The family's hemogram is ready. Family history research

25.05.2019

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Family History, Genogram, and You: 7 Hidden Influences. You know my love for history in general and pedigree in particular. I continue to shock my relatives even after drawing up the pedigree - expanding it to a genogram. It is a useful tool that can provide a lot of information about yourself and your actions. What is a genogram and how do you create it?

Family history, genogram and you: 7 hidden influences. You know my love for history in general and pedigree in particular. I continue to shock my relatives even after drawing up the pedigree - expanding it to a genogram. It is a useful tool that can provide a lot of information about yourself and your actions. What is a genogram and how do you create it?

First of all, I want to draw your attention to the fact that generating a genogram is an additional method with a weak evidence base. His results vary and are highly imprecise. AND this method is primarily of value as projecting the family's experience onto one's own experience.

A person is very plastic and your well-being and health primarily depends on yourself, and not on distant ancestors. It is wrong to blame all your problems on them. Yes, family history works not only in a negative, but also in a positive way. OK? And now to the point!

Genogramming is a technique that is often used in the field of family therapy. You can set the goal of researching relationships within the family. Noting on the diagram the distribution of roles in the family from generation to generation (who is the head of the family, who is the earner of livelihood, who manages the budget, who is the dependent), the peculiarities of the temperaments of members of the clan, or phobias, a tendency to depression, ways of communication, mutual sympathies or antipathies, You will find interesting patterns - for example, the tendency of the youngest children in the family to fall into seasonal depression.Or the traditional taciturnity of elders in the family of men - "patriarchs".

Family traditions are a good material to study and introduce into the genogram. How to enter into marriages, how to feed and educate children, how to treat the sick, a list of family holidays, the habit of congratulating with cards or lack thereof ... Professional preferences, the ability-inability to make a career ...

A genogram is a graphic representation of family relationships that span several generations., usually 3-4 generations. C its purpose is to show intra-family relationships and patterns of behavior transmitted between generations, and significant and hidden figures and events such as violent deaths, abortions, suicides, illness, professional successes and failures, and intrafamilial dyads and triangles.

The genogram allows the psychotherapist to look at family history as a system of transferring patterns of behavior in the family system to modern behavioral patterns. Find those "skeletons in closets" or artifacts, the behavior and relationships of which unconsciously affect the behavior and relationships of the client.

Family history makes it possible to learn certain stereotypes of behavior and patterns of interaction that are repeated from generation to generation. The study of this parameter has been started. M. Bowen, who was able to show that from generation to generation in family history there is an accumulation of dysfunctional patterns and this leads to the pathology of family members.

Family history can be reflected using a genogram. There are certain patterns that can be seen with the help of a genogram, for example, from a genogram, you can make an assumption about the choice of a marriage partner. Often, young people are looking for the kind of relationship that they tried to build with a parent of the opposite sex, but failed.

By constructing a genogram, you can uncover family secrets and discover one or more relatives that no one has mentioned in the family for a long time. The position of M. Bowen's theory of "intergenerational (intergenerational) transmission process" is consistent with the genogram.

These genograms allow you to reveal the hidden causes of fears, depression, a tendency to build relationships based on a triangle, etc. The fact is that something that you do not know at all can act on you. Pathogenic non-speaking is detrimental not so much because it maintains various kinds of ignorance in the child, but because the parents' irresistible anxiety about what they are hiding passes through it.

In psychotherapy, the genogram is also used as a projective technique.(F. Caslow). In this case, the client is asked to draw a genogram of their family (not family of origin). F. Caslow calls the genogram a projective tool for assessing the family of a particular person, giving many clues for determining the goals and process of psychotherapy

We are all links in the chain of generations, and sometimes we have to, to our own surprise, "pay the debts" of the past of our ancestors. This kind of "invisible devotion to the family" pushes us to unconsciously repetition of pleasant situations or sad events.

We are less free than we think, but we have the opportunity to reclaim our freedom and avoid fatal repetitions in our family history by understanding the intricacies of our own family.

The genogram method can be used to analyze the intergenerational transmission of patterns of certain types of family behavior, in particular parental and marital behavior. You will be able to trace recurring events, behavioral strategies, various trends in relationships (for example, the duration of marriages, etc.). With the method, you can see what factors influence the family scenario. Let's take a look at a few concepts from the genogram.

1. Role expectations and imposed roles.

“Invisible loyalty to the family” makes many of us live the life inherited from our ancestors. Every family has traditions, albeit unspoken ones. Every family has role expectations. Suppose that in one family it is customary to assign all financial responsibility for younger children and parents to the older child. In another, at least one offspring should receive a medical education, because in the family “all” were doctors.

Many fathers or authoritarian mothers keep their sons or daughters with them, saying, "I have sacrificed so much for you, so you are in my debt." Unfortunately, many young people are involved in this game and do not "isolate" from the family (as Murray Bowen put it), do not establish a distance between themselves and their family. They do not become adults because they feel bound by responsibilities.

The child either accepts an imposed role or becomes an outcast in his own family. Not many can rebel, go against their ancestors. They are labeled as "ungrateful" or "unlucky." They are told: "This is not accepted in our family."

Often adults say to a child: “you look so much like a mother!”, “He is very similar to grandfather Petya” or “frivolous uncle Sasha” ... The fear that the child will repeat the fate of not the most popular family character is often justified. As he grows up, he plays an imposed role. And sometimes the child is called upon to make up for the grief after the death of one of the household. The newborn is named after the departed and is made a “substitute”.

2. Double coercion.

The so-called Palo Alto group is meaningfully connected with the hypothesis of "double bind", "double coercion" (double bind) - a serious violation of communication in the family, when more than contradictory messages are expressed. They are structured in such a way that verbally one thing is affirmed, and in a different way, say, with the help of body language, another is affirmed.

Thus, the two statements are mutually exclusive or blocked. This is the so-called "double bond" - "double bind with double coercion." Therefore, if the message is an order, then in order to obey, it should not obey.

