Family or career - which is more important. Career or family, which is more important

14.08.2019

Due to the economic situation in the country, in modern families there is often a situation where both spouses work. Psychologists believe that this is an important factor in family life. Women, who used to do household chores all their free time, began to work quite a lot, practically giving up their former duties. In many couples, the question arises of who and how will deal with household chores, how they will share household chores.

Often, couples who are committed to work are most likely to face conflicts in the family. Both men and women get tired of working everyday life, monotonous work. Arriving home, tired spouses can "break" on each other and, without noticing it, create a conflict. When both spouses are busy promoting their careers, it is quite difficult to get away from conflicts and quarrels. They often do not have enough time for family, household chores, or for themselves.

How can this threaten? The answer to this question lies on the surface. The marriage can fall apart. The spouses will be doomed to loneliness. They are deprived of family warmth and support of a loved one. And even the results achieved in the work may not bring the desired pleasure. How to avoid such a fate?

Couples with a similar problem need to try to protect their relationship. A marriage that is not nourished by feelings is doomed to the fact that work will push out thoughts of love and the other half. That is why you should recognize your mistakes in time. Before it's too late. You don't have to choose a career or family. You just need to learn how to combine them.

It is important for constantly working spouses to spend their free time together, organize joint trips to the cinema, cafes or museums. Joint dinners will warm up the family hearth. At least at home. Trips outside the city, to nature, will also have a beneficial effect on relationships. It is important to find at least 15 minutes to just chat with your loved one. Not on everyday topics, but on the feelings and experiences of each other. At such moments, you should carefully listen to your partner, try to give him advice. The main thing is not to forget about each other and not to put a career above family, because it is not so easy to find true love.

Household chores can also drag the couple down. Do not wait for family chores to escalate into conflict. Responsibilities just need to be negotiated in advance and divided between the spouses. Do not forget to leave the work that the couple can do together. Thus, combining the necessary housework with a pleasant time with a loved one.

What is more important - family or work? Everyone has the right to decide for himself. But those who value both the first and the second should be able to properly allocate their time so as not to end up with a "broken trough" later.

> What is more important than family or career

Family or career - which is more important? This question is an eternal female problem, because for men everything is much easier, if a man is successful in the business sphere, his opportunity for self-realization rises and the choice of life companions becomes wider.

For women, everything is much more complicated.

Career success does not guarantee them personal happiness.

Finding a life partner is difficult for many talented women leaders. As a result, children are left to themselves, as their mother spends all her time at work.

But here, too, many women face disappointments. The feeling of unfulfillment in the majority forms a large inferiority complex, because the social circle of housewives is limited to the family. Looking for self-realization, a woman surrounds her husband and children with very great care, which eventually develops into mega-control, which destroys many marriages.

Which, then, give preference to: a career or a family? Or maybe try to combine them?

When solving this difficult dilemma, thoughts come to mind: you need to do everything sequentially. First a career, and then a family, or vice versa. It would seem that everything is simple and logical, but there are also many pitfalls here.

Let's try to figure it out and put career first, and then family and children.

Young girls, full of enthusiasm and energy, ready for unexpected actions that often lead to success, never stop thinking that something might not work out for them. They are responsible only for themselves, are not burdened with children and family, they can devote all their time to work and not worry that later they will have to explain to someone why you stayed at work. They do not have to rebuild themselves after childbirth, because while you are giving birth and nursing your baby, your knowledge becomes outdated, your ability to learn is significantly reduced, interesting ideas are invented and implemented by someone else.

It seems that the advantages of putting a career first are quite significant, but here there are many disadvantages.

Deeper into work, many women dull their desire to become a mother. It seems like you want children, but you can't make up your mind on this act. Once you realize that you are happy with your life and you don’t want to change anything, and so everything suits you. But what about the maternal instinct?

In many Western countries, women give birth after thirty, as this is considered fashionable. The older a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to become pregnant, according to modern doctors - late childbirth is a very high risk for both the woman and the child.

Is family more important?

Let's try to formulate the question differently, and put family first, and then career.

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This option is not so common, but it also has many positive aspects.

First, there is no complex that you do not have a family.

Indeed, on a subconscious level, every woman dreams of getting married and having a child, and if she is deprived of this, then, over the years, she develops a complex that interferes with the further creation of normal relations with people. You calmly give birth, do not worry that there is very little time left and it is time for you to get out of maternity leave, and you give your baby a lot of maternal care and affection that he needs so much.

If a woman has a successful marriage, then their husbands are very supportive in their endeavors, and sometimes, they can even provide initial capital for these endeavors. But even here not everything is so smooth!

One, probably, of the main questions - when can you take up a career?

When will the child go to kindergarten or grow up to school? And maybe when will he go to university? Indeed, at each of these stages of life, it will seem to you that your child is still small and needs maternal support.

As they say in the poems of Eduard Asadov "... children are always children for a mother, even if they are at least twenty, at least thirty years old ...". If you start from such reasoning, then career time may not come. Time does not stand still, and while you are giving birth, raising the baby to its feet, your enthusiasm, knowledge and skill are lost, and many new promising competitors appear on the labor market, and in a few years you may find yourself far out of the business sphere. Also, not every husband wants to support the initiative of his wife to make a career, and it is very difficult to choose between what you love and someone you love, as it is a family or a career that can solve the dilemma.

Combine family and career?

How to combine family and career? There are many examples in which women successfully self-actualize both as business women and as wives and mothers. How did they do it, and what helped them achieve such results? Firstly, it is the ability to balance between family and career, belief in oneself and in one's own strengths.

If you want your life to be eventful, then you should never choose between a career and a family, but rather try to learn how to combine these two sides of your life!

