Useful tips for moms of preschool children. Helpful advice for parents about parenting. Always say if you feel bad
Irina Pismak
Useful tips for child development
Useful Tips teachers and psychologists.
I. Today's market abounds in a variety of toys for children of different ages. However, the attention of parents should be attracted not only by quality, but also toys useful for child development.
II. In the toy household, both a boy and a girl should have at least one or two toys each. of the kind:
For movement development(ball, hoop, etc.);
Two or three board games (pyramid, constructor, cut pictures);
One or two cars, dolls with "Dowry" and a set of dishes, toy animals;
Fun toy;
Musical toy
III. It is better to buy toys in advance, you should not take the baby to the shops to shop (especially if it is a large store with an abundance of goods)... He is still too small to choose among the many toys what he really needs. Child asks to buy the first toy that caught my eye, does not understand why he is refused. After a long search, a new toy no longer brings joy.
IV. V child's field of vision there should not be many toys at the same time, he simply will not notice them, two or four are enough to an interesting game unfolded... The rest of the toys are stored in a specific place. After classes with it, the board game should not be left on the table, let the baby carefully fold it and put it in the closet, and only then take another toy. Part of the toys with which child does not play, must be taken out of the children's room, and then show some as a surprise.
V. Toys should be periodically washed, cleaned and repaired. Broken, unrepairable toys should not be stored, otherwise they will litter the room, bring up negligence.
Vi. To child learned how to clean toys on my own, you must observe the following conditions:
Make cleaning your toys an experience in itself. Set aside a special time for this, 5-10 minutes, without allowing yourself to rush child or clean up for him;
Decide where to store your toys. In no case should you collect them in one common box, in a heap;
Make it so that to kid was not a burden to clean toys, do it with him. It doesn't matter how many toys he puts in place and how many you are, the main thing is to make you feel to kid that he is a participant in an important matter;
Show a warm, kind attitude towards toys by your behavior;
The kid should certainly be praised for the work done. List what he did, admire room: "Oh, how beautiful, what order!"
Vii. Adults should enable to kid play independently, but must also organize educational games that can only be carried out under the guidance of an adult. Now we will try to play such games.
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“Why is it necessary to develop a sense of rhythm in a child?” Rhythms accompany us everywhere. It is difficult to imagine an area wherever a person encounters.
Every parent dreams of raising a healthy, happy and harmoniously developed child. Along the way, he encounters obstacles and questions for which there is no answer. Or, on the contrary, there are too many answers and it is not clear which one is correct. It remains to rely on common sense and expert opinion. We chose from books useful advice based on the achievements of science and practice, which will be a good help for parents.
1. Let the kids play more often
Since 1955, the time that children spend on play has decreased, but at the same time, their level of anxiety increases, depression, a feeling of helplessness and, at the same time, children's narcissism and a decrease in empathy are more often observed. Unpleasant statistics. But it is in the power of adults, each of us, to give their child what he needs for harmonious development. The game in this sense is needed like air.
Why does shortening play time lead to emotional and social disorders? Play is a natural way to teach children to solve their problems, control desires, manage emotions, look at a problem from different perspectives, discuss disagreements, and communicate with each other as equals. There is no other way to master these skills. This is why it is so important for the child to spend a lot of time playing.
2. Stimulate curiosity
Children have an innate tendency to learn about the world, which must be supported. One of the ways to do this is to show all possible, the most diverse options for solving problems. Experiments confirm this idea: if, in the process of playing, a child is immediately shown one and only function of a toy, he will come to the conclusion that it cannot do anything else. But when the toy was given to the child "at the mercy", they guessed to use it in different ways, not in one way.
The conclusion is simple. Those who weren't specially trained had no reason to think that they had been shown all possible options, so they began to study it more thoroughly and discovered new possibilities for their use. And this does not only apply to games. But also to life.
3. Allow your child to be friends with elders
In different age groups, young children have the opportunity to do things that would be too difficult or dangerous to do on their own or in a group of peers. They can also learn something by simply watching the older kids and listening to their conversations. Seniors are emotionally supportive and caring for younger ones better than their peers.
In the 1930s, Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky coined the term "zone of proximal development." It means an activity that a child is not able to perform on his own or with peers, but can be performed with the participation of more experienced people. Vygotsky assumed that children acquire new skills and develop thinking by interacting with others in the zone of their proximal development.
This is why being able to interact with older children is important for a child's physical, social, emotional and mental development.
4. Live Yourself by the 4:30 AM Rule
Ultra-runner Travis Macy talks about the "4:30 AM Rule" that his father and himself have always followed. It began, as you might guess, with an early rise. But that’s not the point. At least not the whole point. Travis' father, Mark, was the father of two, worked hard on his career as a lawyer, dabbled in running and cycling, and began racing, which soon led him to compete in the ultra marathon.
