Male upbringing of the son. How to raise a modern boy to be a real man tips

08.07.2019

Modern women complain that there are no real men capable of actions and recognition in nature. But how would you like to have a confident, courageous and strong young man nearby!

Let us tell you a secret: real men don't appear out of nowhere. Their character, hardened and firm, comes from childhood, and with the right upbringing and wise actions on the part of the boy's parents, he eventually grows into a Prince on a white horse and a Knight in shining armor.

But how to educate a child so as not to be mistaken in the correctness of pedagogical methods? How not to transfer his will and character with prohibitions, and at the same time not "overheat" with endless love and affection, raising a notorious guy from a child?

Features of raising a boy: age stages

From birth to 6 years

Although the baby manifests itself as a real "adult" person, he is still dependent on his mother. The baby is constantly looking for her, needs care and affection, sticking to the mother's skirt and unable to tear himself away from her. The goal of upbringing is to create a sense of security and confidence in the boy.

From 6 to 14 years old

The boy wants to become a man as soon as possible, while still not tearing himself away from his mother and considering her a close person. The goal of upbringing is to increase the level of his knowledge and intensively develop his abilities, combining this with instilling openness and kindness in the child.

From 14 to 18 years old

A growing man needs a mentor, while sometimes choosing for this role not only a father, but a teacher or coach. The main goal is to teach life skills, instill a sense of self-respect and unquestioning responsibility for actions.

Choosing the right tactics

In these difficult periods of the formation of the child's personality, mothers choose, as it seems to them, the most effective way of upbringing - struggle, trying to crush at the root of attempts to explore everything and become an unquestioning leader. Showing courage and, at times, aggression, boys receive in return the fight and battle with which their mother goes to them.

It is absolutely impossible to do so. Instead of prohibitions, choose the way of "trust and freedom" for yourself. Give your child the opportunity to explore this world on their own, carefully adjusting the impressions received.

In such a difficult period, the role of the pope in his formation will become decisive. It is he who, by his wise example, will show the child a “man's” life and introduce him to his hobbies and system of values, showing important life priorities.

Who if not the father? Difficulties in parenting without a father

As Igor Sergeyevich Kon, an authoritative and recognized psychologist, writes in his book, one cannot trust experts who claim that difficult teenagers grow up in single-parent families.

Yes, raising a child is not an easy task if a mother has to raise her son alone, and there is no grandfather, no uncle, or older brother nearby. After all, the father's personal example is that important model of behavior that the baby copies and transfers to his future life priorities.

How to behave correctly and what mistakes should not be made?

Choose for the image and likeness of a person you trust. If there is no grandfather or uncle nearby, they may well be a teacher, coach, or even a neighbor. Let as many correct men as possible be present in the life of a teenager.
Raising a child without a husband, a mother can choose a role model for the goodies of good films or books.
Be on an equal footing with the child, because a powerless mother grows up a weak-willed son, and an overly caring one will become a rebel.
Teach your child to be independent: let him put away toys, wash dishes, put books in place. You should not resort to help immediately - this will lead to the fact that the entire life of an already grown child will rely only on you.
The position of "a weak and defenseless woman" is not the worst option for upbringing: become for your son a tender mother, affectionate, caring - just not a magician who decides any questions. The fine line of upbringing must be observed.
Praise your child and repeat more often that he will succeed. This will reinforce a sense of meaning in him.
Trust your child and let him be free so that when he grows up he can become a real man who knows how to resolve conflicts and find answers to questions.

“Don't be a girl!” Or how to raise a boy without making a biscuit out of him?

Many of us have heard stern words from young mothers: "Don't cry, boys don't cry!" But such an attempt to suppress the child's emotions will only lead to the fact that he will stop trusting you, close in himself with his feelings, transferring "emotional stinginess" to the partner in the future.

Being a man doesn't mean being callous and rude. On the contrary, it means courage, strength and generosity, with the manifestation of patience and love for those who are weaker than him a priori. Open the door, help make repairs, transfer the weight or support in difficult times - future men should perceive these things as the most important in life.

Correctly raising a boy means following the chosen upbringing program, understanding what methods of influence are required for a boy at a certain stage of development.

Four "fences" for the upbringing of adolescent boys

Verbal agreement or "first warning"

This type of upbringing assumes that you agree with your child about his responsibilities, while not threatening or demanding from him to fulfill them unquestioningly, and, moreover, not punishing him.

Rubber "wattle" or "clear boundaries"

If your child is unaware that a violation of the established agreement could lead to some kind of trouble, establish a punishment for the misbehavior.

Harsh measures or "brick fence"

This level of parenting should be turned on when a child tries to get out of the box and jeopardizes his personality. To prevent the boy from getting into trouble, choose stricter frameworks and rules of behavior for him.

The most difficult or "concrete fence"

Not succumbing to any prohibitions, another child begins to pose a danger not only to himself, but also to other people. He screams, indulges, outright dirty tricks, or even gets involved in bad companies. The time is coming for drastic measures, when parents must monitor the child around the clock.

Hyperactive adolescents: the intricacies of the approach

Sometimes the child behaves very disobedient. Is this character traits or does he just not want to listen to prohibitions and requests? Maybe this is a sign of hyperactivity?

If your son cannot sit still, is constantly distracted, impulsive and quick in everything, you may have a hyperactive teenager growing up. Yes, it's not easy with him, he harasses both parents and teachers, getting into the list of difficult children, his parents are constantly called to school, they complain about the child, but the issue of upbringing is not resolved.

What to do?

