Close and friendly relations between people. Friendly attitude: formation and development

Topic: "Types of Friendship"
Purpose: to show students that the concept of "friendship" and the relationship between
people retained their significance, did not lose the depth of feeling and
perception in the modern world
Tasks:
expanding understanding of the importance of building good people
relationships in a team based on mutual understanding;
fostering the desire for mutual understanding in relationships with
people;
preparing students for the next topic;
to promote the development of students' interest in the lessons "Self-knowledge";
contribute to the development of thinking, attention and memory of students.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
1.
During the classes:
2. Checking homework:
3. Explanation of the new topic:

Before starting the conversation, I will ask each of you to finish writing the unfinished
offer:
1.
2.
A friend is one who ...
Buddy and friend are not exactly the same thing, because ...
Wise sayings about friendship.
How do you understand them?
Misunderstanding turns friends into enemies.
The best way to keep your friends is not to betray them.
L. Feuchtwanger
W. Misner
A true friend is with you when you're wrong. When you're right, everyone will be with
you.

M. Twain
A cowardly friend is more terrible than an enemy, for you fear the enemy, but you hope for a friend.
L. Tolstoy
Sitting at your table, you do not rush to call friends.
They are tested not with wine, but with grief, help, for years ...
Teacher's explanation of the topic: Friendship is a form of interpersonal
relationship based on community of interests and mutual
affection.
Even ancient philosophers tried to understand this extraordinary and
amazingly wonderful human ability. A friend may not be
each. For friendship, firstly, spiritual unity is necessary,
dedication and loyalty. A friend can be entrusted with secrets and talk about everything,
knowing that he will be able to help in difficult times and will not judge for mistakes.
Aristotle expressed the idea of ​​three types of friendship. She may be
based on mutual benefit, pleasure, or virtue (i.e.
ability for good deeds, a sense of justice and understanding). That's why
a person does not have many real friends, tk. not everyone is capable of being sincere,
kind attitude towards another.
How do you understand the proverb: “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell who
you"?
Please note: it is not asked about the parents, not about the beloved /
yuyu. About a friend. They converge not on sensual attraction, not on
obligations established by family ties, but on a voluntary basis
contractual basis - complete freedom, no laws, courts and controls.
"The basis of friendship lies in the complete agreement of will, tastes and opinions",
Cicero.
There are different types of friendship:
1. School friendship

sincerity, honesty, loyalty, dedication, tolerance, i.e. on
the most important properties for a good person and a family man.
2. Friendship based not on common nature, but on
their opposites
3. The so-called front-line friendship. When you trust someone
recklessly and completely. They say about such friends: “You can go to
intelligence "," He can be trusted to cover his back. "
- it is very important for testing a young soul for

(people complement each other).

- these are guys and girls, association
4. Friendship service is a very common form among teenagers -
the basis is always the advantage of one (strength of character, physical
strength, ability, fashions, authority, etc.) and dissatisfied
the ability of the other. “A king without an entourage, as you know, is not a king. And not
it is clear: who needs whom more. "
5. Friendship rivalry
- this is the similarity of equivalent natures. They are drawn
to each other, especially if their hobbies are similar, but pride, thirst
leadership, disputes breed them into different disputes. They may not put up for a long time,
but also not to break off relations. By the way, having met after years, friends
rivals become true comrades, tk. there is no need to "divide"
something, everything is already divided by time and life.
6. Friendship and companionship

extracurricular interests. Outside of these activities - everyone is on his own, but here
come together (for example, on a sports or dog playground, stage and
etc.) and there are no comrades closer.
But there is also another type of company society that produces
their code and are strictly merciless to violators of these rules. To come in
such a company is not easy, but getting out is very difficult.
7. Friendshipconfession

connected - with only one need to have a heart-to-heart talk, with complete
the conviction that they will be understood, that their secrets will remain intact.
The confessors of adolescents, as a rule, turn out to be older people.
age, but not parents.
Why? Maybe the guys are stopped by the assumption that such
reasonable and correct parents, as they usually appear before them
Mom and Dad, nothing like this could happen in their lives. Suddenly they don't
understand, will not forgive mistakes.
Here is what the doctor of philosophical sciences I.S. Kon writes: “When polling a group
high school students, answering the question with whom they prefer to spend
free time, boys put their parents on the last (6), and girls on 4
a place". But to the question: “With whom would you begin to consult in a difficult life
situation? " both of them put mother in first place, in second place
the boys put the father, and the girls are the girlfriends.
8. Bisexual friendship

relationships and love that can die of silly ridicule. After all
evil tongues, worse than a pistol. Their shots often kill adults.
people, not like young adolescents. But we must remember that any feeling
verified by tests. And doubts arise: was it real
friendship, if she died from silly ridicule.
- these people do not have any deeds, hobbies
Is a transitional stage between friends

