The child steals money. A child steals money from parents - advice from a psychologist on what to do

28.08.2019

If a little liar and a thief is wound up in your house, then, of course, there is nothing good about it. When a child without demand takes money, other people's things and cheats, you need to urgently take action, otherwise this behavior will turn into very unpleasant traits and break his life.

The first and quite natural reaction of parents is punishment. To scold, put in a corner, deprive food or entertainment, “you won't go anywhere, even to school” are formidable measures, but they do not always bring the desired results. Psychologists advise first to talk to the child, thoroughly understand the reasons for the misconduct, and only then make a decision.

What can not be done in any case

The correct tactics of behavior is the key to a successful dialogue with the child. Reckless punishment can once and for all deprive you of the authority and trust of your son or daughter.

Avoid making a public debriefing of the flight, especially if the child is the first to steal.
Do not hang labels, do not call the child a criminal, a thief, do not paint gloomy pictures of the prison future.
Do not say phrases like “We didn’t raise you for that”, “There are no thieves in our family”, “I did not expect this from you”.
Do not compare the child with other children, known criminals, negative characters, do not give examples from family history, for example, "You are all like a grandfather who served 25 years."
Do not harass with constant reproaches and reminders of the committed misconduct.
Do not discuss the situation with strangers and family members in the presence of the child, savoring the details and thereby humiliating him.
Don't remember past wrongs by scolding for what just happened.

No matter how boldly the child behaves, he is still afraid and awaits punishment, so the listed negative statements will be perceived with hostility. It will be like in a well-known joke - "I behave as you called me, what do you dislike?" If you choose the right tactics, he will listen, and then you will have a conversation from which he will draw conclusions.

Why does a child cheat and take someone else's

The reasons can be very diverse, and many are associated with the wrong behavior of the parents.

You frivolously promised to buy something, but you never did. By appropriating someone else's thing, the child will convince himself that he is not to blame; his parents, who did not keep their word, pushed him to steal. What else was there to do ?!
If a child grows up in a dysfunctional family, then stealing and cheating can be a defensive reaction to the negative atmosphere in the house and the indifference of the parents. Typically, these children choose the luckier victim among their peers. In this situation, the professional help of a psychologist is needed.
Inconsistency and inconsistency of adult relatives. For example, mom forbids eating ice cream, and grandfather is ready to buy it in kilograms, but asks mom not to talk. Dad says that it is not good to lie and steal, but when he is a child, he is lying to the boss that he is sick, and he goes fishing and brings a calculator from work. It turns out that the rules can still be broken ?! When committing a theft or deceit, the child already has an excuse: grandfather and dad also do this, which means that everything is possible. But parental authority accompanies us all our lives!
Often, the child is pushed to lie and steal by total control on the part of adults, then this is a kind of defense, a distorted manifestation of independence. The flip side of the coin is the indifference of the parents, and in this way the children try to attract their attention to themselves.
Another common cause is jealousy. It seems that the child has everything, but he wants to possess things that belong to another child. Remember, your neighbor's grass is always greener? And the wealth of all families is different.

Each situation is unique, and you can endlessly list the possible causes, the more important it is to find out what exactly provoked your child. Undesirable behavior can only be changed by eradicating its cause.

What to do?

If you caught a child at the scene of a crime, you are 100% sure of his guilt, then psychologists recommend, firstly, to immediately stop the theft, and secondly, to talk calmly with the child, just calmly - without shouting and accusations, and, in- third, to punish.

Talk

The conversation should take place in a calm atmosphere so that no one interferes with you. Speak calmly, evenly. Be sure to say that you are very ashamed and it is difficult for you to understand and accept that this could happen in your family. Find out why he took money or a thing, what moved him. The next step is to explain what money is, how hard it is given, what it goes to. In the future, the child, if he is old enough, can be involved in budget planning so that he better understands how much is spent on rent, how much for food, how much for entertainment, etc.

To the kid, if he committed theft or deception for the first time, explain that it is not good to do this, that the truth always comes out, here you can give examples from the cartoon or your experience. Tell them that stealing and cheating is not the best way out; a simple polite request can achieve more.

