Nutrition and diet 

The influence of society on the maternal instinct. Maternal instinct: is it there

Today we will talk about the maternal instinct. In the world, perhaps, there is not a single scientist who could clearly formulate the definition of the maternal instinct, since the very content of the concept of “maternal instinct” is not defined. The material presented in this article is an attempt to translate the conclusions of the research of both domestic and foreign scientists from the scientific language into the "universal" one. And since the concept of "maternal instinct" is widespread in our society and is surrounded by a large number of myths, I hope the following materials will help readers to better understand the nature of motherhood.

The concepts of motherhood, adopted in modern society, differ significantly from the images of mothers inherent in previous eras. For example, Lloyd de Mose describes a typical case for colonial Boston: “After supper, the mother put the children in a room where they slept alone, and the parents went to visit a neighbor. Upon return<...>the mother went to the bed and did not find the youngest child (a girl about five years old). After a long search, she was found falling into a well in their basement.<...>, the parents considered the death of the child a "punishment" for working on a holiday. " As you can see, the death of the child was not assessed by either the mother or the father as a result of their negligence, but only as "God's punishment" for violating religious rules that are not directly related to parenting.

This example is just a small indication of how children, motherhood and parenting were treated up to the end of the 18th century. Here, in the best possible way, the saying goes: "God gave, God took." In poor proletarian and peasant families (namely, such families made up the majority of the population of both Russia and Europe), another pregnancy was not perceived as a joy, because an “extra mouth” appeared in the family, and the woman lost her former working capacity for some time. And, on the contrary, the death of children was often perceived positively, as the family got rid of the “extra mouth”. Women from noble families considered breastfeeding shameful and hired wet nurses for their babies (women of the poor class, whose children died shortly after birth).

Motherly love, in the form in which we talk about it today, as the norm began to form only by the end of the 18th century. At the end of the 18th - beginning of the 19th century, the “new mother” begins to take care of the child differently: it becomes unfashionable to send the child to boarding schools, it becomes fashionable to communicate with the child, breastfeeding also becomes acceptable, which mothers of noble women decide on (in literature this is reflected in the image Natasha Rostova). It became a shame not to love children.

If we ask what the maternal instinct is in the minds of most people, we will get something like this: “This is the mother's love for the child, the desire to take care of him and take care of him, the desire to protect him from adversity, the willingness to give his life for him,” etc. ... But we all know cases when women kill their children, with their own hands or as a result of negligence. Numerous media outlets tell us about such cases, and, unfortunately, quite often ... It turns out, if there is a maternal instinct, then, as a biologically given to us, women, a phenomenon should be inherent in each of us? And what about women who leave their children in maternity hospitals, hand them over to orphanages and boarding schools? And what about women who lead an asocial lifestyle and simply forget to feed their children? Where is their maternal instinct?

At the same time, we know of cases when mothers sacrifice their own lives in order to save the life of a child (remember the stories about the war, when women covered children with their own bodies, substituting themselves for bullets, but saving the lives of children?) grief associated with the death of children born or never had time to be born, selflessly nursing seriously ill babies, refusing any benefits and comfort ...

Even if we do not talk about extreme cases, out of the ordinary, then almost every prosperous (we will accept this conditional concept to describe healthy mothers of healthy babies) mother loyally takes care of her child, sacrifices sleep and rest, and sometimes relationships with her husband, refuses many benefits and pleasures, giving all of himself to the baby. Sometimes she is overcome by fatigue, and she cries from powerlessness, but still continues to fulfill her maternal duty, feels a physical connection with the baby, does not tolerate, even a short-term, separation from him.

Scientists' studies have reliably confirmed that the formation of maternal behavior is significantly influenced by the social environment (the expectations of others from the woman, the threat to social status, attitudes towards illegitimate pregnancy, career interests, etc.), as well as the traditions of motherhood adopted in society in every historical period.

So, in cases where the birth of a child is not welcomed or even condemned by the social environment, women use various, including very harsh, methods to get rid of the child. And this already applies not only to past times, but also to the present. So, there are still cases in villages when the illegitimate child of a single woman (young and not so) is either killed by his own mother, or thrown to strangers, or left in the hospital. The unlucky mother hides the fact of her pregnancy and childbirth (she often succeeds in this) and hopes that life will go on as usual, as before.

