Wedding traditions and customs. Wedding in India: Traditions. Sprinkling with rice, rose petals, coins, sweets - an old wedding tradition

10.07.2019

The wedding among the Slavic peoples was of particular importance. It was a significant moment in the life of every bride, therefore, marriage has always been associated with many customs, traditions and beliefs. Wedding ceremonies never invented just like that, out of the blue. Each of them had a special meaning and was aimed at achieving happiness and harmony in a young family.

Now, unfortunately, many customs have been lost, and once important sacred actions have acquired a purely entertainment character. And yet, this is a Russian story, even a Slavic one. After all, once the inhabitants of Russia, Ukraine and Belarus were closely interconnected and represented the branches of one people - the Eastern Slavs. Therefore, our rituals are so similar.

The meaning and mystery of marriage in Slavic

The past, from which the present flows, is based on the Slavic worldview. All modern wedding customs have historical roots, are associated with the peculiarities of our ancestors' attitudes towards life and are based on logical and consistent actions. There was nothing superfluous in the Slavic wedding. Therefore, wishing to conduct a wedding, taking into account all the ancient traditions, you must perfectly understand what justification they had for themselves.

Wedding ceremony- a special action aimed at achieving a certain positive result. The purpose of marriage- to create a strong and friendly family in which husband and wife would hold on to each other. It is not for nothing that Russian words for them are spouses, i.e. people who are in the same harness of life and pull all the joys and hardships of life on equal terms.

All folk wedding ceremonies, and and traditions boil down to one thing: it is right to give your daughter in marriage and to deceive the evil spirits so that she does not spoil them. Russian beliefs were very closely associated with the idea of evil spirits that hover around in huge numbers and are trying to ruin a person's life. Moreover, to the person who is on the verge, i.e. passes from one state to another.

This directly concerned the bride. She was at that time considered just such a borderline creature. After all, the girl left her father's house and passed from an innocent girlish state to a woman's, and later had to become a mother. Therefore, the main task was to shelter her from evil spirits, to protect, thereby protecting the future family. Hence comes this word - "bride", unknown, hidden, secret.

Almost all customs were aimed at achieving 3 major results:

Protect the future spouse, prevent evil spirits from breaking through to her, and, consequently, envelop the newly-made family with good. This was considered a very serious task at the time;
Attract as many good spirits as possible so that, on the contrary, they accompany this family and strengthen it;
To achieve fertility and growth of a new family hearth. Simply put, to do everything possible so that the young not only have a large number of children (we all know how huge the Slavic families were), but also the material wealth grew: there was a rich home, a good harvest, strong and fertile livestock. The peoples of Russia and Belarus were mostly farmers, and for them the concept of a family hearth included a prosperous, strong household. Without this, a normal and strong family could not exist, which is reflected in many folk legends, songs and poems of Russia.

Understanding this feature of the Slavic and later Russian worldview, we can see the special meaning that rituals for marriage carry.

The main ceremonies known today

The modern worldview does not allow us to take all traditions as seriously as our ancestors did. We simply do not understand the meaning of many actions, but still we try to comply. Although wedding ceremonies have now become akin to entertainment, they have not died, which emphasizes their great importance for the people. Moreover, somewhere at a deep level, we still believe that observing certain measures, as well as ancient rituals, will help preserve love and happiness in a newly-made family.

Let's talk about them. The following rituals are performed at almost every wedding that wants to observe all ancient traditions:

Blessing the young;
Ransom;
Wedding;
Arrival at the groom's house;
Wedding feast.

These are the main rituals. But they consist of smaller traditional activities, also closely related to the well-being of the new family. In our time, there are still the rite of twinning families, lighting the family hearth, blessing the daughter, meeting the young. And although they are no longer observed in the required sacred order, they still have a meaning.

By the way, many of them can be found in European countries. This proves once again that the traditions of Russia and its western neighbors still had the same foundation and were formed in the same worldview.

Family twinning rite

Passing from the state of a girl to the state of a woman, the newlywed goes under the care of the spirits of the husband's kind. Accordingly, a special bond is established between her parents and her husband's parents, akin to a magical one. Families must necessarily become related, because the children born of this marriage will belong to both of them.

Nowadays, this is more of a fun tradition than a magical act. The ceremony of twinning is now sometimes carried out jokingly, sometimes even a separate mini-script is written for it. Usually a goblet filled with some kind of drink (most often wine) is used. In order for the twinning to take place, both the parents and the newlyweds must drink from this vessel, at least a sip, but each one is obligatory.
As a rule, the witness brings the drink, he also says parting words, and strictly monitors that all participants in the ritual drink the drink.

In ancient times, the twinning ceremony took place somewhat differently. By the way, both the Ukrainian people and the Belarusian people have it. After the wedding, the families were obliged to perform it, otherwise the spirits would not accept the new person. To eliminate this danger, there was a ritual of twinning, which took place with the reading of special conspiracies and also with drinking a drink from a common bowl.

Without twinning, there will be no happy family life, they firmly believed in this. But there was also another custom, without which a happy future family life was also not imagined.

Daughter's blessing

Very close to the rite of twinning. After all, both there, and there, parents play a special role - the older representatives of the two merging genera. It was important to bless the daughter, because she goes to another family. In general, in the Slavic worldview, the wedding was akin to death for the bride: she died like a girl and began to live like a woman and a mother.

Nowadays, this rite is no longer so anxious. But parental blessing is the most important condition for family prosperity. And in European countries it still exists.

So, before the bride goes down the aisle, the father and mother must give their daughter their blessing. Thus, they approve of this union, agree to it. And if we take into account how great the Slavs had respect for their parents, then the meaning of this custom is understandable. The blessing has not been received, which means that the marriage will not be fruitful and happy. This is why unions made in secret from father and mother were not approved or supported at all.

If a father and mother want their daughter to be happy and support her choices, they must give their blessings. The ritual is performed before the wedding. Parents baptize their daughter, say parting words, express approval. In the old days there were also special conspiracies, but now they are already forgotten.

Igniting the hearth of a new family

In addition to the ceremony of twinning and parental blessing, there was another one, now often forgotten. In Russia and other Slavic states, it is called the ritual of lighting the family hearth. In Europe, there is an analogue that also has the same meaning, but a slightly different order of performing actions and their sequence.

