How to Raise Children Happy. What should parents do to make their child happy? What to do if a girl needs the image of a father

16.05.2019

All parents want the best for their child. What could be more beautiful than a healthy and happy child. Preservation of bodily health and well-being can be found in the medical literature. Many parents are already familiar with it. But in the abyss of household chores, we forget about the most important thing - children's happiness. Let's discuss how to raise a happy child.

All parents want to raise their children happy

What is happiness

Adult and child happiness are not always equivalent concepts. Parents, through ignorance or their own experience, make mistakes for which children pay the price for their whole lives. An interesting statement by one sage that love is the desire to make a person happy with or without you. A really happy child is a small person, cheerful, confident, independent, he knows how to get out of a difficult situation with minimal losses.

In order to know how to raise a child happy, it is necessary to consider in detail the concept of happiness. After all, it is not always the presence of material wealth, health, success. There are many examples of celebrities who had it all and were not completely happy people.

Read the book How to Raise Your Child Happy

Happiness is the fulfillment of a cherished desire, the achievement of a result. This is another feature. Typically, this condition does not last very long. It is necessary from a young age to accustom the child to the idea that this is absolutely normal. Each person should have a whole list of desires, which is constantly growing. Doing one of them is just one step to happiness.

Life is a constant movement, if you stop and tell yourself that there are no more goals and desires, then your existence will stop at the same time. In a child, you need to cultivate a sense of the infinity of improvement and the versatility of life. This principle will make it easier to cope with difficulties and failures, because you can always work on mistakes and start fulfilling the next desire.

Determining which child is happy

The main features of an absolutely happy child:

feels the absolute, unselfish love of parents,
feels like a significant person in the family, to whom they listen,
calmly but effectively works through criticism,
feels the support, support of his family.
Moderately emotional, this is not always a smiling and cheerful baby, he can cry, get angry, disappoint, be surprised.

Children should be happy at any age

What family is capable of raising a happy baby?

In such a family, an atmosphere of unconditional love reigns between all family members. The principle of continuity applies to this feature. If you were raised in this way by your parents, then you will pass on the feeling of selfless love to your children. But if you are unlucky, then change the situation.
Parents and children are patient with each other.
The basis of existence is optimism and belief in a bright future.
The desire of each family member to be in demand and self-realization.
Attentive attitude to all family members, taking into account individual characteristics.

Only happy parents can raise happy children.

The principle of unconditional parental love.

It is impossible to raise a happy child without parental love, which is not a gift for good behavior or is absent if the child has committed an offense. The absence of this unconditional feeling forms negative self-esteem. The child feels that he will be loved only if he succeeds. If the baby does not succeed, then resentment and censure multiply. Such a person can never be happy.

Tell your children about your love

Tell your child that you love him every day when the baby wakes up. If he asks for what, then sincerely answer just like that. The child will feel your support, contact you if necessary.

Explain everything to the kid.

Children are very curious, as they grow and develop, a huge and unpredictable world opens up in front of the baby, in which everything is interesting. The child may forget your reasoning, which he once heard, or he may just test you. It is no coincidence that some time ago the book was the best gift. The parent should be the most knowledgeable person to whom the child always washes to turn.

Answer children's questions

Patiently explaining everything to the child, you acquaint him with the outside world, strengthen his faith in the power of knowledge. The kid begins to feel confident, even if he does not know something, an adult, the World Wide Web or a book will always help.

Show respect for your child.

How to raise a child happy if you do not respect him. Self-esteem is formed in early childhood through the attitude of adults. It is a huge delusion that the baby does not understand anything, so you can neglect his aspirations and desires. Always ask your child's opinion about an action. The kid will gradually realize his importance. It will be easy for him to join any team and defend his interests.

Show respect for your children

You can raise a child through dialogue.

Always talk to your baby. In dialogue, he and you can express your feelings, thoughts. This action will help the child to know himself better, to be able to express his emotions.

Chat with your child more often.

The child lives in a society where it is very important to express his thoughts. Parents of today are estranged from their children. The child spends a lot of time in front of electronic devices and TV. There should be an adult between the equipment and the baby, who will explain everything. If the baby trusts technology, then over time, mom and dad cease to be authoritative. Talk with your young and not so children in everything, a sense of continuity is important.