And now, when he is over sixty, dad lives in the same regime, only now he wakes up at four in the morning (or even earlier). He participates in all the important moments of his grandchildren's life and still never misses my competition. Incredible. Amazing.
Travis Macy grew up as a wonderful family man, a loving father and an athlete with incredible fortitude -
Training and competition ran counter to his main tasks as a family man and a professional. But as a person striving to live life to the fullest and achieve success in everything, he was determined to make it so that it all somehow worked together. And he came up with it. Dad knew the best time to work was early in the morning. While other people slept or rocked slowly before the start of the day, Dad was already at work. Waking up every morning no later than 4:30, Dad had time to go to the office to work, then have a lunch jog, return to work for a few hours, stop at the bike trail and ride a mountain bike on the way home and return home early enough to spend time with us and attend all of our extracurricular activities.
What is the meaning of this rule? As parents, you must be firm in your decisions.
In short, if you make a decision in advance, then when the time comes to act, you are no longer distracted by the thought of whether you want to do it or not. Don't take this rule literally; getting up at 4:30 in the morning is just an example of how strong the will must be in order to be successful.
A strong internal commitment - to parenting, family, relationships (or a workout program and project at work) - is the most important thing you can do in life. This is where it all starts. And you set a worthy example for children.
5. Support your child
Psychologists have developed a formula: 10,000 hours of practice are equal to expertise in any business. In studies that have focused on composers, basketball players, writers, skaters, pianists, chess players, hardened criminals, and so on, this number meets with surprising regularity. Mozart began writing music at the age of 6, and his first great works appeared only at the age of 21. Or another example: it also takes about ten years to become a grandmaster. (Only the legendary Bobby Fischer came to this honorary title faster: it took him nine years. But not three years and not a year!) 
10,000 hours is equivalent to 3 hours of practice a day, or 30 hours a week for ten years.
If you notice talent in your child, let him reveal it. It is impossible to work 10,000 hours without parental support. Remember, 10,000 hours is a very, very long time. Children and young people cannot work that many hours alone. We need parental support and help. This parenting style is called co-development. Its task is to actively "stimulate and evaluate the talents, skills and motives of the child."
If you want to raise a genius (or at least not an unhappy person), give your child the opportunity to do what he loves, without restrictions.
6. Teach children to distinguish good from bad
If the bad deed is rewarded, then the young brain can identify it as beneficial in terms of the individual's survival. If a child, showing aggression, receives support, but showing a desire for interaction, does not receive such support, his brain can easily remember that aggression is good for his survival.
If a toddler is rewarded when sick and loses it when he recovers, he will form appropriate long-term bonds.
The brain does not learn from parenting experts or from textbooks of etiquette. He learns on the basis of changes in the content of certain neurochemical substances. Every time you and your children were rewarded or, on the contrary, felt threatened, you added new circuits to the neural infrastructure that tells you where to look for respect, recognition and trust in the future.
7. Make your children feel happy more often.
Happy moments in the past create special connections between neurons that are ready to produce "happiness hormones" the next time you experience such positive feelings. In other words, the more often your child feels happiness and joy, the easier it will be for him as an adult.
For example, a child who is highly respected by his parents because of his computer skills will develop neural connections that allow him to expect greater joy in helping others in this way. He repeats his actions, and new neural pathways of happiness appear in his nervous system.
Each positive moment strengthens neural pathways, and our brain is designed in such a way that it "turns" to those paths that are the strongest and most often used. A person accumulates experience from childhood, and then turns to it all his life.
8. Hug children more often.
Touches and hugs are not someone's whim. There is a clear physiological basis that makes both adults and children happy when they show affection for each other. Oxytocin is a "happiness hormone" that is secreted in mammals.
Having children also causes a significant rush of oxytocin. And both parents and children. Raising other people's children also helps to increase the level of oxytocin.
Oxytocin gives us the pleasure of being calm around those we trust. This is not a conscious decision, but rather a physical sense of security. Neural pathways formed with the participation of oxytocin arise throughout our lives. And it is very important to form them in childhood, so that the child more often feels the joy of life.
9. Leave the idea that you are determining the future of your child.
If we ourselves value freedom and are responsible for our actions, then we must respect the child's right to make his own way in life. Our aspirations cannot become the aspirations of a child, as well as vice versa. The search for your own course begins in early childhood.
To learn to take responsibility for themselves, children must learn to make decisions every hour, day or year, and they can only learn this through practice.
All loving and caring parents care about the future of their children, so it's hard for them not to try to control them. But any attempt made under control will not lead to the goal. When we try to determine the fate of a child, we do not give him control over his life and learn from his own mistakes.
