Possibility of private communication with girls. Long distance relationships. Concentrate on your condition

It's no surprise that the prospect of talking to an attractive stranger scares shy guys so much. They know that in order to please a girl, they have to show their best side. Scrolling through the situation in their heads, young people can get so excited that they will start to spoil everything, as soon as they approach the poor girl. Fortunately, this stage is temporary, and the following guidelines will help you to skip it as soon as possible.

1. Make eye contact

The most important rule is to look the girl in the eyes. The fact that you shouldn't stare at your chest is perhaps obvious, but a lengthy glance past your interlocutor or a delay in looking at clothes can also spoil the impression.

An incredibly powerful tool for creating rapport between people. More than 20 years ago, psychologist Arthur Aron experimentally proved that people are able to fall in love in a few minutes, just by looking into each other's eyes.

By avoiding eye contact, you betray self-doubt.

If you don't believe in yourself, then why on earth should a stranger believe in you? It is even worse if the distracted gaze is interpreted as a sign of disinterest and boredom.

Eye-to-eye gaze seems to say to the girl: "I give you all my attention." This is really important. Charismatic men use eye contact as a way to make a girl feel like the most interesting person in the world.

The way you look at the girl when you talk is equally important. Squint your eyes when talking about something serious, and raise your eyebrows when talking about something surprising or scary.

2. Don't try to impress. Just chat

Some believe that women love men exclusively with high status and income. This statement is partially justified, but it does not mean that during the first interview you need to talk about your professional and financial success.

Many guys are sure that the more attractive a girl is, the higher her request bar for the opposite sex. As a result of this mistaken opinion, light flirting turns into reading a resume.

The more people talk about their accomplishments, the more they show their need for approval. A penchant for conceit betrays a poor fellow in a person who is desperately trying to fill the void in his life.

It's important to understand that being impressed is not the same as being carried away.

Even a girl's sincere approval of your accomplishments does not mean that she enjoys spending time with you. A prestigious foreign car and a substantial amount in the bank is, of course, good, but such material things have nothing to do with and will not cause romantic feelings in a girl.

Can you give the girl the impression that you have known each other for a long time? Can you make her laugh? This is what will set you apart from the rest and help to please.

3. Don't get hung up on yourself

Unlucky ladies' men often talk too much about themselves. The problem is, it’s not the best way to connect with other people. This attitude can turn a conversation into a competition. Who will say first? How can you translate the topic to yourself? This is all like intellectual masturbation. It is unlikely that after such a contact people will have a pleasant impression of communicating with each other.

We rarely meet people who are interested in our opinion. Even less often, such individuals are found among attractive young ladies. Focusing on the girl will make her feel special.

Use every opportunity to get to know the girl better. The more aware you are of her interests and emotions, the more she likes you.

Do not focus on general questions like “what do you do” and “where are you from”. It's boring. Try to get to know something more personal, try to translate the topic of conversation into a discussion about a movie you recently watched or a book you love. You can afford to argue with the girl a little, but don't overdo it. A fascinating and natural conversation will win over a girl who seemed out of reach a couple of hours ago.

Examples of good questions

• What places and countries would you like to visit?
• What are you most proud of in your life?
• Do you want to be famous? What exactly would you like to be famous for?
• What would you do if you had absolute freedom and a potion of luck?
• Which one would you like to purchase?
• What do you like best about your job? What is less?

Just remember that the conversation should not be like filling out a questionnaire. Don't ask questions in a row, but weave them organically into the conversation. Imagine the conversation is a ball game. The girl serves, you accept and pass back to her through a new question that fits the context.

4. Look for common interests

The way to a pleasant and easy conversation is through research and discussion of common interests. Remember all the tortured conversations that began to take shape only after one of the interlocutors mentioned a movie, book or TV series. A couple of things that you both love very much are enough and you are on your way to becoming best friends.

