Dental beauty and health 

What to do if the spouses have ceased to understand each other. What to do if the spouses have ceased to understand each other How to tell the wife where she belongs

More precisely, I will answer the question: " How can a stronger and smarter one get out of a situation with dignity when he is attacked by an inadequate loved one?",
and examples to take from typical showdowns between a husband and wife or a boss with a subordinate.

How it happens:
Occurs in a woman some minor problem anxiety, suspicion does not immediately find a solution, but postponed for later, suppressed and ignored both participants.
Over time, observations, the opinions of girlfriends, irritation with your man, his manifestations of weakness are added to the problem ... and the moment comes when carrying it in yourself further is traumatic or simply pointless. And then a completely unsuspecting man receives a statement about all painful problems at once, and in a confused unfiltered form.

Most often, the final words of a woman can be reduced to " Finally do something about problem x ... you're a man! (or you are not a man!)", and declared, what from this"anything" the feelings of a woman directly depend. A man's world turns upside down in a second, a ton of new information (and speculation) is poured over and there is absolutely no time for a calm analysis of what was heard. His woman feels bad, but he, smarter and stronger, overlooked this, did not save ... the last beast! Even if the woman's words do not even say literally "or you are not a man",
but the man will survive the moment of unexpected accusations against him... And here comes the key moment for him (twice!):
- Either agree with the accusation, take the burden of guilt upon myself and rush to correct what I did, they say I did not know what I was doing, I repent, I promise to fix everything, I will do it in a hurry, I will in every possible way correspond to the title of a man, pretend the correct behavior, but then I don't care I'll break loose, relax and go(to the store for vodka / for women / yelling at mother-in-law / playing toys / spending the night at work), becoming "the last beast" again".
- Either Immediately visualize this path, refuse to dance to her stupid tune and move without delay to the role of "the last brute", embittered, reflecting attacks and expecting that "I need to be loved the way I am, and whoever does not agree, let him roll on all four sides," then send this stupid chick and meet new, which at the first controversial situation declare the mantra "I must be loved ..."
And we'll talk about the third "either". And in order to find it, it is worth taking a closer look at the starting situation when the woman is still talking.
What does she feel when she speaks, and what does she hope for?
Feels anxiety, anxious pressure of circumstances, which intensifies, takes away strength and attention.
At the same time, it is completely impossible to see how and how it will end ... and this usually ends badly.
Considering that strength becomes less and less, attention is narrowed by anxiety, woman grabs the first decision she comes across and puts all his efforts into implementing it in a kind of finishing spurt (?), i.e. she seeks to speed up the denouement, while there is still strength, to get to the bottom of all the negative moments at once, to provoke all negative emotions suppressed by the man in order to know the "whole truth" in order to increase the pressure of guilt or to imagine the situation as hopeless, so that it would be easier to break with "such a loser who even ...".
A man sees a bunch of flaws. and internal contradictions in a hastily sculpted decision by a woman and begins to criticize him, thereby taking away from her the last straw of hope
(or a bloody knife, with which nowadays innocent girls are often depicted in a pool of blood from horror films and anime cartoons).
Female naturally further strengthens the grip and becomes even more stubborn, and if at this moment a man begins to portray an imperturbable adult who is looking for a way to solve the stated problem, then she will criticize all his suggestions to smithereens, and when implemented, it will put a spoke in the wheels and resist in every possible way, because any solution to the _ stated problem_
won't give her a sense of security... Men who solve the stated problems usually then wonder how she could do so mean to him, run away when he did so much good for her.

1 ESTABLISHING SECURITY BORDERS

And what is a man to do here, in the midst of stupid vanity and a false decision? (among a false decision - need to change the wording?)
So order the same, investigate the problem and build a solution.
For this you will need perseverance, attention, a supply of patience and love, confidence and permission to make mistakes, which will need to be spent mainly on doing the above, while dodging the chaotic movements of the bloody knife, convulsively squeezed in the palm of the desperate girl. And the good news is even desperate girls have limits, which they are just now testing for strength ...