In addition, the formation of maternal qualities and what we call the maternal instinct is significantly influenced by the experience of a woman in relationships with her own mother. Motherhood arises in a woman not when she gave birth, but when she was born herself. It is the earliest experience of a girl's relationship with her mother that lays in her the abilities necessary for the implementation of motherhood, such as: sensuality and sensitivity, trust and the ability to self-sacrifice, sincerity and tenderness, as well as unconditional love for children.

Women who had difficulties in relationships with mothers, who lacked maternal love and affection, experience serious difficulties in their own motherhood. As an extreme option, they abandon motherhood altogether, giving preference to career interests, or shift the care of the child onto the shoulders of the state (placing the child in social institutions), in milder cases, the care of the child is shifted onto the shoulders of relatives (grandmothers and aunts), hired assistants (nannies). At the same time, if a woman-mother belongs to socially prosperous strata of the population, then the transfer of maternal functions to third parties always takes place under a plausible pretext (you cannot interrupt your studies at a university, you cannot lose a prestigious job, you urgently need to defend a thesis, etc.), which, however, upon closer examination, it turns out to be untenable (you can always take an academic leave, a career can be made after parental leave, as well as a dissertation).

Women from lower social strata find excuses less "exalted" - no money, nowhere to live, and absolutely amazing argument: "You need to arrange a personal life." Any successful and loving mother will confirm: all the arguments presented are not worth a penny. But even if a woman, disliked by her own mother in childhood, brings up her child herself, she more often than other mothers gets irritated with him, gets tired of him faster and more often, and experiences the forced social isolation associated with caring for the baby more acutely. It goes without saying that the children of such mothers have a higher risk of developing emotional and behavioral disorders, and are more likely to get sick.

Researchers who prefer a sociocentric position are convinced that the maternal instinct is a myth. In their opinion, motherly love is a concept that not only evolves, but is also filled with different content in different periods of history. Three main social female roles are considered: mother, wife and free woman, and different female roles dominate in different epochs: "A woman becomes a better or worse mother, depending on whether motherhood is valued or depreciated in society." In this case, motherhood is one of the social female roles, so even if the need to be a mother is inherent in the female nature, social norms and values ​​have a decisive influence on motherhood.

It is not worth explaining that a person, in spite of reason and spirituality, is also a biological being, and much that is inherent in animals is inherent in us. Just like all mammals, women feed their babies with breast milk, and the process of conceiving and bearing a fetus is not so different from how it happens in animals of the order of mammals. In this regard, ethological scientists have carried out and are conducting research related to caring for offspring, observing representatives of the animal world and finding signs of similarity with how it happens in humans. One of the most prominent representatives of ethology, Bowlby, developed the concept of the formation of attachment, which is an essential condition not only for the normal development of a child, but also for his survival.

The phenomenon of attachment was originally described in animals and birds, as an example is a goose and its brood, which relentlessly follows it. It turns out that the formation of attachment between mother and baby is just as important for a person. It is formed gradually, even from the moment of conception, and reaches its peak seven to eight months after the birth of the child. The formation of a mother's attachment to her baby is a biological rather than social or psychological process, and it occurs under the influence of both instinctive reactions (to the smile and "cooing" of the child, his facial expression and dependence on the mother), and hormonal changes occurring in the body of the mother and during pregnancy, and during childbirth, and during breastfeeding. So, some smells associated with the life of the baby are perceived by mothers as pleasant, while everyone around them wrinkles their noses.

In general, the development of mother's attachment to her baby after childbirth, from a physiological point of view, contains three important components:

    The presence of the baby alters the level of hormones in the mother's blood (estrogens, progestins, testosterone and prolactin) that stimulate maternal behavior in the woman. When the mother and the newborn are separated, the level of the corresponding hormones changes, and a stressful hormonal picture is formed.

    Bodily and emotional contact between mother and baby in the first 36 hours after birth provides an adequate hormonal response in the mother's body and promotes the formation of attachment between them during the neonatal period.

    Breastfeeding, supported by the hormone prolactin, stimulates the production of endorphins, which provides physiological support for the development of attachment.

So, maternal behavior is influenced by three main factors:

    Biological (genetically inherent forms of behavior and reactions, hormonal changes);

    Social (traditions of motherhood adopted in society, the influence of the closest social environment);

    Psychological (personal history of a woman, experience of relationships with her own mother).