Answers to the questionnaire will help
7. Questionnaire "Did you know?":
students to understand if they know each other well enough and how
relationships are developing between boys and girls in the classroom.
Answer the questions of the “Did you know?” Questionnaire. If you do not know the answer to
question, then circle its number.
Questionnaire "Do you know?"
1. Where does your deskmate live?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Does he (she) have a brother, sister?
When is his / her birthday?
Does he / she have any animals at home?
What is his / her hobby?
What are his / her favorite school subjects (lessons)?
Who is he (she) friends with in the classroom, in the yard?
Compare which is more: answers with or without circles. What conclusion can be
do? Are you attentive enough to each other?
8. Conclusion of the lesson: modern young men and women do not speak with their
friends in a sublime style, do not shed tears at meetings and partings, as
described in old novels. But tears and hugs aren't the only symbols
sensitivity. Often adults listening to a telephone conversation between two
high school students, lose their temper from its meaninglessness and
insignificance: “Again you are chatting with your Vovka! What do you want to each other
nothing to say? Forty minutes of chatting - and not a single thought worthwhile, not
one complete phrase, one interjection! What an empty youth
let's go! "
But this conversation from the outside seems empty because its main
life content is not logical, but emotional. And not expressed
as much in words and sentences as in intonations, accents,
reservations, omissions that friends try to convey to
the subtlest nuances of moods that remain meaningless and
incomprehensible to an outsider listener. Young people today are not
lost the emotionality of feeling, sincerity and dedication in
friendship, all this is alive, anxious, vulnerable, but often carefully hidden behind
external bravado and skepticism.

Finish sentences:
9. Homework:

1. A friend is one who ...
2.With a friend, I often ...
3. Friend and friend are not exactly the same thing, because ...
4.With a friend you can ...
5. I am friends with ... because ...
Collect a proverb about friendship and explain it
10. From heart to heart:

meaning:
A bad friend is like a shadow: on a sunny day / you will not get loose, but on a rainy day you will not
you will find.
With whom you carry bread, / you are like that.
Not that friend's hand that only strokes, / but also the one that drags by the whirlwind.
It is bad without a friend who is lost / but also bad with a friend who
wrong.
With another to be found, / what to sit in nettles.
Not the friend who walks at the feast, but the one who helps in trouble.
If you don't have a friend, look for it, and if you find it, take care of it.
The tree is supported by the roots, / and the person is held by friends.
Filya was in power - all his friends poured down to him, / and trouble came - all
out of the yard.
An old friend is better than two new ones.
A horse is known in grief, and a friend in trouble.









The psychology of friendship - it seems that the topic is simple and complex at the same time, everyone has friends, but is it always possible to build good relations with them and maintain friendship for many years? In this article, we will consider the main points that underlie, the foundation of friendship, what unites friends and helps to stay together throughout life?

First, let's define friendship, what does it include?

friendship- close relationships, based on trust, affection, common interests, mutual respect and mutual assistance.

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Thus, the psychology of friendship presupposes sympathy and affection, affects the spiritual side of the human person. It is considered the most moral feeling - friendship is even a purer moral manifestation than love, since it is not so demanding. At the same time, a person discovers his best qualities in friendship - he learns to be attentive, caring, show support, help, always comes to the rescue in difficult situations.

As a rule, friendship presupposes a community of interests that unites people from the very beginning. Let's take a closer look at what types of friendship are, how they are formed, what are the differences and similarities.

Friendship psychology and its types

Friendship psychology pays great attention to the question of the reasons for the formation of friendship and the choice of friends. Initially, friendly relations arise in the process of common labor - hunting, farming, knightly wars. Obviously, the team is stronger than one person, the union into tribes, teams, helps to overcome the opponent, the beast, life's hardships. In the modern world, a person is free to choose friends on his own, often using psychological compatibility, internal needs.

Friendship from the point of view of psychology identifies the following role-based forms of manifestation of friendship based on psychological needs:

  1. "Comrade"- combine common interests, joint employment, common projects, activities.
  2. "Mirror"- helps to know oneself, says how you look, promotes understanding of one's own personality at a psychological level.
  3. "Compassionate"- an excellent assistant in difficult situations, supports morally, performs the function of a psychotherapist, heals mental wounds.
  4. "Companion"- interesting for communication, there is a lot in common for discussion, a high level of mutual understanding, the ability to open up, to be heard.
  5. "Alter ego"- an inner feeling of similarity at the psychological level, the desire to be like a friend.
  6. "Ideal"- a person acting as a role model, we strive to adopt certain qualities, learn a new attitude towards life or gain new knowledge.
  7. "Recharging"- helps to restore energy, mood, inspires new achievements, has a positive character, always cheers up and gives a great mood.

An ideal friend helps to solve several psychological issues, then his value increases, because we feel the need to be together under different circumstances - in happiness and grief, as in family life.

Friendship psychology determines the type of friendship based on the situation of acquaintance and the characteristics of people entering into friendly relations.

There are the following situational types of friendship:

  • friendship from school years(arises in school years, student, sometimes continues in the future if there is a desire and interests that unite people);
  • office friendship(formed as a result of constant contacts during working hours, the need to communicate with colleagues, usually temporary, although it can become strong and continue even after the termination of work in the same team);
  • business friendship(arises between business partners, common aspirations for goals - the creation of projects, constant meetings, discussion of prospects, mutual support and assistance, help to unite and become friends);
  • resort friendship(Acquaintances during holidays, trips, business trips lead to the appearance of new friends, such a relationship is usually temporary, although it can continue after parting and returning to normal life).

People can get to know each other for various reasons, but the main thing that unites is a commonality of values, interests, worldviews. There is a feeling - a kindred spirit, when it is easy to communicate with a person, understands well and inspires confidence. Not everyone is able to be true friends, someone remains in the rank of acquaintances. Therefore, true friends are of great value.