You know, *% no **, I'm sick of all this, I'm leaving you!
- 1) But what about the children? / I've heard it a million times already / And what was my fault this time? / It's high time!
(This means "the knife hit", the man accepted the rules of the game of one of the first two scenarios "either", entered the position of a woman, felt all the negative emotions and agreed
with the presence of an insoluble contradiction, that is, he became weaker, trust in him became less, the crack in the relationship widens, and the problem changes to the one in relation to which he showed weakness.
It is not for nothing that flight attendants on airplanes say that when depressurizing, a stronger adult puts on an oxygen mask first, and does not rush to immediately help his child.)
- 2) Unexpectedly! Everything seemed to be fine, but then suddenly rrraz ... and we part. What happened? Why is there such a rush?
(Expressing your first feelings and switching to the reasons for her decision.)

Here it goes to the next level where the woman is in a hurry and proposes decisions that the man must accept and implement:
- You don’t love me, I don’t like this apartment, with you I completely ceased to feel like a woman. A loving man is always ready to sacrifice everything for the sake of his beloved,
and you even (you can't take me to a normal restaurant / buy a fur coat / leave work early and take me home from fitness /.../)!
- 1) But dear ... we do not have such an opportunity / I have already brought so many sacrifices to you, I don’t want any more / you know that this is unpleasant for me /.../
(Pathetic excuses AFTER her rules of the game are silently and unknowingly accepted, i.e. search and criticism of solutions to the stated problem. Again he is in the first "either".)
- 2) Ie. love for you means any sacrifice at the first request of a woman, regardless of your own interests? You want me to fulfill your wishes without question,
even if it means a loss of self-esteem, a serious problem with other loved ones, a big step back in your career or your business? You want next to you
to see a weaker, disrespectful, precarious man on his feet? Yes, you will be the first to lose respect for me, you will accuse me of companionship, call me a weakling,
and in the end you will leave me! So it's better now, if you want exactly this, than to suffer with each other for several years, and in the end get the same thing!
(The point is to simply describe explicitly the development in the future of the scenario that the man is afraid of, show it to the woman and offer her a choice, taking into account the consequences.
In most cases, this means remembering common interests in a pair, and analysis, in which it becomes clear that one in this pair pushes the problem to the other,
and, in total, there is no less dirty trick inside the pair ... but this is quite possible ... well, when already there is an experience of such joint actions that helped both.)
Here the woman comes face to face with a contradiction that confuses and frightens her even more. This makes it "wave the knife" even more often, giving out at the speed of a machine gun
more and more "decisions", orders, judgments, etc. All this should be answered in the same spirit, returning her contradictions to her:
(You are a goat)
"Will you achieve anything good for yourself if you convince me of my wretchedness, uselessness and hopelessness? What will happen if I agree?"
(You are dumb)
"You consider yourself stronger and smarter than me now, while I, weaker and stupid, can solve an important problem for you, which you yourself cannot cope with? What is the point of demanding this from me?"
(You gotta promise me)
"Do you think that if you make me say what you want, give you a promise that is too difficult for me, it will somehow bring what you want closer to you?"
(You gotta make it faster)
"Do you want me to hurry up on such an important matter, hastily grab onto an unverified solution and increase the chances of a mistake?"
(You have to do it all yourself without disturbing me)
"Are you sure that I know better than you what you want and that I can achieve the best result for you without appealing to your feelings?"
(You gotta do this, that, that, and that)
"You named 4 problems at once, do you think it is easier to solve 4 problems in bulk, or will we analyze them separately, starting with the first?"
(You owe it, and in general I care about something else)
"You switched from one problem to another ... does this mean that having dealt with a new problem, we will automatically solve the first one? Or the first is still more important and it is worth returning to it, and postponing the new one for now?"
(Come on, quickly lay out what you offer)
"Are you sure you are ready to use my advice blindly without feeling it right?"
(All the goats)
"Are you sure that such a conviction brings you closer to solving the task at hand?"
And here is an example of using this approach in business.

