The importance of a complete family. What is a prosperous family

How many children should there be in a family for everyone to be happy? Unfortunately, there is no definite answer to this question. To solve this dilemma for yourself personally, take into account all life circumstances, which will be discussed below.

Flowers of life

Why are children needed? Perhaps, before a planned pregnancy, you should first ask yourself this question. Many women look back at their relatives and others, blindly follow public opinion, or even deliberately bring their lives in line with outdated stereotypes. They have children simply because "it is necessary", without even thinking about how much physical and emotional strength they will have to invest in a child in the future, not to mention finances. Couples, for some reason not in a hurry to acquire a beloved child, become a real target for close relatives and colleagues: everyone considers it their duty to ask: "When?" and remind that time is running out and fraught with countless risks and dangers.

From extreme to extreme

On the other hand, families with many children face a different kind of attack. Mother-heroines are often despised for a large number of "spinning gnaws", if the family does not live well and cannot afford timely home repairs or the purchase of new children's toys. "Flowers of Life" seem to transform from adorable chubby babies into unpaid loans, second-hand clothes, shoes worn by someone else and into cheap sweets instead of trendy chocolate eggs. People forget that a full-fledged family is a unity of different, but infinitely kindred souls, and not just a couple of wealthy or poor adults and a flock of their offspring.

Everyone chooses for himself

Recently, such a social phenomenon as childfree has become widespread - a social movement that proclaims free thinking about the completeness of the family and the absence of children in it. Childfree often sincerely do not understand why children are needed, and deliberately refuse to procreate, not wanting to bind their hands and feet with the need to look after and care for a small toddler. They believe that there are already too many people on the globe, and without their contribution to the replenishment of humanity, the world can easily manage. Adherents of this approach highly value their own freedom, the opportunity to go anywhere and do whatever they want, to spend time as they see fit. They don't need unnecessary obligations and meaningless, in their opinion, troubles. Childfree lives for themselves and for a loved one.

Dads are the exact opposite of childfree. They do not even ask the question of why children are needed, and they do not dream of a child of a certain gender. They give birth to numerous weather conditions simply because they feel their purpose in this, because their hearts demand to give a lot of love, because in children they find consolation, emotional protection from external experiences, a deep hope that everything will always be fine. This opinion also has every right to exist.

Outside pressure

It seems that society will always be dissatisfied. If there are no children, then you need to have them. If the child is alone, he really needs a brother or sister. If there are two children, then it would be good to give birth to a third and receive the status of a large family in order to enjoy the corresponding social privileges. And if there are more than three children ... In the latter case, most people move from positive recommendations to negative assessments and criticism.

When the child is alone

Meanwhile, no one thinks about why the couple has only one child and why the spouses are in no hurry to have many children. Often, women with a single toddler are among those who once followed the lead of relatives or public opinion and gave birth to a son or daughter just because "it is necessary." Young mothers, initially not ready to communicate with a small child, found themselves in a serious stressful situation, fell under the influence of postpartum depression and took out exclusively negative and bad impressions from their first experience of motherhood. Of course, they do not want to have children anymore, because they are afraid of a repetition of the nightmare that they have already experienced once. There is no time to sleep, there is no strength to clean the apartment, there is not enough patience to listen to children's cries and to treat the baby for incessant colic, there is no money for milk formula, since breast milk either did not come, or burned out too early ... There is no desire to live. This is a typical picture of postpartum depression, guaranteed even before the moment of conception for every woman who is not morally ready to become a mother.

No brothers or sisters

There are, of course, other reasons for not having more than one child. For some, procreation is not a priority in life: it is enough to communicate with the only, but infinitely beloved child. Someone simply cannot conceive or give birth safely and continues to struggle with the terrible diagnosis of "infertility" or an unbearable series of frozen pregnancies. Gynecological diseases in women and sperm disorders in men, financial problems and uncertainty about the future, not the happiest experience of raising a first-born - these are far from all reasons to seriously ask the question of why children are needed and come to the conclusion about the sufficiency of one and only offspring. Is it worth condemning people who have come to this conclusion? Is it worth reminding them endlessly that it is still possible to "go for the second"?