In addition, it is forbidden to say that the order is confusing, contradictory and “obligatory”. A person who has fallen into a position of “double coercion”, thus risks being punished (or feeling guilty) when he perceives things “correctly”, and being known in the family as “evil” or “insane” (“sick at the will of others” ) for showing the existing discrepancy (dissonance) between what he sees (perceives) and what he “should” see or experience.

3. Family myth

In the family system, the mental functions of one family member determine the mental functions of another; there is constant mutual regulation, and the rules for the functioning of the family system are both explicit and implicit, but mostly implicit.

Moreover, family members do not realize this.“It’s accepted in our family” - that is, the basic rules exist as if by themselves and it is believed that they do not require explanation.

The family myth is revealed through a pattern of functioning: some people act in life according to patterns that I would consider “unhealthy” (I don’t know how else to regard treason, vendetta, murder, healthy or unhealthy defense of “family honor”).

Such rituals form an aggregate, some integrity, a gestalt of relationships, unconsciously structured and involving all family members. Each of these rituals contributes to "balancing the family bills" where the attitude or "exploitative attitude" may or may not be balanced by the "generosity attitude."

4. Family secret

Debts are recorded between generations, "family accounts": the next generation has a debt to the previous one, and it must be repaid transgenerationally, downward, to their children.

If debts and injustices accumulate in generations, a new family member is already burdened with a heavy inheritance at birth. R. Kayes draws attention to the role of memory, individual and collective, thanks to which the history of generations exists and transmission between generations is possible.

Thus, transmission is the historical basis that binds generations. At the same time, the group, like the individual, has a tendency to eliminate painful things from memory, to reject what may pose a threat to the group as a whole and to connections within it. Such content is subject to repression, denial, transformation into a secret.

A secret is information that is forbidden to know, to disclose, which must be hidden. If it opens up, the stability of the family system may be disrupted. But the secret is transmitted, more precisely, ignorance is transmitted, the prohibition of knowledge and the knowledge of ignorance. Researchers compare the transmission of a secret to a black bottle passed down from generation to generation, which must be taken care of but cannot be disclosed - dangerous information is stored there.

S. Tisseron describes in detail the influence of the secret on the psyche of the child. All family secrets, no matter how wonderful the intentions that generate them, are always perceived by the child as violence. Violence that he will never forget, which will hang a heavy burden over his entire mental life and will rebound on his professional, love and social life.

Even if parents are sure that children cannot find out about the secret in any way, the latter feel its presence, since the secret is transmitted not only verbally. It "shines through" through the intonation of its carrier, his gestures, the use of inappropriate words, and even through the surrounding objects. Children, on the other hand, feeling painful splitting in their parents, make great efforts to make the parents believe that they know nothing.

5. Syndrome of ancestors.

Ancestor syndrome is a coincidence of dates of significant events occurring in the same family for several generations, a repetition of the circumstances of life and death, as well as the transfer of unfulfilled family debt "by inheritance". The action of the ancestor syndrome is associated with the “unconscious” of the family, which is invisibly present in the life of any person, from the moment of conception to death.

How does it work? While still in the “project”, inside the mother, the child is already becoming an object of expectations from his family: who will the child be born into, whose hopes he will justify by his birth, etc. It doesn't matter if the expectations of relatives are expressed out loud or are implied "by default". What is important is that they unwittingly form a "past scenario" of the child's future life. And a family secret always only increases the likelihood that descendants will repeat the negative experience or the plight of family members who lived earlier.

WITHThe most frequent form of transmission is more based on verbal communication. And if from childhood the girl saw how her mother, grandmother (and great-grandmother too) lived according to the formula - "kitchen-husband-children", then most likely her main asset will be: a Tefal frying pan, a Samsung vacuum cleaner, a couple of TV series, homework in mathematics both to the Russian and the "eternal" hope that today the "dear" will buy her flowers. And it is unlikely that professional self-realization will be a priority for her.

To recognize live signals, it is enough to analyze the most repeated phrases of your mother or grandmother. As the child was most often called in childhood - "ah, my beauty!" (programming for an extroverted style of behavior), "ah, my clever girl!" (the bookmark of the importance of intellectual characteristics), "you are our firstborn and favorite!" (programming for a leadership position) - etc.

Moreover, very often the assessment and expectations of parents can radically disagree with the true personality traits of the child. In addition, it could often be said, something like “it is not customary in our family to marry before the age of twenty-five” or “we are mental workers, there will never be artists and other comedians in our family” ...

6. Transgenerational transmission.

It occurs through several (sometimes very distant from each other) generations and is based on non-verbal language. To understand the mechanism of transgenerational transmission, you need to understand the essence of family non-verbal attitudes. For example, you may not know anything about your great-grandmother because neither your mother nor your grandmother ever said anything about her.

But the subconscious mind is much more attentive than you, it does not miss a single gesture-act that indirectly betrays a connection between an event and your relative. Let's say a great-grandmother was widowed at the age of 31, a year after the birth of a child. And somehow she became the cause of the death of her husband and never married again. Of course, the details of the tragedy in the family are hushed up. And even your grandmother may not be aware of what happened to her father. But exactly one year after your mother was born, she divorces her husband. And she never gets married again.

Your mother, in turn, loses her husband - your father. Would it come as a surprise that you still haven't found marital happiness or had a history of unsuccessful relationships? The attitudes of the ancestors can be different. But no matter how they sound, they always inspire a high degree of confidence in a person. After all, we hear them from early childhood and from the people who are most significant to us.

This is especially true when parents, as well as previous generations, have suffered serious mental trauma in their lives; information about this will be passed on to descendants. If this event was mentally processed, symbolized, inscribed in the individual memory as an experience that received the status of the past, memories, not only the content of the traumatic experience is transmitted to the descendant, but also the methods of its mental processing and coping with it, which affects the individual development of the child.

7. Power word effect (self-fulfilling prophecy)

Not believing in a curse, you can think about the effect of a strong word accompanying a strong emotion, especially coming from an authority figure - a priest, parent, teacher. It is because of the unconscious nature of the impact of what is said or predicted that I do not trust astrology, fortune-telling on cards, reading lines on the hand, clairvoyance, since no one knows whether sometimes the predicted misfortune is realized precisely because of the spoken strong word, which in the minds of people leads to failure, death, accident and thus makes them possible or predictable, thereby affecting the change in the body - space - time - the future (this kind of brings closer the "automatic fulfillment of predictions" and, as it were, creates the stress of the prophecy ).

