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How to please an interesting pen guy. Meeting in the real world. Tips to get a man interested by correspondence

Met a guy on the Internet and want to like him by correspondence? It couldn't be easier! We will tell you in detail how to correspond with a man, that he was crazy about you: how to put his Vkontakte page in order, what to write in his first message, the basic rules of correspondence on the Internet, competent written speech. Now your online acquaintances will always be successful!

We collect the necessary information

Before you write something to a guy you like, collect information about him. Go to his page in contact, look at all the available sections. Pay attention to whether all fields are filled in. If there are gaps, he is either secretive by nature, or he wants to be silent about something.

Maybe he wrote a whole poem about himself. Keep in mind: this is how the desire to attract attention is manifested, to show oneself better and more interesting than in reality.

Consider the photos and posts he posted. They will tell a lot not only about his artistic taste and talent as a photographer, but also about his hobbies, views, environment. The events attended, the films watched and the music listened to give food for thought: will joint leisure be good.

A lover of rock and motorcycles is unlikely in the future to want to patiently listen to your beloved Madonna or sit with you on the sofa watching a TV series. It is easier to get the attention of someone whose views are similar to your own.

We put in order our page in contact

Be prepared that he will also look at your page in VK. Evaluate it soberly yourself or ask those who will tell you the truth.

  • Remove your unsuccessful photos from the albums, from the wall - pictures with jokes below the belt and messages about all kinds of everyday nonsense.
  • Put a fresh photo on your profile picture showing you in the best possible light.
  • Add small comments to good photos either about an interesting place where you are captured, or about your mood at the time of shooting.

Taking the first step towards

Prepare your boyfriend to interact more closely with you. For a start, you can limit yourself to a few "likes". Don't write private messages right away. Comment on what you see on the page or in his albums. In the comments, make it clear that you like what you saw. Express your impressions of the photo or post on the wall. Wait for his reaction. Perhaps he will be interested and take the first step himself.

What to write to a guy you like

Not every guy immediately realizes that he has already interested a girl. Take the first step yourself.

So, we write a personal message. Forget about messages like “Good afternoon! How are you?" They have already set the teeth on edge. The guy will think that you are one of those girls who like to have empty conversations, to distract. The conversation may never take place.

Make a more original move. Find something that interests both of you and make that a starting point.

  • Write what you saw in his album a landscape that seemed familiar to you. Ask if you guessed the place, if he enjoyed the trip.
  • We saw that he writes about walking a dog - admit that you are also a keen dog lover, ask if it is easy for him to get up for a morning walk with a pet.
  • Noticed on the page a track with a song you know well - tell them that you have loved these musicians for a long time, ask if he ever attended their live performances.

You can cheat a little, exaggerate your interest, but it must be there. Simulating in a relationship is a thankless task.

After finding out what he is well versed in, ask for help in this area. He will be pleased to prove himself competent and generous in support. For example:

  • Ask him questions about a small problem with his car if he is interested in cars.
  • Ask for an explanation of why your parquet floor squeaks, if he is a specialist in interior decoration.

You can also ask questions about what he likes. Give the guy the opportunity to talk about topics that he pleases. This will awaken his sympathy for you.

Do you want to receive detailed step-by-step instructions on how to meet men on the Internet correctly? We advise you to read free checklist Alexei Chernozem "How to build relationships on the Internet and translate them into happy real ones." You will learn how to create an attractive image on the Internet, where to start dating and how to transfer them from the Internet to the real plane.

The book is free. To download, click on this link, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the pdf-file.

Ask for his opinion on the phenomena of life. Listen carefully to his answers: from them you can understand whether you fit into his world, whether your value systems are similar.

Here are some questions to ask your new Internet friend to keep the conversation going and get to know him better.

Literacy at altitude

Competent written speech is a sign of respect for the interlocutor. Do not make him understand the incoherent jumble of words and letters. Conduct your correspondence correctly!

