How to survive in the same apartment with an alcoholic. What to do: how to live with an alcoholic husband - advice from a psychologist. Consider the main signs of this phenomenon

20.06.2020

Psychologists say that those who had at least a short time experienced stress similar to that experienced by people during military operations. A drunken person brings severe suffering to loved ones.

Some believe that the problem of alcoholism is typical only for our country. But, unfortunately, it can be called a global disaster.

The women's site "Beautiful and Successful" decided to devote a separate page to the urgent, sore question of how to live with an alcoholic husband.

Life with a drunkard: features and dangers

In Soviet times, alcoholic husbands were pulled by many women. They worked tirelessly, raised their children on their own, constantly saved on themselves, hid money from their ever-drunk spouse, cried at night and grew old early. But a rare Soviet wife decided to divorce. Most just adapted to exist in the hardest psychological atmosphere and hoped that their children would be happy.

Only now, time has shown that the sacrifices of mothers were in vain: often children who grew up in such an unhealthy atmosphere repeated either the mistakes of the mother or the delusion of the father ...

The crippled psyche of a child is one of the most terrible consequences of living with an eternally drunk father. It is about the fate of her children that a woman should first of all think about when deciding whether she should live with her alcoholic husband.

It should be added that the crippled life of children is not the only sacrifice that a woman may have to pay for her love for a drinker. Alas, drunkard will take away her beauty, youth and health.

Alcoholics can promise their wives to quit throughout their lives, each time ask for forgiveness for the drunken salary, drunken brawl and bruises left on her body, but they never get better until a ripe old age.

For any woman wondering whether it is worth living with an alcoholic, the advice of a psychologist will be unequivocal and firm: NO!

Only, as you know, love is evil. And life's circumstances are even angrier. Sometimes a woman cannot divorce a drinking spouse because of her great love for him, but much more often a woman simply has nowhere to get away from an alcoholic. Therefore, she tries to adapt to difficult conditions and make them as tolerant as possible.

The site found out that the most persistent and resourceful women have invented several strategies for coping with the drunkard.

How to live with an alcoholic in the same apartment

Sharing one living space with an alcoholic is a hell of a torment. But what to do if there is no way out of the situation? After all, even after a woman sometimes has to share an apartment with him.

For example, if the family lives in a non-privatized dwelling that was provided to the spouse. Therefore, many wives, tired of fighting their husband's drunkenness, simply wave their hand at him and trying to learn how to survive next to him. Their practice shows that you need to live next to an alcoholic according to special rules:

In no case should you try to educate your husband when he is drunk. It is completely useless. Screaming, swearing, crying - all this can lead to the drunkenness falling into a rage. And then tragedy can happen. With a drunk, you need to talk in the most calm tone, not to contradict him. If he behaves aggressively, you need to try to get away from him somewhere until he falls asleep.
It is also impossible to create a comfortable environment for the husband to drink. Sometimes women who live with their alcoholic spouse rush to give their husband, suffering from, a pill for headache, run to the store for mineral water or beer for him. Thus, they want to show the faithful that they love and accept him under any circumstances, but their efforts give the opposite result: the man begins to feel like the king of the situation and simply takes advantage of the gentleness of his wife.
Any negotiations with a drinking husband should be conducted only when he comes out of the binge. Until he finally degrades, you can and should try to offer him your help and support in the fight against addiction. Fortunately, in our time there are many ways to treat alcoholism.
Some women, tired of washing their eternally drunk husband, give him the most separate room in the apartment, for example, the smallest room or even an insulated loggia, and equip this room in such a way that a drunk person can experience his binges there with minimal damage to family property. Answering the question of how to live with an alcoholic husband and not go crazy, many persistent spouses advise: hide the drunken scarecrow out of sight and let him be with the family after he becomes human again.
It is especially difficult for women who are raising small children to live with an alcoholic husband. If there is no way to leave an eternally drunk dad, you need to try to make the babies' contacts with him as rare and short as possible, that is, leave the house with them whenever possible.

Summarizing all of the above, we can conclude that it is impossible to live normally with an alcoholic. In a situation where the husband is deeply drinking, there are only two ways out: either help him to heal, or run away from him. The second option is usually chosen by uncompromising women.

But those who have made up their minds should definitely consult with a professional in the field of psychology.

It is almost impossible to help a person who is not aware of his illness. But if a man does not deny that he is sick, he can be treated. The main thing here is to persuade him to start fighting. The following techniques will help with this:

Open conversation... This is the simplest, but also the most ineffective way of influencing the consciousness of an alcoholic. And yet, one should start with a conversation. What specific arguments and arguments to give is up to a woman to decide. If she knows her man well, she will find something to hook him on. But in any case, the conversation should be based on the thought: “There is me, you and your disease. If you are with me, we will fight with her together. If you are with her - I cannot be near ”. Only by putting the husband in front of this tough choice, you can achieve a solution to the problem.
Shielding the husband from alcohol... If the spouse agreed, he needs to be helped to survive without alcohol. To do this, remove all alcoholic beverages from the house, deprive the spouse of the need to visit the store, if necessary, literally hide him from his drinking companions.
Visit to a specialist in narcology... Only a professional should treat the disease. Only a competent physician with extensive experience will be able to explain to his wife how to live properly with an alcoholic, and teach the patient himself to control himself.

