Forgive the person who betrayed you. Is it worth it to forgive the betrayal of loved ones. What does resentment lead to?

23.05.2019

“I don’t know what will happen to me if you stop loving me! I'll probably die!" - loud and familiar to many words that people in love, young and not very young married couples say to each other. Beautiful vows, promises of eternal love, delicious breakfasts, warm evenings with tea... And suddenly everything stops. And you realize that a person dear to your heart has betrayed you.

Betrayal is, of course, the strongest blow to both pride and fine mental organization, but still it is not fatal. Lack of oxygen, insane resentment, the desire to immediately hurt a loved one a day ago as well. Many are familiar with this feeling. After some time, a person tired of grief faces several questions: is it possible to survive betrayal and how to do it, forgive or not forgive betrayal, how to live on. We'll figure out.

Is it possible to survive betrayal and how to do it?

If this question nevertheless arose before you, then it is possible that the same youthful maximalism speaks in you. Of course you can survive. Everything is real, believe me. It is very painful, I understand you, but life does not end there.

Accept the situation. What's done is done, don't overdo it. A person accidentally or intentionally stumbled. Yes, and so that you know about it. Don't think about it, don't try to understand, analyze. Thinking about this act of a loved one will drag you further to the bottom of depression.

Allow yourself a few days to be an unhappy person. Emotions must have an outlet. Without resorting to alcohol and other harmful things. Beat dishes, cut curtains, tear photos, scream, sob, talk to loved ones, demanding support, you need it now.

Take a break. You need to find something to your liking, change the environment, perhaps change the style of clothing, hairstyle, hair color, even eyes (lenses).

Don't get locked up. Chat with friends and relatives, make new acquaintances. The four walls in the house are the most ungrateful advisers, especially if everything in this house reminds of the good old days.

Recognize the fact that the person is not dead. Still can be changed. It’s only worth tearing your hair on your head when patches of earth fall on the lid of the coffin, and until that moment any situation can be resolved.

So we come to the question of whether it is possible to forgive betrayal and how to restore trust.

How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one?

Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers said this: "The sword does not cut a guilty head." A man came with repentance, forgive him.

Is it worth it to forgive? Another thing is whether you want to maintain any relationship with this person in the future. It all depends on the situation. There are millions of scenarios for such a conflict.

You have been together for many years. Your soulmate goes to the left, and you will know about it. Whether the person told you on his own or you learned from girlfriends, friends, from the lover (or lover) himself - it does not matter. The very fact, deceit was revealed. A loved one apologizes, asks for another chance, or asks for forgiveness, but reports that this was an absolutely balanced decision and the novel can be completed on that. The main thing is honesty.

If you experience deep feelings even after this news, it makes sense to try to build new relationships, forgetting about this situation and never remembering it, because it will not bring good to anyone, and it can easily destroy you, first of all. Forgiveness is the lot of strong people. Without figuring out how, with whom, just forgive and forget, continue to live and love.

If your soul mate announces a break in relations, but there is a fire in your soul, you are not ready to leave, then you will have to remember the folk wisdom: “You won’t be forced to be nice.” Forgive and let go. This is the way out. No need to fall at your feet, beg, put pressure on your conscience. The person has already decided everything, accept his decision and let him go. The main thing is not to harbor anger and resentment. It won't be easy, but you can do it. In this way, you can prepare your heart for a new relationship.

Unfortunately, a person by nature is very weak, and everyone can turn in the wrong direction. The most difficult question that can arise: how to restore trust? If you managed to forgive, save your family, your feelings, then the thought of relapse will still live somewhere subconsciously. Books and the Internet are replete with statements: “I betrayed once, I will betray again!”, “People do not change!” etc. Don't think about it, don't read bad advice. Let go of the situation. If you managed not to destroy the world after the news of the betrayal, to save love, then live it today, tomorrow ... No need to guess ahead.