Punishments are about taking away rewards, not doing bad things.

In case of misconduct, deprive the baby of treats, entertainment, encouragement. A negative act should not be associated with physical labor, punishment, or humiliation of the child's dignity. This will make the baby feel annoyed and resentful. Perhaps a book on parenting from yesteryear will teach you the principles of negative motivation, but gentle methods should be used with children.

How to punish correctly

Know how to say a tough no.

A child should not violate prohibitions

Your goal is to raise a happy person, not an infantile child who knows no boundaries. Prohibitions should be implemented very rarely, but if the parent said no, then it should be law for the child. This is irreplaceable in case of danger or saving the health of the child.

Prohibitions must be unconditional

Let your child make mistakes and solve them together.

So the child will not be afraid of any difficulties, he will be happy regardless of the situation. In the modern world, this is a very important quality. The child will be calm about criticism. These qualities will be useful to a child in a children's team, at school and at work.

Raise independence in children

Reward your little one for achievement.

This will increase the baby's self-esteem and give valuable positive emotions.

Encourage your child often

The very fact increases self-esteem, but also the feeling of happiness from achieving the goal. The opinion of the parents is very important for the child, if the achievement is worthy of this, then be sure to praise the baby. The rule of succession also applies in this case.

Teach your baby to smile.

Teach Children to Laugh

For some babies, smiling is natural, but some babies are very serious. Be sure to rejoice if you are watching a funny movie, before you is a humorous book, a note. Laugh where appropriate.

How is an obedient child different from a successful one? How to properly respond to children's mistakes and their own mistakes? What is the global difference in parenting boys and girls? And how to teach a child to be happy and self-confident? These and other questions in his book "Children from Heaven" are answered by John Gray - the author of the bestselling book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." The most interesting and close to us quotes from the book are in this post.

Material prepared by: Nadezhda Nazaryan

Raising kids who are confident

“The methods of the past were aimed at raising obedient children. The positive approach is aimed at raising responsive children who do not obey the rules out of fear, but act spontaneously and make decisions according to the dictates of the heart. And if such children do not lie, it is not because it is against the rules, but because they are honest and fair. Morality for them is not something imposed from the outside - it comes from the inside, nurtured by cooperation with parents. "

“Educational methods of the past have focused on teaching children to obey. Positive parenting seeks to build self-confident leaders who are able to shape their own destiny, rather than just following in the footsteps of those in the lead. Confident children are very aware of who they are and what they want to achieve. "

5 principles of positive parenting

It's okay to be different from others.
It's okay to make mistakes.
It is normal to show negative emotions.
It's okay to want more.
It's okay to disagree, but remember that Mom and Dad are in charge.

They are already good

“As parents, we must first of all acknowledge, respect and support our children's natural growth. We are not required to somehow shape them into the kind of people we think they should be. However, it is our responsibility to provide them with wise support when it comes to developing their innate talents and strengths.
Children don't need us to guide or improve them, but their growth depends on our support. We must provide fertile soil on which the fruits of their greatness can grow. They can do the rest themselves. The apple seed contains a detailed plan for its future growth and development. Likewise, in the growing mind, heart and body of every child there is a detailed plan for his development. Don't feel like you need to make your kids good - admit that they are already good. "

Boys - more trust, and girls - more care

“Parents need to learn to show their love for boys and girls in different ways. For example, girls need more care; but if you take too much care of the boy, he will feel that you do not trust him. The boy needs more trust; but if you show too much trust in a girl, she may feel like she is not being cared for too much. Fathers unknowingly tend to give girls what boys need, and mothers tend to surround boys with the care girls need. By recognizing that girls and boys have different needs, parents can meet them more fully. In addition, they have less reason to argue over parenting methods. Dads are from Mars, mothers are from Venus. "

No more, but otherwise

“The most common mistake parents make is that they try to give as much as possible. At the same time, what they seek to provide children in large quantities often turns out to be impractical: more money, more toys, things, entertainment, more education, extracurricular activities, help, praise, more time, responsibility, freedom, discipline, supervision, punishment, more communication, etc. However, in reality, here, as in other areas of life, "more" does not mean "better." You don't need more, you need it differently. The task of parents is not to give more, but to approach parenting differently from our own fathers and mothers. "

