What to write to your former beloved. How to forget him and what to write to a guy to hurt him

16.06.2019

This article is specially designed for those girls who want to write a letter to the guy who dumped them, the so-called - "letter of revenge".

The first and most important thing I want to say about this is - if you do not want to return the guy, and the content of your letter will not be aimed at restoring relations, but is intended only to express yourself in style - « But what would HE know ...! ... and let him not imagine that ...! ... not a big loss ...! " , then -

DON'T NEED TO WRITE A LETTER TO THE GUY WHO DROPPED YOU!

Why you shouldn't write to the one who left you

Everything that I will say below is based on my many years of psychological practice and the experience of confidential communication with several hundred men and women. In this case, I do not consider the moral and ethical side of the breakdown of relations, I do not understand who is right and who is wrong. We consider only the dilemma - "to write or not to write?"

And so, what is your goal, wanting to write a letter to the person who left you at any cost? Vote, and then I will write a separate article where I will analyze each of the reasons and the corresponding actions.

For what purpose do you want to write a letter to the guy who dumped you?

Get it back (44%, 71 vote (s))
To make him regret giving up (29%, 46 vote (s))
Leave the last word (16%, 26 vote (s))
Hurt (6%, 9 vote (s))
Make him feel guilty (4%, 7 votes)
Revenge (1%, 2 vote (s))

Do you really think that with the help of a letter you can achieve at least one of the above? If you really think so, you are very deeply mistaken. Whatever you write, whatever words and phrases you use in your letter, begging or offensive, all that you will achieve is. After that, the guy will not doubt for a minute that he did the right thing by parting with you.

In this regard, I have a question - do you want this?

Let's look at the situation from a different angle. He left you, and you stopped communicating. Then there is ignorance and silence. You can think of each other whatever you want, but neither you nor he knows exactly what these thoughts are and whether they exist at all.

On the one hand, it hurts you because he left, because you are not indifferent to him. But if he left, it means that he does not have deep feelings for you.

On the other hand, he does not know exactly how you feel after breaking up. The guy, after all, may also think that maybe you didn’t have any special feelings for him and didn’t even love him, but just met - “out of nothing to do”.

Both of you will remain in this ignorance until either of you speaks out (does not write a letter). From that moment on, the one who wrote the letter, by this fact alone, admits that he is bitter and difficult because the relationship has ended. The content and tone of the letter do not matter in this case.

The one who wrote the letter admits his weakness. This is how it will be appreciated by those who quit. Do you think that after reading the letter, the guy will bang his head against the wall or bite his elbows? I assure you, nothing like this will happen. On the contrary, it will become much easier for him. And the more derogatory and even offensive the content of your letter is, the more he will triumph, realizing his moral superiority over you.

Most likely, he will not answer, although you will wait for his reaction. Just do not convince yourself that you are indifferent to his reaction. You can't fool yourself! And what will happen after? Write another letter? And you will want to write, because it will be even harder for you than before.

Your relationship has ended. It doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong, but after that you have only two options (depending on your desire, depth of feelings and situation):

Both the first and the second do not get along with the desire to write a "letter of revenge".
A strong person is always generous. Anger, anger and hidden resentment are the lot of the weak.
Now think again - to write or not write a letter to the guy who dumped you?

But if the feeling of revenge does not leave you, use the game below, it will release your tension. The game is suitable for both women and men. Depending on the subject that you choose, either a woman - a man or a man - a woman will take revenge. The most important thing is to take everything with humor, but I warn you that the toy is VERY cruel, because otherwise it is difficult to achieve a therapeutic effect ... And there is no need to write a "letter of revenge".

FROM THE AUTHOR: My answers in the comments are the opinion of a private person and not a recommendation from a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I physically do not have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also do not have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I very much ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

Best regards and hope for understanding, Frederica

If you like a guy with whom you want to chat and spend time, do not be shy! The opinion that a guy should always write first is a myth, because boys are also pleased when they are paid attention to. Of course, you should not forget and bombard him with messages all the time, but there is nothing wrong with showing your interest. In addition, in the course of a conversation, the initiative can be imperceptibly transferred to a man.

