How to invite a man for a cup of coffee. How men understand the phrase: for a cup of coffee

Unspoken rules dictate that the initiative in a relationship should come from the man. This also applies to serious issues, such as a marriage proposal, and more everyday ones, for example, an invitation to a cup of coffee. But men are now not proactive and often do not dare to take the first step.

Situations are not uncommon when your friend, whom you sympathize with, does not take a single step towards rapprochement. In this case, you will have to take the initiative into your own hands. The easiest way to get to know the object of your attention better is to invite him over for a cup of coffee. But you need to do this as unobtrusively as possible, because you do not know the reasons why he refuses your attention.

Coffee in gratitude

The most popular and effective method is to invite a friend for coffee in gratitude for a service. But this method is only suitable if you communicate regularly.

Think of a problem that only your friend can solve. Ask him to help you with work (if your object is a colleague), to look at the lock on the front door or on the car (if you have one), to rid your computer of viruses, or to install new software.

If your friend has little initiative, then you will have to ask, because without help you will not be able to cope. Well, in gratitude, boldly (even persistently) invite him for a cup of coffee, even in the nearest cafe, and not to your home. What happens next depends only on you and your enterprise.

Pretend date

Writers and directors of romantic films are very fond of this method. But in real life, he is quite capable of helping.

Ask your friend to go to a cafe with you to meet with classmates or business partners to play the role of your boyfriend. If there is a share of adventurism in his character, then he will certainly agree to help you. And, playing with feelings, it is easy to transfer them into reality.

Even if you do not have any appointments, you can always ask friends or relatives with whom your "object" is not familiar for help. And you can not ask anyone, but pretend that they called you and canceled the meeting, and since you are in a cafe, it’s a sin not to drink a cup of coffee.

Directly invite for coffee

This method is the most sincere and most effective. Just walk up to your friend and invite him over for coffee. If he is well brought up, he will not be able to refuse, and you will make an indelible impression with your sincerity.

These are just three ways to invite a man you know for coffee. In fact, women's ingenuity knows no bounds. But, regardless of the outcome of the meeting, only a man can appoint the second. Otherwise, you may be considered ill-mannered and intrusive.

It's already evening, the date has come to an end, the man escorts us, so romantic, to the subway / entrance / front door. We also like the man, and communication is pleasant and it is interesting to talk with the gentleman.

I would like to somehow continue the conversation, so before he gives you the last kiss, we can easily invite the gentleman to come in: evaluate the design solution in the apartment, watch a film about the behavior of shrews, or just drink tea.

What we want: “If I offer something to drink, I just want the date to last a little longer,” says Alina, 30. Friend Marina echoes her: "Of course, since I say tea, then tea - what else?"

What do they hear: “If after a date a girl calls me to her place or invites me to a bar, it means that she is not averse to having some fun,” Rustam revealed to us the true meaning of our words.

Psychologist Steve Nakamoto explained to us that not all men without exception are convinced that an invitation to the table is actually an invitation to bed. He assures us that after hearing our "would you like to have some coffee?" the man only makes sure that everything is going as it should, in the direction in which it is supposed to. However, according to him, the men are to blame for the appearance of indecent thoughts in the head ... we ourselves! The woman by her behavior sets the tone for the date, and the man has a definite opinion. If during the date there was no physical contact, touching, flirting, then the man is unlikely to suspect in your proposal a desire to get closer.

Needless to say: Dima shared his experience. “On our first date with a girl, we went to a small restaurant and ordered a bottle of wine. When everything was drunk and the waiter offered to bring more wine, my companion replied: "Thank you, don't, I have wine at home." Well, what could I think? But it turned out that she had no intention of being with me that night. " What else could he think?

What to say: really what? How to invite a man you like to go for a cup of tea for the sake of tea? It's more complicated here. For example, Rustam believes that a girl should directly say so, they say, just talk, without any liberties. The author of the article disagrees, because often a hundred times the topic of "tea only" in the apartment was quickly forgotten, and harassment began. Nakamoto proposes to outline the boundaries in a different way: to determine not only the purpose of the visit, but also to immediately establish its duration. “You don’t want to come in for half an hour, chat,” - this is how, in his opinion, a proposal should be built. Explain to especially hot men what exactly half an hour and why your tea drinking will not last longer.

But even if you now know how best to make it clear to a man that he will sleep alone tonight, we still recall one more way to dot the i. It consists of only six words: “ I had a good time, thanks a lot!»

You have known the girl for a while, and she knows what you like. However, you want to ask her out on a date; and maybe to your home, to visit; to the cinema; finally, just take a walk under the moon, but don't know how to do it.

It is not so important where you are going to invite her, more importantly, what words you will use so that she agrees to go with you as a pair. How to ask a girl out on a date?

"How about we go for a coffee sometime?"