Request instead of order

“Collaboration means instilling in children a desire to listen to your requests and fulfill them. The first step is to learn how to give orders as efficiently as possible. Hard orders don't work here. Judge for yourself: if at work someone commanded you at every step, would you like it? And the day of the child is full of endless instructions. Not surprisingly, mothers often complain that their children do not obey them. Would you yourself perceive a person who constantly nags you? "

“Positive parenting proposes replacing orders, demands, and prodding with a request. Wouldn't you rather if your boss (or life partner) begs than orders? In this case, you would follow his orders much more willingly. The same goes for your child. This is a very simple change, but it takes a lot of practice. Instead of ordering, "Brush your teeth," say, "Will you brush your teeth?" Instead of saying, "Don't hit your brother," say, "Please don't touch your brother."

Let's do it

“The most powerful magic word to achieve cooperation is the word“ come on ”.

Until the age of nine, children usually have a very poorly formed sense of their own "I". By constantly commanding your child, you are building a wall between yourself and your son or daughter instead of reinforcing the natural bond that exists between parent and child.

Whenever possible, invite children to participate in activities with you. Even when you ask your child to complete a specific task, for example: "Would you like to clean the room?" - precede your request with a phrase like: "Let's get ready for the party." If your request becomes part of an invitation to joint activities, children are more willing to cooperate. "

“The come on formula can be used in most situations until a child is nine years old. After that, the words "Let's clean up the room" will sound fake if you yourself are not going to participate in the process. "

4 types of temperament - 4 methods of education

“There are four main types of children's temperament, which is why children require a different approach.

The first temperament is sensitive. Sensitive children are vulnerable and sensitive. They are acutely aware of their own reactions to life circumstances regarding their needs and desires. In order to adapt to life, they need to be clearly aware of their own feelings - and in this case, they are willing to make changes. These children respond best when listened to and understood.

Sensitive children need empathy and acknowledgment of their feelings and grievances.

The second temperament is active. Active children are less concerned with their own reaction to life circumstances, they are more interested in the ability to influence the world around them. They strive to act and achieve results. They motivate themselves to act and show the greatest desire for cooperation when they know what to do or have a certain plan. They need to constantly move forward, lead and do things their own way.

Active children always need to know the plan of action, the rules of the game and who is in charge. To keep the active child's resistance to a minimum, give him the opportunity to lead.

The third temperament is reactive. Reactive kids are outgoing and friendly. They develop a sense of self based on their relationships with people and reactions to the outside world. They strive to see, hear, feel and experience everything that life has to offer. These children have broad interests, so they need external stimulation more than others.

Reactive children learn about themselves by their own reactions to life experience.

The fourth temperament is receptive. Susceptible children worry more than others about how life is going. They want to know what will happen next and what to expect from the future.

It is necessary to set tasks for such a child. Without proper support, he may not acquire any interests at all. Regime, ritual and rhythm create the necessary basis for him to take risks and undertake something new. "

Raise a successful person

“Success in life does not come when a person follows the rules. Success comes when a person thinks with his own head, following his own will and the call of his heart. This natural ability is nurtured when you strengthen your child's innate desire for cooperation. If parents demand obedience from the child, his will is dulled. The mind and heart are closed, and the child forgets about his potential to live the life that is intended for him. If you remind the child that it is normal to resist, but remember that mom and dad are in charge, his mind and heart remain open and he develops the ability to be aware of his desires and aspirations in life. "

The meaning of boundaries

“When a child demands his own too insistently, it means that he does not get what he really needs. The same applies to adults: if a person is unhappy because he does not receive something in the outside world, the true cause of unhappiness is that he lacks love and support. But there is always enough love around - we simply do not see it.