How to make a guy fall in love with a message to which he will definitely answer?

Of course, you don't just want to talk, you want to bewitch yourself, to charm in the process of communication. How can this be done? How to put the dialogue so that he answered accurately, and, moreover, began to fall in love with you?

There are no universal techniques, but there are general rules of communication that awaken emotions in men. These rules require skill, so be careful about how to charm him. Any skill needs practice.

Make it exceptional

Subtly hint what you wrote to him - this is an exceptional case. Communication with such information should not be rude and intrusive.

It should be something like, “Hi! I was surfing the pages of a social network and suddenly noticed your post. " or “Listen, I understand that we don’t know each other, but I don’t know where else to ask ... None of my friends are interested in numismatics, and then I came across your page. Can you help me with some questions? "

Ask him for help

By the way, requests for help make a man proudly straighten his shoulders. You can ask him a few questions on a topic in which he is competent, and then smoothly turn the conversation into another direction.

Hook his interests

Get to know his hobbies and get interested in them. The main thing here is sincerity. If you figure out exactly where the business that the guy is doing with passion and inspiration, your scores will increase significantly.

What to write so that he would respond in a contact or classmates?

If your message does not catch him, do not insist and write 50 more times.

Still, it's better to behave like a woman and pretend that it doesn't matter at all to you. A man will simply not be interested if you start running after him. Write the next letter or message only after his reply. Don't send a bunch of letters one after the other.

Questions like “Where are you ?????????”, “Where have you disappeared again….?”, “Why are you ignoring me? : (("Should be kept with you. The guy doesn't need them. Doesn't want to answer? His problems!

Illiteracy

Try to write correctly: since a person cannot see you, he will evaluate your writing style and accuracy.

Familiarity

Don't call your boyfriend with affectionate words right away. Any "Andryushenka", "Vanechka", "sun" or "my captain" will immediately create the wrong impression. Likewise, you shouldn't come up with mocking names. “Cucumber” or “Titanic” may not be perceived as a joke at all, even in an obvious context, and simply offend the guy.

Also, do not lisp with him. Don't ask, “What, is the baby sick again? Oh, how bad! Where did you manage? ”. You are not a grandmother or a mother for him, such an exaggerated concern will only repel. Take an interest in his affairs without unnecessary aspirations, but with sincere interest.

Deception

You should not create false impressions about yourself, anyway, when they meet, they will scatter like dust in the wind. Be sincere is always the best choice.

Self-obsession

You shouldn't talk only about yourself and write huge treatises. Any letter should contain several questions to him and comments on his answers. Interested in him sincerely! A series of endless “And I ..” does not lead to a constructive dialogue.

SMS message

Now, you somehow got the number of the guy you liked. How can you interest him now? How to captivate yourself?

First, you can write, they say, a friend gave his number and you want to chat. And it doesn't matter where you got his number from, in fact, you can use such a setting just as an excuse. True, you need to quickly switch to another topic of conversation. Better to steer him away from asking who exactly gave you his phone.
You can choose a simple and uncomplicated method, but quite effective: send him some cool smiley. If he is sociable enough, then he will definitely answer you with such a cool smile. After several such SMS, he will definitely be interested in who is writing this from an unfamiliar number and he will be the first to ask a question.
You can ask him about plans and immediately propose a meeting. Anything will do here: an offer to walk with the dogs, make a joint math notes, join a morning jog - it all depends on your interests and your imagination.
Ask him for help. Men can rarely refuse a girl who asks for help. For example, you might ask for help with test preparation, teach you how to pull up, or help carry heavy bags. The main thing is that it is really relevant.

What to write to a guy to hurt him?

To discourage a guy and get him to answer right away, you need to pique his curiosity. For example, you can use this technique: “Oh my God! Really, everything that I have been told about you - the truth ?? " Such a proposal is mildly shocking at best and is unlikely to go unanswered.

You can use a more charming trick and flatter a little: “Is it true that you are an infinitely interesting storyteller?“Questions like these will surely awaken an emotional response in him, and in our case, it is exactly what we need.

