Psychology how to communicate with men. How to communicate with a man? Secrets of Building Strong Relationships
As you know, at the beginning of a relationship, a man looks at a woman with admiring and adoring eyes. But over time, this sparkle in the eyes fades away, since many couples do not even realize that a relationship is a job, so you cannot relax.
The woman who wants her beloved to always look only at her must follow some rules of communication with her beloved man. Let's consider these rules in more detail.
Every man deserves his own woman. And vice versa.
Dilya Derdovna Enikeeva
Why are there communication rules?
Surely each of you has faced such a problem that a man who, at the beginning of your relationship, looked at you with admiring and adoring eyes, eventually loses this shine in his eyes.The thing is that many of you forget that any relationship is also work, and you should never relax, believing that the man is completely yours and that no one can ever separate you.
It doesn't matter whether it's a first date or long years of marriage, a woman who wants her beloved man to always look only at her must follow the unspoken rules of communication with men.
Rule 1: Complimenting
First of all, do not forget about compliments and kind words... This fact is far from stereotyped, but men react to compliments no less than women.This can be praise regarding appearance, or a compliment to the qualities shown in a certain situation, or a positive assessment of success at work. The main thing is to create in the man the feeling that you see his efforts.
Every man has some dignity, only he needs to point them out.
Erich Maria Remarque
Rule 2: Learning to Listen
Also you need to learn to listen... Always let the man speak out, inspire him to share his memories, plans, doubts with you. Let him always be in the spotlight, and leave your affairs for the ears of your friends. This way he will trust you more and become more attached.
Rule 3: First we go to contact
By the way, men are not always the first to make contact, so don't be afraid to be interested and ask questions.Emphasize your interest in your beloved man, he will definitely notice it.
Rule 4: don't criticize
Another important point is not to criticize. Anyway, not openly criticize or accuse.Of course, the showdown generally spoils the relationship, but men react more painfully to criticism.
It is better to resort to gentle encouraging forms like "next time you will do better", "no big deal."
Rule 5: don't push the man
Should be avoided and pressure on a man... There is no need to impose any plans or decisions on him, insist on your convictions, argue to the point of exhaustion, let him get the impression that he always decides everything, and you only support him.According to statistics, men are more likely to choose women who are soft and flexible than strong-willed. You can successfully implement your leadership qualities at work or in your favorite hobby.
Rule 6: do not reproach
Not worth it for a long time reproach a man, if he did not follow your advice, finishing him off with his catchphrase "Well, I told you so."Here, depending on the degree of globality of the problem, one can either remain silent, or delicately point out that the correct option was present during the discussion, without particularly insisting on its significance.
A man and a woman are two boxes that hold keys to each other.
Karen Blixen (Isak Dinesen)
Rule 7: Don't wash dirty linen in public
Avoid public showdown, remarks or reproaches in front of strangers, even if they are your best friends. In general, try to make sure that all your problems and misunderstandings remain only between you.Rule 8: Speak Directly, Without Hints
Yes, don't forget that men don't take hints, and if you really need to ask them for something or provide information that you consider extremely important, do it directly, without ado. If you wait for him to understand everything by your meaningful appearance, or he himself guesses to do it, then you can wait like this all your life.
By the way, if we are talking about a request, then men love to be useful, to feel needed, so do not be afraid to ask them for specific help, but, of course, without fanaticism.
Conclusion
If you start following these simple rules for communicating with men, then very soon you yourself will be able to see that your relationship has become better and more pleasant.What is lightness in love? What do men mean by this? How to get her back if she disappeared? This inspiration article will provide answers to burning questions and help those who are tired of difficult and difficult relationships.
Men who have recently broken up with a girlfriend or wife often say they lacked the ease in their relationship. They are not lying! For us women, the phrase “easy relationship” almost always means “relationship without obligation,” but is it really so? Let's figure it out.
In the beginning there was lightness ...
At the beginning of your romance, there were short and hot dates, gentle SMS correspondence, exchange of photos. What were you talking about? Most likely, they shared interesting stories from life, discussed films, dreamed about something and fantasized about the weather and nature. Both of you enjoyed your time together. And they certainly did not discuss the dollar rate and politics, did not complain about their low salaries, colleagues and bosses. So?
