For expectant mother 

How to freshen up your relationship with some actionable tips. The best ways to shake things up. Which scenario to choose

Instructions

Start over. Remember when your relationship as soon as you saw your beloved, you forgot about everything in the world and enjoyed communication with your friend. Try to concentrate on your spouse, look at him with different eyes. After crossing the threshold of the house, leave all problems outside the door. Don't talk or think about work, turn off your mobile. Even if you have a responsible job, you should be at home, not the boss. Have dinner together, take your time, and talk about pleasant topics.

Experiment, and your passion will definitely wake up, the main thing is to wake it up!

Related Videos

The relationship between a man and a woman has undergone major changes over time. Habit replaces falling in love. Romantic feelings are superseded by everyday problems. People can still hold hands, but their eyes are no longer trying to catch each other's gaze.

Instructions

The extinction of a marriage relationship is simply inevitable. This is how the human psyche works. You have a desire for something new and unknown. Very often this leads to the breakdown of the family. To avoid this, it is necessary to bring something warm, pleasant and interesting to both spouses into the relationship. Unfortunately, a fairly large number of men see romance, first of all, exclusively in sex. Routine in bed kills them. In addition, if your spouse is already 40 or more years old, this component of family life becomes especially important for him. That is why the representatives of the stronger sex have mistresses. They want to feel like real domineering men. Make him feel powerful and tireless during love joys, and he will move mountains for you.

Try to add more flirting to your spousal communication. You are a woman, you are adorable. Make eyes for your husband. Remember how you looked at him after your first kiss. Living together for a long time has made both of you predictable for each other. Bring back the riddle that he thinks he has solved long ago. After that, most likely, your partner will again have interest and former passion.

Try to spend as much time together as possible. Men are often difficult to climb, it is not so easy to tear them away from their favorite chair. Whisper in his ear about what a magical night awaits him after a walk, going to the cinema, or visiting a restaurant. Feel free to pay attention to it in public. You don't have to automatically take it by the arm. Hug your lover, put his hand on your waist (if he doesn't figure it out himself), touch his leg under the restaurant table. Seduction of your own husband is not easy, but the reward for this will certainly be the most pleasant.

Look at your photos, videos together (the recording of your wedding ceremony will be inappropriate here). Remember with him the emotions that you experienced then. Tell him about your impressions of the first bouquet he gave you. Remember or come up with some of your own secret from that time. Saturate your family life with fun and relaxation.

Try to forget the grievances that you probably have accumulated a lot over the years. It is known that a woman forgives everything, but does not forget anything, but you still try to make an effort on yourself.

If you are a man who needs to do everything in order to return feelings and emotions to your family, it will be much easier for you to do this. Start again giving gifts and bouquets to your beloved wife, invite her on dates, shower with compliments, then you will be assured of success.

When a candy-bouquet period passes in love, one must not forget to refresh one's relationship with a loved one so that spending time together does not turn into a habit. To do this, you need to make surprises for each other. How to surprise your loved one?

Instructions

Tell someone dear to your heart about your love in different languages ​​of the world! The sentence "I love you!" write in large letters with a felt-tip pen on separate stickers, in the languages ​​of all the peoples of the planet and decorate the walls of his room with them.

Your beloved girl will be pleasantly surprised if you show originality when presenting a gift. To do this, take a sheet of Whatman paper and roll it up with a pipe, and fill the empty space with gifts. Next, buy gift paper and wrap it in a roll. Tie the resulting bundle on the sides with bright ribbons. So we got a big candy with a “tasty” filling! The inscription will add heartiness to the gift: "Candy for my beloved!"

If you decide to propose to the girl, go to a floristry salon or flower shop and order a bouquet consisting of eight large live roses and one artificial one. Deep in the bouquet, place a note with the following words: "My only one, I will love you with all my heart until the petals fall from the last rose of this bouquet!"

When a young man proposes to his beloved, he gives her a ring. Delight your bride, present her with a golden ring in a chocolate case! Sprinkle the scented case on top with caramel glitter!

Make a deal with buddies your friend doesn't know. Buy 4-5 lush bouquets of flowers, hide love notes inside. Imagine a situation: in the evening your girlfriend goes home from work, and all the way men come up to her and hand over flowers with a smile!

Arrange in advance with your friends so that they will take turns calling your beloved from different phone numbers and reciting love poems. Before reading the poetry, ask them to breathe in helium. It is advisable that you are not near the participants of the drawing at the moment!