The family hearth is what a new family is founded, what should always burn and warm every member of the marriage union. Fire has a symbolic meaning here. The meaning of the ritual is that, once lit up, the flame of the family hearth should never go out. The task of each of the spouses is to maintain the fire of love and take care of the soul mate. Naturally, all these performances resulted in concrete actions.

Every marriage is preceded by an acquaintance. First it happens between a guy and a girl, then between their parents. The flame of love and passion is gradually kindled, which will then become the basis for the family hearth. By the way, the meeting of young people also has great symbolic significance in the Slavic wedding culture. But we'll talk about it below.

After love happened, the flame flared up, and the wedding took place, it is necessary to translate his spontaneous fervor into the moderate radiance of a quiet hearth. In other words, from mutual passion and love, create a strong family. For this, the Slavs developed a whole complex of special ritual actions. They were accompanied by reading certain conspiracies, absorbing a significant part of ancient magic.

Now much has been lost and is not observed, but the custom has retained the former name of the ritual of igniting the family hearth. Currently, it is held after marriage in the registry office, and after the wedding, if there was one. It is preceded by the rituals of intermarriage of families and the blessing of the bride by her parents. If you want to respect all folk traditions, follow the steps correctly.

The ceremony is quite simple. The ritual will require 3 or 2 candles. Its participants are the mothers of the husband and wife and newlyweds. If one of the spouses does not have a mother, then only one takes upon herself the sacred duty of passing the fire on to the newly made family. Every mother should have a candle in her hands. The husband and wife have one common one, which the groom holds with his right hand, and the bride - with his left.

The parent's candle is lit by the father before the ceremony begins. Mothers receive her and, with congratulatory or parting speeches prepared in advance, pass the flame on to their children. Mothers combine the fire of two candles into a single one and they set fire to the newlyweds' candle. After that, the parental flame is extinguished, and the candle of the bride and groom should burn until the young woman takes off her veil.

In our country, the rite of lighting the hearth is still popular. It is not only deeply symbolic, but also incredibly touching.

The ceremony of meeting the newlyweds

A meeting for the Slavs was of great importance. She united 2 loving hearts, kindled new feelings and was the basis for the formation of a new family.

Then there was a meeting between the parents of the bride and groom, and it was called matchmaking. In Russia, this custom, preceding the wedding, has practically not survived, but in European countries it is still observed. In general, the West is more patriarchal in this respect.

After the matchmaking, the bride and groom meet almost as spouses. The future husband first redeems his betrothed, and then gets the opportunity to see her. This is also a significant moment, and in the Slavic traditions it was of great importance. After the ransom, the young should go to church, where the wedding will take place, and according to modern culture - in the registry office, where the marriage registration will take place.

And only then the main meeting takes place. She, too, is surrounded by many beliefs and originates from very ancient ideas. The ritual is called - a meeting of young people, and it takes place on the doorstep of the house of the newly-made spouse.

Many ancient ideas are associated with it, which are now almost forgotten. After the marriage, the husband and wife go to the spouse's new place of residence - to the spouse's house. On the threshold with bread and salt they are greeted by their parents. The choice of paraphernalia is also not accidental. In ancient times, bread was a symbol of fertility and prosperity, and salt, which was extremely difficult to get, was a symbol of wealth.

The meeting of the young people was noisy and joyful. It was accompanied by parting words and congratulations. But the most important thing was to break off a piece from the loaf. The one who did it better was considered to be the main one in the new family. Naturally, everyone expected this from the groom. After all, a man should lead the family.

The meeting of the young is both a wish for goodness and prosperity, and a joyful moment, and an invitation to the table. Then the wedding feast began, in which a huge number of customs also had to be observed. But the most important thing was waiting for the spouses ahead: the wedding night. Now the tradition is no longer relevant, but earlier it was of great importance. The next morning, the husband was obliged to present proof of his wife's innocence: a sheet of blood. And if the wife turned out to be dishonest, this attracted a huge shame on her entire family.

For the Slavs, the meeting had a sacred, very deep and important meaning. Indeed, according to the beliefs of our ancestors, nothing in this world happened just like that. And once the two met, it means that the spirits wanted it that way. And their decision must be honored and respected.

Rituals and signs are of great importance in today's time. All modern life has flowed from what it used to be. That is why all these actions: twinning, giving parental blessings, meeting young people and many others are still so carefully preserved and guarded.

This is a story that is important to cherish and remember. It is extensive, common, which is confirmed by the marriage rites of Europe, which are practically indistinguishable from ours.

Marriage is soon. These words evoke different feelings in the soul. You are overwhelmed with joy that soon you will forever connect your fate with your loved one. But how can you make your marriage truly strong and happy?

About what magic and ancient wedding ceremonies exist and how they go, read and see in our article.

Of course, no wedding is complete without traditional wedding rituals. This is a meeting of young people with a loaf, and throwing the bride's bouquet, and a wedding cake. These rituals are known to everyone, but there are a dozen or two more customs that are often overlooked by young people. But they are the ones who will help you make your wedding emotional and unforgettable.

It is simply impossible to list all of them at once, so we suggest you choose from those that are the most common, significant and beautiful.

According to an old English tradition, the bride must wear something old, new, blue and borrowed to the wedding (“something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue”).

It stands for this: a new thing symbolizes good luck for the bride in her new family life. The old (usually a family jewel) symbolizes the connection with the bride's family, brings her peace of mind. Borrowed guarantees that the bride will always have loyal friends by her side. And something blue will bring love and fidelity to the bride.

Now it has become fashionable when newlyweds hang a castle with their names on bridges. But this old Russian rite was carried out in a slightly different way. Before the young people are going to leave the house, a castle is placed under the threshold of the house. After the young people step over the lock, they close it, and the key is thrown into a deep reservoir. The castle should be kept in the family as a symbol of love.

Launching pigeons has already become a tradition. This custom came from Italy, where the bride would release the dove as a sign that she was leaving her home. Now the newlyweds make a wish when launching the pigeons, and if the pigeons flew nearby, then the wish will certainly come true.