There is an interesting technique. Think back to your childhood and your parents. A broken cup caused anger or sadness, but this did not make you a nobody in the life of your loved ones. And maybe mom hid the cups higher, fearing a repetition of the situation, but you also tried not to upset your beloved parent anymore.

What is the most painful thing for a person? Probably, there can be many answers to this question - we are all very different. But nevertheless, few things cause such pain as a close (or seemed so for a while) person. Yes, yes, just a close one, after all, most likely, today they are familiar with such a common proverb: "They always betray their own." Of course, our own - because how can strangers betray? We did not hope for them, we did not trust them, we did not reveal our heart secrets, we did not think about them and about ourselves as parts of a single whole.

And yours ... How hard it is when you are faced with deceit from someone whom you seemed to completely trust. Or you find out that your friend is in league with your enemies against you. Or you suddenly find out that he is aiming for your place, intriguing, slandering, playing a dishonest and dishonest game ...

It's not that "our" has the ability to hit in the back - we rarely let strangers into the rear ... Not that he can inflict maximum damage. Something else is much more important. It seems that the earth is slipping away from under your feet, it even becomes unclear how to live on, if this is the case here...

“Do not rely on princes, on the sons of men, in whom there is no salvation” (Ps. 145, 3). And again: “Cursed is everyone who trusts in man” (Jer. 17:5). And again: “It is good to trust in the Lord than to trust in man; it is good to trust in the Lord rather than trust in princes” (Ps. 117:8-9).

But after all, they already hoped, they already cried out. And now they were not just disappointed, deceived, namely that they were subjected to a curse! And how to cope with the feelings that overwhelm us, how to heal heart wounds, how, in the end, to forgive?! After all, the Lord certainly expects from us that we reconcile ourselves internally - both with what happened and with people, so that neither dejection, depression, nor bitterness, nor bitterness remain in us.

It seems to me that in such cases we almost always make the same mistake, which, of course, is based on our wrong attitude towards our “I”. Where does this feeling - betrayal come from? From there, it is likely that we previously believed that we are connected with a person by those relations that impose certain obligations on us and on him. But in fact - do we have the right to demand from him - another - the same thing that we demand from ourselves? From myself - please! But from the other - no. This is not a business, not a contractual relationship with the signing of a pile of papers, stamps and seals. This is a living life in which we must act according to our Christian conscience and not be arbiters in relation to the conscience of others.

And why do we generally perceive what a person does, necessarily as having to do with us? He, most likely, thinks of us least of all. He thinks about himself - about his circumstances, problems, interests, needs, and so on. He does not set himself the goal of betraying us, hurting us, annoying us, hurting us, he simply does what is more convenient and profitable for him, that's all.

We are bitter from what we are experiencing as uncomfortable in our souls ... But it would be nice to figure it out all the same - why exactly. If because we were betrayed, we were not faithful, that is, do we really have reason to demand this fidelity and condemn the one in whom it was not found? Perhaps not: people are not faithful to God, what can we say about us. If, however, it is bitter that they were deceived in a person, they thought of him better than he turned out to be, and now they recognize him and seem to have lost him, then well ... He is free to be what he wants, and we can only step aside, but again, no judgment.

Is it difficult? Not that word! So much so that in general it is rarely possible to immediately tune in and act in such a way. Difficult, but possible - with the help of Him Who so often forgives true betrayal and apostasy, including ours. And if you do not intentionally poison the wound in the heart, do not turn it into a slowly, painfully eating away at it, but resort to an infinite number of times Betrayed and Abandoned, but who betrays and leaves no one, then He, of course, will teach us how from this troubles and sorrows benefit for your soul. And more than that - how to approach Him through this, to become at least a little like, at least a little related ...

The betrayal of a loved one is the hardest blow for any woman. In one second, the world is turned upside down and filled with black colors. A new range of emotions covers a woman with her head: pain, rage, resentment, disappointment. In this state, it is easy to "break a lot of firewood" and make irreparable mistakes. But stop, pull yourself together and think, is it possible to forgive betrayal?

