How to be interesting and attractive. Aunt Isabelle ruled eleven. How not to be boring for a man

17.08.2019

Aunt Isabelle is one of those surreal old women who, by their very existence, prove that sorceresses exist. Having survived three dear, beloved and only (each was one and only and unique) men, the aunt (she is categorically against being called a grandmother - and even more so a great-grandmother) devoted her time to contemplating the world and giving free advice to daughters, nieces of all levels, granddaughters and the numerous girlfriends of all the aforementioned relatives. The following tips are excerpts from Aunt Isabelle's correspondence on the topics of love, family, sex, and relationships with men.

First. Everything that you will do to attract someone's attention - you will do first of all for yourself.
The probability of failure always remains. Sometimes, in the process of struggle, you can discover something completely new in yourself or build other relationships, or understand that the struggle itself is no longer of interest, but you never know what else. The result is a more self-confident, more fulfilled, more interesting woman in any outcome of the "battle for a loved one."

Second. A man should not know that you are fighting for him.
Let him think absolutely anything about his actions. Many smart women love this kind of quite deliberate "blonde game" - since a man needs a logical explanation, let him come up with it himself.

Stereotypically, men want to be hunters. It is often lost in a long and permanent relationship with a man and especially with a husband. To tell the truth, many men I know are prey, although they are not aware of it. Your husband should experience the feeling that prey, seemingly trapped forever, unexpectedly flees from under his nose. But don't overplay. You need to keep a certain golden mean - yes, dear, I'm certainly interested in you, but I have other important interests.

Third. Take care of your looks and clothes.
In a fit of feelings, women are often ready to open up to a man all of themselves without a trace, leaving little secrets for themselves and their souls. Therefore, a man begins to believe that he knows this woman as flaky (whatever that means in his mind). And once you know everything, you don't expect anything. What passions are there ...

Therefore, from time to time you should carry out small revolutions in appearance (This is me again about changing wardrobe, linen, handbags) Buy what previously seemed inappropriate. I don’t know what exactly - maybe jeans with a bowtie made of rhinestones all over the bottom, maybe a purse with a playboy emblem, maybe something else. And get the most out of it.

For example, I had a rather conservative mother who dressed me in strict clothes that would suit any aunt of her age. By inertia, I have long preferred the boring and respectable classic style. And then one day I made a small internal revolution - I went and bought myself a short skirt, bright scarves, neckline tops, some flashy jewelry ... So what if I got tired of all this in a week? I just turned into a little girl for a while, who so lacked this mini-skirt at sixteen (Oh, of course, in those years it was impossible to think about such a thing, but probably that is unclear what you want, but you cannot express when you are sixteen , included this short skirt). And having returned in time to myself as a sixteen-year-old, I changed myself as an adult, finding my own style and my own idea of myself. Remember how in the song - you think it will all be worn - I think it should all be sewn.

Fourth. Develop your intelligence and stand up for independence.
Surely there is some topic or subject that interests you, but for which you did not have enough time. Deal with it immediately. There are unread books. Unseen movies. Read, see, absorb new impressions. But discuss emotions not with a man / husband, but with your girlfriends, at work, at least write to me. It is enough for a man even one phrase-statement about your inner growth, about satisfying his curiosity and interest. It's also good to get out of the house on a permanent basis, so to speak. Once a week some classes, fitness subscription, swimming pool. And everyone should know that this is your inviolable time for yourself. Whether there is an earthquake or a flood, you still go to sing, or dance, or jump rope. And this place should be closed from your husband. That is, where it is - he may know - but nothing more.

Oh, this annoys men more than any other whims and even more than the desire to buy an expensive fur coat. And at the same time, the independence of a woman is a hook that men swallow harder than any other. Love is not beauty, beauty only attracts. They love individuality, independence and self-respect. You can be not too pretty, not fashionably dressed. Inner freedom and your own view of the world will attract enough interesting men to you (and - it is important to remember - there are enough "sons" reaching out to a potential "mommy").