A completely new custom - the bride releases a sky lantern or balloon into the sky with her maiden name written on it as a sign that she says goodbye to her.

When the newlyweds meet after the ceremony with a loaf, they beat glasses, throwing them over their backs. Glasses beat as a sign that the young have left all their evil behind. And on the fragments of broken plates they see how happy the newlyweds will be - the more fragments, the more happiness.

Before the start of the wedding banquet (and sometimes before the young people leave home), a ceremony is held to ignite the family hearth. Mothers of young people with the help of candles transfer the warmth of the parental family hearth to their children. The newlyweds light one large candle with two candles. This large candle will symbolize their family hearth.

The wedding dance, which appeared in Russia in the era of Peter I, has changed a lot in our time. The staged dance is becoming more and more popular, when young people prepare their beautiful wedding dance long before the wedding.

A beautiful custom is the dance of father and daughter. Usually, after a touching dance, the father brings his daughter to her chosen one and hands the daughter over to the reliable hands of the young husband, but there are also very funny incarnations of this action.

The ceremony of farewell to the veil is becoming more and more fashionable. There are several variations of it.

According to one scenario, in the second half of the wedding, the bride changes from a wedding dress to a ball gown, and gives her veil to an unmarried girlfriend who dreams of finding her betrothed.

However, most often the veil is removed by the mother-in-law, immediately covering the bride's head with a scarf or shawl. This symbolizes that the mother-in-law accepts the bride into her home, as a daughter, as a continuer of the clan. The veil itself should be kept at home, it should not be given to strangers. Our grandmothers used to say that a young mother can cover the baby's crib if he sleeps restlessly.

In western Ukraine, the veil is being "danced". The bride dances with unmarried girlfriends and holds the veil over her head. Thus, the bride "dances" to her husband's friend.

At a wedding, the bride can give a box from the wedding rings to the girl she wishes for a quick marriage.

Young people are presented with tied bottles of champagne, one of which they drink for their wedding anniversary, and the second for the birth of their first child.

There are a lot of modern wedding rituals and ceremonies: new ones are constantly appearing, and sometimes well-forgotten old wedding ceremonies just come back. Choose which ones you like, which ones will look beautiful at your wedding, and those that make sense. It is possible that at your wedding there will be ceremonies that your grandmother or someone you know will tell you.

But do not forget that the rituals should be approached carefully so that there are not too many of them, and each rite becomes vivid and will be remembered not only by you, but also by your guests.

This is the connecting link that the wedding lives on. Surely every girl knows a lot accepts, customs and traditions... And if he doesn’t know, then he will definitely find out before the wedding. But there is traditions, which parents carefully keep in their hearts ... and after the head can no longer contain all the information, the question arises

- "Who knows how it is POSITION, HOW TO PLAY THE WEDDING?"

Perhaps someone can suggest various small points, wedding signs and traditions... But all wedding traditions and signs have come down to us from ancient times, partly outdated - partly contradictory, partly impracticable. Below are some of the points that we know and will add!

We suggest using only those wedding traditions and signs that you like yourself. After all, our task is to organize a fun wedding believing only in those signs that will help make her beautiful and kind!

If you have your own local (regional) traditions- use it, if not - come up with it yourself - and perhaps in a couple of generations your grandchildren will say “What are you doing? Without this, a wedding is not a wedding! "

We offer a list of what YOU can use when preparing for WEDDING and accordingly will be a guide to action! Go ahead, newlyweds! Good luck!

WEDDING TRADITIONS:

At the party with the bride they break a loaf to choose the head of the family

At the end of the feast, fortune-telling takes place on a boy-girl - who will be the first among the young, a boy or a girl, collect money in sliders (for trays) and then count. Whoever has the biggest one will be born first.

Lighting up the hearth - parents of young people bring their candles in the unlit candle of young people and share a piece of their warmth and family well-being.

An echo of the old Russian tradition- young people go to the registry office in different cars. Previously, the groom came to the church before the bride and waited for her at the entrance.

The tradition of buzzing with all the wedding procession on the road from the registry office has its deep roots - in Russia it was customary to make noise with all his might to protect the young from evil spirits. Traditional skating also comes from those times.

In some areas, it is considered compulsory after registration of marriage to plant a tree in a special "alley of newlyweds".

When crossing the bridge, the groom must carry his wife in his arms. After half the way, a witness usually helps.

Before leaving for the registry office, the young water all the indoor plants that are in the house and feed the pets

At the end of the day, young people launch a bunch of balls into the sky - they say goodbye to troubles and adversities

While driving in cars, young people burn a list of troubles and scatter to the wind - this wedding tradition known to few

Before entering the hall, the young people feed each other - salted bread, so that this is the last time they spite each other

The young people enter the hall where the festivities take place under bread and salt, which the mothers of the young raise high with an arch. Under these gates, guests make a wish that will surely come true

Newlyweds visit a kindergarten-nursery and leave as many dolls (babies) there as they want to have children

At the entrance, in front of the young, they put 2 plates upside down - whoever crushes the plate faster is the one and the head in the house. (The groom takes the bride in his arms and breaks both plates himself)

All the money donated by the guests is laid out to the groom in all pockets - so that the money is kept, and in the bride's bra - so that there is always a "stash"

Old wedding tradition- BEFORE the end of the party, the mother of the bride takes off the veil from the bride, and the flower from the suit of the son-in-law.

Before leaving, the relatives take off the veil from the bride and put on an apron (they say, the holiday is over - family life has begun)

Before leaving, the bride, according to this wedding tradition takes off his shoes and gives his shoes to a younger sister or other younger relative

Before being seated at the table, the hands of the young are tied with a towel so that they walk through life together - hand in hand.

Young people leave a bottle of champagne in the restaurant where the wedding was held - for the next wedding

The tradition of letting pigeons go into the sky is associated with fortune-telling - one pigeon is tied with a blue ribbon, the second pink - which pigeon rises higher means who is the first to be born a boy or a girl.