If a man does not have a clear answer to some of the female attacks, then maybe her proposal is not so bad, maybe there is a reasonable grain in it, and the inadequacy is just imagined? Then you should agree to it and accept your part of the responsibility for the implementation of this proposal, at least in order to find out where this road leads,
to know the answer next time. Besides, no one bothers (except himself) to stop later and continue the current conversation as soon as the desired clarity appears.

In an amicable way, it is possible to respond in this way in a heated squabble only with full mastery and awareness of this principle ... i.e. at the automatic level of proficiency,
otherwise, while constructing one answer, after the first wave of collision, another dozen will follow, and they will only laugh at such inhibition
and they will pile up a hundred more claims from above, i.e. stupidly crushed by the masses, what else they will be proud of ... there are very few chances to achieve the desired result immediately,
therefore makes sense to try the above behavior in those conflicts that cannot be avoided without serious losses, and then analyze and find your weak points,
which "by themselves" were substituted under the metaphorical "bloody knife", so that later, at least for myself, learn to return (?) the contradictions associated with them.
But what can I say ... It is for yourself that you need to do this from the very beginning, because the "girl with the knife" can live inside us too, pushing us towards self-destruction.

The result of such protection will be the weakening and disarming of the "girl with a knife", who can now be gently hugged, feeling the safety between you,
calm down and, if strength and attention remain, calmly, having gathered strength and attention, begin to study and solve the problem.
The preparation is over.
If you postpone the solution of the problem indefinitely, then the reasons will begin to press again, and there is a chance that a new explosion will begin before you remember your desire to help... You will again try to isolate yourself from other people's problems in such a way, but the energy in resolving the contradiction is released only once,
therefore, there is a new weapon for the tricks described above, "You speak beautifully, but this is all just idle chatter!" And the reason will already be
what has arisen new, even more serious from the point of view of emotions, a contradiction: " We disarmed the inadequate girl on the grounds that we are going to be together,
that we have common interests, that her well-being is in our interests, as well as our well-being is in her interests (and it took a lot of work for her to admit it),
deprived her of her strength and last protection ... and then quietly evaporated when it became clear that nothing threatens our personal safety, leaving her alone with that heap of reasons,
who previously brought it to inadequacy. "
And the result will be that we will then have no way to keep ourselves safe in such situations, and moment of safety and trust when the weapon is folded and the strength to fight is over, will be darkened by the memory repeated "explosion". How easy it will be then to think: “Even in such powerless and unarmed, some kind of dirty trick is ripening for me, and sooner or later it will explode ... They can't be trusted!"

Prior to this line, I always meant that from the options proposed by the man, the woman everywhere chose "we do so that we would be good together in the future",
but what if she chooses separation and ignores the interests of men? To convince otherwise is kind of stupid and only leads to a loss of respect for a man,
Agreeing and accepting at face value is also not the best way out; it would mean leaving the woman in a difficult situation and staying idle when she might be harmed.
The criterion for the decision here is the woman's readiness to take an independent step. If at the same time some actions, words, permissions, signals are required from you:
(man) - Are you ready to solve the problem with me?
(woman) - No, I'm leaving! (and continued)
a) Requires something from a man, provokes, offends, tries in every possible way to hook his feelings ... does something _for him_, hiding behind the fact that it is for himself.
This means that a woman is playing breakup to help a man change his behavior and take into account his interests. Accordingly, this is just another attack in the game of self-destruction.
and here it is enough to note that a man is ready to take into account the interests of only those who are ready to take into account his interests in response, to stand firm, waiting for recognition,
and avoid the temptation to go into details of cooperation before it is recognized by both parties. If there are notes of mockery and antics in the recognition, it can be noted that
that in such decisions there are no half measures, that the decision is difficult, that the man is ready to accept her decision, whatever it may be, that she will be able to change it in the future if she has grounds for this, that the man will try to refrain from manipulating, remembering this solution (and if it does break through, then they will also try to solve this problem together),
that a decision made under pressure from a man would be an imitation and a waste of a lot of time and energy for both.
b) Behaves really inadequately, threatening the health of oneself and those around him, intensifies aggression when trying to start a dialogue.
Usually such cases end in violence, mental trauma and material damage.
Here I will better refer to the post "Uncontrollable child" http://olga-podolska.livejournal.com/57996.html
In short, strong hugs, immobilization and monotonous repetitive soothing words without any aggression,
and until calmness, awareness and acceptance of the boundaries, beyond which are the personal space of other people, appears in the behavior of the former aggressor.
c) Gathers, speaks of his desires, feelings relating only to her.
It means she made a choice. To stop her at this moment means to freeze the problem and make the choice to "leave" a dream to which she will strive, accusing the man of resistance.
Here one can only agree with the decision of an adult and let her go, give her the opportunity to experience on her own experience what separation from a man means for her.

