Ranevskaya's phrases about life. Irony as an "analgesic" for mental pain

Collection topic: quotes and phrases by Faina Ranevskaya.

• Women die later than men because they are always late.
• People, like candles, are divided into two types: some - for light and heat, and others - in the ass.
• How is smart different from wise? The clever one knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but the wise never gets into it.
• If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
• I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
• Life is too short to be wasted on diets, greedy men, and bad moods.

• Do you know what it is to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and there is a guided tour.
• Something for a long time they do not tell me that I would…. I'm losing popularity.
• This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
• Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? once asked Ranevskaya. Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that they can love men.
• I am amused by the excitement of people over trifles, I myself was the same fool. Now, before the finish line, I understand clearly that everything is empty. All that is needed is kindness and compassion.
  
• Optimism is a lack of information.
• Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. In fact, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
• If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
• The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives rise to a mother-heroine. The union of a stupid woman and an intelligent man gives rise to a single mother. The union of an intelligent woman and a stupid man creates an ordinary family. The union of an intelligent man and an intelligent woman gives rise to light flirting.
• On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do or think anything, but when he is full, he cannot.
  
• The few animals were included in the Red Book, and there are many of them in the Book about tasty and healthy food. (Ranevskaya's funny statements about animals)
• Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
• They ask me why I do not write about Akhmatova, because we were friends ... I answer: I do not write, because I love her very much.
• I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I have never cheated on my husband - also because I never had one, ”Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist. - So what, - the journalist does not lag behind, - does it mean you have no shortcomings at all? - In general, no, - Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity. And after a short pause she added: - True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little ...
• A woman in the theater washes the toilet. I ask her to work for me, to clean the apartment. Answers: "I can't, I love art."
  
• Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
• A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
• Life is a protracted leap from ... to the grave. (Ranevskaya's statements about life and death)
• Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
• Life goes by and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
• I keep thinking about Pushkin. Pushkin is a planet! He's somewhere near. I will not part with him. What would I do in this world without Pushkin ...

• After the next performance, already in the dressing room, looking at the flowers, notes, letters, postcards, Ranevskaya often noticed: - How much love, and there is no one to go to the pharmacy ...
• Ranevskaya was asked: what is the most difficult for her? “Oh, the hardest thing I do before breakfast,” she said. - And what is it? - I'm getting out of bed. (Faina Ranevskaya quotes about the most difficult ...)
• When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."
• I will have a happy day when you become impotent, - said Ranevskaya to the annoying boyfriend.
• I feel, but bad.
• I saw how the sparrow clearly spoke barbs to another, tiny and weak, and as a result poked him in the head with its beak. Everything is like people. (Ranevskaya quotes and aphorisms)
  
• I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
• A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
• Why are all fools such women?
• Walking down the street, Ranevskaya was pushed by some man, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna said to him: - For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you get home, your mother will jump out of the doorway and bite you properly.
• How I envy the mindless! (Many people search on the Internet for funny or funny statements by Faina Ranevskaya, this saying can be counted as such)
• At night, I almost always read Pushkin. Then I take sleeping pills and read again, because sleeping pills do not work. I again take sleeping pills and think about Pushkin. If I met him, I would tell him how wonderful he is, how we all remember him, how I have lived with him all my long life ... Then I fall asleep, and I dream about Pushkin. He walks with a cane along Tverskoy Boulevard. I run to him, shout. He stopped, looked, bowed and said: "Leave me alone, old b ... How you bored me with your love."
• Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that all the time, about eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya is a talented actress of theater and cinema of the USSR. She can be safely called one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century. For her services in the cinema, journalists called her "the queen of the second plan."

In the modern world, Faina Ranevskaya is remembered not for her roles, but for witty statements, most of which were scattered into quotes.

An amazing actress with a great sense of humor became famous for her amazing performance in Mikhail Romm's silent film "Pyshka" (1934). By the way, the familiar character Fröken Bock from the cartoon "Carlson is Back" (1970) was sketched from Faina Ranevskaya, she also voiced this "house-tormentor".