This does not mean that you have to sit and check everything written thoroughly with a spelling dictionary. It is enough to minimize the most common mistakes in your messages:

  1. Remember punctuation marks more often, use them appropriately. A stream of consciousness without commas and periods is good for the classics of modernism, but don't make the guy guess how to understand your "execution cannot be pardoned".
  2. Avoid overusing ellipsis. Don't substitute them for other punctuation marks. Such a text looks like the speech of an inhibited person, with difficulty collecting his thoughts.
  3. A message written in caps (caps) is often perceived as a cry. It is extremely bad form to write whole phrases in capsicum.
  4. An excess of exclamation marks is also evil. For a short message about something out of the ordinary, such a design is suitable, but not for constant communication. Each phrase with an exclamation mark (or three) at the end gives the impression of hysterical screams of a person who cannot control his emotions.
  5. The requirement to put a full stop at the end of a sentence in Internet communication is gradually disappearing. It is permissible to send in chat or SMS a response from one phrase without a dot, this happens more and more often in the Internet community. And the interlocutor will guess that the phrase is over. However, in more lengthy statements, it is still necessary to separate sentences with dots.
  6. Use only words and terms whose meanings you know exactly. If you have at least a minute before writing an answer, do not be lazy to send a request to a search engine and check yourself.

A few more helpful tips in this video:

Praise and accept compliments

  1. Rude compliments evoke rejection, and skillful praise finds its way to the heart. Point out what he considers himself to be the most talented, successful, and from time to time express sincere admiration for his achievements. Learn more about how to properly compliment guys.
  2. After receiving a compliment from him, do not be lame. There is no need to report that yesterday your wonderful hairdo was like a broom, and your nails looked like a dragon's. Calmly thank him, tell him that you are pleased with his attention.
  3. Don't reveal all the secrets. If he praised the charlotte in the photo, there is no need to make excuses, they say, she blinded from what was. Mention in passing that this is a family recipe. Your grandmother taught you, but you will not tell him why the cake is so lush and aromatic. Better to try it himself someday and try to guess. So you give a hint that you want not only to correspond, but also to meet.

Want to chat with a Vkontakte guy, but don't know what to write in your first message? Doubting whether to write first? We will dispel your doubts and suggest some ideas for an original and unobtrusive first message.

Should I write first?

Discussions on this topic have been going on for several years. Some say - a man should show his spirit of a conqueror, and he should not be hindered in this. Others - it's okay to start a conversation on a social network yourself, especially if the guy does not know about your existence.

The correct answer to this question lies somewhere in the middle and depends on each specific situation: if a person is interesting and you really want to start communicating with him, it is better to write. In the end, it's better to do something and then regret it than not to do it and regret the missed opportunity.

Let's start a conversation

When the decision to write is made, the question arises of where to start communication after all. A close study of the profile on Vkontakte of a potential chosen one will come to the rescue. Pay attention to the following metrics.

Mutual friends

Carefully study the list of friends of the target of your attention. It may turn out that you have mutual friends or you know indirectly through each other's friends. This can be a good conversation starter. Just do not gossip about mutual acquaintances under any circumstances!

Place of work or study

It may well be that you have found a profile of this person in the community dedicated to your place of work or study. Having shared memories and themes is already a great reason to start a conversation.

Similar interests, hobbies

A large number of Vkontakte users indicate interests in their profile. Or you can guess about them just by looking at the entire content of the young man's page: video, music, posts. It is likely that the interests will coincide with yours. This can be a great start for communication.

General groups

It will not be superfluous to study the list of communities in which the prospective chosen one is. It is possible that you are in the same or similar groups with him.

We write the first message

When the page has been examined and a strategy for writing a message has been chosen, tactical actions are necessary. It's hard to resist the familiar “Hello. How are you? ”, But this is still not recommended. You need to start creatively, brightly and unusually. So there is a much higher chance that you will receive a reply message. Here are some examples for starting Vkontakte dating.

One-size-fits-all approach:

  • "Hey! Do you meet on Vkontakte? "
  • "Good day! Do you mind getting to know each other? "
  • "Hey! How do you feel about dating on the Internet? "

Such phrases immediately show your intentions, stimulate feedback.

Unobtrusive flirting:

  • "Hey! I'm going to discover new musical directions. Would you like some great music for a Friday night? "
  • "Good evening! I'm going to watch a movie. Anything worth watching? "
  • "Hey! I had a free day, I'm going to go to an exhibition (to the theater, to the cinema, to a concert). Tell me what you should pay attention to? "

As a rule, such proposals are written to familiar people. In the case of strangers, the effect of surprise is triggered. At the very least, such a message will be read. If you have not been lazy yet, but have studied closely the interests of a man and in your address indirectly indicated topics that are fascinating to him, the likelihood of feedback is high.