Depending on gender, the following types of friendship are distinguished.

Female friendship

The psychology of female friendship is built on constant communication, the desire to discuss current problems, which reduces the level of stress. Friends are always ready to sympathize and treat with understanding, not offering to change, to become better. If there is no desire to look for a solution, but just talk, then the best friend is a woman. From the point of view of psychology, female friendship is tested by success, not by troubles. When a friend is ready to share the joy and sincerely support in new aspirations, this is a real friend, not an envious person. Such friends should be appreciated and tried to stay in touch as long as possible.

Confidence- this is the main element of friendship, in women's friendship it is worth being sure - they will understand, not condemn, advise unwanted actions even from good intentions. The biggest enemy of female friendship is envy, rivalry. If a friend is not inclined to such manifestations, then you can be 100% confident in her. And the question: "Is there a female friendship?" - does not arise.

The psychology of friendship between girls is built on mutual understanding, respect, trust, however, a person can have secrets that belong only to him, and there is no desire to initiate others, this is normal, everyone chooses their own level of closeness of the relationship. We noticed that the presence of permanent male partners allows female friendships to be stronger, as well as between single women, but it is difficult to break out of such an environment. The psychology of friendship in women allows us to note the high need for communication, which gives an outlet to emotions, helps to understand life situations. Therefore, having a close friend has a positive effect on mental health, increases life satisfaction, and even contributes to a healthier and longer life, as shown by medical research. Friendship between women, psychology - allows you to understand the main features of relationships, friendship of the fair sex. As noted, women are quite emotional and sociable, and friendly relations are an element of psychiatry, helping to restore mental balance.

Male friendship

It is considered real and ideal, examples are described in the history and literature of The Three Musketeers. At the same time, friendly relations are built on mutual assistance, support, mutual protection, participation in resolving issues. Men are united by common interests, work, hobbies. Men show less emotions, therefore they do not open up so much in friendship, spiritual intimacy is less strong in comparison with women, but friendly relationships are quite strong and stable.

Usually, real friends are rare in life, over the years their number decreases, and the remaining ones are valued even more - they have been tested over the years, by their actions, they often helped out in difficult situations. Friends are essential in a person's life, and having a close friend is happiness. It is important to cherish and maintain relationships throughout life.

The psychology of men's friendship is based on certain principles, interests:
  1. Common affairs- friends love to spend time together, both at work and leisure.
  2. Convenience- friendly relations are mutually beneficial, provide mutual assistance in business, achieving success in various spheres of life.
  3. Mentoring- such a friend is usually older in age, while having the knowledge necessary for development. The psychology of friendship between men is built on the desire for cooperation, a true friend will always come to the rescue in a difficult situation. Male friendship is tested in trouble, obstacles can be the desire for rivalry, different views on life, the inability to combine friendship and family. Over the years, you can continue to have friendships with families or occasionally meet with your best friends on the weekends.

Children's friendship

The initial stage of the emergence of friendship, from 2 years old children show interest in their peers, and at 3-6 years old- the first friends appear, friendly relations are built on mutual games, treats, like children who are cheerful, do not like to complain, open to communication.

Friendship allows you to spend time together, visit, have fun, support, help, show protection. Friendship psychology states that these are relationship lessons that have an impact on the ability to build relationships in adolescence and adulthood. The task of adults is to learn to get to know each other, to find an environment for communication, to explain the rules of friendship - to share, be attentive, and help.

7-10 years old school attachments appear, based on mutual interests - joint learning in the same class, classes in circles, constant contact (a neighbor on a desk). Friendship is often perceived as cooperation - who is the best learner can help. At the same time, boys constantly have common affairs, ventures, girls - conversations, discussions. By the age of 10, an understanding of mutual assistance and mutual obligations is formed, friends acquire a special status.

11 to 14 years old- the period when there is a need for a close spiritual friend, mutual trust, the desire to have an authoritative friend. Collective opinion, fashion, current trends have a huge influence. Every teenager wants to be on a level with others, to strive for recognition among classmates.

15-18 years old- a new stage in the formation of personality, friendly relations become more personal, contributes to the restoration of mental strength, resembles psychotherapy - constant communication by phone, correspondence, meetings. New demands are placed on a friend - understanding, dedication, the ability to help, to listen. Friendship promotes self-affirmation, self-identification in the modern world and in the adult environment.

At the same time, it is necessary to realize that the ability to listen to others is necessary along with trust in friends. It is important to realize who is trustworthy and able to keep secrets or minimize information, which leads to superficial communication. Friendship of children, psychology makes it possible to realize that this is a stage of preparation for adulthood, the formation of self-esteem, contributes to the development of confidence, the importance of having friendly relations in childhood and adolescence should not be underestimated.

Quite an interesting and controversial issue. In recent studies, psychologists are inclined to believe that heterosexual friendship is possible when close relationships are impossible for various reasons. Friends of a man can be more interesting in communication than girls - there is no envy, rivalry, more understanding and attention. Friendly relations arise among people with common interests - work, creativity, hobbies.