Ask your friends or colleagues at the agreed time to send an SMS to a dear person with the following text: "He (a) is very!". Be at the moment close to your soul mate to rejoice at the received surprise together!

If your life partner is leaving on a long business trip, in the last minutes before separation, hand him a valuable photo album, where family photos will be replaced with descriptions of the happiest moments of marriage!

If your husband has an anniversary or birthday, please him with a certificate for the fulfillment of desires ... Be prepared for the fact that any desire of your beloved spouse will need to be fulfilled!

Buy a massive goblet or a gold medal from the gift shop (naturally, not of precious metal!). Ask the master to engrave the following inscription: "To the winner who won my heart!"

note

You don't need to have a lot of tools to surprise your loved one. Sometimes it's enough to have a few friends and use a little imagination.

Hello everyone. I'm in a playful mood today, so catch it!

I hope everything is going well: you are not tired at work of envious colleagues who are always poking their noses into their personal life, you are not tired of silly quarrels with your husband about the fact that he again did not notice a perfectly cleaned apartment and a gorgeous dinner on the table, and of course , I really don't want to hide away from children who are crying every now and then, begging for a new toy (it doesn't matter - a barbie doll or a new playstation), you don't get tired, you must be happy with life 24/7, otherwise everything that you are will collapse built with such painstaking work! Do you think so?

You are a woman, not a robot, you have the right to emotions and if you think that everything is going wrong, it's time to start working on it! Are you dissatisfied with your relationship with your husband? It's time to make adjustments. He probably already forgot how he ran after you at the very beginning of the relationship. Forgot?

Years have passed, now the spouse knows for sure - you will not go anywhere and there is no difference - he notices the new underwear from Vasya Italiano or equates it with the shapeless nightie that you wore after giving birth.

- What am I supposed to do? - You ask.

As you may have guessed, today we'll talk about how to refresh your relationship with your husband.

First, let's figure it out, but how was it before? Remember. If your husband initially did not pay attention and did not help much, and you got married solely because of a child or your first short-term love, then waiting for everything to change is a little wrong. But you can try. Who will forbid us?
The situation looks quite different when a few years earlier your husband carried you in his arms and kissed your feet, and now he suddenly lost interest. If this is the case, my advice will certainly help.

Change yourself. Yes, undoubtedly, we all know that the main thing in a person is the soul, and love is able to see it even through the prism of inconceivable, and sometimes disgusting, flaws. But I do not believe in it one hundred percent: after all, a man loves with his eyes (we women love to listen, and men to look at).

And even if a young man lives with a woman who is far from beauty standards, every day talks about love and "no, you haven't gotten fat, dear" he is still a secret, sometimes, when his wife is not there, he will dream of a fatal stripper who wants him tame.


Wait! No need to get upset! None of us looks like the charming Angelina Jolie and does not spin on a pole like Charlize Theron (okay, there was a case, and not so).

The main thing is to create the appearance of an ideal (here it is, our secret, our weapon). And the first thing we need to do:

  • Change the image (If you used to be sexy and relaxed, now it's time to play a little naive virgin. Can you do it? I have no doubt that yes!)
  • Become more self-confident. Of course, many people find this with great difficulty, it takes years to finally say: "Yes, I am the queen!" However, do your best, because a confident woman, even if she is not Miss Universe, has a hundred times more chances of bewitching a man for a notorious beauty.

Touch your partner. Psychologists have confirmed: the more often the spouses touch each other, the stronger their affection arises and the more, of course, the sex is brighter.


Sex, by the way, has an important role in a couple: spouses should understand that if one of them cannot give his partner in sex what he needs, he will either start to get angry and find fault with everyday trifles, or sooner or later will leave for another partner.

Of course, you don’t have to grab a man for his “closest friend” for no reason whatsoever in order to strengthen your relationship (although, perhaps, he will like it). Better take his hand, run your hand over his cheek, hug, etc. Just show with your touch all the tenderness that you have.

Spend more time with a man, look for common interests. Do you live together, but hardly see each other, because everyone is busy with their work? Stop! Set aside at least one day for the two of you.

You know that the closer a person is on an emotional level and the more topics for conversation you have, the sooner you will become best friends for each other again, which is undoubtedly important in a relationship between two people. And yes, that means sharing his interests too. So what that tanks. And killing zombies is generally cool.