A great phrase when a guy needs to ask out a girl with whom he is unfamiliar. You calmly, without any straining, will be able to sit with a cup of coffee and get to know each other better... Perhaps you are a great match for each other, and a joint time in a coffee shop will convince you of this.

"Maybe we can go to this movie together (here you show the tickets)?"

Be sure to add something like: "We wanted to go with a friend (girlfriend), but he (s) got sick"... Although, of course, a date in the movies is not the best option. But after that, it will be easier for you to invite the girl on a real date, in a more intimate place. This phrase can be changed a little, depending on the situation (“Let's go to the skating rink on the weekend?”, “Do you want to go to a concert of your favorite band? A friend got sick, couldn't go,” and so on).

And now about where to use these and similar phrases:

1) In person

This should be your preferred option, since live communication cannot be replaced by any calls or SMS... True, if you are shy, you may not have the heart to invite a girl in person. Then you can try the methods outlined below, although it would be better to work on yourself and become more self-confident, naturally.

2) By phone

This option is also quite good. You will still have to exactly speak, but you will not see the interlocutor in person, and therefore it will be more comfortable for you to talk to her.. Don't call early in the morning and late at night; remember first what a girl can do at one time or another in order to dial her number when she is free to talk. Don't beat around the bush for a long time, but ask how the girl is doing, ask what she is doing, so that you know for sure that you are not distracting her from an important activity, and invite. Begging is not worth it, it is better to call another day.

3) By SMS

This method is best used when the girl texts you first.... After all, she can ignore your SMS if, in principle, she communicates only live or by phone. Let's say you receive an SMS with the following text: "What are you doing?" ("What are you doing?" Variations are possible). You can write in response, but the message should be, so to speak, preparatory, so that later you can call and immediately proceed to the invitation to a date. Answer, for example, like this: “How long have you been to the cinema for the last time?”. She quickly answers you "Long ago" or "A month ago" (options are possible). This means that you can dial the number and actually invite the interlocutor to a meeting.

The main thing that is required of you is not to be annoying and write / call / visit in order to invite the girl out on a date, at the right time, when she is not busy with something important. And, of course, be confident, don't mumble or pause in conversation. Then you are guaranteed a serious relationship.

A study by the University of Salamanca with more than 1,500 respondents aged 16-86 proved that women need at least five to six meetings to finally decide whether to start a relationship with a partner, while men are more often the victims of lightning sympathy. One out of five representatives of the stronger sex at least once in his life experienced love at first sight and more than half - after the first date. What can make him lose his head here and now?

1. Minimum makeup

The phrase "plaster fell" is often used by men in relation to a woman's make-up, rather than a peeling wall. The more natural the beauty looks, the more chances you have to spend this evening in a good restaurant in good company.

2. Naturalness in communication

Naturalness captivates not only in appearance, but also in communication. Never try to build yourself out of who you are not. Standing men do not tolerate impertinence and falsehood. Be yourself, no matter how naive and uninteresting it may sound: other people's gestures, words and habits, like shoes not in size, cause a lot of trouble and inconvenience.

3. Curiosity

Yes, brains are still sexy. Men love women who can keep up a conversation on any topic and calmly argue their own point of view. And if you can distinguish rugby from handball, corner from penalty kick, and Vasily Berezutsky from his brother Alexei - get ready for the fact that on the third date he will introduce you to your parents.

4. Laughter

5. Tight-fitting long dress or skirt

There are fabrics and styles that will compliment your figure better than an experienced plastic surgeon. No mini-skirts and neckline work as excitingly as a tight and contoured silhouette in general - this gives room for his imagination.

6. Perfume

The main love potion in the whole look is, of course, perfume. A weapon that will help make him fall in love with you literally with your eyes closed. Fragrant cheat sheet: vanilla notes are associated with tenderness; jasmine is a synonym for seduction; patchouli helps to relax, and the tropics motif, like citruses, increases sex drive in every fourth man. We take into service everything at once. Moreover, a fail-safe composition is in the aroma portfolio of the Lacoste brand - EAU DE LACOSTE L.12.12 Magnetic Pour Elle.

7. Open gaze

When you look your partner in the eyes, you verbally tell him that you have nothing to hide. You know that most of all men are afraid of a dirty trick.

8. Breaking the template

9. Shoulders

Men love beautiful shoulders - and this is, in fact, a medical fact that must be taken for granted and be able to emphasize. For example, a drop of perfume.

10. Moles

Those who disagree with this point, let Cindy Crawford talk about how to win men. Others may flirtatiously mention the "happy birthmark" on the body - believe me, he will certainly want to find it. Men, like children, love to look at treasure maps.

11. Be sexy but unaware of it

All of the above (including clothing and perfume) is a natural continuation of our personality and works on a subconscious level without your additional intervention. Behave as naturally as possible and if you really like a man, don't be afraid to show it to him.