Children need the boundaries they are trying to cross. If there are no boundaries, the child becomes restless and insecure. When a child too often succeeds in getting his way, he is not satisfied with what he has acquired. We can truly appreciate what we have only when we are aware of our true needs. The resistance of the outside world helps a person to understand what he really needs, and not to get hung up on what he wants. "

It's okay to make mistakes

“Children don't need perfect parents; they need parents who do the best they can and take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Apologizing later is very important. You could say, “I'm sorry I yelled at you. You didn't do anything to yell at you. And in general, shouting is not a method of communication. That's my fault.

When a child has made a mistake, this is the wrong time to remind him of the mistakes made in the past.
When you punish and get angry with your child, you are using outdated communication methods. The best reaction to a child's mistakes is to look indifferent or tired. You don't need to pay much attention to the error itself. Instead, focus on redirecting your baby by asking him to do something. In this case, you can ask the child to help you collect the fragments. "

From innocence to responsibility

“At about the age of nine, the child begins to develop a sense of his own self as a separate entity from his parents. This is the time of self-awareness. From this point until the age of eighteen, children need more trust, although care is still needed.

“It is always inappropriate to be ashamed of a child. Only after the age of nine should you gradually invite the child to take responsibility for mistakes and correct them. In the first nine years of life, the child must develop a sense of innocence, and in the next nine years, learn responsibility. When a child turns nine years old, he is already ready to gradually take responsibility for his mistakes and correct them. Until the age of nine, parents should turn a blind eye to the child's mistakes and treat them neutrally.

Children are programmed to automatically correct themselves after making a mistake. The main reason children and adults do not correct their behavior is because they are afraid to admit they are wrong. Natural self-correction requires a sense that it's okay to make mistakes. ”

Learn to be happy

“In the first seven years of life, the child's sense of self is formed primarily under the influence of parents or immediate guardians. Over the next seven years (seven to fourteen), parenting remains strong, but siblings, relatives and friends are increasingly influencing the development of a positive sense of self. At the next stage (from fourteen to twenty-one), adolescents and young people increasingly define and develop their “I” under the influence of peers and people striving for the same goals as them.

Overloading children in the first fourteen years is a mistake. During these years, they need to learn to be happy. The ability to be happy is the most important art of life. Happiness does not come from the outside world, but from within. This is art. Happy are happy regardless of external circumstances. "

Greetings, my dear readers! Every parent wants maximum happiness for their children. And this is not surprising. But often the mother tries to instill in the child her understanding of happiness and tries to squeeze it into this framework. But children may have a completely different idea of a happy future, which has nothing to do with our ideas. Let's try to figure out how to raise a child happy, not crush his dreams with your own, and help him achieve success.

Everyone has their own happiness

The first thing I ask you to think about is how you envision happiness. Have you presented? Ask your husband what happiness is for him. And then with a friend, with their parents, with colleagues. I assure you, every person has their own peculiarities in understanding a happy life.

Very often there are mothers who, in an attempt to make their boy happy, raise a mama's son out of him, who cannot even take a step without her permission.

A son from childhood must get used to the role of a man. And a man doesn't ask permission, he explores the world, makes mistakes, gets bumps and so on. With a girl, of course, it is somewhat easier in this regard. But it is not worth making a home flower out of it, which is not adapted to the outside world.

Remember, your children deserve their own happiness, not yours.

A more competent act on your part will be to help your son or daughter figure out what happiness is for them, what they enjoy, what makes them feel joy. And then teach them to strive for their happiness, not to be afraid of obstacles, not to be afraid of difficulties, to draw conclusions from the mistakes that will surely be.

The family should be a support, a loyal support, a fortress, where you don't have to be afraid, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, you can be yourself. To know that, even if they do not understand you, they will definitely support you.

So, one of my acquaintances did not understand at all the hobby of her son - parkour. And he jumped and ran on roofs, garages. But she supported him, did not forbid him, only asked him to be as careful as possible. And now the guy is so carried away by this area that he opened his own school for teenagers so that they can study in a safe place. This is the power of parental support that undeniably helps you become a successful person.

I bring to your attention two books that may help you with upbringing: Anna Bykova " How to become a lazy mom"And Natalya Ilyina" How to Raise Your Child Smart and Happy».