Never be shy about admiring a guy's accomplishments. Men are greedy for praise, it makes them flourish, makes them even more courageous and motivates them to conquer new heights. The main thing here is not to overdo it, so that the praise does not seem like undeserved flattery. Phrases like: “Listen, you know so much!”, “Exactly! I would not have thought of that ... ", "You're doing great!" and others like that. They must be appropriate.

Add exclusivity

Make him think that he gives you special confidence. For this, the following phrases are suitable: “I usually do not discuss this issue, but for some reason I wanted to”, “You know, I haven’t told anyone about this yet”. Relevance is also important here. And, of course, you should not devote the guy to the really personal details of your life, because it is completely incomprehensible how your relationship will develop further.

Be sincere

Trust is essential in any relationship, so it’s better to be honest and sincere from the start than trying to correct mistakes after a real meeting.

What if we had a fight?

You can give him warm words. To mitigate negative emotions, write something like, “Hello. I think about you all the time. ”,“ I missed you. Shall we meet? ”. It may not help much if he is very offended.
"Need to talk. Shall we meet? " - this option is suitable if you don’t just forget the problem that has arisen: that is, when the heat of emotions has passed, but the question really needs to be clarified.
If you don't dwell on the question of who was right after all, you can write the following: “Everything turned out so stupid. You are a very dear person to me. Let's make it up." or “I missed you. Let's forget everything and walk together again. " These options are optimal. They show that a good relationship with a person is more important to you, and not a clarification of these very relationships.

When texting someone after an argument, you both need to be sober. Such conversations should not be conducted on the rise of negative emotions or when they have not yet gone away, and you have not calmed down.

Reconciliation with a person can only be calmed down, so have patience to wait.

What message can an ex-boyfriend respond to?

Often, if you broke up with your boyfriend and suddenly changed your mind, you should just write that. “You know, I really missed you and realized that you are very dear to me. I really want to return everything. Let's meet". That should be more than enough for any normal guy, especially if you broke up in a pretty good relationship.
You can remind him of the pleasant moments that you spent together, tell him how much you miss it.
Show that you value him, and the discord that was between you does not matter. You can write: “I know that you did your best to make our relationship happy. I’m wrong, I’ll fix it. Thank you for being there. "

In general, when dealing with ex-boyfriends, it is better to use positive emotions and memories.

Chances are, you both got tired of dramas together, and after breaking up, they are completely inappropriate. Show that you want the best, that you will no longer criticize him and rip off your displeasure on him, then the probability that the guy will answer will be 100%.

They say that you cannot enter the same river twice, but some couples can renew their relationship over and over again. Maybe the fault is the hasty decision to leave, which comes suddenly. Or the realization that it is better not to find a partner. But whatever one may say, you can become happy in a relationship after the second and after the third attempt.

What if you feel like you want to renew your relationship with your ex and are already wondering what to write to your ex? Then make up your mind for it! But before that, think about how and when it is best to do it. And is it worth writing to the former at all.

If you are determined to do this, we will tell you what to write to your ex-boyfriend so that it really hooks him.

Young woman using smart phone on bridge.

WHAT TO WRITE TO A FORMER BOY TO INTEREST HIM

If you met your girlfriends and drank a couple of cocktails, do not rush to grab the phone and dial your ex-boyfriend or think about what to write to your ex-boyfriend to hurt him. In this case, he will not consider this gesture sincere and think that it is not your feelings that speak, but the very drinks. If you want to renew a relationship with a man, it is best to do so consciously. Think about what to write to your ex and when to do it.

What is the purpose of your message

First, decide what the content of your letter should be. Perhaps you want to apologize for your behavior, or you may just offer to meet. Or maybe you think what to write to your ex-boyfriend so that he comes back?

When you understand what goal you are pursuing, it will become clearer how to formulate your idea and what to write to your ex-boyfriend to answer. Find the right words and take action.

Start your message by saying you've accepted your breakup. Write that you do not hold anger at the man if you broke up through his fault. If you yourself initiated the breakup, then you can apologize for your behavior (suddenly you made a loud scandal before leaving) and say that you regret what you did.

Or maybe he hurt you and you want to write something to him in revenge. What to write to an offended girl who is already a former and unloved guy to hurt him? For example, that you are much happier in a new relationship. That your current man is better than him in every sense. And that the relationship with him is just a mistake.