If a man and a woman, every man for himself, have made conscious decisions about their future life together, then we can proceed to the reverse task:
To help a weakened, disarmed, uncontrolled girl again become an adult adequate woman to the extent that she is capable of becoming her.

BORDER EXPANSION, DELEGATION

This part will be published later, and it will describe the method "How can a man help a disarmed girl to regain strength, responsibility and the right to influence a man, and exactly to the extent that she is able to control this force and keep from falling into self-destruction?"

Irina Davydova


Reading time: 5 minutes

A A

For many people, work is not only a source for replenishing the family budget and an anchor of stability, but also a hobby that is a way of self-expression and brings a certain joy in life. Unfortunately, work is not always associated only with bright and pleasant emotions: relationships with colleagues can force even a calm person to slam the door.

How to put in place insolent colleagues?

5 responses to a colleague if he constantly nags at work

Is your "comrade" at work vigilantly watching your every step, unreasonably finding fault with every little thing, exhausting you with attacks, reproaches and jokes? Do not rush to splash lemonade in the face of an impudent person or send him on a long journey to a famous address - first, make sure that you have exhausted all cultural methods.

  • "Would you like a cup of coffee?" And have a heart-to-heart chat. You will be surprised, but goodwill sometimes not only discourages the impudent and deprives him of "thorns", but also quickly solves the problem. In the end, adequate adults are always able to find a common language.
  • Be flexible and compromise. Even if nothing comes of it, your conscience will be clear - you at least tried.
  • "You have parsley stuck in your teeth." Limit all attacks to a joke. With a smile, but categorically "move out" from any reproach. And continue to calmly do your job. On the principle of "smile and wave." On the 10th time, a colleague will get tired of your answering jokes and “non-action” (the best answer to a hammam is precisely non-action!) And will find himself another victim.
  • "Your suggestions?". And really - let him show and tell. Give the person the opportunity to express themselves, and give yourself the opportunity to move on to a normal dialogue with a colleague. Calmly listen to his objections and suggestions. Also, calmly agree or, in case of disagreement, reasonably and, again, calmly voice your point of view.
  • “And indeed. And how did I not immediately realize? Thanks for noticing! Let's fix it. " No need to go into the bottle. The most bloodless option is to agree, smile, do as you are asked. Especially if you are wrong, and the colleague is a more experienced person in your work.

5 right steps to be followed by a work colleague and reported to your boss

Have you got a "sent Cossack" in your team? And more and more for your soul? If you are an exemplary worker and have a firm habit of keeping your mouth shut, then you do not need to worry. However, it will not hurt to know about the rules of behavior with "informers".

