How to protect a pregnant woman from the negative energy of people. How to avoid negativity coming from a person. Who are the negative people. Our interpersonal relationships, partnership and upbringing, are also subject to this principle. They never find time to
Mark Twain
Who are negative people?
A negative person is someone who constantly complains and dumps a bunch of their problems at you. He will not lift a finger to solve them on his own, but pleadingly and sometimes demandingly will cry for help. As soon as you go on about it, and you will be made responsible for all the misfortunes that have happened or will only happen in the future with such a person.
A negative person will never support you. Moreover, he is ready to make every effort to make your idea fail. If you start losing weight, wait for him to visit with a delicious cake. If you quit smoking, he will gladly blow smoke in his eyes. Your failures and feelings of powerlessness make him happier.
Negative people, as a rule, are completely closed to criticism and take it extremely painfully. They do not want to change themselves and hate any attempt to change the existing order of things. Someone else’s success irritates them, and failure mocks them. A negative person sees only the bad in everything, does not believe in his own strength and spreads an atmosphere of despondency and despair around him.
Why is it so important to drive negative people out of your life? There are three main reasons.
- Negative people keep you from growing and reaching your life goals. They discourage you from taking action, sow doubt, and lead you astray.
- The negative energy of such people affects your energy level. In addition, they can cause stress and anxiety.
- Your life is directly dependent on those around you. The more negative characters there are among them, the more difficult and down-to-earth it will be. Positive people will help you achieve what you want, negative people will turn your life into a swamp in which you drown.
How to get rid of negative people
Step 1: define your goals
First, find out what problems you have, and then make a plan to solve them. Ask yourself if everything suits you in yourself and in life. Think about what prevents you from achieving your goals. Decide what your goals are and how much you want to achieve them. Are you able to radically change your habits, environment, lifestyle for the sake of them? Determine which people around you are hindering you and which are pushing you forward.
Step 2. Find pests
Negative people make you feel bad. They lower your energy and leave you feeling empty and frustrated. After communicating with them, you feel a breakdown, irritation, resentment.
Such people always discourage you from acting. They are sympathetic to you and your intentions, but they never offer help, but only discourage changes. “You won't succeed”, “It's too dangerous”, “We must wait”, “You are already late” - these and similar words are always at the ready.
Negative people can be different and sometimes they can be nice. But if you still see a toxic charge in a person, then it is better to stay away from him.
Step 3. Let Them Go
Just get started. You yourself can effectively and painlessly remove negative people from your environment. Avoid them. Don't pick up the phone. Remove them from your friends on social networks.
Avoid explanations. In any case, truthful. Otherwise, it can turn into a showdown, which will give another reason to drink your blood. Negative people can do relationship workshops, so don't mess with them. Just let them get out of your life.
Step 4. don't feel guilty
There is only one life, so you should not destroy it just because you are afraid to ruin the mood of another person. You should be your own best friend. If you do not take responsibility for your life and well-being, no one will do it for you.
If you decide to remove a person from your life, most likely, before that you have tried all the ways to change him. If no wise words helped, then you have no choice but to get rid of such a person. You don't have to hang out with the same people all your life. Whatever the reason, people grow and change. And the relationship between them can develop or fade.
Remember, the negative impact of negative people should not be underestimated. It is able to cross out all your life plans and deprive even the most powerful person of strength.
Have you had to radically change your environment?
There is no such person in whose environment you will not meet negative-minded persons. Acquaintances, work colleagues, just casual passers-by - they all can invade the conversation and turn the conversation into a negative direction. And no matter how we try to completely exclude from the circle of communication unpleasant personalities to us, they again and again appear on the horizon in different guises. Some of them love to feed on negative emotions so much that they consider a day lived without insults, barbs and humiliation in vain. In this post, we will teach the reader how to deal with such poisonous individuals.
Let's remember situations from the past
Remember what your environment was like at school or college? Surely the class was attended by children from dysfunctional families, bully children, hooligans and bully, dreaming of taking out their aggression, compensating for parental beatings, on their peers. And at the institute there have always existed, exist and will continue to exist groups of people who are constantly dissatisfied with the state of affairs. Remember that teaching staff has its own characteristics. Many of them have favorites, while all principled mentors are ready to simply raze all of them.