"A Sound of Thunder!"

Every woman is different. Some have long suspected the faithful of all sins and finally find convincing evidence of treason. Others learn about everything thanks to a random SMS, and for others, the news of a betrayal becomes completely unexpected. In any case, this realization is a huge stress for a woman, which she does not always manage to cope with.

post-traumatic mental disorder

On the Holmes and Ray stress scale, infidelity is equated to the death of one of the spouses. It is these emotions that overwhelm a deceived woman. Before she regains her ability to think soberly and make informed decisions, she must go through five stages of accepting the situation:

Shock. At this stage, it seems to a woman that everything that happened to her is someone's ridiculous fiction, and even direct evidence of infidelity cannot make her believe in her husband's betrayal.
Deal. At this stage, women make the most mistakes. They begin to perform many mutually exclusive actions in the hope of returning everything "as it was before."
Aggression. The anger caused by the betrayal of her husband must inevitably have its way out. At this moment, noisy scandals begin with breaking dishes and mutual accusations. It was during this period that the deceived woman says with all her actions: "You betrayed me and it hurts me!"
Sadness. This stage is characterized by long and painful memories of a happy past before the appearance of a rival. A woman becomes inert, looks at photographs for a long time and reacts painfully to her friends' stories about her marital happiness.
Reconciliation. The woman comes to terms with the situation, and her first thoughts begin to visit whether it is worth forgiving her husband's betrayal. She begins to weigh the pros and cons, trying to somehow plan her future life. It is at this stage that you can start negotiations with your husband and try to establish a life together.

How long does PTSD last?

Professional psychologists advise not to make radical decisions until all five stages have passed. For each woman, they last a different period of time. It depends on the age, upbringing and social status of the lady. On average, the journey from "shock" to "reconciliation" takes about three months, which is best spent away from an unfaithful husband. Unnecessary quarrels and scandals will only exacerbate an already difficult state of affairs. You should not approach serious changes in life, guided by resentment and emotions.

Love and betrayal: a female look

Psychologically, it is very difficult for a woman to understand the reason for infidelity, and she plunges into the abyss of soul-searching in search of the culprit. In this process, she can make many mistakes that will significantly affect her self-esteem and her future life. So, what happens to a woman who knows about her husband's betrayal:

A woman with irresistible force strives to see her rival with at least one eye. This should not be done under any pretext. Visualizing a rival will only aggravate the state of depression and longing in which the deceived wife is immersed. Think about it, if the opponent turns out to be younger, more beautiful and more successful, what blow to your ego will this cause? Psychologists note that the image of a rival is practically imprinted in the mind of a woman, and she begins to cultivate shortcomings in herself (obvious or imaginary), causing self-pity from her husband and friends. To get out of this state, she will need many months of careful work on herself. Most likely, the help of a professional psychoanalyst will be needed.
The woman blames herself for everything that happened. Most often, such a reaction occurs in women with the psychotype of the victim. The deceived wife seeks to correct the situation and become several times better than her rival. She extinguishes the anger caused by betrayal, and activates the functions of the mother, mistress and mistress, bringing them almost to perfection. Unfortunately, this path cannot help a woman survive the betrayal of her husband, and after a while she comes to the stage of aggression. In particularly difficult cases, the suppression of anger can lead the deceived woman to the clinic of neuroses, quite often neuroses provoke the appearance of other diseases, such as ulcers and cancer.
Overly emotional persons throw out all their pain on a man. They see only him as the culprit of the betrayal that happened and in every possible way remind him of what happened. Unfortunately, a woman is not able to think rationally at such moments, and with her behavior she repels her husband. After a while, when emotions subside, a woman can understand that the family is already lost and the man made the final decision by choosing a rival.