Being a good parent is not easy, which is why millions of married couples are studying various books and manuals on how to properly treat their child. Many moms and dads have already achieved success by applying the 12 parenting tips. So what is their secret? What rules do they follow to create a harmonious relationship with their children?
1. Patience at the limit is normal.
How often it happens that children do not pay attention to the remarks of their parents, and sometimes even violently resist their instructions. When a critical moment comes, moms and dads give up and give in to the child. In doing so, they want to keep the peace, with patience, they want to be "good parents." But thus parents lose their authority- if the children press hard, they will get what they want under pressure.
It is important to remember that everyone can lose patience, we are all human and everyone can lose their temper, there is nothing wrong with that. It is really difficult to contain anger and irritation, especially if the children do everything as if it were evil. The child must understand that you do not like this behavior, you cannot follow the lead of your son or daughter. Allow your emotions to manifest, and do not harbor them inside yourself, let your child and yourself know that you do not agree with the situation. The accumulated negative will eventually find a way out, only then all family members can suffer, and children most of all.
2. Teach your child to enjoy the toy, rather than counting its price
When purchasing an expensive toy for a baby, parents often ask to treat it with special trepidation, constantly reminding them how much it costs. But for a child it does not matter, because he still cannot evaluate things and objects based on their monetary costs.
The understanding of the value of money will come to him later, and when children are small, they are equally interested in playing with both simple trinkets and expensive toys. Even playing with a simple sheet of paper or a bag sometimes seems more fun to them than playing with a radio-controlled helicopter.
3. Punishment is a manifestation of love
Do you consider yourself a bad parent when you have to punish your children? When a son or daughter does stupid things, you have the right to be angry with them, and therefore punish them. Scolding is a loving measure; without it, the child will not learn to see the boundaries of what is permissible.
By punishing them in a timely manner, children begin to understand that every action they take has consequences., they grow up to be people who know how to be responsible for their actions. Remember that being good parents does not mean at all that you need to turn a blind eye to the bad behavior of your child and allow everything to him.
4. Don't be afraid to refuse
How nice it is to answer affirmatively to all the kids' requests, because they are so sincerely happy! But a constant “yes” can lead to relationship problems several years later. A child who is not accustomed to rejection will, over time, demand more and more, what then should parents do? Will they be able to fulfill all the whims and requests of a teenager?
Do not be afraid to refuse young children for the time being, show firmness when necessary by saying your firm “no”. When you refuse a child for the first time, you may be rebuffed in the form of tears, whims, tantrums, but do not give in, if the decision is made, stick to your word. Having once yielded to the baby under the influence of whims, it will subsequently become even more difficult to deny him something else.
5. Raise your children to be independent
Not trusting children to do small tasks around the house, doing all the work for them, you will achieve only one thing - when they grow up, they will not be able to do basic things, such as heating their own food or washing the dishes. It is necessary to accustom the child to independence from early childhood. Contact them with a request to help collect toys, dust off.
If the daughter wants to wash the plate, let her, even if the result is not the best, still praise the girl for her initiative and diligence. Never tell a child that he will not succeed, do not do the work for him. Such words will discourage anyone from taking on any business in the future. In doing so, parents do not give their kids the opportunity to develop independence.
Note to moms!
Hello girls! Today I will tell you how I managed to get in shape, lose 20 kilograms, and, finally, get rid of the terrible complexes of overweight people. I hope you find this information useful!
6. Do not deprive yourself of the right to rest
The responsibility to raise children is a work that requires constant effort and attention, and it is also 24/7. You can't leave her, get a vacation too. But moms and dads still need to rest to recuperate. Sometimes it is worth taking a so-called day off.
Teach your child to understand your sleep and rest needs... Explain that while mom is lying down, the children can do something interesting - draw, mold a plasticine figurine, or just watch cartoons. Teach them to play quietly and not ask their mom when she is resting. However, observe the measure - babies should not be left without adult supervision for a long time, you will be rested, but the child is left to himself.
7. Form a habit of eating right from an early age
Adequate and proper nutrition at an early age is what you need to teach your children, because human health depends on it. If you choose healthy foods yourself, let your child adopt this habit from you. It is a mistake to believe that while children are young, they can eat everything - sweets and chips. This does not mean that babies should only eat cereals and vegetables, but you should not add fast food or other unhealthy foods to their daily diet.
The greatest danger here is represented by grandmothers - they constantly think that their grandchildren are hungry, offering them either pies or pancakes. Tactfully, but strictly explain to elderly relatives that, showing excessive care and love for babies, they harm their health.
8. Having children is not the end of life
Being a parent does not mean giving up your own interests and entertainment. Of course, moms and dads do not have as much time to meet friends and go to the movies as they used to, when the children were not yet born. But you cannot completely deprive yourself of some kind of emotional relief. It is important to learn how to combine parenting with your interests, to find a middle ground.
