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How to erase bad memories forever. How to forget an unpleasant situation

In the life of every person there have been periods that I would like to erase from memory. Some, despite all the difficulties, take themselves in hand and move to a new level, only occasionally remembering the shocks that have occurred, others cannot constantly think about the past, thereby depriving themselves of the chance to be happy in the present and future. It doesn't matter what burden of the past haunts you: parting with your loved one, missed opportunities, death of loved ones, betrayal of friends, feelings of guilt ... Now is the time to forget the past forever and start living in the present. How to stop living in the past?

Not thinking about the past: why doesn't it let us go?

Many people ask the question: why some people, having experienced very serious shocks and trials, recover quickly enough and start a new life, while others fall into a long-term depression and cannot stop living in the past after the unsuccessful completion of a two-month romance?

Psychology can give answers to this, here a lot depends on the age, the atmosphere in which a person lived in childhood, on the type of character and personality. And, even if you consider yourself to be a weak type, who takes any life trials close to your heart, it does not mean at all that you are not able to cope on your own and not think about the past.

Most often, we cannot forget the past and live in the present, as we feel our guilt for the current situation, we are tormented by the thought that we could have acted differently - and thereby change the ending ...

... Sometimes the past does not allow us to forget about itself, because we do not let go of past grievances, we believe that we were treated unfairly.

Our bad memories are like a suitcase full of useless junk, which we habitually carry with us everywhere ... Do you need such a load?

... And sometimes it is impossible to forget the past and live in the present because we like this state of self-pity, we are not ready to change, grow, we are comfortable sitting in our shell, cherishing our grief, shutting ourselves off from the whole world around us. Here is such masochism. How to change the situation and start enjoying life again?

How to forget the past and start living in the present: 5 steps to a happy life

Healing from old wounds is a difficult and often long process, but whatever lies behind our shoulders, each of us can stop living in the past. Here are the steps to help you get rid of your worries forever:

1. First step- Realize that the past is the past, that it is the thoughts about it that interfere with fully living in the present, planning the future. Of course, this is not easy, but you really want to breathe deeply again, do you?

2. Step two- sorry. Now it doesn't matter who is to blame for what happened in the past, and who hurt you: you or hurt you. It is impossible to turn back time, everything has already been done, and your current suffering will not change the fact. Mentally ask for forgiveness or forgive, you can go to church. If you have offended a person and you know how to contact him, you can call and apologize. And that's all. Turn the page. People have the right to make mistakes: you and your loved ones are no exception. If you think that what you did earlier is too serious or you have no one to apologize to, switch to caring for others. You cannot change what happened, but you can help others and make their lives better. Volunteering in orphanages, nursing homes or animal shelters - think in this direction.

3. Step three- don't be sorry. Regretting lost opportunities, wasted time, broken relationships is a road to nowhere. Regret, as well as self-pity, are generally extremely destructive feelings. Try to look at the situation from a different point of view: you have gained experience, you have learned from your mistakes, you will no longer allow this situation to happen again in your life. And you know what else? Suffering and constantly feeling sorry for yourself, you destroy not only your life, but also the life of your loved ones, who find it hard to see you in such a state. Don't you feel sorry for them?


Remind yourself often that our life goes only in one direction - to the future, nothing can be turned back. Thinking about what could have been is useless

4. Step four- reboot. If the pain is still fresh, you are bursting with negative emotions from within, do not try to be strong, allow yourself one day to scream, cry, break a cup in the end. You can go to the gym and beat a punching bag furiously. Throw the pain out - this will make it easier to forget the past and start living in the present.

5. Step five- replacement rule. Think about how much time and energy you spend on nothing - not letting go of past grievances and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, you could change for the better. To begin with, you can go to the salon, change your hair color, get a manicure, radically change your image, or search in the end. Sign up for driving courses, learning a foreign language, handicrafts. And most importantly, go in for sports. Perfectly relieves yoga from unnecessary thoughts. If you have new interests and hobbies in your life, there will simply be no room for regret and thoughts about the burden of the past.