Moving from theory to practice

I hope you really learned the three tips above, because now you have to memorize new ones, and only then try to apply them with your husband (o-la-la!). And even if he's just your boyfriend, these tips are great.

  1. Go on a date. You have been living together for a long time and to go on a date (especially to invite), as you think, is a very stupid decision. Maybe there is some truth in this, but what difference does it make if the method is effective! Go to a movie or theater. The impressions of what they saw will be shared by two, which will be the first step towards a new friendship between the spouses. A picnic in the park, as well as the place where you met, would be a good decision for a date (unless it's a nightclub toilet!
  2. Admire. No one argues that you admire your man all the time, but perhaps he doesn't even know about it! It is important for many men to feel their strength and importance. Even if your Schwarzenegger is not that jock, you still need to show him that he is the strongest for you. Yes, I know, now you are mad and you think: "Why should I create the appearance of something that does not exist in reality? Let him swing, so that I would call him strong!" You don't have to do that, but if you want to improve your relationship, you should at least try!
    Affectionately ask to open a jar of jam (even if before that you regularly opened it yourself), bring the packages, help to deal with this or that task, and for each case, be sure to praise.
  3. Don't be angry if he gave a frying pan instead of the manicure set you so diligently hinted about on March 8th. Rejoice anyway, and after a couple of days say directly that you would be happy if he gave you a manicure set. (Girls, it works flawlessly! Shhhhh!)
  4. Talk. You are frankly annoyed that he does not understand why you are offended, although it should be obvious! You continue to keep quiet in spite of your enemies, despite the fact that your beloved has already asked 10 times: "what happened?" Silence breaks, you proudly answer: - Nothing. And you wait for an apology. And he, taking the answer for the truth, turns on the TV. Looks like the truth, right? With men, the "guess it yourself" method, alas, does not work. And not because my husband is so bad - he guessed, but does not want to apologize. No. He really doesn't understand what is wrong. An honest conversation will not only solve the bulk of the problems between you, but also bring you closer. Just speak, please, calmly, otherwise the man will not listen to the claims, as if I say
  5. Make a gift. The fact that men are indifferent to gifts is the same myth as the one that women do not like sex. Are not indifferent! At all! Even a small symbolic gift will improve his mood. He may not show it, but he will definitely be glad, because men are like children. Buy him something that he has dreamed of for a long time, while with an obvious peculiarity - a funny phrase or a little thing that means a lot to the two of you
  6. Get the pictures. You have already forgotten how much you have overcome and endured together. Be nostalgic. Open the photos, remember the stories that happened to you
  7. Get a massage. Massage is a good way to relax and also feel a special bond with your partner. It's no secret that a good massage brings a lot of pleasure to the person to whom it is being done, and even if you do not know special techniques, your partner will surely appreciate the pleasant touching and stroking
  8. Sex. Well, sex is just a space for experimentation! Even if you are already not a mistake: you practice new techniques and are happy to give your partner pleasure, there will still be something that you have not tried. For example: sex in a public place, sex using various toys and devices, sex in the water, on the beach, in the forest, anywhere and whatever. Try different poses, do not be afraid to experiment, turn on the pleasure to the fullest. Let orgasms erase all grievances!


My husband and I overcame the coldness in our relationship with the help of things that are associated with dear memories, as well as with the help of new, unexplored facets of our relationship. Of course, I did not work on the relationship alone, my husband was also interested in participating in the process and changing the old to the new. He believes that without the participation of both partners, nothing will work out, a relationship is the work of two, namely two, so no matter how purposeful, viable, gentle and affectionate you are, there will be no sense from this if the man is not interested.

My friend, Dima, 37 years old (for others - Dmitry Sergeevich), has his own
male view of this situation. Dima says: "Only a man should work on relationships!" A sort of slogan he has: "I said - I did!". But Dima is also wrong. Without the desire of his partner to establish contact, Dima will have the same porridge as women who work on family relationships alone.

So now you know what you can do to fill your life together with exciting adventures, but I would like to give you two more small tips.

MENSBY

4.6

Why does passion pass in a relationship? How to add spice and brightness to a romantic connection? Is it possible to return the feeling of newness after several years of married life? Is there a way to improve the quality of intimate relationships?