Daily negativity by occupation
Having received a profession, especially if the field of activity forces one to be involved in socially unprotected strata, a person, by the nature of his employment, is called upon to help the disadvantaged and victims, all the time taking on human troubles and problems. Our advice will help, above all, workers in the social sphere who, by the nature of their work, face negative emotions on a daily basis. All other readers will also find a lot of useful information for themselves.
Learn not to get into an argument
1. Psychologists, long and painstakingly studying relationships with negative persons, advise avoiding conflict situations with such persons. Remember that a negative person has long formed his views on life and will never change them, even if a thousand good arguments are poured on him. And for each of your weighty arguments, such a person will always find 10 of his arguments. Trying to prove your case, you will always be forced to circulate around the negative of the interlocutor, which will eventually suck you in like a funnel and will quickly pull you down.
We propose to behave as follows. At the very beginning of the conversation, give 1-2 constructive comments and track the mood of the interlocutor. If he shows no signs of deviating from his opinion, do not continue the argument. 
Empathize with upset people
2. Perhaps a good half of negative personalities will respond to your empathy. They are probably most interested in speaking out about their problem, rather than solving the issue. Play the role of a "vest", let people pour out their souls to you, and it will make them feel better.
Lend a helping hand
3. Sometimes human complaints look more like pleas and a cry for help than empty groans. Offer your all possible help in response to the next such complaint. In the end, just ask if the person is doing well and you will see the situation miraculously change.
Stick to casual communication
4. If you know some of the characteristics of negative acquaintances or colleagues at work, never translate the conversation in a direction that can agitate a sore subject. If your coworker is having problems at home, try not to talk about his wife and children, otherwise you will be sucked in by the negativity again. In this case, talk about hobbies, about winter fishing, about football - about anything that does not irritate the interlocutor.
So, you and I understand that we must more fully try to extinguish potential negative emotions. Therefore, there will always be only one way out of the situation - to bring the interlocutor to the positive. Think about the fact that perhaps the person himself was swallowed up by the abyss of negativity, and he simply does not know how to get out of the abyss. So give him a portion of positive emotions, abstract pleasant topics in the conversation. Lift the person you are talking to, give a compliment and talk about simple things. 
Ignore negative comments
5. It is impossible to control the interlocutor 100%, so be mentally prepared for the fact that sooner or later negative comments, taunts and insults will come to light again. How to proceed in this case? Save standard blanks in the form "I see", "good" or "okay". These templates act as a protective barrier that can easily help you ignore any negative comments. Do this as often as possible, and the person will realize that it is simply impossible to talk to you in a negative way.
Learn to praise someone for good things.
6. Relationships between adult members of society, their psychological aspects, can learn from positive experiences from other areas, such as the upbringing of the younger generation. It turns out that adults also subconsciously love when they are praised for good deeds, perhaps they are simply afraid to admit it to themselves. You can highlight in the interlocutor any detail you like, be it a new haircut or fashionable clothes. Perhaps for the first time he will be surprised and even confused, but he will definitely be delighted and simply disarmed. It is good to use this technique in the long term as well.
Have an extended conversation
7. Be aware that if you do not conduct a conversation in a "1 on 1" format, but involve someone else in the conversation, then the negative of the interlocutor will be sprayed into smaller particles. Thus, you will ease all the burden that you could take on yourself if you spoke in a tete-a-tete format. By connecting someone else to the conversation, you can successfully put into practice the techniques that we talked about earlier. 
Know how to be responsible for your reaction
8. No man is perfect. And maybe you yourself perceive someone in a negative light, and this is exclusively your personal judgment. Probably, other people are able to perceive the same person in a completely different way. In other words, a certain negative stereotype has developed in your mind, but this is only your opinion, and only you are responsible for it. By looking for positive traits and qualities in a person, you can develop your own skills. Of course, this is difficult, but doable.
Minimize contact
9. Everything we talked about here earlier takes a lot of work, time and patience. Let's face it, not everyone has the opportunity to “tinker” with problematic negative personalities (if only not connections with professional activities) and cultivate positive qualities in them and in themselves. In this case, there is only one way out - to reduce communication with such persons to nothing.