Punishment

The most effective measure, according to psychologists, is to force the child to fully compensate for the damage done on his own. An important condition: he must earn money himself, feel their value. A teenager can be offered a part-time job, for example, distributing flyers, delivering mail, selling newspapers, etc. The following option is suitable for a younger child: you will pay him small amounts for household chores: cleaning, washing dishes, working at a summer cottage. So he will have his own money, from which he will have to compensate for the damage. If a kid has committed an offense, for example, stole a toy from a friend, then, in addition to the stolen one, he must give the victim a thing that is of great value to him.

Your task is to show the child that he committed a serious offense, that the chosen punishment is fair, that you understand that he made a mistake and did not love him less, but at the same time you are ready to take the most decisive measures.

Not caught, not a thief

In the case when the child's guilt is not proven, it is better to remain silent. Postpone the conversation until you are absolutely sure. An unfair accusation traumatizes the child's psyche.

Of course, such serious misconduct cannot be fully justified. A child of 4-5 years old already perfectly understands that, by deceiving and appropriating other people's things, he is doing wrong, committing a prohibited action. The punishment must be correct and proportionate. If these measures did not help, do not hesitate to contact a child psychologist, he will definitely find a way out of this situation.

The situation when a child steals money from his parents is widespread. Most children have similar experiences, but this does not mean that this behavior is considered normal. Theft is a vice, and stealing from one's own people is showing disrespect to them and making them doubt their own child. If you stop the developing habit of checking the pockets of loved ones in time, then problems can be avoided in the future.

Psychological aspect: why do children steal money from their parents? There are many reasons and most of them are quite justified from the point of view of children's self-awareness:

The child is able to steal from good intentions. He wants to make a gift to a loved one or friend, but he does not have the opportunity to make a purchase on his own. The desire to please loved ones overpowers the understanding of committing a bad deed. In childhood, morals are weak, and desires are quite strong.
When an irresistible desire to receive something arises and it is impossible to fight with it. I want a chocolate bar - I put it in my pocket, I need a toy, quietly hid it under my sweater, and so on. A kid can buy the thing he needs (it would seem) if he thought over the situation in advance and took money from his parents “on loan”. When a child steals from a store, the advice of a psychologist explains this behavior by the impossibility of controlling his desires. The understanding of the wrong behavior is already there, but there is no control over it. It is fully formed by the age of 20, and then serious problems arise with adolescents.
The desire to get a symbolic thing. This may be what peers have, who play an important role in the children's team. For example, an iPhone or headphones, stylish clothes. This is usually done by adolescents who have low self-esteem. He does not understand that a new thing will not give him any advantages. The child believes that if he has money in his pockets, it increases his authority. A group of guys gathers around him who are ready to take the opportunity to get cash. But you need to understand that these are not friends, and authority is not bought, but earned
The ability to draw attention to your own person. In the absence of attention and understanding of parents and loved ones, the child may try to return their location with such an unseemly method. It doesn't matter to him that the reaction to the act will be negative. The main thing is to have it. It is enough for parents to reconsider their attitude and talk with their daughter or son to change the situation. The child took this step to get attention. Theft can be one-time if the situation in the family changes.
Lack of understanding of the value of money and the role that they play. Children do not always know at what cost and with what efforts money is earned and conversations will not help here. You need to limit the spending of your daughter or son, or offer them to earn extra money in their free time, so that they spend their efforts and come to the realization that money "does not come from the sky."
Imitation of friends. In the company of peers, the child wants to look "at his best" and he obeys the laws of the pack. If the others are stealing, why not try me too? His behavior is based on the following postulates:

this is what my friends, whom I respect, do;
I know that responsibility for what is done will be shared between me and others;
I am brave and friends are not mistaken in my devotion.

Theft is sometimes used as an option for revenge. To punish a peer who caused a serious offense, he must be deprived of a valuable thing that he especially values.

Important: Negative family relationships are quite capable of provoking theft. A friendly atmosphere, no screams, care and attention create a calm environment. The child feels protected, loved, needed and the possibility of a bad deed is minimized.