1. Look at relationships from a different angle.

As a rule, the fiery feelings that we experience at the beginning of a relationship sooner or later begin to fade away, and after a few years they disappear completely. Why is this happening? The fact is that in the first months of our acquaintance we still do not know our partner well enough, we are fascinated by a separate, independent person who has his own secrets and mysteries, and we are trying to penetrate his special world.

Then the distance gets smaller and smaller. The novelty, excitement, anticipation and fragility that fueled our passion is replaced by stability. Relationships no longer develop, it begins to seem to us that we know absolutely everything about the other person. And this is the beginning of a family tragedy for decades.

Reliability, trust and closeness are nice, but without some uncertainty, we get bored. That is why you need to change something in your own perception and look at the relationship in a different way.

Bring experimentation, play, and flirting into your life together. Do not drive your partner into established patterns once and for all: he is still full of secrets and changes a little every day. Try to see him as an attractive stranger.

Never dissolve in another person so as not to lose yourself. Everyone has the right to their own hobbies, secrets, freedom and personal space. And this is the only way to stay interesting for each other.

2. Do not give your child all the strength

Often people complain that with the advent of a child, romance and passion leave the relationship, because young parents begin to spend all their free time on the baby, and not on each other.

But the point is not at all the birth of a new family member, but the fact that most modern couples cultivate children. You may be surprised, but you do not need to spend all your energy just to satisfy every whim of the child. Our ancestors would never have thought of running around their children as we do!

Try to find at least a few hours each week that you can devote only to your partner - and to no one else. Make a date at a restaurant or theater, or take a walk in the park. In these minutes, do not think about any family problems: just enjoy each other.

3. Understand your partner's desires

Sex and love are completely different things and should not be confused. In love, emotional closeness, support, tenderness are important to us, and in the field of the erotic, many people expect something completely different: aggression, domination (or submission), satisfaction of selfish desires. By the way, there is nothing wrong here, on the contrary: in sex it is necessary to be selfish, surrender to the process and not think about responsibility at this moment.

However, people do not always understand that their expectations may differ from those of their partner. For example, for someone, an erotic connection is another manifestation of quivering love, while someone needs completely different emotions in bed. So that all this does not lead to discord in intimate life, it is necessary to understand each other's desires.

To do this, you can do a simple exercise. Each partner will need a piece of paper divided into two columns. In the first, you need to write down all the associations with the word "love", and in the second - with the word "sex". This helps to separate love from bed, to understand your own erotic desires and compare them with the expectations of the beloved.

4. Learn to manage stress

If you are overwhelmed by typical modern problems, then almost everything will take priority over sex: for your brain, any stress is a lion running at you. And what kind of sex is there if the lion is getting closer?

Stress is directly related to the struggle to survive. Sex has many benefits, but it certainly does not directly contribute to personal survival. Therefore, for most of us in a state of stress, all the brakes work at once.

To reduce the effect of stress on the ability to have sexual pleasure and, in general, interest in sex, so that sex becomes more pleasant, easy, playful, learn to manage stress.

The key to effective stress management is to end the stress cycle: get out of a state of inhibition, run away from a predator, or kill an enemy and rejoice.

Let's think about what behavior the body will perceive as salvation from the lion. If a lion is running at you, what will you do? Try to escape, of course. So if work (or sex) is stressful, what should you do? Run ... or walk, or dance, at least shut up in the bedroom, or work out on the simulator. Physical activity is the most effective way to complete the stress response cycle. It helps bring the central nervous system into balance.

Scientists believe there are other ways to feel better. These include sleep; any form of meditation, including mindfulness practice, yoga, body scans. And sometimes it is harmless to cry and scream properly.

5. Build Confidence-Based Attachment

Without going into details, two styles of attachment can be characterized: one based on confidence or one based on insecurity.

Insecurity-based attachment is associated with one of two strategies: avoidance and anxiety.

Confidence-based attachment:

I feel comfortable sharing my most personal thoughts and feelings with my partner.
I rarely worry about my partner leaving me.
I feel comfortable in the closest possible relationship with my partner.
I am happy to ask my partner for help.

Attachment combined with anxiety

I'm worried that my partner will stop loving me.
I often worry that my partner will not want to stay with me.
I often worry that my partner doesn't love me.
I worry that my partner is not as serious about me as I am about him.

Affection combined with avoidance

I prefer not to show my deepest feelings to my partner.
It's hard for me to allow myself to rely on a partner and seriously depend on him.
I feel uncomfortable opening up in front of my partner.
I prefer not to close the distance with my partner too much.