We instinctively sympathize with those who are like us. The presence of one interest makes us think that we can converge on other things. The more you have in common with the person, the more comfortable they are with you. The level of sympathy grows with the level of comfort.

Finding out that you love the same cocktail or went to the same high school will give you much more than knowing that you both just love to eat.

When talking with a girl, don't miss the opportunity to emphasize that your interests are similar. If specific coincidences do not come up in the conversation, then try to work with what is. Is she interested in caving? Say that you are also a fan of history, are passionate about exploring new things and confess your love for "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer". Try to organically weave a quote from a popular movie into your conversation. Grasp the topic, develop it by asking additional questions and accompanying the girl's answers with your own comments.

5. In order not to get nervous, do not get hung up on the end of the conversation.

Stress in the first minutes of a conversation with a girl is difficult to completely eliminate or hide. There is nothing terrible in this, because there is a certain charm in light excitement. An easy way to keep emotional stress to a minimum is to not focus on the outcome of the conversation.

It is the expectation of the result and the fear that it will not come true that is the main cause of stress when talking with a girl. We focus on our goal in such a way that we cannot think of anything else. This thought comes from us like a bad smell that leaves an imprint on everything we do and say. We do not participate in the conversation, but only analyze every word or gesture.

Giving up any expectation frees you from anxiety. Yes, it would be great to get the girl's number, but what if she says no? Nothing wrong with that. The very fact that you have taken the first step is already progress. Now you can study, try and not be afraid of attractive girls. Experience is a result in itself. And that result could be the start of something really interesting.

As noted by psychologists around the world, despite the fact that men at any age are perceived by women as potential hunters, the opposite sex often does not think so. This is expressed not only in the fact that sometimes it is quite difficult for them to meet a girl they like, but even in the fact that they simply do not know how to communicate with her.

The point is not at all whether she is beautiful. And not even whether it is interesting to communicate with her. She just has IT.
For some women, it is enough to walk down the street once to remain in the memory of a man forever.
Joseph Rudyard Kipling

How to communicate and what to talk about with a girl?

First of all, the last point is associated with natural human feelings that are absolutely not alien to the representatives of the strong half of humanity. Namely:

1. The feeling of fear of being either not understood at all, or understood, but not true.
2. The natural reflex is to beware of little-known people, on a subconscious level, perceiving them as a potential threat.
3. Not knowing what topics you can talk to a lady about. Since there is an opinion that the interests of men and women rarely coincide.

The presence of a certain experience also plays an important role in this process. After all, if a young man most of his life, among whom there were few girls, and all his experience was reduced to conversations with classmates at school. Then the thought that he is doing something wrong will certainly visit him.

How to find a way out of this situation

Before you start communicating with a girl who liked you, you need to determine her psychotype, of course, within the framework of your knowledge, there is no point in going into the deep layers of psychology. In practice, this is expressed in simply determining whether she is a sociable person or not. The first option is much easier for a man, since it is easier to choose a topic for a fascinating conversation, because even if she does not know much about it, due to her natural talkativeness, she will support the conversation as much as she can. And it's not so difficult to translate the conversation into one channel or another afterwards.

If a girl is withdrawn, shy and has a hard time communicating, then the answer to the question of how to start simple communication begins with collecting information about her. For example, if she is still in school and there is an opportunity to chat with those who at least somehow communicate with her. Then you need to find out what she is most interested in and, according to her interests, choose a topic for the first conversation. For example, if a girl likes to read, then books are quite a universal topic of conversation.

How to chat with a girl in virtual life

It will not be a secret for anyone that modern youth and not only have long transferred most of their lives to the virtual space. And just in order to start communicating with the fair sex, this is an undoubted and very big plus. The main place in addition to a variety of chats and forums, as well as specialized resources (sites intended exclusively for dating people by interests or sympathies) are numerous social networks. Today, one of the most popular is in contact.
This is due to the fact that VK has no age restrictions, is very versatile and it is allowed not only, for example, to find information of interest, but also to make new friends, distant relatives, business partners, and much more.