  • Putting a colleague in an information vacuum. We discuss all important and personal issues only outside of work. Let the comrade starve without food for denunciations. And, of course, we take a responsible approach to our work. If you come in after noon, run away long before the end of the working day, and spend most of your working time in the "smoking room", then the boss will assign you indefinite vacationers even without the bad guys.
  • We act from the opposite. Calmly and confidently we launch "misinformation", and let the informer warm his long ears and spread this misinformation around the company. The minimum that awaits him is a reprimand from his superiors. The method is radical, and it may well turn out to be a double-edged sword, so choose the material for the "disinformation" very carefully.
  • "Who is there?". We ignore the colleague himself and his attempts to ruin your life. And as for the bosses, there is no need to worry: no one likes informers. Therefore, do not try to run after your colleague-informer to the manager and insert your 5 kopecks. Just "sit by the river and wait for the corpse of your enemy to float past you."
  • "Well, shall we talk?" A heart-to-heart conversation is a very realistic solution to the problem. But without bosses and in the presence of witnesses - other colleagues. And preferably those colleagues who are on your side. In the process of a sincere conversation, one can explain to a colleague that everyone knows about his actions that no one supports these actions, and that at all times the fate of informers was unenviable (everyone chooses the tone of the conversation and epithets to the best of their intelligence). It is worth noting that as a result of such conversations, informers very often realize their mistakes and take the path of correction. The main thing is to convey to the person that they do not stay long in your friendly and strong team with such life "principles".
  • To hell with delicacy, we count the ribs of the snitch! This is the worst case scenario. It will not increase your "karma" unambiguously. Therefore, emotions - aside, sobriety of thinking and calmness - above all. Better yet, humor can help relieve tension. It is humor, not sarcasm and skillfully inserted hairpins.

In the matter of denunciations, it is always harder than with ordinary rudeness. A boor can, if desired, be pulled over to his side, calm down, brought to a conversation, turned into a friend from an enemy. But to be friends with an informer - this pride, as a rule, does not allow anyone. Therefore, if a snake has started up in your friendly team, deprive it of its poison right away.

A colleague is openly rude - 5 ways to lay siege to an insolent person

We meet boors everywhere - at home, at work, in transport, etc. But if a bus boor can be ignored and forgotten as soon as you got off at your stop, then a boor colleague is sometimes a real problem. After all, you will not change jobs because of him.

How to lay siege to an insolent person?

  • We answer every boorish attack with a joke. So your nerves will be more intact, and your authority among colleagues - higher. The main thing is not to cross the line in your jokes. "Below the belt" and black humor are not an option. Don't stoop to the level of a colleague.
  • We turn on the recorder. As soon as the boor opens his mouth, we take out the dictaphone from our pocket (or turn it on on the phone) and with the words “Wait, wait, I'm recording,” we press the record button. There is no need to frighten the boor that you will take this audio collection to the boss, write down "For history!" - defiantly and certainly with a smile.
  • If a boor asserts himself in this way at your expense, deprive him of this opportunity. Does he bother you during your lunch break? Eat at a different time. Does it interfere with your workflow? Transfer to another department or work schedule. There is no such possibility? Ignore the lunges and see point 1.
  • "Want to talk about it?" Every time someone tries to piss you off, turn on your inner psychiatrist. And look at your opponent with the forgiving eyes of a psychiatrist. Specialists never contradict their violent patients. They pat them on the head, smile affectionately and agree with everything the patients say. For especially violent ones - a straitjacket (a phone camera will help you, and the whole series of videos on YouTube).
  • We grow personally. Take care of yourself - your work, hobbies, growth. With personal growth, all boors, informers and gossips remain somewhere outside of your flight. Like ants underfoot.

5 answers to how to deal with a gossip colleague

Of course, everyone is thrown off balance by the false rumors spread behind their backs. At this moment, you feel “naked” and betrayed. Especially if the information about you spreading at the speed of light is true.

How to behave?

  • Pretend that you are not aware of the situation and continue to work calmly. They'll gossip and stop. As you know, "everything passes", and this too.
  • Join the discussion of yourself. With humor and jokes, jokes. Get involved in the gossip and boldly add a couple of shocking details. Even if the gossip continues, at least relieve the tension. It will be much easier to work further.
  • Point a colleague to specific articles of the Criminal Code on libel which he breaks with his gossip. Doesn't understand in an amicable way? File an honor and dignity lawsuit.
  • Every day, deliberately and defiantly throw a colleague a new topic for gossip. Moreover, the topics should be such that in a week the team is completely tired of them.
  • Talk to the boss. If all else fails, then only this option remains. Just don't rush into the boss's office and do the same thing that your colleague is doing. Calmly ask your superiors for help without naming names - let them advise you on how to get out of this situation with honor without harming the general microclimate in the team.