If attachment is formed in conjunction with anxiety, then you learn to deal with the risk that the object of attachment may leave you by clinging to him or her tightly. People who have formed attachment combined with avoidance compensate for the risk of the attachment being abandoned by trying not to become seriously attached to anyone.

Now try to guess which type gets the most satisfaction from sex: those who build attachment based on confidence, or those who combine attachment with anxiety or avoidance? Of course, those with confidence-based attachments are much more satisfied with their sex life (and relationships in general).

6. Become self-sufficient

In most couples, sooner or later, one person begins to love more and the other less and less. The good news is that if you want, you can change this situation and achieve harmony.

The “weak” (the one who loves more strongly) is convinced that his unwavering love and admiration will bring the couple closer together, although more and more evidence suggests otherwise. Fear of a breakup determines a person's behavior, fetters him, makes him behave unnaturally. It becomes immediately obvious how desperately the “weak” one needs his partner, and this prevents the restoration of relations.

Probably the most pernicious in the fear of parting is that a person clings to a loved one with a stranglehold, not allowing himself to do anything outside the framework of this union. The addict's best chance to strengthen the relationship is to try to redirect their emotional energy to something else. This does not mean that you should stop loving your partner or feign impregnability. You just have to try to put your own life in order.

Reduce pressure on your loved one and figure out how to get stronger yourself. Work on rebuilding your personality out of touch with relationships. Arrange dinners, go to the movies with your friends, go shopping, travel, read interesting books, attend lectures. To get started, just ask yourself the following questions:

What activities gave me pleasure before meeting my chosen one?

What are my personal goals outside of this relationship?

What is my social life outside of this relationship?

What are my strengths?

7. Stop pleasing your partner

The most common panic response to a relationship crisis is overly dependent and obsequious behavior. However, you have a great way out: learn to notice your reflex reactions of the "weak" and resist them. To develop this useful ability, make a list of your most frightening and common addictive behavior reflexes, for example:

I always agree with a partner;

I never show him my resentment and anger;

I call him and stop at his office every time I feel jealous or insecure;

I always try to be more helpful and kind to please him;

I always do what he wants, even if I don't feel like it myself.

Prepare to monitor the unwanted reflexes of the "weak", and then dissuade yourself from the actions prompted by them. Over time, you will become so accustomed to monitoring your reactions that you will easily suppress them. As you learn to control overreaction and reflex behavior, your thoughts will become clear and the impulses to act like "weak" will subside.

8. Love your body

The tendency to dislike and criticize one's own body is so characteristic of Western culture that most do not even understand how harmful it is and how widespread it is at the same time.

In 2012, 57 different studies were summed up, which had been conducted over twenty years, and it turned out that there are strong connections between attitudes towards one's own body and various manifestations of sexual behavior: arousal, desire, and orgasm are determined by attitudes towards one's own body. frequency of having sex, and self-assessment as a sexual partner.

A person will not be completely satisfied with his sex life if he does not feel complete and unconditional satisfaction with his body. To have sex more often and better, you need to learn to love your body.

Try to undress - or take off at least some of your clothes - and examine your body in the mirror. Write down everything you see and what you like. Of course, first of all, your brain will be filled with self-criticism and disgust that have been accumulating there for many years. Do not forget that on the day you were born, your body delighted everyone around you, you were loved unconditionally and unconditionally. This can be repeated today.

Let all self-criticism go away, stop scolding yourself, notice only what you like. Do this exercise over and over again - at least every day, if possible.

Learn to ignore bouts of self-criticism and negative judgmental thoughts, and focus on thoughts that express empathy for yourself. And gradually it will become easier for you to appreciate and love your body as it deserves, to treat it with respect and love.

9. Even less self-criticism!

We constantly criticize ourselves: "I am so stupid / fat / abnormal", "I am a failure", "I am not capable of anything." But self-criticism is closely related to depression; Does depression contribute to harmony in relationships and improve the sexual side of your life? No, it doesn't.

We need to learn to show ourselves compassion and understanding in any situation: when we are successful, and when something does not work out for us. To do this, you need to drown out the voice of the inner critic and stop evaluating yourself.

Try the following exercise to help increase your self-compassion.

1. Write down the situation for which you criticize and punish yourself. Any example can be used, from sexual or romantic relationships (or lack thereof) to events at work. Be sure to write down any harsh critical thoughts that are spinning in your head and haunt you.