Investigate the problem and consult a specialist

If your family has this problem and you are raising a hyperactive child, just admit it to yourself. You need to love him with all the difficulties and difficulties, not letting your son's recovery take its course. Read all about hyperactivity disorder and talk to a psychologist about it.

Help your kid organize the day

Your attention deficit child needs to set boundaries and boundaries, so your first priority will be to help them organize their daily routine.

Remember that it is incredibly difficult for such a kid to quickly switch from one activity to another. He is very distracted, forgetful and, carried away by something, forgets about everything.

Try to find a hobby or hobby for him.

Do not give up if the child is complained and scolded: you run the risk of getting angry and start to put pressure on the teenager with harsh methods. This is unacceptable, because you can focus your son's attention on something that he will like and will like. For example, give it to the sports section.

Teach your child to take breaks from work

A hyperactive teenager is not able to indulge in the same business for a long time, so it is necessary to share the load. If we are talking about lessons, then it is worth doing them with breaks: 30 minutes of work and 20 minutes of rest, then start work again.

Be clear about your claims

When your son is wrong, tell him about it in a few short phrases, formulating the requirements clearly and specifically.

Empower teachers to provide parenting assistance

Let the teachers help you in raising your child and cooperate with the teachers: they will not only work in the wings, but will also relieve you a little.

Support and praise your baby for his merits.

Support the hyperactive child and celebrate any accomplishments - especially those when he has managed to cope with the inappropriate behavior on his own.

How to raise a son as a real man?

Of course, any parents choose their own principles for raising their son. So, some focus on reading books, others take him to sports, and still others from childhood teach him to work in the house and on the street.

But the most important thing in raising a child is an example that he will follow, and if parents are trying to raise their son as a real man, a person, hardworking and strong, then they must comply with these priorities: to love work, order and cleanliness, to play sports.

And, finally, once again about the rules of education

Let the example of a real man be in front of your child's eyes. The main thing is that it is positive.
Make your child feel like a real man by allowing him to participate in household chores. Engage your son in work and suggest how to do something right.
Show your child a personal example of how you treat ladies. To raise his son properly, a father must demonstrate to his son how to behave with women using the example of a mother: to protect her, take care and look after her.
Let your son make his own decisions. Let him understand that they are followed by responsibility and make only the right choice.
Praise your child, just don't overdo it! Just emphasize how brave and strong, smart and courageous you have, even if he is not. Any boy wants to become a real man for you.

Do not be rude to the child and do not show your "masculinity". The son's mother should be gentle and only thanks to her the child will finally understand how important it is to appreciate and love women.

Small but very important findings

Raising a boy is not an easy process and it lasts almost the whole life, because for any mother, her son will always remain a child. The most important thing is that you have time to put the right life priorities into him, and then he will not stumble on the road of life, becoming a real man whom you will be proud of!

Let's figure out, together with a psychologist, how to properly raise a boy to his father. What mistakes are most often made by dads, and how to avoid them.

Perhaps most men, preparing to become fathers, dream of having a son. They imagine in advance what this boy should be, and how he then needs to be brought up. Meanwhile, according to psychologists, it is precisely these fathers who subsequently do not get along well with their sons. And the sons themselves have a bunch of complexes and life does not go well. Let's try to figure out why this is happening, and how to avoid it.

Of course, it is good to represent the strategy and tactics of child rearing. But, unfortunately, the talent to raise children correctly is the same gift of nature, as well as the ability to draw, sing, etc. situations. But not all are endowed with outstanding abilities in the field of pedagogy. And even if a person is sure that he is doing everything right, he can be wrong.

Where does the confidence in the correctness of their actions come from? Most of us take our parents' behavior as a model and consider it the norm. As we were raised in childhood, so we are raising our children. We were beaten, and we are beaten. We were frightened with "horror stories" like grandma-hedgehogs, and we scare. And we are not particularly worried about the possible consequences of our actions, because we do not know about them. The consequences of the wrong actions of the parents can be very serious.

What about those who want to educate their children correctly? Read books on child psychology written by psychologists especially for parents. Or at least read the article. Then you will at least roughly imagine the correct strategy and tactics for raising a child, you will know what parents can do and what cannot.

Take it as it is

Now it will be easy to answer the question: why do fathers, for whom the birth of a son was desired, who already know in advance how they will raise their boy, and what he will become in the future, often do not get along with their offspring? It's just that dads are trying to fit the child to their ideal. When that doesn't work out, fathers get frustrated. And the child feels that he is not accepted or appreciated for who he is. Maybe they don't even like it.

Father and son dissatisfaction with each other does not contribute to a good relationship between them. Excessive severity and fear of the father can even significantly slow down the development of the child. Therefore, love and accept your offspring as he is. And it is possible that on this fertile soil you will be able to cultivate in him those masculine qualities that you want to see in your son.

Senior friend

Communicate with your son not as a strict boss, but as an older friend and mentor. You can bring up in different ways. You can force to carry out your orders from a position of strength. But this will give birth to a desire in the child to resist psychological and physical abuse on your part. Do you think, in this case, the child will accept with gratitude all the good things that you want to teach him? No. At best, he will carry out your orders only formally, rejecting in his heart.

Do you want to help your child master some skills, get rid of bad habits and develop good ones? Do not force him, but kindly explain why such behavior is unprofitable and how it can be corrected. Be patient and control yourself. Patience and endurance are one of the main qualities of a good educator.