Maximum honesty:

  • "Hey! Found your page on Vkontakte. You seemed to me a very interesting person. Let's try to chat? "
  • "Good day! It seems that you are a very interesting interlocutor, and now I really miss communication. Let's try to make an acquaintance? In the end, neither I nor you lose anything from this "

Having started communication like this, you will immediately indicate the purpose of your interest. And in response, you will receive a message only on the case, excluding all kinds of innuendo and guesswork.

Interest conversation:

Such messages will immediately attract attention, since they stimulate the guy to talk about a topic that is close and understandable to him, and even with a person who shares his interests.

He replied. What to write next

So, the goal is achieved: the young man read the message and answered it. From his reaction, it will be clear what to write next and whether it needs to be done.

If the guy said that he does not meet or he has a girlfriend - alas. You just need to apologize and not write to him again. Even if you are sure that you will be the best half for him. Believe me, you will definitely find your happiness.

If the man answered your questions, moreover, he asked you something, you can be sure: you are interested in him. Support this interest. Here's how to do it.

You can find out what kind of questions the guys on VK like to answer from this video:

And do not forget to talk about yourself: men do not like it when only they speak. Although excessive talkativeness and self-centeredness are also not working ways to attract the attention of a penpalier on Vkontakte.

Men are conquerors by nature. If he liked you, he will let you know. And it will be noticeable.
If not - well, the person is simply not "your". Don't be discouraged. Yours is sure to be found.

5 ways to successfully start a conversation with a guy on Vkontakte was last modified: March 23rd, 2018 by Armina

Don't know how to approach a nice guy and start a conversation with him? Do you lack courage? Here are some simple tips on how to do it.

Steps

How to start a conversation

    Introduce yourself. The most direct way to start a conversation with a young person is to walk up to him and introduce yourself. It doesn't matter if he is a new kid at work, a handsome student in the lecture hall, or a handsome stranger in a café - straighten your shoulders, smile, and walk up to him with confidence. Say “Hi,” then introduce yourself and ask his name.

    • Once you know the guy's name, try to use it often in conversation. People love to hear their name. It also makes the conversation more personal and creates a sense of closeness between you.
    • Tell him something like: "Hello! My name is Olya, how are you?" Simple and effective!

  1. Take advantage of the circumstances around you. One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is to take advantage of the circumstances around you. It can be anything: the weather, the schedule of lessons, the result of a sports game. You can ask him what he thinks about, for example, heavy rain or extra steam, or comment on the situation yourself and wait for his answer.

    • Talking about the weather may seem too mundane to start a conversation, but it works. Try saying something like "What a great day, huh?" The purpose of this phrase is simple - to start a conversation. Once you've started talking to each other, start talking about more interesting topics.
    • If you are sitting next to a nice guy on a train or bus, try to take a breath and say, as if to yourself, about late transport or ticket prices. If you are interesting to him, then he will take it as an invitation to talk and agree with you. The main thing is to get his attention.

  2. Ask him for help. Men love to help women. They are biologically attuned to it. So a little game of “girl urgently needs help” can help you start a conversation. Call on his masculinity and muscle strength to help him gain confidence and make him feel more comfortable with you, which will allow the conversation to flow more freely.

    • If you are struggling with a heavy pile of files or a bulky box, then ask him to help you. Tell him that you cannot open a can of coffee or unscrew the cap of a water bottle.
    • Remember to smile and thank him after he helps you. Everyone wants to hear words of gratitude when they do a good deed.
    • One word of warning: don't overdo it. You just need his attention, so don't play the girl who needs help too often.

  3. Praise him. Guys love compliments as much as girls. Be sincere. Complimenting him is the best way to start a conversation. How to compliment depends on how confident you feel.

    • If you feel confident then compliment his amazing eyes or his Brad Pete smile. He will understand that you find him physically attractive, which is what all guys love.
    • If you're trying to be a little less obvious, then compliment his suit, tie, or cologne. Thus, you will praise its excellent taste.
    • Praise his performance or play on the sports field. Tell him that he did a good job on his presentation or that he played just fine. He will know that you paid special attention to him.
    • Also, if you come across him on the street walking his dog, then praise the dog. Or tell him that you approve of his choice of a sandwich for lunch. Any situation will do that makes him talk.