Make your own happiness

It is not for nothing that they say that happy children grow up with happy parents. When there are problems at home, it strongly affects the children. They are very susceptible to parental quarrels and scandals. They often blame themselves in many ways, they take on a burden of responsibility that is beyond their ability.

Your task is to create a supportive atmosphere. I'm not saying that you need to deal only with yourself, think only about your goals, dreams and desires, and the baby will somehow grow up himself. Catch the sweet spot.

If you are a single mother, then you should not think that you alone will not succeed. I know a huge number of examples of women who raised wonderful sons and daughters without any involvement of their former spouse. Read the article "How to raise a child alone" and you will get rid of all your worries and fears.

A joyful parent sets an example. When the baby sees that his mom and dad are happy, then he will subconsciously strive for a similar state of affairs. Do not be afraid to ask children for help, but it is important not to force them to do something under the influence.

It is important to cultivate a desire to help your loved ones. And this is brought up by reciprocal help from your side. But too much interference will not help you. You should not get involved in every case of children. When they ask you for advice or help, then take action. Otherwise, you can ruin the initiative, undermine trust and raise a dependent person.

Unfortunately or fortunately, there are no definite rules for parenting. Each parent chooses his own way of interacting with children.

When I raised my first child, it begins to seem that now it is possible to cope with two, three, four children. But it is not always the case. After all, each baby has its own characteristics. And some of the techniques that worked with the firstborn won't always work with other babies. Remember this and try to find a special approach to each baby.

What qualities should be emphasized in order to get a developed child? Here, only you can choose. In any case, you will not be able to do everything at once. Listen to your inner voice and closely follow the baby, his needs, desires, dreams.

Some parents just want to see their own in any group. Only they do not think that it is much more comfortable for a child to be alone with himself. Learn to distinguish between your desires and the desires of your baby.

Neither father, nor mother, nor grandparents should insist on their vision of happiness. Try to help find yours. In my opinion, this is much more priceless and important in life than following someone else's rules.

What does a happy child mean to you? How do you help your little one find happiness? What makes your kids feel happy? What helped you define happiness?

You will definitely succeed in raising a happy and successful baby! Best wishes to you!

(2 votes: 5 out of 5)

How to Raise a Happy Child? It seems that the answer on the surface is to love him, to pay special attention to his spiritual life. If it is adjusted, there will be order. And this important matter has its own secrets and nuances. Indeed, in the daily life of children, which is often routine and little things, you can add something special and unusual. And it is not at all necessary that these will be expensive toys and outfits. Let's hear some tips!

First of all, the child will remember the atmosphere of his childhood and carry the memories of joyful moments throughout his life. This is why it is important for your baby to be happy.

How to raise a happy child? Not smart, not well-read, not talented, not obedient, but just happy? A simple answer suggests itself: "The most important thing is to love your child dearly." There is no point in discussing this opinion. Every mommy loves her baby.

But what exactly can parents do to raise their child happy? We have compiled 12 ways, tips and steps for caring moms and dads.

1. Learn to enjoy life

Upbringing is not always purposeful learning, often parental example is much more important. Do you want your kids to be happy? Be happy yourself. Sounds a little selfish, but sincere. When mom and dad are friendly, enjoy life, change the world for the better, do what they love, the baby begins to repeat after them.

Psychologists say that in families with depressed adults, children behave much worse, study poorly and have no friends.

Agree, it is difficult to experience pleasant emotions being next to frowning parents who do not love their work, cursing the authorities and the state. It is necessary to rejoice and have fun - at least for the sake of the children, no matter how strange it may sound. Therefore, communicate with friends more often, go out with children to entertainment events and leave a bad mood outside the doorstep.

2. Raise an optimist

Statistics are relentless - an optimist is more successful in school, career and sports. 12 Ways to Raise Your Child Happy Optimistic people are healthier than pessimists and live much longer. The advice is both simple and difficult - teach your child to look at the world around them with confidence and optimism. Oscar Wilde said: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Remember what you notice around? What are you paying attention to? Snow drifts or beautiful snow caps on the trees? On the spring slush or bird trills? To the hum of cars or cheerful children's laughter? Teach your child to see and, most importantly, celebrate positive things. Play a game: sit side by side in the evening and recall 10 good experiences from the past day.