This is what can be the evil eye, familiar to us from numerous fairy tales, legends, stories about sorcerers and the vicissitudes of fate. But stress can arise from a negative prediction, and in a similar way the situation can improve with a favorable prediction and a positive outlook ... "

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly affects reality in such a way that it inevitably turns out to be true in the end. A prediction that looks to be true, but is actually not, can significantly influence people's behavior (for example, through fear or through a sense of logical contradiction) in such a way that their subsequent actions themselves lead to the fulfillment of the prediction.

Different genograms

It is possible to make genograms that trace the transmission and specific response patterns.

A genogram focused on feelings can help uncover the reasons for those decisions and beliefs. It can be used to gather significant information about general feelings in the family and may take several sessions to complete. Such a genogram can include answers to the following questions:

What feelings were predominant in each of your family members?

What feeling, mood was predominant in your family as a whole? Who created this mood, who was responsible for it?

Which feelings were the most frequent and which were the most intense?

The expression of what feelings in the family was forbidden? If the taboo feeling did manifest itself, what was the punishment?

What happened when feelings were not expressed in the family?

Who in the family knew and who didn’t know how others felt?

What happened to you when you expressed a forbidden feeling or feelings?

How did you adapt to life, experiencing such, so to speak, unwanted emotions?

Have others tried to impose their opinions on you on how and how you should feel?

Have you ever seen someone lose control of his or her feelings? What happened then? Has anyone in particular suffered from this? How exactly?

If your family used physical punishment, what feelings did your parents express? What feelings were allowed to children?

Do you have feelings that you cannot explain, but which are close to those feelings that you experienced in the past?

Questions about what feelings were presented in the family, what feelings were acceptable or unacceptable, and how different feelings were expressed, explain the historical basis of the relationship. For example, the partner may then begin to see how certain feelings have always been blocked. And that relationships that may have once been functional and useful may no longer be functional today.

This applies equally to socially disapproved feelings like anger. And in this case, the parental family is just as strong a factor in the development of this system of views, as well as others. Children learn a lot about anger and conflict as they see, or fail to see, in their parents' behavior. And the strength of this influence is difficult to exaggerate.

When a partner feels that certain feelings cannot be experienced or expressed, applying an appropriate focused genogram can help uncover the cause.

A genogram focusing on feelings of anger (Anger Genogram) illustrates these influences (DeMaria, Weeks, & Hof, 1999).

She provides answers to the following questions:

What do you think is anger?

When you are angry, what does it mean?

When you are angry with your spouse, what does it mean?

When a spouse is angry, what does it mean?

When a spouse is angry with you, what does that mean?

How do you react to your spouse's anger?

How do you react to your own anger?

How do you let your spouse know that you are angry?

How long does your anger usually last?

What other feelings do you associate with anger?

How did your parents handle anger, conflict?

Have you ever seen your parents in anger or conflict towards each other?

When someone in your family (named each) became angry, how did others react to it?

How have you adjusted to the anger of each of your parents?

When one of your parents was angry with you, how did you feel and what did you do?

When you got angry, who listened to you, or was able to listen? Who is not?

How did your family members react when you got angry?

Who is allowed and who is not allowed to be angry in your family?

What is your best / worst memory of anger in your family?

Has anyone in your family been seriously hurt in a situation where someone else was angry?

Genogram questions often show differences in certain patterns of parenting families of both partners, and the associated feeling of comfort versus the intensity of the expression of emotion.

It will be interesting for you:

For example, for those growing up in a family in which conflict manifests itself through distance and isolation, the emotional intensity can be very uncomfortable. Likewise, those who grow up in families with volatile emotions are more likely to be emotionally spontaneous and volatile as well. published by

A genogram allows you and your family to see your family tree in a useful and creative way. It is a great way to phase the space of your entire family's system and, using the Model Mind as your guide, you can recognize hereditary family illnesses as well as negative emotional and relationship patterns, personality traits and family beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. It helps the next generation to overcome family illnesses and all family members to cope with family problems, improve relationships and maintain strong family ties.

When composing your genogram, try to be as detailed and detailed as possible. Include both negative and positive emotional patterns, all important details of medical history, etc.

Remember, too, that climbing a family tree can be enjoyable, but more often than not, it can be exhausting and sometimes scary. Inspire all your family members to contribute to the genogram. Usually, the more help you get, the better your genogram is.

SEVEN DIMENSIONS OF YOUR GENOGRAM

Your genogram has seven parts, each of which will be useful in its own way. Try to fill in every part as much as possible.

1. Family tree:

Start with a diagram of your family tree. Use a square for each man and a circle for each woman. Draw your own situation, then your spouse and children, as shown in diagram 2. This will be the "core of your family" and the center or "trunk" of your family tree.

Now expand your schema to include the different branches of your family tree. Keep expanding the diagram until you depict your parents and all their children, your grandparents, and their children. Don't worry if you can't figure out all the details. Just draw circles and squares for as many family members as you can count.

Then number your circles and squares and write in each name and age as shown in figure 2. This way, you will be able to refer to each person by number or name. At the end, fill in the dates of marriages (B) and divorces (P).

2. Medical information:

Tracking histories of family illnesses and medical conditions can be very helpful if you know what to look for. Diseases such as diabetes, alcoholism, disorders of the heart, pancreas and liver are sometimes transmitted genetically. Arthritis, multiple sclerosis, stress reactions, and emotional disturbances such as obsessions, depression, hostility, and an excessive guilt or sensitivity complex are likely to be more important than broken legs (assuming you have a predominance of broken legs in your family!). The point is to keep your eye on a recurring disease, condition, or ill health on your family tree.

3. Emotional patterns:

See how each person feels for himself, for others, and for life. Some may be open-minded, receptive, cheerful, lucky, or optimistic. Others may suffer from depression, various phobias, harsh dispositions, disgust, jealousy, or negativism. You can usually identify these patterns by asking questions like, "What five words do you think best describe your grandfather?" Then compare how you see your grandfather with how others see him.