2 bottles of champagne are standing on the first table, in front of the young - they are tied with a ribbon - and they drink one on the first wedding anniversary, the second on the birthday of the first child (option - for a golden wedding) (By the way, sometimes these same bottles are passed on the table and onto them all guests sign)

musicians and toastmaster at the end of the wedding are given alcohol as a sign of respect

Wedding rings should not be allowed to be measured by other people - to parting

Massive wedding rings - to wealth and prosperity

The groom should not see the bride's wedding dress before the wedding - to a quarrel

If you tie 2 bottles of champagne at the wedding and do not drink them, the newlyweds will definitely celebrate the wedding anniversary and the birth of their first child.
Marrying parents' wedding rings - repeat their family relationship

To make family life without tears and quarrels, it is better to buy smooth rings

The eldest must be the first of the sisters to marry.

Another one omen for the wedding do not give knives and forks - so that there are no quarrels in a young family

If putting on a ring bride or groom drop it - be treason

For all guests: When you check, look into each other's eyes, otherwise there won't be 10 years of sex :)

When young people sit down at the table, it is advisable to sit on the same bench - then the family will be friendly

When the glasses are beating, they look at how many large fragments have turned out, so many young boys will have.

It is a popular omen that if you cross 7 bridges on your wedding day, your family life will be happy.

When we check, we look into each other's eyes, otherwise there will be no sex for 5 years :)

RECOMMENDED TO READ: Post-wedding glass philosophy, Wedding traditions and rules

Do you want to get married? Swat comes in handy! A little about the matchmaking rite. As it was done before, as it is done now.

Many rites who served our grandfathers and great-grandfathers have already sunk into oblivion

tie. And it's not that they were bad. It's just that sooner or later many ceremonies become outdated, which is why they lose their popularity. Among others, there is the so-called the rite of matchmaking.

Used to be in order to get married, had to be sent to the bride's family matchmakers... Matchmakers were chosen among the relatives of the upcoming groom. If there was no person among them capable of doing such a difficult task, then the matchmaker or matchmaker could be invited or even hired from outside.

The purpose of these people was one - get the approval of relatives, and approve the date of the final response. The final answer was given after a while, even if everyone agreed. for the wedding... This showed that the relatives value the future bride and thoughtlessly would not give her in marriage on the very first day. On the final decision, the matchmakers received a decisive "yes" or "no", while not forgetting about diplomacy. In case of refusal, they tried to explain to the matchmakers the reasonable reasons for the refusal. For example, the reason for the refusal could be the bride's too young age. Angry matchmakers often left the front door behind them with the help of their backs. This meant that they wish the failed bride difficulties in getting married.
But if the answer was still positive, then a follow-up meeting was scheduled. At this meeting, other matchmakers or relatives of the groom in the bride's house discussed all the subtleties of the upcoming weddings... Every little thing - from the dowry to the number of guests and the wedding day - was discussed at this meeting.

It remains to add about some special omens .

On Wednesdays and Fridays, sending in matchmakers and talking about the wedding was considered a bad omen.
On the other hand, the 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th numbers, on the contrary, were considered lucky.
In addition, they left to get married at sunset, apparently saving the case from an evil eye.
Note that these signs can be applied to the superstitious inhabitants of the modern world. After all, the day when a young man decides to propose to his beloved also obeys these numbers.

By the way, speaking of modern times, matchmaking has practically disappeared from our lives.... After all, few people have a special desire to beg for the hand of their beloved woman several times. And many simply do not pay attention to the opinion of relatives. If in the old days the blessing of the groom's father was a necessary element of the wedding, now it is nothing more than advice that can be heeded or not.

Himself matchmaking rite simplified to impossibility. Now, instead of sending matchmakers to the bride's house, the groom simply meets with the bride's parents. At this meeting, parents learn about their daughter's upcoming wedding. I would like to note that before meeting with their parents, young people usually already agree to marry each other. The groom comes to the meeting with gifts for all family members. For his future wife and her mother, he certainly buys two bouquets of flowers. Relations with the mother-in-law need to be established even before marriage.

So, looking into the past, we can say that only the name remained from the matchmaking ceremony. Unless the Old Believer decides to completely follow the ancient rituals, or someone decides on this out of a desire to make their wedding a very special event. After all, to the ancient rite of matchmaking, you can add some modern "flavor". But this is already a separate big topic.

Usually, a wedding celebration, feast, or banquet is the final stage of the ceremony. The wedding is celebrated after the registration of marriage in the registry office and the wedding. In modern Ukrainian tradition, the wedding ceremony should be carried out in the following order:

- wedding

- registration at the registry office (registry office)

- banquet

This arrangement is consistent with both religious traditions and modern customs and rituals. The modern wedding is, in fact, a ceremony involved in almost equal measure in both ancient and modern ceremonies. And to understand all this is sometimes difficult. But any wedding requires adherence to the necessary minimum of traditions - otherwise it will not be a wedding at all! Therefore, the Wedding portal "Bride and Groom" presents to your attention an excerpt of the most common rituals and traditions of modern Ukrainian wedding

Vaults - farewell to bachelor life

The vaults take place before the couple goes down the aisle. The vaults are a symbolic union of the bride and groom. The ceremony is performed to songs, in a hut or in the yard. The young were brought to each other by a friend or matchmaker, their hands were connected and they were tied with a scarf. Then the young people are taken in a circle - three times necessarily. In some customs, the couple "cuts circles" around the table, tubs for dough - in general, utensils that symbolize the hearth.

Wedding ceremonies with bread

Bread ceremonies have an important, almost magical, meaning. The exchange of bread symbolizes the hospitality of the parties, the exchange of wealth, prosperity. Young people are greeted almost everywhere with a loaf, matchmakers exchange bread, guests at a wedding are handed out the edges of a loaf.

There is another beautiful custom, when a friend cuts off the edges from the bride's loaf and the groom's bread brought with him, ties them with a red ribbon and hands them over to the godmother. The godmother takes them to the table, where the connected pieces of bread are supposed to lie side by side until the end of the banquet. Sometimes the bread is broken over the heads of the young, and then the halves are exchanged - part of the groom is given to the bride's parents, and vice versa.

Now these bread ceremonies, which are based on the magic of strengthening the marriage bond and which symbolized the union of the young into one whole, are not as widespread as they used to be. At a modern wedding, you can rather find various variations of these rituals, in which the magic is not so pronounced, but their origin is clearly visible.