3. Be sincere

You can often hear interesting advice - experts teach moms to restrain themselves, not scream, smile, and not show their anger and irritation. Of course, a smile is wonderful, but only if it comes from the heart.

Children perfectly feel their mother's mood, you cannot hide from them that, despite the gallant appearance, the parent is seething with anger inside. This discrepancy confuses and scares the little ones.

It will be difficult to teach a child to express emotions if you yourself hide them.

Therefore, laugh if you are having fun, frown, if you are angry, be sad if you are sad, explaining to the little one why you are experiencing these feelings.

And along the way, teach him to correctly tell about his experiences: "You are angry with me, because I did not buy you a typewriter." So you will pass on to children the ability to "read" their own and others' emotions.

4. Don't scold for mistakes.

There are interesting studies in the psychological literature. So, scientists offered kids tasks of different difficulty levels. Children of overly demanding parents, fearing not to live up to their mother's expectations, preferred the easiest tasks, which they would definitely cope with.

Guys, whom their parents praise and encourage their experiments and efforts, boldly took on difficult exercises.

Childhood was created for experimentation. Crumbs try different things, making mistakes along the way. Therefore, do not scold or criticize for an incorrectly performed action.

Talk to your child, explain to him what he did wrong and what needs to be fixed. Only in this case your child will not be afraid of the new, on the contrary, he will strive for the next achievements.

5. Demonstrate the importance of your child.

Children have a natural need to feel needed and important. Let the baby understand from an early age that he makes a tiny, but important contribution to home comfort. This will not only make him happy, but will also greatly increase his self-esteem.

From the age of three, children are able to fulfill simple requests: wipe the dust from the table, put spoons on the table, pour dry food into the cat's dish.

By the way, many household chores contribute to child development. Sorting forks and spoons, for example, can help you organize things.

6. Play with children more often

Unfortunately, modern kids have practically no time for a natural activity at their age - games.

The main activity for children is to play. And joint games bring parents and kids together remarkably. With the help of ordinary dolls and cubs, you can teach a baby a lot, relieve him of fears, and find new friends.

Therefore, put aside your phone, laptop, ladle, carve out at least half an hour a day and devote this time only to your child. Play with him!

7. Teach to build relationships

Adults are somewhat easier - they are waiting for advice from psychologists on how to establish relationships with a spouse, friends, parents, work colleagues. And who will tell the kid what to do if peers in the kindergarten do not take him to play?

How to react if they call him a "weakling" at school? It will not work to get away with the formal words "not worth paying attention".

If you want to make your child happy, teach him to communicate, negotiate, defend himself, get out of conflict situations with his head held high.

Happiness, including, is the ability to establish relationships with people around you.

8. Provide choices

Believe me, such a choice is extremely important for him. The child begins to feel that he can control his life, understands his responsibility and feels your trust.

The same goes for older children. If you think your daughter should go to music school, ask if she wants to.

Perhaps her dream is swimming. Will she be happy playing the violin? Or do you prefer your child to fulfill your own aspirations?

9. Train yourself to self-discipline

An important point in raising children is the daily routine. He not only helps the child to feel the time, but also disciplines him.

Each parent wishes the best for his child, strives to educate him as a worthy person. But how to do that? Many people ask the question: "How to raise children happy?" What should be given to a child, what should be put into him from childhood, so that he grows up and can say to himself: "I am a happy person!"? Let's figure it out together.

Happy child - what is he like?

To understand how to raise a happy child, you need to determine who such a happy child is:

he feels that he is always loved, regardless of his deeds;
knows that he will always be protected;
participates in the solution of important issues, people are interested in his opinion;
feels that he is unique and is accepted as he is;
optimistic and joyful;
knows his place in the team of peers, respects himself;
knows that his parents are happy too.

Fostering happiness: where to start?

The upbringing of a child begins with the family, or rather, with the parents themselves. It depends on them what their child will become in adulthood, and even what he will bring to the upbringing of his children.