Speaking about communication in this format, it should be noted that it is slightly different than a simple friendly conversation in a circle of acquaintances. First of all, it should be noted that, as practice shows and psychologists confirm in the virtual world, it is much easier for a person to open up, because he is not restrained by practically any framework. Moreover, there is a category of people who cannot always express their opinions and thoughts out loud.

But they are very good at writing about this, and if, for example, a representative of the fair sex just falls into the category of such people, then a social network is the ideal option at the first stages for communication. Moreover, if, due to any circumstances, the situation has developed in such a way that she considers you an unsuitable option for herself. It is through indirect communication that you can radically change her opinion.

A girl who likes it in real life probably has her account on at least one resource, and if you are not an adherent of virtual communication, then for a start it is enough to visit her page. This will help you get additional information about her, find the right topics for conversation, which will help to win her over, find out about her preferences, circle of friends. And in general, you can briefly deviate from your principles and communicate there, become her good friend, with whom she can share a lot, and then move on to communication in terms of sympathy.

However, do not forget about the small nuances of communication, in this particular format:

1. Her thoughts must be expressed as clearly and accessible as possible, so that she could understand them the first time and at the same time correctly.
2. The same applies to emotions, because if there is a correspondence, there is no visual contact, and certain manifestations of feelings may be incorrectly interpreted, which will lead to not the best result of communication.
3. Don't be intrusive. Those. not write to her every five minutes, requiring constant and uninterrupted communication. Since she may be in class, at lectures, at work, or generally busy with her household chores.

Examples of correct behavior at the time of communication in real life

Although everything described above for social networks has a certain degree of relevance and allows you to simplify the process of initial communication, no one canceled real meetings. And this sometimes causes certain difficulties. Especially if the fair sex is strongly liked and evokes such emotions that can knock you off the right mindset and generally just throw you off balance.

The following can be considered the golden rules of good communication in real life:

• First, you need to make sure that the girl is in a comfortable physiological position for her. Those. if you decide to start a romantic topic of conversation and at the same time chose an original place (for example, a date on the rooftop or in a cafe located on a high floor with an open terrace). After all, if she is afraid of heights and, for some reason, cannot speak about it directly, most likely even the most interesting conversation in the proposed circumstances will not give her any pleasure, because of the high level of discomfort.
• Secondly, you do not need to worry too much, for example, you can drink a sedative before the meeting. Excessive emotions can lead to rash actions, words, confusion in speech. And this, in turn, can create a tense situation. Or to the fact that the girl will not correctly interpret your intentions and then no communication will save the situation, even if it is properly built.
• Thirdly, you can never ask directly questions like whether she likes to communicate with me or not. If she is properly brought up and has an idea of ​​the banal rules of decency, then it is almost impossible to get a reliable answer. It is necessary to draw the correct conclusions yourself, watching how she behaves, whether she is interested in the chosen topic of conversation, or whether she sits and frankly waits for this meeting to end.

Outcome

Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that today there are many ways to choose the right topic for a conversation with a woman you like. But as in other times, it is always necessary to listen to your own intuition, and then success is guaranteed.

Mistake 1: Too “nice guy”.

Have you ever noticed that really attractive women are not attracted to “nice” guys? Of course, I noticed. I'm sure you have adorable girlfriends who date "thugs" ... but, for some unknown reason, these girls were never interested in YOU. Why is this happening? In fact, everything is simple ...

When choosing a partner, girls are not guided by how “cute” a man is. Attraction to courageous guys arises on an instinctive level. Even if you are a hundred times nicer than your rival, the woman simply WILL NOT FEEL ATTRACTION to you and, accordingly, will not choose you. I admit, it may sound pointless, but you just have to believe and accept my words ... Unless you are ready to forever give up on success with the girls you want.

Mistake 2: Don't try to make her sympathize with you.