I must say that many women, whose husbands are mired in drunkenness, try to heal their spouse in "magical" ways, visiting magicians and sorcerers. But practice shows that most often such unfortunate wives become victims of scammers, so you should not seek help from dubious individuals. In the same way, it makes no sense to treat a husband with drugs, pouring medicine into drinks without his knowledge. In order to defeat the disease, you need to admit its presence, unite efforts and do everything to bring the matter to the end.

Yes Yes - addicted people can give up alcohol and start living a normal life. Cases of the return of a drunken alcoholic to life occurred in almost any settlement.

But behind each such case there is a difficult work carried out by a woman who, most likely, showed steadfastness, rigidity and decisiveness in relation to the drunkard.

Our women are enduring, so each of those who decide to live with an alcoholic will certainly be able to be consistent, and strict, and loving at the same time. And yet psychologists advise them: when fighting your husband's illness, try not to get carried away too much, otherwise you will not notice how your whole life will fly by in these eternal battles ...

Women often turn to psychologists with the question: "My husband is an alcoholic, what should I do?"

The situation can get complicated aggressive behavior of men, and then the question arises, is it really worth further.

Why do men drink alcohol?

Alcohol consumption - ubiquitous problem, and men suffer from it more often.

Despite the obvious harm to health, the impact on performance, relationships with loved ones, they cannot quit the addiction.

The main reasons for drinking alcoholic beverages:

The desire to get away from reality in this way. Alcohol, as it were, overshadows problems, they are forgotten for a while, as the brain slows down, and the mind becomes clouded.
... If you have nothing to do in your free time, it means that this emptiness needs to be filled with something. Alcohol is the fastest and easiest way.
For company... Some begin to drink, falling into a certain circle of people, where leisure can not be separated from the use of alcohol.
Family problems... The reason is close to the first - a man simply tends not to notice what is happening next to him. Perhaps his wife is constantly “nagging” him, or he just has to live nearby.

Drunkard psychology

Alcoholism not only has a detrimental effect on physical health, but also changes the psyche, leads to personality degradation.

You will immediately recognize a person who has been drinking for a long time and regularly by their demeanor, conversation, reflections, and gait.

Drinking alcohol regularly affects all areas of human life- family, social, work. At the same time, alcoholics are well aware of the consequences of regular drinking, but they cannot stop.

Alcoholism contributes to developing the worst personality traits, which in the previous state were dozing or were not so pronounced.

If a person was prone to aggression, then after taking alcohol it manifests itself brightly, unexpectedly and sometimes dangerous for others.

People who drink are more prone to, they are strongly influenced. They often have an understated, pessimistic view of the world. Part of them have experienced traumatic events, that changed the psyche, for example, participation in hostilities.

Alcohol helps to relax and temporarily remove the feeling of discomfort. At the same time, regular use leads to worsening depression, the emergence of an asocial and immoral lifestyle.

Willpower finally disappears. The only desire is to drink, all the money earned goes to alcohol, despite the awareness of their plight.

Guidelines for diagnosis

Alcoholism does not develop immediately, it is necessary to reach the third stage before the complete degradation of the personality. but the alarm should be sounded at the first sign of alcoholism. When he says:

- I only use once a week.

- I get drunk sometimes with friends, is this alcoholism?

- I can quit at any time.

Standard Answers of the Beginning Alcoholic.

A man can come drunk from work almost every day, but at the same time not consider himself an alcoholic.

Attempts by the wife to pay attention to the regularity of drinking cause aggression.

Suspicion of alcoholism can be identified by the following questions:

Do you feel guilty about drinking alcoholic beverages?
Have you tried to stop drinking?
Do relatives criticize for systematic drunkenness?
Do you take alcohol to get a hangover and get rid of a serious condition after drinking drinks?

If even one answer is yes, you should pay attention to this.

Alcoholism is put if the following factors are identified:

loss of work due to systematic drunkenness;
violation of relationships with a partner due to regular drinking of alcoholic beverages;
being brought to the police station for drinking alcohol;
signs of deteriorating health appeared, as well as those that accompany alcohol dependence.

At the same time, patients may respond that they are not drawn to drink, they do not have withdrawal symptoms, but this does not mean at all that they do not have alcoholism, since it is difficult to admit even to oneself that there is an addiction.