It is worth noting that any reaction of a woman to her husband's betrayal is a normal and natural attempt to survive the situation. The main thing is that a woman should allow herself to throw out negative emotions and approach the solution of the problem with a sober head. If for six months she cannot cope with her emotions and her husband's betrayal still causes uncontrollable anger in her, it is necessary to contact a specialist who will help her approach the stage of "reconciliation" with the betrayal that has happened.

Why is he changing?

A clear understanding of the mechanism of male infidelity plays an important role in solving the problem of betrayal. For a woman, love and betrayal are absolutely incompatible things. A loving wife will always be faithful to her man and accept him with all his flaws. The male psyche is arranged differently, and various factors can serve as the cause of infidelity.

After analyzing the situation, because of which the man betrayed her, the woman can come to the beginning of the search for a way out of this difficult conflict. Most often there are only two ways:

accepting the situation and continuing to live together by virtue of character, then be prepared for a repetition of the situation, but a single betrayal provoked by problems in the family will most likely never happen again);
preparation of documents for divorce.

Whatever the reason for the betrayal, before saying "You betrayed me!" and make a fateful decision, it is required to consider the problem from several sides.

Notice of change

Before deciding on a divorce, it is worth analyzing how the news of the betrayal came to the family. Of course, it is necessary to start such an analysis after all emotions subside, and only if the woman has come close to the moment of making a decision. There are a great many options for learning about betrayal, but two of them clearly indicate that a man does not want to ruin his family and break off relations with his wife:

Deliberately ostentatious evidence of treason. In some cases, men deliberately do everything to be caught by their other half. They leave pages on social networks open, put in a prominent place a phone with intimate correspondence or a receipt from the store. All these actions have as their goal only one thing - to show the wife that her urgent intervention and changes in the family are required.
Conversation with a partner. Many women learn about the betrayal of the faithful from the rival herself. She may call or come to a meeting to share the details of her whirlwind romance. You should not show your emotions and immediately break off relations with your husband. Most often, it is precisely this reaction that the opponent hopes for. As practice shows, she is pushed to such an act by the fruitless expectation of decisive action on the part of her lover. A man refuses to leave the family and continues his relationship with his wife, so the decision to open your eyes to infidelity becomes the only way to provoke your wife into a divorce from an unfaithful spouse.

If you found out about the betrayal in any of the above ways, then you have every chance to save the marriage and start all over again.

Preparing for an important conversation

A conversation with an unfaithful husband requires a woman to have maximum preparation and tension of the nervous system. Keep in mind that during the conversation, some "pitfalls" may come up that you need to be prepared for:

cheating on a husband is not always a betrayal (many men do not consider physical betrayal a good reason to destroy a family);
denial of one's guilt (quite often men instinctively shift responsibility for what happened onto the shoulders of their wives and mistresses);
refusal to have a serious heart-to-heart talk.

Remember that a surge of negative emotions will have a detrimental effect on communication with your husband, try not only to express your grievances, but also to hear his explanations. Do not try to play any role, it will not lead to a good result. Talk about your resentment, pain, disappointment, but do it calmly and as detachedly as possible. Don't be afraid to ask your husband questions and hear the answers. Perhaps this conversation will clarify many points in your family that you did not even notice before. Ideally, an honest and open conversation should tell you how to live after your husband's betrayal.

The beginning of the exit from the crisis

If a heart-to-heart conversation took place and you still decided to save your relationship, then be prepared for a long and hard work. First of all, listen to your feelings. What would you like? How do you dream of building your life? What needs to be changed? husband and start over? Most likely, you will not find answers to these questions right away. And, believe me, you will never find it alone. You need to be in close contact with your husband, voicing all your emotions and desires. Many couples who successfully survived this stage noted that they had never been as close to each other before as after betrayal. For most of them, the appearance of a mistress has become an incentive for serious and positive changes in family life.

How to get rid of a rival?