Interesting experiments carried out by a famous psychologist, Professor Stoerosov, show how the psyche and behavior of successfully notorious women change in the shortest possible time. If at the beginning of the experiment 98 out of 100 respondents agreed with the statement that "women are people too", then at the end of the experiment there were only 4 of them. The overwhelming majority (97 out of 100) completely lost the obsessive desire to demand anything from a man; they expressed a willingness to tolerate any of his behavior. It is also possible to drive a woman into a complex with the help of one simple technique, which is called "healthy criticism."

You are the highest happiness for a woman!

Before embarking on it, you should clearly understand that regardless of your personal data (age, weight, stuttering, chronic alcoholism, outstanding convictions, etc.), your appearance in a woman's life is happiness undeserved by her. The very fact that you condescend to her, you show her the greatest favor. So, you have convinced yourself that you are a treasure and a real man. Being with you is the highest happiness for any woman, including millionaires and Hollywood movie stars. You look proudly at your reflection in the mirror. Now start criticizing your woman. Remember that there are no ideal people besides you, and therefore you can criticize her for anything.

If she has a higher education, and you do not, then she is a blue stocking, a mathematical biscuit, an archival rat and is too smart for a real woman. If you have a higher education, and she does not, then she is a stupid chicken, ignorant, simpleton and underdeveloped for you.

If she is a successful professional and earns more than you, then she went headlong into work in order to hide her female inferiority. If she earns less than you, then she is a bad professional and only imitates, like all women, the ability to create.

If she works in the public sector, it means that she is incapable of more and covers up her inability to get a job with an imaginary attachment to the business.

If a woman was never married, nobody needed her. If she was married, she could not cope with the role of wife and was unable to maintain the marriage.

If she lives with her parents, she is a mama's daughter, mentally and emotionally immature person. If she lives far from her parents, she is a bad daughter who does not care about her mother and father. If she is an orphan, it’s a good idea to find out why her parents died and whether her dissolute behavior hastened their demise.

It is always possible and necessary to criticize age. Remember, a woman doesn't have a good age! She is either too young, or too old, or looks very bad for her age.

Criticism of appearance and character is truly limitless. The main thing is to notice the shortcomings in time and constantly remind about them.

Educational measures

1. "Help" the woman to deal with her shortcomings. If she is fat, buy her grace belts or robes; if she has bad hair, buy her a wig, etc. If she starts to feel complex because of gaps in education, buy her an encyclopedic dictionary. At the same time, do not forget to repeat that you - and only you - are able to love her, despite her fullness, age, bad character, acne, saggy breasts and other "charms".

2. Comparison. Compare her with other women, with the wives of friends, with Hollywood stars and prominent personalities in world history. Simple, inexpensive and at the same time very effective. A double effect, by the way, is given by comparing a woman's figure with the bodies of Playboy models, and her sexual temperament - with the behavior of the heroines of porn films.

Finally

The main recipe for criticism is regularity. Several times every day. Do not argue in any way. In response to her counterarguments, smile, pat her on the head and whisper: "I still love you, baby, no matter what ..." And so every time. The criticism course lasts from 2 months to 2 years. At the end of it, you will finally be able to feel like a real macho, a true man, the master of the Universe. Unless, of course, your chosen one runs away from you or strangles you.

Difficulty in relationships

How to put a girl in her place

At the beginning of the relationship, everything was fine and clear: your girlfriend loved you, she valued you and wanted to get your attention. You were a lucky guy. But gradually the girl's attitude towards you began to change, she became colder, and her attitude towards you became dismissive. She realized that she could put pressure on you, and you will bend. And from that moment on, your relationship finally deteriorated.