Living with an alcoholic

Living with an alcoholic - real hell for a woman, for some reason, many of them seriously think that they can fix something on their own, force a man to quit.

The woman turns into a “mommy”, taking care of her husband, pouring him another dose, only so that he calms down and does not behave aggressively. This can go on for many years.

Female adapts, finds a compromise, suffers beatings, insults, poor financial situation, but at the same time continues to live with an alcoholic.

She is in a state of constant stress, fear,. Children also suffer when they see what is happening in the family.

How should you proceed?

Alcoholic aggression

Drinking people quite often show alcoholic aggression. At the same time, it can be difficult for them to control themselves. In the end, sooner or later this leads to sad consequences- beatings, injuries, and sometimes death.

If your husband is aggressive, then you need to protect yourself and your children from him.

It is dangerous to live next to such a person - he unpredictable and poorly managed.

What to do during aggression:

it is necessary to talk about treatment only when the person is sober. Otherwise, the aggressive state can only get worse;
not provoke further development of the conflict;
try to avoid contact when the husband is drinking, and teach this to children;
in case of threats of beatings or deprivation of life, do not be afraid to contact the police.

It is important to understand that the alcoholic has reduced control over his behavior, he is not always aware of what he is doing and what are the consequences of his actions. That is why such a person becomes extremely dangerous.

If a man is diagnosed with alcoholism, then the question arises - what to do next. It's impossible to live with such a person. but if the wife loves her husband, she will strive to somehow remedy the situation.

However, this often turns against her. As a result - fatigue, disappointment, constant stress.

Is it worth living with this?

Diagnosis of alcoholism- this is a degradation of the personality, but it has an impact not only on the person himself, but also on his immediate environment too.

Is it worth living with an alcoholic if he is not going to be treated? The unequivocal answer is no.

Answer your questions:

For what do you endure?
Do your children need such a father with such a negative example next to them?
How does the husband's alcoholism affect the financial condition of the family?
Is he support and support for you?
Is the person a danger to you, children and others?
For what reason do you continue to live with him?

If you think that you live with him because you love, then think, and what is this love. And is it really love or a habit, codependency, the fear of being left without a man at all due to one's own insecurity.

The alcoholic man usually does nothing for the family. At the same time, destroying his psyche, he also destroys the psyche of loved ones. Everyone who is around is under constant stress.

It's worth living together only then if an alcoholic decides to improve and actually takes steps to heal itself. However, do not believe the promises, but look at the real actions and results. What is he doing? How is trying to get rid of addiction.

How to wean a guy from drinking?

Alcoholism can manifest itself at any age.

On a young organism alcohol has a particularly strong effect, and addiction develops quickly enough.

It is useless to criticize a person, to draw his attention to the wrong behavior.

The guy should want to quit drinking himself! Motivation is important. Don't assume that if he promises you to quit drinking in the near future, Monday or next month, he will keep that promise.

Most likely, he will simply forget about him when the next friends call him to spend his leisure time.

Alcoholic always finds reasons. Either he has stress, then troubles at work or quarreled with friends - why drink, there will always be.

One of the options - the threat to leave him if he doesn't cut back on alcohol. But you must understand that addiction can return at any time, even after many years. Are you ready for this?

How to make your husband stop drinking?

As already said - motivation and purpose are important- for what, in fact, stop drinking.

Alcohol must be replaced with other things - work, communication with family, travel, hobbies.

A man must be constantly busy with something to there was no time to drink alcohol.

Support from close people and, in particular, from the wife is also important. Forget about criticism, do not remind how he spent time with friends, otherwise he will again have a desire to go to them.

Become a friend to him. Don't make excuses for his actions and alcohol cravings. And stop feeling sorry for him. Pity is the most dangerous feeling.

In the House there should be no alcoholic drinks... It is even advisable to remove medications containing alcohol away from you. The temptation should be completely absent.

If you cannot recover on your own, then it is recommended to consult a narcologist and a psychologist. They will advise on the correct steps for recovery and help you choose the most optimal ways to get rid of addiction.

Visit to a narcologist it is practically necessary at the second and third stages, since in this case it becomes rather difficult to get rid of the addiction.

To live or not with an alcoholic, whether to continue to fight - everyone chooses for himself. But remember that your life is much more valuable, and if you understand that the addict is dragging you to the bottom with him, take care of your own safety and a happy life.

What if my husband drinks? Psychologist's advice in this video:

Alcoholism is the cause of the breakdown of a huge number of families. It is difficult to live with an alcoholic, but if a woman loves her husband and wants to keep her family together, she will look for ways to deal with the illness of a loved one.

For those who do not know how to live with an alcoholic husband, the advice of a psychologist will be the necessary hint and help. In many families, the alcohol dependence of the spouse becomes the cause of the appearance of codependency or the so-called dependence of family relations. It is quite difficult to cope with it on your own and to find a way out of this situation, an experienced psychoanalyst will help a woman to save a loved one.