You looked at HIM with adoration, you found dignity in him, you respected his masculinity. And you always looked 100% and, of course, smiled! For HIM this is EASY!
Sound familiar? This story is about you. Yes, you were like that quite recently. And then something suddenly happened. And now he complains that he is tired of a difficult relationship, that he needs "ease." And after these words you think: "He stopped loving me" or "He does not want to take responsibility for the relationship." STOP! This is not true!
In his head, a completely different picture! He still loves you, he just really lacks your attention lately. The usual female attention and participation, without criticism and controversy, without discussing utility bills, without advice in the style of "I told you so!", Without scandals due to scattered socks. Without all this, do you understand?
He BEEPS! He wants to awaken in you that woman who inspired him to feats and adored him, not hiding her delight! And this gave him courage and determination.
What to do? How to return the former LIGHTNESS in a relationship?
How to bring lightness back into a relationship?
I will share with you effective ways that you can begin to enjoy your relationship with renewed vigor. But first, remember: to regain lightness - do not complicate!
1. Learn to be silent in the bedroom
Stop talking about problems in bed, and in general, keep any conversations in the bedroom to an absolute minimum! All you can do is talk about how you want him, how strong and gorgeous he is. The bedroom is not made for talking - the bedroom is for sex and love!
2. Give him time
Meet him with a smile and do not start everyday conversations for at least 30 minutes after he came. Give the man time to step out of the role of an assertive businessman and turn into your affectionate "cat".
3. Become unpredictable
Do not roll jealousy scenes out of the blue or just out of habit. Do not ask where he was and who is texting him! Allow him to notice that you are acting "strange" and he will begin to make an effort to get your attention back.
4. Encourage him, believe in him
Praise him. Praise him for everything! For the way he skillfully twisted the light bulb, for the way he sharpened the knife, for the heroic creation of a dinner, or for the accidentally washed cup. He is always waiting for your approval. Just don't overdo it. Remember: he is not a toddler, but a grown man. Praise him as a man.
Trust in him no matter what happens. Believe and that's it. He can, he is strong! Tell him this and trust that he will cope with any difficulties. Because you have the BEST man!
5. Master the art of listening and hearing
Listen to him without interrupting! If he wants to speak out after a working day, listen to him silently. If he is not ready to pour out his soul, do not drag him into a dialogue by force, a man sometimes needs silence and loneliness.
6. Give him a sense of need.
When your eyes burn from the fact that he is just there, from the fact that you can cuddle up to him and watch a movie on his shoulder, when you are sincerely glad that you have him, then he feels that you need him. Give him a sense of need, tell him about it.
7. Find Something You Can Respect For
You will be surprised, but there are many positive qualities to which you simply stopped paying attention. Find them again or discover something special in it. Respect him! For a man, words of respect mean much more than words of love.
Remember that he does not need a mother, he already has one. In you, he wants to see an ally and a woman whom he will lead. Give him that feeling, show your feminine flexibility.
9. Give him freedom and become free
The most terrible punishment for any person is the restriction of freedom. Don't let the relationship become a prison cell for both of you! Treat with understanding and respect that he sometimes wants to be in a male company or alone. By the way, nothing brings you together like separation. Take a break from each other at least once a month, let each other miss you - this will add fire to your feelings.
10. Surprise him
Take him out on a date at a cozy café that has something on the menu that he loves. Thus, you will show how attentive to his tastes.
11. Intrigue him
Tell him about your dreams related to your shared future. Describe everything brightly, colorfully and positively, but do not wait or demand an answer or urgent implementation right now. Just like that, looking into the sky, dreamily tell him a beautiful story in which he is the main character.
12. Develop
Become interesting to yourself. Do something new, meet your friends, read, draw, dance, whatever! You will begin to pique his interest, he will look at you in a new way. A keen woman is an alluring space for a man. He will want to solve you over and over again.
13. Smile
Light "Gioconda's smile" ... Mysterious, alluring, calming and giving him the feeling that he is at home, that he is welcome and his woman is next to him, she is happy, which means he is her hero!
14. Compliment him.
Is it trite? Not at all! Men, no less than women, are waiting for confirmation of their uniqueness and value. Give it to him! Pay attention to specific details. Compliment "You look great!" will not work, this is an impersonal phrase. Much better: “How does this shirt suit you, I like it so much! You are a real macho! " You will see how he will immediately try to justify your words.