What do guys usually do when they meet the girl of their dreams ... and she doesn't even look at them? Right! They try to "convince" the girl to feel differently. Try to remember ... YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE A GIRL'S FEELINGS IF IT IS ABOUT SYMPATHY! Understand, NEVER. It’s impossible to make a girl feel - neither with logic nor rational reasoning. Think about it.

If she just doesn't feel anything for you, how are you going to convince her to think logically? However, everyone tries to do it. We beg, we persecute, we try to influence the minds of the girls ... It will never work.

Mistake 3. Don't expect a girl's approval every time.

In their desire to please the girl (thinking that this is how she will like us), men very often make such a mistake. Women don't like guys who are constantly sucking up! However, don't get me wrong. You can't treat girls BADLY. It should only be understood that the constant expectation of permission to act does not contribute to the good mood of the fair sex. On the contrary, women are often irritated by this behavior. Do you doubt it? So ask any attractive girl about it.

Mistake 4: You shouldn't try to “buy” its location.

Remember how many times you were turned down despite a candlelit dinner, expensive gifts and flowers? I dare to suggest that more than once. You know, it's quite NATURAL. That's right, you heard right. You seem to let the girl understand: “I don’t think you like me the way I am, so I’ll try to buy your attention and sympathy.” Even your good intentions can turn against you - the woman will think that you are trying to MANIPULATE her.

Mistake 5: Don't share your feelings with her ahead of time.

Unfortunately, b O most of the stronger sex. Remember, really attractive women are rare. And each of them gets a HUGE amount of male attention. Often guys do not understand this, but they try to get acquainted with such girls all the time - several times a day they flow into dozens a week and (oh, horror) into HUNDREDS a month.

Do you know what? The girls go on dates with many who are in need. They already have EXPERIENCE. They know exactly what to expect. And some things make these poor crumbs run away from the guy in fear - for example, the phrase “You see, I really, really like you!”. She understands one thing - that you are one of many, just like the rest. Do not repeat other people's mistakes. Be relaxed and dignified.

Mistake 6: Not understanding what attracts women.

In a way, women are very different from us men. You should just accept this fact.

What happens when a guy sees a young, beautiful, sexy girl? That's right, she attracts him. Is this condition fair for the fair sex? Does the appearance of a man have the same power over female consciousness? Or is there another factor?

Having devoted almost five years to the study of this topic, I can confidently say that usually a woman responds to criteria that are not related to appearance. I am convinced that you paid attention to outwardly unremarkable, even unattractive men with charming companions. Think about it.

Women are attracted to certain qualities in a partner ... it is important for them that they FEEL being around this person. With masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel the same sexual desire as seeing a hot young beauty. But it is impossible to master this art spontaneously. It takes a long time to LEARN. And ANY guy can learn ...

Mistake 7: It's not just about money and looks.

One of the most common mistakes ... Guys believe that women are only interested in the size of the wallet and stunning looks ... maybe even a certain age or height. I am absolutely sure that there are girls in the world with such criteria. However, the reasonable majority is concerned, first of all, not with the wallet and appearance, but with the personality of the partner. This is what attracts them like a magnet.

Learn to identify personality traits that are valuable for a particular girl, and it is YOU who will become their ideal. DON'T GIVE UP if you are not an oligarch or are short. Let me repeat an earlier thought: With masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel the same sexual desire as you do when you see a hot young beauty.

Mistake 8. Do not place all power in the hands of a woman.

Earlier, I mentioned that you should not wait for permission from the girl for this or that action. In the same way, you cannot indulge them in all their desires. The guy constantly does what the girl wants - it's a mistake. She will step over you and go to meet new adventures. Remember, girls don't like weaklings.

Mistake 9: Not knowing the options for your behavior when dealing with a girl.

Do you want to surprise you? A woman ALWAYS knows what you are thinking. The fair sex has about TEN TIMES better understanding of body language. I know it's hard to believe this.

Well, for example, if on a date you want to kiss a girl, she already knows about it. And if you have no idea HOW EXACTLY to do this, you sit next to her and get nervous, she won't help you!