Let's remember the most cynical and caustic of her statements, which are considered classics. You probably used her quote without even knowing who first said it.

Let's play a hooligan and remember the best swear words of the legendary Faina Ranevskaya.

1. Annoying fans

Phrase: "PionEry, go to ** poo!"
Faina Georgievna was terribly annoyed when, seeing her on the street, passers-by (especially children) began to shout: "Mulya, don't make me nervous!" Once she was surrounded by a crowd of schoolchildren, joyfully chanting the famous phrase from "Foundling". Then Ranevskaya said in her hearts: "Pioneers, go to ** poo!"

A similar fate befell the Timurovites, who showed up at the actress's home with an offer to help with the housework. “PionEry! Join hands - and go to ** poo! " she rapped out and slammed the door.

By the way, once even Brezhnev got it for his love of the joke about Mulya. He could not resist and repeated it, pinning the Order of Lenin to Ranevskaya's chest, to which he received an angry rebuke: "Leonid Ilyich, that's what either boys or hooligans call me!" “Forgive me, but I love you very much,” the secretary general was embarrassed.

2. Against pathos

Phrase: "Under each peacock's tail lurks a chicken ** pa"
This aphorism is perhaps the most famous among the statements of Ranevskaya: “Under the most beautiful peacock's tail, the most ordinary chicken ** pa is hidden. So less pathos, gentlemen!"

Few people succeeded in expressing their attitude to life, to colleagues and to oneself in such a way. By the way, recently, during another Twitter scandal, this expression was made to the TV presenter Ksenia Sobchak, who had previously used Ranevskaya's aphorism about pionEras to journalists. In general, with the help of the exchange of apt phrases by Faina Georgievna, a new round of a loud quarrel between Sobchak and the paparazzi was avoided. At least for now.

3. About freedom of choice

Phrase: "Everyone is free to dispose of his ** sing as he wants"
In general, Faina Georgievna's obscene word of four letters was one of her favorites. Once she answered a certain meticulous journalist: “I'm not ashamed of Mata. And in my lexicon my favorite word is "** pa", not "excellent."

Ranevskaya proved this at a party meeting in the theater, where one of the actors, suspected of homosexual relationships, was ardently branded for behavior unworthy of a Soviet art worker. “Everyone is free to dispose of his ** sing as he wants, - said the artist. - So I raise mine, and have *! ".

4.With criticism for life

Phrase: "You know, my dear, what is shit? ... So, it is jam compared to my life."
So Ranevskaya summed up. Until a ripe old age, she remained in demand in cinema and theater, the roles created for her, including episodic ones, were quoted and loved by the Soviet audience. At the same time, the quarrelsome nature led to the fact that Faina Georgievna lived completely alone - not counting her beloved mongrel named Boy and the Siamese cat Tiki.

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya is a Soviet actress, called the queen of the background. Almost all of her film roles were fleeting. She only briefly appeared on the screen, but Ranevskaya remained in the hearts of the audience forever. Her catch phrases and aphorisms went "to the people", not having time to fly off the language of the actress. Snappy, witty, sometimes beyond the bounds of decency - they are still in demand today.

Faina Ranevkaya was born in Taganrog, back in 1896. When she turned 19, the girl went to conquer Moscow. However, she was not taken to the theater school, citing the fact that Ranevskaya did not have talent. Faina Georgievna was not particularly upset, and entered another private school. She spent the next nineteen years on the stage, changing several theaters. The actress came to the cinema when she was 38 years old.

It is not known why such a talented actress never got the long-awaited leading role for all her time in the cinema. But the audience immediately fell in love with the charismatic and witty actress. They waited with bated breath for her appearance on the screen, and then the expressions of her heroines were actively involved in the conversation at any opportunity.

Faina Georgievna had funny and witty phrases for literally any occasion. Whatever worries you - politics, appearance, grumpy spouse, annoying guests, dull health, lack of attention - the winged will become a real medicine. They will make you smile and remember that our life is not colored with one gray color, but shines with all the shades of the rainbow.