One of the family members may say: "90% of the time the grandfather was angry", another enters the conversation and adds: "Yes, and the other 10% unhappy!" Children can understand how grandfather developed his negative emotional habits, knowing that he was always angry. It can also help the present generation overcome these "inherited" patterns.

4. Dynamics of relations:

Define the categories of any relationship between your family members or relationships between family groupings with a quality that characterizes them (distant, hostile, close), and highlight special relationships in capital letters (A, B, C) so that you can describe them more complete on a separate page.

5. Family system:

You will also find it helpful to take a look at how different parts of your family system work together, or how they fail. Are there any coalitions (special groups that stick together and do not give others access) or special roles assigned to certain family members or parts of the family? Are there any violations (divorce, separation of spouses, family strife), family geeks or "problem" people? Can you understand how your family system works and is passed down from generation to generation? You may want to use colored pencils to highlight specific parts of the family diagram so that you can describe them in detail according to color.

6. Family Beliefs:

Your family members pass on their beliefs to you in every area of family life: how to raise children, how to deal with teenagers, when and whom to marry, how many children, how to make a living, what is the best job, how to measure success, how to cope crisis, loss, trauma and tragedy, how to grow old and how to face death.

Pay close attention to your family beliefs: they are probably the most similar to what you believe, knowingly or unknowingly, and dictate how to survive and how to live. If they are immature, broken, or dysfunctional, they can constrain your thinking, block your development, and keep you from reaching your potential. Exploring those beliefs is the beginning of aligning them with your HIGHEST POTENTIAL.

7. Society and your family:

Finally, take a step back and see how your family sees themselves as a part of society. How does your family as a whole present itself to society? What other systems does your family identify with? And how does society usually respond to your family?

When composing your genogram, try to answer the following questions as completely and completely as you can:

GENOGRAM QUESTIONS:

1. What serious (physical) illnesses do you have in your family?

2. What are emotional illnesses? (alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness).

3. What were the fatalities and what were the causes of death?

4. What are the divorces or separation of spouses, betrayal or secret relationships?

5. How would you best describe the personality traits of each family member?

6. How do family members express love and affection? How do you know about this?

7. How do family members argue? How do they express anger? How do you know they are angry?

8. Who was the extrovert and who was the introvert?

9. Who was the main provider and who was the main dependent?

10. What alliances, coalitions and subsystems do you have in your family? What are their rules and restrictions?

11. What are your family myths? What are their secrets?

12. How do your family members communicate with each other? (words, gestures, expressions, body language)

13. What are your overriding values? What are your family values?

14. How is masculinity and femininity manifested in your family?

15. What are your family do's and don'ts, shoulds and shouldn'ts?

16. What happens to feelings in your family: are they acknowledged, communicated, or avoided?

17. How are decisions made in your family? Who accepts them? Who is involved?

18. How do family members behave in society compared to their behavior at home?

For further information on how to use the genogram for the positive development of your family, please refer to the author's article "Family Scheme Systems in Hereditary Psychotherapy: Theory, Benefits, and Advanced Applications of Genograms."

Glossary

TO ACHIEVE - to achieve entering inside, to open or realize, as the rational mind realizes, coldness or "tune in" to any dimension of the cold-dynamic plane.

BORDER CONDITIONS - the requirements of the past, present and future, which determine the possibility of realizing an individual potential. When the mind focuses on the potential of the Quantum Wave, its focus produces an echo wave that returns to the past, then goes to the present and forward, to the future, testing the conditions necessary to align with all levels of the Hidden Order, from the physical to the universal. When these boundary conditions are met, this wave echo provides feedback to the Quantum Wave, which manifests itself in a "partial" reality.

CAUSAL POTENTIAL is a force that can cause action, influence or create.

COMFORT AREA - as presented in the Model of Mind, this is an area of partial overlap between family and cultural beliefs of the mind, where beliefs are comfortable enough, stable and permanently valid as "correct".

CONSCIOUSNESS - awareness; awareness of thoughts, feelings and desires that arise when the rational and intuitive processes of the mind are coordinated and balanced.

CULTURAL BELIEFS - traditions, customs, habits, attitudes, opinions and beliefs as collective values of non-family cultural groups; these beliefs experienced by the individual are kept in the hollows of the mind and occupy a designated area in the Model of the Mind.

FAMILY BELIEFS - traditions, customs, habits, attitudes, opinions and beliefs as collective values held by a family or a group of people living together in close relationships; these beliefs are also interspersed with personality, stored in the hollows of the mind, in the area intended for them.

THE HIGHEST POTENTIAL ESSENCE - the hidden full possibility of the personality; his or her primary coldain, "I", which influences and shapes experiences at all stages of development, at all levels of the Hidden Order and in all dimensions of the mind.

REFRIGERATION - (From "holo", which means "whole" and "dynamics", which means "force in action or in motion"). Deals with the Universe as a projection of the Quantum Force onto the Coldains, interacting at all levels of the Hidden Order in order to create physical matter, life on Earth and human experience within a single, dynamic whole.

COLD PLANE - the plane of the mind, where all mental patterns can be seen as part of the whole; in the Model of Mind, it is the diagonal plane between the rational and intuitive parts of the mind, where the cold ones act and interact; in extent, this plane occupies all vital actions throughout the entire cold-dynamic Universe.

COLDINE is the main part of the cold-dynamic Universe; the first order of organization on the manifested plane; a multi-dimensional, holographic portion of the memory storage. Holodines are thought-forms with causal potency that behave like living beings inside the mind, creating, directing, shaping and acting as the subtlest attracting elements, or selectors of the streams of thought; on the cold-dynamic plane, they encode the resonating frequencies of the Quantum Wave as they pass through all levels of the Hidden Order.

"I" - see the Higher Potential Essence.

THE HIDDEN ORDER is the hidden, fundamental order of the universe from which all ordinary experiences emerge. The Hidden Order consists of six interacting levels, from physical to universal, which correspond to six stages of development.