Traditionally, a woman was considered the keeper of the family hearth. The roles in the family were distributed in such a way that the wife was in charge of the household, took care of the children, and the male shoulders were responsible for the material well-being. But times have changed and today such a model of family relations is no longer customary and unconditional. More and more women are faced with the problem of choosing between family and career. To make the right choice, it is worth realizing the pros and cons of each option.

Career

Many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity choose successful career advancement or organization and management of their own business as a life priority. A woman who works is not only financially independent and confident in the future. She feels successful and in demand, feels moral satisfaction doing what she loves.

Some begin to successfully build a career before marriage and completely immerse themselves in their chosen professional field. However, in this case, there is practically no time and energy left for personal life. And if, after getting married, there is no time left to deal with the house, communicate with her husband and children.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Choosing a Career

The main benefits of a career are the following incentives:

self-realization;
increasing self-confidence and self-confidence;
Financial independence.

Every person dreams of self-realization. Modern girls more and more often do not know how to put things in order and comfort in the house or do not know how to cook at all, but at the same time they thoroughly understand the principles of business and organization of work in a large team. It is difficult for them to be proud of a clean apartment, washed linen or a delicious lunch, but they are realized professionally and career wise. Also, many are attracted by financial freedom, when you do not need to depend on your husband for your needs and desires, you do not need to coordinate your own expenses.

However, dedication at work often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts in the family. A woman has practically no free time, she experiences constant stress and overwork due to high responsibility and a busy schedule, often loses old friends and family ties.

Family happiness

The opposite situation is for a woman housewife. She completely devotes herself to furnishing her home, supporting the family hearth. At home, a man is greeted by cleanliness and order, a delicious lunch. Children are always supervised. Everyone should be content and happy. But in fact, such a situation may cease to suit a woman. There is a feeling of unfulfillment, isolation from society and interesting things.

In search of self-expression, a woman can begin to surround household members with even more care, which often leads to conflicts and even destroys a completely happy marriage. It so happens that a woman works, but chooses not her favorite pastime, but is guided only by the proximity to home, a convenient schedule and a non-conflict team. Such work does not bring self-satisfaction, and of course there can be no question of any career.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Choosing a Family

The main advantages of choosing a home and family are as follows:

the opportunity to pay attention to your husband and raise children;
having time to take care of yourself, your appearance and health;
the opportunity to meet more often with family and friends.

A woman who has chosen a family feels confident enough while her husband is just starting to earn money and moving on in his career, while the children are still small and cannot do without guardianship. However, when the husband has already achieved certain success at work, and he does not need psychological support at home, when the children become adults and independent, a woman can lose her bearings and feel unhappy.

From an overabundance of free time comes boredom, domestic work no longer brings satisfaction, but turns into a duty to which the household has become accustomed and which has ceased to value. Being completely financially dependent on your husband can be a source of irritation and stress.

Finding a compromise

The best option for a woman is to try to combine career and family. You shouldn't completely neglect your career, but you shouldn't give up your personal happiness either.

Researchers and sociologists have noticed that women begin to achieve the greatest career success after maternity leave. During this period, the joys of motherhood were already known, but there are still opportunities to combine family and work and improve in the profession. Such women are distinguished by a balanced and thoughtful approach to business, do not get involved in dubious adventures and do not chase pipe dreams.

How to combine such global concepts as success at work and peace in the family? First of all, separate these two concepts for yourself. Be a leader and a motivated businessman at work, and remain a loving wife and mother at home. Leave all work troubles and problems outside the walls of your home, turn off your work phone and rest.

You should not be constantly torn between family and home. If you need to stay late at work, just warn your family about this and ask them to cope with household chores on their own today.

Be sure to plan a weekend and vacation together. Try to work out a convenient work schedule for yourself that will suit both your management and your family. Consider all your options.

Each situation is individual and you have the right to decide what to choose - a family or a career. But still, the presence of both components makes a woman truly successful and happy. Just choose a ratio for yourself that would suit you completely. Life does not stand still, so from time to time analyze your priorities and, if necessary, change them.

Modern women suffer from “multiple personality disorder”. One person is drawn to love and the creation of a family, while the other, like a tank, rushes for a career. And then comes the moment of choice: one of the "personalities" must be removed.

You are at the crossroads of two roads: you will go one by one, the second will be too late to turn off. Let's figure out together with you what is more important to you: family or career, prioritizing. And let's also think if there is a third road.

Ideas about one of the paths: career or family

In our society, we are accustomed to exaggerating, condemning or praising everything harshly. And this is how it roughly looks like:

The woman left her career, choosing a family

She will definitely be fucked:

Will stop developing. All her knowledge will focus on the quality of cleaning powders, floor cleaners and recipes.

Bears a bunch of children. She will communicate with exactly the same buggers like her, and all conversations will be reduced to diapers, baby food and the amount of benefits.

No entertainment. Only trips to shops and the playground. And if you're lucky that the children all fell asleep at once, you can also surf the Internet.

All day long, such a woman will cook, clean, fiddle with the children and wait for her husband to come home from work. And he will come, devour, relish supper and go to sleep. What is happiness, sister?

The woman did not start a family for the sake of a career

It will become stale and dry. Numbers instead of a heart, money instead of a soul. Nothing human.

People will hate her. Someone will envy her financial condition, and someone will enrage her character. Especially subordinates.

There will be nothing feminine about her. Men will avoid such a lady and be afraid. And a disliked woman without sex is always a bitch.

And so she will come to her empty apartment, drink tea alone at night and only in bed will relax and burst into a pillow. What is happiness, sister?

How to dispel these stereotypes

Everyone chooses for himself. In the choice between love and career, it is difficult to force an adult and a reasonable person to do something specific. A free woman also has her own choice, and she makes it in favor of personal preferences (if wisely):

gives birth as much as he wants;
has fun as she pleases;
chooses a profession to his liking;

This is precisely where her happiness lies. But when the whining begins: “I’m tired, the child’s noise has bothered, my husband doesn’t help in anything!”, Or this: “I’m tired, no personal life, work is hell, men don’t love me!” - then this is already shocking. I would like to ask:

And who forced you to break yourself from the beginning? Your choice was made at a conscious age. Children, of course, cannot be put anywhere, but it would be worth thinking about contraception. But it would not be worth breaking oneself under the yoke of a career, it is not clear for whose sake. Subordinate, but free is also nice to be.