Guide to the world of men

Find a common hobby. For example, many boys are interested in cars. But due to their age, they practically do not have access to real cars. On this wave, the father can become very close to the son. Even with a small child, you can talk about the automotive topic. Playing with children's toy cars, explain the rules of the road. Show the tools used to repair real cars. To acquaint the child with their names and purpose. When repairing a real car, show and explain to your son what and how you are doing. Well, let him not understand anything, but you will have a pleasant time together. Just conduct your "classes" in a friendly way, as if by the way. There is no need to pretend to be a strict teacher for whom it is very important whether the material has been mastered.

Usually teenagers dream of becoming adults as soon as possible. Driving is one of those activities that only adults can do. Your son will be grateful for your help and support in preparing for the driving license exam. Moreover, you can start preparing in advance, before attending driving courses. For example, help you learn the rules of the road. Show how you can independently eliminate certain malfunctions in the car. All this will soon come in handy for your son.

About masculinity

Every father dreams of raising a real man from his son. He wants the boy in the future to become not feminine, but masculine. What is masculinity? It is customary to invest in this concept the strength of mind and body, uncompromising attitude and "the ability to stand up for oneself."

In general, everything is clear with the spirit and body: the child needs to be tempered, developed, loved and tried not to injure his psyche. With uncompromising attitude and "the ability to stand up for oneself", things are not so simple. Uncompromising is a quality inherent in people who are weak and, in this regard, inflexible. It is much healthier and more profitable to be flexible, that is, to be able, without compromising on your principles, to take into account the interests of your opponent. This skill has no gender, like most human qualities.

When they talk about the ability to stand up for themselves, they mean excitability and aggressiveness. It is believed that boys who are constantly bullied by their peers do not have enough aggression. In fact, both children, who are reputed to be angry and pugnacious, and their constant victims, are more aggressive. It's just that the “victims” have it, as it were, “upside down” and is expressed by fear, which not only prevents the child from adequately resisting violence, but also provokes an attack by fighters.

These problems, unlike most others, are much more common in boys than in girls. Dealing with them is not easy, but there are ways. First of all, one should not shame the "cowardly" boy and teach him to fight. It will only get worse. In addition, he can begin to offend the weak, which is not at all good.

Go the other way. First, stop pushing him psychologically and never hit him. Often the reason for such problems in a child lies precisely in this. Second, find an activity that your son enjoys. It's good if it is creativity or sport. Third, spend more time together. Enjoy it. Chat about topics that are interesting to your son. Try to do it in a friendly way. Take an interest in what's going on in your son's life. Support his endeavors. Praise for, even small, but still successes and achievements. Respect his opinion about certain things. Speak carefully and kindly about your son's shortcomings. Explain why they are not beneficial for any man and how they can be corrected. Help him with this.

Educate by example

Many of us have already heard that children take the behavior of their parents as a model. If in words an adult teaches one thing, but he himself usually acts differently, then the child will take actions as a model, and not words.

This fact deprives us of the main fatherly hope that our sons will be better than us. And to admit the idea that in terms of behavior they will be our copy is sometimes just scary.

Just imagine that in 20 years an adult man will live in your house, not inclined to clean up the dishes, leaving puddles and dirty socks on the bathroom floor, and beer bottles on the table near the computer. He will also lie on the couch in front of the TV, wander around at night it is not clear where, forget that he promised to buy food for breakfast, answer our questions evasively and constantly think about women.

Then, not even one o'clock, he will bring to our home some cheeky girl with piercings, blue hair or something else terrible, who will ignore us and behave like a business, and then she will be pregnant. Nightmare! What to do?

There is no need to panic. Even if the son has already grown up and managed to pick up bad traits and habits, not all is lost. Even a teenager is not yet an adult, but a child. So you still have time to maneuver. Correct your behavior. Set a good example for your son day after day. Show both in words and in deeds how it should be right. Explain to your child how the bad habit that you want to eradicate is disadvantageous for a man. Suggest ways to solve the problem. Don't forcefully, but kindly help reinforce the correct behavior. How to do this in practice is described in the next chapter.

Solve problems with the game

Let me give you an example of how parents can help children get rid of bad habits. Moreover, it is practically painless for both. The story is real. So, there was a boy. For a long time, he had the habit of throwing dirty socks all over his room. A lot of them accumulated in the room, several pairs (after all, socks are changed every day). The teenager carried them to the basket with dirty laundry exclusively at the request of adults. It was not possible in any way to teach the child to independently and timely perform this procedure. But a solution was found that solved a long-standing problem in one day.

First, they explained to the teenager why this habit is disadvantageous to him: “Guests will come, but you cannot invite them, because dirty socks are lying around. And so it will be throughout life, because the habit is already entrenched. It is possible that this will spoil your relationship with others, because people do not like and do not respect slut (this, by the way, is a fact). Let's try to develop a new habit. This will only take about two to three weeks. And then it will become your natural behavior, it will not require any efforts from you, it will be convenient for you to act in a new way ”. A love agreement between an adult and a child is necessary so that the latter not only explicitly, but even secretly rejects the new idea, but, ideally, is interested in the final result.

Secondly, a new rule was proposed to the teenager: when an adult finds dirty socks in his room, the child must wash them by hand (this skill will come in handy in the army). How many pairs the parent finds, the boy will have to wash. The teenager was told that washing socks is not a punishment. Just in order for the skill (the ability to wash socks) to be firmly entrenched, you need to train from time to time, conduct such kind of lessons. Parent: “When are we going to see them? Come on when I find dirty socks in your room. They will become your teaching aid. We will kill two birds with one stone at the same time: you will learn how to remove socks on time and wash them. " The teenager may not have been thrilled with the new rules, but he didn't mind too much.