Adopted children

The social institution of adoption can, perhaps, be considered one of the most successful. The opportunity to officially take someone else's child under her wing and raise him as her own brought long-awaited happiness to thousands and millions of childless couples. They prefer to take newborn babies - "refuseniks" from orphanages, so that the child does not even remember his own mother and considers the adoptive parents to be blood. However, older children also have a chance to find happiness in a new family. Many of them ended up in shelters after depriving single mothers of parental rights. Having learned from their own experience how hard it is to live with drinking and cruel parents, these small, but already far from naive children do not always immediately become attached to kind and loving hearts. And nevertheless, convinced of a significant difference in attitude, they often fully return the love given to them and treat new parents much more tenderly than some young people with their real dad and mom. Foster children, taken into a new family at a conscious age, remain forever grateful to those who saved them from the hardships of the orphanage. Everyone can do this good deed - to adopt a child left without parental supervision. But first, think: are you sure that you can give him everything that you would give to your blood child?

A few words about the meaning of life

So why are children needed? "To be"? To satisfy your own maternal and paternal instincts, inherent in nature? To raise worthy people out of them in the future? Are children thus the meaning of life?

Albert Einstein gave an amazing answer to the question "why". In his opinion, any such question can be answered as follows: a person acts in one way or another only because he creates a feeling of satisfaction for himself and for others by the corresponding act, statement or action. Indeed, let's go back to the first example. There is a social need to have a baby. By giving birth to her first child, a woman satisfies, on the one hand, her own maternal instinct and follows the biologically dictated need to preserve the clan, and on the other hand, she satisfies the needs of society, which requires the presence of children in almost every family. Einstein's principle is easily applicable to any other situation. What for? To get a sense of satisfaction! If you need children for personal happiness, do not look back at social stereotypes - have as many as you want and can afford. If you are not needed, again, do not react to the attacks and claims of others, stay childfree.

After all, this is only your choice.

We were sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentioned that she and her husband were thinking about "starting a full-fledged family."

“We're doing an opinion poll here,” she said jokingly. - Do you think I should have a baby?

“It will change your life,” I said, trying not to show my emotions in any way.

“I know,” she said. - And you can't sleep on weekends, and you can't really go on vacation.

But that was not at all what I had in mind. I looked at my daughter, trying to articulate my words more clearly. I wanted her to understand what she would not be taught in any prenatal course.

I wanted to tell her that the physical wounds from childbirth will heal very quickly, but motherhood will give her such a bleeding emotional wound that it will never heal. I wanted to warn her that henceforth she will never be able to read a newspaper without an inner question: "What if this happened to my child?" Every plane crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she looks at pictures of children dying of hunger, she will think that there is nothing worse in the world than the death of your child.

I looked at her manicured nails and stylish suit and thought that no matter how sophisticated she was, motherhood would lower her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. What an alarmed cry of "Mom!" will make her leave without regret everything - from soufflé to the best crystal glass.

It seemed to me that I should warn her that no matter how many years she spent on her work, her career would be significantly affected after the birth of a child. She can hire a nanny, but one day she will go to an important business meeting, but she will think about the sweet smell of a baby's head. And it will take all her willpower not to run home just to find out that her baby is okay.

I wanted my daughter to know that the nonsense everyday problems will never again be nonsense to her. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room at McDonald's would be a huge dilemma. That there, among the clattering trays and screaming children, the issues of independence and gender identity will rise on one side of the scale, and the fear that there, in the toilet, may be a rapist of minors - on the other.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I wanted to tell her that she can lose the weight gained during pregnancy, but she can never lose motherhood and become the same. That her life, which is so important to her now, will no longer be so important after the birth of the child. That she will forget about herself at the moment when it will be necessary to save her offspring, and that she will learn to hope for fulfillment - oh no! not your dream! - the dreams of their children.

I wanted her to know that a cesarean scar or stretch marks would be a sign of honor for her. That her relationship with her husband will change and not at all the way she thinks. I would like her to understand how much you can love a man who carefully sprinkles powder on your child and who never refuses to play with him. I think she will find out what it is like to fall in love again for a reason that now seems to her completely unromantic.