WAVE OF INTEREST - the ebb and flow of attention, focus, passion or curiosity, controlled consciously or unconsciously, inside the mind it is formed and controlled by cholodains on the cold-dynamic plane. The Wave of Interest has dimensions of intensity and frequency and is depicted topologically as passing through the center of the Mind Model.

INTUITIVE SENSE PERCEPTION - using the senses of the intuitive mind. Physical reality arises in the functions of "particles" and "waves"; human sensory perception has a corresponding dualism. "Partial" functions are perceived by the rational senses and are mainly processed in the left hemisphere of the brain in rational thinking that is linear, analytical, logical, and technical. Wave functions are perceived by intuitive senses and processed in the right hemisphere of the brain through intuitive thinking that is non-linear, creative, holistic, and artistic. Conscious use of I.CH.V. allows the mind to directly track and interfere with the coldains and "orders within orders" of its thought stream, as well as to reconcile mental processes at levels of complexity beyond the realm of ordinary rational thought.

MANIFESTED PLANE - the world as we are accustomed to seeing it, the world that is obvious and comprehended by rational senses, usually limited to three dimensions of length, width and height.

MIND is the mind that contains all mental activity, both rational and intuitive, manifested and unmanifested, quantum or physical, individual or collective.

MODEL OF MIND - a topological model representing various aspects of the mind (family and cultural beliefs, rational and intuitive thinking, cold on the cold-dynamic plane and stage of development), and how it all interacts with the Quantum Wave.

PARALLEL WORLDS - worlds that exist in planes parallel to the manifested plane of our world. Such worlds are thought of as interacting over time, where past, present and future are one.

PHASING SPACE - the process of considering any dynamics in relation to its "space" on the Model of Mind. Phasing space allows us to consciously step back a step from any problem and consider it from the point of view of development and choice, in relation to family and cultural beliefs, rational and intuitive thinking, coldness on the cold-dynamic plane and stages of development - and how they all interact with each other ...

POTENTIALIZATION is the realization of any potential by focusing on it and aligning it with the coldines, relationships, systems and principles involved and with the Universe as a whole. Potentialization usually occurs when boundary conditions are encountered and the Quantum Wave crashes into manifested ("partial") reality.

QUANTUM POWER is a universal force that penetrates the fabric of space and time. Quantum Force is thought to be the source of all energy on the manifested plane, which is so powerful that one cubic centimeter of space contains more energy than all known energy in the Universe.

QUANTUM THINKING is thinking that combines rational "partial" and intuitive "wave" processes in a balanced, synergistic manner and that allows the mind to grasp events, changes and connections that are inaccessible or incomprehensible to other processes in the mind. Quantum thinking reaches the quantum dimension of the Hidden Order, which underlies all manifested reality.

A QUANTUM WAVE is a universal wave containing all possibilities on the unmanifest plane for any circumstance. It is also called the "Supply Wave". From a rational ("partial") point of view, the Quantum Wave is made up of countless "quanta" or separate "pieces and pieces" that together make up the perfect complex of possibilities for any given circumstance. From an intuitive ("wave") point of view, it is a field in which all possibilities exist without distinction until the mind focuses on the field with a specific intention.

RESONATING ENERGY FIELD - the field of encoded resonating frequencies emanating from a source with causal potency, for example, from the "I" or from the holodain; and creating an evolving environment in which matter and living things form, take shape, or grow like crystals, molecules, cells, plants, animals, humans, and social systems.

ROUND TABLE - in tracking - a place within the mind where mature holodains can meet and communicate with each other, with the "I" and with the conscious being, so that peaceful and principled processes can connect in individual life.

FINE ATTRACTING ELEMENT - The fundamental and potentially powerful influence of any intention that manifests itself consciously or unconsciously, and attracts things, people, relationships, systems or principles to align with them.

FINE ENERGY SENSES - a biological sensory system, different from the normal five senses, spreading throughout the body, where each cell acts as a receiving and transmitting the subtlest energies. The system controls the limbic center of the brain, which processes sensory information and determines the body's responses through the hypothalamus and pituitary gland.

TOPOLOGY - a branch of mathematics that deals with the changeable form of an object without changing its function; in the attachment to the Model of Mind, it is a diagrammatic representation of aspects of the mind that do not alter its function.

TRACKING - the process by which a person achieves a certain coldness, becomes his friend, recognizes his positive intention, transforms him into his mature image (potentiates it) and undertakes to enter into a systematic, principled and universal relationship with him.

Suggested literature

Cleve Baxter. "Biocommunication capacity: human donors and leukocytes in vitro". International Journal of Biosocial Research. Tacoma, 1985.

Robert O. Becker and Harry Selden. "The Electric Body: Electromagnetism and the Basis of Life". New York, 1985.

David Bohm and F. David Peet. "Science, order and creativity". New York, 1987.

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The genogram allows you and your members to see your family tree in a useful and creative way. This is a great way to phase out your entire family's system space.

Using the Model Mind as your guide, you will be able to recognize hereditary family diseases as well as negative emotional and relationship patterns, personality traits and family beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. It helps the next generation to overcome family illnesses and all family members to cope with family problems, improve relationships and maintain strong family ties. When composing your genogram, try to be as detailed and detailed as possible.

Include both negative and positive emotional patterns, all important details of medical history, etc. Remember, too, that climbing a family tree can be enjoyable, but more often than not, it can be exhausting and sometimes scary. Inspire all your family members to contribute to the genogram. Usually, the more help you get, the better your genogram is.

SEVEN DIMENSIONS OF YOUR GENOGRAM

Your genogram has seven parts, each of which will be useful in its own way. Try to fill in every part as much as possible.

1. Family tree:

Start with a diagram of your family tree. Use a square for each man and a circle for each woman. Draw your own situation, then your spouse and children, as shown in diagram 2. This will be the “core of your family” and the center or “trunk” of your family tree.

Then number your circles and squares and write in each name and age, as shown in diagram 2. That way, you can refer to each person by number or name. At the end, enter the dates of marriages (B) and divorces (P).