Reasonable women, making choices, do not "print" their children like crazy, and do not blow their brains out at work. Measure in choice is what matters. Both the career woman and the housewife need at least some freedom, as well as time for entertainment and personal life. Namely because of the "fanatics" such stereotypes are formed.

What do you have an inclination for - family life or career

Let's conduct a kind of test with you, and you will "get to know" yourself, putting a tick on the statement close to you:

When your family is closer to you:

I grew up in affection, kindness and prosperity.
I have a younger brother (sister) whom I adore.
My father is the best in the world.
I have a docile, compassionate and calm character.
I was always touched by children, even strangers, I understand their feelings.
I am calm about noise, I can fall asleep with it.
I need comfort around me.
I am assiduous and love handicrafts.
I like to spend holidays at home.
I don't have a big company, but only a few girlfriends.
I need a man - his support and affection.
The main thing is wealth in the family, not easy money.
I am afraid of absolute silence and darkness alone.
I love to cook complex dishes, I always improve them.
I am a kinesthetic, I like to touch everything soft and tender.
I am not selfish and would rather give than take.

When a career is closer to you:

Childhood was difficult, but the family did not give up.
Father can hardly be called a good dad, or he did not exist at all.
I studied with pleasure, science was easy for me.
I get tired of other people's children, I endure them rather than be moved.
It's easy for me to just be friends with men.
I can resolve any issue with the higher authorities.
I like being an authoritarian businesswoman.
I have more formal suits than evening dresses in my wardrobe.
I prefer a sporty style over a romantic one.
I love cleanliness, but I hate doing it.
Sometimes I am enraged by men with their "cockroaches in their heads."
It is interesting for me to delve into everything new in my profession.
I can lead a large team.
I don't communicate very closely with my relatives.
Money can buy everything - even health and love.
I am enraged by the "laying hens" sitting with their brood within four walls.

Now calculate which test you have more checkmarks. If the number is equal, then you have a serious rush between love and career, and you cannot decide which path to take. But if some test "outweighed" and strewn with check marks, then no comment.

Don't listen to anyone - listen to your heart

Among the older generation, especially among the relatives of a young girl, there is often an active propaganda of abandoning a career in favor of a family. This is clear even from the toasts at the wedding: “More children! Be a wonderful hostess! " You can understand them - grandmothers want grandchildren, and the family in their understanding should be the same as in the old fashioned way: the wife smells like pies, and the husband smells like money.

But why then all these races were needed: study, child, rely only on yourself, get an education! Sat, crammed, unlearned, and what is it all for? To smell like pies? After all, if you now settle for a long time at the bottom of your apartment with pregnancy and childbirth, and not even alone, then all this science will disappear from your head! And there will be no experience!

Therefore, if you no longer need advice, think what will suit you:

If you are smart enough and educated, you have a favorite job, which you studied not for a tick, but for the soul, then gain experience and make money on it. Your path is a career. And at the same time, read how to become rich and successful.

If you didn’t have the opportunity to get a good education, and it’s not yours - to command, sit up and climb the career ladder - then don’t tear your veins. This should still be done by the head of the family. And your road is love and children. Here the article Should a man support his family will be more relevant to you.

But is it always necessary to be so principled in your life: "either - or"? Is it really impossible to find and choose the golden mean? Of course, you can and even need to!

How to find a middle ground between love or career

While you are still young, it is better to start at least some kind of relationship with men, and not just bite your teeth into textbooks. But everything must be done in a measured way, so as not to miss a single chance for happiness either in your personal life or in your career.

Choose a profession to your liking, and not by someone's advice, because you yourself know very well what you are capable of. And the article What kind of job suits a girl will help you figure it out.

Do not be afraid to make mistakes in your personal life and do not rush down the aisle. Live with your chosen one at least some time in a civil marriage to be sure that this is your person who understands you.

Even in marriage, do not rush to have children. Unlearned - gain experience. But if you have already become pregnant, try to improve your qualifications at least in absentia. Courses, master classes and self-education will help you.

Even one child in a family is already a full-fledged family when you raise him with your husband. And do not listen to these jokes: "There is a nanny - you need a lyalka too!" This is all nonsense - love for children is measured not in their number, but in how desirable they are.

Thanks to the golden mean, you don't have to be torn between two roads. Instead, you will walk between them, along the level path you have trodden. This is happiness, sister!

It is not so easy to answer this question, and it is unlikely that we will find an unambiguous answer. One girl, having barely finished school, jumps out to marry, while the other sets a goal for herself - to grow to a manager. So, what is more important than personal life or professional growth? Family or career?

A man is considered successful if he climbed high up the career ladder. And a woman continues to be considered successful if everything is smooth and harmonious in her personal and family life. It is believed why this success and career, others say, if there is neither a strong male shoulder, nor a small fragile creature - a baby. From the outside, such women are always pitied and condescending towards them.

From childhood, we are taught to cook, knit, wash, clean. They even say: "What kind of man wants to live with a girl who does not know how to run a household." And the boys are intimidated with the words: "If you study badly, you will go to work as a janitor."

It's scary to imagine how many stories have already accumulated about successful women, the so-called careerists. It seems like they have everything: an apartment, a job, money, but there is no beloved man, except for gigolos who use a woman's money and connections.

Family or career: pros and cons

Career pros

Self-realization. Probably each of us dreams of self-realization. Undoubtedly, there are individuals who highlight family happiness and home. But, today there are only a few of them. Women do not want to be different from men, they want to realize their full potential: someone writes poetry, someone is engaged in painting, performs on stage, writes scientific works. Many people prefer to work with people, go to advertising, journalism, medicine or pedagogy.