I wanted my daughter to feel that connection between all the women of the earth who tried to stop wars, crime and drunk driving.

I wanted to describe to my daughter the thrill that overwhelms a mother when she sees her child learning to ride a bike. I wanted to capture for her the laughter of a toddler as he touches the soft fur of a puppy or kitten for the first time. I wanted her to feel joy so overwhelming that it can hurt.

My daughter's surprised look made me realize that tears were welling up in my eyes.

“You will never regret it,” I said finally. Then I reached across the table to her, squeezed her hand, and mentally prayed for her, for myself, and for all mortal women who devote themselves to this most wonderful of callings.

Almost every person living on this planet sooner or later finds a soul mate. Some couples live together for decades, enjoying each other's company, and do not complicate everything with stamps in their passports. Others go to the registry office to tie the knot. In any case, it's a family. After all, they are united by love and feelings. But what is a family for in general? This question has surely crept into the heads of many of us. Well, it's worth trying to find an answer to it.

Definition

To begin with, you can note how it is customary to characterize the family in words. That is, refer to the terminology. The definition states that it is a social institution and the basic unit of society. And it is characterized by certain features. In particular, the union of two people who love each other and voluntary marriage. Subsequently, they become connected by a community of everyday life. But the most important thing is that the family is, first of all, the most important social value.

Benefit

For an adult, it is a source of satisfaction of certain needs of a very different nature: starting with care and intimacy and ending with the help of a partner at home and doing work.

For the younger members of society, the family is an environment in which favorable conditions for development are formed. Not even so much physical as emotional, mental and intellectual. All this should be given to the child by his parents. Who, in turn, must themselves take place as individuals capable of raising a full-fledged member of a civilized society. Therefore, the birth of a child, if such is planned, must be treated with maximum responsibility. Unfortunately, many people in modern society do not realize it.

Other functions

Now you can talk in more detail about what a family is for, in addition to the above. Sociologists additionally identify several more of its functions.

The first one is household. That is, the essence of the function is to meet the material needs of both family members. People get married, work, buy an apartment with jointly accumulated funds, furnish it with appliances and furniture - this is the most primitive example. But descriptive. After all, by putting together everything turns out to be acquired faster.

Emotional component

But of course, the first and main thing for which a family is needed is feelings. Love, sympathy, care, respect, recognition, mutual support. The desire to engage in spiritual enrichment together, after all. This is all that is needed for a family.

And of course, one more important function is the sexual-erotic one. Each partner must meet the corresponding needs of the other. At will, of course. Although, in fact, is it different in happy couples?

No, but in other families, yes. Unions often break up due to sexual incompatibility. Adults and young married couples collapse, as partners dissatisfied with each other begin to get angry, break down and, finally, look for consolation on the side.

Ideas of a normal family

There are no "standards". In our time - for sure. What a family is for - it was said, and now you can pay attention to its characteristics. Still, there are some ideas about a healthy union now. And they are quite adequate and correct.

In a family, each partner must perceive the other as an equal person. Show trust, openness, honesty, and marital fidelity. The last aspect is becoming more utopian every year. But he is correct. People get married because they love each other and cannot imagine life without their partner, who suits them in everything. Then why look for something else?

What a family needs is the responsibility of each of its members. If any problems arise, you need to solve them together, and not try to shift the blame onto your partner.

Also, in a healthy family, people relax together, enjoy something and rejoice. They also respect each other's traditions. If one of the partners is of German descent and the other is Russian, then why not celebrate the national holidays of both?

Even in a normal family, there should be a right to privacy. Sometimes we all need to be alone with the dearest person - ourselves. And he understands correctly. And not as the desire of his soul mate to move away. And one more thing: both partners are obliged to accept the peculiarities and differences of each other, without trying to "reshape" the essence of the beloved person. If all of the above is observed, and not because it is necessary, but because it comes from the heart and soul, then the happy one is provided.