When it all began, neither the adult nor the child thought that they were setting the rules for the future GAME. From that day on, the parent began to vigilantly hunt for dirty socks (as for prey, a trophy) in order to catch the child on a small loss. But he did not succeed for a very long time, because the child successfully coped with his task from the very first day.

From the side, the hunt looked like this. The parent walked around the room and looked into secluded places, saying to himself: “Now I’ll look under the table ... Yeah, there is nothing under the table. Well, nothing, I'll find it anyway ... Now I'll look under the sofa. There is always something lying around ... ". At this time, the child, with bated breath, followed the search: what if, somewhere, something really was lying around.

In addition, during the game, it was necessary to determine the place for those socks that the teenager would still need that day. This place was the crossbar under the seat of the chair, on which the child usually folds his clothes. Occasionally the parent was able to find there a neatly hung "flowing" pair.

At first, in order to remind the child of the new rules and thereby save him from disappointment due to constant losses, the parent, as if playfully frightening the child, blabbed about plans to hunt in the very near future: "Now I will go look for dirty socks." And he did it with such an intonation, with which they usually say the phrase: "Now I will catch you" during the game. After these words, the child imperceptibly disappeared and after a few minutes, as if nothing had happened, came back. Later, such a leak of information was no longer required. The child himself successfully controlled the "cycle of socks in nature."

If you do sock washing classes, still behave in a friendly way: do not force, but teach how to do it right. Explain to the child the order of the procedure: first, washing and rinsing from the front and back sides, and then squeezing the socks. After that, leave the child alone, do not pester him with advice every second, do not criticize, silently follow the process. You can nod and gag approvingly, and unobtrusively praise. Remember, it's up to you to explain how the socks are washed, and the child must manage the process.

If you notice that the offspring is cheating, you can, in a friendly way, be indignant that he is cheating, skipping some stages (thereby violating the rules of the game). Remember, both of you are still playing. Treat your child's grumbling during the wash calmly, with understanding. Remember, he's already stung by the loss. And therefore it is possible that this whole situation of the child is annoying. Don't make him even more angry with your instructions.

You probably already guessed why this case is described in such detail. It's not about the socks, of course. The principle itself is important. Children (including teenagers) love to play. Therefore, with the help of the game, they can be taught many useful things. Take note of this idea.

Housework

By being friendly with your son, you can teach him literally everything. Even those matters that are primordially considered feminine. It depends on what sauce you serve them. As the lot of those who are unlucky enough to be born women. Or as the skills of a real man who knows how to do everything and therefore will not disappear anywhere.

The second position is much more profitable. For example, you don't have to wonder if your student child is starving away from home if you taught him to cook as a child. It is not necessary to educate the boy as a future chef, but it is very desirable to teach him how to cook simple dishes. By doing this, you will save your child not only from hunger, but also from the manipulations of the future wife: "Oh, you, so and so, will cook for yourself!" Those men who do not know how to cook, willy-nilly, have to make concessions to their wife, because hunger is not the worst way to suppress riots.

If possible, teach your son all male affairs: weighing shelves, collecting furniture, etc. Prepare your child for independent life. If not you, who will teach him? Otherwise, in the future, the simplest things will baffle him. When doing any housework, do not miss the opportunity to teach your son something new. Involve him in your business, do everything together.

The child should be involved in household chores on a regular basis. From childhood he must get used to the fact that household chores are a part of life and without them there is nothing. Some parents, having instilled the necessary skills in their child, stop there. They do not particularly involve their children in housework (“they will have time to work out more when they become adults”). And this is doing them a disservice. Having stepped into an independent life, the child finds himself alone with household chores, which he previously managed to avoid.

We all know perfectly well that everyday life is not the most pleasant thing. But when a person has become accustomed from childhood and has already come to terms with the need to do household chores, this does not take much of his time and effort. This has already become part of his natural behavior. But those who have never regularly served themselves find themselves in a not very pleasant situation. It turns out that before they did nothing around the house and lived perfectly. And now you have to either suffer from hunger and dirt, or do household chores, painfully overcoming internal resistance. Moreover, due to the lack of habit, more time and effort is spent. But everyday life is every day and more than once, which means that your child will experience unpleasant emotions due to the lack of the habit of self-service several times a day, and so on every day. Is this the kind of life you wanted for your child?

Correct attitude towards women

The most harmful thing that a father can do when communicating with his son is the opposition of “male” and “female”. Every man knows how important it is to be able to build relationships with women. But not everyone knows how easy it is to instill in a boy a fear of the opposite sex. It is no coincidence that men who love and trust women do not have erection problems. And rightly so. What kind of erection can be in someone who is afraid of his partner, does not trust her, worries a lot, how not to make a mistake?

Children are not afraid of women and are well versed in them. Therefore, a father who cannot boast of the same should avoid sharing with his son his thoughts about the beautiful half of humanity. Otherwise, the fear of women will penetrate the child's mind like a computer virus into the network. This fear will deprive the baby of the prospect of being happy in his personal life.

It is also worth explaining to your son that, despite the fact that household chores are conventionally divided into male and female, household chores are distributed fairly. Women are physically weaker than men, so the latter take on the heavier work. By the way, not all men know that women cannot lift weights due to their anatomy. This can lead to such unpleasant consequences as prolapse and prolapse of the internal female genital organs. Then the problems in the intimate life of the spouses will be provided.