2. Medical information:

3. Emotional patterns:

See how each person feels for himself, for others, and for life. Some may be open-minded, receptive, cheerful, lucky, or optimistic. Others may suffer from depression, various phobias, harsh dispositions, disgust, jealousy, or negativism. You can usually identify these patterns by asking questions like, "What five words do you think would best describe your grandfather?" Then compare how you see your grandfather with how others see him.

One of the family members may say: “90% of the time the grandfather was angry”, another enters the conversation and adds: “Yes, and the other 10% unhappy!” Children can understand how grandfather developed his negative emotional habits, knowing that he was always angry. It can also help the present generation overcome these "inherited" patterns.

4. Dynamics of relations:

5. Family system:

You will also find it helpful to take a look at how different parts of your family system work together, or how they fail. Are there any coalitions (special groups that stick together and do not give others access) or special roles assigned to certain family members or parts of the family? Are there any irregularities (divorce, separation of spouses, family feud), family geeks or “problem” people? Can you understand how your family system works and is passed down from generation to generation? Maybe you want to use colored pencils to highlight specific parts of the family diagram so that you can describe them in detail by color.

6. Family Beliefs:

7. Society and your family:

When composing your genogram, try to answer the following questions as completely and completely as you can:

1. What serious (physical) medical conditions do you have in your family?

2. What are emotional illnesses? (alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness).

3. What were the fatalities and what were the causes of death?

4. What are divorces or separations of spouses, infidelities or secret relationships?

5. How would you best describe the personality traits of each family member?

6. How do family members express love and affection? How do you know about this?

7. How do family members argue? How do they express anger? How do you know they are angry?

8 who was an extrovert and who was an introvert?

9. Who was the main provider and who was the main dependent?

10. What alliances, coalitions and subsystems do you have in your family? What are their rules and restrictions?

11. What are your family myths? What are their secrets?

12. How do your family members communicate with each other? (words, gestures, expressions, body language).

13. What are your overriding values? What are your family values?

14. How does masculinity and femininity manifest in your family?

15. What are your family "do's and don'ts", "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts"?

16. What happens to feelings in your family: are they acknowledged, communicated, or avoided?

17. How are decisions made in your family? Who accepts them? Who is involved?

18. How do family members behave in society compared to their behavior at home?

< Родология – наука о законах развития Рода
Family programs and social stereotypes>

The article is devoted to an amazing method of knowing yourself through the history of your family - the genogram.

Everyone knows what a pedigree is. And many people imagine how to create their own family tree. At least, if someone is not yet familiar with this topic in detail, then there is always an opportunity to catch up. Fascinating and talented TV shows (I would say even whole series) have been filmed to help, thematic sites have been created, and even specialized computer programs. So the compilation and study of your genealogical trees, generational murals is genealogy, an applied historical discipline about family ties.

We are now on the territory of another science - psychology, and in the light of the compilation and analysis of the genogram, it is correct to name the pioneer of family therapy, one of the founders of systemic family psychotherapy and the creator family systems theory, American psychiatrist and psychotherapist Murray Bowen, who developed the genogram technique within the framework of his theory.

Murray Bowen (1913 - 1990)

M. Bowen's theory of family systems and systemic family psychotherapy consider a person not only as an individual, but always as a part of the emotional-social system, i.e. families. This approach is based on the basic ideas of cybernetics, more precisely, the general theory of systems. And in this case, for a psychologist / psychotherapist, a person is not a client; the client is his whole family, the whole family system. In it, a specialist evaluates system parameters, for example: accepted mechanisms (stereotypes) of interaction of family members with each other; family rules; family myths; borders; stabilizers; family history. However, if in the classical systems approach, the information and communication features of the functioning of the family are distinguished, first of all, then the theory of family systems by Murray Bowen focuses on its emotional processes.

Well, this is already from the field of professional psychological work with family histories and genograms, so we return to Earth. And yet for the curious, I recommend reading the collection of articles by Bowen and his students presented in the only book published in Russian: "The theory of family systems by Murray Bowen", M., Kogito-Center, 2005

So the genogram:

A family history written down graphically is a genogram.

In the genogram, in contrast to the pedigree, the main thing is not the family tree, which reflects family ties, but the relationship between relatives.

Working with the genogram on your own, you can compose and analyze it, at least in the following areas:

1. Family (genealogical) tree:

Start with a diagram of your family tree. Use a square for each man and a circle for each woman. Symbols that are convenient to use to compose a genogram, see the end of the article. Depict your own situation, then your spouse and children. This will be the "core of your family" and the center or "trunk" of your family tree.

2. Medical information:

Tracking histories of family illnesses and medical conditions can be very helpful. Diseases such as diabetes, alcoholism, disorders of the heart, pancreas and liver are sometimes transmitted genetically. The point is not to lose sight of the recurring disease on your family tree.

3. Emotional patterns:

Pay attention to how each person in your family system feels for themselves, for others, and for life. Some may be open-minded, receptive, cheerful, lucky or optimistic, while others may suffer from various phobias, depression, jealousy and negativism, and have a tough, stern disposition. You can usually identify these patterns by asking questions like, "What five words do you think would best describe your grandfather?" Then compare how you see your grandfather with how others see him. One of the family members may say: "90% of the time the grandfather was angry, not talkative", another enters into a conversation and adds: "Yes, and for the remaining 10% he was an unhappy person!" This approach can help you see and overcome “inherited” patterns.

4. Dynamics of intra-family relations:

Now look at how your family members relate to each other. For example, you might ask, "What kind of relationship did Mom and Dad have?" "How did Grandma deal with Grandpa's anger?" See if the family relationship is open or closed, judgmental or exploratory, manipulative or seeking compromise. Discover how your family handled a relationship crisis, in whose hands were superiority, who made more decisions, and who made less. Define the categories of any relationship between your family members or relationships between family groupings with a quality that characterizes them (distant, hostile, intimate). All this information can be shown schematically on a genogram.

5. Family system:

You will also find it helpful to take a look at how different parts of your family system work together, or how they fail. Are there any coalitions (special groups that stick together and do not give others access) or special roles assigned to certain family members or parts of the family? Are there any violations (divorce, separation of spouses, family feud), family geeks or "problem" people? Can you understand how your family system works and is passed down from generation to generation? Maybe you want
use colored pencils to highlight specific parts of the family diagram.