I would only know for sure how to raise a successful and happy child. Our tips will help you in this matter:

Start with yourself. No wonder the phrase "If you want to make the world a better place - start with yourself!" is still very popular. Our children are a direct reflection of ourselves. It can often be seen that as children grow up, they bring the traits of their parents' behavior into their daily life. Therefore, if you want to see your children happy, become that way yourself. Rejoice in the new day, look for beauty in everything, watch your health and mood, show your child that this life is beautiful in all its manifestations.
Stable emotional state. It is very important not to get frustrated with family members for any reason. As a mother, you must keep the emotional bar for the whole family. Your child takes an example from you, you should never forget about it. Therefore, if you are overtaken by any problems, experiences or bad moods, try not to throw them out on others, but to level negative manifestations.
Child behavior. Always watch for changes in your child's behavior. Children should be like an open book to us. And if the child began to misbehave, then it is not without reason. All processes in life are deterministic. And this means that the child wants to show you something. It is worthwhile to understand in detail the reasons for this behavior before taking action.

Author's opinion: Jean Ledloff

In search of answers, people often turn to books. Many works provide countless parenting tips. However, are they all so valuable and is it worth listening to them? Let's analyze the book by Jean Ledloff "How to Raise a Happy Child".

This book not only teaches parents to raise their children correctly, but also reveals the general reasons for the disadvantage of modern society. The author of the book saw the root of the problems in our world. If you think about it, the reasons for all the troubles and misfortunes that plague a modern person are rooted in a wrong upbringing. We seem to strive to give the child everything he needs, but very often we forget about the most important thing. Do we give the child happiness? Do we know how to cultivate happiness in our children? This is inherent in each of us, you just need to listen - says Jean Ledloff.

How to Raise a Happy Child is a book based on real experience. The author was lucky to meet those people who were able to raise their children happy, and this was the impetus for the birth of this work. The book shows that happiness or unhappiness originates in the same place as a new life - from the birth and upbringing of children. If we treat the upbringing of our children correctly, we will give them not only psychological well-being in the future, but we will also be able to make a great contribution to the development of a world without violence and suffering.

Child - personality

One of the main components of upbringing is the acceptance of the child as a person. That is, it is not just the one whom you gave birth to, but also a person - the same as you.

It is very important that the child feels loved and accepted for who he is. This will give him strength and self-confidence. After all, you are not trying to change it, to make it the way you want it, but you are working on the development of its original qualities.

In this regard, in no case should you hang "labels" on the child. Even for an adult, this is a traumatic situation, and what can we say about the shaky psyche of a child. Constantly telling children that they are dirty, fat, fools, and so on, you program them in advance to match these words. After all, a parent for a child is the first authority, and he subconsciously listens to you.

If you want to bring up happy children in a family, then respect everything they say and do. All their desires and actions must be taken into account. Therefore, it will be correct to listen to the opinion of the child, especially in solving family issues.

This also implies that communication with a child should not be based on the "commander - ward" system. It is important to talk to him calmly and peacefully, without quarrels, shouts and claims. Believe me, this is how children understand better.

Mikhail Labkovsky: secrets of education

Labkovsky talks about how to raise a happy child at his lectures and seminars. This family psychologist reveals the essence of proper parenting.

Everyone knows that all psychological problems of a person are drawn from childhood. Therefore, the psychologist recommends that you accept your upbringing as it is. Your parents raised you the way they could and saw fit at the time. You cannot fix this any more. But it is quite possible not to make the same mistakes in raising your children.

Mikhail Labkovsky also emphasizes the prevalence of concepts such as stability, comfort, and trust. He believes that, first of all, the child in the family should feel it. Make sure your baby is not afraid of you, show him that his problems are important to you, and you will help him solve them.

Another important aspect that the psychologist touches on is the presence of several children in the family. It is strictly forbidden to tell older children that they are already adults. This is seen by children as a message that they are no longer loved. A child always remains a child for his parents, let him feel it.