2. At the top of the sheet, write the name of your close friend (girlfriend) and pretend that he or she is sharing with you the problem you just described. Imagine that he is asking you for help, and write down what you tell him. Try to show maximum sympathy and support, stay calm.

3. Now read all the tips. They are, of course, not for a friend, but for you.

The short takeaway from this exercise is: Never tell yourself what you wouldn’t tell your best friend.

10. Develop the plot

Here are a couple of ideas that research has found will help "move the story" in relationships that have already entered the "happily ever after" phase.

Strategy 1: Anything that speeds up your heart rate. Try to do activities that speed up your heart rate. Ride the rides, go on long walks in the wilderness, watch scary movies, go to huge concerts or political rallies, argue for hours about science. Do whatever is exciting to you, whatever literally makes your heart beat faster. You experience general excitement, the brain notices this excitement, notices the person next to you and thinks: "Yeah, it seems that this person is really interesting!"

Strategy 2: meaningful obstacles. To strengthen your connection and deepen your contact, seek new experiences and opportunities to overcome meaningful obstacles together. Play out a sexual fantasy that you have wanted to try for a long time, but did not find the courage in yourself. Turn on the lights - not to put on a show, but to open your eyes and look each other in the face. Make contact. Take a chance and immerse yourself in trust. Set an important goal for yourself, to achieve which you will have to put in efforts as a couple.

Based on materials from the books "Reproduction in captivity", "The paradox of passion" and "As a woman wants."

Business, worries, fatigue - all this, alas, affects the relationship of the spouses. We console ourselves with the fact that it happens to everyone. “This is life,” we think, “we are calm and good with each other, and this is the main thing.” This is really the main condition, but sometimes you really want your husband to look at you with loving eyes again. So why aren't we trying to fix the situation? Some argue that it is impossible, but to be honest, this is a deep misconception. In fact, we have all the tools to revive old feelings. The main thing is to learn how to use them correctly.

We define the problem

Relationships need to be worked on, but both should be interested in this. Women in such situations make contact much easier than men. The latter, as a rule, are not ready to talk out loud about family problems. Even with my wife. Such conversations, in their opinion, are nothing more than "a hateful and senseless clarification of relations." But there is one trick: if you invite your husband to talk about your future together, he is likely to respond.


Passion and sexuality are different for everyone. Astrologers are sure - it depends on which element your zodiac sign belongs to.

Men are known to love planning, so such a conversation can become the starting point for developing a "new relationship strategy". It is with this, by the way, that psychotherapists usually begin to work with couples in which only one of the spouses is interested in preserving the family.

Sit down together at the table, grab a sheet of paper and a pen, and talk about how you see your future in a year, 5 and 10 years from now. How do you want to live? Where do you dream of resting? What do you want to devote your free time to? Write down desires, alternating points: one is yours, the next is your husband's. As a result, both of you will understand the common goals, and the degree of acceptance of each other, and problem areas on which you need to work a little.

❤Advice: Offer each other help (ways to better write) in realizing the desires of each of you. At the same time, it is not necessary to “share” dreams and want the same. The main thing is to establish emotional communication. Planning together the events that can make each of you (albeit individually) a little happier is both inspiring and rewarding. This list is your foundation for a good future together.


Women often dream by imagining various romantic situations. These thoughts can tell a lot about our subconscious.

Looking for romance

Try to do so that most of your joint affairs give both positive emotions. This will help you feel again that you still enjoy spending time together. Try to find a new shared activity that builds on your interactions. You can run together in the mornings, go to lectures after work, go together to learn a foreign language or buy different board games and have fun on weekends - there are a lot of options. An important clarification: do not expect romantic acts from a man.

This is your diocese: if you want - arrange "home dates", but keep in mind: these are just attributes of romance, but not its essence. The point is precisely in the joint pleasure that such cooperation brings.

❤ Advice: If you can't choose a lesson, start with ... massage. This is a great way to help each other relax and take a breath. Do it according to all the rules, master different techniques and regularly train on each other. Second option: reconstruction of the past. Re-watch movies you enjoyed early in the relationship, replay the first date, and more.

We light the fire

Our physiology is designed in such a way that we cannot endlessly experience passion for the same partner. This is an indisputable fact, and it is not at all necessary to put up with it. Nature has endowed us with will and intelligence, so we are quite able to "reanimate" attraction to each other.