What exactly do you want to say

If you think what to write to a guy after breaking up so that your message touches him, but in a good way: that is, does not leave him indifferent, then try to start with the next one. Write how you live and let us know why you decided to contact the guy. If your letter begins with the general phrase, “How are you?”, You risk not getting an answer. After all, the very fact that you are writing to a former man can overwhelm him.

Think carefully about what to write to your ex-boyfriend and how to get him to respond. For example, tell us about how your life is going after breaking up, what has changed, and write how you feel. And then ask him to tell about himself too.

WHAT TO WRITE FOR THE FORMER AND HOW TO DO IT CORRECTLY

Form is important as is content

Are you still wondering what to write to your already ex-but still wanted boyfriend, with the sole intention of getting him interested? Then consider not only the meaning, but also the form of presentation. You probably know that sometimes it is not what we say that is more important, but how we convey our thought. For example, the way you constantly think about your ex can be said in different ways:

I know that my letter will surprise you, but if it is convenient for you, I would like to talk to you.
I miss you and have no idea what I will do if you don’t answer me.

If in the first case you will look confident, then in the second it is more likely desperate. Therefore, form your thoughts correctly and choose the most suitable words for them.

Sincerity comes first

If you think what to write to your ex, but nothing comes into your head, just write about how you feel. If you broke up through your fault, then it's never too late to apologize to your ex-boyfriend. Moreover, if your breakup was accompanied by quarrels and tantrums.

When you write sincerely, you feel regret in the letter. Tell us about your intentions to rebuild the relationship, taking into account previous mistakes. This is enough and you don't have to figure out what to write to your ex-boyfriend to interest him.

Correct format

Once you've decided what to write to your ex-boyfriend, choose the right format. If you first want to interest him, then write a short SMS, in which you can indicate that you need to talk. Well, if you want to talk about everything at once and you cannot choose what to write to your ex, you can prepare a long letter in which your feelings, experiences and intentions will be expressed.

In any case, having decided what to write to the guy to hurt him, consider whether it is worth writing at all. After all, if your contradictions, internal or external, remained unresolved, then it is unlikely that you should enter into the same relationship again. Perhaps this is just not your person?

If you are 100% sure that you want to relate fate with your ex-boyfriend again, then drop all doubts and write what your heart tells you.

If the resentment persists, you can try to hurt the person, or maybe return.

It is very difficult to express everything that has boiled over in person. Even on the phone, people often forget the words, and then they replay this moment millions of times in their heads and mentally correct it. It is much easier to pour out your feelings on paper, although it would be more accurate to say - in a message.

Should I write?

It is necessary to think carefully whether it is necessary at all to try to return the person who chose to break off the romantic relationship? Perhaps it's better to find a new one who really appreciates the girl and accepts her for who she is? However, sometimes a "well-aimed" phrase on the fence can interest the ex-chosen one and return the light to the relationship.

On the verge of breaking, there is a chance to save everything. Watching the video!

It is an irrefutable fact that women are much more emotional than men. Guys, on the other hand, attach importance to actions, not words. You should not lament and press on pity: this is unlikely to lead to the desired effect. The text of the intended messages should depend on what result is to be achieved - to return the young man, or to make him really hurt.

Another appeared

If people have been together for a long time, lived together or spent every day with each other, then they definitely know about all the weak points of each other. you can thank for the time spent together, but also mention that support is not required, there is already someone who can cope with this task. You can interpret such a message as you like, because you can get consolation from a friend, mom, sister ... A violent fantasy will definitely not let a jealous ex sleep peacefully at night. He may even begin to reflect on what he has lost.

We continue the conversation

Someone prefers to answer with a message to a question that was often raised during violent quarrels. Every couple has such a theme. The answer may be a little bit reproachful, mysterious, or a little bit disappointing. Such a text will make the person feel guilty. And it is possible that the guy will try to somehow make amends for her. Should I risk so much? Each word must be carefully thought out so that unnecessary thoughts do not arise that can irrevocably ruin everything.