Don't lie

A boy is a creature that is initially vulnerable and trusting, so try not to lie to him. Do not use phrases like “boys don’t cry,” “a man is not afraid of injections,” “a real man never lies,” etc. Otherwise, you should not be surprised when it turns out that your son does not consider himself a real man. And he doesn't consider his father either. It is not easy to fix such a situation, it is easier not to get into it.

To do this, it is worth telling the son on occasion that when a person is in grief, he can cry without losing his dignity. Although, for both boys and girls, you shouldn't be sniffing over trifles. Do not hide from the child that no one likes injections. But the test can be passed with honor, and this will earn the respect of the nurse. Tell him, finally, that good people try not to lie unnecessarily. And including you.

Do not bother

Notation is boring. Don't overuse them. Do not tighten them. After all, you want the child to think about what you said to him. But a long lecture will only irritate the offspring. Nobody likes to be told what to do and how. And even more so, no one likes to be scolded or forced.

How, then, to educate? First, demonstrate the correct behavior yourself. Secondly, in a friendly way explain to the child how it is beneficial specifically for him. Third, kindly help your son to reinforce the correct behavior.

If the child seems to agree with you, but is still inactive, help him put the idea into practice. Just don't force it. You need to negotiate in an amicable way. Think of the sock hunt. Everything can be done amicably. Then upbringing will not be painful either for the son or for you.

And in general, if you manage to become a friend to your child, then this will be your big victory. After all, we perceive the advice of friends in a completely different way: as friendly support, as help in getting out of difficult situations. We take the advice of friends calmly, most often positively. And instructions "from above" very often cause internal protest, one does not want to listen to them or carry them out.

The most important thing

Those who already have children feel very well that caring for a child is hard work. Round the clock, without days off and holidays. What helps parents to endure with dignity all the hardships of raising their offspring? Love, of course.

Therefore, remember: the most important thing in upbringing is LOVE for the child. It is necessary for both a newborn and a teenager. Moreover, children feel well who loves them, and who only pretends (they will not be able to deceive). It is love that makes a good parent be guided not by his own interests, but by the well-being of the child.

The love of parents is a NECESSARY condition for the full development of a little person. And these are not just nice words, it is a fact.

You can read about the dire consequences of a lack of parental love in the article.

If you need a consultation with a psychologist or psychotherapist, then this is the place for you.

One day, scientists conducted an experiment. The kid was dressed in pink and blue overalls, and then they asked passers-by in the park to nurse the baby. One regularity was observed in the behavior of the "nannies": if a baby was mistaken for a girl, much more affectionate words and smiles were addressed to him. And if they thought that there was a boy in front of them, then the participants in the experiment showed feelings more restrained - especially men. Thus, psychologists have clearly seen the existence of one of the most common misconceptions associated with the difference in the upbringing of boys and girls. For some reason, many mothers and most dads believe that one should not allow oneself "calf tenderness" and "lisping" with their son. Allegedly, in this case, a real man will not grow out of him. But in reality everything is exactly the opposite! It has been proven that among healthy babies of both sexes, boys are still born weaker, and sometimes they need affection more than girls. In other words, in order for your son to grow up healthy and develop well, you need to kiss, hug him, talk about your love as much as possible. It is simply impossible to spoil a peasant with such treatment!

How to Raise a Boy: Clothes

Of course, we will not dress our sons in dresses. But during the first months of life, girls will not need them either. Until almost a year, the wardrobe of boys and girls differs only in color. Although at this time, little sons do not have to buy exclusively blue rompers and blouses. Treat yourself and your baby with clothes of all shades of the rainbow. Perhaps only pink is perceived as "feminine". Recently, manufacturers of children's clothing are moving away from past stereotypes, and clothing for little men pleases us with the brightness of colors. Do not be afraid of cheerful colors - infancy flies so quickly ... When the sons grow up, they will have a much smaller choice of colors in their wardrobe. In general, clothes for boys are more democratic and practical than for girls. Firstly, the dress is not so easy to put on, because a child is not a doll. Secondly, if the children get dirty, then it is enough for the boy to change either shorts or a T-shirt. But the dress must be washed completely. For a matinee in kindergarten, you can dress a little gentleman in a white shirt and a formal suit with a bow tie. And having learned from a neighbor how much her daughter's ball gown costs, you will breathe a sigh of relief that these expenses have not affected you.

How to Raise a Boy: Toys

You should not be limited to various types of weapons and a fleet of cars, tractors and motorcycles. Probably, many parents will remember with what pleasure their little sons rolled their strollers when visiting girls. Do you really think that boys have a need to play exclusively with "male" toys from birth? I will cite as an example a textbook case from pedagogical literature. On one of the islands in the Pacific Ocean, a tribe was found far from civilization. Aboriginal researchers distributed toys to children. At first, both boys and girls became interested in dolls, cars, pistols. But after a while, the toys were clearly divided: the boys played ... with dolls, and the girls - with cars and pistols. Why? It turns out that matriarchy reigned in this tribe, and for women the main occupation was hunting, and for men - raising children. In our society, life is different, and children copy it. The task of parents is to diversify children's games. Do not rush to refuse dolls offered to you by acquaintances whose daughters have already grown up. A doll is a fairly versatile toy, and not only girls need it. While playing with the doll, the child learns to get along with other kids, using the doll as an example, he kind of loses his behavior. Also toys that parents of boys often ignore include toy furniture, dishes, kitchen utensils, and puppet dolls. For the development of my little son, they are also needed. A special conversation about toy weapons. Some dads and mothers try not to buy shooters for their sons at all, trying to protect children from aggressiveness. Indeed, in the modern world, children are surrounded by a lot of evil, and the boys themselves are more reckless by nature. But since it is impossible to completely protect the baby from military toys, your task is to teach children how to play correctly. When purchasing a toy, strive for the gift to stimulate in the child not aggression, but sports excitement. Choose a gun with balls (voluminous, but light) and a target, arrange a competition for shooting accuracy. In summer, the best option is a water pistol.
As for the typewriters, it is better to buy plastic ones. Children like metal ones more, but they are not safe for crumbs, as they are too heavy. And older boys have an irresistible desire to take them apart in order to get a good look - what's inside? Do not scold the kids for this. Want to keep everything intact? To do this, the dads of young auto mechanics need to postpone business and start disassembling and assembling cars with their children.