Usually, after accepting the situation and deciding to save the family, a woman expects the situation with her rival to resolve itself. But, unfortunately, the lovebird does not disappear anywhere, and the woman finds herself in a new circle of grievances and claims. Many wives give an ultimatum and every day remind their husband of their nobility and his guilt before the family. This situation brings the couple to a new round of conflict, which often leads to the separation of the spouses. How to behave in this situation? How to trust a husband after betrayal? How to make sure that the rival has disappeared forever from your life? Carefully observe the husband's behavior, most often he will compare two women in order to make a final decision. You should not be perfect and fearfully wait for a new day. Take care of yourself and stop worrying about your husband cheating. A woman who often leaves the house, takes care of her appearance and leaves free time for some activity that develops her personality, always arouses interest in a man. Feel free to leave your children with your husband and ask him to spend time with them. The more time your man gives to his family, the more negativity he will receive from his rival. As a result, the decision to save the family will seem to him the most faithful and the only correct one. Of course, trust in her husband will not be restored in a few days or even months. But here, visiting a family psychologist, reading special books, or buying audio lectures can help you. You will be surprised how many women have experienced this problem. Each answered the question of how to trust her husband after betrayal, and found her own ways to forgive her husband.

Summarizing all of the above, it is safe to say that cheating is not the end of a relationship. According to statistics, many families become even closer and stronger after experiencing betrayal. To save the family and rediscover yourself, psychologists advise you to carefully listen to the following recommendations:

be calm and self-confident, men cannot stand tears and violent tantrums;
analyze the motives of the spouse that pushed him to change;
your main weapon in the fight against a rival is humor, such a woman always remains out of competition;
throw out all your negativity, but when your spouse is not around;
forgive your husband, even if you decide to part with him, it will ease your soul and make you stronger;
know how to be responsible for the decision made (if you save the family, then exclude the accusations against the spouse);
ask your husband for help in overcoming always striving to be a knight and will do everything possible to regain your trust in him);
improve as a woman (every day strive to be better than yourself yesterday);
learn to be an interlocutor (do not just nod and agree with your husband, but really perceive his problems and troubles).

Be above the situation, and then betrayal will not become the element that in an instant will destroy the family carefully built by you to the ground.

How could she do this to me? And don't even apologize, don't ask for my forgiveness. And if she apologizes, will I be able to forgive her? Is it even possible to learn to forgive such grievances? Will I ever be able to forgive her and even reconcile with her. How to forgive betrayal and live with it?

Questions, questions, questions. An internal monologue that practically does not stop day or night. A monologue that absorbs the whole person. Consuming his whole life.

Is it possible to stop this endless stream of mental pain? Where can you find the strength to overcome all the hatred, resentment, pain and start thinking about something else? And are there any forces that can help turn off this rut of suffering, which sometimes already feels like a fulcrum. It gives the feeling that he is alive - which means that you can somehow live with it. And if you turn a little - suddenly it becomes even more painful? It's better that way. After all, this pain is already familiar.

And if the pain is unbearable - and you want to find an answer, how to relieve the pain and how to forgive and let go of resentment? And new questions arise. Is it possible to forgive betrayal and how to learn to forgive?

Are there any answers in psychology to the questions of how to learn to forgive insults for real? Is it possible to forgive in such a way that this feeling of resentment does not grow into revenge, hatred and aggression towards the offender? Or, on the contrary, it did not develop into self-flagellation for the fact that he himself is to blame for everything. To never return to such states of mind and experience all this pain.

How to learn to forgive the offender and is it possible to learn to forgive yourself if it seems that everything happened through your own fault, because of your own erroneous and inadequate reaction to the behavior of another person.

1. Find out who can be offended: after all, this is only given to the elect

The feeling that you have been betrayed is born of resentment. Resentment is not from the category of consciousness. Resentment is much deeper and more powerful: it is a manifestation of the psyche. Resentment is a strong suffering of the soul. Stronger than this suffering can only be a state of depression.

