Once again met with the perfect. Fell in love. It turned out that he was married. Another. Let's figure it out: what's wrong?

Just no luck? No.

The fact is that it is not married men who get to know you, but you yourself get to know them. You choose them consciously or unconsciously. And why is this happening.

After all, there are a lot of worthy free men around, but you single out the “employed” from the general stream.

Most likely a married man is a safe option for you, for some reason you are afraid to build them with others.

This means that there is a program in your head that is launched by the subconscious. Hidden benefits and motives that the conscious self is not even aware of.
Which? Well, for example:

• I don't want to get married. Wives are abandoned, they are cheated on, they wipe their feet on them;
• Not worthy of a normal, full-fledged relationship with a man for whom I am the only one;
• Not ready for a serious, long-term and stable relationship;
• Not ready to take responsibility
• I'm afraid (of pain, deep connection with a partner, living together, etc.);
• I like relationships in which I am the victim;
• Single or divorced - unreliable;

What are you avoiding? How do you attract such heroes? And why do they fall into your field?

Or maybe it is in married people that you are attracted to something that is not in others. I agree, there is such a fact: they look very attractive against the background of the general mass. They seem to have already taken place, serious ...

Why does a married man attract more than a free man?

Because it gives the impression of already "tested" and demanded by someone.

If one woman approached, then, at least, he is all right with potency, finances, responsibility, he is not mentally ill, not gay, and so on. Generally, . Maybe even reliable.

Free men seem to some women boring, uninteresting. A 35-40-year-old who has never been ringed arouses suspicion: something is clearly wrong with him.

But another part of her wants to avoid pain or too close relationships, responsibility (hidden motives read above), childhood trauma, etc. - and this affects the subconscious choice of partner.
What prevents you from meeting a worthy and free person?

Fears and trauma

In childhood, the girl did not have closeness with her father, or he did not exist at all, or the relationship of the parents with each other was destructive (the subconscious mind decides: “marriage is bad!”).

And having matured, choosing married people, he protects himself from excessive intimacy with men, because he chooses those who cannot give it.

Because it's more familiar. She avoids them from sitting very deep,. And we attract what we fear.

And I'll prove it!

To prove to herself that she is the best - that's the motive. If one of the men has not yet paid due attention to her, has not fallen at her feet, the challenge program is turned on: "He will be mine, no matter what."

Of course, at this moment it does not occur to him that he is possible.

Inability to understand people

A married man can be identified at the first stages of dating, even if he carefully hides it. There are plenty of ways to do this on the Internet.

If a girl does not delve into these details and sees only her fantasy, falls in love with an image, and not with a real person, she will be greatly disappointed.

Stop being deceived!

A married man with a mistress is the same deceiver as everyone else: he often manipulates, hangs noodles on his ears and powders his brains in every possible way. Few women consciously initially choose for themselves the role of a mistress.

What to do, you ask? Deal with your complexes and fears, increase self-esteem and pump your femininity.

Create around yourself a field of worthy free men who will see a woman in you. And choose the best.

With faith in you
Yaroslav Samoilov.

Is it a coincidence, or is it you?

Have you ever felt like you are only attracted to men who already have a girlfriend or even a wife? In other words, do you always walk in mistresses?

If so, then maybe you yourself are unconsciously sending signals that only those who are already connected with others receive. You just don't understand what your actions and your body language are saying.

So, why would a man who is in a relationship look for another? Through my experience with married men and bad boys, I can shed some light on this from the inside.

Men in long-term relationships are looking for new emotions and experiences. They still love their woman, but they want something new. They are hunters, and the cave mentality pushes them to look for new prey. But many men are already tamed hunters, especially if their cave woman completely satisfies them.

When there is a ring on her finger and another woman sees it, she should not even try to flirt with this man. Unless he can influence her career or she just wants to drink at his expense. You can continue. But he won't leave his wife.

It is even worse with men who live in a civil marriage, because they have no signs of belonging, such as rings. And psychologically, they gave themselves such freedom, because physically they have no evidence that they are in a relationship. The philosophy "I'm only busy when she's around" becomes a mantra.