9. Take an interest in your child's life
By showing an interest in what your baby does and is passionate about, you build a solid foundation for good relationships in the future. In early childhood, your child can enthusiastically tell you about Pokémon, Peppa Pig and other favorite characters, new toys and cartoons.
By delving into the words of children, getting to know their world, you become close friends. When the baby grows up, he will begin to share with you already more adult problems and hobbies, knowing that you will not dismiss him, but support and listen.
10. Parents need to be able to ask for forgiveness
To base your upbringing on the principle “mom is always right” and stubbornly not to admit your mistakes is fundamentally wrong. Everyone is wrong - both children and adults. And since you are teaching your toddler to ask forgiveness for his wrongdoing, be so kind as to follow your own rules and also admit your guilt.
Yes, it can be difficult, but there is nothing shameful about it. Such objective observance of the rules in your family will allow you to build harmonious and warm relations with your child on an equal footing.
11. The limit has come - take a time out
There are situations when the atmosphere heats up almost to the limit, when emotions, replacing each other, overwhelm and are ready to splash out. In this case, it is worth taking a time-out - ask your grandmother or friend to take the children for at least an hour or two to give yourself the opportunity to regain peace of mind.
Feel that the peak of emotional overexcitation is coming, stop, go to another room for at least 20 minutes, take a shower, think about your upcoming trip to the sea. This will help you avoid a lot of conflict situations and learn to stay calm.
12. Your kids are the best in the world
For parents, their child, even an adult (namely, a child for you, he will be both 5 and 45) will always be the best, most beautiful, intelligent, sweet and kind. Do not be afraid of your feelings, but show them as often as possible.... Some moms and dads believe that excessive love and care will only spoil their children, so they begin to criticize them. Do not deprive the child of support and tenderness, because they are the ones that are more effective than any educational measures.
Before giving the child independence, you need to take care of his safety.
Today we will tell you how to teach your child how to behave with strangers.
You can show these illustrations to your child and discuss any dangerous situations with him.
Hide first and last name
Do not write the child's first and last name on his things, do not hang name key rings on a children's backpack, do not sign a lunch box or a thermos. So his name can be recognized by someone else. If a stranger refers to a child by name, he immediately inspires confidence in him and can further manipulate the baby.
Better write your phone on the tag - in case the item gets lost.
Run away from cars in the opposite direction
We teach children not to get into a car with strangers - that's right. Let the child learn one more rule: if a car slows down near him or she is following him, and someone from the car wants to attract his attention, you need to quickly run away in the opposite direction to the movement of the vehicle... This will help the child buy time and seek help.
Come up with a password for the family
If a stranger invites the child to go to where mom or dad is waiting for him, have the child ask him for his parents' names and password. Come up with your child passphrase for an emergency, if you suddenly ask someone you know to pick up your child from kindergarten or school. The password must be unexpected, so that it cannot be guessed: for example, "fluffy orange".
Install tracking apps
Thanks to the GPS sensor, the application shows the coordinates of your child and the battery level of his phone.
- Life360 Locator iOS | Android
- GPS Phone Tracker iOS |
Wear a watch with a panic button
Gadgets with a panic button come in the form of a watch, key fob, bracelet or medallion. Parents, through a special mobile application, can constantly track the location of the child, and if he clicks a button, the parents or the security service receive a signal.
Shouting "I don't know him!"
Tell your child that if a stranger grabbed him, then you can and should be "bad": bite, kick, scratch and attract attention at any cost, even if it is very scary. You need to shout loudly: “I don't know him! He wants to take me away! "
Stop talking and keep your distance
The child should know that strangers can chat not only children, but also adults, so it is important to quickly go to a safe place within 5-7 seconds after the start of the conversation. You should stand at a distance of 2–2.5 meters from a stranger; if it gets closer, you need to take a step back. Rehearse this situation with your child, show a distance of 2 meters and warn that during the conversation it must be kept.
Don't enter an elevator with strangers
Teach your child to wait for the elevator with his back to the wall so that he can see everyone who comes up to him. And if this is a stranger or someone unfamiliar, under any pretext do not go into the elevator with him: pretend that he forgot something, or go to the mailbox. If someone invites you to come in, the best option is to politely reply that your parents only allow you to ride the elevator alone or with your neighbors. If a stranger tries to drag you into an elevator or hold your mouth, you need to fight, shout and bite.
Warn your child that in the modern world, criminals can find their victim via the Internet, and not always "Misha from the house next door" is really a 10-year-old boy next door. A dangerous person can conduct harmless correspondence. Explain that you cannot tell strangers, even children, your phone number, address, surname, send photos and tell when and where you like to walk. And all the more, you cannot agree to a walk with a stranger.