Lyrics

If romance is not alien to a guy, you should come up with a message with a little sad overtones. Rhetorical questions will do, too. Fortunately, there are a lot of them in modern pop songs: any line can be ripped out and beaten, if the imagination is tight. Most importantly, no accusations. The whole challenge is to evoke nostalgia. The person himself will remember the good moments and begin to regret the past.

After all, karma always pays back debts, you can pay off in full for rash actions, if, of course, you believe in fatalism. Otherwise, only conscience will be the judge. It is much easier to wish you happiness, to thank for all the good and ... to let go.

Are you waiting for a response from your loved one again? Did he promise to call in five minutes an hour ago? Are you upset that this is not the first time this situation has been repeated? Or maybe he just left after you once again quarreled, contemptuously stifling another insult through clenched teeth? Or even worse - you don't know how to stir him up, make him less cold and indifferent? Write him a message that could hurt him!

An indisputable fact- men are less emotional than women. They attach much less importance to words, preferring to prove their case by deed. They don't understand how important it can be to hear from them, to feel an emotional response, to make sure that you are still loved. Often they have to be provoked to release emotions in not very pleasant ways - scandals, tantrums, offensive or catchy SMS ... In the fight for a relationship like in a war - all means are good!

However, many girls, in principle, do not accept too strong emotional pressure on a man. Shouts and quarrels, even just raising the tone, are considered a sign of disrespect for themselves and for the guy. In this case, the only thing that remains for them as an "auxiliary circle" is a biting, tenacious word. With one SMS or a Vkontakte message, you can make a guy nervous, worry, suffer, or vice versa - to please him, interest, excite, awaken some kind of tender feelings. How to do all this? How to learn to subdue guys with words? About this - in our article!

What to write to a guy to hurt him?

Let's figure it out first, what exactly do we want: somehow take revenge, anger, hook the guy, or vice versa, interest and please him. As you can imagine, the approaches in this case will be fundamentally different.

The main advice that can be given to girls who want to pleasantly surprise a guy and interest him is - be straightforward, but mysterious, sweet, but dangerous, funny, but a little sad ... In general, your goal is create a contradictory image and a double impression. A man should think: "What, in fact, is this beauty?" If he asks himself this question - everything, you can consider that the trick is in the bag.

So, here are some tips you can give girls who want to pleasantly interest a young man:

Don't be afraid to write first. There is nothing terrible or shameful in this - moreover, guys often value initiative in the fair sex! But it's better if the first message is not too intrusive. Experienced seductresses generally advise starting a dialogue as if by chance: “Listen, but this group (insert your favorite group of the guy, from which you are“ crazy ”) really comes to us? Don't know how to get a ticket? "," Please help me find a good programmer ... Oh, is that you? How amazing!".
Come up with a reason to contact- if you feel that the communication attempt has failed, you can smoothly round off the conversation and leave beautifully without hurting your pride and dignity.
If you like each other, then everyone will understand that your message is just an excuse.
Don't be afraid to joke! Humor is your best helper! Here everything will depend on your image: if you are a quivering young lady, do not allow yourself to be rude humor. If you are “your boyfriend”, then some not quite feminine jokes will be quite forgivable to you and even add charm to you in his eyes.
Don't push yourself. If you feel that the dialogue is "stuck" - it is better to stop communicating at least for a short time. If the chill does not go away, this is not your option. If everything goes well, that's just great!
Show interest in his hobbies. Get interested in football, yoga, exotic animals or collecting stamps ... In general, become not only pleasant, but also an interesting conversationalist! A successfully inserted phrase about his hobbies in a conversation can play a decisive role in your relationship.
Don't write two phrases:"I'm bored" and "Tell me something." This is guaranteed to alienate anyone, even the most patient guy!
Be different. Change your writing style dramatically at times. Instead of a restrained text, send a beautiful verse, become a naughty joker from a responsible girl for at least 5 minutes. Your goal is not to get bored. Remember: you are not always the same boring girl, but a deep multifaceted personality who is constantly changing! It's good if everything in your relationship is just beginning and you want to evoke positive emotions in the guy. But it also happens that it is necessary to anger a young man, upset him - in other words, offend.