“Instead of wondering when you’ll get your next vacation, you need to start living a life you don’t have to run away from.” - (Seth Godin), marketer and founder of the squidoo.com referral network.
“It's crazy to do the same thing over and over again, each time expecting a different result.” - Albert Einstein, scientist, 1921 Nobel Prize winner in physics.
“Most people would prefer unhappiness over uncertainty.” - Timothy Ferriss, American writer, blogger, author of The 4-Hour Work Week.
“As a high school student, I worked part-time at a grocery store. I had 8 different bosses, and during all the time I worked, I did not bother to remember the names of any of them.
The store manager wore a golden waistcoat that didn’t suit him at all, and the CEO was constantly walking around in a light blue waistcoat (which looked even more ridiculous).
At the end of the month, before submitting the income statement, they turned into real monsters. To be honest, when a man in a light blue vest yells at you, it becomes a little embarrassing. Therefore, when one of my acquaintances came to the store, I waited for them to leave, hiding in the refrigerator.
My last year of graduate school was a living hell. I wrote several articles and finished my dissertation, but my supervisor refused to sign it, returning it again and again for revision. There is nothing worse than a person who orders you to jump, waving the keys to a brighter future in front of your face.
Every day I thought about giving up everything. I felt the spark inside me slowly extinguish: I was being strangled, and I had no choice but to watch what was happening. I had to go through something similar only once: in childhood (my parents constantly quarreled, and I was still too young to leave home) and when I began to live with my girlfriend (at some point I realized that our relationship reached a dead end, but could not do anything, because he was too poor and did not have the opportunity to break the lease).
Fortunately, I have always been able to change my life for the better. It didn't happen overnight, but I always found a way to get out of this or that situation. Now, looking back, I understand that this method has always been the same. "
Negative people will ruin your life!
The human brain is addicted to negative information. Numerous studies show that negative information travels through the amygdala (the part of the brain's limbic system located in the temporal lobe) and is immediately sent to the so-called "long-term memory store".
At the same time, the process of processing positive information takes about 12 seconds.
Another study showed that in a person who is exposed to negative influences within 30 minutes (for example, a boss screaming or a friend's monologue about how unhappy he is), neurons in the hippocampus begin to collapse, one of whose functions is to participate in the problem-solving process.
The miraculous impact of change
Change will make you happier. :)
A recent study by University of Connecticut professor of psychology, John Salamon, showed that dopamine is one of the main factors affecting a person's motivation level. It is quite obvious that in people who feel hostage to their own lives, dopamine levels are often critically low.
A similar experiment conducted by scientists at the University of British Columbia showed that one of the easiest and fastest ways to increase dopamine levels is through change.
A lot of people are constantly talking about how they want to escape from all the things that they hate so much. Nevertheless, they are in no hurry to embody their desire, continuing to drag out their usual existence, which has long ceased to bring them joy.
This is because they are afraid of change. You cannot escape negative events and negative people without leaving your comfort zone. If you do not find the strength to go beyond it, you will never get rid of the need to solve other problems and sympathize with the failures of others.
Get rid of the influence of negative people
1. Technique "Riverbed"
Take advantage of your brain's addiction to negative information.
At the end of the 19th century, Atlantic cod was in great demand in America. Rumors of the excellent taste of this fish reached the west coast very quickly. But the problem was this: West Coast restaurants had to find a way to transport the fish over such a long distance while keeping it fresh.
The suppliers decided to ship the frozen fish by train. But when restaurants received and cooked cod, it was too soft and almost lost its characteristic flavor.
After a while, it was decided to build huge aquariums filled with sea water in the train carriages. When the cargo arrived on the west coast, the fish was alive, but despite this ready-made dish, it was still tasteless.
A few years later, a young scientist began to study the nature of cod and discovered that the natural enemy of this fish was the catfish. The scientist recommended the owners of West Coast restaurants to transport fish in the same aquariums, but immerse two or three catfish in each of them.
When Atlantic cod, which managed to escape the catfish, was brought in and cooked, it tasted the same as that served in restaurants on the American East Coast. :)
If you have a negative person in your life that you cannot get rid of through traditional ignorance, learn to use him to your advantage, channeling his negativity in the direction you want.