About problems

So, it was told in great detail about what a family is. The definition of a normal, healthy relationship is also given. And now we can pay attention to the key points that indicate the failure of the couple and the incompatibility in marriage.

Partners should consider if they deny problems and maintain illusions. If, for example, a wife spends 15 out of 24 hours in a day at work, this is worth discussing. Most likely, in this situation, the man feels himself single.

Lack of intimacy is also a problem. As well as the rigid distribution of roles in the family. If a woman is at work and a man has a day off, why not spend 30 minutes dusting off? Many people have great prejudices about this and all others like that.

Conflicting relationships are a problem. Especially hidden, when the couple creates the illusion that everything is fine. Let's say a wife found out about her husband's betrayal, but she doesn't say anything and behaves as if nothing had happened, but subconsciously hating her husband. Any problem needs to be solved, otherwise the microclimate in the family will be extremely unfavorable.

conclusions

Well, the key to a happy life together is mutual tolerance, the correct prioritization, the ability to find compromises, as well as the preservation of their individuality (after all, it is with her that people fall in love). By the way, it is important to preserve the very “spark” that many people like to talk about so much. But for this you just need to get rid of the routine and regularly bring variety to life.

Relationships are never perfect, but they can be built. And put love as a basis. And in no case should you follow the standards. The union will be happy if the partners live the way they both want. And why do we need a family if not for this?

You rarely meet a real family in our time. After all, a full-fledged, happy family is mom, dad and me (or three more brothers or sisters). And how many people have it now?

I remember that during my school years I was struck by the fact that my classmate Masha once said: "Mom and Dad are divorced, but they live together." It's strange somehow, because everything is different with us: dad, mom and me and my sister - that means that everyone should be like that! Then I find out that another classmate, Lera, lives with her stepfather, and her sister was born from another marriage.

And even later, when I learned that there are many abandoned children in children's hospitals, and there are not enough hands to take care of them, I began to provide all possible help. And she asked this question to four-year-old Sasha: "Why do you have blue stripes on your handles?" And she received an unexpected answer: “It’s my mother and brother who are tying me to the doorknob and beating me.” Yes, not everyone has full-fledged families. Now this strong shock has passed from me, only pain in my heart for injustice in this world, for serious illnesses of children - is still a lump in my throat.

While working as a nanny for six-year-old Dima, I thought: his mother and mother's sister live in the house, their children are Dima and Katya, but there are no dads. It's strange, they don't even talk about them ...

Natasha, a girl a little older than the previous characters, probably does not even suspect why dad is so rarely at their home. Meanwhile, my mother is reading a foreign psychologist, who, apparently, advises to imitate the presence of his father. And to my mother's question: "Who should I expect, you or my father?" - she replied: "I don't know, maybe my father will come, or maybe I will." And so it was said hesitantly, and also the bathroom, in which there are no male appliances - all this made it clear that dad would not come, although his photographs were placed in the room. And so it happened. Mom came, and it is not her fault that she acts according to the book. He just wants to do what's best for his daughter. But is it better? After all, then Natasha will grow up and still understand that she was deceived.

And seven-year-old Kolya, with whom I now work part-time, already has a completely childish sly look and, showing me a new snowboard that costs a lot of money, he says, pleased: "This is what my mother's friend gave me!" And in response to my objection that, they say, what about dad, because you can't replace him with expensive gifts, Nikolai replies: "I love both dad and uncle Slava." Does he understand what love is? ..

So many difficult family situations can be found now! But I do not despair and believe, I even know that there are happy - real families. A family that can become the love of one person. A family, which, of course, has its own difficulties. Indeed, without them, the character of a real family would not have been tempered, difficulties unite all members of the family even more tightly.

The Seleznev family is very familiar to me. The fifth year of our friendship has passed, and for me a mother from this family is an example of sacrificial love.