Imagine a situation when a woman is forced to sit at home day after day, cook dinners, clean up, collect her husband and children, naturally she will be burdened by her position - she is also a person and needs development, communication and recognition. If the husband's finances allow, then the problem is solved by the housekeeper and nanny. And a woman may well devote herself to an interesting and exciting business.

Although, again, there are women who do not want to change anything in their lives, and they are satisfied with work as a housewife and homemaker. But there are also those who cannot imagine life without their favorite work, without society, without intellectual realization of themselves.

Financial stability. But, by and large, most women are forced to work due to the usual lack of funds for food, housing and other vital needs.

If we talk about the majority, then it is professional activity that will allow a woman to feel like a full member of society, not to feel dependent on her husband and not to feel like a parasite.

Career cons

No time. A woman making a career is a woman who has plunged headlong into work. Sometimes she does not have enough time for ordinary cooking or cleaning the apartment. No time for children, no time for a husband, no time for communication.

Suffer relationship. What can a business woman offer to a man who needs affection, care and attention? For such a woman, the hearth is not a value in itself. In this case, there is no confidence that the interests of the man will someday become a priority. The situation can change if a man treats this with understanding and he will have enough of those rare joint exits that his beloved will reward. But, this is a huge rarity. For most men, something else is valuable - breakfast and dinner prepared personally, clean ironed shirts, a cozy home, etc.

Who are housewives?

Oddly enough, but there are many such women who are ready to plunge headlong into the routine of household chores and raising children. She may have a job, but it ranks second in importance.

In pursuit of a happy marriage, such women may even sacrifice careers and education. As a rule, such girls from early childhood know how to cook borscht, knit and embroider, and everything for the future husband. With such a woman, the husband will always be fed, watered, and the children are always clean and tidy.

At first glance, such a woman is a real treasure for a man. But her chances of happiness are equal to that of the "Business Lady". Men make complaints about the lack of attention to the latter, but a housewife can pall on her husband at any time. The man has the confidence that the woman will not run away from him, and he simply relaxes. Without noticing it, he turns into a capricious tyrant, convinced that his wife is only his woman, or he turns a woman on his side. And all because he gets bored with the "woman housewife".

And if it comes to divorce, then a woman remains at a broken trough: without money, and without a profession. It is good if the husband behaves like a man, does not evict him from the apartment and pay alimony regularly. Although, in most cases, sadly, the woman is left with nothing.

What is better family or career?

It turns out that neither career nor preparation for family life can guarantee us that we are doing the right thing.

What to do? Studying well at school, and then at the institute, or just learning to cook and clean?

We answer: a woman should always be ready for any twist of fate.

For example, you should not be afraid of changing your job if your current job interferes with starting a family. And be ready to start a career from scratch at any time, in case of difficulties with creating a family. Or perfectly combine family and career, working remotely, through the Internet

Learn to be a multifaceted charm woman so that your spouse does not lose interest in you. By the way, check yourself, where you are strong, and where you need to work on yourself.

And, most importantly, remember, whatever you do, the main thing is to be in harmony with life. And, if outwardly it seems that everything is going well, but you do not feel happy, start changing your life and as soon as possible!

To the question “What is more important than a career or a family? »Each person can give only one correct answer for him. It will hardly be possible to find an unequivocal solution, since this is due to the individual characteristics of the life of each of us.

For some people, an important goal in life is a wedding and a large friendly family, while for others, high earnings and managing a large number of personnel are a priority.

If we refer to this issue from the side of generally accepted traditions, then a man has always been considered a breadwinner, and a woman - a keeper of the hearth. Now the time has come for equality, when it is not uncommon for a family to have a higher income on the part of a woman.

Perhaps the worldview passed down from generation to generation makes the majority of modern women think in such a way that the very question of "choosing a career or a family" seems in principle silly.

At the DNA level, they consider themselves the keepers of family peace and believe that it is men who should deal with the money issue.

It is worth talking about less happy and calm ladies, and discuss this issue, which has become global for many. In order to find your answer, you should carefully consider all the pros and cons of going too deep in a career.

Career pros

Considering the benefits of a career separately, there are three main incentives:

Self-realization;
Improving self-esteem;
Financial freedom.

Self-realization is every person's dream. Each of us wants to feel like a person who does not depend on outside circumstances. Nowadays, women are considered to be a great rarity, bringing family well-being to the forefront.

Among today's youth, there are more and more girls who do not know how to make a home cozy and warm, but understand the intricacies of organizing work in a large team. Whether it has to do with parenting or the media is a completely different question. But most of us dream about self-realization.

And it is very difficult to improve your own self-esteem based on a clean apartment, washed linen and ironed sheets. Therefore, many people prefer to choose flirting on the side or realizing their potential in a career.

Creative personalities can express their individuality in music, paintings and other arts. But we also often meet people among us who want to constantly develop. And the best way to do this is to work.

Also, a situation often happens when a person lives alone for a long time. Then he got used to independence and perfectly understands how important it is to devote time to work and constantly learn new skills.

When such an individual has a family, it is very difficult for him to change his own principles and habits. It is against this background that disagreements often arise in families.

Another example is when a woman stays at home for a long time. She is engaged in cooking, cleaning and weighed down with the need to keep order in the house.

Nevertheless, subconsciously, she strives for constant development. And since a person is a social beast, he needs daily communication, which is abundantly provided at work.

Financial freedom is also an important priority in the life of each of us. Usually, it is for this reason that one has to wonder how to combine career and family.

Modern life requires constant expenses, but at the same time I really want to buy my own house, furnish it with the best furniture, annually have a rest in foreign resorts, and do what I really like.