What to do if a child steals money from parents: advice from a psychologist

The theft is committed only once, as the respect of the parents does not want to listen to endless long "sermons", he is afraid of the punishment that follows the act, does not want to lose a holiday gift, and so on. But if one, the second theft went "with a bang" and the theft was not followed by punishment, then it will be difficult to stop the little thief.

It is important to know not what to do if a loss is found, and what absolutely must not be done:

do not use threats when talking about the police and the prison. The little man understands that he has done wrong, but not so much that such a terrible punishment would follow;
do not hang labels that sounds like a sentence for life: "you are a thief" or "you are a swindler", "this is not my son" and so on. Despite the bad deed, parents should understand his motives and take the side of the child before placing a stigma;
don't compare him to bad guys or difficult teenagers. The child feels bad and continues to perform similar actions. After all, if he has such problems, then it is better for him not to become. Another point - the child again performs a similar act, but more inventively, so as not to get caught;
do not blame the thief in front of witnesses, be it a school friend, teacher, relative. This is humiliating and leads to the formation of a certain opinion about this person later. This behavior causes stressful situations and only lowers self-esteem;
do not constantly remember the old "deeds" left in the past. The child has already lived and experienced the current situation, and he is reminded of it again, making him think that he is bad and pushing him to the next negative step.

Note: The reaction of adults and children to the price of stolen goods is very different. An adult will brush off the stolen candy and will be indignant if the phone is missing. For a child, the value of the stolen does not matter, but the value from his point of view of a particular thing.

Psychologist's advice when a child steals money from parents and educational measures stop working is important and useful. But they should not only be listened to, but put into practice. And if the situation has reached an impasse, then a psychologist will help in such matters. For example, a psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin, who will advise on how to solve a similar problem.

Stealing children from poor and rich families: is there a difference?

Paradoxically, in wealthy families, children steal more and more often. Since the problem of money is not acute here, parents do not explain to the child that theft is not a positive trait in behavior.

And the child, without remorse, takes money from guests, servants, relatives. For a long time, no one accuses or suspects that the bills disappear due to the fault of their own children. The daughter or son feels safe. They are confident in parental love and favor, an abundance of money and their own impunity, over time, turns into a vice.

What if a child from a wealthy family steals? Psychologist's advice is based on the diagnosis of a nervous disorder due to lack of attention, kleptomania, or misunderstanding of the value of banknotes.

Children from poor families observe how carefully parents distribute and spend the money they earn, how they consider “every penny” and usually do not steal from their parents. The risk of exposure is too high, followed by punitive measures. In addition, the child quickly begins to realize the importance of banknotes.

It is much easier for a child from an underprivileged family to steal a packet of chips, a chocolate bar or a cookie from the supermarket. From their point of view, it is not as dangerous as stealing from loved ones. And if the thief for a long time does not come across "by the hand", then thefts will be repeated repeatedly. If he was exposed, his impact and misconduct may become isolated and not re-emerge.

Regardless of social status, children can steal both at home and at school. This is due to several reasons:

a strong desire to possess someone else's thing, although there is remorse;
material insecurity or psychological dissatisfaction;
unformed concept of morality and willpower.

Important: Theft can be committed by a child of any age, if the motive for such an action is strong. This is a temporary weakness, after which remorse is tormented. The stolen thing "burns his hands" and the thief usually tries to get rid of it.

Psychologist's advice: what to do if a child steals and lies?

If the baby is constantly lying, then there can be no question of understanding between different generations. This is a sign of fear of being punished or, lack of attention of adults, developed imagination.

Psychologist's advice on how to wean a child from stealing money is not useful if you just listen to them. The following actions will help to save the situation:

try to become not an enemy, but an ally to your child, help him understand the current situation;
total control is not needed to make the baby lie even more in order to get out of parental oppression;
teach to see the difference between reality and fiction: the child must understand where fantasy ends and reality begins;
a personal example is good when the parent does not cheat and does not give empty promises;
try not to put pressure on the teenager and limit his life to a narrow framework, he must have the credit of trust in order to feel independent.