Raising a Boy: Cleanliness

Teaching boys to clean up toys after play is no more difficult than teaching girls. The main thing in this is patience and constancy. Just don't try to get your sons to clean up if the game is in full swing. They may even react aggressively, as boys are more impulsive and reckless.

How to raise a boy: the space of life

In the nursery, blue, green, turquoise colors should prevail. Their energy balances the activity and impulsivity of babies. If your son is phlegmatic or melancholic by nature, add yellow and orange colors to the interior. If the children have their own room, try to make it comfortable and safe. For boys, the most natural thing is a noisy game. Remove anything that limits mobility (e.g. mirrors, bedside tables, ottomans). Set aside a space for a sports corner (gymnasium, rope ladders, hanging ropes). So the energy of the kids will be directed in the right direction.

How to Raise a Boy: Sports

A very obedient boy is the pride of his parents in the first years of his life. But it is unlikely that such a kid will be able to become a full member of children's games. Stiffness leads to either lethargy and apathy, or aggressiveness. Let your boys fool around! But what if the son grows up uncontrollable and pugnacious? Release his aggressive energy. Sign up the brawler in the sports section where he can fulfill his potential. Take the time to undertake such rewarding endeavors. Sport is a long-term and profitable investment, both in terms of physical development and character development. You can be calm about your son and when your child grows up. Difficulties in adolescence, dubious companies - everything that is a real danger in the future will not affect your son if he is seriously interested in sports.

How to Raise a Boy: Creativity

What if the child prefers to draw or write poetry? Often dads consider such activities not quite suitable for a real man. Do not distract children from creativity! Remember that our acclaimed artists and poets are mostly men.

Raising a Boy: A Sense of Humor

A cheerful person is a happy person. Usually, the ability to joke is inherited, but a sense of humor can also be developed. Read funny poems and stories to the children. Play trifling grievances and whims into jokes. Look with humor at different situations in life - your kids will very soon begin to take an example from you. Laughter is a natural and organic manifestation of a child's feelings. A boy with a good sense of humor is always popular among his peers. In addition, as a rule, he is in good health (as a result of positive emotions).

How to Raise a Boy: Fathers and Sons

Many mothers complain that their husbands do not want to raise their children. This means that the time was missed when the popes had to realize themselves as such. Fathers are not born - they become if there is a wise woman nearby. Your task is to bring your spouse to the idea that he has a leading role in raising a real man even during pregnancy. The most important thing is that the interaction between father and son should begin in the first days of life, and not at 3-4 years old, as many newly-made dads believe. The key to successfully mastering parenting is your faith in your spouse's teaching abilities. When the son is still tiny, you do not need to expect the initiative from the head of the family. It is better to gently and discreetly make it a rule that he performs some kind of duty of caring for the newborn, such as bathing the baby. The worst thing that can permanently discourage dad from caring for a baby is constant control and worries that he will do something wrong. Drop your fears and leave your men (big and small) alone with each other. In this situation, dads' responsibility for a trusted child increases dramatically. Encourage dads to spend their free time with their sons. And don't scold them for the mess that comes from such joint affairs. Building a tower from blocks, learning to ride a bike or rollerblades - joint games unite the little peasants and big children - dads unusually. The grown-up assistants will also be interested in car repairs in the garage on an equal footing with dad, and going fishing, and playing football, and washing in the bathhouse. Show respect for "male" affairs. The result will be the cohesion of father and son that all mothers dream of. If you are the whole family going to the pool - do not hesitate, send the boys with dad to the men's shower. It is very strange to see 5-6-year-old boys under the care of their mother in a woman's soul.

How to raise a boy: mothers and sons

1. Mom is "her boyfriend"
If you were a child with contempt for playing with dolls, then the birth of sons, most likely, was perceived as a gift of fate. But completely dissolving in your sons, you forget about yourself as a woman. And for growing kids it is so important to see their mother beautiful. After all, it is with the image of the mother that their ideas about the ideal of a woman are connected. Tip: devote the day off only to yourself, leaving your sons with your husband or grandparents. Go shopping, go to the hairdresser.

2. Uncle Fedor's mom
Like the heroine of the cartoon "Three from Prostokvashino", you consider yourself an exemplary mother, because your child is "dressed-shoe-fed". Childish amusements seem too boring to you to participate in them. Let dad play with the baby. But the son can be proud: he has a beautiful, well-groomed mother. But the child lacks communication with you! Talk to your baby about his affairs and friends, discuss what he is passionate about (for example, different brands of cars).

3. Mom is an older friend
It would not occur to such a mother that she should carry the burden of household chores on her own - she has excellent helpers. Mom always has time to talk to her sons, read to them, make some kind of craft. All children dream of such a mother ... And every woman can become one!