15. Choose words, for they materialize
Finally, stop complaining about your job, boss, salary, country, neighbors. Just stop and that's it. Your thoughts are powerful energy, and your words have even more potential. Choose a happy life and talk about good things. If you need to discuss something unpleasant, then say it without unnecessary tragedy, but with a grain of humor and optimism.
Speak directly, and do not hint. Your directness should not be devoid of correctness! Formulate what you want to say in such a way that you do not "hurt" the man with words or phrases. You should at least predict its "weak points". If you don't know them, be careful with every word you say.
- Second:
In the first twenty seconds of communication, have time to tell the man what is most important to you. That is how long a representative of the opposite sex is able to show patience for "listening" to the interlocutor.
- Third:
Don't try to be a “different” woman. When communicating, you need to remain yourself. By the way, very few people know how to do this. Everyone tries to appear the way they want to see them. But no one even thinks about the fact that sooner or later a person will show himself to be real…. Do not be ashamed of yourself and your shortcomings (whatever they may be). You, like all people on earth, have your own "unique uniqueness." Do not ruin her under the "masks of wrong ideality"!
- Fourth:
Before making plans that "include" a man, make (in your head) a list of questions that will help you find out if he has any personal affairs at the "intersection" with the plans that you have for him. Men do not like such "surprises".
- Fifth:
Praise the man if he shares an achievement with you. And in that case, praise if this achievement seemed to you a trifle, stupidity, meaninglessness or insignificance. This is the psychology of communication with men, which will certainly benefit you.
- Sixth:
Do not drive a man into the "paint of shame"! Otherwise, you run the risk of developing an inferiority complex in a man, and for yourself "ensure" a complete loss of confidence and the man himself. Shame is something that humiliates men very much.
- Seventh:
Try not to use such phrases as “I feel”, “I suppose” or “I think” in dialogues with men. Use, for example, "I think." So you "imbued" with the understanding of you more as a man.
- Eighth:
Be silent if a man is wrong, but is trying to prove his righteousness. Speak, but do not lead to an argument. Men do not like to argue, because they are afraid to be losers as a result. It's hard to be silent - agree with the man (for him, not for yourself) and smoothly transfer the topic of conversation to another. On the one that will really be able to interest a man.
- Ninth:
When you are talking to a man, do not react painfully to his pauses. If he fell silent somewhere in the middle of the conversation - he thought. Men reason out loud, but very rarely. When you finish saying something - lower your tone of voice, and do not keep it "raised". Otherwise, the man may decide that you are unhappy with something or think that he said something wrong.
- Tenth:
Don't base your conversation around solid questions. The man will begin to be annoyed by this, and he will look for any excuse to run away on business (which, perhaps, is not on his agenda).
- Eleventh:
Never start serious conversations in the evening. The man came home from work, tired, dreaming of rest. And with your conversation, which is so important to you, you can scare a person. Knowing the female talkativeness, he will think (with horror) that you will talk about something until dawn.
- Twelfth:
Men “close” in themselves if they feel female intellectual superiority. Mask the "peaks" of your mind so that the man does not feel uncomfortable.
- Thirteenth:
If you need to interrupt a man urgently, interrupt him with skill: say what you went to such "impoliteness" for and immediately say some compliment to the man's address.
- Fourteenth:
Do you want to beg for a gift of some kind? Go shopping with a man, tell him what you are going to buy. A gentleman will understand. No - don't insist on gifts. Never humiliate yourself with the famous whimsical "well, buy". Men get very angry when they watch it.
- The fifteenth:
Never look for something unsaid in a man's words. If he asked to feed him - he just wants to eat. He has no desire to reproach you for not feeding him.
- Sixteenth:
Do not ask the man what problems he has at work, why he is not in the mood, and so on. Men prefer to share their "grief" on their own, without questions or interrogations. When a man considers it necessary, he will come and tell you everything!
- Seventeenth:
Do not put frantic emotionality into words, as the man will not like it at all. So is your constant "giggle" after every word. Irritation, in this case, acts on a man as if a mate would act on you through every word (if you are against obscene curses).
- Eighteenth:
Don't be offended by the brevity of the answers. Laconism in them is adored by many men. Especially those who consider themselves to be uncommunicative. Generally speaking, men believe that a simple “no” or just “yes” will be more than enough. No man thinks about how much women love detailed information.