This idea holds true for all aspects of relationships with women. Getting to know her, getting a phone number, asking for a date, physical contact ... That's it!

Everything will be ruined, everything will be LOST, if in each specific situation, you do not have a clear plan of action. And you KNOW this yourself. It is vital to be aware of every step in the establishment and development of relationships - from acquaintance to the bedroom.

Mistake 10: Don't be afraid to ask for help.

The biggest mistake, perhaps. She often prevents guys from being successful with the girls they want. I know, I know, we don't like looking weak and helpless. We hate asking anyone for help.

I want to tell you a little about myself and how I became successful with women ... About five years ago I was already fed up with the fact that I could not get to know girls normally, let alone invite them out on a date. I can honestly say it depressed me terribly.

One evening my friend and I got to the club, and there I saw HER ... But I was so nervous that I simply could not come. I still remember that evening ... It was then that I made the decision that I would use ALL my abilities, I would try everything, but I would achieve a result.

After a huge amount of effort and painstaking work, I finally did it. Now I do not experience any problems - for example, I receive the phone almost immediately after the approach. I had dates with models, and with actresses, and with simple cute girls.

Never again have I experienced that feeling of insecurity, insecurity. At any given time, I can meet a great girl.

Meeting or talking to a girl for shy guys is a serious challenge. In their case, we are talking not about the usual slight jitters, but about a real tsunami out of fear and excitement. Sean Cooper, a man who has freed himself from shyness on his own, is sure that all these troubles are surmountable. Below are some of his suggestions to help you combat embarrassment and make your conversation more relaxed.

3 reasons to fear girls

1. Feelings of inadequacy

Just looking attractive makes you nervous, and the thought of approaching her is terrifying. Why? Because you consider yourself unworthy of this beauty. Think of women whose appearance is far from your ideal. Surely their company causes less discomfort.

The point is that men make too far-reaching conclusions based only on the external data of a woman. But imagine: what if she is stupid? Or does she have no sense of humor at all? Or do you just have nothing in common? You do not yet know this person, but you are already sure of her magnificence (and your inadequacy to him).

As a result, the feeling of your own inferiority robs you of confidence and prevents you from expressing your individuality.

Advice: remember that appearance speaks more of genes than personality. So do not rush to deify a stranger and send yourself to the list of unworthy. Better find out in practice what kind of person she is.

2. Obsession and unrealistic fantasies

Shy guys tend to choose one girl as the object of their dreams. Only a couple of short conversations or smiles can connect with a beautiful person: this is enough for a shy person to imagine a joint future in all details. What happens in the end? The guy winds himself up so much that when it comes to decisive action, he gets lost under the weight of inflated expectations.

You have thought about her for so long and turned her into such a perfect being that you are paralyzed by fear.

Sean Cooper

Another scenario for the development of the scenario: you finally dare to ask her out, but after three minutes of conversation you realize that she is not that beautiful lady out of your head at all. And on the basis of three-minute communication, you decide to retreat without really recognizing the girl.

Advice: say stop to empty fantasies and channel your energy into communication. Well, remember that there are many cute and interesting girls in the world. Obviously, you shouldn't dwell on one with which you are hardly familiar.

3. Procrastination

Guys who suffer from shyness or have little experience in relationships can wait a long time for a conversation, a touch, a first kiss. But the longer they wait and the more they think about it, the stronger the fear becomes.

Advice: act impulsively. All thoughts that appear after the first impulse are aimed at dissuading you from an act. In the end, it is better to do and regret than not to do and regret.

How to talk to a girl

1. Build the right conversation

Cooper mentions the chain message method. You've probably already used this technique, but it may not be entirely correct.

Its essence is as follows ... Any, even the most insignificant information becomes a starting point. Then a clarifying question is asked. Based on the answer to this question, the next replica is built. And further along the knurled one.

An example of a failed conversation:

A: Hey! Where are you from?