As a child grows up, he goes through several stages of his development, characterized by psychological and physical characteristics.

To find out how to raise a man, read the advice of psychologists that we have shared with you.

How to bring up a child-boy at one and two years

In the first 2 years of life, the child turns from a completely helpless baby into a little man who already has character traits.

Children aged 1-2 years have high physical activity. Barely starting to walk, the sons begin to master the space around them with great interest. First the room, then the whole apartment and the street.

During this period, it is necessary:

Create conditions for an active lifestyle. This means that you need to walk more, allow you to run, climb, jump. It is not necessary to limit the child too much, and if his actions are dangerous, then switch his attention to another activity. Try to climb the stairs with your child, do not carry him in your arms when he wants to walk. Buy several balls of different sizes, teach them to throw and catch. Many people like to climb on chairs and sofas. Allow anything that contributes to the physical development of the baby. There is also a big psychological component to this - the child learns to overcome difficulties, fight fear and turn on ingenuity, in order, for example, to climb somewhere.

Encourage self-reliance. Mom will have to be patient to wait for the son to take off his clothes, or when he comes to the apartment with his mother. In such situations, you can help a little, but in no case should you do the case for the child. If you, for example, collect a pyramid for him, over which he sat for half an hour, then you will completely kill all the desire to do something on his own.

Encourage commitment to domestic work. Kids over 1.5 years old are very fond of repeating after adults and helping them do some business. Some people like to carry a rag on the floor, others like to rattle with pots, and still others like to rub carrots like a mother. Let your child try to do the same as you, and it doesn't matter that there is a puddle of water and grated carrots on the floor. In childhood, such activities contribute to the development of both physical skills and character education.

By the age of two, it becomes necessary to develop some prohibitions, since sometimes the wishes of the baby can harm health and life. In addition, from the age of 2, it is necessary to gradually instill norms of behavior and introduce a system of restrictions and punishments.

At this stage of upbringing, one should not envelop the child with excessive care, limit his motor activity and curiosity, except in cases that are dangerous.

If the baby has not yet begun to speak, then do not press on him, do not force him to speak, and do not show dissatisfaction. Keep in mind that boys start talking later than girls.

The main task of raising a baby under 2 years old is the development of motor skills, physical qualities and curiosity.

The main occupation of the toddler at this age is the games that he loves. If the child prefers active activities - running, ball or climbing, and does not like to collect cubes and draw, then you do not need to force him. Offer it to him periodically, but do not impose it.

Raising a three year old baby

By the age of three, babies are already consciously performing simple operations, talking and communicating with their peers. At this time, there is a clear gender differentiation, that is, the child is aware of whether he is a boy or a girl. For the son, the mother is still the main person.

The tasks of raising a three-year-old baby are as follows:

Instill self-love and male affiliation. It is important to let the child know that it is good to be a man. Reinforce this verbally: you are brave, strong, dexterous, and so on. You can't call your son a coward or a weakling. This message encourages the child to pay more attention to the father and try to imitate him. Young children who are raised in this way are admired by their dads tend to spend more time with them. When the child reaches the age of three, the father should devote more time to raising his son and be patient. At this stage, the relationship between them is laid, and how they begin will largely determine the character of the baby and his qualities. If the dad shows excessive harshness and irritability towards his son, refuses to study with him, the child will seek attention from the mother and reach out to her.

Continue to improve physical development and maintain an active lifestyle. Expand your baby's space. For normal physical and psychological development, a boy needs enough space and a certain amount of freedom. The accumulated energy requires a release, and the best way is active games. Another thing is when the baby is hyperactive. In this case, the approach to parenting changes slightly. Such children are not assiduous, impulsive, cannot complete some business to the end and are engaged in one or the other. Hyperactive babies require special attention, they do not have self-regulation skills, so they should be protected from overwork. With such a child, it is better to draw, sculpt, build more. This must be done together.

Encourage research interest. The main principle here is that everything that is not dangerous is possible. You can disassemble toys even if they break afterwards. Do not scold for torn pants, broken cars, and broken plates. The interest must be satisfied if it is not dangerous. Otherwise, you run the risk of raising an indifferent and indifferent person.

Raising a child at 4 years old

By the age of four, emotionality begins to form in children.

Education at this age is as follows:

Show love and affection for your child. Numerous studies have shown that four-year-old boys are praised 4 times less than girls, and punished much more often. Therefore, do not forget that at the age of 4, your son is still a child, who is inherent in fears, worries, and he cannot yet cope with them. Therefore, be patient with the baby, show that you love him. Do not think that in this case he will grow into a mattress.

Learn to express emotions correctly. Do not demand restrained behavior from your child. Features of psychological development at this age do not allow him to control emotions all the time.

Expand your space. The child is growing, and he needs more space for further physical development. Get your son a sports corner, often go to sports grounds, ride a bike together. It is better for dad to do all these activities, or organize them with the whole family.

At the age of four, the formation of an idea of one's own personality as a male representative ends. At 4 years old, the baby already clearly understands that he is a boy, and considers himself to be in the category of men.

The principles of raising a child 5-6 years old

At this age, the child has already got used to kindergarten, if he attends it, and has developed the skills of behavior and communication with peers. The preparatory period for school is coming.

New educational tasks are added to the continuation of physical development:

Psychological preparation for the beginning of educational activities. It is necessary to form a desire to go to school. Then the adaptation will be faster and easier. Talk only in a positive way, avoid pessimistic conversations with your spouse in the presence of the child about the upcoming difficulties, because children hear and perceive everything.