Now the girl sits on top of you and tries to urge you on, and although you don't like it, you can't do anything about it. The girl does not perceive all your words and threats, or even uses it against you. I agree that this attitude of the girl is unbearable, and you really understand that it’s time to put her in her place.

Why did the girl sit on her neck

As you know, men are strong creatures, but they tend to stick to the things and people they love. Therefore, even a strong man over time, under the influence of female deceit, begins to weaken. He begins to make expensive gifts, spends more time on the girl than is worth it, begins to serve the girl, and ultimately loses all his masculine strength, which means his attractiveness and his value. And this is the beginning on the part of the girl.

The girl begins to see the weakness in her man, she realizes that he is hooked and now will not go anywhere, and she begins to use it. Day after day, her pressure becomes stronger and stronger, until the man finally breaks down and obeys the whims of his girlfriend. And then she becomes an arrogant and cruel girl who not only creates whatever her soul wants, but can also simply leave such a man.

For example: you, too, got into a situation where you had some kind of argument with your girlfriend, and suddenly she turned into a cold bitch without emotions, who made you apologize and ask for forgiveness, although a minute ago you were sure that you were right.

Therefore, it should be clear to you that you cannot leave the situation in this position. This is the beginning of the end of the relationship. After all, if a girl has become insolent and has ceased to respect you, then sooner or later someone will appear who is with you. And this is unacceptable.

How to put a girl in her place

If your girlfriend just started to get cold and impudent, then you need to reduce the number of contacts with her. This will help you fight off her destructive pressure yourself, as well as show her your strength and confidence: you are a confident guy, you don’t worry about your girlfriend every 5 minutes, you don’t call her, you don’t write.

Next, you need to switch the vector of your warmth from your girlfriend to your favorite pastime: sports, friends, hobbies, studies, work. This will show your girlfriend that she is not the only light in your life, you can occupy yourself without her. It turns out especially cool if you are still starting to talk (brag) about your successes. This will show your girlfriend that you can be successful and you don't need her help or control.

And, of course, you reduce the number of meetings with a girl, but make them brighter and more memorable. For example, you walked around the city and sat on a bench, and now you are eating somewhere or doing some of your business. This is called quantity-to-quality translation. Such dates are needed to make the girl wait and want them to sit at home and look forward to when you call her and invite her to a meeting.

You must also learn to control your emotions. Whatever your girlfriend does, your behavior should remain neutral and calm. No matter what provocations she does, no matter how she stomps and shouts, you are calm. No attacks and no blackmail of a girl should make you weak and defensive. You are a monolith:

What do you get at the end: If you directly tell your girlfriend that you are not satisfied with this state of affairs, and you want to change everything, this will only make her laugh and she will increase the pressure on you. Therefore, you need to act carefully and gradually, as we described above. This will lower her "value" and she will start to fuss and show her good side again.

Remember, girls respect guys equal to themselves or of a higher rank, so you must definitely learn to control your feelings and hide admiration from the girl so that she doesn't say to herself: "Yeah, another fool is running after me." And only when your head is clean and calm, the girl will be interested in you with the desire to be yours.

How not to put a girl in her place

Aggression. More often than not, when a girl becomes insolent, guys begin to behave harshly and harshly. They believe that such a “masculine” behavior will show the girl the “male smell” and she will again start running and jumping next to him.

In reality, this behavior only works for a short period of time, until the girl decides to "check for lice" her boyfriend. And she, ultimately, will see that there is nothing behind all the severity of the guy. It also breaks under pressure, as before, and this only provokes the girl even more.

Other girls. In fact, hanging out with other girls is a good way to show the fragility of your relationship, which should make her appreciate them and stop being selfish and narcissistic. However, this is where female cunning and deceit comes into play.

The girls just stand up and say: "Either you stop all communication with the girls, or I leave." And it turns out that you either lose all initiative, or you lose your girlfriend. Few guys can play this situation competently in order to preserve their strength and keep the girl. Therefore, if you are not sure of your cunning, then it is better not to do so.