The psychology of friendship assumes that friendly communication with the opposite sex can be interesting, but it is important to maintain a distance so that friendship does not suddenly turn into love. Often there are situations when one of the friends is in love and hopes for reciprocity, continuing to be friends. Often, strong friendships arise at the beginning of a relationship, uniting spiritually. If a girl has a boyfriend and a close friend, this is an alarming sign, love relationships do not bring satisfaction, feelings fade away, there is a lack of understanding.

There are different opinions about different-sex friendships, life experience does not always confirm the success of friendship, although everything is possible. This issue still requires study and remains a mystery.

As you can see, there are different types of friendship, but the principles and rules of friendship are similar. How to become a good friend, what to pay attention to in relationships with friends?

Basic rules of friendship

Each person dreams of wonderful and loyal friends who are always there, ready to help and understand. However, let's put the question differently, in order to find a friend, like a loved one, you need to be worthy of friendship, be able to be friends, show the best moral qualities, what are the requirements of friendship, what is the basis of relations?

The psychology of friendship defines the basic rules of friendship:
  1. Exchange- friends strive to share information, successes, achievements, news. They are always ready to provide moral support, come to the rescue in difficult situations. They strive to be pleasant for communication, ready for mutual services, sincere and open in communication.
  2. Intimacy- this feature includes the presence of trust in friends, confidence in their reliability. There is a feeling of loyalty, responsibility towards friends, a desire to keep secrets.
  3. Relationship to third parties- the desire to protect a friend in front of other people, the ability to recognize and respect his other friends, calmly take personal relationships, avoid criticism in public.
  4. Coordination- it is important to understand that each person has a personal space, you should not be intrusive, the desire for constant communication, has his own life, interests, concerns. Constant teachings also do not cause joy among friends, respect for a person, his inner world should be a priority.

The secrets of friendship and strong relationships for many years depend on the observance of the code of friendship, unwritten rules. Initially, coordination and relationship with third parties play an important role, as an indicator of friendly relations. Over time, relationships become deeper, suggest more trust, intimacy - reliability, loyalty play a key role in contrast to the standard exchange, which is often found in public life.

How does a person choose friends, on what grounds?

The psychology of friendship asserts that people of the same circle become friends who have similar interests, values, attitudes, are close in age, marital status. However, psychological characteristics can vary significantly. In rare cases, friends come from another sphere, circle, rather to gain new knowledge, learning, development.

At the initial stages of friendship, more attention is paid to external qualities; over time, more personal qualities are appreciated, special characteristics that do not appear immediately, but deserve attention. People get to know each other, gain experience of communication, there is mutual sympathy, affection for friends. At times, moving becomes a tragedy for children - a change of team, the loss of friends. The psychology of relationships, friendship is the result of constant work, like family work. Regular communication, mutual help, support strengthens friendship, you need to find time to maintain friendship, meet with close friends. Every day we can take a step towards friendship, its strengthening, or, letting it go, negate any interaction.

The concept of friendship in psychology presupposes self-disclosure, the desire to share one's own thoughts, ideas, but with different people a person opens up to varying degrees, depending on the closeness of the relationship. As a rule, the frankness of one person is a positive incentive, a desire to share their personal and valuable, showing trust.

In a normal situation, a person has several close friends, relatives whom he trusts, the rest keep their distance and do not enter the soul, this is correct, you should not trust the soul to all people, not everyone will understand, there are also riddles in the personality.

The psychology of friendship defines an important quality of a friend - the ability to understand another person; for perception and adequate assessment, the following qualities are needed:
  • life experience, a person older in age can understand a younger one (teenager, child), the opposite situation is unlikely;
  • psychological similarity of personalities;
  • high intelligence- helps to rationally understand the situation, information;
  • the ability to understand yourself, a high level of awareness contributes to the understanding of other people;
  • emotional stability- promotes a sober attitude of people, and anxiety interferes with being objective;
  • contemplation- the ability to treat people friendly, but look at everything from a distance, observing and analyzing;
  • sensitivity- the ability to perceive and feel your own inner world and other people, be attentive and show participation, understanding.

Thus, it is worth raising the level of development of your personality in order to be a good friend, to learn to understand, feel other people, their experiences, joy and pain. From the point of view of psychology, friendship presupposes a special relationship - a friend becomes exclusive, unique, inimitable. This is a special morality, a desire to distinguish a person and pay special attention to him, emphasizing the value of relationships. Having real friends is the basis of a happy life, and their absence leads to a decrease in self-esteem, a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness.

A person can find soul mates in the world if he strives for this, knows how to communicate and create friendly, open, trusting relationships.

We wish you all true and loyal friends!

And sometimes even the most sworn enemy can rejoice at your grief so that a person will receive support or a long-awaited "kick" to get out of this situation. At the same time, a close friend with whom you are familiar from childhood - do not give that warmth and support that is so needed ...

With whom to build?

Relationships, oddly enough, are built. Gradually and systematically. Of course, it sounds a little creepy - "build", calculate when the result should be close and friendly relations between people. But in fact, there is nothing unnatural in this - we somehow create a social circle, allow some people to communicate with us and avoid others.

Our expectations

To get exactly what we need in a relationship - it would seem that there is nothing easier. However, we need different things every day (and even an hour). Namely:

  • support
  • approval of our actions
  • care
  • timely kick
  • comfort
  • interest in us
  • our interest in another person
  • new information
  • unusual pastime.