In general, it seems to me that one of the most effective ways to forget the past- to clear the physical space around you:, to conduct (read where p has led me), to organize little things like books and ... Having let go of things from a past life, you physically feel how life is changing!

Getting rid of the burden of the past and letting go of past grievances is much easier than you now think, the main thing is to start acting right now. In less than a few days, you will be drawn into a new, happy and interesting life.

Even with tremendous efforts, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are a few easy ways you can get rid of bad memories and start life from scratch.

Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that cannot be forgotten. In this article, we will talk about what has already happened to us and what needs to be left in the past forever in order to start living anew.

Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn't matter whether they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our consciousness, because they are an integral part of ourselves. The past is the foundation of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our life, or it can upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments occur in our life, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. The experts of the site offer to your attention several ways at once, with the help of which you can let go of the past and start a new life.

Root Causes of Negative Memories

Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his old life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.

Death of a loved one. It is almost impossible to get rid of this memory, you can only come to terms with it. The death of a loved one can not only turn our life around, but divide it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.

Parting or cheating. It is very difficult to survive the betrayal of a loved one. Cheating leaves a deep wound in the heart and makes us completely disappointed in the opposite sex. Parting is also one of the greatest upheavals in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the emergence of new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.

Moving. Longing for former places and old acquaintances - this is what people who have changed their place of residence encounter. Over time, we get used to a new city, make new friends, but the memories of our familiar places never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to the new life, find your advantages in it. Try to turn back as little as possible, otherwise the moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.

Wrong choice of profession. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and do not even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we remember with bitterness the times when we chose our future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many people say that it's never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the type of activity that you like.

Ways to get rid of negative memories

Before you learn about ways to get rid of negative memories, tune in to a positive attitude. Keep in mind that there are many good things in life besides the unpleasant moments. Suffering and complaining is not a way out of the situation. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living from scratch.

Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some moments of your past. At this stage you need:

  • Letting go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will repeat in his life, and thereby attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. You do not need to put up with the fact that troubles will occur in your life, try to present your future in the best light.
  • Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what to do in a certain situation. To start over, you have to admit that your mistakes are your fault. Thus, you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
  • Forget your mistakes. Perhaps you once betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad act. This does not mean that the memories of him and the feeling of shame should haunt you all your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will make you torture yourself.

After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you got rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.

Learn from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from an unpleasant situation, you can learn a useful lesson that will help you avoid missteps in the future. Our past is an invaluable experience, because all the events that happened directly related to us. Your task is to learn the most important and useful from it and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.

Release from negative memories. The most important stage has arrived at which you must completely get rid of negative memories. To do this, you will need:

  • Choose the right attitude. Start each morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
  • Psychological reception with water. If negative memories persist, turn on the faucet and pretend they are flowing away with water.
  • Get rid of things that are associated with negative memories. If there are things in the house with which you have negative memories, get rid of them. For example, after parting with a loved one, you do not need to keep gifts and joint photos, no matter how dear they are to you. One glance at them will pull you into the past, not allowing you to move forward.
  • Change the environment. If the atmosphere around you makes you bored and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do renovations or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you distract from negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
  • Change the look. To understand your real inner state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will cause self-pity even in you. Think, are your memories worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and boutique shopping. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
  • Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you do not need to make a personal meeting with each of the offenders, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
  • Master meditation. Meditation practices help you relax and free your thoughts from all unnecessary things, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will recede into the background.
  • Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits litter a person's life. The minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful, you are wasting to your own detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic drinks negatively affect the nervous system, and during their use, people begin to be overcome by past life memories and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will be doing a great service to yourself and your body.

Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories

Meditation is the best way to relax and release negative memories. This meditation practice is simple, and you can do it at any time of the day.

First, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to do the meditation in nature, but if you do not have this opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to retire.