Fifth. Cultivate your healthy sexuality
It's hard to write about sex without equivocation. But still. Get in the habit of sometimes giving in to your own fantasies. In pleasant clothes, after a bath, caress yourself in front of the mirror and bring you to orgasm. (You can do it a couple of times in a row). Try different poses, methods (only without extreme - not everything that we are able to fantasize really gives pleasure) Imagine beautiful men (better than unreal ones) and inspire yourself with the idea of your own desirability, your beauty, your sex appeal and irresistibility. This is a kind of auto-training. If what you have written embarrasses you or jars you a little, all the more you need to overcome all your complexes on the topic of sex. And it is better to do this gradually, alone with yourself.

One of the most common excuses of women - "I'm so tired that I don't want sex, especially with myself" - speaks only of a lack of attention to myself. In reality, sex does not require so much physical strength. Rather, the refusal is not due to physical fatigue, but from the fact that a woman needs too much moral strength to tune in to sex. So why not practice and understand yourself. Women often blame men for their coldness or dissatisfaction, but they have no idea what they themselves like, which actions are appropriate and which are annoying.

Food, sleep, sex are a trio of basic human needs and pleasures. You like to eat well, prefer a comfortable sleep in a comfortable bed, but for some reason do not notice that you are depriving yourself of the third equally important component of physical (and mental!) Health. It is not necessary to be able to fold into some tricky posture of the Kama Sutra, but it is imperative to regularly train the muscles of the vagina. Healthy sexuality is important first of all for the woman herself, for getting positive and good mood from life. And, of course, men primarily choose women with normal sexual reactions.

Sixth. Learn to be calm in all circumstances.
It's not only beneficial in gender relations. It helps in work, relationships with relatives and friends, and just contributes to well-being again. And, mind you, I am not calling to be calm all the time. I only draw your attention to the fact that instantly flaring up scandals can be useless and annoying shaking of air. And tears, as a rule, cannot help grief. Therefore, before you start screaming or scandalizing, getting nervous or panicking - count to at least ten. Even if you have been betrayed, even if the heavens fell on your head, even if the earth opens up and is about to swallow you - find some equilibrium state in which you can make an intelligent decision. And you can shout and cry later.

Seventh. Impulsive passion is good.
Love - often and very often (no matter what theorists write there) - an instant impulse, imprinting. And sometimes some of the circumstances in which this impulse arose can be repeated - in an attempt to create associative similar feelings and impressions. Sometimes it can be a certain clothing, place, smell, people, music, movement ... And the association should be sudden, instantaneous. Here you know better what, when and how your man or husband was led ...

A friend of mine met her husband at a party, and she was accidentally doused with water from a vase of flowers. You know, the musty smell of stagnant water. So she assures that her husband is still being led to this rottenness, and only with her alone.

Sudden sex, even between long-term partners, is also a great opportunity to inject impulsiveness into a long-term relationship. And the man does not have to take the initiative. He just needs to be provoked. Well, after provoking, you don't have to be a log yourself.

Eighth. Let the man be a little jealous.
Someone called, a stranger gave something, someone at work / in the pool / jumping rope gave flowers (even if you buy them yourself). Your omissions, understatements are intriguing - and male curiosity has ruined Rome. The main thing is not to overdo it, not to overplay, but, having started the game, not to be the first loser.

Ninth. Be interesting and a little unpredictable.
A subtle thing is this - a man should not be one hundred percent guessing what you will do or say. But I shouldn't be afraid of your too extravagant antics. Sometimes it is useful to change the usual patterns of behavior.

For example, if before you always scolded for socks scattered on the floor, now tell me that you will guess by the socks, or read an interesting test for determining intelligence by the number of abandoned socks found, or about the need for urgent disinfection of the room, as there may be fungi on the socks ...

The main thing is that the husband is both curious and a little funny. Some things can be done with such a trick - every time to come up with something new. So that he would go to you and think - damn it, I wonder what she will do with the socks today.

Tenth. Be fun.
A little lighter, a little more frivolous. Tell funny stories about yourself, sweet stories about children, anecdotes about family life. Explore the man's interest and throw him funny stories on the topic from time to time. Who are you more interested in - with a whiner mourning universal sorrows, or with an optimist who knows how to laugh at his problems? It's the same with men. A cheerful and cheerful woman is much more attractive than not laughing, even with an utterly languid look.

Eleventh. Seduce him and let him seduce you.
Seduction on your part shouldn't seem too overt. (Let the man think that he is a hunter). Let you be wanted and seduced - interesting, cheerful, independent, beautifully dressed. But you can always nudge a man into active courtship. It is actually a complex and simple language of gestures and movements. Consciously hard to make it natural, but there are some things you can learn. A standing man can be marinated for a while before giving up.