A person is not aware of this feeling, it passes by his awareness. A person can live his whole life and not even realize that he is experiencing a feeling of resentment. It's just hard for him to live. It's hard to breathe, it's hard to carry your body.

Not every person can experience this feeling - resentment. Such feelings can only be experienced by people who have an anal vector, according to the definition of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

Resentment manifests itself in these people in certain states. When they, due to various life situations, do not receive the proper development of their innate properties or do not have the opportunity to realize their abilities in life.

At birth, they are given properties, with the development of which they become the most faithful husbands / wives, the best dads / mothers. For them, there is nothing more important in life than loyalty and devotion, truth and justice, respect and honor. There is nothing more important than friendship, more important than home, family, wife/husband and children. They are homebodies - it is difficult for them to go out on a visit, to the theater, to go to a resort or on a trip.

2. Understand why a person is offended

When someone allows himself to violate his values in relations with such a person, he perceives this very painfully - he is offended, and perceives this as a betrayal.

Betrayed - at the level of the psyche - it was taken away or not given. Loyalty and devotion were taken away. Lack of respect and honor.

The psyche of such people is “focused” on the past. It was their nature that rewarded them with an honorable duty - to remember and pass on the experience of generations. But, unfortunately, negative emotions over time also act like yeast on dough - over the years, the unseemly actions of others are increasingly overgrown with negative assessments. The offender himself becomes in their view an increasingly dishonorable person. They cannot forgive betrayal.

People who live in resentment often choose the path of loneliness - they do not seek to build new relationships with people. For them, any changes and innovations are stressful. The new scares them, so if a friend - then for life, if the wife - then the only one.

If friends and wife betrayed, there is a high probability that you will no longer want other relationships. Having once had a negative experience in life, such people subsequently spread the negative attitude of their first experience to everything else. All women - … ! All men - … ! Why make friends - everyone will betray you anyway!

Then they can get a dog. The dog is the best friend, the dog will not betray.

3. Understand who is capable of betrayal

The values of people with the anal vector do not coincide with the values of people with other vectors.

People with a skin vector have completely different desires. They get to know each other easily and enjoy it - new people, new experiences, new relationships. They can part, not at all considering it a betrayal, and then renew their relationship again. They love variety with the prospect of benefiting from it. They do not know and do not understand what an insult is, they do not need to learn how to forgive it.

They even build their family relationships with those with whom it is more profitable. “Successfully married”, “Married profitably”, etc.

For people with a visual vector, it is important to build emotional connections with a large number of people. The meaning of their life is love. They cannot love one for too long. They love to be seen, visit museums, exhibitions and socialize, and fall in love.

The given examples of life values of people with different mental properties show how different we are all. And what is important and valuable for people with the anal vector is unknown to the owners of the other seven vectors. Everyone else has other priorities. Therefore, it is even difficult to imagine the variety of life situations that our hero can be offended by.

The surrounding people who have committed any act that he was offended by may not even be aware that they caused someone mental suffering. It never occurs to them that someone regards their behavior as a betrayal.

There are no those who offend. There are those who are offended.

With the realization of this, the path to understanding how to forgive and not be offended begins, the path to discovering the ability to learn to see those trigger points when resentment arises.

4. Understand why the other offends

Our mind is our desires. A person can do something only if he wants to do it. Desires govern our lives. And there is nothing stronger than them. People cannot control their desires, since the psyche is incommensurably larger than consciousness. The lesser cannot control the greater.

If a person's desires are not fulfilled, frustrations arise in him - painful states. If desires are not fulfilled for a long time, then a person may experience such tension that in order to satisfy his desire, he can violate all the restrictions of society - both the rules of cultural behavior and the law.

Such is the power of human desires given to man at birth to preserve himself and all people.
It is important to learn to realize that each person manifests only his innate desires and none of the eight vectors has the property of offending another or committing betrayal.

People do not offend - they realize themselves in accordance with their innate properties and life values, which may not coincide with the values of others. And the development of a chain of events leading to the emergence of resentment and the feeling that "anyone can betray" is based only on ignorance of the psyche - both one's own and other people's.