Imagine that you are in a beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful environment reigns around you, and the only thing that prevents you from taking a step forward is a heavy bag in your hands. In your mind, you must open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:

  • I let go of my past;
  • I myself (a) can control my thoughts;
  • I am free from my memories;
  • I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
  • I live in the present;
  • I love only myself and my family;
  • I can meet a new love;
  • I will find

Each of us has our own past, which keeps different memories, pleasant and not very good, and those that you don't want to remember. If only it was possible to remove from memory all the difficult moments that have ever happened to us. Just take it and forget it, erase it, throw it out of our memory. But is it possible to get rid of them so easily? Most often, it is the negative experience and events that most of all sit in us and periodically emerge, making it difficult to move on. And no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, nothing can be done with them.

The past, especially if there were many different unpleasant moments in it, affects our present and future. Until you let it go, you will continue to live in the past. And this will bring you nothing but pain. They say that a person is happy only when he is completely in the present moment of life. Only the present makes sense, because only in it you can change something and lay the foundations for the future that you want to have.

Let's take a closer look at how our brain remembers something. So, any event that remains in the memory is stored along with the feelings, emotions that arise at this moment. All 5 senses are involved here. For example, have you ever had such a thing that smell alone can raise a memory? It can also be a certain gesture, place, picture, sound. It is the emotions that you experienced at that event that make you return to it again and again. Negative emotions are more memorable because they stress the entire body. It is with them that we will deal further.

Of course, it is impossible to erase any memory from your head, but you can remove its influence on you. This is what will be discussed further. How to remove the consequences of such negative events? Here are some things you can do to ensure that memories no longer burden your future life.

First of all, if you want to get rid of some memories, you will need to remove all things that connect you with this event... Do not regret getting rid of them. It is they who bring you back to this memory again. As long as they are with you, you will remember. This applies not only to things, but also to the place where something happened. Try not to visit these places for a while, go around them until the negativity goes away from it. This is only for a while, until you can pass through there calmly. It happens that specific people prevent you from forgetting the past. Each time you communicate with them and meet them, your thoughts are in the past again.

Stop communicating with these people, at least for a while, or exclude them from your social circle altogether. And you will see how it becomes easier for you. While they are with you, it will be hard for you to forget everything that was associated with them. Therefore, the first step is to get rid of everything and everyone that you intend to forget.
A change of scenery has a positive effect. If something very unpleasant or painful happened to you, and you want to forget it sooner, go on vacation. To a calm quiet place where you could rest your soul and "heal wounds". This works very well. Do not deny yourself anything there, pamper yourself a little, get new positive emotions. And you will be surprised when you return. There is no more negative from the past, as positive emotions have blocked negative ones. A change of scenery is almost like starting life with a clean slate. A wonderful opportunity to change the future for the better.

Another way is understand what happened and reflect on it. This will allow you to look at events from a different angle. You cannot change anything in the past, but you can change your attitude towards what happened. Take everything apart and try to see the positive and the good in it. After all, every situation teaches you something, teaches you a lesson, makes you wiser and stronger. The next time you will not find yourself in a similar situation, or you can easily deal with it without emotion. In fact, everything that happens to us is only for our benefit, teaches us life and helps to build it. Look at the past and feel the present. Would I be who I am now without the past I have? No, it was the past that made you who you are now. Be grateful for that. You can paint yourself the positive aspects of what happened. This will help change your attitude.

The next way, the simplest but most effective, is wait... What to expect, you ask? Wait for the emotions to stop raging in you and subside. And everything will disappear by itself. Any emotion sooner or later passes, or is replaced by another. As they say, time heals, these are wise words. Quietly wait for everything inside to be calm again. You will stop mentally returning to the past so often, emotions will go away, gradually everything will be forgotten, and you will calm down. Of course, the first time will be difficult, but nothing is simply given, wait out this period and that's it. As a rule, only the first month is difficult, then it will be easier.

And the last way do something new... Start attending courses, trainings. Go in for sports, it adds happiness hormones. read interesting fascinating books, watch good films. You can master some new skill, for example, needlework, drawing, pottery, mastering a musical instrument. While you are doing what you love, thoughts about the past will visit you less often. It will distract you and give you good emotions. Try to do your job well, and you will be glad that you can do it.