Conversations with her girlfriends. For some unknown reason, some guys start complaining about their girlfriend to her friends, wanting to get support and some advice from them. But such friends naturally tell everything to your girlfriend, who after that even more begins to press you and become impudent. Therefore, you should not tell anyone about your weakness and inability to cope with the girl: she can use it against you.

Therefore, now follow our instructions and restore your authority and strength in the eyes of the girl.

Good afternoon, dear participants! I need your friendly advice. There will be no big negativity, so please pay attention). My young wife turns out to be disrespectful to her parents and has become rude.
I am 30. Here's the thing. I got married two months ago. Before that, for 5 years (after a long relationship) I was looking for a girlfriend. I reviewed a lot of candidates, but after that I despaired of finding an intelligent, eternal, kind, etc. and scored. But suddenly happiness fell on my head like a lump of snow from a roof. She was both beautiful and smart - a medalist at school and a red diploma at the university. A girl from Siberia, from a small town, not spoiled by anything, brought up. There is a sense of humor. Modest. Does not smoke or drink. She went in for sports. All our interests coincided. 7 years younger than me. It was a wonderful summer, every day I came up with something new, we traveled the whole region by car and bicycles. I, of course, not so directly, but in between times I was looking for a catch. He was absent. I loved her, she loved me. I analyzed every "cell" of her behavior, strained all my life experience - everything was in order. I concluded that I can't find this anywhere else, and there is no point in looking, and how much you can.
Made her an offer. She immediately agreed, went and bought rings. They got married a month later, modestly, one friend-witness and one parent, and then two weeks later my friends. They moved to me.
By the way, parents live in Siberia 3500 km away. There are not even friends here, she lived with her grandfather.
So, when we got married (and only then began to live together), my mother did a lot for us, and especially for my wife. But she did not indulge, since the person herself is serious. I gave us a phone number for the DR, and we had good rings for our wedding. My wife has a card to the most expensive fitness in the city (where I also go). Clothes, and a lot of everything .. The most important thing is not material - she devoted a lot of time and attention to us every day.
On New Year's Eve, we went to her parents in Siberia - I must say that I had not met them before (it was very expensive to fly for one day because we were leaving on a honeymoon trip). And after the arrival, small misunderstandings began, and the last time there was a problem. My mother is now sick, seriously, but this is temporary, and I often take her to a sanatorium and to see doctors. On the last weekend it so happened that I spent almost the whole day with her. And at home, completely unexpectedly, my young wife made a big complaint to me that - "I spend a lot of time with my mother", "this is not normal, will you take care of her all the time now ??" she did for me. " My eyes just widened. The second problem - after the trip (they have a good family, but my mother, as it seemed to me, takes the position of a leader, not very much, but the character is very difficult and dad is constantly maneuvering, but the family is prosperous, in abundance), my wife began to talk to me in a dismissive tone, a little rude and slightly derisive. She began to set some conditions, so in the little things. This is how a wife talks to her husband when that loser or slob is not cleave. Or if they have lived together for a long time. But everything is fine in our family - I decorate the house, repair it, have a car, an apartment, work, I want to buy a dacha, I have a boat. But she had never had it before. I'm just shocked by surprise. The question is - how to deal with it, where did it come from? How the demon possessed. How to explain to the girl that out of all this happiness she can again be with her grandfather in a one-room apartment. Maybe she just got a little impudent in her youth?
My probable mistakes - I was too democratic, did not set any conditions when they moved to me, gave everything at once.

UPG: please don't need dirt. There is no real problem.
UPD2: Dear accomplices!

Thanks for your comments. Positive, and not very positive ... I am sincerely sorry that having written a little in the heat of the moment such a post caused a lot of indignation in your hearts, because in a fit of despair I tried to attract attention to myself with excessively harsh phrases, and especially the title. Forgive anyone personally hurt in the comments. I am sincerely sorry. Actually, I wanted to write a more positive post, but it took too long to formulate.

For the "girl" - do not quarter, it is already clear that he went too far.