2. Technique "Fog"
In case negative people have power over you, the best thing you can do to protect yourself from their harmful influence is to hide your true goals and plans. If they are not aware of what you really want, they will not be able to interfere with you.
Here is what Isaiah Henkel has to say about her experiences with these people:
“In graduate school, I made a huge mistake when I told my supervisor that I wanted to find a job in the mechanical engineering industry.
A few months later, when an argument broke out between us, he used this information against me. In the future, he deliberately put a spoke in my wheels so that I could not get a position in a company whose director was already ready to offer me a job.
Having missed the opportunity to get a job at my first job, I decided not to devote my scientific advisor to my plans anymore, thereby completely disarming him. "
3. Technique "Investing"
Not all negative people are useless. In fact, some of them may be much smarter and more talented than you. The negative people we meet on our life path often have similar interests to us, read the same literature and watch the same films.
Don't let your own emotions be overshadowed by the fact that people you don't like have qualities that can be beneficial.
For example, if this person succeeds in stealing your biggest customers, it’s worth considering why he still doesn’t work for you. To disarm negative people, you need to honor their merits. Thus, you can not only benefit from it, but also earn their respect and trust.
If you think that someone is driving you crazy, push your emotions into the background and try to assess the situation from the outside. Try to find something in this person that can bring certain benefits, and start collaborating.
4. Technique "Void"
Negative people use those around them as the elixir of life. They need someone who can sacrifice their time to listen to their failures and disappointments.
By making others suffer, negative people feel much better, but when you disappear - create emptiness - negative characters are forced to drag out the burden of their problems on their own.
The only drawback of the void technique is that before you can completely get rid of negative people, their influence on you will become several times stronger.
Once the negative person realizes that you are trying to pull away from him, he will do anything to win your favor again. Since you have spoken very often in the past, it will not be difficult for them to get you to respond.
Your main task is to resist this desire and remember that sooner or later this person will leave you alone.
Happiness multiplier
Happiness and success have almost the same spread as viruses. Scientists have calculated that hanging out with a successful, positive person increases your chances of being happy by 15%. If your friend's friend is a rigid optimist, then your chances of being known as fun go up by 10%, and if your friend's friend is the most positive person you know, your chances of being a little happier increase by 6%. :)
More than 7,000,000,000 people live on our planet. It would seem that finding someone who will support you and accept you for who you are should be easy. However, for most of us it is very difficult to let someone new into our lives, because past mistakes, grievances and obligations speak much more eloquently than the prospect of making friends with a positive person.
One of the most important steps in attracting successful, strong, optimistic people into your life is to improve your communication skills. A large-scale study conducted by specialists from the Center for Creative Leadership showed that poor communication skills are the first thing that harms an employee's career growth.
Isaiah Henkel suggests using the following ways to improve your communication skills.
1. Body language
In order for your interlocutor not to feel uncomfortable, learn to convey your emotional state using various non-verbal tricks - body position, facial expressions, gestures.
Research from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology shows that people who actively gesture during conversation come across as powerful, charismatic individuals.
2. Susceptibility
Usually a sensitive person has excellent communication skills, since it is much easier for him to "read" what others feel in a given situation.
One of the fastest and most effective ways to increase your sensitivity (sensitivity) is to read fiction. Many studies show that reading has a positive effect on a person's ability to identify and understand the emotions of others.
3. Calibration for the situation
In neurolinguistic programming, the term "calibration" is used to describe a person's ability to recognize and adapt to the emotional state of the interlocutor or the situation in which he finds himself.
If you walk into a room and feel that something is wrong, the first thing you should do is pay attention to the body language of those around you. Who is being aggressive? Who seems depressed? Who is neutral?
Once you understand the mood of the majority of those present, it will be much easier for you to connect with them and find out what happened.
4. Motivation for action
Some people emit light, others absorb your life energy. Of course, a person who boasts excellent communication skills belongs to the first type of people: he gives others a good mood, makes them smile, enjoy life, inspires and gives self-confidence.
If you want to induce a person to take action, you have to take care of his emotional state, since one of the most important factors affecting the degree of a person's motivation is the production of the so-called "hormones of joy", which include serotonin and endorphin.
5. Simplicity
That, how you talk about something as important as that, oh how you are telling.