And finally, you can use the new methods discovered in modern psychology. If you feel that you yourself cannot cope, then turn to the professionals. Here you will find a lot of ways - from an ordinary psychologist to various practices and trainings. There are many techniques in this area, they all really work. Some work with very old memories on a subconscious level that you are not even aware of. Here, it's up to you to choose what suits you. So go ahead and have good memories.

Not only has there been so much negativity in your life. Most people have terrible memories that need to be given free rein for a second and they will be devoured. Therefore, let's talk about how to forget bad memories. By the way, if you can do it, your psychological state will change for the better, which means that the present will become a little better.

Do I need a psychotherapist?

Sometimes they just sit and assent, shaking their heads. The same thing happens when communicating with friends: a friend sits and assent, it all comes down to grinding a terrible past and rending old wounds. So, we don't need such a psychotherapist. But a more sensible one is quite suitable, but only with the condition that you will work together.

Both cognitive therapy and body-oriented therapy can help. And here is a pretty effective way from a psychotherapist who suggested to the author how to get rid of bad memories (well, or part of them) in a week. We just start a notebook (you can have an ugly picture) and for a whole week we write down all the bad memories of childhood with adolescence, as well as maturity. We do not hesitate and pour everything out. The second option is from Simoron Lissi Moussa: we write down all the muck on small pieces of paper, and everywhere, even at work, even in a trolleybus. Also spend a week on this. And on Saturday we string everything on a string and wear it on the belt, like a tail. There is only one result: both the tail and the notebook must be burned on Sunday evening and the ashes must be dispelled. Then go from that place with a brisk pace and without looking back.

If this is laborious and unpleasant for you, just shout out and speak out, even if you are assenting to your friend, who is ready to grind this negativity for the umpteenth time. The next thing to do is to extract a spoonful of honey from all this and understand what was the benefit of all this evil. Well, now you can get rid of this trash of negative memories.

We say goodbye

We forgive ourselves and forgive those who have become the source of bad memories. A mature person fully understands that at the time of the wrong act, he probably had no other choice. As well as the one who offended him. The only thing you can do here is forgive. Try to understand what is unacceptable for you (insults, betrayal, humiliation of your neighbor, self-affirmation at someone else's expense, scams) for others may be the norm, because in another way such people were not taught and they were not given the same upbringing as you. And further. If you have ever been insulted or humiliated, this does not mean that you are bad. Perhaps it was just a person who asserted himself in this way, or he pursued his own goals, at the achievement of which you were just something passing through.

We pick up the ball

There is one method for forgetting bad memories even for a short time. This method will not get rid of them forever, but it certainly will not let them take possession of you. So, as soon as something unpleasant comes to mind, we pick up the ball and remember a child's play: I know ten names of boys. We hit the ball against the wall and remember the five names of the boys. We complicate it further. Today you saw ten beautiful things and made ten good days. It doesn’t heal, but it does relieve the pain.

Anyway, active movements and physical activity can work a miracle. We do yoga or something from the category of "intelligent body" four times a week. It takes a little time, but it is distracting. Helps in the first time after a flurry of negative emotions.

Getting rid of things

How to get rid of bad memories if everything around them “turns on” their button? No way. So, we take out all the things that remind of betrayed friends to the trash can. We also send a photo of the betrayed husband there ... Things should not become a source of negative memories. It is much more difficult with phrases and words that provoke.

Coming up with an alternative history

In fact, memories can be easily swapped. Moreover, even the most negative memories sometimes become overgrown with unpleasant details that ... were not there.

So why not replace them with good ones? Or even instead of loneliness, poverty and humiliation on the part of classmates and parents in adolescence, imagine that you were popular, provided for and loved by your parents.

If in childhood you were attacked by a dog and since then you are afraid of them, then you can revive in your memory the moment that your older brother or father protected you. And then think about how good it is to be saved by a brother or dad. You can also rewrite an unpleasant story from the past and change the course of events so that everything ends happily and happily.