Theft and lies often go hand in hand. This is the result of similar problems in the family or between peers and a signal for parents who should not turn a blind eye to the current situation.

Important: A child cannot be punished for the truth. It is not so difficult for him to call things by their proper names and to repent of their actions. Support and understanding are important, the confidence that he will not be abandoned in a difficult situation, so that he does not have a feeling of insecurity.

What if a teenager steals money from parents? Psychologists advise to approach the solution of this problem even before it occurs, trying to prevent negative actions. It is in adolescence that parents encounter theft most often.

This is the period when the body changes on a mental and physiological level. In addition, the teenager is highly influenced by peers. Persuasions and "notations" at this age are not relevant, the teenager does not react to them.

It is advisable for parents to build a trusting relationship with their daughter or son in advance, find out their social circle, invite friends home and support them in any situations, but at the same time explaining "what is good and what is bad." This will allow in the future to tune in to the general wave and

How to prevent teenagers from stealing money from their parents: advice from a psychologist

Any problem is easier to prevent than to solve later. What points should you pay attention to so as not to cry bitter tears in the future? Psychologists advise:

build communication on trust and educate on personal examples, share your own experience;
try to identify the baby's inclinations and choose a hobby for him that will captivate and take up a significant part of the time;
trust him with household chores and determine the range of daily duties: for example, watering flowers, caring for pets, going for groceries;
teach to respect others and their feelings, so that the little person understands that a careless act can hurt another;
the child must understand that in the family everyone has personal and favorite things and clearly distinguish between "mine and foreign";
think over a place where money will be stored so that it does not lie in a conspicuous place, provoking theft;
if the child wants to buy him a thing that is really necessary and give funds for small expenses in order to determine the value of his purchases.

The proposed measures do not always prevent theft, but significantly reduce the risk of their occurrence. If the problem of theft “did not pass by” the family and the child began to steal from households and strangers, from peers, in stores, then, otherwise, the consequences can be extremely sad.

Psychologists advise that if a teenager steals and lies, then it is necessary to find contact with his child, which is a difficult moment, to find out the starting point, what the teenager lacks and what provoked him to step on a slippery slope.

If the grown-up child repents, then the parents will find options and solve the issue with minimal losses. There is no need to reproach and punish, you need to work out the "ways of retreat". For example, to return the stolen or partially compensate for the damage. If you are ashamed, then it is enough to put the stolen thing in the place where the owner will find it.

But one cannot ignore theft, even one committed once. Perhaps this act will not be repeated, but more often the situation of impunity leads to systematic theft. It is difficult to predict and stop it, it is difficult to fight, but it is possible to change the situation. The main thing is to find an approach to your child.

Many parents are familiar with the situation when a child, provided with absolutely everything necessary, commits theft. A prosperous family is seriously upset and puzzled by this fact, causes panic, makes one think about the correctness of upbringing.

Often, finding out the reasons and circumstances of the committed act is accompanied by a storm of negative emotions: parents are ashamed, they are angry with the child, accuse themselves, fear public censure. Joyful pictures of the unborn child associated with kleptomania and crime arise in the imagination. But it depends on the family's reaction to the child's offense whether the child will continue to steal.

Therefore, we propose to do without pessimistic forecasts, not to make hasty conclusions, but to discuss in detail the problem of theft of children: why they steal, how to act in such a situation and prevent its recurrence.

The best way to prevent child stealing is to establish a sincere and trusting relationship with your child..

Age matters

So, almost every child at least once in his life took someone else's thing without permission. Simply put, he stole. It is very difficult to name the exact reason for this act. And the age of the child plays an important role for a competent assessment of what happened.

It is unlikely that anyone would dare to call a kid aged 2 to 4 years old, whose concepts of “mine” and “alien” are still being formed, as a thief. At 4-6 years old, the child develops moral habits, he has an idea of personal property and personal space. But the baby's desires are still extremely impulsive, and they often provoke the child to commit theft.