But I still do not really understand and share the point of view that a woman should be an impregnable fortress. Even if a woman is not in love, and a man looks after in an interesting way, is pleasant in appearance and demonstrates high moral and moral qualities, then why should he be refused only on the grounds that the chemistry of first sight did not arise? Why not get and please each other?

Well, if we are talking about reciprocity, then it's time to enjoy the moments of intimacy and try to comprehend each other in the most direct original sense. Be happy, my dear girls!

Why does a man lose interest in a woman?

Consider this situation. You have been together for a long time, you know and understand each other well and you feel that the man's interest in you is decreasing. Relationships somehow fade away, gradually fade away, lose their former vitality and passion. The man no longer looks at you with admiration and does not lust as before.

At the same time, you do everything for him, please, and dodge this way and that, but he doesn't seem to appreciate it and shows less and less reciprocity. How to be? Is it possible to return and maintain his interest?

The good news is, yes, it’s quite possible. To do this, you have to stop doing what you were doing, namely to dodge for him this way and that.

Sounds strange, right? Let's figure it out.

A bit of science. Think about the Coolidge effect, about the attractiveness of new women who are ready to fertilize. What happens to men at this moment? They see in front of themselves a possible reward (the ability to reproduce and pass on their genes), but at the same time there is a high level of uncertainty (not the fact that this woman will choose it). When a man knows that a reward may await him ahead, but at the same time not the fact that he will receive it - he begins to produce a very important neurotransmitter - dopamine. Dopamine creates motivation, encourages men to act in exchange for possible rewards, gives an incentive to develop events, keep going forward and try.

Gambling is attractive for men for approximately the same reason: in them he can receive a reward, but this is not certain, there is uncertainty. Therefore, dopamine is produced, which makes you try again and again.

And for the same reason, men are attractive to women who promise rewards by their appearance or behavior, but which they do not possess or do not fully possess.

From this we can conclude: if a man knows you up and down, if he knows that you will not get away from him, that you are completely dependent and subordinate, that he will always have a delicious dinner and royal sex at the snap of his finger - he becomes uninteresting with you. Because everything is too predictable and he will get his reward anyway.

That is why it is worth maintaining a certain level of uncertainty in a relationship with a man in order to fuel his interest and maintain dopamine levels.

How to remain a mystery for a man

So you are a woman, he is a man. You have something of your own feminine that he is not interested in. He has something of his own masculine that you are not interested in. In addition, there are some general topics that are of interest to both of you. So the recipe is quite simple:

Have and pursue your own interests and hobbies;
Get in touch on general topics that interest you;
And disperse on topics that are not interesting to you.

On the one hand, he is not interested in your hobbies, but on the other hand, he is curious that you have something of your own and you are not completely known to him in some way. He does not know about you in your hobby area, does not know what is happening there. This is the very degree of uncertainty and mystery.

How to stay interesting on maternity leave

And for many women, first of all, it is necessary to learn how to comply with their own interests. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult and difficult, especially for mothers during the maternity period, but it is still vitally important to free up time for some of your own hobbies or some communities or companies. The same fitness, dancing, and even though Tuvan throat singing is a huge positive factor, it will fill and revive both you and your relationship.

Stay beautiful and interesting

It also makes great sense to maintain at least some social activity, to maintain some kind of social interaction. If you are locked in some kind of your squirrel wheel, if your interests are primitive and you have only one girlfriend and serials from your personal, then most likely you are not like a man - you will not be interesting to yourself.

Create interests for yourself as a person, be proactive, do not completely dissolve in everyday life and relationships, have your own hobbies, look for places where you can realize your interests, study information on exciting topics, meet and exchange experiences.

At the same time, you should not drag each other to your interests. Let it be your personal sets of experiences and development, let it be your own victories and your personal growth. Thus, you will be able to fill each other - you will remain a little unknown and unexplored for each other. Then that masculine look, full of admiration and interest, will begin to return.

Yes, victories can and should be shared, but it is not necessary to immerse yourself in the details and the process. You can be glad for your man that he won some kind of cup in sports, he can be glad for you that you have finished embroidering a picture with beads. And you don't have to love his sport or your embroidery.