Alcohol abuse leaves its mark not only on the physical, but also on the mental health of a person.

An alcoholic harms both himself and those closest to him. First of all, the wife and children of the drinking man suffer. His emotional balance is disturbed, and at the moment of a nervous breakdown, he becomes dangerous.

If a woman has decided not to put up with drunkenness and has set herself the goal of not just keeping the family, but helping her loved one get rid of addiction, she must first choose the right tactics of behavior.

Help to understand how to live with an alcoholic husband, advice from a psychologist who has many years of experience working with such married couples.

What not to do and say

Each superfluous remark, a word spoken at the wrong time can lead to an attack of aggression on the part of an alcoholic.

The wife of a drinking man constantly monitors her words and deeds. When starting a conversation with a husband who is experiencing a severe hangover or is in a state of severe intoxication, you need to think about what to say so as not to provoke anger or aggravate the irritation.

There are certain phrases that cause anger or acute self-pity in people with alcoholism. In this state, a man tries to prove that he is stronger than he seems, and demonstrates his strength, rushing at his wife and children:

You cannot remind him that he promised to quit drinking, but due to weakness of character he did not keep his promise. Such reproaches will not help to achieve a positive effect. A drunken husband will demonstrate his independence to his wife and will prove that he is able to make decisions himself. If he wants to drink, he will drink, but he can quit at any time. Subconsciously realizing that he is guilty, but not wanting to admit his guilt, the alcoholic tries to reproach his loved ones for lack of understanding, insensitivity, and cruelty.
Do not feel sorry for your drunk husband and diligently look after him, bringing drinks or snacks. Realizing what causes pity and a desire to show concern, the alcoholic will only demand more attention to his person.
You cannot read lecture to a drunk person. Morality causes anger, the desire to prove to everyone around him that only he alone knows how to do the right thing.
It is strictly forbidden to argue with a husband who is in a state of strong alcoholic intoxication. Any disagreement provokes an attack of aggression.
Threats to a drunk with his departure or expulsion from his family - the risk of provoking a scandal that may end in assault.

A man in a state of alcoholic intoxication is not able to control himself. He is inadequate, aggressive or, on the contrary, pathetic.

Some drunkards take their toll on others, while others can harm themselves. A huge number of cases of suicide committed under the influence of alcohol are known. According to statistics, 40 out of 100 suicides committed suicide while intoxicated.

After waiting for the husband to sober up and suffer from a severe hangover, you cannot bring him alcohol, trying to alleviate the suffering.

Such drunkenness often smoothly turns into drunkenness, and the wife becomes the culprit of the continuing binge.

Rules of conduct for a wife

A woman who decides to save her family, despite the fact that her husband drinks every day, needs to know about the existence of certain rules of behavior in a difficult situation. This knowledge and advice from experienced psychologists will help her fight drunkenness in order to return her spouse to a normal, full life:

You need to try, during a confidential conversation, to captivate your loved one with a story about events that have happened recently. It's great if there is an opportunity to mention friends who invite them on a joint camping trip or invite their families to visit the gym.
It is better to refuse the manifestation of pity and unnecessary care, which consists in compassion for the alcoholic in the moments of a hangover.
You need to talk with your drunken husband calmly and seriously, making it clear that despite the fact that the whole family loves and appreciates him, no one intends to endure endless binges and scandals.
The wife should warn her spouse about the possibility of health changes and disorders not only from the heart, kidneys and liver. You can remember the first years of life together, how gentle and affectionate, attentive and caring the spouse was. To hint that his interest in his wife as a woman has not been the same for a long time, and perhaps this is due to his male health. After all, alcohol has a negative effect on sexual function. The main task is to make the alcoholic feel guilty.
To get a man to quit drinking, you need to change yourself. Completely change the tactics of behavior and communication style, change the hairstyle and update the wardrobe. It is important to make it clear to the spouse that the wife should not and is not going to die next to him. She wants to live a fulfilling life and invites him to do the same.
It happens that, having made the first steps towards a new life, the husband recalls those days when he had fun with friends with a bottle or glass in hand. The wife must do everything to distract him from the surging memories. This does not mean that you need to give up visiting, fearing the spouse's reaction to the alcohol put on the table. Rather, on the contrary - to give him the opportunity to look at the drunks from the outside, listen to their slurred speech and meaningless conversations, to understand how unpleasant it is for others to communicate with a person in such a state.
In families with children, a man who decides to give up alcohol needs to be reminded as often as possible that a son or daughter is proud of him. It is important for children to know the opinion of their father, they need his advice and tips, physical and moral assistance.

A wife walking alongside and proudly holding her head held high will be an additional incentive for her husband.