Do you want to know intimate details about your chosen one? Take a closer look at the socks that the man chooses!

Many partners prefer to do this through fights: during scandals, a large amount of adrenaline and testosterone are released into the bloodstream, which really increase mutual desire. But often you should not use this "magic wand": sex will be forgotten, but offensive words are unlikely.

Better to provoke the "hormonal explosion" differently. For example, "changing impressions" is one of the most commonplace, but working methods. Write something on your schedule that you've never done in your life — the more extreme, the better. You can ride a roller coaster together, climb a climbing wall, etc. The goal of the adventure is to shake the two of you well.

❤ Tip: Do not overuse new experiences. One "feat" per month will be enough. This technique has a so-called cumulative effect: use it regularly and you will soon feel how your relationship has changed. And sexy as well.

Vector change

Different parts of the brain are responsible for falling in love and love. British scientists showed newly minted and long-lived wives and husbands photographs of "second halves". Young spouses, looking at images of partners, felt joy and excitement, while those who had been married for more than 10 years turned on the part of the brain responsible for tenderness and affection.

What's stopping love?

Inability to switch
Returning home from work, it is difficult to instantly turn into a gentle, empathetic and flirtatious wife. It is also not easy to transform into a "seducer" five minutes after you and the faithful have rolled cucumbers. In order to "flip the toggle switch", you need a pause: give yourself at least half an hour. You can take a walk after work, lie on the couch with a book, take a bath, chat with a friend on the phone - all these are simple, but very effective ways to help you "return to yourself."

Loss of intimacy
You live in harmony, but there is no real emotional connection between you for a long time. You have stopped (or never tried) talking about your feelings and desires: it is quite difficult to discuss them with a person whom you perceive exclusively as a relative. Start opening up! At first, you can just discuss films and books, TV shows, and then move on to more serious issues. Do not be lazy to talk to each other, there is no other way to get closer.

Bad sex
Discussing this out loud is quite difficult, but you can try to fix the situation without further ado. Start re-examining your sensuality together. Which is nice? How to touch you? And to her husband? Be attentive to each other, and both of you will discover new facets of pleasure.

Expert opinion

There is a fairly simple way to allow for long-established pairs. Agree that for several days you allow each other any kind of caress, while not touching the genitals. Your task is to achieve maximum sexual arousal and ... just go to bed. And so - 2-3 days. Believe me, on the fourth day, even partners who have been together for 20 years, the desire will become incredibly strong.

Scientifically

The phrase "Love lives for 3 years" has a scientific basis. Anthropologists came to the conclusion that during this time our ancestors could feed the offspring and teach them the basics of independence, so instincts did not allow partners to disperse before the expiration of this period. However, we have changed somewhat since primitive times, a three-year-old child is still helpless.

A new scientific discovery from America turned everything upside down: oxytocin, the hormone of love, is produced by contact with a partner for life!

Love is returned:

✓ Spontaneity. Hug, kiss, make love not "on schedule", but suddenly.

✓ Friendship. Get close to your husband in the same way as if he was an interesting new acquaintance.

✓ Stress relief. There is no love without conflict. There is no need to provoke them out of the blue, but it is also not worth hushing up grievances and discontent. Be yourself, show your emotions.

Typical problems

✓ "We live like relatives"... In psychology, there is a concept of "incestuous relationship", when spouses eventually begin to perceive each other as brother and sister. There can be a great many reasons for this.

Another thing is important: how to break the formed stereotype of perception. Do not try to drastically change the situation, it will look fake. Try to mentally give yourself the setting: "I am a woman, he is my man." Then slowly begin to change your behavior. A small gift bought for him on the way home from work, a compliment (you look great today), a request to help you choose an outfit for a visit ... In a word, carefully, without haste, replace the usual interaction models with those that will obviously bring you more joy.

✓ "We have become strangers." People change. When you met, he had some interests, then, over time, they became completely different. How does your man live today? What does he think and dream about? If you can step over the feeling “I know him as flaky”, you will discover a “new” - a bright and interesting person. Which you will surely fall in love with.

Expert opinion

Valeria Aginskaya, Program Director of the Secrets Center for Sexual Education:

Shared meals are not candlelit dinners, but at least tea sandwiches are an important relationship tool. In the process of eating, we are complacent, so the dialogue is more open and emotional. We are constantly trying to find time to “chat” instead of just putting the phone down and looking each other in the eye.