Mom Irishka, dad Sasha and four children (two adults, and two school age). I come to visit to cut the kids' hair, Vanka and Romka. The door is opened for me by Katerina, the sister of the brothers, who will sit on a chair for two hours while their hair says goodbye to their heads. Referring to the fact that the brothers did not have time to get out, he invites to go through. We settled down in the kitchen, cutting a haircut for one of the offspring, who is busy playing with the phone and therefore is silent. Katya informs her mother that the salad is not cut, because a dull knife, to which a tired mother who came home from work replies: "Never mind Katyusha, I'll finish the cut myself." Then the second child runs in and from the bags that mother brought, takes out what he needs now, instead of helping to spread them out. At the table, Irina's sister's son tries to cut the salad, but, alas, having received the unnecessary conviction that the knife is dull, he retreats. The eldest son, having come home from work, warms up the food, while the younger son, who is sitting in my chair, teases the older one. And all together, of course, call mom, because the head of the family, dad is still at work. Periodically, the phone rings, and the kids are shouting, who are glad that the haircuts are finally finished and you can have plenty of fun! But dad came home from work - and immediately to the kitchen, mom greets the head of the family with a smile and a wonderful dinner. Saying goodbye to Irishka, I say: "Well, everyone has calmed down, now you will rest too!" To which the mother of a large family smiles: "What are you, I still have to print an article for the newspaper!"

Going down in the elevator, I think: maybe this is not an ideal family, but it is certainly the most real one, love reigns there! What kind of love a person should have in his heart, how to love his family, so as not to scream, not to break. But she, too, is a living person who gets tired - and how tired she is. She could have screamed, but who needs a loud wife? She could also reproach her husband for a small income, but someone needs a husband, and someone needs a robotic ATM. They could, but they need a caring and loving mother - the keeper of the family hearth, the warmth of which is given by their joint 20-year family life.

When both have genuine warmth in their hearts, they will strive not to lose it, but to increase it - for a start, at least with a seal in the registry office. Of course, this is not at all an indicator of the true feelings of lovers, but it clearly shows a serious desire to create a family, and not to play a bride, i.e. "Wait - see, try". After such unsuccessful tests, a person loses confidence in the opposite sex, which further entails a consumer attitude and cold calculation. Because living in cohabitation with each other is always a risk, always an unstable situation and a constant fear that he (she) may leave at any time, because there are no obligations. In such cohabitation, a person will always show his best sides, play the role of "ideal" because of the fear of loss. But it is always difficult to play, everyone wants to be real, himself, and to be loved, and not "an ideal image." And the question of registering a marriage will surely arise. Usually this question sounds from the lips of a girl, which makes a guy with insincere feelings, with only carnal attraction, to back down. But is it going to be a family? ..

On January 20, 2008, an unforgettable event in my life took place - a wedding. My husband and I are both believers, so up to this sacrament for 2.5 years we communicated, so to speak, like brother and sister. And it helped to understand whether we had a serious intention to enter into a long, difficult, but happy family life. Now it is almost four months of a God-blessed marriage legalized by God. And only now, gradually, you begin to understand how important the sacrament of a wedding between people who love each other is. It is impossible to convey in words what kind of grace descends on those who are getting married, and meanwhile the responsibility increases, because “What God has combined, let man not part!”. So, which half you have chosen, with that one you will walk the same road all your life.

The attitude towards each other has become more sensitive, but not a passionate attraction, but an internal connection: you understand that if he feels bad, then you feel bad too. But we talked for a long time before the wedding, but such a state was not so acutely felt. You begin to show not your "want", but respect for your soul mate, you take into account his interest in certain things, even if they seem simply funny to you. For example, this is difficult for me, because I have to break myself: go and cook his favorite pie, even if there is plenty of food in the refrigerator. "But he loves this cake so much!" - and you do. And so I wanted to read my favorite book at this time. This is already a small, but - a sacrifice.

If you love, then you should not have your own, otherwise you get sheer selfishness. I remember that both tired came from school late in the evening, we were sitting in the kitchen, having dinner. In the family of his parents it is not customary for a man to wash dishes, and for a long time I could not convince him that there is nothing shameful in this. I looked, got up, overstepped his “I don’t want”, and washes the dishes. My joy knew no bounds: it would seem a trifle, but you noticed my tired state - and this is important!