Especially in those moments when he notices the glances with which unfamiliar men are seeing off his wife. At such moments, a woman should be careful and careful so as not to cause jealousy or anger and not provoke a scandal.

Knowing how to behave correctly in relation to her husband, who often drinks or is constantly intoxicated, a woman is able to change a lot not only in her life, but also in his life, save her family, and provide her children with a calm, happy childhood.

She will not give a reason for aggression, will help to refuse to communicate with dubious acquaintances, will replace the beloved with dysfunctional friends.

How to convince you to stop drinking

To achieve this goal and convince your husband to stop drinking, you need to be attentive to your spouse. Alcoholism begins with domestic drunkenness, which many women consider a harmless habit. It would seem: what's wrong with the fact that the husband decided to have a drink on the weekend, going fishing or a country walk, sitting in front of the TV or in the kitchen with friends?

Gradually, this behavior becomes a habit, and without alcoholic drinks, the rest already seems incomplete, and any company is boring. A loving wife will have to find compelling reasons to convince her spouse to give up such a pastime:

First of all, it is important to abandon the storage of alcoholic beverages in the house. Even when meeting guests, a wide variety of drinks, except alcohol-containing ones, are put on the table.
By your own example, you can show that spending time in a company can be fun and without alcohol. People relax, playing sports, attending concerts and entertainment programs, devoting their weekends to children.
A sober father is the most authoritative person for children. However, under the influence of alcohol, his behavior changes so much that he does not cause anything but pity, and sometimes even disgust and hostility in his family, friends and associates.

If all persuasion is in vain, it is worthwhile to prove to her husband using any examples that alcohol dependence, like drug addiction, is a disease.

There is an effective way to get rid of it, help will be provided by an experienced qualified specialist who can cure a man, save his health and prevent the family from falling apart.

Before arriving at the clinic, you should explain to your spouse in detail what such treatment is. A man should not feel humiliated and insulted (as often happens with those who have gone through the encoding).

He makes the decision independently with a firm conviction that he is right.

How to deal with husband's drunkenness - effective methods

Only a loving wife who decides to try all possible ways to preserve the family can fight her husband's drunkenness.

Her goal is to save a loved one. It happens that, having already undergone a course of treatment, looking at his comrades, a man recalls how carelessly he spent his time in the company of drinking companions. He has a desire to return to friends so as not to think about pressing problems and difficulties.

The wife will have to support her beloved spouse, to convince him that only those who have a sense of self-respect and willpower are capable of giving up drunkenness. A strong person makes his choice and will not step back.

A woman needs to convince her spouse that she is really strong. A man must believe in himself and in his strength.

Noticing that the decision is given to him with great difficulty, you can help your loved one to give up drinking, using a variety of methods (sometimes without notifying the alcoholic):

The desire to constantly consume alcoholic beverages is associated with metabolic disorders caused by alcoholism and an acute lack of vitamins and minerals. So, the level of potassium and calcium is rapidly falling. You can replenish it with regular consumption of natural honey.
Headaches are caused by changes in the lumen of blood vessels and changes in blood pressure. There are many medications and traditional medicines that help restore the functionality of the cardiac and vascular systems. First of all, the body of a patient with alcoholism must be cleansed of toxins. The procedures are carried out in a polyclinic or a specialized medical institution. Usually, the patient is given droppers with a solution of blood substitutes, into which vitamins and other components are introduced. The duration of such therapy depends on the severity of the patient's condition, and the necessary solutions are selected and prescribed only by a qualified narcologist.
Households can also fight alcohol addiction using the methods of alternative medicine. It is not necessary to whisper conspiracies or read prayers. Most healers recommend giving alcoholics various infusions and decoctions, which contribute to the rapid elimination of toxins. You should not make your own decision about the need to accept such funds and prepare them on the advice of grandmothers. Before starting treatment with herbs and medicinal plants, you need to consult your doctor. A man may experience an allergic reaction to one of the components of the composition, which will only aggravate an already difficult situation.
The help of a qualified psychoanalyst is recognized as an effective method of combating alcoholism. The specialist conducts conversations, inspires the patient with aversion to alcohol, explains what harm the drinker does to his body.

In cases where all attempts to convince a husband to stop drinking do not bring a positive result, it remains to turn to specialists for coding an alcoholic.

In this video, the psychologist will advise what to do if the husband is an alcoholic:

This method will help to get rid of the addiction for a certain time, but in order for the husband not to take up the old, the wife will need to show patience and understanding, provide support and help the spouse make sure that life without alcohol is full of vivid impressions and joyful events. Only by quitting drinking will a man restore and maintain his health, will remain the head of the family, beloved husband and father. After all, this is the purpose of family relations?