Strengthening the role of the father in education. How to raise a real man from a boy to a father, what psychology says? Find a shared hobby that you will do at home, such as burning, sculpting, woodcarving, and so on. Don't forget about outdoor games. Some children at this age are already enrolled in sports sections, but this is individual and depends on the character and readiness of the child.

Buying useful toys. Buy toy tools for your son, constructors with nuts and keys.

Formation of skills in domestic work. Get your son to help you around the house. Better if it is to help the father in men's affairs - to fix the tap, hang a shelf, disassemble something.

The principles of parenting a teenager

Adolescence is a turning point and difficult moment not only for parents, but also for a child. But not all children go through the ages of 13-14 hard; for some, the transition period passes almost imperceptibly.

The upbringing of a teenager is based on several principles:

"No" to total bans. In childhood, it was enough to say "no" and briefly explain the reason for the ban. For a teenager, this is a serious reason for conflict. Therefore, total prohibitions should be avoided. It is necessary to build a dialogue with the child, but it must also be correct. Dialogue should not turn into notation. Argument your position, give reasonable reasons. It is better if the conversation is conducted by dad, since in adolescence, the dialogue between two men will be more fruitful. Young men already feel like men, so they often do not want to listen to their mother and obey, just because she is a woman.

Communication. Despite the fact that your son is already quite adult and independent, do not neglect communication with him. Chat on different topics, be interested in his affairs, friends, support good ideas and encourage the right activities.

Equality. Be on an equal footing with the child, perhaps the age when you were a teacher has already passed, and the period of partnership has come. Ask for help in what your son is better at. For example, help with a computer, printing documents, and so on. Those guys who have been involved in sports, music or other activities since childhood may want to leave them. The reasons may be different, but often they are laziness, unwillingness to go, loss of interest, substitution by games and a computer. Here it is important for parents to be firm and persuade them to continue their studies.

In adolescence, a young man tries to show his independence and importance, so accept him as an equal.

Mom occupies a huge place in the child's life. For the first few years, his mother is the whole world. The child depends on her not only physically, but also psychologically. In the process of growing up, the importance of the mother and the way the child perceives her changes.

For your son to perceive you correctly, we will give you some tips.

Stay a woman. Even if you are very fond of cars, constructors and are fond of sports, in the eyes of your son you must be a woman. Through you, he forms the perception of the female sex and the attitude towards him. Ask for help with bags, open doors, look feminine.

Be a friend. Involve your son in helping around the house, and then you will always have time to make a craft with your son, chat with him and learn about his affairs.

Never speak contemptuously about men. No problem, family discord, or even divorce should make you speak ill of men in front of your son. After all, he is also a male representative, and this is very insulting to him. In adolescence, this can lead to internal conflict in the child.

Summing Up: What We Learned About Raising Sons

The main principles of upbringing at all age stages are the encouragement of activity, curiosity and the desire for work. In childhood, only that which is dangerous and goes beyond the scope of behavior in society is prohibited.

Actively involve your husband in raising your son. This will help him gain important practical skills, communication and male behavior.

Do not be afraid that you will spoil the boy with a manifestation of love and he will grow up to be non-young. It has been proven that children to whom parents showed love and affection grow up as confident and self-sufficient people.

It often happens that parents want a girl or a boy. But how often do they think about the differences in the educational process, which depend on the sex of the child? But how to grow a real man out of him is a complex and multifaceted question.

So the baby was born

When the little boy is born, one of the first tasks is to give him a real male name. At the same time, psychologists do not recommend giving such as Eugene, Valentine or Julius. The color blue in clothing does not play a significant role in the formation of masculinity. This is most likely a necessity for parents, they thereby kind of signal to others that a real man is growing up in the family.

First year of life

Around the end of the first year of life, parents who have pondered the question of how to raise a boy correctly will notice that their baby loves to quarrel. Thus, he shows his "I", shows his independence. Experts called these manifestations the “crisis of the first year”. During this period, not only the character of the son is actively formed, but also his dedication, independence and even self-esteem. How should parents behave in such a situation? We need to try to take these manifestations as calmly as possible. No need to try to break in communication with him will help patience and affection. At this age, boys need affection and tenderness no less than girls, respectively, a kiss or hug will not harm the formation of a future man. It is not for nothing that the upbringing of children in Islam does not differentiate them at this age by gender: here boys and girls are equal. At the same time, you should not allow a little boy to twist ropes out of himself: parental authority should reinforce your love and care. But here it is better to know when to stop, since the baby needs self-affirmation, therefore, ignoring his desires, requests in the future can play a bad joke with you.

Psychologists recommend that parents wondering how to raise a boy correctly should not use asexual “baby”, “lapul” when addressing their son ... "Hero" and so on.

Boys over the age of three

At about three years old, parents will notice that the baby has become independent. At this age, the baby studies the interaction between people, learns to understand what is bad and what is good. It was during this time period that the boy develops a desire to communicate more with men, to be just as brave, strong and courageous. Right now, the most correct thing for parents who ask themselves the question "how to raise a boy" will be to give the correct guidelines, to show the most typical male behavior models (of course, positive). A mother seeking to raise a "knight" needs to see in him, first of all, a little man, choosing for herself the position of the weaker sex. It will be helpful for the boy's self-esteem to consult with him, as well as allow him to be strong (for example, to show that without his help you would certainly have fallen). And remember that spiritual education of children begins at the moment when parents give them the opportunity to understand that they are full members of the family.