It is also difficult for mobile and excitable children aged 6-7 years to control their desires (as well as sit quietly in the lesson, listen to the teacher). This behavior is explained by the peculiarities of temperament, psychological trauma (problems in the family, moving, the beginning of educational activities) or serious mental disorders.

At 8-11 years old, stealing children is most often due to the fact that their volitional sphere is not sufficiently developed. The child wants to possess some thing and he cannot cope with this temptation. Then he will be ashamed of such an act, he knows that it is impossible to steal, but he cannot oppose anything to his desire.

Adolescents at the age of 12-15 commit theft deliberately, at this age the presence of such facts may indicate the presence of a bad habit.

Why do children steal

To solve the problem, it is important to establish the cause of the child theft. Let's consider the most common ones.

Family dysfunction

With an acute lack of parental attention and love, lack of understanding and support, the child begins to steal both at home and outside the family in order to attract the attention of adults. This behavior is a silent cry for help, revenge on eternally dissatisfied parents.
If a misconduct is followed by scandal and severe punishment, the child is convinced that the chosen strategy is correct. His logic is simple: it’s better to be punished than not noticed at all. In this case, parents are advised not to focus on the fact of child stealing, but to pay due attention to the child, emphasizing his importance in the family and the importance of positive actions.

Stealing children as an attempt to assert themselves

This is an alarming signal about the psychological distress of a child (usually a preschooler or younger student). Part of it can be difficult for a child to make new friends. With the help of various treats or beautiful things, he tries to win the favor of his peers. This happens more often when in the family the child is deficient in attention and does not feel his own importance. The classic situation: a child takes money from his mother's wallet to buy sweets and give them to the children in return for their favor and friendship. Such a way to increase his own significance seems to him the only possible one.

Parents should solve this problem: improve the baby's self-esteem, develop his abilities and talents, develop communication skills with children, explain and, if necessary, model the most difficult situations.

Stole to get revenge

Was the child offended in the yard, showing off a new toy for a long time? It’s not surprising if the toddler made a deliberate decision to steal her. His reasoning is simple: the boy beat me, and for this I will take his typewriter. How to deal with theft of children of this kind? Convince and explain how to behave correctly in such situations.

The child does not distinguish between his own and other people's things

This situation is typical for children aged 2 to 4 years, when the baby does not know the boundaries between his own and someone else's. In this case, it is recommended to tell that the child has his own crib, his toys, his own things, his own corner, and also to draw his attention to the experiences of the owner, who was left without a favorite toy.

Child's unmet needs

Frequent ignorance of the child's needs by parents leads to an increase in his strong tension and anxiety. The desire to own a certain toy or thing can be so strong that the child commits theft without realizing it. We are not talking about momentary desires, the need for which is actually absent. Advice to parents: listen to the desires of the child and try to at least partially satisfy them.

Lack of understanding that you cannot steal

A child can commit theft out of good intentions, deciding, for example, to give a gift to his mother. He does not even know that this should not be done. It is not easy for a child to say “no” correctly, and yet parents should try to explain it in an accessible way.

Imitation or copying of adult behavior

Maybe in the family people who dishonestly earn a living are discussed with envy? Or does dad bring something from work and is glad that he succeeded? If such situations and conversations in the family are considered normal, it is not necessary for the child to witness them.

Extortion by older children

It is the responsibility of parents and educators to protect the child, stop blackmail and intimidation.

Kleptomania

Among children, this disease, requiring the help of a psychiatrist or neuropsychiatrist, is extremely rare.

Parenting mistakes that lead to theft

What parental mistakes provoke child stealing? Let's name the most common of them:

there is no consistency in upbringing (one offense is followed by punishment, and the other is not);
the family lives according to the principle of "double morality" (parents say one thing, but act differently);
the requirements of adults are inconsistent (mom allows what dad forbids);
the child grows up in an atmosphere of permissiveness, turns into an idol by his parents;
the child's behavior and actions are under the total control of the parents.

What to do in case of child theft

There are some general rules on how parents should behave if a child has committed theft.
Do without scandals and tantrums, do not use physical force as a punishment. The situation will be aggravated by the fact that the next time the child will simply hide the stolen goods. Giving free rein to emotions, you can once and for all deprive your beloved son or daughter of self-confidence.