Summarizing the above, we can say that maternal care and attachment to a child are so deeply embedded in the real biological conditions of conception and gestation, childbirth and breastfeeding that only complex social attitudes can completely suppress them. Women by their very nature are mothers, unless they will be specially taught to deny their childbearing qualities: “Society must distort their self-awareness, pervert the innate patterns of their development, commit a whole series of abuse during their upbringing, so that they stop wanting to take care of their child , at least for several years, for they had already fed him for nine months in the safe haven of their bodies ”(M. Mead).

Where pregnancy is punishable by social disapproval and offensive to marital feelings, women can go to great lengths not to bear children. If a woman's sense of the adequacy of her sexual role is grossly distorted, if childbirth is hidden by anesthesia, which prevents a woman from realizing that she has given birth to a child, and breastfeeding is replaced by artificial feeding according to pediatric prescriptions, then in these conditions a significant violation of maternal feelings is revealed.

No one can explain exactly what the maternal instinct is, but by studying the question asked in the topic of the article, we got the opportunity to find out how difficult and subtle the path to successful motherhood is, and this knowledge only increases its value.

Instructions

Pregnancy and motherhood are often frightening, which is completely natural. After all, this time will be very different from everything that happened to you before: there will be responsibility for another person, who at first will completely depend on you. While there are books, lectures, and courses on motherhood that can help, it still cannot be taught until it comes. Nevertheless, it is believed that the maternal instinct will help out a woman and help her make the right decision in any case. But what if he doesn't wake up? The belly is already big enough, but there is still no instinct. It happens that childbirth has already passed, but the woman still does not feel drawn by this instinct.

The fact that the maternal instinct sometimes does not wake up immediately is completely normal. It is a biological phenomenon, natural and natural. But people in their way of life have become very far from nature, so many natural things are mixed with cultural prejudices or are completely lost against their background. The maternal instinct is one of the main features of the development of mankind, without which it would not have survived. Even if he is still asleep, over time he will wake up in you, be sure.

It happens that the maternal instinct in a woman is so strong that she feels that she will become a mother even before she sees the test result. In other women, tenderness and love for the unborn baby appears during pregnancy. Still others only after childbirth understand that this is their child, at the same time they begin to realize how deeply they love this creature that burst into their life with the first cry.

There are also women who are already returning home from the hospital, but still do not feel the "promised" maternal love for the baby. The responsibilities of caring are burdensome, sometimes even depression is imminent. It is very difficult to admit to others that you do not have much love for a lump that always requires attention and crying, and this plunges into even more stress. In this situation, to begin with, stop reproaching yourself and thinking that something is wrong with you. Are you okay.

If the maternal instinct does not wake up by itself, try to focus on communication with the child. Usually, the strongest feelings for a baby arise precisely during contact with him. Talk to him, smile at him, drink lullabies, read books that you love to him, listen to music together. Try to involve him in your business, so that he is simply present with them, while constantly communicating with the baby, put him next to you at night. Soon you will see that you feel the baby much better, you understand what to do with him, that he has become a close person to you. Sometimes the awakening of the maternal instinct is facilitated by the special attention that a young mother pays to caring for the baby, for example, if he

What is maternal instinct and how does it arise? Is it possible to educate him, or is it an innate quality? Why may the desire to take care of a baby be absent?

The concept of "maternal instinct" is understood as an innate or arising immediately after childbirth need to be close to the baby, and if necessary, to protect him. Surely you know (or maybe you think so too) that any girl must have a maternal instinct. Its absence is seen as a kind of pathology. But more and more often there are those who deny that they have a maternal instinct and even a desire to give birth and raise children.

When maternal instinct awakens

Physicians and psychologists agree that maternal instinct is a multifactorial and poorly understood phenomenon. Its occurrence depends on several factors:

Hormones During Pregnancy, or Hormonal Factor

  • The balance of female sex hormones plays a special role in the emergence of the maternal instinct. High progesterone levels throughout pregnancy and a drop in progesterone levels before childbirth, as well as an increase in estrogen levels, prepare us for motherhood and stimulate the emergence of a feeling of tenderness for the baby.
  • Immediately after childbirth, the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for lactation, and the hormone oxytocin, which helps to contract the uterus, begin to be released - they enhance the awakening of the maternal instinct.
  • When you start breastfeeding, each time you feed, not only is it actively secreted, but also endorphins, natural opiates that cause euphoria and the desire to stay with your baby as long as possible. That is why it is so important in the first moments after childbirth to give the baby a breast for at least a couple of minutes.
Many doctors compare the hormonal storm in the body of a newly-made mother with a similar hormonal storm during a period of active love.