Ranevskaya gave out funny phrases when giving interviews, communicating with colleagues, friends and fans. It is interesting that the actress never used templates, did not think over her speech and did not prepare for sparkling humor. Funny phrases were always born spontaneously.

Other expressions became winged, flying off the lips of the character played by Ranevskaya. The most popular saying of that time was "Mulya, don't make me nervous!" This phrase was shouted by the children at the sight of the actress, but it was often recalled by journalists and friends of Faina Georgievna. Even Brezhnev did not ignore this catch phrase, awarding Ranevskaya with the Order of Lenin.

Ranevskaya was witty not only on stage, but also in everyday life. Her funny expressions helped to cope with the frustration. For example, once Faina Georgievna went on a trip.
At the station, she sighed and told her family:
- Eh, it's a pity they didn't take the piano with us.
“Not funny at all,” the annoyed relatives replied.
- Of course, it's not funny, - Ranevskaya agreed. - I left all the tickets on the piano lid.

The actress gave parting words to her guests:
- When you are at my door, knock your feet.
- But why with your feet? - future visitors were surprised.
- How else? Are you going to come to me empty-handed?

A sense of humor and a sharp mind helped the actress not only cope with everyday difficulties, but also without losing dignity to respond to rudeness. Once, on a crowded street, Faina Georgievna was pushed by a passer-by. Without even apologizing, the unpleasant man with extremely vulgar words expressed to Ranevskaya his dissatisfaction with the fact that she was hindering his movement.

However, the lady quickly found the answer:
- What a pity that today I cannot stoop to your level and answer you in the same words. However, I hope that when you get home, your mother will run out from behind the fence and bite you properly.

The brilliant actress did not live a month before her 88th birthday. Few know that the surname under which Faina Georgievna gained popularity and popular love is a pseudonym that she took in her youth, replacing her surname Feldman. Why did the young Faina choose this option? The new surname was taken from the play "The Cherry Orchard". Thus, the aspiring actress wanted to pay tribute to her fellow countryman - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.

Despite her giftedness and talent, she was lonely all her life. But we still use her best catch phrases and expressions. And it is likely that even our children will remember and use those funny and witty aphorisms that have become part of our folklore thanks to Faina Ranevskaya.

When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna overheard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the painting did not impress him. Ranevskaya noted:

This lady, for so many centuries, made the impression on such people that now she herself had the right to choose whom to impress her and who not!

God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men

This ass is called "ass-play".

Which women, in your opinion, are inclined to be more fidelity brunette or blonde? "

Without hesitation, she answered: "Gray-haired!"

Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?

Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the rip in her skirt)

The critics are Amazons in menopause.

When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.

With such an ass you have to stay at home!

To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - She usually replied: "No, I just look like that."

What I'm doing? I'm feigning health.

I feel, but bad.

Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.

If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.

Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.

Old age is when it is not bad dreams that disturb you, but bad reality.

I'm like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs me, but it's a pity to throw it away.

Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.

It's scary when you are eighteen inside, when you admire the beautiful music, poetry, painting, and you have to go, you didn’t have time to do anything, but you are just starting to live!

My God, as life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.

Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.

When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."

Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.

Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine is used for tests.

The money has been eaten, but the shame remains. (About his works in cinema)

Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.

When I am not given a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.

I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.

I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ...

I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.

I have lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.

This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!

Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.

How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors.

We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after that Ostrovsky!

I receive letters: "Help to become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"

Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

He will die from expanding fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)

Pee-pee in a tram - everything he did in art.

I don't recognize the word "play." You can play cards, at races, checkers. You have to live on stage.

The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, - demands the capricious young actress.

Everything will be real, - Ranevskaya soothes her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.

All my life I have been swimming in the toilet with the butterfly style.

I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with an oar. You can touch me in the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and brass panties, into which all the Octobrists are trying to get in. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished with so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.

The companion of glory is loneliness.

You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.