Important! Finding out the reasons and circumstances of the offense should not take place in front of strangers! Alone with the child in a benevolent form, a confidential conversation should take place: why did he do this, why does he need this thing, who is its owner.

Let your child know that you are very upset about what happened (try to avoid the words "theft", "theft", "crime"). Condemn the behavior, deed, actions, and not the personality of the child. Tell how bad the owner of the thing is without it.

Do not blame the child without proof of his guilt! Don't use labels! Don't compare him to other kids! Don't be traumatized by the need to apologize publicly! Do not demand oath promises not to do this again! Do not return to the misconduct when the situation is resolved, do not blame the child!
Try to return the stolen item without witnesses and share the responsibility with the baby.

If the child took and spent money from the family budget, you need to tell what they were intended for, and limit the family for a certain period, for example, buying sweets or going to the cinema.

Finally, find the true root cause of the wrongdoing and work with it.

Let's summarize

Theft of children is a common phenomenon that occurs for various reasons. The reaction and further behavior of the parents in this case play a very important role. It must be remembered that this situation is completely solvable, and the child can and should be helped. And the best prevention of child theft lies in complete understanding, sincere and trusting relationships between a child and his parents, harmony in the family.

Perhaps most families sooner or later face an extremely unpleasant situation of child theft. Anything can disappear from home, from mom's jewelry or dad's personal belongings, to small household appliances or money.

It is not at all necessary that your children took the things out of the house. Both school friends and courtyard friends can steal, and if this is so, then in no case should such things be left unpunished.

You can go to the parents of such children, you can go to the school where they study, you can file a report with the police, with all the ensuing consequences.

But what to do if your son or daughter stole money or things from home or from your pocket ?! You won't go and report him to the police. But you also need to react somehow, even if your daughter or son “just took money for ice cream out of their pockets”.

What to do if children steal money from their parents, how to act in such a situation, and also what actions to take so that this would never happen again in the future - I think it will be interesting for many parents.

Unfortunately, not only me, but also some of my friends had to face such a problem.

Stories about how we began to suspect our children of stealing money from us

To begin with, I'll tell you our stories, stories about how we found out that our children were stealing money from us. Stories, it seems to me, are not unique, and, as though it were unpleasant to realize it, they are inherent in almost every family.

Some of the money saved up for the car disappeared

We've been saving up for a car for a long time. Not new, but quite expensive. Part of the money lay on a deposit in the bank and, as the necessary amount was accumulated, it was withdrawn, part of the money was given by the parents, but the missing amount had to be taken on credit.

We have already chosen the car, agreed to purchase with the seller the next day.

In the evening we got all the money, counted it, and realized that some of the money collected for the car had simply disappeared.

Realizing that my husband and I did not take this money, suspicion fell on our teenage son. The child's shackled behavior confirmed our fears.

As a result, neither the conversation with the child, nor the meticulous search for money in the children's room and throughout the apartment gave a positive result. We could not return the money, the long-awaited purchase of the car did not take place.

Small amounts of money disappeared from my mom's wallet on a regular basis

I never really kept track of exactly how much cash I had in my wallet. I knew the approximate amount, of course, but not up to rubles and kopecks.

The first suspicions about the lack of some of the money I had in the store, when paying for groceries.

The saleswoman asked to give, if possible, without change. I, being sure that after the last purchase, I had three 50-ruble bills and two 10-ruble bills in my wallet, I was surprised not to see one 50-ruble note and one 10-ruble note. I remembered exactly what bills were supposed to be in my wallet, because it was in such bills that I was last handed change, which I always check.

Deciding that I myself had forgotten where I spent the money this time, I did not worry. But when the situation repeated itself a few days later, I already began to worry.

The spouse did not take the money, saying that he had enough of his own little change. My work colleague is an adult woman, quite wealthy, and we have been working together for almost ten years - she certainly could not take money from my wallet, and even such small sums.

Suspicion fell on the children, causing me to fear and some panic.