6. Family beliefs, values:

Your family members share their experiences and beliefs with you. This applies to any area of family life: how to raise children, how to deal with teenagers, when and whom to marry, how many children to have, how to make a living, what is the best job, how to measure
success, how to cope with crisis, loss, trauma and tragedy, how to grow old and how to face death. Pay close attention to your family beliefs: they are probably the most similar to what you believe, knowingly or unknowingly. They dictate how to live in order to survive. If beliefs are immature, broken, or dysfunctional, they can constrain your thinking, block your development, and keep you from reaching your potential.

7.Your family and community:

Finally, take a step back and see how your family sees themselves as a part of society. How does your family as a whole present itself to society? What social attitudes does your family identify with? And how does society usually respond to your family? What disturbing historical events affected your family and relatives (war, revolution, dispossession, repression, etc.)?

When composing your genogram, try to answer the following questions as completely and completely as you can:

GENOGRAM QUESTIONS:

1. What serious (physical) illnesses do you have in your family?

2. What are emotional illnesses? (alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness)?

3. What were the fatalities and what were the causes of death?

4. What are the divorces or separation of spouses, betrayal or secret relationships?

5. How would you best describe the personality traits of each family member?

6. How do family members express love and affection? How do you know about this?

7. How do family members argue? How do they express anger? How do you know they are angry?

8. Who was the extrovert and who was the introvert?

9. Who was the main provider and who was the main dependent?

10. What alliances, coalitions and subsystems do you have in your family? What are their rules and restrictions?

11. What are your family myths? What are their secrets?

12. How do your family members communicate with each other? (words, gestures, expressions, body language)?

13. What are your overriding values? What are your family values?

14. How is masculinity and femininity manifested in your family?

15. What are your family do's and don'ts, shoulds and shouldn'ts?

16. What happens to feelings in your family: are they acknowledged, communicated, or avoided?

17. How are decisions made in your family? Who accepts them? Who is involved?

18. How do family members behave in society compared to their behavior at home?

Below are the symbols that are commonly used when drawing up a genogram. But, of course, a creative approach is always welcome: you can put on each family member, for example, archival cards, use computer programs and your own designations, highlight in color, etc.

The presented guide to compiling and analyzing a family genogram allows you to do this work yourself and without special training. But I will justly emphasize that for a psychologist, drawing up a genogram is not a goal, but one of the techniques that he uses in his work, helping to solve the problem with which the client turned. And, of course, joint work with a specialist on a genogram is always a dialogue, which is healing in itself.

For those who courageously read this article to the end and are ready to draw up their genogram, I recommend that you definitely watch the video from the cycle "Happily Ever After: Everything About Man, Woman and Family", prepared with the participation of the Center for the Development of Interpersonal Communications and the Drofa publishing house. These are conversations between psychologist Olga Troitskaya and TV presenter Alexander Gordon. Part 4 is devoted to the topic of compiling a genogram. Deep, delicate and professional work, taking into account Russian specifics.

Prepared by: Ivanova Yulia

The following literature was used in the article:

"The theory of family systems by Murray Bowen", M., Kogito-Center, 2005

"Systemic family psychotherapy", A. Ya. Varga, SPEECH, St. Petersburg, 2001

Vernon Wolfe, “Cold Dynamics. Power in Action, Appendix: Genogram Guide: How to Chart a Family Tree, 1995.

This is life - we repeat after the French, explaining our failures in different areas of life. But the reasons for the difficulties should be sought ... in family history. Family therapist Alexander Chernikov explains what a genogram is and how to use it to understand the zigzags of fate.

Each of us can draw our own family tree. The genogram is very similar to a schematic representation of the pedigree of one family, only in addition to the names and dates of life, it contains many other detailed information about family members, at least three generations. The family therapist records everyone's occupation and education. Also asks questions about the parental families of the spouses - are the parents alive, what are they doing, were they divorced, when they met and got married, are there brothers and sisters, what is the age difference, etc. Information about serious mental illness, diabetes is also recorded. , hypertension, alcoholism of relatives. In addition, the psychotherapist will definitely ask questions regarding recent events: birth, death, marriages and divorces, moving, changing the place of work of family members, so that these answers can be recorded on the genogram.

By the way, such a graphical recording allows another expert, not familiar with this family, to quickly read a large amount of information about it and get an idea of its potential problems. By collecting and analyzing this data, you can find out, for example, what underlies the choice of spouses each other. Often, the hidden spring of mutual attraction is the unconscious comparison of a partner with the images of his parents, sisters / brothers and other important figures of our childhood. Studying the history of the family, one can only wonder how logical it is for spouses to choose each other, even if their marriage falls apart after a while. The experience of relationships with parents, their communication model, the order of birth in the family set a matrix of little-realized expectations from the future partner ...

So, in a way, the genogram is the key to further investigation of the difficulties that have arisen in the family, which the psychotherapist will have to unravel and work through together with its members.

Studying the genogram, I am trying to find out to what extent the problem that brought this family to me is related to family history: does it exist only here and now or is repeated in several generations.

This method was developed by the famous American psychologist Muray Bowen, one of the founders of systemic family psychotherapy. It is based on the assumption that families repeat themselves, in other words, what happens in one generation is often repeated in the next, and the same themes will be played from generation to generation. In other words, a certain model of family existence, which was formed, say, 50-70 years ago - at the level of grandparents - can somehow influence the families of their grandchildren.

There are several ways to analyze a genogram. A family psychotherapist will definitely ask a question about how many children there were in the parental family and what is the order of their birth. The fact is that people's behavior patterns are largely determined by whether they were older, middle, younger, or the only children. After all, each of these types has its own psychological profile. For example, in a marriage between spouses there is an acute problem of the struggle for power. If we analyze their genogram, it may turn out, say, that the husband and wife were the eldest children in parental families. And this means that this is precisely why they cannot now clearly divide responsibilities, the sphere of activity among themselves.