Drunkenness of the husband is a disaster for every family. But when at one moment a woman realizes that her husband is not just drinking, that this is real alcoholism, then the search for a solution begins. It is good if a man understands the problem and wants to get rid of addiction. More often, women lead the fight against alcoholism by the head of the family alone. And very often they lose this battle.

What should a wife do who finds signs of alcoholism in her beloved man? Psychological consultations help to choose the right tactics and avoid typical mistakes that women make when struggling with alcohol dependence of a loved one. If you do not have the opportunity to seek psychological help, take advantage of expert advice.

Frequently asked questions from wives of alcoholics to psychologists

Women who go to psychologists about their spouse's alcoholism often ask the same questions. What should I do to keep my husband from drinking? Is there any hope of saving the marriage, or is divorce inevitable? How to live on if the husband is a drunken alcoholic, and there is nowhere to go? It all depends on the specific situation, but there are general recommendations, following which increases the chances of defeating alcoholism.

How to help your husband stop drinking alcohol

If a woman wants to help a man-alcoholic get rid of addiction, the first thing to do is to convince him to contact a narcologist and / or a psychologist. The addiction worker will be able to guide the decision on the need for treatment.

But usually husbands refuse to go to the doctor's office, and the wife in such a situation only has to resort to pouring medicines. But before giving pills or, consult a narcologist in order to avoid dangerous consequences. You can also try folk remedies, conspiracies, prayers.

You can't get your husband to stop drinking, but you can provide the right support:

talk to your beloved heart to heart, try to find out what emptiness he is filling with alcohol;
separate the person and his illness, demonstrate that you value your husband, despite the drunkenness;
create an atmosphere of goodwill;
cultivate a sober lifestyle in the family;
find a common goal and work together to achieve it.

If the husband does agree to the treatment, it is important to choose the right method. Much depends on the patient's personality, the sincerity of his desire to end the addiction. In some cases, the best option would be drug coding, which allows you to maintain aversion to alcohol for a long period without the need for daily medication.

Prayer is a powerful tool for believers in their fight against alcoholism. Prayer practices help a woman herself to maintain peace of mind if her husband is an alcohol addict.

How to live with an alcoholic husband

Living with an alcoholic husband is a nightmare. In order not to find yourself in the abyss of despair, you must first save yourself, not the alcoholic. This does not require doing something super complicated. Simple, targeted actions can bring about dramatic change.

Avoid drinking alcohol completely - both at home and outside.
Do not let your life be ruined - do not give up yourself, your interests, plans, goals for the sake of saving your alcoholic husband.
Protect your own savings.
Accept the fact that your husband may remain addicted and you will have to break up.
Prepare the platform for life separately in case of divorce.
Increase the number of positive moments - meet with friends, walk more, devote time to your favorite activities.

All this gradually changes the attitude towards the situation. The wife begins to react differently to life with an alcohol addict. If, nevertheless, a divorce happens, she will be mentally prepared for such an outcome and much easier to adapt to a new life. Often, men, seeing internal changes in a woman, also begin to rethink the situation. And this is the main step towards liberation from alcohol addiction.

How to deal with an alcoholic husband

Wives make a lot of mistakes in their behavior with alcoholic husbands. The codependent state does not allow a woman to leave the "vicious circle". In a relationship with an alcohol-addicted husband, she alternately plays the roles of victim, rescuer and accuser. None of these positions are constructive. So what is the right way to deal with an alcoholic?

Remember that you are not a mom or a nanny. Let the drinking husband solve his problems himself.
Communicate with your spouse not with emotions, but with arguments.
Do not control your spouse, do not check.
Do not throw tantrums, especially if your husband is drunk.
Do not feel sorry for the alcoholic and do not run for beer when your spouse wants to get drunk.
Stop hiding the problem from family and friends.
Do not tolerate physical and emotional abuse.

Any manifestation of violence is a very serious call. Do not justify your husband's behavior by being drunk. If an alcoholic beats his wife, children, relatives - the relationship must be terminated immediately! You also don't need to endure verbal bullying. It is necessary to make it clear to the spouse that violence in any form is unacceptable, and that there is only one ending in this case - divorce.

How to leave an alcoholic husband

Women tolerate their husbands' drunkenness for a variety of reasons. Some hope that the husband will be able to get rid of alcohol addiction. Others try to keep their families together for the sake of their children. Still others simply do not know how to live on their own. A woman can stay in such illusions for many years, and only when patience reaches an extreme point, she decides to file for divorce.