- Nineteenth:
If you are late for a meeting with a man, do not waste a lot of energy and zeal on various excuses. A man knows perfectly well how any girl is going anywhere. It is not surprising to be late. If you want to surprise you - come on time (second per second) or come earlier!
- Twentieth:
Don't command a man. The psychology of communication with men is such that if you want to manipulate him, do it in a cunning form, hidden, unobtrusively. Men do not like commanding tone. Not that they don't like…. Do not perceive! But they also manage to be offended. And you should not offend a man: they will remember if something gives a reason for this.
- Twenty first:
Call a man by name more often (you can use the diminutive form of the name). A man will respect you, understand that he is not an empty place for you. "Nameless" communication repels, alienates and alarms all men.
Let's hope that you managed to learn something interesting and new, which you will learn for a reason.
Happy assimilation process!
Maintaining an interest in the relationship between a man and a woman is more difficult than winning a person's attention. And here, as in any dynamic process, the constant personal growth of the fair sex, the continuous development of her individual positive qualities and the ability to build a dialogue with a loved one play an important role.
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The psychological feature of all men without exception is the desire to hear their echo and see their shadow. This does not mean that a woman should turn into one and the other unconditionally, but the fact that it is possible to win the attention of a loved one only from time to time by copying his steps and speaking in his words is an absolute truth.
What is male interest based on?
Male interest in a person of the opposite sex is not always dictated by the desire for a serious relationship. After all, the first assessment given by a man to a woman who attracts him is still a tribute to visualization (how a lady looks, how desirable and attractive she is). In second place in importance is the manner of communication, represented by two complementary processes:
- Verbal transmission. This is what a woman says when communicating with a man in person or writes by typing text via SMS.
- Non-verbal transmission. This is "body language", which naive men perceive as a completely unconscious factor and which a woman can easily turn in her favor, having at least a minimum of information about the psychology of communication.
In 9 cases out of 10, the man initiates an acquaintance and offers the woman further communication, obeying her invitation signals. And, conversely, only 5 people out of a hundred are ready to invite a girl who is opposed to this individual with hidden hostility on a date. All this speaks of the great power of implicit, non-verbal communication that is visible from outside the framework of moral conventions.
It is important for any man to know that he will not be denied when trying to get closer, so he will always wait from the girl for a sign that could be interpreted unambiguously. He will wait for such signs in the future. If a woman understands this from the very beginning and does not reproach her partner for being "ragged", but skillfully leads him in the right direction, the relationship can be considered strong and well-established.
But often even a stormy romance ends in nothing. The collapse occurs at a turning point in the transition of relations to a new stage, when both partners overestimate the mutual influence on each other and their own importance in the eyes of the companion. The world of sensations ceases to bring novelty to the relationship, the accumulated experience gives way to the first conclusions. And during this period, it is very important for a woman to learn how to build a dialogue, first of all - a non-verbal dialogue, in which a man will want to participate.
The combat arsenal provided by default to every woman and which can turn any situation in her favor is:
- voice control (timbre);
- meekness and tenderness;
- patience and care;
- unquenchable passion for a partner;
- self-sufficiency.
As you can see from the above, only the last point contains the qualities that a woman will have to really develop in herself. The rest of the qualities are easy to learn and introduce into everyday life as good habits, even if sometimes you have to pretend (and sometimes you have to).
Psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman man's secrets
Voice control is half the battle
If we can call our words and phrases addressed to a man the front side of communication, then the timbre of the voice, its color in warm or cold tones is the wrong side, which, as everyone knows, should be soft, comfortable and not prickly. There is information about an old study conducted in Soviet times. The men tested assessed their inner feelings by listening to the voices of different women coming to them from the telephone receiver. During the several minutes allotted for the experiment, they managed to listen to several phrases from 5-7 women unfamiliar to them. Here are the conclusions:
- After 8 seconds of communication, 95% of the subjects were ready to openly admit their sympathy for the owners of a deep, "velvety" voice. Such a timbre inspired them with calmness, self-confidence and drew in their imagination a beautiful, slender lady with a solid nature.
- Almost all men admitted that the female voice, slightly hoarse and aspirated, aroused erotic fantasies in them. This affected not only the subconscious level, but also the physiological one.