Have you noticed that when you walk with friends, not dressed up and not made up, you are more likely to attract men?

This is because men feel desperate.

A woman's need for a man is more than noticeable, and if he needs a girl for one night, then you are the first person he will approach. Sure, it's flattering - you get attention and free drinks - but it ends up being bad when you find out he has a girlfriend/wife.

I developed my theory of bad underwear. When you put on ugly underwear, you don't expect to come home with a new acquaintance. And when you have an aura of "I'm not desperately looking for a man," you become more attractive and intriguing to the opposite sex. Thus, they want you for who you are, and not just to sleep.

If you have low self-esteem, it shows. Men know that a woman with low self-esteem is easy to get into bed and have a psychological and physical advantage. Such women are easy targets for one-night stands.

Rule #1 that women need to learn and understand: You can't change a man.

Yes, he enjoys spending time with you. And if he is older, then you will make him feel young again. But no matter how good you feel, you cannot convince him to leave his wife or girlfriend.

Another red flag is when a man constantly says he is going to leave his wife. But if there is no other reason than you for this, then this will not happen. Forget it, leave.

Sex is also important. If a man is not satisfied with his permanent girlfriend, then he will look around. But just because he says he doesn't sleep with his wife doesn't mean it's true. You cannot trust a traitor, because his deeds already speak louder than words.

The description of the mistress is usually the same. A mistress is a sweet, cheerful and successful girl. It's easy with her while his stress-drinking non-sexual wife stays at home. When he is with you, he forgets about domestic problems.

But as soon as you find out that he has someone, leave. What if it was your boyfriend doing this to you? If he is cheating on his girlfriend, it is more than likely that it will not be difficult for him to cheat again - already to you.

And even if he leaves her for you, somewhere in the depths of your soul you should always doubt whether he will do the same with you. And then you will be in pain. Mistresses rarely win.

Elena (that's not her real name) has never been in a relationship, and the reason for this is simple. She only likes married men and is never attracted to single men. Ethical principles are important to Elena, so she never made an attempt to get close to such men. She believes that in no case should you meet a married man, so she remains unmarried.

As the years passed, Elena became completely confused and began to seek help.

I am sure that you have met people with similar problems in your life. Why do some people only fall in love with married people?

It is important to note that I am not talking about those who fell in love with a married man or woman once, I am talking about those who fall in love exclusively with married people.

To understand the reasons for this phenomenon, we should go back many years and look at Elena's childhood, where the answer to this riddle lies.

Why am I only attracted to married men

When Elena was 2 years old, she was the only child in the family. She was immersed in care, everyone treated her very well. Suddenly, another child appears in the family, let's call her Svetlana, and from that moment everything changes.

As it always happens with newborns, a lot of attention is transferred to Svetlana. Elena suddenly loses her ruling position and begins to feel threatened by her newborn sister. Svetlana tries her best to keep up with Elena, so she learns to speak much faster.

Elena begins to feel jealous of Svetlana, who is only a little behind her older sister, although she is 2 years younger than her. Svetlana and Elena are constantly competing, but the older sister begins to lose ground. Svetlana's grades are higher, and she turns out to be much more intelligent.

All the while, Elena's subconscious mind is overwhelmed by the competition. She is too afraid to give in to her little sister, just like she was when sharing attention in early childhood, so a brilliant idea arises in her subconscious.

Instead of competing and losing, her subconscious forces her to leave the battlefield in a clever way. At her school exams, Elena begins to experience panic attacks that prevent her from getting good grades.

subconscious plan

Elena's panic attacks became a mystery to everyone who knew her, but from the point of view of the subconscious, it was the perfect plan that helped her avoid competition with Svetlana. After all, if she had a panic attack every time in the exam, she could easily refer to this disease when receiving bad grades.

When they both reached the age of marriage, Svetlana got a fiancé, but Elena never did, because she was only attracted to married men. Children's psychological traumas go into the subconscious, and subconscious programs do not change as people grow up.