Instead of an afterword:

For relationships, balance is important so as not to go to the other extreme. If you have only your own values, your own life, if you do not intersect anywhere and in anything, then the question arises - why then are you together at all? Why do you need this relationship?

Therefore, it is the balance that is important: on the one hand, your interests, your own life are important, on the other hand, touch and intersect with your man. A mutual desire to be together is necessary, common interests and goals are necessary in order for the relationship to develop and to be needed by both partners.

Sooner or later, relations between a man and a woman begin to cool down, lose their brightness and emotionality. It seems to partners that they know absolutely everything about each other, they begin to bore each other. What to do, how to behave for a woman in order to fall in love with a man again, so that he would pay attention to her.

The first thing to remember is that men love with their eyes.

Go to the mirror and look at yourself. What do you see there? Are you as beautiful as when you first met? On the first dates of the girl, conquering the guy always with the perfect hairstyle, with beautiful makeup, seductive underwear and pretty dresses. Now what? You meet him at home in training pants hanging on his knees, with a messy bun of hair on his head, or even worse with curlers on his head. You stop wearing makeup and don't go to a beauty salon at all. It seems so commonplace. He loves you, where will he go? But he is not. Any man wants to see a girl next to him - sweet, sweet and seductive.

Look at your figure, see a couple of extra pounds, urgently and immediately engage in fitness, aerobics or yoga. If you want to keep a man, you will find 15-30 minutes a day for sports. Moreover, you need it for your own health.
Take a look at your wardrobe. in what you wander around the house in the presence of your man, probably these are dressing gowns with a flower, stretched T-shirts, incomprehensible pajamas with the like. No one is against the above things in a woman's wardrobe, but you need to wear it when you are cleaning the apartment, preparing a meal or doing other household chores. Buy yourself a pair of cheap but cute dresses that you will wear for dinner or lunch, in which you will wallow with him in front of the TV. Men love with their eyes and believe me, your dress will not last long on you and will soon be removed from you. With regard to dinners, lunches and breakfasts, the table setting and your serving food should also be like in a restaurant.

Learn how to set the table beautifully, the man will appreciate it and will even help you clean everything up with great pleasure.

The next thing you should do is self-improvement and self-development. A man will get tired of a beautiful doll sitting on the couch, a smart and successful man will want to see the same smart girl who is engaged in self-education next to him. You can take various courses and learn how to drive a car, learn a foreign language, sign up for cooking classes, etc. courses can be related to your profession or, on the contrary, open up the opportunity for you to acquire a new profession and do business. In the classroom, you will be able to make many acquaintances, you will have new topics for conversation with a man.
If you are still living apart, then the best way to test your feelings is to disappear indefinitely. Just don’t call him and don’t write SMS, don’t appear, if possible, in your eyes, if a man is interested in you, then in a day or two he will find you and begin to tell how he felt bad without you.

Stay interesting for yourself, develop yourself, improve and you will be interesting to others, including men.

Every girl sometimes thinks, what are the guys interested in? She asks interesting questions to the guy. She thinks about these topics for a long time. And she really wants to know how to become an interesting girl for her boyfriend?

But we are not robots and we cannot be the same, which means that the ways guys like them will be completely different for each girl.

But there are certain statistics that most guys fall under. So let's see what selection criteria allow us to like the male sex.

Guys Interest Criteria:

The beautiful appearance of the girl. And do not trust anyone when they say that they liked you for your calm nature. No, they looked first at your face and figure. In general, according to statistics, girls do not put a guy's appearance in first place, they look at character and sociability. But the guys look first of all at the appearance. They are pleased when their girlfriend is neat and attractive, and everyone around them will envy such a friend, and this is important for guys. But do not think that with your beauty you will attract all the guys at once, each has a different concept of beauty. Someone likes skinny girls, someone plump, and some even like simpletons. But in the end, all guys choose their chosen one precisely by their appearance.

Next, the guy looks at the character of the chosen one and at her charm. He has already looked at her appearance, he liked her, he appreciated, then the evaluation of the girl's soul begins. Most guys, according to statistics, love it very much when a girl is also smart, plus she is also beautiful. This case can be compared to a beautifully wrapped gift, the wrapper is wonderful, and inside there is some kind of trinket, completely uninteresting. But a good gift will always touch the heart and please the eye. Also, guys are very fond of, with all the qualities that were listed, also kindness and modesty, but in moderation.