It largely depends on what relationship are you in... If you have been together for a long time, then you know all his weak points and you can easily put pressure on them. For example, your boyfriend is jealous. In a short SMS, you can play it beautifully: “You had reasons to do this to me. But don't worry - I have someone to comfort me. " On the one hand, your mom, sister, friend can comfort you ... But the jealous's imagination will draw this at all, which is just right for you!
Try SMS answer the question he often asks in front of you in the heat of a quarrel. For example, he constantly asks you: “Why are you asking me questions if you don’t want to listen to the answers?”. If you write him an SMS with something like this: “You know, I often ask you about everything, hoping for the best option. But your answers are killing our relationship and I don’t want to accept them. ” Impact on what worries a person emotionally will provide you with his thoughts and experiences about your SMS.
After a violent quarrel with screams, recriminations and broken dishes romantic SMS works very well with a touch of sadness. For example, “That's when you didn't yell at me. And for every tear I shed, you were ready to die. What have we done with our love? Where have those feelings gone? " The main thing is not to blame the guy. Your job is to bring back memories of the old days, not make him feel guilty. He himself will think and repent, the main thing is not to allow a moralizing tone in SMS.
Use code words and sentences in SMS, which are used by your couple. Comic nicknames, phrases from jointly watched videos ... This method is very good when you need to hook a guy after a long protracted quarrel, the "cold war". Your "family" phrases are guaranteed to melt the ice of his heart.

What you definitely shouldn't be in your message:

rudeness and insults;
mat;
reproaches for sexual inadequacy;
reproaches for physical imperfections;
whining and snot, lengthy regrets about the past;
phrases a la "I will drown myself, hang myself, shoot myself, leave without a hat on a cold night";
phrases "I am pregnant" if it is not true. In no case do not write this - it is not forgiven.

Keep yourself together and choose expressions according to the situation. And try to wait a while after the quarrel - this way the information will be better received. Immediately, hot on the heels, we perceive information differently than with a fresh mind.

Now you know what you need to write to the guy to hurt him. But what if this guy is an ex? This is described below.

You broke up - no matter on whose initiative, no matter how smoothly and how many tears there were. The important thing is that you are no longer together, you are not one. Sometimes you want to take revenge on your ex, sometimes you just want to make him think only of you. Sometimes - so that he regretted leaving you. There are a lot of options. How do you get your ex-boyfriend to be hurt by your message?

Don't write romantically. He may think that you are intruding and want a renewal of the relationship. This should not be allowed under any circumstances!
Try to write indifferently. You see, every guy in his heart considers himself the very best, the most irresistible, the most unforgettable. The only thing they can't stand is indifference! Therefore, write dryly, with restraint, indifferently.
If the breakup was hard you can write about inviting him to a party(of course, the date should be when he won't be able to come). This will show that you do not suffer at all from a break in relations, do not think that he is suffering and are indifferent to him - you are ready to communicate with him calmly despite everything that happened between you.
Do not write corny.“I felt bad in bed with you”, “I’m pregnant”, “I cheated on you” - this is all the past century. Boring, hackneyed, sometimes even funny. The guy will not hurt, only amuse or disappoint in you.
Try to write something ironic, with overtones. The phrase “The cat misses you. Naive animal "- allows you to express all the negative in relation to the guy. “Oh, what a pity - your mug has broken. I can’t convey ”will make you think why you broke it or who broke it - wondering what is happening, why he is treated badly. “I was looking for sadness from parting. Not found. Let's part one more time, we did something wrong ”can hurt a guy very much, especially if he took your break up hard.

In texting your ex, your main task is not dramatize, cause no pity, but envy and admiration.

Let him bite all his elbows because he lost a gorgeous girl!

As you can see, the best way to offend a guy, challenge him to a dialogue, get an emotional response from him - to write to him without snotty rhymes about love, without hysterics and regrets about the past. Humor, indifference and restraint are three of the best ways to hurt a guy.

Video: Tactics of communication with men

Well, in order to interest a man, to please him, he needs to behave as naturally as possible, treat everything with humor, not impose and pour tons of negativity on him. If you follow these simple rules, then he will never leave you anywhere.