Unfortunately, not many people can afford such an easy and beautiful life. Therefore, we all have to go to our not always favorite jobs and try to earn as much money as possible.

However, if you devote yourself too deeply to work and improving your financial condition, you can not only earn a nervous breakdown, but also worsen relations in the family. That is why the question of choice: family or career remains open to a woman or a man to this day.

Career cons

For a more adequate assessment, one should consider the disadvantages of full return to a career, and these are:

Lack of free time;
The problem is in the relationship.

A person who has plunged headlong into work cannot devote proper time to his own life, hobbies and relationships. And this is very problematic if you have a family. After all, spouses and their children need daily communication.

And when the head is busy with thoughts of how best to solve productivity issues at work all day, it is difficult for a person to shift his attention to household chores. Therefore, it is important to consider the question of the choice: family or career. What will be more important for a man or a woman in this case is up to him to decide.

You may simply not have enough time for cooking, cleaning the house, renovating, or other household chores. In the future, such an attitude towards the family hearth can completely destroy it.

The same goes for the relationship between a man and a woman. After work, I really want to relax in front of the TV or during a pleasant conversation with the family.

But if one of the family members is absorbed in thoughts about work to such an extent that he cannot pay due attention to the rest of the household, then disagreements and quarrels will surely arise.

In fact, it is difficult for each of us to decide which is better career or family? You should understand perfectly well that it is best to try to maneuver between these areas of life.

Career is important in that it brings prosperity to the house and allows you to improve self-esteem, to understand your own importance. But if she breaks the harmony in the family, this will lead to the fact that you will be left alone, and there will be no one to prove your own importance.

The family is the area of life where we feel the most calm and confident. Nevertheless, as modern life requires, you need to periodically bring money to the family. Otherwise, life will not be enjoyable.

In the life of every woman there comes a moment when she is faced with a choice - a career or a family. Of course, there are women who know how to combine both, but it is very difficult to determine how well they do it, and, achieving career success, whether problems arise at the same time at home. Therefore, before making a choice, it is very important to weigh the pros and cons, and try to find a compromise. This will help you honestly answer the question of what you are willing to sacrifice, family or career.

What's more important, career or family

Now more and more women want to realize themselves in the professional field, to make a career. If earlier this trend was traced among women who have reached the age of 40, now very young girls who graduated from institutes or technical schools are striving for this. But sometimes, having reached career heights or disillusioned with work, they are left alone, sometimes destroying a family, but more often without creating it. To make the right choice and avoid loneliness, you should set all priorities for yourself from the very beginning of your career race. Indeed, often a woman who stubbornly strives to make a career simply could not establish her personal life at some particular moment, directing her energy in a different direction.

According to polls, it is by the age of 40 that most women begin to regret choosing a career. If, after getting married, a girl does not want to give up a career, it is necessary that her husband support her choice, otherwise she will have to give up either her family or her career. It is better to give up a career after all, because the concept of careerism is unusual for no woman, this applies more to men. In the nature of a woman, the role of not a director and manager is laid, but the role of the keeper of the hearth, never a real woman will fight for a place in the sun with tough men.

Choosing a career with a family, a woman cannot fully give her children her love, attention, affection and care. Children do not receive the warmth they need, which directly affects their development and very often in a negative way. In addition, a career is not always a carefully considered choice, but simply helps any person, not just a woman, to feel their own worth.

In pursuit of career heights, one should not forget that it is not only success in the professional field that is important in this world. Work plays an important role in our life, it helps to self-actualize, to show all our abilities, to develop the best qualities and skills. But every woman is destined by nature itself to become still a happy wife, a loving mother and a caring daughter. Only the inability to make the right choice and allocate time prevents you from achieving this in full.

The main advice of psychologists is that a woman should learn to feel herself, understand what she wants at the moment, so that later she will not regret her choice. Separately, I would like to mention that if you have made a career, but are still alone, you should not despair. Until a worthy man appears in your life, it is better to start building a career, and as soon as this meeting takes place, direct all your energy to your family.

How to combine career and family

Sometimes not just a desire to make a career makes a woman work, but also a banal lack of funds for a full-fledged existence, not all husbands can provide for a family. In such a situation, there is no longer a problem of choice, if a woman values her husband, she can only learn how to combine work and family.

Sharing responsibilities between husband and wife will help reduce the burden on a woman and enable her to successfully climb the career ladder, if she strives for it. Therefore, talk about which of you and for what will be responsible.
Try to distribute responsibilities at work in such a way that household chores, and most importantly, your loved ones, do not suffer because of it. With the use of numerous methods of how to rationally distribute working time and responsibilities, this is quite possible. Organize your workspace both at work and at home so as to save time on performing various operations.
Do not take work home and do not discuss work issues all evening, devote your free time and weekends only to your family. Learn to separate work and home.
To avoid problems if you earn more than your husband and he is dissatisfied, try to create conditions for professional growth and an atmosphere for your husband that will make him feel that he remains a full-fledged owner in the house, despite your success. It is even better if you let him know that only thanks to his support, help, good advice and faith in you, you have reached such career heights. Remind often that all your success at work is a shared achievement, but don't overreact.
Remember, workaholism and the desire for a career are incompatible.
Don't sacrifice time spent with your children. Gifts, sports activities, and the best babysitters are no substitute for moms for kids, so sacrifice your career for the kids. Spend all your free time with your children, arrange a joint vacation, play, be interested in school affairs and hobbies.
Be sure to remember that your husband also needs your attention and care. If you have to work overtime, let your spouse know and remember to make up for it next weekend with a romantic morning that turns into lunch and dinner. Try to avoid weekend work and overtime. Build your career not by increasing your working hours, but thanks to your professionalism and deep knowledge.