5. Understand what it means to forgive betrayal

To understand how to forgive betrayal is to know yourself and understand others.

Learning to get rid of resentment is to know yourself, to know your psyche, to realize your desires, life values and priorities. Learn to recognize the causes of resentment. What is perceived, disappears. It's like the sun rises at dawn - a ray illuminates the sky and the darkness of the night disappears.

As soon as a person realizes that no one is planning betrayal, no one wants to offend him, that he himself is offended, and when he begins to understand that insult and betrayal are just his personal perception of reality, resentment is released.

People with developed and realized qualities of the anal vector experience a feeling opposite to resentment - they experience a feeling of deep gratitude. This raises the quality of their life to another level and fills their life with joy in communicating with other people.

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan turns insults into gratitude and reveals the essence of the question of how to learn to forgive.

“… while reading messages on Facebook, I saw the name of my ex-Danish husband. For the first time after parting, I didn’t “click” on him in order to inquire about what was happening to him ... The desire was not suppressed, but - “Ah, he ...”, a slight, natural lack of interest ... The ice broke. And will it still be...

... I say the phrase: “What a wonderful family I had in this respect - intelligent mom and dad, no mats, a happy childhood ...” A friend supports: “Of course, you were happy, and your resentment towards your mother, which made you raise your brother, so ... "She still does not have time to finish her phrase, when I suddenly unconsciously say:" Oh, yes, these are such trifles! I can already tell her this (she died 14 years ago) ... A crazy state, and especially Awareness of this state and the depth of what happened.
For so many years at all these trainings (others) I talked with my mother and me, a little girl, and learned to let go and reconcile them with each other, but I didn’t let go, I know. THAT FEELING IN THE HEART WHICH I FELT YESTERDAY - IT WAS FORGIVENESS... I am writing now and crying. But these are good tears. I know that now she will feel good in this infinite Universal soul ... I LOVE YOU, MOM! .. "

The betrayal of a loved one can knock the ground out from under your feet and instantly devastate your soul. After a while, resentment, anger and a desire for revenge settle in the depths of the soul. Is there a place for forgiveness and is it necessary to forgive betrayal?

How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one?

Only the closest people are capable of betraying us, since it is to them that we turn our backs, not expecting a blow. How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one? First of all, you need to calm down and look at the situation with a sober look. Most likely, the person simply made a mistake or went on about his feelings and, his goal was not to hurt you. Everyone has their weaknesses, and it is much easier to forgive the weak than the evil. In addition, speaking frankly, in betrayal, as well as in treason, at least indirectly, both are to blame. If you hadn't trusted the person so much, if you hadn't made him responsible for yourself and your life, his betrayal would not have been so painful. Both made a mistake, which means that the fault lies not only with the traitor, but also with you.

How to forgive meanness and betrayal?

It is very difficult to forgive meanness and betrayal, and this is due to the fact that you are driven by a feeling of strong resentment and a desire to take revenge. Revenge won't make things easier because it won't lessen your pain.

You can forgive the offender only through analysis and understanding of the reasons that forced you to betray. Perhaps the reason is not on the surface, and you yourself provoked a loved one to do just that. Something in your relationship went wrong if your loved one went to such lengths. Having understood yourself, you can make a knight's move and ask your offender for forgiveness for those things that forced him to betray. As a result, it will become much easier for you.

How to forgive betrayal and reduce pain?

To make it less painful, it is important to understand what has become the biggest problem for you: the very fact that you were betrayed, or the feelings that you experienced at the same time? After carefully analyzing the situation, it may turn out that everything happens in our life on time, when it is necessary, and even betrayal can eventually turn in your favor. The main thing is to make decisions in a calm state, not to accumulate resentment in yourself and not to take revenge on a person, since he can also feel bad. Any betrayal is a signal to reconsider and understand yourself.