Dad collected coins for several years, and his son spent them literally in one day in the slot machine hall.

I do not consider my husband to be a numismatist, and he himself does not consider himself to be such. But the coins issued by the Bank of Russia, especially those for jubilee or timed to any events, are striking in their variety.

So, a few years ago, my husband, having received several such unusual coins for change, began to collect them. I tracked new releases, changed with friends. I tried to collect as large and varied collection as possible. I even made an album for coins with my own hands!

Everyone knew about his hobby: relatives, friends, and even distant acquaintances. And as soon as they got an unusual coin, they put it aside and then gave it to my husband.

For several years, by my standards, he has accumulated a huge collection in which not a single coin has been repeated! The collection expanded, and it already contained not only rubles and kopecks, but also coins of other countries, in which we ourselves or our friends were.

The husband was very proud of his collection, he remembered where he got this or that coin, who gave it to him, or exchanged it. He knew the history of the origin of these coins, when they were minted, according to whose sketches, how many such coins were issued. Kept records, chronological records.

He just breathed it.

Until one fine moment we discovered that there is simply not a single ruble coin in the albums for storing coins! But if you count all the accumulated coins that you can pay in the store, you get a very decent amount of money.

The albums were in place, but there was no money in them. And albums with coins of other countries were unharmed. If they were thieves, they would have taken the whole thing away. But it turns out that someone was sitting and pulling out one coin from the album.

No matter how my husband and I dispelled suspicions from ourselves, how we would not want to understand the obvious, but in the end we resigned ourselves to the suspicion that our son took the money.

What can be the first reaction in the described situations ?! Punish!!!

A child stole money from his parents, and what, in fact, to do with it

Punishment is not always the right action in such moments.

In most cases, it is enough to talk to the child, find out why he did it, and try to get at least some of the money back. Especially if a large amount was stolen.

Talk to your child

Before you start talking about stolen money, you need to calm down.

Yes, you are annoyed, you are torn apart by disappointment and anger, you are gnawing at the resentment that your own son or daughter betrayed you so shamelessly. A conversation with a child in this state will not lead to a positive result.

The child, seeing how annoyed you are, fearing punishment, will not be frank with you. Most likely, he will close in his room, or start roaring, or begin to be rude to you and raise his voice, just like you.

Before starting a conversation, understand that your beloved baby, regardless of his age, stole money from you is your mistake in upbringing. Only yours and nobody else's!

Name: Ksenia

Today they called to school - my daughter steals from classmates - stickers. money. 200 p. she was caught by the hand. you can't hide anything from her at home. carries sweets. although on a diet and knows perfectly well what is possible - but not much. but will find it everywhere and eat. candy wrappers and packaging hides. He also hides his notebooks - I find the torn-out sheets behind the sofa. with errors and bad grades. I talked to her - that in any case - whatever she did - I will love her. what she would tell me. consulted. last April we went to consult a psychologist - that we cannot find a common language - the psychologist advised not to control every step. less abuse to be friends. I relaxed my control. that's what it turned out to be. lying - until you pin to the wall .. sobs. all my friends and neighbors look askance at me. forbid children to play with it. The teacher did not immediately inform me, but told the whole school up to the watchmen, and even if translate, that is impossible, there are no more schools in our area, then the teacher will write everything in the description. I give my daughter money. I buy everything I want. houses rubble of toys, magazines and stickers ... internet..discs. music. we all have an incomplete family. completely incomplete I have no relatives and a husband. the child is one and only late. a psychologist at school talks about kleptomania. I can't imagine how we can continue to live. going to put her on record with the police. I write and my hands are shaking .. affectionate girl. at home, animals, she looks after them, I don't even touch. wipe everything .. goes to dances and karate. every year a circle of some sort. from the age of three. at her request. we are discussing. in the yard one began to release only this summer .. so all the time was under control. I started having health problems. from stress. at work, too, will become known .. I treasured my reputation so much. constantly writes to me I love you. and I always tell her we hug. maybe, of course, I'm not very affectionate, but we laugh often. there is no one to discuss. ashamed and scared.