Career and family for a woman

If you think about it and honestly answer the question to yourself, it turns out that many of the women strive to make a career in order to meet a worthy man and at the same time achieve a certain material stability and level in society. There are no other clearly expressed reasons forcing you to persistently overcome step by step of the career ladder. Having achieved what they want, usually women no longer strive to advance even higher, this remains even today the prerogative of men. Women who have received the desired position and having reached a clearly defined level of income begin to think about starting a family, that it is time to direct all efforts towards finding a worthy man, having and raising children.

Therefore, if there is energy and ambition in the character, it is best for a woman to realize herself first as a business person and only after that start creating a family. Unrealized professional potential can become an obstacle for a happy family, as it becomes a source of quarrels, scandals and mutual claims. To avoid this, if a woman feels the need and desire to work, let her work and not be tormented by what to choose, a career or a family. After all, it is quite possible to combine a career and a family, simply by organizing your working day correctly and distributing responsibilities.

A self-realized woman is much calmer and happier than one who sacrificed her dreams for the sake of her family. Unfortunately, it is worth remembering that now men are no longer held back by society, the church, or children, and a woman who knows how to support herself will not find herself in a difficult financial situation if a man decides to leave her. In addition, everyone has the right to choose and freedom in making decisions, so make a career if you want to, but remember that after becoming an honorary former director of a retired plant, you will want to have family and friends nearby, so do not forget about family, a career will not give a glass of water.

You should not look at those women who have completely devoted themselves to the family. If you look closely, many of them simply do not want to work and are comfortable in their own world. They easily made their choice, because they do not have any overestimated goals and desires. They want to remain, first of all, a wife, mother, daughter and woman, and not a managerial employee, but their risk of being in a difficult situation increases if the family breaks up.

The best option is only one, if you have ambitions and abilities, realize them until you have a family, as soon as you get married, find time and strength for the family, and then you can successfully combine both career and family without making a choice between them.

Choosing between family or career, this is not an easy question for any person, but there are certain rules that will help you do the right choice: family or career... Social research has shown that many successful people do not strive to start a family. About 65% of female careerists do not imagine themselves as mothers or housewives.

The right choice: a successful career or family life

As a rule, this issue does not cause problems for males. Men prefer career and self-development. Career allows them to assert themselves and self-actualize. It is more difficult for a career woman to make the right choice in terms of family or career; career growth is not able to ensure harmony in her personal life. There are many women careerists who cannot find a worthy chosen one for themselves, and by this doom themselves to loneliness. Many women are confident, harmony is possible only with consistency. First, a modern woman achieves success in work, and then deals with the issue of starting a family. This is the right choice, although there are many nuances here.

Let's take a look at the benefits of starting a career and then a family:

1. Vital energy and enthusiasm, this is the motto of the younger generation, these two factors are just needed to create a career. A modern woman who is not burdened by her family is able to devote herself entirely to work.
2. “I am responsible only for myself, because I have no family!”, Says a modern woman. She is able to go on a long business trip, and not that she will not be burdened.
3. A woman without a family is able to work seven days a week and overtime.
4. Parental leave stops career growth, which is not acceptable in the eyes of a successful business woman.
5. In the development of your business, you can invest all the money, because there is no one to reckon with except yourself.

In question family or career the listed arguments are quite weighty to make a choice in favor of work. But this is not ideal for those who want to become not only a successful person, but also happy. Whether starting a family and then a career is the right choice, consider the benefits:

1. There are no complexes, since she has children and a family. Every woman, even on a subconscious level, wants to start a family.
2. A woman is fully committed to the development of her baby. She does not need to leave the decree again to work.

If you have a wealthy chosen one, he will help you financially and morally in an effort to develop. But there are controversial points here:

1. It is difficult to determine the moment, you can already pursue a career or not.
2. Not every spouse will support a wife's pursuit of a career.

When it comes to family or career, you can try to combine these two factors. But you need to adhere to some principles:

Plan your time correctly;
distinguish between secondary and primary;
maintain excellent physical shape;
delegate some authority.

If you have these qualities, you can become happy and successful, and it won't be so difficult to decide which is more important than a career or a family. Everyone sets their own priorities in life for themselves, and in the matter of the right choice: family or career, everyone must independently identify what is more important and what can wait.

The word "career" is translated as "running, way of life" (from Lat. Carrus - cart, carriage). In the theory of personnel management, a career is the result of a person's conscious position and behavior in the field of work, associated with job or professional growth. However, this term means not only moving up the career ladder, but also life success in general.

A career in a modern format does not mean automatically advancing changes in seniority rank or jogging along steps that are clearly visible from the very beginning. This is a kind of search for oneself, a search for one's own path. What path should a modern woman choose for herself?

✒ Historical background

The last German Kaiser and Prussian King Wilhelm II Hohenzollern exhaustively summarized the traditional European vision of the role of women in society in the famous "4K" formula: Kinder, Kuche, Kirche, Kleider, that is, children, kitchen, church, outfits.

Stereotypes of public thinking

From century to century, society and tradition have offered a woman, regardless of her social status, to solve two important tasks in her life: to get married and have children.

But it is not for nothing that futurologists call the XXI century the “century of women”. The roots of this definition, of course, lie in the past century, when women made a "quiet revolution", taking a worthy position, first in the field of wage labor, and then in the field of entrepreneurship. The woman has gone beyond her traditional role of mistress, mother, wife. She began to strive to realize her potential outside the home and very often becomes the mistress of her own business. Opportunities for the professional realization of women are constantly expanding, and sex discrimination is less and less talked about. Modern women can successfully fulfill men's duties and are not inferior to men in talent, energy, and professionalism.

Women brought intuition, "agility", sociability, caring for people, emotionality of communication, and a special attitude to personal connections into management methods and business culture. These features allow us to talk about the emerging female management style, the motto of which is: "Common sense, not victory at any cost."

However, the position of women in the labor market is still difficult. It is women who are most among the unemployed, and those who work, as a rule, are paid less than men in a similar position.