V: From Chelyabinsk.

A: Oh, and what are you doing there?

V: Working.

A: Where, if not a secret?

V: At the factory.

A: And by whom?

V: Milling machine, * &% + #!

Error A is that he approached the conversation too formally. As a result, it boiled down to a banal listing of facts, from which the milling cutter V.

Tip: Rely on emotion, not boring data.

Exercise "Conversation Map"

Take a blank sheet of paper. In the middle, write a word that might serve as a conversation starter or that you often hear from girls. Now draw the rays that go away from it. They are the directions of the conversation. Form these as statements or as questions. The main thing is that they touch on emotions and values. The more directions you come up with, the better.

Example:

• Initial word: psychologist.
• Branch-emotion: how do you feel when you enter into such a close connection with different people?
• Branch-value: you are probably a very caring person if you chose this profession.

Sudden pauses in conversation, Cooper says, are normal. It is not normal for you to feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable with them. It is with these sensations that you need to fight.

The first thing to do is to realize that you are not a toastmaster, but an accomplice in the conversation. Don't blame yourself for not being able to react instantly and figure out how to continue the conversation. This will only increase the stupor.

The second rule is to stay relaxed. If you are nervous about silence, it automatically becomes awkward.

The third rule (and hint) is the natural continuation of the conversation. Situational comments can help here. The essence of the method is to pay attention to what is happening in the outside world, and not to frantically try to find a topic in your head (which becomes completely empty due to stress).

When you are relaxed and not fixated on inner search, the dialogue ceases to be tortured.

3. Learn to talk about nothing

Another problem for many shy people is that they believe that every conversation should be meaningful. At the same time, conversations are constantly taking place around, the content of which many instantly forget.

These are annoying or confusing, and their participants may seem downright dimwitted. However, these people have no difficulty in initiating contact and receive their dose of social interaction. And this is worth learning from them.

Where to begin? Stop thinking and allow yourself to be spontaneous. Stay in the present moment without caring about what you said 10 seconds ago or what you need to say 10 seconds later.

Trust your brain, and do not try to squeeze all the juices out of it. In fact, it is a powerful device with a decent amount of information. You just need to let him do his job.

4. But just in case, have a list of topics

The prepared themes are like a cheat sheet: you don't have to use it, but you feel more confident with it. The circle of topics that you can talk to a girl about does not need to be kept in mind all the time. It is enough to outline it and leave it on the periphery of consciousness: if something goes wrong, you can always use it.

Sean Cooper offers nine areas from which to draw ideas for conversation:

1. Hobby.
2. Work, study.
3. Trips.
4. Entertainment.
5. Food, cooking.
6. Past experience.
7. Observation of the present (situational comments).
8. Plans for the future.
9. Human relationships.

As a training, you can come up with five example topics for each of these areas.

Another option is to talk about what you really know a lot about, and try to interest the interlocutor in this. In your field, you will feel more confident and able to open up.

Another alternative is to let the girl talk about what she understands, but at the same time remain genuinely passionate about the topic. A genuine interest is always felt. And it attracts.

Of course, you should not follow all the advice at once. Try one technique, then another, practice in which situations they work best, or choose whichever is more to your liking.

The ability to communicate with girls plays an important role in building relationships with them. The extent to which a guy knows how to make contacts with the opposite sex and how interesting it is for him, affects his future relationship. Here, character traits, behavior patterns, and topics that the guy touches on become important ..

What is chatting with girls?

Chatting with girls is not easy for a guy. Modern young ladies are quite tough in their refusals and the criteria for choosing interlocutors. Sometimes they don't even look at the guys who are talking to them, which already reduces the possibility in some way. Each girl has her own reasons why she refuses to communicate, and the criteria for selecting a possible interlocutor.

Every guy who is faced with a refusal to communicate should know that the refusal arose not because he was bad, but for other reasons that may not even concern the guy. If you are refused, this should not confuse you. The girl has her own problems and concerns, which are now more important for her than communication with you. Find that young lady who wants and wants to communicate with you.