- Girls with a sharp, piercing voice were considered pleasant only by individuals who unconsciously strive for the role of a child in a family. These are the men who welcome the leadership of women in all aspects of life and are quite content with the humble position of "the husband of his wife."
- High, childish voices, on the contrary, attracted those who are not ready to put up with the equality of women and seek, rather, to "adopt" a life partner, providing her with care and attention, and in return demanding unconditional obedience.
Of course, there is an amateur for every feature. But if it is a question of tying a man to yourself for a long time and remaining invariably attractive to him, it is better to influence his predictable sides, which invariably respond with the “correct” reaction.
Compliments to a man
The psychology of conversational communication for maintaining relationships
Not only does a woman's appearance transform after entering into a serious relationship, her manner of speaking also changes, and almost always not for the better. But such a mistake is worth many of the broken family or pre-family ties. Psychologists warn: if, before the start of "close" communication with a man, a girl is still allowed to experiment with a shocking manner of communication, while the guy is so in love that he is "blind and deaf", then a new period of "adulthood" for both should be associated exclusively with pleasant emotions.
And in the first year of family life, and in the second ten, the man's perception of the intonation of his partner's voice will not dull. He will not like shrill screams if he initially reached out to the girl because of her quiet voice and reticence. It is impossible to accustom to this, but to force a man to cross the point of no return, when the sound of the voice of his once beloved wife becomes hateful to him, is quite real. To prevent the extinction of strong feelings, to control the love of a man, strengthening it according to the momentary desire in the forces of any woman.
Several useful tips can help in the development of such an ability, which are applicable at any stage of the relationship: at the beginning of a pleasant acquaintance or after many years of marriage:
- A girl's voice should never sink to lifelessness, which will be perceived as indifference.
- Gestures and facial expressions should match the words. If a girl talks to a guy about pleasant moments, the non-verbal language should not show tantrums.
- If a man shows uncertainty about some issues, the woman's voice should sound stronger, more emotional. This speaks of harmony, mutual support.
- A man needs to listen to no matter what he says, and all the time to stimulate him with manifestations of the most sincere interest.
- You should never criticize your interlocutor-husband, otherwise he will look for another grateful and understanding listener.
- Staying alone with your partner, you need to at least sometimes talk like a catwoman - categorically, passionately, letting him read sexual desire in his voice. Such a "zest" slipping in communication with a man binds him stronger than the bonds of long-term marriage.
An important point: the girl should be able to conclude all the important information that needs to be conveyed in the first half minutes of her monologue - this is how much a man is able to keep attention on the words of the interlocutor. If a woman thinks that the conversation is not over, it is important to attract the attention of her partner in time with an unexpected compliment. Men can listen to praise for their person for hours without losing interest, so this technique - giving alternately pills and gingerbread - is very important to learn and not hesitate to use.
If a man tells my girl what does it mean
Returning the interest of a loved one
Even the most passionate love relationships one day comes to rebuild themselves into one of the forms of satiety. At best, such a rebirth leads to the founding of even stronger, intimate ties on a subconscious level. People become, as it were, a single whole. But in most situations, the couple is held back only by fear of the loss of comfortable living conditions and sluggishly moves from one stage of the relationship to another, without knowing the target state of marriage - true love.
A woman, as a more flexible and sensual creature, should be the first to feel the cooling of relations and make her husband stop taking her intimacy for granted. But this will take an effort, because the force of habit embraces both equally, and one awareness of the problem is too small a step to achieve results.
Here is a set of simple "family laws", the observance of the points of which will not cause much trouble, but will help to return to the relationship the former passion and interest in each other. It is very important to fulfill each point of the simple rules at least once every day, and very quickly communication with your beloved man will rise to a new wave of mutual interest:
- Regardless of who is escorting whom to work, every morning the spouses should meet together and exchange plans for the day.
- It is necessary again, carefully, but persistently, to force the man to speak out, just like in the early years of the relationship, when he was in a hurry to tell all the events of the past day.
- During a conversation - no matter what - you need to praise your loved one at least once, say how right he is. This will raise his self-esteem.
- Every day, you need to stimulate your partner with humble requests to perform some "masculine" act, as if emphasizing his strength and his own weakness, even if for this you have to pull the nails out of the wall with your own hands and drop the curtain rods on the floor.
