merits of being married are experience. You already know what family life is, what is needed in order to preserve it, what is of primary importance in the relationship between husband and wife, and what is secondary. The experience of living together and communicating with your spouse's relatives is also very useful, you will feel more confident in crisis situations.
There are also plenty of men who have experienced an unsuccessful marriage, so you should not think that only you survived the divorce, the main thing is that you want a sincere relationship and know what is important to you in family relationships and your loved one.
As soon as you meet that very one, you will feel how easy it has become for you to live, how love makes you softer, more feminine and more desirable, how confident you feel in life and deprived of your previous fears.
Which does not bring you happiness. Indeed, life is too short to be wasted in unhealthy relationships.
So why does the mere thought of divorce cause panic? Unwelcome thoughts immediately enter my head: How will I live alone? How will our children react to this? Am I destined to live alone until the end of my days?
Naturally, such negative thoughts only cause pain and depression. And if you try to focus on the positive that divorce can unexpectedly turn out to be? There are at least 11 reasons why divorce is so much better than being unhappy.
1. Marriage is safer, but divorce will allow you to start a new life!
Even in bad times, you know what the future holds for you. And this makes you feel a certain amount of security. But divorce gives hope to finally become who you want, hope to be happy, a chance to find a loved one.
2. It is better to be a single parent than to show the child swearing and quarrels.
If you have children, it is better to get a divorce than to live in a failed marriage. The formation of the child's psyche occurs at an early age. And if children see parents' scandals, then in the future they will most likely reproduce similar relationships in their family life.
3. You deserve a partner who will treat you the same way you treat him.
Divorce is definitely better than a loveless marriage. All people deserve to be loved. Why live in a marriage where love and respect are not a priority?
4. After a divorce, you will not only get freedom, but also the chance to meet a more suitable partner.
Divorce is always painful, but once it happens, you will feel relieved. By becoming a free person, you are more likely to be able to meet your true soul mate!
5. Divorce will help you see yourself with different eyes.
After a divorce, you will fall in love with yourself again. You will be able to channel all the love and energy that a bad marriage was sucking on your children. You will find peace, happiness and joy in life.
6. Divorce is better than your children’s persistent aversion to family life.
What could be worse for a child than living in an atmosphere of hostility and seeing his parents unhappy? Perhaps the life of all family members will become much better and happier after the divorce.
7. Divorce will reveal to you the difference between loneliness and solitude.
After a divorce, you will learn to enjoy loneliness and free yourself from the terrible feelings of separation that invariably arise after being with the wrong person.
8. You and your partner will no longer interfere with each other's growth.
The only thing that distinguishes a “bad” marriage from a “good” one is mutual efforts to get better. Therefore, sometimes divorce allows both partners to grow personally and achieve what they want.
9. By getting rid of negativity in your marriage, you can become a better parent.
Divorce will prove that you have the desire and courage to live a happy life. And if you become happier, you will be a much better parent.
10. You finally get your hands on other important areas of life.
If you used to spend a lot of energy to save your marriage, now you will have more strength for yourself and your children. Don't put all your energy into relationships that no longer work!
11. You lose your spouse, but in return you get personal happiness.
Life is too short to waste it on scandals and showdown. Let your spouse go and finally become a happy person!