Now the guy will watch how true you are, and are you really what you want to seem. They really do not like fake, any guy after a while will guess who you really are. So be natural if you don't want to get into stupid situations.

Also a very important criterion is common interests with a girl. If you are completely opposed in opinions, you cannot be together, because you will argue all the time, and neither you nor your boyfriend will like it. But, there were also isolated cases when a guy and a girl were completely opposite in opinions, but, nevertheless, their union was eternal.

The last selection criterion is unobtrusiveness. You do not need to check your boyfriend all the time, he will only run away from you faster from you to the one who will calmly wait for his call. Not a single guy can stand it when they send him five hundred sms a day and call him three hundred times, and at the same time they constantly follow him on the Internet. No matter how painful and painful it may be for you to wait for his call, wait, he will appreciate it.

Also read -

Ask your boyfriend a couple of questions and you will find out what is interesting to him.

Do you miss his attention? Then ask him interesting questions that he cannot refuse and will spend his precious time with you.

First of all, ask the guy about his childhood, what he remembered the most from him, what interesting cases he had. Also ask a question about his early exploits in fights or how he went on his first date.
Men are very fond of talking about their achievements, so ask him questions about what he does best.
Also ask him what he thinks about old age and eternal life.
Ask if he believes in UFOs.

So how do you become an interesting girl for a guy?

All guys like open, liberated girls who know how to take care of themselves. With all this, a girl must be a little smarter than her boyfriend in order to interest him. You also need to be sexy, but don't confuse sexuality with depravity. You need to follow fashion and dress nicely and naturally.

How to be interesting for a man? - video

Modern ladies have accumulated a lot of misconceptions about which women are interesting to men. This is partly due to upbringing, partly with the images of glamorous girls flashing from TV screens and the covers of glossy magazines. In some ways, prejudices are lodged in their souls by friends with their own advice, and in others, their own sad experience. And they, unhappy, are chasing an unattainable ideal, striving to lose weight to size forty, perfectly style their hair and have flawless skin. Many are very close to ideal. They are almost ideal. While they are silent. Because if they open their mouths, then the unfortunate men have nothing to talk with these dolls about. Not because they are stupid, no. But, simply, many do not know what to talk about with a man. They know how to be attractive, but how to be interesting? Let's find out how to get interesting for a man.

First, an interesting woman is easy to talk to. An interesting woman is not afraid to say nonsense. If you are cute, men will not notice any oversights on your part. Girls, on the other hand, often assume a stern and cutesy look. They make a serious face, trying to appear well-mannered, smart and mysterious. As a result, the man goes out of his way to maintain a conversation, talks about the weather, asks standard questions, to which he receives not very common answers. The conversation does not go well, the impressions of each other are blurred. The man no longer calls, and the girl wonders what she did wrong - either she took the fork in the wrong hand, or did the wrong hairstyle.

Yes, a man primarily evaluates a woman visually. But then he strikes up a conversation. And here everything depends on the woman. If she becomes interesting for him, then she can count on long courtship, if not, then “let's go to me, we'll see the film” they won't call her.

Secondly, an interesting woman lives an interesting life. It is hardly worth explaining that housewives do not live interesting lives.

Interesting woman:

studies or works (while not obsessed with her activities);
goes in for sports (constantly, not from time to time);
reads books (tabloid novels are not books);
watches films, especially novelties);
does not watch TV (and if he does, he never admits it);
has a hobby (for example, photography, dancing, equestrian sports. You need to have a hobby so that a man understands you. Unfortunately, very few men know how to knit and weave macrame).

Third, to become interesting for a man, a woman's day must be full. Home - work, work - home - not about her. She writes dates with a man in her busy schedule.

But at the same time, in a conversation, an interesting woman will never lead a monologue about her bright life. Her task is to bring a man to a dialogue in which her boyfriend will understand that he has a personality in front of him, self-sufficient, versatile, bright, with clear life priorities. You should not agree with a man in everything in a conversation, sometimes you need to contradict him. Representatives of the strong half of humanity are terribly fond of proving that they are right, in addition, the dispute enlivens the conversation.