- A woman needs to learn to be immodest and from time to time praise herself with “random” phrases: “for a beauty like me…”, “for me, with my appearance, everything is available…”.
It must be remembered that guys quickly lose the habit of seeing a listener in their companion if they are not encouraged, so a girl needs to constantly be interesting in communication and always have a story in stock to maintain a dialogue. The absence of your own interesting stories in the present is not a reason to turn into a silent idol. You can always remember something from the past or even invent something, skillfully warming up the interlocutor's fantasy with reticence or excessive frankness.
How to communicate with a man by correspondence?
The growing modern tendency to have novels on the Internet by correspondence has already managed to form a separate area of the psychology of communication, which has its own secrets. Such a relationship can last for years before going into the stage of a personal meeting or even without planning one.
Interestingly, the statistics already existing on this account asserts that people who nevertheless decide to live together after a long conversation on the Internet, in 75% of cases create very strong and enviable ties based on full understanding. This is due precisely to the long-term experience of maintaining interest in each other without a real sexual context.
The girls who found their other half on the Internet shared their personal experience on how to speak and respond correctly in correspondence with the interlocutor, so that he always has an interest in the invisible addressee:
- There is no need to rush to write a message, as soon as the guy appeared on the network. Let the guy write the first 5 times, and the girl for the 6th time. So a man is taught to take initiative in a relationship and at the same time show him indifference.
- You need to write in your own words, but without building monologues in the form of "letters to an unknown reader." Guys get tired of long arguments.
- You need to forget about short, monosyllabic answers and try to build phrases in such a way that the young man can develop the topic.
- Men hate the manifestations of depression, the echoes of heavy thoughts, so the girl will have to become light like a butterfly, and throw out all the negativity into the dark screen of a disconnected computer.
- Whatever happens, communicating with a man by correspondence, he cannot be blamed for anything. If there is a reason for this, reproaches can be replaced by "punishment" - citing fatigue, quit the correspondence earlier than usual and not appear on the network longer than always.
Most modern men are so inactive that they are ready to be satisfied with one fascinating correspondence, without bringing the communication to a logical continuation. Therefore, if the girl thinks that the limit of her patience has been exhausted, the interlocutor needs to be pushed to take decisive action. This can be done by arousing in him jealousy of invisible "rivals" or by hinting that hopelessness in various life situations tires and evokes unpleasant thoughts.
Receiving support from a friend, a man asserts himself and can no longer do without the one who raised him to this high level. And if a beloved girl also arouses his curiosity, constantly stirring up interest in a relationship, such a union can be considered ideal.
And a little about secrets ...
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Based on hundreds of studies, scientists have long proven that men and women are very little alike. They think differently, they look at the world from different angles. However, people in their daily communication do not take these facts into account at all, and after all, it is enough to learn correct and dignified communication with men in order to avoid many small and large troubles.
Psychology and gender relations is a complex and subtle science. But her granite is worth tasting to build a lasting and even relationship.
Two equal halves
Strong and long-term relationships arise only between equal partners. Of course, you can pretend to be a cute silly thing as much as you like, which men allegedly love so much, but it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve respect for yourself in such a role. And without respect, it is impossible to count on the fact that they will listen to you, take into account your opinion, take care of peace of mind.
Therefore, the first step is to work on yourself, you need to set yourself up correctly. In fact, the psychology is simple: yes, appearance, attractiveness, beauty are important for the stronger sex, but an intelligent self-sufficient person does not want to spend his whole life with an empty and uninteresting woman.
Keeping your nerves in check
Women are by nature very emotional. Men, on the other hand, are not particularly inclined to pour out their worries on others. Such is their psychology.
Upset or worried about something, a woman often screams, swears, breaks down at others. However, it is unlikely that she will be able to convey to the man in this way the idea that she needs help or just support, that he needs to somehow change his behavior, and so on.
The stronger sex is not able to draw anything constructive from a prolonged hysteria. For him, this is just a frightening irritant that arose out of nowhere and it is not clear what to do with it. Perhaps an urgent escape is the only thing that comes to his mind.
So, if there is a desire to achieve something from a man and keep peace in the family, you must behave correctly. No, this does not mean giving up your own feelings, but it is necessary to throw them out wisely. It is better for a man to explain everything sensibly - the return will not be long in coming.