So, in Ukraine, the custom of "Breaking a loaf" is widespread. Immediately after the painting, the young are presented with a loaf (or more often just a cone from a loaf), and the bride and groom break bread under the enthusiastic shouts of the guests. Whose part is greater - he will be the head of the family.

Binding the young forever

The custom of tying various objects is very widespread. So, at a wedding banquet, you can often find two bottles of champagne tied with a ribbon. The related items proudly flaunt throughout the banquet on the table next to the young. There are customs where the bride and groom are poured from tied bottles, which after the wedding should be kept in the house of a young family for a whole year. According to other customs, tied bottles are stored for a whole year, after which one of them is opened for the first wedding anniversary, and the second when the family has its first child. Spoons, forks, glasses, etc. are also tied. The author of these lines, for example, still has a couple of spoons related to the wedding. I don’t know what to do with them, but let them lie down - and so, perhaps, they will be there until the wedding of the eldest son!

Sprinkling with grain

Departure from home for both the groom and the bride is accompanied by similar ceremonies. Of which the most common and important is hops and oats. This is done with the wishes "Good luck!", With the wish for happiness and good luck. In general, young people are showered several times during the ceremony, and this is always associated with departure when the couple is going somewhere. In Ukraine, they are showered not only with oats and hops - maybe wheat, and rye - in principle, any grain that symbolizes productivity and prosperity. Often a mixture of grains, candies and coins is used instead of grain.

And when young people leave the registry office after registering a marriage or from church after a wedding, it is customary to shower them with rice. Rice rain marks the birth of obedient, good, healthy children.

In the old days, in some areas of the Russian Empire, there was a custom, according to which, before going to the crown, the bride and groom had to simultaneously stand in a basket of oats.

To the wedding - through the fire

There is a custom to step over fire. In some cases, this happens when leaving the house, in some - when leaving the church or registry office, before entering the banquet hall. Anything can act as coal: a lighted torch, a bundle of straw, or just a lump of paper. Stepping over the fire at a wedding, according to beliefs, protects the young from damage.

To protect against evil spirits in the old days, friends sometimes snapped a whip or fired a gun. This custom has practically not survived to our days.

Wedding loaf

A loaf is a mandatory attribute of a wedding. In ancient Russia, they baked "Grove" - a wedding cake decorated with dough figurines on sticks. The figurines are symbols of the bride and groom, and the sticks are the grove in which all the trees grow together, not one by one. Dough - the basis of loaf and pies, has always been considered a symbol of fertility and prosperity.

Meeting with parents and other rituals

After the registry office or church, parents meet the young at home or at the banquet hall. This is the first official meeting of a young family. They greet the newlyweds with bread and salt, sometimes with music.

The bride should go to the right of the groom, he leads her by the arm. The bread and salt with which the young are greeted are placed on a long towel. The first word when meeting a new family is for mom. The mother-in-law or mother-in-law greets the young, then the fathers speak.
There is a custom when an egg is broken at the exit of the bride and the church - this should contribute to an easy delivery of the expectant mother.

And when the newlyweds for the first time cross the threshold of their home, the husband is obliged to take his wife in his arms in order to protect her from all sorts of misfortunes and troubles, to protect her from the intrigues of evil forces.

Young people should break the first glass of champagne for good luck.

There is also a belief that the bride should not see the groom ahead of time on the wedding day, and the groom should not see the bride's wedding dress before the wedding.

According to a widespread custom, young people should drive up to the registry office or church in the sun - in no case should they move against the sun.

There are many more rituals and customs, many of which are not included in this article, but you will definitely find them on the pages of the wedding portal!

Very little is known about the weddings of pagan Rus. According to the Russian historian N.M. Karamzin, the ancient Slavs usually bought wives for themselves and did not know the wedding ceremony as such. The bride was required only to prove her virgin integrity.

The status of a wife was equated to that of a slave: she was entrusted with all the care of the household and the upbringing of children. At the same time, the woman could neither complain about her husband, nor contradict him, expressing complete submission and obedience. After the death of her husband, a Slav woman usually burned herself at the stake along with his corpse. The living widow dishonored the whole family.

The chronicler Nestor left evidence that the customs and customs of the ancient Slavs differed from tribe to tribe. So, the meadows were distinguished by a meek and quiet disposition, they respected the sacred bonds of marriage, which was considered a sacred duty between spouses. In the families of the glades, peace and chastity prevailed. On the contrary, the Radimichi, Vyatichi, Northerners and especially the Drevlyans had a wild disposition, cruelty and unbridled passions. They did not know of marriages based on the mutual consent of parents and spouses. The Drevlyans simply took away or kidnapped the girls they liked. Among the Radimichi, Vyatichi and northerners, instead of weddings, there were "games between the villages" ("games between the fields"), during which men chose their brides and began to live with them without any rituals. Among other things, polygamy was widespread among the ancient Slavs.
Over time, the ritual life of the pagan Slavs became more complicated, overgrown with numerous beliefs and rituals, around which their everyday life was built.

The pantheon of Slavic gods was constantly expanding, including more and more original and borrowed deities.
The god of fun, love, harmony and all prosperity - Lado (Lada) - enjoyed special respect among young people.

During games and dances near the water dedicated to this deity, abduction of brides was common, which, as a rule, took place by prior agreement. The newlyweds brought sacrificial gifts to the god of love.
In addition to the voluntary abduction of brides, among the Slavs of the period of decomposition of the primitive communal system, such marriage rites as splashing water, driving around an oak tree, buying wives, etc.

Until the very beginning of our century, two sharply differing parts were clearly traced in the Russian wedding rite: the church ceremony of "wedding" and the wedding itself, "fun" - a family rite rooted in the distant past. The hierarchs of the Orthodox Church in their epistles both in the 16th century and in the first half of the 17th century. continued to condemn all elements of the folk wedding rite as "magic", having nothing to do with the Christian religion, but apparently not only did not forbid, but even ordered the priests to take the nearest part in the non-church part of the rite.