By substituting professional terms for simple, understandable words, you are making a huge mistake. By embarrassing the other person, you will not look smarter in their eyes. Rather, on the contrary: he will seriously think about whether it is worth wasting time on the pompous self-confident clever man.
6. Versatility
The more variety in your life, the more interesting it is to communicate with you.
If you're a mid-level manager who spends most of your time in the office, take a few surfing or diving lessons, skydiving, or go camping with friends. If you are in the category of couch potatoes, try to find work on the Internet.
Knowing that you have many different opportunities, you cannot but take advantage of them.
7. Mindfulness
There is no more powerful technique for arming strong, influential, successful people than the effect of presence.
The effect of presence suggests that all your attention should be directed to your interlocutor: you should not only speak, but also listen, empathize, make him believe that you care.
The key to success is the right sequence
Find your purpose, rally people around you and only then offer them a product or service. In case you enjoy working for other people, this sequence remains the same: first you must define your goals, and then find a job that will help you achieve them, but not in reverse order.
It should be noted that most people do exactly the opposite: they get the desired job, build useful connections, and only then try to find at least some meaning in all this. As a rule, such people very rarely reach any heights.
1. Start at the end
A pay rise or a managerial position cannot be the end points. These are just life guidelines, the number of which is absolutely unlimited.
The main goal of any person should be his lifestyle - the list of mandatory actions that he performs, barely taking his head off the pillow or returning home from work, what he is working on day in and day out. This list may include sports, evening walks, reading, learning a foreign language, courses in mathematical modeling, and the like.
A lot of people burn out at work for an imaginary good life. The problem is that they don't even know what it should be. They just painstakingly scribble long to-do lists, fill out weekly calendars, go to business meetings, never part with their smartphone for a moment, not thinking about where all this should lead.
Pause, look ahead, identify your main goal, and then start moving towards it from the other end. :)
2. Prioritize
Your priorities in life should correlate with your goals, not your feelings and to-do lists. Only in this case will you save yourself from bizarre decisions that can lead you astray.
Remember that your goals in life are not only what you want to achieve, but also how you want to live your life.
3. Make your dreams come true
Each of us has a dream. It's easy to create a fuzzy picture of a happier, wealthier, and more successful self. However, figuring out what “happier” means to you and how much money you need to have to feel rich is not easy.
Difficulty living a positive life with negative people
Dealing with negativity can be tantamount to making life difficult for yourself. In my last job, I had a colleague with constant negative energy, and she poured all this on me on a daily basis. In our conversations, she constantly complained about everything - about the work process, about friends, about health or something else that she could think about at the time of the conversation. She was constantly cynical of other people, doubting their intentions and judging them very harshly. The conversations were unpleasant and exhausting.
So, protection from negative energy, 7 effective steps:
How to cleanse yourself of negativity? Set boundaries for communication
It is difficult to deal with negative people who are mired in their problems and cannot focus on solving them. They want to involve people from the outside in their 24/7 self-pity celebration, which boosts their self-esteem because someone empathizes with them. You understand that you are simply forced to listen to their complaints, but you cannot do anything about it, because don't want to sound callous or rude. But you have to keep a clear line between being a vest and being drawn into their emotional drama.
You can avoid this drama by setting limits and pulling back when necessary. Imagine if a person smoked cigarettes one after another, would you sit next to him all day and inhale second-hand smoke? Of course not, you would have moved away. With complaints, the situation is the same, when you realize that you have already heard them enough, step back for a while to restore the energy level.
If you're having trouble walking away soon, another great way to set boundaries is to ask the negative person how they plan to solve the problem they're complaining about.
Usually, after this question, negative people calm down or turn the conversation into a more harmonious direction, at least temporarily.
How to get rid of negative energy? Don't react - respond with awareness
In most cases, we are overreacting to something during periods of emotional overstrain. Usually the reaction is controlled by our ego, this is our human nature.
There is a split second to choose to react or respond consciously. When you feel angry or agitated, it means that you reacted to the provocation, and did not consciously respond. By responding consciously, you have a sense of balance, and you ponder your words.
To summarize, when you confront someone with negative attitudes, do not respond to them with insults, keep them to yourself. Do not forget about the sense of dignity and do not stoop to his / her level. As they say, you need to be brave enough to get away from stupidity with your head held high.