A man also has thoughts and feelings.
Male psychology differs from female psychology in many other ways. Most of the fairer sex consider the stronger sex absolutely insensitive and hardly able to concentrate on important things. In fact, this is certainly not true. How to learn to communicate with men so that they open up and participate in dialogue? How to build a conversation correctly?First of all, it is necessary to communicate, to push the partner to think about his feelings and views. For example, it is unlikely that you will be able to recognize a man's thoughts by starting a conversation as follows: “I just thought that we could go to the dacha (shop, guests, on vacation)”. Why react to this somehow, if the woman has already thought it over, made a decision? The situation will develop in a completely different way if you say: "What do you think about ..."
Observation is the key to understanding
Any representative of the stronger sex is a complex creature, its psychology is a separate science. Unlike a woman, it's normal for a man to say one thing and do something completely different. At the same time, he will not notice the difference and will not understand what is wrong. How to understand a man and talk to him correctly in order to get what you need?Observation is key. Experiencing an emotional uplift, a man easily makes many promises, which he is in no hurry to fulfill later. This is not because it is harmful or unnecessary. Emotions just subsided, he began to think soberly, he no longer sees the need to rush, to do something immediately. No, he will do everything, but then.
How to do the right thing? Observing a man, you can understand how much he is inclined to make rash promises and how quickly and accurately to fulfill them. Considering all these nuances, it will be much easier to build a dialogue. First, it is best to transform the moment of making a promise at the moment of its implementation. If it doesn’t work, it’s worth recalling how nice it was to hear that a man is ready to do this and that, let him again feel the same emotional upsurge.
The subtleties of a good quarrel
The best quarrel is the one that never happened. This rule should be remembered whenever there is a desire to sort out a relationship with a man.
The point is that male psychology is the psychology of a warrior. Whatever it is, the desire to win is genetically inherent in it. Therefore, it is impossible to gain the upper hand in a quarrel with the stronger sex. Even if it is obvious that the woman is speaking correctly, nothing will force a man to agree with her. Why it happens?
It's simple. At the moment when the conflict begins, the woman ceases to be the weaker sex, turns into an enemy. And the enemy must be defeated at any cost.
How to be? Do not bring the matter to confrontation. No aggression, just a peaceful discussion. Any question can be resolved without raised tones.
Conqueror and conqueror
Yes, a man wants to win, in everything in life he strives to be the first. This is a very important character trait that must not be forgotten if there is a desire to speak to him reasonably and correctly.First of all, a man does not need a woman to solve his problems for him. Or did what he had to do himself. The only thing he needs is faith in his strength and support. The words "I know that you will succeed" is such a powerful magic that the stronger sex literally becomes able to soar over any difficulties.
Common mistakes that should be dealt with immediately
- The habit of thinking out loud... Women are able to keep in mind a huge number of cases, which they can talk about at the same time, jumping from one to another. Surprisingly, it helps them organize their thoughts. For a man, this is a terrible psychological attack. In order not to bring them to the state of a nervous tic, it is enough just to immediately warn that there is absolutely no need to follow the mental chain, it is enough just to listen.
- The habit of interrupting... It is unlikely that anyone will like it, but men are especially susceptible to such impudence. The point is that they cannot immediately listen and speak. They need to complete their thought so that they can then calmly listen to the interlocutor. By the way, the skill to behave correctly in a conversation is useful in any society.
- The habit of hinting... The life of a man should be subject to logic. He does not see logic in hints. As often, she does not observe the goal that the woman pursues with her visits from afar. This either annoys him, or he simply does not pay attention to what is happening. In general, one should speak clearly and clearly. Even an elementary feminine "you couldn't" is perceived by a man as a kind of challenge. Of course he can! But whether he will do it is a big question, because in fact he was not asked about it. In addition, in any hints, a man may see an attempt to manipulate him - and this is already impermissible! So you have to manipulate wisely.
- The habit of resentful silence... It seems to a woman that if a man offended her, and she is silent, does not talk to him, then he gradually begins to feel the full depth of his guilt. In fact, everything is completely different. A man enjoys peace and quiet, no one touches him, and after half an hour he has completely forgotten that there was some kind of conflict. There is only one advice - a woman should express her complaints immediately, because only then it makes sense.