The highest church hierarchs themselves occupied important places on the wedding train and at the banquet table. Even in the church, along with the rituals prescribed by the rules of Orthodox worship, actions were performed in the presence of clergymen that were not provided for by these rules. For example, a newlywed drank wine from a glass glass, which he then broke and trampled the fragments.

In the church, after the Orthodox ceremony, when the hands of the newlyweds were already joined over the altar, the bride fell at the groom's feet, touching his head to his shoes, and he covered her with the hollow of the caftan. The bride and groom left the church separately - each to his parents. Here they were showered with wheat, and the celebration seemed to begin anew: the bride feasted with her relatives, and the groom with his.

In the evening, the bride was brought to the house of the groom's father, but even there she did not take off her veils and did not talk with the groom during the entire wedding feast, which lasted three days. Only after three days did the young couple leave for their own home, where they had a common final feast.

In the rites of the Russian wedding, actions associated with pagan beliefs and the Christian religion were intricately intertwined. These include, for example, many actions that protect the wedding participants from hostile forces. These actions should contribute to the well-being of the spouses, childbearing, increasing prosperity in the household, and the offspring of livestock. Wishing to save the bride from the evil eye, they wrapped her in a fishing net, stuck needles without ears into her clothes so that the evil spirits got entangled in the nets and ran into the needles. In order to deceive the dark forces during matchmaking, they changed the path, drove by roundabout roads, replaced the bride, etc. They were protected from corruption and evil spirits by abstaining from uttering words and from eating. There were ceremonies that provided young people with many children and wealth. These included the shedding of young grain or hops, planting on a fur coat weathered upwards with fur. To strengthen the connection of the young people with each other, they mixed wines from the glasses of the young, shared food and drink, stretched threads from the bride's house to the groom's house, tied the hands of the bride and groom with a scarf.

The wedding ceremony took shape as an extensive dramatized action, including songs, crying, sentences and sayings, conspiracies, games and dances. In the form of oaths, the bride said goodbye to her home, her maiden headdress and maiden braid. As in any dramatic work, the wedding ceremony had its own permanent cast of characters - "ranks" who performed roles determined by tradition. The central figures were the bride and groom. The bride had to express her gratitude to her parents for the fact that they "gave her drink and nourished." And from the moment of matchmaking to leaving for church, the bride bitterly mourned her girlish life. The active participants in the wedding were the parents of the bride and groom, close relatives, godparents, as well as matchmakers, tysyatsky, the bride's brother, boyfriend, bridesmaids, etc.

Druzhka (druzhko) - the groom's representative - the main steward at the wedding, made sure that the custom was observed in the way the community understood it. He had to be able to joke and amuse the participants in the wedding. They chose a friend to help their friend, and an older boyar to help the tysyatsky. In the South Russian rite, the loafers were appointed who prepared the ritual loaf. Each character of the wedding was distinguished by his clothing or some additional ritual element of it. Usually these were towels, ribbons, scarves, wreaths.

On the days preceding the wedding and on the days of the wedding itself, the bride changed her clothes and headdress several times, which meant a change in her condition: a conspiracy, i.e. enamored, a young princess - before the crown, a young woman after the wedding and the wedding night. The groom was also called a young prince, and then just young. He did not change his clothes, but he had his own symbols - a flower or a bouquet on his headdress or on his chest, a scarf, a towel on his shoulders. On the wedding day, the bride and groom dressed smartly and, if possible, in everything new.

The theme of marriage was constantly present in the life of the younger generation. For example, the girl's entire premarital life was a preparation for marriage. Therefore, she was accustomed to the cares of the future mother and mistress. Literally from birth, the mother began to prepare her dowry. By the age of 16-17, the girl became a bride. An important point in the premarital rituals were the public "reviews" ("bride shows") of brides. They helped find a suitable bride, find out the economic situation of her family, learn about her behavior and character. Parents tried to find a "match". Bride shows were arranged in spring and summer festivities and on Christmastide, usually timed to coincide with patronal holidays, as well as Epiphany.

Usually, two weeks or a month after the show, the groom's mother, taking her sister or married daughter with her, went to woo the girl whom she chose at the public bride.

An important place in the premarital life of young people was occupied by girlish fortune-telling about marriage, the apogee of which fell on Christmastide. Having conceived to marry their son, the parents began to look for a bride for him, they found out who had a "marriageable girl". The son's desire was taken into account, but it was not always decisive, since the girl had to meet the requirement of her parents. Long-sleeved girls (usually at the age of 23-25) were considered "over-the-top", "old-fashioned" and the suitors avoided them, thinking that they were with a vice. The same mistrust and suspicion was aroused by young people who had sat up in single men (booby, overstuffed).
The first marriages were usually concluded in compliance with all the customs and ceremonies of the wedding ritual. Weddings of widows of men with girls who were not previously married were also celebrated. Marriages of widows and single men with widows were not accompanied by wedding ceremonies.

The time of weddings was determined by the agricultural calendar - usually weddings were played during periods free from agricultural work. The church calendar was of great importance, since in wedding posts "did not play". Most of the marriages took place in the fall, from the Intercession (October 1) to the Filipov Convent (November 14), as well as in the winter from Epiphany to Maslenitsa. In some places, the ancient tradition of playing weddings in the spring, on Krasnaya Gorka, after Easter, was still preserved.
The traditional Russian wedding cycle was, as it were, divided into three main periods: pre-wedding, wedding itself, and post-wedding.
The first period began with an unspoken family council - a "gathering" in the groom's house. It was attended by the parents and relatives of the groom. The groom himself did not take part in the gathering. At the gathering, they discussed the property status of the bride, her behavior and health, pedigree.

The initial period of the wedding consisted of matchmaking, conspiracy, inspection of the groom's household, viewing of the bride, pilgrimage, mating and drinking. There were several methods of matchmaking, for example, the groom's parents went to the bride's house and began negotiations. In other cases, a matchmaker or matchmaker was sent to the bride's house, and they asked permission to come with the groom and his parents. Usually the matchmakers were the groom's spiritual parents - the godfather or mother, or one of the relatives.