If the “point of no return” is passed and you decide to leave the alcoholic, try to calm down your emotions and take the following steps:

Solve housing and financial issues. Usually, many stop at this point, believing that there is no way to live without a husband, especially if the living space belongs to him. But even in such situations, there is always a way out. Take your time, prepare the necessary base before leaving your alcoholic spouse for good.
Tell your husband you are filing for divorce(if he is drunk, wait until he sober up). But do not make such statements "bogeyman" - usually it only works once or twice. Then the spouse realizes that the threats are empty, no one is going to divorce him.
Minimize contact after divorce... Refuse to meet, do not accept gifts. If possible, temporarily change your place of residence, phone numbers. This is especially necessary if the husband is showing aggression. But for a woman this period of "reboot", getting used to life without a husband is also important.
Work through your emotions. In many cases, women are relieved after leaving the alcoholic. But absolutely opposite reactions are also possible. From time to time or constantly, the ex-wife feels anxiety for her ex-spouse, feels guilt, remorse, resentment, anger. The emotional spectrum is extremely diverse. But whatever emotions you feel, do not muffle them inside yourself.

After a divorce, the ex-husband can terrorize his wife, threaten, or vice versa - ask for forgiveness, make promises not to drink ever, and make attempts to restore relations. Should you go back to your ex-spouse? Only if he received treatment and actually stopped drinking. But when your ex-husband continues to drink and feeds you with promises that everything will change after you return, forget about this person and start life from scratch.

If the husband is a tyrant, aggressive, during alcoholic intoxication raises his hands to his wife or children - this is a very good reason to divorce.

Take the first step! You can expect your husband to recognize himself as an alcoholic all your life. If the patient does not want to admit the presence of the disease, treatment can be carried out without his knowledge. Consult a narcologist about taking medications that can be added to food, drinks (, Kolme, AlkoStop and similar products).

Find support! Out of a sense of shame, the wife of an alcoholic sometimes does not tell anyone about her husband's alcoholism, even close relatives. Another common option is that women complain about the plight of everyone. In both cases, the woman is not getting the help she needs. Go for a face-to-face consultation, join the Al-Anon group, register on the codependent forum - there you will receive valuable advice and quality support.

Boost your self-esteem! Without exception, all women living with alcoholics have severely low self-esteem. Use all possible means: take care of yourself, focus on achievements, praise yourself, do something pleasant every day only for yourself.

Set up barriers to negativity! The wives of drinking men are emotionally drained. Communicating with negative people, watching sad movies, reading the news only reinforces the “everything is bad” state. Get into the habit of looking for joy every day, keep yourself calm and peaceful.

Video

Have you tried many methods, but your husband continues to drink alcohol? After watching this video, you will learn an effective way to make him say goodbye to a bad habit. The psychologist offers a plan of action to help her husband overcome alcohol addiction, and his wife - codependency from her alcoholic husband.

It is acute in many families.

She destroys marriages, because not every woman understands how to live with her alcoholic husband, save him from addiction or divorce - this is the most exciting question for women.

Psychologist's advice sometimes helps to understand the situation, to understand further steps, to realize all the negative points. Only knowing the mechanism of the disease helps to decide whether to stay close.

The emergence of alcohol dependence

It has long been recognized as a serious illness associated with the psychological and physical dependence of a person on alcohol. This is a real problem in modern society that affects all social strata.

It becomes the cause of severe diseases of internal organs, upsets the mental balance, leads to complete degradation and lack of interest in the family, work, favorite hobbies.

Living with an alcoholic becomes a real challenge for family members. Aggression is often shown to the wife, she can feel moral pressure.

The dependence on vodka arises gradually, it goes through certain stages:

Mental: formed with the daily use of a small amount of alcohol, frequent gatherings with friends. The dose begins to increase, a severe hangover disappears, which serves as a kind of body defense. The patient simply steps over the unpleasant sensations, drowns them out with a new dose.
Physical: the woman does not understand how to live with an alcoholic, tries to convince the man to stop. At this stage, representatives of the stronger sex in every possible way deny dependence, refuse help, enter a state of binge. The hangover syndrome practically does not manifest itself in the usual form for a healthy person.
Social: the decay products of ethanol are not excreted from the body in full, intoxication of brain cells begins. The patient develops serious diseases of the heart, liver, kidneys, the skin becomes flabby. There are memory impairments, neuroses. The family faces the question: how to live with an alcoholic and not go crazy from constant stress.

With each stage, it becomes more difficult to get rid of the disease on your own. In addition, the overwhelming majority of people do not have enough willpower to deny themselves another drink.

Not knowing what to do if the husband is an alcoholic, it is necessary to analyze the reasons that led to the trouble:

psychological self-doubt;
desire to relax, relieve tension;
metabolic disorder;
genetic pathologies of some parts of the brain;
a habit imposed by the work collective.

Sometimes the problem stretches back from childhood: according to doctors' observations, people often suffer from alcoholism, whose parents had a habit of drinking every day in their families.

In each case, the reason is individual, requires the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist, analysis of a specific situation. In rare cases, the disease becomes a consequence of inflammation of the parts of the brain, a malfunction of the nervous system.