Our society imposes on a woman a certain secondary nature - she must necessarily consult with someone, look back at someone, make excuses, know her place, take into account the requests of her relatives, crush her “I” with her heel. There are many myths about women's business and professional failure, the incompatibility of femininity with career advancement. Let's consider the most typical ones.

The woman is not so smart... A man and a woman really differ from each other, for example, in the structure of their brains. Therefore, the information they receive is processed in different ways. In women, the relative weight of the corpus callosum - the bundle of fibers that connects the left and right hemispheres - is greater than in men, and this allows for a better exchange of information between the hemispheres. This phenomenon explains the extraordinary intuition of women, which is considered her unconscious mind, the so-called female logic.

Operations of an inductive plan are inherent in the female mind and intuition: from the particular to the general, from details and individual features to their holistic coverage. Intellectual operations of the male mind - from the general to the particular. Men’s thinking is more abstract and symbolic, while women’s thinking is concrete and figurative. Women have more developed emotional and verbal intelligence, perception abilities, and men have more visual-spatial intelligence and technical abilities. Women perform better tests on the speed of perception of sign information and images, better remember the localization of objects in space, their relative position, they have better developed fine motor skills and the speed of performing mathematical operations. Women perceive careers as personal growth, as self-realization and do not always attach importance to some quite essential things in their environment, such as the system of relationships and information channels in an organization that emerges at an informal level. Men, on the other hand, understand by career as prestigious and promising positions.

Business does not have a woman's face. This thesis is relevant only in the days of "wild capitalism". Comparison of the ethical attitudes of men and women businessmen allows us to make the following statement: in business, women are more dependent on others, and therefore their principles and business ethics as a whole are largely determined by moral prerequisites. The social responsibility of women in entrepreneurship is higher than that of men. According to psychological analysis, the greatest success in business is achieved by women who have "kaleidoscopic" thinking, a predisposition to leadership, the adequacy of self-esteem and a tendency to educational behavior.

Women are not ambitious enough... By motivating achievement and striving for leadership, women are not only not inferior, but even superior to men. Nevertheless, in order to obtain a position, a woman must demonstrate higher competence than a man in order to remove the influence of pre-belief against her. A woman's ambitions are rather overestimated, because she always gives preference to a man with a higher position in society, considering her youth, health and physical attractiveness to be the highest value.

A man should be in charge... Maybe it's just a habit of a strong hand or paternalism of the Russian business culture? Women have effective, but not repressive, abilities to influence, so they manage to lead without repressiveness. A woman does not adapt to a masculine style of management, but uses a humane and impressive management, trying to be attractive to other people, to achieve their sympathy and love. Such a management model today is more consistent with the changing operating conditions of firms and contributes to the transition to a new management culture. Its essence is a departure from managerial rationalism towards greater openness and flexibility in relation to the constantly changing requirements of the external environment.

In her career, she loses her femininity.... Making a career, a woman, according to public opinion, "loses her femininity." At the same time, she begins to experience a sense of guilt in front of loved ones for the lack of proper attention to them. As many psychologists note, this can make a woman sabotage her achievements and subconsciously destroy her career, do something destructive in relation to herself, or, for example, start to wonder about the meaning and necessity of her professional activity (do I need this?) Just then, when he really starts to make progress in his career. After all, we all often forget that all the most difficult obstacles are within us.

Meanwhile, the modern successful business woman, according to scientists, is distinguished by a bright individuality combined with femininity. Such a woman consciously and with dignity bears her high title, and this excludes coldness, rigidity and masculinity. With her presence, she decorates and ennobles any society, any business meeting. She is distinguished not only by a high level of general and intellectual activity, but also, unlike most men, by constant concern for her physical form and appearance.

Women don't want to pursue careers... Of course, women have some prejudice about themselves and their business opportunities. According to psychological research, women overestimate men's achievements and dignity and underestimate their own. They give men a higher status. If a man's success is often explained by his abilities and other stable reasons, then a woman's success is most often explained by unstable reasons: luck, chance, help and support from others. And competent women generally do not take advantage of the location of either women or men. However, due to competition, the situation is changing in favor of more realistic preferences of effective personnel, regardless of gender.

Career, of course, is feminine, but this is a man's business... The professional development of a woman is of a more complex and contradictory nature, in contrast to a man, for whom professional activity is not only the leading, but often the only sphere of self-realization. Making a professional career, a woman really becomes a little bit of a man. This creates a whole group of contradictions: between masculine and feminine principles, rationality and emotionality, autonomy and belonging to a woman. And such contradictory situations of development stimulate creativity, which, in turn, releases the reserves of the woman's spiritual and mental potential.

Women's achievements are inversely proportional to their beauty.... It is believed that women's achievements are inversely proportional to their beauty. That is, the less attractive a woman is and the less hope she has for success with men, the more zeal she gives to any kind of activity. Often a woman suppresses the desire for creative competition in order not to destroy her feminine charm and to remain attractive. If you make a career, you will lose your family, because men do not like smart women. Is it so? Does a successful woman feel inferior? Yes, but only if there is a man with conservative inclinations nearby or just a loser.

A business woman really experiences psychological loneliness due to her special selectivity in contacts, supported by a sense of her own worth and the presence of economic freedom. In the brides market, however, beauties from well-known companies and with good salaries are in special demand today. So smart and beautiful women do not have to be torn.

Family and career are incompatible... The massive spread of stereotypes leads to the fact that any claims to a career on the part of a woman are perceived as provoking and interfering with the performance of her function, which is considered to be the main one - the function of procreation and maintaining the hearth. Motherhood and family care are often portrayed as obstacles for women in competitive areas. And if, in the matter of choosing between a child and a career, preference is given to having a child, a woman risks becoming uncompetitive, losing the speed of professional development during the time given to motherhood. However, some women manage to write and defend a thesis during the decree, or at least learn a foreign language, thus preparing themselves a worthy foundation for confident career advancement.