Sometimes they resorted to the help of professional matchmakers. Light days were chosen for matchmaking, avoiding fast days: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. In many places, matchmakers took a stick, a poker or a frying pan with them in order to "scoop the girl out". Visiting matchmakers was repeated 2-3 times, or even more. The first visit was seen as "exploration". The bride's parents laid the table: put bread, salt, lit lamps and candles.

After consenting to the marriage of the daughter, the size of the clutch was determined, i.e. the amount of money given by the groom's relatives to buy outfits for the bride and for wedding expenses, as well as the size of the dowry (the bride's personal property consisting of clothes and shoes - it was also called a chest or a ship).

Two or three days later, after the mutual parties agreed to become related, but even before the final decision, the bride's parents and relatives examined the groom's household. The continuation or termination of the "case" depended on how much you liked it. If the inspection of the groom's household ended well, then a few days later the "groom's side" was invited to the bride's bride, where she showed herself in all her dresses and showed all her labor skills - spinning, sewing, etc. The bride at this stage had the right to refuse the groom. Most often, the bridal show ended with a feast. After the feast, the bridesmaids accompanied the groom home. He invited them to his place and generously treated them.
The final stage of the first negotiations was a conspiracy that took place in the bride's house two to three days after the show. The bride after collusion was called "conspiracy."

As a rule, successful negotiations on a conspiracy ended in handshaking. The father of the groom and the father of the bride, as in trade deals, gave each other their hands wrapped in scarves or caftan halves. After the arm-wrestling and feast, which often lasted all night, in the morning the gates were opened so that everyone could come in and look at the bride and groom.
The praying was given special meaning - "Pray to God, it means that the matchmaking is over." After the blessing, the bride and groom kissed three times and exchanged rings - they got engaged. The agreement of the parties reached in collusion usually ended with a joint feast - a binge.

After the conspiracy, the period of preparation for the wedding began. It could last from one to three weeks to a month or more. The conspiracy changed its lifestyle and appearance. She almost never left the house (unlike the groom) and lamented. It was believed that the more the bride cries, the easier it will be for her to live in her husband's family.

The last day before the wedding was called a bachelorette party, where the bride broke with her girlish life, freedom and her family. As a rule, a bachelorette party consisted of a whole complex of ritual actions: making beauty (emphasis on O), unweaving a braid, washing in a bath, saying goodbye to beauty (will) and giving it to her friends, treating the participants in the ceremony to the groom. In some localities, on the last day, a youth was arranged in the groom's house, at which the groom said goodbye to his comrades and to his bachelorhood. On the same evening, the groom's relatives were sent with gifts to the bride's house. If the groom rode himself, his gathering was accompanied by special rituals and instructions. Following the groom, his guests left. The bride was also dressed up, dressed up, the bride washed herself with vodka (wine) and sat down with her friends to wait for the groom. Soon (around 9-10 pm) matchmakers arrived. At the bachelorette party, the groom brought a basket of toiletries, and sometimes a wedding dress, and gave her friends ribbons. At the end of the table, before the groom left, the bride was hidden. The groom was looking for her among his girlfriends, they gave him old women until he gave the ransom to his friends.
For the wedding, a special ceremonial bread was baked - a loaf. In a Russian wedding, bread personified life, prosperity, prosperity and a happy lot. The preparation and distribution of wedding bread was an important part of the wedding ceremony.

The wedding day was the culmination of the whole wedding event. On this day, rituals were performed in the houses of the bride and groom, preparing them for the wedding and expressing the consent and blessing of the family for this marriage. After the wedding, already in the house of the newlyweds, ceremonies were performed, introducing the young to the new household and the position of a married woman.
The morning passed in bustle and preparation for the wedding. The bride was dressed, perhaps more elegantly. When the groom arrived, they demanded a ransom from him, for the right to pass and enter the bride's house. Then the parents blessed their daughter and let her go to church, after which the dowry was usually brought to the groom's house.

There were several options for a trip to the crown. According to one - the bride and groom went to church together, on the other - separately. Having blessed their children, the parents put their friends and matchmakers at their disposal (the parents themselves did not go to church). Druzhko went out into the courtyard with the groom (if the groom was driving from his home) and as a couple (other wedding participants) walked around the courtyard with the icon, and the matchmaker, standing on the cart, scattered the hops. Walking around three times with the icon around, my friend asked everyone present for the groom's blessing for the marriage. After that, they went to church. At parting, they wished: "God forbid to become a crown jewel, to acquire a house, to lead children." The groom rode solemnly, hanging bells to the arch, the groom's horses were covered with white towels. The bride, on the other hand, came to church without much noise, with one povozdnik ("crybaby"). Before the wedding, they converged, in someone's hut, and here the groom took the bride by the hand, circled her three times around him, slightly tugged at the braid, as if showing that the bride was being deprived of her will and had to submit to the will of her husband. Usually the wedding train departed odd, i.e. an odd number of horses.
In the Central Russian provinces, on the contrary, the friends violently dispersed the oncoming ones. Leaving the yard, the residents congratulated each other on the "valiant departure".
The weather on the day of the wedding was of particular importance. It was considered if "snow and rain on a wedding train is rich to live", "rain on young people is happiness", "a whirlwind of dust to meet the train is not good", "a red wedding day is to live red, but poor", "a blizzard on the wedding train - the wealth will be blown out. "

The wedding ceremony consisted of the betrothal and the laying of wedding crowns - the actual wedding performed by the priest. During the betrothal, the priest asked the bride and groom about their mutual and voluntary consent to marry and put on rings.
The church wedding gave legal effect. However, marriage with a wedding, but without a wedding, was not encouraged.

The wedding was accompanied by many magical rites: it was customary for the bride and groom to sweep the road through the church with a broom, spread a scarf or linen under the feet of the spouses and throw money to avoid "bare life". The bride and groom tried to step on each other's feet, and the one who managed to do it first had the upper hand in family life. They strictly watched that no one passed between the bride and groom (so that none of them would violate marital fidelity). Standing in front of the crown, the bride was baptized "covered" ie. not with your bare hand (to live richly). Many beliefs were associated with wedding paraphernalia: a ring, candles, crowns. It was believed that dropping a wedding ring during a wedding was "not a good thing." And the one who held the candle higher under the crown, "for that and more" (headship in the family).