The deed and the child. It is always necessary to evaluate or criticize a certain act of the child. It is impossible to transfer the assessment of actions to the entire personality of the child. Instead of "You are bad," you should say "You acted badly."
Eye contact. You need to communicate with your child at his level so that he can see your eyes. In no case should you apply "from the height of your growth."
The reaction of the parents. The child is always watching your reaction. Based on this, he builds his behavior. Show your child how to respond correctly to a particular situation, and this will greatly facilitate his life in the future.
Helping children. Always accept the help given by children. In the end, it may not turn out quite the way you wanted, but the child will feel significant in your life.
Self-esteem. To form a correct self-esteem in a child, always show that he will succeed, he will cope with everything. Create situations of success for him to instill confidence in his abilities.
A responsibility. As you grow older, you need to shift the responsibility to the child. For example, if a student does not do their homework, they do not need to be done for him. Make it clear that any action has a result, although not always pleasant.
Behavior model. Be a role model for your child. Show him how to properly build relationships with others. In addition, children very often adopt a family-building and parenting model from their parents.

Wealth, happiness and success

In addition to psychological well-being, many parents want material security for their children. However, the child, in their opinion, should achieve everything himself and not sit on the neck of adults. In part, there is some logic in this. Of course, parents will always help their children, but they themselves must learn to provide for themselves. So how do you raise your child to be rich, happy, and successful?

First, the child needs to be introduced to the financial side of life. Thus, he will understand what money is, how it is earned and how it should be disposed of.

To do this, you need to talk with your child about money, why you need it, where it comes from and how best to spend it. Do not think that your child will only think about material values. Education must be comprehensive.

After getting acquainted with money, it is advisable to play games related to this side of life. For example, to come up with ways of earning money together, while adjusting the child's aspirations. Or, you can play board games related to business.

Don't limit your child's dreams, whatever they may be. Over time, the child himself will set the necessary priorities, but for now the main thing is not to discourage him from achieving his goals.

A specialist's point of view: Ekaterina Buslova

The book is written as if on behalf of a child who addresses his parents. With this technique, the author shows that after reading the book, you will be able to better understand your little one.

All information is presented in the form of tips for parents.

Hint Keys

Ekaterina Buslova gives in her book "How to Raise a Happy Child" 9 tips for parents:

Key 1: "Explain different things to me."
Key 2: "Be able to say" no "to me."
Key 3: "Talk to me."
Key 4: "Let me make mistakes."
Key 5: "Praise me for the good."
Key 6: "Tell me that you love me."
Key 7: "Laugh and have fun with me."
Key 8: "Tell me about different things."
Key 9: "Show me respect."

Should we pamper children?

Many parents believe that in order to raise a happy child, they need to be pampered both financially and emotionally. After all, it is not known how many more trials will be on his life path, and in childhood you can indulge in it. Others, on the contrary, are too strict with their babies, thus preparing them for the harsh reality of life.

But how to raise a happy child? "You cannot pamper" - here each parent puts a comma where he sees fit. However, the golden mean is important in everything. You can't be too strict with your children, but you don't need to spoil either. It will be much more constructive to explain to the child each of his decisions about the next desire of your child.

The method of raising happy children

Psychologists have formulated an approximate methodology of how to raise children happy.

The first thing that parents need to do is pay attention to the development of their children: read books with them, talk, explain, play educational games. Up to 5 years old, children need to develop attention, memory, thinking, perception and speech. Well-developed mental functions will be the key to future success.

Encouraging curiosity is also important. If the child wants to try everything at once, allow him to do it, and then help with the choice of what he still wants to do.

Optimistic child

Optimists are people with a positive attitude towards life, they evaluate everything through the prism of good. Such individuals become successful and happy. But how do you raise your children to be happy optimists?

Make time for simple, friendly, warm communication with your child.
Minimize the amount of instruction and requirement.
Let your child be independent.
Do not say the word "no", it only expresses a negative attitude.
More often than not, look for excuses to praise and be happy for your child.
Don't compare your kids to others.
Let the children make mistakes and help fix them.
Do not deprive your child of his childhood in pursuit of standards.
Collaborate with your child.

Child psychologist consultation

If the parents themselves cannot cope with the upbringing of their children, then it would be advisable to contact a child psychologist. And do not be ashamed of this, this is quite normal! On the contrary, your desire to raise your children correctly is commendable.

At the consultation, a psychologist will help you understand your behavior patterns, possible problems in the system of parent-child relations. Also, a specialist will be able to effectively adjust your methods of raising children.