Provide lungs themes for discussions
People's negative attitudes are usually associated with seemingly harmless questions. For example, one of my friends gets very hard to manage when it comes to work. No matter what I say, he complains about everything about work, and when I try to make positive comments, he reacts to them even more sharply. And our conversation is getting very difficult.
In general, if you find yourself in a similar situation, and your interlocutor gets stuck on some topic, understand, perhaps the problem lies very deep inside him, change the topic once and don’t touch it again. It is best to translate the topic into a discussion of simple things, such as funny memories, personal successes, or other light topics. Keep the other person positive.
Focus on solutions, not problems
What you focus your attention on determines your emotional state. Focusing on problems can create negative emotions and prolong stress. But if you shift your focus to doing things that can improve your circumstances, you develop a sense of self-worth, efficiency, and a kind of pride in yourself that brings with it positive emotions and reduces stress.
The same thing happens with negative people, focusing your thoughts on how difficult and stressful they are only intensifies the suffering, giving them power over you.
If you stop thinking about how problematic a person is, focus instead on how you can present their behavior in a positive way, choose something for yourself. It is much more beneficial to put yourself in the position of the manager of the situation, this can significantly reduce the amount of stress. Try to find answers and solutions, put yourself in the position of a problem solver, and don't go with the flow.
Maintain a level of emotional detachment from other people's opinions of you.
Maintaining a level of emotional detachment is vital to keeping stress at bay. Don't let negative people (or anyone else) put their problems on your shoulders, this is very important to your emotional health and happiness. The solution to this problem comes down to how much you value yourself and how much you believe in yourself.
People who effectively manage their lives, as a rule, they work on the "inner I", i.e. those people who know that success and well-being comes from within.
Negative people usually survive at the expense of others, i.e. blaming other people or external circumstances for everything that happens or does not happen in their life.
When your feelings of satisfaction or well-being are influenced by the opinions of others, you are no longer in control of your happiness. Know this. When emotionally strong people feel good about things they've done, they don't let anyone spoil their sense of victory over a new challenge.
In truth, others either underestimate you or overestimate you, only you can evaluate your strengths. Remember this. It doesn't matter if you lose or win, you have invaluable experience. This is important.
Letting go of the urge to change other people's negative tendencies
You can help some people with a good example, but others may not. Remember this and you can strike a balance between helping and retreating. If people don't accept good examples, then step back from your idea of setting the person up in a positive way. It just won't work.
Resist the influence of energy vampires, manipulators, and emotional blackmailers who are desperate to control other people's behavior.
In view of the above, if your loved one has negative tendencies and you think over time he will change for the better, take off your rose-colored glasses, this will not happen.
If you really want to change him for any good reason, be honest and put all the cards on the table, at least this person will know how you feel and why.
For the most part, while you can't change them, you shouldn't really be trying to. Either you accept the person as he is, or live without him. It may sound a little harsh, but it is. When you try to change people, they often resist, but when you don't try to change them - you support them and give them the freedom to be themselves, they gradually change miraculously. Because the only thing that drives them is how you see them.
Dedicate enough time each day to work on yourself.
You should neglect yourself just because others are doing it. and if you are forced to live or work with a negative person, make sure you have enough time alone to rest and recover.
Playing the role of a "focused, rational adult" in the face of negativity can be very exhausting, and if you're not careful, negativity can consume you.
Thoughts of negative people can fill your life even at night, when you constantly ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I doing the right thing?
- Am I so terrible that people talk to me like that?
- I can't believe he did it
- It hurts so much
Such thoughts can keep you agonizing for weeks, months or even years. Unfortunately, sometimes the goal of a negative person is to drive you crazy, and sink to his level so that they are not alone. And since you cannot control what they do, it is important to take care of yourself, then you can stay in the center of negativity, feeling healthy and full of energy when necessary.
A bit more…
Even if you find it difficult to admit that you are the negative person, you need to do so. Sometimes it's your own negativity that hurts you more than anything else.
If your inner critic is eating you up, try to get rid of all the thoughts and thoughts that hurt you, or at least some of them, and you will feel better.
Remember, you don't need negative thoughts.
Get started and watch this little tip change your life.
And finally, a little cartoon ...