  4. Ask him a question. Questions are great for starting conversations, especially if you're feeling a little uncomfortable. The questions themselves can be simple, but try to avoid those questions that can be answered with a short yes or no. Everyone can get embarrassed, and as a result, the conversation can simply fizzle out.

    • Ask questions in such a way that he was forced to think what to answer you, or, at least, gave more than a monosyllabic answer. Men can sometimes "slow down" a little, so try to help them a little. He will soon realize that you are more interested in him than in how to get to Red Square.
    • Ask him for a pen for a minute, or find out if he watched a soccer game last night. You need his attention to start a conversation, so don't worry about not understanding football.

How to get him to keep talking

  1. Find common interest. The search for common interests is the basis for conducting a dialogue. If you find a topic that you both love to talk about, then the conversation will flow much easier. Even if you don't know something, show your interest by asking him questions and letting him speak.

    • For example, if you both love Russian rock, then find out his favorite band, favorite guitarist, etc. We are sure you will not be able to stop him, and he will probably think that you are a pretty cool girl, since you are interested.
    • His clothes, objects on the desk, books will hint to you about his interests. If he has a photograph on his monitor where he is holding a pike in his hands, then it is likely that he loves fishing. Pay attention to the little details that will help you choose the right topic for conversation.

  2. Ask him open-ended questions. They are needed to continue the conversation. Avoid questions that can be answered in one word, or that he will answer automatically without hesitation.

    • For example, don't start the conversation with the phrase "How are you?" Instead, ask him what he did this past weekend or what he thinks about the new boss. Such questions will make him think about the answer.
    • Alternatively, you can ask him an "or / or" question to start a fun discussion. Ask him if he prefers Real Boys or Univer, rock or hip-hop, English or computer science teacher. Try to jokingly chide him for the choice to make him laugh.

  3. Listen more than you speak. Conversational etiquette requires you to listen more than you speak. This is why you have two ears and only one mouth, right? Therefore, try to really listen to him during the conversation. By the way, if you've never noticed this, guys tend to like the sound of their own voices.

    • Even when you are silent, let him know that you are interested. Show it with a smile, nod, or gesture.
    • Being a good listener during your conversation will do two things: first, you will make a good impression on the guy, and second, you will see if he is really worth the time spent on him.
    • By listening to what he has to say, you can get a pretty good idea of ​​his personality. You can then decide whether to meet with him further. If you do not find it interesting now, then you will not find it more interesting in the future.

  4. Ask him interesting questions. So that he does not consider you uninteresting, ask him questions that will be interesting to him and make him think. From such questions, he will begin to think about you long before the end of the conversation.

    • For example, ask him questions such as "If you could visit anywhere in the world now, where would you go?" or "If a fire started in your house, what three things would you save?" or "If you were a fictional character, who would you be?" These questions will make him smile, and his answers will better reveal his inner world.
    • Or you can get serious and ask him questions like "Have you ever been in love?" Or "What do you regret the most?"
    • Please note that these are not the questions you ask when you come up and start a conversation, otherwise the young man will think that you are some kind of abnormal. These questions are best left for later, when the initial awkwardness has passed, maybe after a few drinks.

  5. Discuss pop culture. Talking about popular culture is an old and reliable means of continuing a conversation. Every person, regardless of their interests, will have something to say about movies, music, television shows, books, or the names that crazy celebrities give their kids. Once you get an idea of ​​what his interests are, you can ask him what he thinks about a movie, whether he has read this or that book or whether he has heard the new album of a popular band.

    • Also ask him for his opinion on the aspect of pop culture in which he considers himself an expert. Guys love to show their vast knowledge, especially to an interested audience.
    • For example, if he loves Woody Allen's films, and you have never watched any of his films, then ask the young man from which film you should start getting acquainted with the work of this director. Maybe you'd better watch this movie together?
    • Or perhaps both of you are interested in something that not everyone is interested in. Impress him with your knowledge of 70s French punk rock bands or playing a popular PC game. He may start to think that you are the one he has been looking for all his life.