Building close and friendly relationships between people is a whole science. With whom is it worth communicating with, and with whom, on the contrary, should you "keep your ears open"? Let's try to go through the main categories of acquaintances from which you can replenish

Colleagues. We try to maintain close and rather friendly relations with them, but between people at work, most often the relationship turns out to be industrial rather than warm. As soon as the share of "warmth" and cozy "get-togethers" over tea and coffee is greater than the solution of production issues, the company can either fire careless talker workers or even cease to exist altogether.

Relatives. Unfortunately, it is rare that close and friendly relations are established between people of blood relatedness. Not only mothers and fathers, but also nephews, aunts, grandmothers and grandchildren fantasize about "who he should be" ... the prism of their own ideas. And where fantasies replace reality, by and large, we are not talking about close or friendly relations.

Casual acquaintances. Cheerful fellow travelers and just sociable people meet quite often. A joint vacation trip, accommodation in neighboring hotel rooms, a long journey by intercity bus or train, and even - all this is a good reason to get acquainted. And yet, do not be upset that in some conditions you managed to make an interesting conversation, but in others you didn’t. At home, in a calm and relaxed atmosphere, you may not want to continue your acquaintance. Interest in fellow travelers fades in direct proportion to the distance left to the hometown - and this is normal. However, in any rule there is a place for pleasant, but unexpected exceptions.

Friends of friends. This category of acquaintances is very prolific for unusual acquaintances. In the general circle, firstly, you quite naturally meet new people, and secondly, you can choose from a large number of people who are really interesting to you. And it is with such people that close, warm relations of mutual assistance and understanding can be struck up. Our friends sometimes know us too closely and not from the best side. And a new friend in this regard is better than the old two. He has not yet heard your "signature" jokes and has not tried your "signature" dish. Like you, you are not too aware of his life, past, cases. And this is already a good reason for joint "get-togethers" over tea and tete-a-tete conversations!

Childhood friends. Unfortunately, we don't just grow - we change. With age, new interests, habits appear, ideas about life change. This means that the relationship with Masha from kindergarten No. 123 can either continue, but in its own way, and stop "as unnecessary." After all, if the purpose and basis of the existence of such a relationship is to periodically recall the old days, then you will want to meet once a year. And no relationship can be warm, friendly and fulfilling if nothing else unites you.

All girlfriends are good - choose the taste!

All acquaintances are divided into former and future girlfriends and friends. Therefore, having long communicated with a person, sooner or later you will have to choose. Either the relationship remains "as is" - for example, friendly, superficial, or breaks off. Or, if there are any points of contact, you can translate them into the category of close and friendly. Of course, most likely you will have to work, noticing and smoothing out "sharp corners" in time, to be interesting yourself and sincerely interested in a person.

On the other hand, letting things go by themselves, it is very easy to get both cunning fox girlfriends and vixen girlfriends. And you can't build a real close relationship with them ...


Friendship occurs when people feel mutual sympathy for each other. The reasons for the emergence of friendly relations can be common interests, moral values, moral ideals, a sense of humor, as well as demeanor, external attractiveness, character traits. Friendly relationships do not imply depth, do not commit to anything, unless over time they develop into friendships. Friendship is a selfless relationship between people that is based on trust, sincerity, sometimes love, on common interests and hobbies. Most often, friendships arise between neighbors. We offer you some tips on how to keep friendships and friendships.

How to maintain good neighborly relations

Try to be considerate of your neighbors, especially if they are elderly people. Always respond to any requests for help (move, unload, load, transfer, etc.). Make sure to return everything you borrowed on time. If your children, you, or your dog hurt your neighbors, compensate right away. Without any requests, help your neighbors with all sorts of little things (help carry a heavy bag, lift the stroller up the stairs, etc.).


Find opportunities to talk to neighbors. When you meet, say hello, smile, exchange at least a couple of words that don't even mean anything.


If possible, invite neighbors to visit. This is one of the best ways to get to know them better, to communicate with them. You can also throw a party for all your neighbors, including those you don't know. Invite everyone personally, talk with each family for at least a few minutes. Even if one of them cannot come to visit you, you will still get to know them and leave the best impressions about yourself.


Meet the newcomers. They may feel insecure and lonely, especially if they have lived in different conditions before or have come from afar. If the newcomers have children, tell me which of the neighbors has their peers. Explain where the shops, schools, kindergartens, parks, cafes and restaurants are. Without staying too long, invite new neighbors to visit and leave your phone number.


To maintain good relations with your neighbors, do not park in a neighbor's parking lot and do not let your guests do it.


Keep in mind that not everyone loves children and pets. Do not let your children run screaming down the street or under the windows of the house. Set limits for children to be active - place, time, noise level. Don't let your dog run around without a muzzle or leash. Periodically ask your neighbors if your family is bothering them. This will make a good impression on the neighbors.

Friendships and how to maintain them

Make time for friends. If you consider the person your friend and value this relationship, try to meet with him more often, or at least call him from time to time.


Don't become a burden to your friend. Remember that the relationship between friends should be equal. Considering that the characters and capabilities of all people are different, before turning to a friend for help, consider how much effort, money, time a friend can give you without feeling irritated. Conversely, don't go out of your way to please a friend. Such relationships are never lasting. As soon as you notice that you are giving much more than you are receiving, start discussing the situation.