Here you need to be assertive, confident and sociable. Sociability is one of the essential qualities of a modern person. To survive and achieve success at the present time, a person has to communicate with other people on any issue. Even a simple trip to the store requires communication skills if you want to get a quality product and at a lower price than it is offered to you. Sociability is the right quality. If a person, for some reason, does not have developed sociability, then his whole life is full of difficulties and unresolved issues that required only one thing - to agree on something with other people.

There can be many reasons for lack of communication. The main one is the inept upbringing of a person when he was still small. Maybe, as a child, someone scared a person, or his parents scolded him for some words, or no one listened to what he was saying, because of which he formed an appropriate complex, which makes him close from communicating with other people ...

The surest way to become sociable is to understand the reasons for being closed and correct your own flaws. Often such work requires the presence of a psychologist, who will determine and help in the development of sociability.

However, if there is no opportunity and desire to work with a psychologist, then you can accustom yourself to a different solution to the problem: shift the focus of your attention from yourself to the interlocutor.

Usually uncommunicative people often think of themselves in terms of other people:

1. "What will they think of me if I say this?"
2. "How do I look at this?"
3. "Wouldn't others consider it foolish?"

Uncommunicative people are focused on their complexes. They play their own fears in their heads, which can come true if they start to say something. However, if you shift the focus of your attention from yourself to the interlocutor, then various complexes and fears will recede by themselves. Stop thinking about what other people will think of you and how they will look at you, better ask yourself the question: "What is interesting about the person with whom I am currently communicating?"

Take an interest in your interlocutor, set a goal to find interesting character traits in him, topics for conversation. You communicate, and are not next to each other, so as not to show your own flaws. Do your part - communicate, get interested, share information. This is the essence of communication!

How to start chatting with girls?

If you are shy or unsure of yourself, then start chatting with a girl on an abstract topic. You don’t need to say “Do you want to meet?”, It is better to start with a discussion of some topic. For example:

1. What kind of music do you like?
2. Are you also interested in sports? Who are you rooting for?
3. What do you like to read?
4. Do you like pets? What breeds of dogs (cats) do you prefer?
5. How do you like to relax?

Better not to focus on the fact that you offer communication with you. The girl will tense, because she will not know what it is obliging her to do. Therefore, start communicating with casual topics when the girl will understand that now you are communicating, and the next time you may never see each other again.

Communicate in a fun and interesting way. Start by telling something about yourself. Do not force the girl to reveal all information about herself, first tell about yourself so that she relaxes a little and tries to support the topic.

Further communication also needs to be built in an interesting and relaxed way. Try to feel the girl when she is interested in communicating, and what topics she is not interested in. Be you the most beautiful and well-groomed, but if you cannot interest the girl in communicating with you, then you will not be able to keep her near you for a long time.

Have you ever heard in your address: "I'm not interested in communicating with you"? Or did you yourself say such words to another person? Sometimes there are people who really have nothing to talk about with each other. If a situation arises when both interlocutors sit and are silent, because they do not want to say anything, then these people cannot find a common language. They, most likely, do not see in each other those companions with whom it would be interesting to communicate.

But quite often one interlocutor is interested in communicating with someone who is not interested in communicating with him. What happens then?

Most likely, the one who does not want to communicate with another person, for some reason, does not want to do this. This does not mean that he is not interested. He just does not want to talk about some things to his interlocutor. Perhaps he could talk to his partner on other topics, but not on those that he is hiding from him.

A person does not communicate, not because he has nothing to talk about, but because he does not feel interest and desire to communicate. Topics do not appear, not because they do not exist, but because people are not interested in talking about these topics with each other. In other words, you are not uninterested in communicating with someone, and you yourself are not interested in communicating with a specific person. You yourself do not reach out to him to communicate, you yourself do not want to find common topics that would interest both of you. You can talk to absolutely anyone. But you are not drawn to every person, so you get the result of someone complaining about your unfriendliness.