Just an exercise

You can lie on the sofa or sit in the most comfortable chair. The main thing is to be alone and quiet. Watch your breath a little. Try to imagine your memory in some collective way. You don't really need a clear picture - you need something that makes you feel emotional. Now attach the adjustment knobs to this picture: just like on an old TV. If this is already difficult for your imagination, a remote control on which you can remove the sound and brightness will do. Now rotate this knob or press the button on the remote control. First, remove the sound to zero. Now, you no longer hear insults from classmates or ex-half. Now we remove the contrast of the memory. Finally, remove the brightness. As a result, an unpleasant picture from the past should turn into a silent spot. Do all this as smoothly as possible, slowly destroying memories. You can repeat the exercise when negative moments come back to mind.

The second option is to place the resulting picture in a room with many lamps. And now, slowly but surely, we turn off the lamps one by one: the first, second, tenth ... the image becomes worse and worse ... You can also repeat this exercise. Over time, you will realize that the memory is no longer so painful.

You can also imagine that what hurts you like that is just a dream from the past.

Also, remember that memories are just imprints from the past. They simply no longer exist, just as there is no past. Have you been bullied by the kids at school? You can look at the children passing under your window now. Are you afraid? So, there is no past, which means that it is quite possible to get rid of it.

Chances are, everyone has memories that people would like to forget. An alarming incident, an embarrassing situation, humiliation, insults from a loved one - it can be anything. And no matter how hard you try to forget it, the memory resists.

You don't have to suppress all unpleasant thoughts. There are times when you need to think about what went wrong in order to learn from your mistakes and move on. But when the only result of your thoughts is to prolong the pain, you need to get rid of them and move on.

According to recent research, people can program themselves to forget everything on purpose. Here's how to forget what you don't want to remember.

Drive bad thoughts away

The conscious decision not to think about bad memories can help erase them forever. When you're reminded of something you don't want to think about, don't let your mind think about it.

Forget all the details associated with memories

To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, emotions associated with them. Details can include smells, sounds, or images associated with an event you don't want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, get the details out of your head. It could be a song playing in the background, or people who were looking at you at the time.

Do it daily.

It is difficult to suppress unpleasant memories. Any thought that is repressed has a tendency to ricochet. For example, if you want to block the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain searches for any thought about it to block it. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you do not block it, the thought rushes back, again haunts you. Thus, you need to block the memories on a daily basis. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.

Don't focus too much on thought blocking

Trapped thoughts tend to revive faster and stronger when you give them too much value, pay attention to it. Acknowledge the fact that it is very difficult to suppress thoughts, but you must keep working on it, and try not to overdo it.

Avoid triggers

Certain images, objects, smells, or places can give you bad memories. Throw objects or images that prevent you from forgetting what you don't want to remember from your head. Avoid places or meetings with people that remind you of your painful past.

Distract your mind

Another strategy you can try is to replace the bad memory with something good. If the thought of past failure continues to haunt you, try thinking about how you've done well in the past. Don't let bad memories affect your mood. As soon as they wash over you, start thinking about something good.

Associate something positive with a bad memory.

Learn to associate negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you overcome bad feelings. For example, think about your bad moment while enjoying a good movie, or do what makes you happy. Positive association will make your negative memory less painful.

Become aware of the memory

Another theory suggests that being fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you cope with painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or painful. Scream, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to reduce their influence over you.

Use a release ritual to erase memory

This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual to release negative emotions or memories that have lodged in your mind. Write down every detail of the memories you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn a sheet of paper. When you see that the paper is on fire, you mentally free your memory. Alternatively, you can also rip or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.

Practice mindfulness

Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or foreseen in the future. Don't live your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you to be mindful and appreciate every moment of your life.

Live your life to the fullest and create good memories

Always be around people who make you happy. If possible, travel and meet new people. Communicate as much as possible. This will help you form new good memories, which will naturally make your bad memories fade away.

Don't sit around

Come up with a new hobby or physical activity. Dedicate yourself to creativity and take part in arts and crafts activities. Expend your energy creating something new, or try yourself as a volunteer. You will be constantly busy with business, and you will have less time to spend thinking about bad memories.

Talk to someone about it

Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help. Their advice, opinions, and similar stories can give you a different perspective on things and help you forget what you don't want to remember.

By following all of these tips, you can erase bad memories from your memory and regain complete control over your life.