Always have your friends' phones on hand. As soon as you have a few free minutes (in a traffic jam, in a queue, having a cup of coffee in a cafe, etc.), call one of your friends and talk on a variety of topics.


Create a tradition to meet once a month with friends on the same day, hour, in the same place. This will bring you closer together.


Protect your friend even in his absence. If you hear that an unflattering comment sounds to your friend, no matter if it is justified criticism or idle fiction, interrupt the speaker and ask him to refrain from such statements to your friend. Sooner or later, your friend will find out about this and this will further strengthen the friendship.


There are many more tips for strengthening friendships and friendships. The main thing is to be honest, sincere, kind in any relationship, then you will have many friends and real friends.

The interaction of people with each other and with the outside world is carried out in the system of objective relations that arise between people in their social life. Objective attitudes and connections (dependence, subordination, cooperation, rivalry, mutual assistance, etc.) inevitably and naturally arise in society as a whole and in any real group. Reflecting in the consciousness of a person, refracting through the prism of the inner world of the personality of each member of the group, saturated with emotions, these objective relationships turn into subjective interpersonal relationships.

Interpersonal relationships- subjectively experienced relationships between people, objectively manifested in the nature and methods of mutual influences and interactions in the process of joint activities and communication.

Interpersonal relationships are defined mutual partners' readiness for a certain type of feelings, claims, expectations and behavior.

In the works of NNObozov the following classification of interpersonal relationships is proposed: relations of acquaintance, friendship, comradely, friendship, love, conjugal, kindred; destructive relationships are highlighted. This classification does not claim to be complete and complete, but it reflects the main types of significant relationships and turns out to be practically useful for analyzing real everyday relationships.

This classification is based on several criteria: the depth of the relationship, the selectivity in the choice of partners, the function of the relationship.

The main criterion is the measure, the depth of the person's involvement in relationships. Several levels of characteristics can be distinguished in the structure of the personality:

general(gender, age, race);

sociocultural(nationality, social status, profession,

education, political and religious affiliation, etc.);

psychological(temperament, character, intelligence, motivation, etc.);

individual(unique, inimitable features of the inner world of a person, due to the originality of a person's life path).

Different types of interpersonal relationships involve the inclusion of certain levels of personality characteristics in communication. Each level of characteristics plays a more or less important role for a certain species. The most complete and deepest involvement of the individual in friendships and family relationships.

The second criterion is the degree of selectivity in choosing partners for relationships. Selectivity can be determined by the number of signs that are significant for the establishment and maintenance of relationships. People are most selective in relations of friendship, marriage; the least - in dating relationships. The fewer people can be involved in a relationship, the more careful and biased selection becomes. Each of us has more acquaintances than friends, and friends more than friends.

The third criterion highlighted by researchers of interpersonal relations is the functions (goals, purpose) of relationships. Functions are understood as a range of tasks, issues that are resolved in interpersonal relationships, needs that are satisfied in these relationships. The functions of relationships are manifested in the difference in their content, psychological meaning for partners.

Additional criteria for distinguishing interpersonal relationships can be considered: the distance between partners, the duration and frequency of contacts, the use of role cliches in the acts of communication, the norms of relations, the requirements for the conditions of contact.

Each interpersonal relationship is characterized by a certain distance between partners, presupposes one or another measure of participation of role cliches, and makes demands on the frequency and duration of meetings. The general pattern is as follows: as the relationship deepens (for example, friendship versus acquaintance), the distance decreases, the frequency of contacts increases, and role cliches disappear.

To understand the essence of friendship and comradeship it is necessary to know their antipodes; enmity, rivalry. For some types of interpersonal relationships in real life, you can find their opposites: friendship - hostility, camaraderie - rivalry. However, some types of interpersonal relationships do not have antipodes, their negative forms are nonspecific. So, it is impossible to find a real opposition to the relationship of acquaintance, marriage. The termination of such relations is expressed in the complete disappearance of contact, their transition to another type of relationship (for example, marriage to acquaintance) or transformation into a negative form of another type of relationship (enmity, rivalry).

The practical benefit of knowing the characteristics of interpersonal relationships in everyday life is most realized when the participants in the relationship qualify (evaluate) them differently, and each behaves in accordance with his own assessment of the relationship. "The relationship did not work out ...". This formula is known to everyone. They do not add up for various reasons, but perhaps the most common reason is the discrepancy between the behavior of one partner and the expectations of the other. Let's say one of the partners evaluates the relationship as friendly, and the other as friendly. In this case, most likely the first will seem cold to the second, and the second to the first - intrusive.

An integral sign of stable interpersonal relationships is their reciprocity. Mutual friendship can last indefinitely. But the relationship "friend - friend" can not exist for a long time, because inevitably entail misunderstanding, misunderstandings, mutual displeasure. Such relationships will either end completely or go into another type of relationship. Moreover, to break off relations, the desire of one side is enough, and to change, the efforts of both partners are required.

N.N. Obozov, on the basis of research on interpersonal relationships, proposed psychological characteristics of various types of relationships.

Dating relationship. This relationship is not determined by kinship or the goals of joint activities. The circle of persons with whom a person enters into a relationship of acquaintance is the widest. It can cover up to several hundred persons, i.e. we have as many acquaintances as our memory can hold. But the point here is, of course, not only in memory. An uncommunicative, reserved person, an introvert, even with a good memory, will include far fewer people among his acquaintances than a sociable person.