I outline in my diary how to spend the following days. Having finished my notes, I approach my husband with peace of mind, thinking how well everything is going this week. I announce: "Tomorrow I'm going to Valya, we haven't seen her for a long time," to which the interrogative sounds: "But what about our trip to my parents?" I remember that I agreed to this trip, which I really don't want to go on ...

Yes, I sometimes forget that now I am not one, but two of us, and everything must be coordinated. I don't know if we get a real family or not, but I know for sure that without concessions and sacrificial dedication in the family nothing will work. If there is sacrificial love, if two are trying to create a strong and friendly family, not one day, but maybe all 60 years of marriage, then, despite the difficulties that will naturally arise for you, the family will certainly be happy! I am sure of this, because you did not break someone else's family, did not take your husband away from another wife, as you know, you cannot build your happiness on someone else's misfortune. And she did not behave like a dissolute reveler, did not meet with everyone in a row, so that others would have the impression of you as a girl of easy virtue, but kept herself for the only one that was intended for you. And for your patience now, and then during family strife, the Lord will reward you with a happy family!

I would like my husband and I to have three nice children - the fruits of our love. And how else, you have to leave behind the educated offspring. My husband's work in his chosen field will also bring good results to the world. My role is to preserve, protect, decorate, and therefore work on the unquenchable warmth in our hearts.

I believe that we will succeed, because we are ready to work, and not just hope for a chance, for a good choice. The happiness of a person is always in his hands.

Yes, everything is very true, thank you for your sincerity.

aigerim, age: 3180 / 08/11/2016

Thank you. Written wisely and sincerely.

Asel, age: 35/09/2013

Religion loves to talk about sacrifice. Only sacrifice is selfish, because a person who performs such a feat does it, in fact, for himself. And the example of a "sacrificially loving wife" is completely rejected. It is rather not "sacrificial" but simply downtrodden. When the knives in the house are dull, despite the fact that there are as many as two adult men - somehow it is even indecent. If I had a similar situation, my fiancée would certainly have expressed her displeasure in a very unequivocal manner, and she would have been absolutely right. You can perform "feats in the name of love" for a long time. But one day it will break, and this love will turn into a dull anger or doom. On the other hand, you can do it more honestly and easier. No sacrifice is needed - it is better to just do what is most rational in a given situation. Personally, that's what I do.

Alexey, age: 04/30/2013

Yes, I love psychology. And here are some very real examples of different families. Very interesting article. It's nice to read a literate, well-read speech.

Lilia, age: 01/19/2013

In the article, Julia does not have any humiliation of others, and self-confidence in our difficult time for families is simply necessary! The author is clever!

Tatyana, age: 31 / 09.10.2012

A person enjoys what he has done with his own hands, and keeping the family hearth in good condition is worthy of respect.

grygoriy, age: 52/10/09/2012

Now I am even more convinced that cohabitation is bad. And I'm doing everything right, waiting for the one and only.

Nika, age: 19/02/2012

A very good and touching article.

Natalia, age: 32 / 08/21/2011

Family is not work possible without Love. Nice and informative article.

SADUKEY, age: 33/04/2011

Yulechka, you are just great! I wish you to take the Bible to guide your family.

V. M., age: 54 / 18.06.2011

THE ARTICLE IS VERY INTERESTING, I LIKED IT. I WANTED THAT WE HAVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE FAMILY, BUT I DO NOT GET IT. E. WE HAVE TWO: A SON AND A DAUGHTER.

SVETLANA, age: 02/25/2011

Yes, this is all, of course, very cool, when a complete family - mom, dad, child - I know it, or rather I knew it ... I now have two children, more precisely with us, but in fact now only I have it .. My husband died when the youngest daughter was 4 months old. And now my children will never know what it is - a complete, friendly family ... So I have only one question left, or rather two - WHAT is it for me and my children, and how to continue to live? ... Why is God so punished my children, are they not guilty of anything?