  6. End on a high note. You need to know when to gracefully bow out. Always leave him wanting more. After a particularly funny joke or story, you should say goodbye to him. Tell him you need to go back to work or be home already. Hopefully he'll be sorry about you leaving and look forward to another opportunity to speak with you.

    • If you feel like everything went well and you really like this guy (even more than before), then invite him to meet sometime after work for a cup of coffee. If you are embarrassed to say it out loud, then do as girls do in the movies - shove him your number written on a piece of paper.
    • Before you leave, you should look the guy right in the eyes, smile and say, "I was glad to talk to you, ______ (insert his name here)." He will remember this phrase much better than "See you later."

Give the right signals

  1. Smile and laugh. Guys are more attracted to happy, laughing and smiling girls than gloomy and frowning divas. And this is a fact. The young person will feel more comfortable with you and will be more open to you. Laughing at his jokes will greatly boost his ego, which in turn will make him feel good and make you look even more attractive.

Every lady wants to see next to her a loving, educated, intelligent and kind life partner, who knows how to provide his wife and children with a decent comfortable life. Often, among our everyday environment, there are either no such men at all, or there are, but they have been reliably busy for a long time. Judge for yourself, what percentage of the fact that a businessman prince will end up in the accounting department of an average sales company or in a branded lingerie boutique, or in a specialized children's library? Of course, there are also such jobs that provide an opportunity for necessary and fruitful acquaintances, however, unfortunately, in general, most women do not have the opportunity to communicate with worthy men every day.
But don't despair! Here the 21st century comes to our aid - the century of all kinds of information resources and developed social Internet communications.

Pros of finding a soul mate on the Internet

1. Unlike everyday life, with its frantic rhythm and many issues that need to be resolved, “life on the Internet” is a kind of invented, utopian world. Here, a person can completely relax, moving away from the daily hustle and bustle and plunge into the romantic dreams of their dreams.

Important: doctors of psychiatry, who conducted a study of the human psyche in various emotional states, proved that it was in this state of consciousness (complete detachment from the outside world, immersion in utopian reality) that courtesans of all times and peoples immersed men in order to then, using this special a state of consciousness, to convince the latter to fulfill their desires and sacrifice any means they need.

2. Men who have come to the decision to look for a soul mate on the Internet are colossally different from other males in that they have clearly defined for themselves the purpose of their searches.

Important: according to family psychologists, a man who has made a conscious decision to start a family becomes an “easy target” for the fair sex. A woman does not need to be smart in methods, develop schemes for "taking the fortress", spend months and years trying to push such a man to formalize the relationship. He is already subconsciously and consciously ready for this. It remains only to behave correctly, so as not to push him away during the first few dates and ... business, as they say, "in the hat."

3. Internet communication can save you a huge amount of your personal time. Getting acquainted on the Internet, with certain skills, you will learn to define "who is in front of you" from the first letters. You will have the opportunity to immediately weed out unnecessary candidates and, in the end, you will find exactly the one that suits you, answering all your requirements for an ideal husband.

Important: psychologists recommend online dating, stipulating that when communicating with men on the Internet, a woman has the opportunity to calmly weigh, think over every word she "said". In a relaxed home environment, ponder your answers to his letters and, as a result, make the right choice to continue or end the relationship with this person.

Now that we have found out that Internet communication is still our ally, let's talk about how we can communicate with online men so that with each subsequent letter they more and more want to turn online communication into real.

“It was raining like a bucket, the raging wind played with passers-by, tearing off the hoods from their heads and“ straightening ”the hairstyles of the disgruntled ladies. December has entered its legal phase.

We met with Lara in the city center. Fleeing from the rain, we settled in a nearby pizzeria. Gathering wet red strands in a bun, Lara, without waiting for my questions, began her story.