They tried to blow out the wedding candles at once in order to live together and die together. The wedding candle was kept and lit during the first birth.

After the wedding in the church gatehouse or the nearest house, two braids were braided to the bride and laid around her head - "they twirled the young woman around." The matchmakers of the bridegroom, who braided their braids for distillation, - whose matchmaker is the first to braid the braid, this gender will be the firstborn. After that, the young woman put on a female headdress - a warrior. This ceremony was marked by the transition of the bride to a group of married women.
In the house, the young newlyweds were expected. Women - fellow villagers went out to meet the wedding train to the outskirts, seeing it, they began to sing songs. Those who met at the house, relatives and guests fired upward from a gun, sprinkled young people with hops and grain, laid fire at the gate and transferred them through it. Parents blessed the newlyweds - father with an icon, mother with bread and salt. In some localities, bread was broken over the heads of the young, and each and every one of them had to keep it until the end of his life. After the blessing, the young people bowed at their feet, trying to do this at the same time, in order to live in harmony. They were seated at the table, on benches covered with fur coats, saying: "A warm and shaggy fur coat - you live warmly and richly." Usually, the mother-in-law or someone from the groom's relatives, with the help of a grip, a frying pan, opened the young bride, i.e. removed the veil from her (later the veil). Then they greeted her and presented gifts.

The first table was usually called "wedding". The young people, although they sat behind him, did not eat anything. In honor of the young people, congratulations and wishes were pronounced. Soon they were taken to another room and fed with supper. Then the young people returned to the locals again. By this time, the second table, called "mountain", was being laid. The relatives of the newlywed came to this table. They were greeted at the porch, serving each a glass of vodka.
Those who arrived were seated at the table in order of seniority - men on one side, women on the other. At the mountain table, the young woman presented gifts to her husband's relatives, bowed to them, hugged them and kissed them. Then she had to call her father-in-law - father, and mother-in-law - mother. During the feast, the girls sang songs. At the end of the table, the young, coming out, fell at their parents' feet, so that they bless them on the marriage bed.

He was arranged in some kind of non-heated room: in a barn or stable, in a bathhouse, in a separate hut. The wedding bed was made with great care. Sometimes, next to the marriage bed, they put some tools of peasant or craft labor so that the newlyweds had sons and were good workers. The young were usually seen off by their boyfriend and matchmaker. Seeing off was accompanied by music and noise, probably, such a design had the meaning of a talisman. The matchmaker and boyfriend examined the bed and the room so that there were no objects that could "spoil" the young, and, giving the last advice and instructions, wished them happiness and well-being. The young were treated to wine. An hour or two later, and in some places even night, they came to wake and raise the young.

Usually this ceremony was performed by the same people who accompanied them to the wedding bed, and led the newlyweds to the hut, where the feast continued. The young people accepted congratulations. In many localities it was customary to show the bloody shirt to the newlywed. If a young woman turned out to be blameless, she and her relatives were given great honors, but if not, then they were subjected to all kinds of desecration.

In many localities, the rituals associated with "waking up" were accompanied by a bath. She was drowned by her friends, matchmakers, boyfriends, godfathers. Seeing off to the bathhouse took place with noise, songs and music. In front of the young people they swept the road with brooms. A friend walked in front of the procession carrying a decorated broom covered with a scarf. Over time, the ritual of the second day gradually began to be replaced by pouring water over, rolling the young in the snow, even just visiting an unheated bath. After the bath, the young rode around the village, stopping by their relatives and inviting them to the next feast.
The feast of the second day was called "cheese table". During the cheese table, cheeses were cut. Druzhko, by seniority, called first the relatives of the young, then the young and asked them to accept a treat from the young - vodka and a snack, and put something "on the cheeses."
The most common rite of the second and third days was the first visit of the newlywed to a spring or well, during which the young woman usually threw money, a ring, a piece of bread cut off from a wedding loaf or a belt into the water.
Another, no less common rite, was the belts are bright. The relatives of the young woman came to her husband's house and reported the missing girl. The search began. The newlywed was taken out to them. They recognized her as theirs, but after examination they found many changes and waived their rights.

They tried to diversify the ongoing wedding festivities with all kinds of games and amusements. Dressing up was a widespread custom on the second day. The mummers dressed in skins that were turned inside out. They dressed up in different animals, gypsies, soldiers. Sometimes men dressed in women's clothing and women in men's.
The third day was usually the final. Often on this day, trials were organized for the young. They forced her to light the stove, cook, sweep the floor, but at the same time they interfered in every possible way - they poured water, overturned the dough, testing her patience. Only her husband could save the young woman from all trials, having treated everyone with vodka.

One of the responsible and fairly widespread rituals was a visit by a son-in-law to a mother-in-law ("bread"). The young mother-in-law treated him to pancakes and scrambled eggs. Often on this visit, the son-in-law demonstrated his attitude towards her, depending on whether she was able to raise her daughter and keep her chastity or not. After the meal, the son-in-law would break the dishes on the floor. In many villages, a visit to the mother-in-law ended with the serving of an accelerating cake, which meant the horses of the wedding festivities.

Usually wedding celebrations lasted three days, for the rich they lasted longer. Special rituals these days were not performed, as a rule, various entertainments were repeated, feasts with refreshments were held, now in the house of the young, then in the house of the husband.
The peasant wedding ceremony served as the basis for the city one.

In the conditions of the city, it has changed significantly, both in general and in details. By the middle of the XIX century. In the rituals of the townspeople, general and specific features were observed that distinguish them from the peasant tradition: the weakening of the magic of the elements, the strengthening of the role of professional matchmakers, the greater spread of marriage contracts, changes in ritual food and the order of feasts, the replacement of dances with dances, and the folklore repertoire with urban songs. This allows us to talk about the already established urban forms of wedding rituals.
Since about the 80s of the XIX century. under the influence of the growing democratization of social and cultural life in Russia, changes occurred in the social and everyday relations of the townspeople, which also affected the wedding ceremony.

The October 1917 coup and the subsequent declaration of war on religion attacked, ridiculed and prohibited the traditional wedding ceremony. Throughout the Soviet period, there were, as it were, two main forms of the wedding ceremony: official (state) and traditional.