A relationship can be called a dating relationship if:

you know by sight, you find out, you exchange greetings and sometimes "secular phrases", for example, about the weather.

We suggest doing the following exercise: write a list of all your acquaintances. Include in it those relationships with whom belong to other types of relationships. The list can be compiled for several days by choosing free minutes. Offer this exercise to people who have a relationship with whom you can make such requests.

The circle of acquaintances is largely determined by age, gender, profession, place of residence, social status of a person.

Situations of the emergence of acquaintance are varied and different for different cultures (the youth subculture in this sense is the most democratic). Maintaining and preserving the relationship of acquaintance largely depends on the psychological characteristics of people (sociability, charm, self-confidence, active life position, etc.) and is also determined by cultural traditions.

An acquaintance relationship is manifested in the act of recognition and greeting. An acquaintance relationship is a source of awareness of social and species affiliation: gender, age, territoriality, etc. When meeting, the first impression of a person is formed.

Dating relationships are the least emotionally intense. As a rule, we experience mild sympathy, antipathy or indifference to simply acquaintances. When we are in a familiar social environment, dating relationships usually do not occupy us too much. Negative experiences are caused by the complete absence of a relationship of acquaintance. Everyone who has had a chance to change their place of residence, their usual habitat knows this. Dating relationships, despite their seeming insignificance, play an important role in our life.

Friendly relationship arise on the basis of a relationship of acquaintance. For the formation of friendly relations, a fairly stable circle of acquaintances is required, conditions of joint activity that are significant for partners in various fields (everyday life, work, study, leisure), and mutual interest.

Relationships are becoming more selective. Friendship, as a rule, connects people close in age. Gender, education, social status are important here insofar as they allow for common interests and similarities in basic values.

The very word "friend" indicates the special role of acceptance-rejection, when sympathies-antipathies are one of the main conditions for the emergence and maintenance of relationships. Emotional experiences and evaluations are included in friendships to a greater extent than in dating relationships. For the emergence of positive mutual evaluations in communication, it is important to have a similarity of opinions on certain issues related to various spheres of life: personal life, profession, politics, art, hobbies, etc. When communicating with friends, topics are touched upon more important than in dating relationships. The circle of friends is narrower than the circle of acquaintances. The number of friends depends on a person's sociability, his need for contacts with other people. The survey showed that friends are most often called those with whom it is pleasant and interesting to spend time, to talk.

Try to compile a “buddy list” based on your “acquaintance list”.

Friendly relations arise from relationships of acquaintance and friendships, when conditions arise that contribute to a closer rapprochement of people.

Time plays an important role in the development of friendships. Long-term relationships of acquaintance and friendship lead to the fact that people get to know each other better, on the basis of deepening sympathy, relations become more stable, trust grows, affection arises, a need for each other. Relationships turn into friendships.

Difficulties, difficulties in work or personal life are often the impetus for the rapprochement of people, the consolidation of their relationship. This fact is reflected in the proverb “A friend is known in trouble”. At the same time, no less true are the words: "A friend is known in joy." Compassionate easier than rejoice. Probably, compassion and " sympathy"Are different in their origin and, perhaps, in" age "in the human psyche. Probably, animals should also experience something resembling compassion, and this has a biological adaptive value. Anxious screams and other signs of an animal's suffering reflexively cause anxiety, fear in other animals, and include mechanisms of protection or flight ... per another can only be a person, experience success, the success of another as own only a true friend can. There is no room for envy in a friendship.

A friendly relationship begins with sympathy, respect, trust.

A very high selectivity is characteristic of friendly relations. A true friend is an alter ego, i.e. second I.

Friendship is based on common interests and similarities in basic goals and values. An important criterion for friendly relations is their reciprocity, an adequate assessment of the nature and value of relations by both partners. Friendships usually involve two or three people. In companies of friends, everyone is linked by friendship, but the closest contacts are established in pairs, a kind of micro-groups.

In friendly relations, the instrumental and emotional-confessional components are distinguished. Their share in the relationship may vary.

Instrumental friendship is based on mutual assistance in various life circumstances.

An emotional-confessional relationship presupposes emotional support, a high degree of trust, mutual understanding, and absolute benevolence. This not only does not exclude the possibility of criticism, but just makes it effective.

Best friends tend to be peers, reflecting the psychological need for a relationship based on the principles of equality and similarity of basic characteristics.

Friendship relationships are typical for all people regardless of gender and age, however, there is an age and gender specificity of friendship.

The age dynamics of friendship is manifested in the degree of its selectivity, stability and intimacy. The growth in the selectivity of friendly relations is accompanied by an increase in their stability and psychological intimacy.

Friendship acquires special value in adolescence. They occupy an exceptional place among youthful affections. As the first self-selected deep individual affection, friendship not only anticipates love, but also includes it.

Friendship ties in adulthood, while retaining the main signs of friendship (selectivity, stability, intimacy), lose their "totality", often acting as an addition to family attachments.

Sexual differences are manifested in the fact that female friendship, as a rule, is dominated by the emotional-confessional component, and in the male - the instrumental component of friendly relations. Women perceive relationships more subtly, react more sharply to their nuances than men.