Psychology of a pregnant woman, or the Psychological factor

This term means a complex psychological picture that was formed in the consciousness and subconsciousness of the expectant mother throughout her life:

  • The presence of a positive picture of motherhood throughout life (for example, in the family where the girl grew up, there was a loving and caring mother, there were many positive examples of motherhood in the environment, the social role of the mother was approved in the family and school, etc.).
  • Understanding of the maternal role and active involvement in it during a planned and desired pregnancy.
  • A subconscious feeling of support from the husband and relatives.
Of particular importance for the inclusion of the maternal instinct is imprinting or imprinting - tactile and eye contact in the first hours after childbirth between mother and baby.

Belated maternal instinct

Maternal instinct may not arise immediately. The delay in the onset of the maternal instinct may depend on the traumatic factors that affected the mother and baby during childbirth:

  • difficult childbirth;
  • large blood loss;
  • somatic diseases in a mother or baby, aggravated or revealed after childbirth;
  • prolonged lack of contact with the baby after childbirth;
  • many doctors note a delay in the onset of the maternal instinct in the event or drug load during childbirth.

Lack of maternal instinct

Maternal instinct is not our innate feature. It is no secret that there are girls who do not want to have and raise children. Scientists are inclined to the idea that for natural reasons in the human population, about 7-8% of women and men are deprived of this instinct.

Even at the stage of pregnancy planning, it is worth analyzing your desire to have a baby - by whom and what it is dictated by.

If the pregnancy was desired and planned, then even if the first day after giving birth you do not feel love for the child, there is nothing wrong with that. The maternal instinct will surely "catch up" with you, if you do not resist it.

Adalind Koss

In psychology, the concepts of motherhood are relatively new, but they have already included a variety of knowledge. How does a woman get a desire to have a child? When does the understanding of being ready to become a mother come?

What is maternal instinct

It is impossible to give a clear description of the concept of maternal instinct. Everyone understands it in their own way. Scientists claim that hormones are the cause of its appearance. Psychologists are sure that the matter is in the influence of the subconscious. And historians generally attribute it to a social phenomenon. But let's not take into account the interpretation, but consider what the motherhood instinct is from the standpoint of the changes that occur under its influence:

Adding responsibility.

Here it is even more correct to say not an addition, but a transformation in some way. In other words, this feeling transforms caring for and responsibility for the baby into pleasant and easy emotions. As a result, the fear of error disappears, faith in one's own actions arises.

More peace of mind.

When the instinct of motherhood awakens, the requirement to tune in to the positive or to find something that lifts the mood disappears. A positive attitude is the norm for mom. Yesterday you were full of worries that something would be wrong. But after the discovery of the instinct of motherhood, you are confident in a positive outcome of affairs.

This instinct helps not to panic without good reason, not to be afraid to feed, rock the baby, bathe.

If earlier you had to consult a doctor on every little thing, now the state of affairs has changed. In an inexplicable way, it becomes clear to you when and what to do. The instinct tells how to help the baby when his teeth are teething, colic, how to establish a daily routine.

Components of the maternal instinct

Women are born, and they become a mother. The maternity instinct is not an innate reaction of the body. This behavior, which includes the fulfillment of maternal needs in connection with the baby, in the protection and care of him. It is also the necessity of the mother's feelings for the child.

The need for communication with the baby is the first need. This is the basis for the following. When it is performed, a woman is visited by pleasant emotions. They are obtained from direct communication with the baby, when feeding, bathing, rocking, etc.

The need for protection and care is another component of the maternal instinct. This includes the desire to help, feed, protect the child from external threats, negative influences. Often women learn similar things from their own mothers, as well as from watching other mothers. But some moments cannot be known in advance, because they have a natural character.