From an early age, Elena subconsciously preferred to avoid competition, and she used the same strategy in the matter of marriage. Falling in love only with married men, Elena's subconscious ensured that she would not compete with Svetlana in this very important field of life.

So how can Elena end this problem and move forward in life?

She just needs to understand what's going on and start developing the courage to face her problems.

Does this mean that everyone who falls in love only with married people should develop courage in themselves?

Of course not, but in many cases lack of courage is the real reason for such indecisive behavior, in which case the optimal solution would be.

Mohammed Faroukh, M.Sc.

Hello. I'm 19. Yesterday I went on a date, by the end of the meeting he said that he was delighted with me, he was ready to almost kiss my feet, but there is one "but", he is married. He is already the 10th! As soon as I think of a person as a guy - it turns out that he is married! And all around 30 usually. Why? Why don't young, unmarried guys look at me? I'm beautiful smart, all these guys are almost ready to pray for me, BUT .... Honestly, this is not self-hypnosis, I can handle it, but then again 25. Maybe something is wrong with me? Maybe I'm behaving wrong and scaring the young and unmarried?... Naturally, I immediately reject all these married ones, but I remember the very first married one - he deceived me for six months, I loved him very much, then I found out ... Well, in a word, after I don't even want to talk to married people. There is another friend of mine, married, the owner of a bookstore where I always hang out .... I like him terribly, we talk with him about books, about psychology (I study psychology), he is very kind, smart and after communication with him, I fly for a week, and I believe in the best. Then I come back a week later and charge again. We don’t have anything, we just talk, and on “you”)) There’s not even flirting between us, as such, he says that he missed and waited, gives books, talks about what happened during the week and says goodbye until the next meeting. Usually I come on Sundays, but with every day off, I want to see him more and more often.... BUT HE IS MARRIED, IT'S A TABOO FOR ME. I’m terribly ashamed, but I can’t help it, I can send off anyone, even the most handsome and charming married man, but I can’t send off a scribe in any way ... I know, I understand perfectly well that he has a wife, and it can hurt her, yes and in the end, the future wife, and it is better not to mess with a married man - but he is an exception.

So I have 2 questions.
1. Why do married men like me?
2. What to do with the bookstore owner.....

Received 6 tips - consultations from psychologists, to the question: I like married. This is not self-hypnosis and not an installation

Hello Gauhar! Here it is important to understand that the root cause - i.e. first you fall in love (emotionally attached) to this owner, then knowing that he is married - you subconsciously choose these men in order to reject them later (since that owner is married) - i.e. You can project your situation with the owner onto all other relationships with men - he is also married, but you cannot reject him! and take it out on others!

And this is more likely a misconception, "What do you like married men" - of course, not married too! Simply, firstly, you choose them unconsciously, and secondly, these married men are more liberated and easier to make contact, since relationships will not be a serious responsibility for them!

Now, what to do with this: since you are still related to psychology, you must surely understand that you need to get rid of not the symptoms, but the disease (cause) - You need to place all the accents in relations with this store owner - not in order to hope for a continuation of the relationship, but so that you and your emotions, and all the illusions associated with this person can break out and thereby let you go. He probably also understands that you feel sympathy for him (not necessarily love, maybe just an emotional attachment!) - You can voice it to him so that the emotions and feelings that are addressed to him finally come out! To say that you are pleased and need this communication, that you know that he is married, but you do not encroach on his personal life and his wife - it’s just that the very fact of having this particular connection with him (attachment) is important to you and it is possible that he will be able to become a good mentor and a person who can help you in a difficult situation!

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Gaukhar, didn’t anything so complicated happen to your parents in their (approximately) 30 years of age in their personal lives?

Why do you write "I can't send the scribe away" if " there is no flirting between us like this "...

"Why married men like me" is 1) safe, 2) risky, 3) non-committal, etc.

"I can send anyone off", perhaps this emanates from you and many do not dare to approach, but for a married ... why not have a good time?