What is the difference between drunkenness and alcoholism

In a situation where the husband is an alcoholic, the advice of a psychologist helps a woman more than emotional conversations with her friends. The specialist is trying to understand whether it is possible to stop the further development of the situation on his own.

It helps to determine the border between and a dangerous disease:

When drunkenness, unpleasant moments arise infrequently (weekends, holidays, vacations). The rest of the time, the man tries to control himself in order to keep his job.
With alcoholism, symptoms of withdrawal are often observed: insomnia, irritability, hand tremors, depression. With drunkenness, hangover symptoms disappear for 2-3 days without a trace.
Doctors consider drinking to be an established habit that can still be defeated. Sometimes it is enough just to take your free time with an interesting hobby, sports, to change your life for the better.
With everyday drunkenness, memory lapses do not occur, binges are rare.

If a woman believes that her husband is an alcoholic, counseling from a psychologist can help determine the degree of addiction. With drunkenness, the chances of returning to normal relations are much higher. They depend on the atmosphere in the family, support and understanding.

How to live with an alcoholic

The problem manifests itself gradually. The wife notices that the spouse buys more alcohol, more often looking for an excuse to relax with a bottle of beer, but is limited to verbal remarks.

A few years later, the question invariably arises: how to live with an alcoholic husband. The advice of a psychologist is simply necessary to understand the situation, because codependency appears.

This particular psychological condition, which affects the nervous system, becomes a defensive reaction. A woman feels a whole gamut of feelings, cannot cope with resentment, realizes herself lost, betrayed.

If the husband is an alcoholic, his half may show the following signs of codependency:

constant monitoring of every movement of the spouse;
a drop in interest in self-development, one's own appearance;
justification of actions by self-sacrifice;
neurosis.

The reason becomes a difficult choice: she is trying to adapt and understand how to live with an alcoholic, the advice of others only aggravates her mental state. On the other hand, it crushes guilt for inaction. The condition provokes depression, can lead to suicidal thoughts, complete apathy.

If an insoluble dilemma has arisen of how to live with an alcoholic, the advice of a psychologist is simply necessary.

The analysis often reveals that the spouse spends time and energy on scandals, trying to control and pressure morally.

She convinces herself that this is the only way to maintain balance in the family. In fact, it burns out emotionally, but positive changes do not come.

Before figuring out whether it is worth living with an alcoholic, the advice of a psychologist will directly affect his wife:

Overcoming the victim complex, abandoning the "owe everyone" position. Stop blaming others for personal failure, lack of financial stability or education. You should learn to take the initiative, not be afraid of rejections and negative results.
Transfer attention to your own appearance and health, focus on children. After realizing how to live with an alcoholic in the same apartment, the need for enhanced self-care should come. It is recommended to visit interesting events more often, surround yourself with positive people, make small gifts in the form of cosmetics, a good book.
Set new goals, learn to plan. It is important to love and respect yourself, not to react to insults, attempts to regret from relatives.

What to do if the husband is an alcoholic, help to understand the advice of a psychologist. Experts explain that it is necessary to stimulate interest in oneself, to create a positive atmosphere. This will help get rid of insecurity, make the best decision without emotion.

What actions are useless with an alcoholic

If the husband is an alcoholic, the woman should decide what to do based on her own feelings.

The main thing to remember is that alcohol addiction is a disease, and a person can be cured only with his consent.

Help a man with a hangover, after a binge, deliver home from a cafe.
Tolerate insults and drunken antics in the hope of a quick change.
Arrange intimate conversations with a drunken spouse, waste time on moralizing and promises.
Provoke quarrels that leave a negative residue, drive into a stressful state.
Pour out alcohol, hide money and things.
Use unproven methods of treatment for drunkenness, quack methods.
Justify the binges and misdeeds of the husband by his own shortcomings.

Is it possible to live with an alcoholic? For most families, the problem is the inability to move into separate rooms.

If you have to stay in the same apartment, you must try to protect yourself and the children from aggression as much as possible, periodically leave for a few days in a more favorable environment (to the dacha, to your parents or friends).

Living with an alcoholic can often turn into torment, so help and advice from a psychologist can help you prioritize.

If a man refuses to admit his addiction and turn to a narcologist, perhaps the only way out is to break up.

In this case, you should change your home, phone number, try to minimize communication and meetings.

Most women return after a few months to a man who promises to forget about alcohol.

The situation repeats itself, which greatly affects the mental state, makes it difficult to establish a personal life. Experts recommend focusing on raising children, building a career, and not giving in to emotions.

Conclusion

After several years of living with an alcoholic, the spouse needs qualified support from a psychologist, which is aimed at working out the victim syndrome.

The specialist helps to build the correct tactics of behavior, teaches you to cope with anger and resentment.

Professional counseling increases self-esteem, can awaken hidden resources, forcing a woman to open up to new sensations.