If we see that there are three brothers in this family, then the middle one has the hardest part - after all, there will be very strong competition between children of the same sex. But, if he is the middle brother, who has older and younger sisters, the situation is different. In this situation, the boy finds himself in a special position, he is surrounded by the attention of sisters and parents. It is also believed that more often than other children, middle children may develop an inferiority complex - the older child is more successful, and the mother is more involved in the younger. Thus, the middle is in a restrained position. On the other hand, he has more opportunities to develop his communication skills - he can be the elder for the younger and the younger for the older child. He also learns to find a common language with children of different ages. A striking example of the middle son is the President of the USSR Mikhail Gorbachev. And the eldest is the straightforward Boris Yeltsin, the ex-president of the Russian Federation.

By the way, it is believed that a marriage in which the position that each of the spouses occupied among their brothers and sisters is repeated will be more stable. Thus, a marriage between an older and younger child is considered complimentary. In other words, it is easier for such spouses to agree and adjust to each other, since they reproduce their experience of relationships with brothers and sisters in their family. They play complementary roles - the elder cares, the younger accepts his care. This bond is the stronger and more lasting, the more the relationship of both partners resembles their position in the families of their parents.

An uncomplementary marriage, as a rule, is concluded between partners with the same ordinal position in the parental family. All things being equal, they need more time and effort to agree and act in concert. As mentioned above, when two older children are married, they can struggle for power and compete in relationships with each other. Two juniors, on the contrary, can avoid any responsibility and compete, who is younger.

Another point that a psychotherapist must pay attention to when analyzing the genogram of a family is related to coincidences. We are talking about dates, for example, the parents divorced and the child has problems at school. Or the child suddenly has enuresis. The genogram showed that a year before that there was a replenishment in the family - a younger brother was born, which, probably, was the cause of this disease.

There are more complex systems of coincidences - the so-called anniversary syndrome. It is known that, for example, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams (the second and third presidents of the United States) died on the same day - July 4, 1926 - on the day of the 50th anniversary of American independence ...

This syndrome works in the same way in the family system. Let's say a father died at the age of 40 from a heart attack. On the eve of his fortieth birthday, the son is experiencing tremendous anxiety - he is afraid that he will die at the same age as his father, and for the same reason - because of heart problems. His fears have not subsided even despite the cardiac examination, which has confirmed that he has a healthy heart ... He may not even be aware of the cause of this cardioneurosis.

There are cases when people committed suicide on the anniversary of the death of their brothers or sisters.

Also, there are frequent coincidences associated with the birth of children. Say, if shortly before the birth of a child in this family, his older brother or sister died. Usually this coincidence has a strong effect on the child. After all, at the moment of his birth, his parents are still experiencing the loss of their elder, they simply do not have the strength, resources for the newborn, which, as a result, will replace the deceased for them. This topic, if it is present in the genogram, requires a separate discussion.

Senior, middle, junior ...

Our behavior is determined by whether we were older, middle, younger, or only children.

For older child the family is usually characterized by responsibility, conscientiousness, striving for achievements, ambition. He tends to take on some of the parenting responsibilities, taking care of the younger ones. The birth of the next child leads to the deprivation of his exclusive position in the possession of the mother's love and is often accompanied by jealousy of the rival. The emphasis on high achievement makes him more serious and less gambling than others. A common psychological problem in older children is the anxiety of not living up to the expectations of their parents.

Youngest child characterized by carelessness, optimism, willingness to accept someone else's patronage. His parents are less demanding about his achievements. He may have problems with self-discipline and difficulty making decisions. He knows that you will not achieve anything by force, therefore he achieves what he wants, demonstratively taking offense or trying to charm. The youngest child, who was well treated as a child, is usually easygoing and popular with friends.

Middle child may exhibit characteristics of both junior and intermediate, or a combination of both. However, often, if he is not the only girl or the only boy in the family, he is forced to fight to be noticed and get his role in the family system. Such children are deprived of the authority of the older children and the spontaneity of the younger ones.

If the family large , then the characteristics of middle children largely depend on when they were born: among the younger or among the older ones. They often know how to negotiate and get along with different people, as they were forced to learn to live in peace with their older and younger brothers and sisters, endowed with different characters.

Only child turns out to be both the oldest and the youngest in the family. As a result, such children have many of the characteristics of an older child, but can retain the childish qualities in themselves until adulthood. An only child inherits the characteristics of a parent of the same sex. Because parents tend to have high expectations for their only child. As an exclusive focus of attention, single children are often very closely attached to their parents throughout their lives. With fewer opportunities to play with other children, an only child can become like a small adult as early as childhood.

For twins parameters senior / junior also matter and appear depending on which group of children they were born in. If the parents emphasize that one of them was born earlier than the other, then the roles of senior / junior can be divided between them. Gemini scores the lowest on intelligence tests compared to children in a different birth order. Perhaps this is due to the fact that they function as a separate team and are less adult-oriented than others. In adulthood, they have difficulty separating.

Coincidences of life events

A family psychotherapist, drawing up a genogram, draws attention to all sorts of coincidences in family history. After all, they have a profound influence on how a family's life is built.

Coincidence of an important life event in the family with the onset of the development of a symptom in any of its members or with the stage of its exacerbation. A typical example of this coincidence is the age regression of a child after the birth of a younger brother or sister.

Anniversary Syndrome... Some coincidences can be understood as reactions to the anniversary of some important or traumatic event. For example, a depressed mood that occurs at the same time every year may coincide with the anniversary of the death of a parent or sibling, and the connection may not necessarily be conscious.

Grouping of important life events during the transition period between stages of the life cycle... For example, the collapse of a father's professional career as head of a laboratory in a design institute after the start of perestroika may superimpose the transition between adolescence and the separation phase of the child from the family, and especially exacerbate the relationship between father and son, who is trying to go his own way. The coincidence of a number of events with the birth of a child can make his position in the family special. For example, in the year of birth of the creator of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, his father's father dies, a year later his brother is born and soon dies. A couple of years after his birth, the eldest sons of his father from another marriage immigrate to England. Sigmund became for the parents a substitute for all losses.