Friendly relations have been highly valued and appreciated by all peoples and at all times, however, there are people whose need for psychological closeness, satisfied in friendship, is poorly developed. This is a consequence of both selfishness or emotional poverty, and hypertrophy of the achievement motive. A person is completely absorbed in objective activity, pays less attention to his own experiences and the people around him.

Please write down the names of your friends on a piece of paper.

Companionship are close to instrumental friendships. Just as instrumental friendships, they are realized in the sphere of objective activity, but they are conditioned not by personal preferences, but by the situation of joint activity, belonging to one community, as a rule, production. Companionship is focused on achieving group goals. Partnership attributes - mutual assistance, assistance, cooperation, etc. increase the efficiency of joint activities.

Companionship functions with any quantitative composition, since the connections between comrades are set by group goals.

In the recent past, camaraderie "fostered the spirit of collectivism", was viewed in the context of achieving the goals of communist construction, and had a significant ideological load. Nowadays, collectives are more often called teams, and the spirit of collectivism is called corporate unity. The ideological function of partnership relations remains, but its content changes. Partnership relations in a group of people working together contribute to improving the efficiency of joint activities, achieving corporate goals.

The psychological meaning of the partnership remains unchanged. The need to establish a friendship or friendship with this or that person arises from within. The need to maintain comradely relations, their duration is dictated by external factors. I am friends with this person because want this; I have a friendly relationship with this person, because so necessary(of course, "must" does not exclude "want").

Companionship can turn into friendship or friendship. Practice shows that friendships can negatively affect the effectiveness of group activities. First, friendship shifts our attention from a task to a relationship, and secondly (and perhaps firstly) the ethical values ​​of friendship and camaraderie do not always coincide. The main value of friendship is the good of a friend; the main value of a partnership is the achievement of common goals.

Love relationship are built as a form of satisfaction of the emotional and sexual needs of partners and can pass into other types of relationships. Here it is necessary to emphasize the difference between the relationship of love in general and love relationship between sexual partners. Love relationships do not stand out as an independent type of interpersonal relationships. They represent the most important component of marital and family relations, can be included in friendships, and form the basis of love relationships.

The feeling of love is the highest degree of an emotionally positive attitude of a person to a person. Love relationships are characterized by exceptional selectivity in choosing a partner, which leads to the singularity or even absence of this type of relationship in a person's life.

The depth of the relationship of love is explained by the total involvement of partners in this relationship.

People in a loving relationship tend to value each other's positive qualities, especially those that they consider to be the most valuable in terms of value. Therefore, there is an opinion that "love is blind." The philosopher and psychotherapist W. Frankl questions this common truth. Is love blind, which makes you see only good in the object of love? Maybe, on the contrary, love has a special vision that allows you to see the potential of a person, which could be manifested, and which cannot be noticed without love? Maybe when love leaves, a person does not see his sight, but goes blind, losing the opportunity to see the best in another person?

Love relationships are distinctive and unique in each case. This is one of the most difficult subjects of scientific research, we comprehend the essence of love from our own experience and by reading wonderful works of fiction. “This mystery is great” *.

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* An expression from the Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Ephesians, which is read during the Orthodox wedding ceremony.

Spousal relations arise as a result of the formalization of love relationships. Marriage as a form of interpersonal relations is understood as the totality of socially regulated relations between marriage partners. From the point of view of society, the function of marriage is to ensure social control over population reproduction and sexual behavior. For a person, marriage is an interpersonal relationship that allows satisfying the need for emotional attachment, individual sexual love, the need for procreation, the organization of life and leisure, moral and emotional support. These needs can be satisfied outside of marriage, but marriage organizes, stabilizes, socially sanctions their satisfaction.

The multifunctionality of marital relations requires the all-round inclusion of the individual, creates the preconditions for high selectivity in choosing a partner, and gives marital relations exceptional depth and intimacy. For a modern marriage, the most important thing is to satisfy the psychological needs of partners: the need for affection, love, support, emotional and sexual communication. The most lasting and happiest marriages are those in which partners are linked by a relationship of love and friendship.

Marital compatibility is of particular importance for family harmony, harmony of relationships. Compatibility is such an effect of communication between people, which is characterized by the maximum possible satisfaction with relationships, a sense of unity, integrity of couples (which is expressed in a sense of similarity, similarity, sameness). For spouses, communication is not only a means of solving family household issues, but also an end in itself - as "communication for the sake of communication."

Relationship based on a common origin, a connection by birth. The number of persons included in kinship relations depends on many factors: the actual number of relatives, proximity of residence, cultural traditions.

A person cannot, of his own free will, choose persons in relation to kinship, and therefore, depending on objective and subjective circumstances, kinship relations can manifest themselves in the form of friendly, friendly, comradely relations. At the same time, all kinship relationships have the same basis and a single function - taking care of maintaining the physical and social well-being of members of the kinship group.

Anthropological research traces the idea of ​​the genus as a social community performing the tasks of maintaining, surviving and prospering members of the genus. Apparently, this function is also characteristic of modern kinship relations, albeit in a more disguised form.

Kinship relationships include parent-child relationships. It is these relationships that largely determine how, throughout a person's future life, all other types of interpersonal relationships will develop in him. A lot of works of psychologists and teachers are devoted to the relationship between parents and children.