In addition, a woman's reproductive function and the role of a mediator of emotional relations in the family can be fully combined with her active professional advancement, an administrative or political career with an appropriate attitude, an attitude towards “uniting the incompatible” - the development of internal potencies without prejudice to femininity. Such a versatile and multifaceted activity of a woman makes her more realized, effective and fully prosperous. Women can offer more effective and often less confrontational solutions to many issues and problems.

As the family is created and the children achieve independence, the woman's personal resources are freed up, and she can again devote herself to any business.

ACTUAL INFORMATION

On average, a male career (gradual professional and status growth in one area) begins at about 20 years old, at the age of 27–33 has its own sharp rise and then continues with an even increase. A woman's career can begin at the same time as a man's, but the most fruitful and vibrant period for a woman has been pushed back to 35-40 years. It is at this moment that rich internal potencies can move you on the path of professional self-realization.

In hoary antiquity, a woman had a simple and understandable goal - a family, a husband and a child. Today, the second half of humanity is not inclined to limit their fate to the narrow biological role of reproducing offspring. After all, this is what distinguishes a person from the animal world, that in addition to instincts, he still has reason and self-consciousness. Now the woman is faced with the question of what is more important than a career or a family.

Naturally, when the survival of the clan was associated with the rigid fulfillment of gender roles, the customs and traditions of the tribe secured for the woman the role of the mother-guardian of the family hearth, and the man was left with the duty of providing food for the family.

European civilization has long ago got rid of the need to adhere to the rules developed by ancestors and ladies have discovered a huge field of activity for self-realization.

Wives and girlfriends rushed into the world that once belonged to men, who were surprised to find that those who were given a place in the kitchen were at their posts.

All at once: how to combine career and family

The modern average citizen of the planet Earth lives in the era of consumption. This applies not only to objects of the material world, but also to behavioral reactions. At the same time, the pace of life has also increased.

A child is hard work and a lot of wasted time until he reaches puberty. Why waste your best years living in the status of a mother and housewife when the world provides a lot of opportunities to have a great time and you can choose a career? But it’s not that simple.

A poll was conducted among working German women under the age of 30, and the results were astonishing to the researchers. It turns out that among 1000 surveyed women making a career, for 90% their own child is a priority! But at the same time, they want to maintain independence from their husbands in the family and not live on handouts from the state.

None of the girls want to solve a family or career dilemma. Western women get married after reaching a certain level of material wealth.

Career won't warm you at night, family is more important

Every year, Hollywood films about women who successfully combine personal life and work are released on TV screens. The main character is a woman who has enough time for everything: for children, for a husband, for managing a company and small delights of life. However, how does the fairy tale fit in with reality? In reality, it all depends on the career that the woman has chosen for herself.

For example, if your friend wants to join the board of directors of Gazprom without being close to the world of oil tycoons, then her whole life will be spent on achieving the goal without the right to family and children. Oksana came to Moscow from the provinces to make a dizzying career.

Looking wide-eyed at the life of the capital, the woman promised herself to achieve a place in the sun. After 18 years, the woman had grown from an ordinary clerk to a regional sales manager.

She has everything that young girls dream of: an apartment in the center, a luxurious car, clothes from the best world brands and an impeccable appearance, cherished in expensive spa salons. There is no one - those who would love her - her husband and children. No, there is a Pekingese medal dog named Lucy.

Oksana is the first at work in the morning and the last to leave. She doesn't have days off, and overtime has long been the norm. Personal life is limited to occasional sex without obligation. Career absorbed the young woman, becoming her raison d'être. Instead of a family, the woman decided to choose a career.

Popularity played a cruel joke with Marilyn Monroe. The woman wanted to become famous and achieved worldwide recognition. But did it bring her happiness? “A career is a wonderful thing. But will it warm you on a cold night? " - said the untimely deceased star of millions. Of course, there are people who put their whole lives on the altar of their careers. But there are not many of them. Although we admire them, we do not always want to go their way. It's much wiser to have a family and pursue a career.

Until the age of 30, Natalya was spinning like a squirrel in a wheel: she worked for a company and at the same time received a second higher education. When she turned 30, she started thinking about the future. She had good growth prospects ahead, but the child and family remained an unattainable dream.

The family is more important - the girl decided and asked to be demoted so that she, like other people, could leave work at 5 o'clock and have a day off. The leadership was amazed. They tried to prove to her that career is more important and promised to double her salary, but she refused.

Now Natalia has a wonderful husband and a charming child. Staying overtime? No, family is more important.

Working women get married and have a child without turning the world upside down. Sometimes it seems like a career is more important than personal happiness. Then weigh the pros and cons, so as not to end up with a broken trough.

The average family is when both parents are working. This is fine. They come home and leave their official duties behind the doorstep, because family is more important than career. Women get married, become mothers and beloved. They play their traditional family roles, and the child sees it. The secret is to keep career and home separate.

Coming to the family, forget about business, career, relax and rest. Take time to fully interact with your family. Let it be a joint tea party in the kitchen or watching TV when the whole family has gathered. If you are a businesswoman, take time to spend a weekend or vacation with your family. The child needs the attention of the mother, especially if she is rarely at home. Make a schedule and avoid overwork.

Fatigue can accumulate gradually, especially when a woman works every day and overtime. As a result, a nervous breakdown occurs and the family suffers from this, first of all. Despite the abundance of work problems, show feelings with your family: kiss, hug, listen to what the child tells you.

Choice: career or family?

In principle, the question of choosing a career or family does not exist at all. A person should live a fulfilled life without distortions. A modern woman is neither a housewife downtrodden by everyday life, nor a workhorse of the global economic space.

She is a harmoniously developed personality who has realized herself at home and at work. She does not forget about her personal time and does not think that her career is more important than family. A real woman has everything: a career, family happiness and a child.