Good answer 6 bad answer 1

Gaukhar, all problems with men, as a rule, have one reason - this is an unresolved problem with his own father. Your (unconscious) desire to attract men who are much older in age just says that you lack the father function (apparently since childhood). The relationship you describe with the owner of the bookstore clearly confirms your desire for a man-father. This needs to be worked out with a psychologist on an individual basis. Only by resolving this problem will you be able to see a partner in men, and not project your relationship with your father onto each of them. Good luck. Marina.

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Hello Gauhar!

Well, what's wrong with being married or not. "All ages are submissive to love" - ​​remember this expression, and love is a feeling to which people are also "submissive" regardless of social status, marital status, religious views, and so on. things. So give in to your feelings and they will not deceive you.

But your statement "HE IS MARRIED, IT IS A TABOO FOR ME" needs to be analyzed at a face-to-face meeting with a psychologist, why do you think so, where did you get this stereotype from ....

And it’s not realistic for everyone to be “good” (this is about your shame in front of your wives), and what you forbid yourself now is not at all necessary that in the future, some girl next to your husband will do the same “nobly” how are you now.

All the best to you.

Good answer 1 bad answer 2

Hello Gauhar!

I respect your values ​​and beliefs. Such a pattern (the 10th married man and the absence of single boyfriends), of course, suggests some behavior of yours that broadcasts erotic (not to be confused with sexual) appeals to these men, but I would still investigate before doing any then the conclusions. You can attract married people for various reasons, for example, what is a married man usually looking for in relationships on the side? Most often, this is some kind of emotional experience without the obligation to marry later. So think about whether you are doing something that could "promise" men in a relationship with you just that. This is about the answer to the first question. And my answer to the second question is also similar - you need to explore these relationships better before you understand what to do with them. I recommend a series of consultations with a psychologist. Ready to be helpful. All the best, Elena.

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Around full of free and single men. It would seem that a lonely and single person, as a rule, has a slimmer figure, more free time, and more money. But why, then, in most cases, ladies choose their lover from among the married?

A married man is always healthy

A married man is 100% tested for HIV. It is also safe in terms of venereal diseases. The guarantee that a man is “clean” in this regard is his prosperous family life.

A married man has a rich sexual experience

Ladies understand that when starting a relationship with a single or too young man, they will have to literally “teach” him the wisdom of sex. Not many people like this arrangement. In addition, many young gentlemen do not accept such "training", believing that they are already doing everything right. It's just a woman caught "with shifts." Therefore, it is always easier to come to the ready and “fraud” a married man who, during his family “career”, has perfectly learned what ladies like in bed and what they don’t.

To annoy the one who has everything set up

Many ladies start relationships with married people just to take revenge, often on a completely unfamiliar woman who got such a man. Fate so happened that they have neither a husband nor a normal relationship. And this, albeit unfamiliar, woman - everything is in order in this regard. So why shouldn't she quarrel this happy couple?

To prove to myself that I'm no worse

Some ladies look at married women from the outside and wonder what men find in them? No figure, no beauty in the face, no money, but next to each there is a loving man, and even a whole bunch of children ...

On a subconscious level, each seeks to prove to herself that she is no worse, and maybe even a hundred times better. And he begins to start "tricks" with one or another married man, thereby increasing his self-esteem. Only these cute fools are unaware that a man wants only to “tumble” with them, but he will still live only with his wife. Yes, these ladies often cause divorces. Only now, on someone else's grief, it is rarely possible to build a full-fledged family happiness.

The Forbidden fruit is sweet

Yes, some ladies enjoy playing tricks with a married man, as they say, walking “on the edge”, that is, at any moment having the opportunity to “sleep” to his wife. This brings a touch of a kind of extreme into intimate life, makes the body produce more adrenaline, and therefore sexual experiences and orgasm in this case are much brighter.

Conclusion

Although, there are exceptions. It may very well be that the man just by himself has sunk into the soul of a third-party lady, and therefore she is ready to do anything to win him back from his wife. She understands that she is doing very badly, destroying someone else's family, that is, that family hearth and way of life that another woman built. But nothing can be done about it.

It's very unfortunate, but such is life. Everyone in this mortal world first of all thinks only of himself...

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