I have been living in the States for 6 years now. To be honest, I like everything. A loving spouse, a decent standard of living, an interesting job, - she admitted, lighting a cigarette.
- Lara, I know that you met your spouse thanks to the Internet. Tell me, how did you manage to make him choose you from a huge list of smart beauties? - I opened a battered notebook that had never attended such a meeting with me.
- In what now seems so distant 2006, after the divorce, I was left alone. My husband left me nothing but my 5-year-old son and tons of regret about the past years. Coming to my senses after 7 months, I realized that everything in my life depends only on me. By registering on a dating site with foreigners, I again felt like a desirable woman. Of course, I also came across unworthy candidates, but I learned to filter them out right away. A year later, Michael wrote to me, - tenderness slipped through Lara's eyes. After a moment, she continued.
- After looking through his profile, I realized that this is exactly the man I have been waiting for all my life. He was 35 and worked as a neurosurgeon at the New York Regional Hospital. Never married. And, of course, his photo was something. A tall brunette with a deep, mesmerizing look ... He was handsome, - a light, subtle blush flashed on Lara's perfectly powdered face.
“Having quickly assessed the situation, I made every effort to make this man mine. Three months later, he flew to me in Dnepropetrovsk. Six months later, we formalized our relationship. After a year of paperwork, I moved in with him. Michael accepted my son. He is a worthy father. I am happily married.

Lara, what are the main seduction techniques you used in online communication? What can you advise our readers to do and what not to do to achieve the best result in online seduction? - I asked the long-awaited question.
“The first secret is intrigue,” she admitted.


1. Intrigue

Literal translation from lat. "Intrico" - "I confuse" - achieving a goal by manipulating another person.
Intriguing a man means arousing his curiosity through intentional or unintentional omissions, omissions or ambiguous hints.
A woman who knows how to correctly intrigue at the beginning of a relationship will always be desirable for a man.
- The second secret, which I successfully used, is called - psychological association, - continued the confession of Lara.



2. Psychological association Association is the memory of consciousness about the received sensations, from the events experienced once.
Asking a man about happy moments in his life, we evoke pleasant associations in him. Subsequently, such shenanigans, we ourselves begin to evoke pleasant associations in his mind, regardless of what we talk to him about.
- The next secret leading to success with the male sex is flirting, - my educator smiled coquettishly.


3. Flirting

Flirting from lat. "Florem" is a welcome flower. Flirting is an attention-getting demeanor. An intellectual game in which, with the help of words, gestures, facial expressions, glances, one person arouses sexual interest in another. Flirting consists of four main parts: play, sincerity, improvisation, intrigue. Then comes passion, independence, quick reaction, breadth of knowledge, humor and a visible indifference to the result.
A lady who knows the intricacies of flirting always gets a huge privilege from men over other "ordinary" women.
- The fourth secret of seduction is the ability to be unobtrusive, - shared Lara.


4. Self-sufficiency and unobtrusiveness

Interestingly, according to the results of social surveys of the male population of the planet for 2015, the most important criterion for an ideal woman is unobtrusiveness. Consequently, the prehistoric roots of the male conqueror affect modern gentlemen.
The ability to be unobtrusive is a woman's ability to turn communication with a man in such a way that the initiative supposedly comes from him. The whole principle is built on the usual male instinct to conquer.
A woman who knows how to be unobtrusive makes a man feel like a knight, which subsequently pushes him to exploits.
- The fifth and important secret of seduction is emotion, - Lara winked at me.


5. Emotion Emotion from lat. "Emoveo" - amaze, excitement. This is a mental process of short duration, reflecting the sensations from real or fictional situations.
A person's consciousness is arranged in such a way that he does not remember well the events that did not evoke emotions in him. But one has only to evoke strong positive or negative emotions in a person's mind, he will remember this for the rest of his life.
Women who know how to evoke strong emotions in men are remembered throughout their lives. These are fatal women.

The sixth and last secret of seduction of virtual or real men is, of course, physical attractiveness, - added Lara, asking for the bill.


6. Physical attractiveness

Physical attraction is a natural or artificially created state of the physical body that attracts the opposite sex.
According to men, the following factors are attractive in a woman:
1. Long, pleasant to the touch, shiny hair
2. Smooth matte skin
3. Perfect, done on time, epilation
4. Well-groomed handles
5. Availability of manicure and pedicure
6. Grace in movement
7. Discreet makeup
8. Clothing style
9. Athletic body

Each lady is an actress by nature, subconsciously able to intrigue, flirt, evoke various emotions and associations in the male population of the planet. One has only to reveal the talents given by nature, and you will see how your life will be filled with male attention and compliments.