Interest does not play a role in whether you communicate with a person or not, but your desire to communicate with him. If you do not want to talk to someone about something, then automatically you lose interest and topics for conversation. But if you want to communicate with another person, then you will immediately have interesting and exciting topics for conversation.

Psychology of communication with girls

You need to be able to communicate with a girl. And psychology offers the following rules that come in handy:

• If the girl is tired, then there is no need to be offended or angry with her. Always stay positive. You can cheer the girl so that she can escape from her sad thoughts.
• Do not run after the woman, otherwise you will lose her interest in yourself.
• Always remain a man. Solve your problems yourself, be responsible, do not complain about other people.
• Try to surprise the girl more often with various gifts, phrases, etc.
• Chat with several girls at the same time to enrich your experience.
• Take an active part in communication. The girl should see that you are interested in communicating not only on your own, but also on her topics.
• Hear and hear. The girl wants her to be heard. You can find out a lot of interesting things about your interlocutor.
• Compliment the girl to make her feel special.
• Be interesting, in what reading books, diversification will help.
• Have a communication goal. Why are you communicating with a girl? You should always understand what you are bringing the girl to.

What goal do you want to achieve in a conversation with this or that person? You can be yelled at, criticized, forced to argue or flatter. But you shouldn't be interested in that! You listen to what they tell you in order to find out the intentions and desires of the interlocutor. But behave as you see fit - pursue your goal.

Communicate regardless of how the other person communicates with you. You have a purpose for a specific conversation - achieve it. And here it does not matter how the interlocutor leads and what the interlocutor says. Listen to the interlocutor, but translate the conversation in the direction where you achieve your goal.

The other person may shout at you. But you can be absolutely calm at the same time, because you are pursuing your goal. Be calm to calm the other person down and set them up in a way that works for you.

People are ruled by the person who knows what he specifically wants to receive from them. If you start a conversation without knowing what you want to get from the other person, you will react to the behavior of your interlocutor. If he criticizes you, you will start criticizing him in response. If he starts yelling at you, you will start yelling back yourself. But you will choose a completely different tactic when you clearly understand your goal: "I want to come to an agreement with this person, I want to force him to accept my offer." And in this case, you no longer pay attention to the possible shouting or criticism addressed to you. You are already worried about what you say to your interlocutor, how you talk to him, in what state he is. You are no longer worried about the scream itself, but the ways through which you calm your interlocutor and force him to negotiate with you.

What goal do you want to achieve in the conversation? Set a task for yourself - what do you want to achieve from your interlocutor. And it doesn't matter how he talks to you anymore. It is important what you can do in order to get the other person to do what you expect them to do.

If there is no goal that you are pursuing in the conversation, then you will begin to behave like your interlocutor. But when you have a goal, it doesn't matter how the other person behaves. What matters is what you do to get the other person to behave in a way that is beneficial to you.

When you communicate with a girl, talk about yourself, about her, about childhood. All this will help to get to know each other better.

You can also meet girls on the Internet. The difficulty here lies in the fact that you cannot just smile and win a girl's heart. You need to choose such words so that the girls want to communicate with you. The banal “Hello. Let's talk?" does not fit. The girls are spoiled, so you need to send the first messages that are more original and affecting. What to write to a girl, her page will help to suggest: photos, information about her, interests.

Don't procrastinate on the Internet. Already within the first week, you need to invite the girl to at least talk on the phone, and even better - to meet. The first 20 minutes of talking on the phone will let you know if you want to see this girl. However, don't be too hopeful that you will like everything when you meet. Very often, virtual dating ends at the first meeting, because:

1. The girl did not put up her photo.
2. The girl no longer looks like her photo.
3. The girl is not interesting in communication. Etc.

Outcome

Every guy has numerous questions about how to communicate with girls. But here only experience will help, which you need to develop on your own through communication with different girls, in different settings and situations.