I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.

Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really does love? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the cinema, too, Gangsters.

In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my chintz dresses cause widespread bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private houses. Everyone is saddened by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.

Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.

Damn nineteenth century, damn parenting: can't stand when men are sitting.

Life goes by and does not bow like an angry neighbor.

Spelling mistakes in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.

A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.

I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.

The family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.

Let it be a little gossip that must disappear between us.

I don't come across faces, but a personal insult.

So that we can see how much we overeat, our belly is located on the same side as our eyes.

A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.

It was always incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.

Do you understand my shallow thought?

A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.

Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and the memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.

You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized: big trouble awaits us. (About Lenin)

This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that has been lowered there.

"You will not believe, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except the groom."

- "Are you bragging, dear, or are you complaining?"

An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced dramas because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: she was crying because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "the victim of Hera Sima."

Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?

This is obvious because there are very few blind men, and a dime a dozen stupid men.

How many times does a woman blush in her life?

Four times: on their wedding night, when he cheats on her husband for the first time, when he takes money for the first time, when he gives money for the first time.

And the man?

Two times: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.

Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.

It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.

It's not funny, - one of the accompanying remarks.

Really silly, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that

I left all the tickets on the piano.

Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Mossovet, where she worked

Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya (and with whom she had a far from cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: “Faina Georgievna,

You have devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting! " “That's what I have

feeling like I'm full of shit! " - retorted Ranevskaya.

Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.

How did you define it?

Two sat on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror, - explained Faina Georgievna.

Walking down the street, Ranevskaya was pushed by some man, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:

For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you get home, your mother will jump out of the doorway and bite you properly.

The actors discuss at a troupe meeting a comrade who is accused of homosexuality:

"This is molestation of youth, this is a crime"

My God, an unhappy country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.

"Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions," Ranevskaya strictly explains: "There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet."

Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:

"Because white makes you look fat."

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I have never cheated on my husband because I never had one, Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist.

So, the journalist is not lagging behind, it means that you have absolutely no shortcomings?

In general, no, Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.

True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!

On July 19, an outstanding actress Faina Ranevskaya died. Viewers remember her not only from wonderful films, but also from sparkling quotes. We recalled the most popular statements of Faina Ranevskaya.

About women and about love

"God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men."

Which women do you think tend to be more loyal as brunette or blonde? Without hesitation, she answered: "Gray-haired!"

“Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs? "

"Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!" (Looking at the rip in her skirt)

“- You will not believe, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except the groom. "Are you boasting, dear, or are you complaining?"

“The only other half is in the brain, in the ass and in the pill. And I was intact from the beginning. "

“A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband. "

"The Critics - Amazons in Menopause."

"Why are all fools such women?"

About health

To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - She usually replied: "No, I just look like that."

"What I'm doing? I'm simulating health. "

"I feel, but bad."

"Health is when every day you have pain in a different place."

"If the patient really wants to live, the doctors are powerless."

"Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it."

About work

“I’m an opening for money, but shame will remain” - Ranevskaya's response to an offer to star in a film. ”

"Doing a bad movie is like spitting into eternity."

"When I am not given a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off."

"I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage."

“I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! .. "

"I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito."

"This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!"

"Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one."

"How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors."

I receive letters: "Help to become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"

"Pee-pee in a tram - everything he did in art."

“I don’t recognize the word“ play ”. You can play cards, at races, checkers. You have to live on stage. "

About life

"The companion of glory is loneliness."

"You have to live so that you are remembered by the bastards."

"Life goes by and does not bow like an angry neighbor."

"Optimism is a lack of information."

About myself

“All my life I have been swimming in the toilet with the butterfly style.”

"I was smart enough to live my life stupidly."

“- Faina Georgievna, how are you? - You know, darling, what shit is? So it is, in comparison with my life - jam. "

"Damn nineteenth century, damn upbringing: I can't stand when the men are sitting."

"I am like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away."

"I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples."

"My funeral belongings" - said Faina Georgievna about her awards