The need for motherhood is considered the most difficult. A woman thinks, analyzes her condition, emotions. This is a special feeling. It appears because of the mother's thoughts about the future baby, about the accumulated experience, family models. A woman satisfies all needs only by giving birth to a child. But why does such a manifestation of feelings for the baby occur?

appearance of the crumbs. Everyone knows that babies have a special smell. Women often react sharply to this. Yes, almost no one can resist wide-open eyes, plump little hands and velvet skin;

special behavior. The behavior of babies is very special. The crumbs are awkward, slow, they are not able to live on their own. But such oddities awaken the instinct of motherhood, the need for care;

the results of the crumbs' activity. This includes the sounds that the baby makes, facial expressions, smeared paints, the first collected pyramids, and other results. This behavior of children is delightful.

The emergence of the maternal instinct

The mother's instinct and its expressions are permanent and special in all women. By the time the baby appears, the mother has a complex, which consists of skills and knowledge about care, relationships, emotions, and their necessity. All this is united by one term - the mother sphere. It is she who is called the motherhood instinct. In the course of its formation, there are several stages:

Communication with your mother.

This stage begins when you are in the womb of your mother, and it lasts throughout your life. This interaction helps to understand the emotional essence of communication between the child and the mother, caring for the baby. Here children's values ​​are laid, an emotional basis for interacting with your baby is formed.

Development of the mother's instinct in games.

This instinct begins to actively develop at the moment when girls play as mothers and daughters. A doll is a model of a baby, this is how the main principles of caring for a baby are being worked out.

Expectant mothers babysit the crumbs in childhood, and due to this, in addition to mastering skills, there is a keen interest in the baby, a positive perception. This is where the founding of the values ​​of motherhood takes place. It is important to play nanny before puberty.

Communication with your own baby.

It is during this period that the manifestation of the experience that the mother has collected during her life takes place. This stage starts from. Further, the formation of the instinct of motherhood is helped by the movement of the child, which the mother should feel without dissatisfaction or anxiety.

This is followed by the process of childbirth. Many expectant mothers are afraid of them. The most acceptable attitude to this process is the formula that childbirth is a creative complex task. After the birth of the baby, the woman is forming an individual mood for caring for him. This attitude depends a lot on tactile contact with the baby. It includes the first fears and concerns for the baby, the process of adaptation to his characteristics and to himself, the emergence of joy from contact with the baby.

Now there is a belief in the correctness of actions. The baby shows affection for the mother, which also activates the mother's instinct. The kid is more pleased with the appearance of his mother than the rest. The mother shares with the baby the joy of new discoveries.

Over time, a woman develops an individual style of attitude towards the baby. He is usually normal, anxious, distant, emotionally cold, or unstable. With a normal attitude, the mother constantly increases interest in the baby, she spends maximum time with him.

Readiness for motherhood

But, unfortunately, the readiness for motherhood is not found in all the fairer sex. The reasons why the instinct of motherhood disappears is the lack of desire to become a mother. But she is not the only one. The desire to give birth to a baby is, of course, important for the feeling of being ready to become a mother, but this is not enough. The birth of a child is a rather serious event, therefore it is worth treating it more responsibly than purchasing an apartment or a car. But remember that some moments appear only after the birth of the baby, and their lack is made up for by love for the baby. So, important features for a mother-to-be:

personality maturity. This should include the feeling of being a woman, the skills of making serious decisions, and taking responsibility for one's own actions on oneself. This is the ability to form normal relationships, compassion, the ability to live in the present moment, creative inclinations, the ability to receive joy from life;

the adequacy of ideas about the parental role, about their tasks. Adequate attitude towards contact and upbringing of the baby plays a serious role. It is important to have the right motive to become parents. The desire to have a baby to save the family is wrong and stupid. But the birth of a crumb in the form of a continuation of love between a husband and wife is an adequate solution;
adequate attitude towards the baby. Experts describe 3 types of crumbs value: emotional (positive feelings in the mother during communication with the baby), high emotional (high concentration on the baby), displacement of the independent value of the baby (the child gives the mother a status, she gets rid of the fear of loneliness in old age);

mother's competence. This includes sensitivity to the baby, the ability to understand his condition, the ability to adapt to his rhythm, flexibility, the presence of knowledge about children's age characteristics;
formed maternal instinct. To be ready to become a mother, the fair sex needs to go through all the steps of the formation of the maternal instinct. As a result, she develops an awareness of the value of the baby, a special feeling, a need, and the skills of caring for a baby appear.

March 31, 2014