Alla, age: 27 / 28.01.2011

I would never have written this!)))) You are a GOOD MAN !!!))))))))))))

f, age: 16/06/2010

“After all, then Natasha will grow up and still understand that she was deceived” (c) It's good that at least in childhood Natasha will live with the hope that someday dad will come and everything will be BETTER. It’s good that this wonderful hope didn’t allow her little head to creep into dull reflections that “I don’t have a daddy ... everyone has, but I don’t. I’m probably some kind of inferior, some kind of wrong, not like that ... probably all because of me ... and so on. " Maybe the foreign psychologist advised her mother correctly? The girl will grow up - yes, she will understand that what she was told is not true, but her happy, cloudless childhood will be preserved. And this is very important (even Uncle Freud noticed that all the problems are from childhood)) it is better to bellow into the pillow one day in youth that childhood dreams were a lie and an invention than to feel inferior and unworthy of happiness throughout childhood.

Magdalena, age: 07/23/2010

Julia, I really like the style of your writing, your sincerity. Good thoughts. God help you in your aspirations and endeavors! Happy family life.

Ksenyushka, age: 28/16/2010

Yulenka, you write beautifully. You are very interesting to read (especially about the beauty contest I liked). But only, reading the end, I remembered the parable about the tax collector and the Pharisee: From Luke ch. 18: 9-14 "He also said to some, who were sure of themselves that they were righteous, and humiliated others, the following parable: two people entered the temple to pray: one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee, becoming, prayed in himself like this: God, I thank You that I am not like other people, robbers, offenders, adulterers, or like this publican: I fast twice a week, I give a tenth of everything that I acquire. even to raise his eyes to heaven; but, striking his chest, he said: God, be merciful to me a sinner! I tell you that this one went to his house justified more than that one: for everyone who exalts himself will be humiliated, but he who humbles himself will be exalted. " Joyful and happy family life for you! :)

Natalia Radulova)
The family needs a hierarchy ( Psychologist Lyudmila Ermakova)
Is there a "sexual incompatibility"?

Every year, about half a million children in the Russian Federation suffer from their parents' divorce.

Before I begin to describe in detail what, after all, the divorce of parents is for a child, you need to understand what kind of disadvantages and advantages a complete family gives to a child.

The main thing that a full-fledged family gives a child is, so to speak, a life "template", a standard of relationships both between family members as a whole, and between a man and a woman, and with the outside world in general.
A huge number of positive and negative situations are constantly happening in the world.
A complete family, faced with problems in everyday life, overcomes them much easier and more grove.
Children in such a family in such a family know that they are not alone, that dad and mom are always behind their backs, and they learn to overcome all difficult situations by the example of joint decisions (probably not always sure and accepted in disputes, but in the end joint) ...

Undoubtedly, the most important factor in a full-fledged family is the one that prepares the child for a future full-fledged independent life. It is also logical that living in a full-fledged family, he will gain the most versatile experience.
Even how the parents will be able to overcome all the difficulties associated with the divorce proceedings, what the family will lose or gain from this will give the child invaluable experience of how to act in one or another, similar situation in his personal adult life.
Now there are a number of definite psychological studies confirming that children of divorced parents already in their personal adult life face a certain set of difficulties already in their family.

In what situations does the need for a divorce arise?

The positive aspects of a full-fledged family for a child are visible to the naked eye.
Although, there are cases in which the separation of the parents will be beneficial not only to them, but also to the child. For example, in the event that every day there are quarrels, conflicts and all live on "slow-motion bomb". That is, it constantly contains clarifications of relations, sometimes with assault, and all family members are busy with reproaches, accusations against others - regrettably, we will have to admit that there is only one way out, namely, divorce.

I will say more, a divorce is necessary for the child himself, since after he there will appear at least some opportunity to harmonize the life of each of the spouses separately. Systematically facing all the tension, constantly flaring up quarrels and conflicts that are formed in the "empty space", the child feels doubly deprived and unhappy.
A family environment of this kind affects the mental state of the child more destructively than a measured and stable life with one of the parents.
But, you need to remember and know that although divorce will lead to an optimization of the life situation of all family members, or at least to a more emotionally stable atmosphere for the child, but for the children themselves, parental quarrels and, as a result, divorce is always a tragedy. even if this is the only way out of the current unsolvable situation.